A Life of Service
April 30, 2015. Thursday
of the Fourth Week of Easter
Father Todd Belardi, LC
John 13:16-20
When Jesus had washed
the disciples´ feet, he said to them: "Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave
is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.
If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it. I am not speaking of all
of you. I know those whom I have chosen. But so that the scripture might be
fulfilled, The one who ate my food has raised his heel against me. From now on
I am telling you before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe
that I AM. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send receives
me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe that You are God. I believe that You became man,
suffered, died, rose from the dead and ascended in heaven. I believe that You
sent us the Holy Spirit to guide us along our earthly journey towards Your
heavenly Kingdom. Thank You for Your infinite, unconditional love. Thank You
for showing me the way. I place all my trust in You and yearn to love You more
each day.
Petition: Lord Jesus, make me prefer to serve rather than be served.
1. The Teacher: The disciples called Jesus “Master”
during his lifetime. Many others did too –– and rightfully so –– because Jesus
is the Master. The third time St. Peter saw the Lord after the Resurrection, he
confessed: “Lord, you know everything” (John 21:17). And even if it meant
accepting difficult growth lessons in life, St. Peter was able to accept humbly
that Christ truly was Master, that he does know all. In contemplating Christ,
we must try to remember who it is who is speaking, acting, working miracles,
suffering, working and instructing. It is God, the Master of all: a man like
us, yes, but also God, holding the keys to all things.
2. The Disciple: The master became a slave. God served men. We
can only bow in humble adoration knowing that our all-powerful God came to
earth to serve us. Time and time again Christ gives his disciples an example of
their own mission: to serve others. Love God by serving others; live like Jesus
by humbly submitting to God’s will. This is the essence of Christianity: to
live a life of humble service with all people, especially with those we find it
most difficult to serve. One word captures it: charity.
3. The Blessing: Christ invites us to serve. Being a servant
to others is not easy, because it means we have to be humble. It was not easy
for Christ either, but he had a motivation: to love and save us. Serving is a
blessing –– even in those situations when our passions flare up and we would
like to justify ourselves –– because we can love. Love transforms our world; it
transforms hearts and allows the grace of God to touch the depths of the soul.
If we have love for souls as our motivation to serve, every opportunity we have
to live as servants becomes a blessing, a blessing to live like the Master who
came to serve and not be served and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord Jesus, help me this day to imitate You as
a humble servant of all. Inflame my heart with a great zeal for souls so that
in every moment I may desire to bring Your love to others.
Resolution: I will do a concrete act of charity
today for someone in need.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I
stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His
Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five, those in His
hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete condition of my soul
as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to God. I did not
know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for. What
a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked
me, Who are you? I answered, "I am Your servant, Lord." You
are guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself
immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which
do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory or for a short while on
earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want to
suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end of the
world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back
to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish
My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do
this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength
and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help
nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but
don't let this frighten you; I am with you.
41 On one occasion I saw a servant of God in the immediate
danger of committing a mortal sin. I started to beg God to deign to send down
upon me all the torments of hell and all the sufferings He wished if only this
priest would be set free and snatched from the occasion of committing a sin.
Jesus heard my prayer and, that very instant, I felt a crown of thorns on my
head. The thorns penetrated my head with great force right into my brain. This
lasted for three hours; the servant of God was set free from this sin, and his
soul was strengthened by a special grace of God.
50 +I desire that priests proclaim this great mercy of
Mine towards souls of sinners. Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me. The
flames of mercy are burning Me - clamoring to be spent; I want to pour them out
upon these souls.
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].
57 O my Jesus, You are the life of my life. You know only
too well that I long for nothing but the glory of Your Name and that souls come
to know Your goodness. Why do souls avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand that.
Oh, if I could only cut my heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You,
O Jesus, each piece as a heart whole and entire, to make up in part for the
hearts that do not love You! I love You, Jesus, with every drop of my blood,
and I would gladly shed my blood for You to give You a proof of the sincerity
of my love. O God, the more I know You the less I can comprehend You, but this
"non-comprehension" lets me realize how great You are! And it is this
impossibility of comprehending You which enflames my heart anew for You, O
Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus,
I have been at peace and desired nothing else. I found my destiny at the moment
when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love. In comparison with
you, everything is nothing. Sufferings, adversities, humiliations, failures and
suspicions that have come my way are splinters that keep alive the fire of my
love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
69 +O Jesus, eternal Truth, strengthen my feeble forces; You
can do all things, Lord. I know that without You all my efforts are in vain. O
Jesus, do not hide from me, for I cannot live without You. Listen to the cry of
my soul. Your mercy has not been exhausted, Lord, so have pity on my misery.
Your mercy surpasses the understanding of all Angels and people put together;
and so, although it seems to me that You do not hear me, I put my trust in the
ocean of Your mercy, and I know that my hope will not be deceived.
70 Only Jesus knows how burdensome and difficult it is to
accomplish one's duties when the soul is so interiorly tortured, the physical
powers so weakened and the mind darkened. In the silence of my heart I kept
saying to myself, "O Christ, may delights, honor and glory be Yours, and
suffering be mine. I will not lag one step behind as I follow You, though
thorns wound my feet."
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read.
The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all.
One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read.
The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all.
One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
91 O my Jesus, You alone know what persecutions I suffer,
and this only because I am being faithful to You and following Your orders. You
are my strength; sustain me that I may always carry out what You ask of me. Of
myself I can do nothing, but when You sustain me, all difficulties are nothing
for me. O my Lord, I can see very well that from the time when my soul first
received the capacity to know You, my life has been a continual struggle which
has become increasingly intense.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist.
O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way You have marked out for me.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist.
O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way You have marked out for me.
96 +Trials sent by God to a soul which is particularly loved
by Him.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
163 JMJ The Year 1937
General Exercises
+O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy.
+I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, 0 Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.
+You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself, for you can do all things.
General Exercises
+O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy.
+I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, 0 Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.
+You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself, for you can do all things.
195 O Jesus, today my soul is as though darkened by
suffering. Not a single ray of light. The storm is raging, and Jesus is asleep.
O my Master, I will not wake You; I will not interrupt Your sweet sleep. I
believe that You fortify me without my knowing it.
Throughout the long hours I adore You, O living Bread, amidst the great drought in my soul. O Jesus, pure Love, I do not need consolations; I am nourished by Your will, O Mighty One! Your will is the goal of my existence. It seems to me that the whole world serves me and depends on me. You, O Lord, understand my soul with all its aspirations.
Jesus, when I myself cannot sing You the hymn of love, I admire the singing of the Seraphim, they who are so dearly loved by You. I desire to drown myself in You as they do. Nothing will stem such love, for no might has power over it. It is like lightning that illuminates the darkness, but does not remain in it. O my Master, shape my soul according to Your will and Your eternal designs!
Throughout the long hours I adore You, O living Bread, amidst the great drought in my soul. O Jesus, pure Love, I do not need consolations; I am nourished by Your will, O Mighty One! Your will is the goal of my existence. It seems to me that the whole world serves me and depends on me. You, O Lord, understand my soul with all its aspirations.
Jesus, when I myself cannot sing You the hymn of love, I admire the singing of the Seraphim, they who are so dearly loved by You. I desire to drown myself in You as they do. Nothing will stem such love, for no might has power over it. It is like lightning that illuminates the darkness, but does not remain in it. O my Master, shape my soul according to Your will and Your eternal designs!
208 O you small, everyday sacrifices, you are to me like
wild flowers which I strew over the feet of my beloved Jesus. I sometimes
compare these trifles to the heroic virtues, and that is because their enduring
nature demands heroism.
209 In my sufferings, I do not seek help from creatures, but
God is everything to me. And yet, it often seems that even the Lord does not
hear me. I arm myself with patience and silence, like a dove that does not
complain and feels no bitterness when its children are being taken away from
it. I want to soar into the very heat of the sun, and I do not want to stop in
its vapors. I will not grow weary, because it is on You that I am leaning-O
You, my Strength!
210 I fervently beg the Lord to strengthen my faith, so that
in my drab, everyday life I will not be guided by human dispositions, but by
those of the spirit. Oh, how everything drags man towards the earth! But lively
faith maintains the soul in the higher regions and assigns self-love its proper
place; that is to say, the lowest one.
223 O living Host, my one and only strength, fountain of
love and mercy, embrace the whole world, fortify faint souls. Oh, blessed be
the instant and the moment when Jesus left us His most merciful Heart!
224 To suffer without complaining, to bring comfort to
others and to drown my own sufferings in the most Sacred Heart of Jesus!
I will spend all my free moments at the feet of [Our Lord in] the Blessed Sacrament. At the feet of Jesus, I will seek light, comfort and strength. I will show my gratitude unceasingly to God for His great mercy towards me, never forgetting the favors He has bestowed on me, especially the grace of a vocation. I will hide myself among the sisters like a little violet among lilies. I want to blossom for my Lord and Maker, to forget about myself, to empty myself totally for the sake of immortal souls-this is my delight.
I will spend all my free moments at the feet of [Our Lord in] the Blessed Sacrament. At the feet of Jesus, I will seek light, comfort and strength. I will show my gratitude unceasingly to God for His great mercy towards me, never forgetting the favors He has bestowed on me, especially the grace of a vocation. I will hide myself among the sisters like a little violet among lilies. I want to blossom for my Lord and Maker, to forget about myself, to empty myself totally for the sake of immortal souls-this is my delight.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to
Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough!
Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and
sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my
Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to
place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not
monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity
to do good.
248 The words of the Bishop [Rospond[73]],
spoken at the ceremony of the taking of perpetual vows: "Accept this
candle as a sign of heavenly light and of burning love." While giving the
ring: "I betroth you to Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father Most High; may
He keep you unblemished. Take this ring as a sign of the eternal covenant you
are making with Christ, the Spouse of Virgins. May it be for you the ring of
faith and the sign of the Holy Spirit, that you may be called the bride of
Christ and, if you serve Him faithfully, be crowned [as such] for all eternity.
287 +My Jesus, when I look at this life of souls, I see that
many of them serve You with some mistrust. At certain times, especially when
there is an opportunity to show their love for God, I see them running away
from the battlefield. And once Jesus said to me, Do you, my child, also want
to act like that? I answered the Lord, "Oh, no, my Jesus, I will not
retreat from the battlefield, even if mortal sweat breaks out on my brow; I
will not let the sword fall from my hand until I rest at the feet of the Holy
Trinity!" Whatever I do, I do not rely on my own strength, but on God's
grace. With God's grace a soul can overcome the greatest difficulties.
297 +Jesus, Supreme Light, grant me the grace of knowing
myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your light, and fill the abyss of my soul
with Your own self, for You alone [...]
298 O my Jesus, the Life, the Way and the Truth, I beg You
to keep me close to You as a mother holds a baby to her bosom, for I am not
only a helpless child, but an accumulation of misery and nothingness.
299 When, on one occasion, my confessor told me to ask the
Lord Jesus the meaning of the two rays in the image,[77]
I answered, "Very well, I will ask the Lord."
During prayer I heard these words within me: The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls...
These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross.
These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. I desire that the first Sunday after Easter be the Feast of Mercy.
During prayer I heard these words within me: The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls...
These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross.
These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. I desire that the first Sunday after Easter be the Feast of Mercy.
300 +Ask of my faithful servant [Father Sopocko] that, on
this day, he tell the whole world of My great mercy; that whoever approaches
the Fount of Life on this day will be granted complete remission of sins and
punishment.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
458
During the ten-o'clock meditation, Father [Rzyczkowski [98]]
spoke about divine mercy and about God's goodness to us. He said that as we
review the history of mankind, we can see this great goodness of God at every
step. All the attributes of God, such as omnipotence and wisdom, serve to
reveal to us the greatest of His attributes; namely, His goodness. God's
goodness is the greatest of God's attributes. Many souls striving for
perfection, however, are not aware of this great goodness of God. Everything
that Father said in the course of the meditation about the goodness of God, was
exactly what Jesus had said to me concerning (the Feast of Mercy. I have now
come to understand clearly what the Lord has promised me, and I have no doubt
about anything; God's language is clear and distinct.
525 O
Holy Trinity, in whom is contained the inner life of God, the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Spirit, eternal joy, inconceivable depth of love, poured out upon
all creatures and constituting their happiness, honor and glory be to Your holy
name forever and ever. Amen.
When I consider Your greatness and beauty, O my God, I rejoice exceedingly that the Lord I serve is so great. With love and joy I carry out His will, and the more I come to know Him, the more I desire to love Him. I burn with the desire to love Him ever more and more.
When I consider Your greatness and beauty, O my God, I rejoice exceedingly that the Lord I serve is so great. With love and joy I carry out His will, and the more I come to know Him, the more I desire to love Him. I burn with the desire to love Him ever more and more.
543 The
duration of the postulancy. The postulancy will last one year. During this
time, the candidate should examine whether she is attracted to this type of
life and whether it is suitable to her. The directress should also diligently
consider whether or not the person in question is suitable for this type of
life. After a year, if the postulant shows evidence of a stable will and an
earnest desire to serve God, she should be admitted to the novitiate.
573
December 21, 1935. One day my confessor [Father Sopocko] told me to go and look
at a certain house to see whether it was the same house I had seen in my
vision. When I went with my confessor to see that house, or rather those ruins,
at a glance I recognized that they were the same as I had seen in my vision.
The moment I touched the boards which had been nailed together in place of the
doors, a strength pervaded my soul like a flash, giving me unshakable
certitude. I went away quickly from that place, my heart full of joy, for it
seemed to me that there was a certain force chaining me to that place.
I am very happy to see that everything agrees perfectly with what I saw in the vision. When the confessor spoke to me about the arrangement of the cells and other things, I recognized everything to be the same as had been told to me by Jesus. I am delighted that God is acting in this way through my confessor, but I am not surprised that God is giving him so much light; since God, who is Light itself, lives in a pure and humble heart, and all sufferings and adversities serve but to reveal the soul's holiness. When I returned home, I went immediately to our chapel to rest a while. Then suddenly I heard these words in my soul: Do not fear anything. I am with you. These matters are in My hands and I will bring them to fruition according to My mercy, for nothing can oppose My will.
I am very happy to see that everything agrees perfectly with what I saw in the vision. When the confessor spoke to me about the arrangement of the cells and other things, I recognized everything to be the same as had been told to me by Jesus. I am delighted that God is acting in this way through my confessor, but I am not surprised that God is giving him so much light; since God, who is Light itself, lives in a pure and humble heart, and all sufferings and adversities serve but to reveal the soul's holiness. When I returned home, I went immediately to our chapel to rest a while. Then suddenly I heard these words in my soul: Do not fear anything. I am with you. These matters are in My hands and I will bring them to fruition according to My mercy, for nothing can oppose My will.
634
March 22,[1936]. When I arrived at Warsaw, I went into the small chapel for a
moment to thank the Lord for a safe journey, and I asked the Lord to give me
the assistance and the grace necessary for everything that was in store for me
here. I submitted myself in all things to His holy will. I heard these words:
Fear nothing; all difficulties will serve for the fulfillment of My will.
764
November 24. Today, I received a letter from Father Sopocko. [147]
I learned from it that God himself is conducting this whole affair. And as the
Lord has begun it, so will He continue to carry it along. And the greater the
difficulties which I see, the more am I at peace. Oh, if in this whole matter
the glory of God and the profit to souls were not greatly served, Satan would
not be opposing it so much. But he senses what he is going to lose because of
it. I have now learned that Satan hates mercy more than anything else. It is
his greatest torment. Still, the word of God will not pass away; God's
utterance is living; difficulties will not suppress the works of God, but show
that they are God's...
929 When
I had rested near His sweetest Heart, I told Him, "Jesus, I have so much
to tell You." And the Lord said to me with great love, Speak, My
daughter. And I started to enumerate the pains of my heart; that is, how
greatly concerned I am for all mankind, that "they all do not know You,
and those who do know You do not love You as You deserve to be loved. I also
see how terribly sinners offend You; and then again, I see how severely the
faithful, especially Your servants, are oppressed and persecuted. And then,
too, I see many souls rushing headlong into the terrible abyss of hell. You
see, Jesus, this is the pain that gnaws at my heart and bones. And, although
You show me special love and inundate my heart with streams of Your joys,
nevertheless, this does not appease the sufferings I have just mentioned, but
rather they penetrate my poor heart all the more acutely. Oh, how ardently I
desire that all mankind turn with trust to Your mercy. Then, seeing the glory
of Your name, my heart will be comforted."
Jesus listened to these outpourings of my heart with gravity and interest, as if He had known nothing about them, and this seemed to make it easier for me to talk. And the Lord said to me, My daughter, those words of your heart are pleasing to Me, and by saying the chaplet you are bringing humankind closer to Me. After these words, I found myself alone, but the presence of God is always in my soul.
Jesus listened to these outpourings of my heart with gravity and interest, as if He had known nothing about them, and this seemed to make it easier for me to talk. And the Lord said to me, My daughter, those words of your heart are pleasing to Me, and by saying the chaplet you are bringing humankind closer to Me. After these words, I found myself alone, but the presence of God is always in my soul.
948
February 13, [1937]. Today, during the Passion Service, [170]
I saw Jesus being tortured and crowned with thorns and holding a reed in His
hand. Jesus was silent as the soldiers were bustling about, vying with each
other in torturing Him. Jesus said nothing, but just looked at me, and in that
gaze I felt His pain, so terrible that we have not the faintest idea of how
much He suffered for us before He was crucified. My soul was filled with pain
and longing; in my soul, I felt great hatred for sin, and even the smallest
infidelity on my part seemed to me like a huge mountain for which I must
expiate by mortification and penance. When I see Jesus tormented, my heart is
torn to pieces, and I think: what will become of sinners if they do not take
advantage of the Passion of Jesus? In His Passion, I see a whole sea of mercy.
+ J.M.J. February 12, 1937
+ The Love of God is the flower - Mercy the fruit.
+ J.M.J. February 12, 1937
+ The Love of God is the flower - Mercy the fruit.
1000 In the terrible desert of life,
O my sweetest Jesus,
Protect souls from disaster,
For You are the Fountain of Mercy.
Let the resplendence of Your rays,
O sweet Commander of our souls,
Let mercy change the world.
And you who have received this grace, serve Jesus.
Steep is the great highway I must travel,
But I fear nothing,
For the pure fount of mercy is flowing for my sake,
And, with it, strength for the humble soul.
I am exhausted and worn out,
But my conscience bears me witness
That I do all for the greater glory of the Lord,
The Lord who is my repose and my heritage.
[End of Notebook Two of the Diary.]
O my sweetest Jesus,
Protect souls from disaster,
For You are the Fountain of Mercy.
Let the resplendence of Your rays,
O sweet Commander of our souls,
Let mercy change the world.
And you who have received this grace, serve Jesus.
Steep is the great highway I must travel,
But I fear nothing,
For the pure fount of mercy is flowing for my sake,
And, with it, strength for the humble soul.
I am exhausted and worn out,
But my conscience bears me witness
That I do all for the greater glory of the Lord,
The Lord who is my repose and my heritage.
[End of Notebook Two of the Diary.]
1029 The
doctor did not allow me to go to the chapel to attend the Passion Service,
although I had a great desire for it; however, I prayed in my own room.
Suddenly I heard the bell in the next room, and I went in and rendered a
service to a seriously sick person. When I returned to my room, I suddenly saw
the Lord Jesus, who said, My daughter, you gave Me greater pleasure by
rendering Me that service than if you had prayed for a long time. I
answered, "But it was not to You, Jesus, but to that patient that I
rendered this service." And the Lord answered me, Yes, My daughter, but
whatever you do for your neighbor, you do for Me.
1286 +
Thank You, O God, for all the graces
Which unceasingly You lavish upon me,
Graces which enlighten me with the brilliance of the sun,
For by them You show me the sure way.
Thank You, 0 Lord, for creating me,
For calling me into being from nothingness,
For imprinting Your divinity on my soul,
The work of sheer merciful love.
Thank You, O God, for Holy Baptism
Which engrafted me into Your family,
A gift great beyond all thought or expression
Which transforms my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for Holy Confession,
For that inexhaustible spring of great mercy,
For that inconceivable fountain of graces
In which sin-tainted souls become purified.
Thank You, O Jesus, for Holy Communion
In which You give us Yourself.
I feel Your Heart beating within my breast
As You cause Your divine life to unfold within me.
Thank You, O Holy Spirit, for the Sacrament of Confirmation,
Which dubs me Your knight
And gives strength to my soul at each moment,
Protecting me from evil.
Thank You, O God, for the grace of a vocation.
For being called to serve You alone,
Leading me to make You my sole love,
An unequal honor for my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for perpetual vows,
For that union of pure love,
For having deigned to unite Your pure heart with mine
And uniting my heart to Yours in the purest of bonds.
Thank You, O Lord, for the Sacrament of Anointing
Which, in my final moments, will give me strength;
My help in battle, my guide to salvation,
Fortifying my soul till we rejoice forever.
Thank You, O God, for all the inspirations
That Your goodness lavishes upon me,
For the interior lights given my soul,
Which the heart senses, but words cannot express.
Thank You, O Holy Trinity, for the vastness of the graces
Which You have lavished on me unceasingly through life.
My gratitude will intensify as the eternal dawn rises,
When, for the first time, I sing to Your glory.
Which unceasingly You lavish upon me,
Graces which enlighten me with the brilliance of the sun,
For by them You show me the sure way.
Thank You, 0 Lord, for creating me,
For calling me into being from nothingness,
For imprinting Your divinity on my soul,
The work of sheer merciful love.
Thank You, O God, for Holy Baptism
Which engrafted me into Your family,
A gift great beyond all thought or expression
Which transforms my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for Holy Confession,
For that inexhaustible spring of great mercy,
For that inconceivable fountain of graces
In which sin-tainted souls become purified.
Thank You, O Jesus, for Holy Communion
In which You give us Yourself.
I feel Your Heart beating within my breast
As You cause Your divine life to unfold within me.
Thank You, O Holy Spirit, for the Sacrament of Confirmation,
Which dubs me Your knight
And gives strength to my soul at each moment,
Protecting me from evil.
Thank You, O God, for the grace of a vocation.
For being called to serve You alone,
Leading me to make You my sole love,
An unequal honor for my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for perpetual vows,
For that union of pure love,
For having deigned to unite Your pure heart with mine
And uniting my heart to Yours in the purest of bonds.
Thank You, O Lord, for the Sacrament of Anointing
Which, in my final moments, will give me strength;
My help in battle, my guide to salvation,
Fortifying my soul till we rejoice forever.
Thank You, O God, for all the inspirations
That Your goodness lavishes upon me,
For the interior lights given my soul,
Which the heart senses, but words cannot express.
Thank You, O Holy Trinity, for the vastness of the graces
Which You have lavished on me unceasingly through life.
My gratitude will intensify as the eternal dawn rises,
When, for the first time, I sing to Your glory.
1290
September 19, 1937. Today, my own brother, Stanley, visited me. I rejoiced
greatly in this beautiful soul, who also intends to devote himself to God's
service. That is to say, God himself is drawing him to His love. We talked for
a long time about God, about His goodness. During this conversation with him, l
learned how pleasing his soul was to God. I received permission from Mother
Superior to see him more often. When he asked my advice about entering
religion, I replied, "Surely you know best what God is asking of
you." I mentioned the Jesuit Order, but said, "Enter wherever you
like." I promised to pray for him, and I decided to make a novena to the
Sacred Heart through the intercession of Father Peter Skarga with the promise
of having it announced in the Messenger of the Sacred Heart, [212]
because he is having great difficulties in this matter. I understood that, in
this case, prayer was more useful than advice.
1343
Third day. In the meditation on death, I prepared myself as if for real death.
I examined my conscience and searched all my affairs at the approach of death
and, thanks be to grace, my affairs were directed toward that ultimate goal.
This filled my heart with great gratitude to God, and I resolved to serve my
God even more faithfully in the future. One thing alone is necessary: to put my
old self to death and to begin a new life. In the morning, I prepared to
receive Holy Communion as if it were to be the last in my life, and after Holy
Communion I brought before my imagination my actual death, and I said the
prayers for the dying and then the De Profundis for my own soul. My body was
lowered into the grave, and I said to my soul, "See what has become of
your body, a heap of dirt teeming with vermin-that is your inheritance."
1720
There are moments when Jesus gives me knowledge within my soul, and then
everything that exists on earth is at my service: friends, enemies, success,
adversity... all things, willing or not, must serve me. I do not think of them
at all; I strive to be faithful to God and to love Him to the point of complete
forgetfulness of self. And He Himself looks after me and fights against my
enemies.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-36, 41, 50, 57, 69-70,
77, 91, 96-98)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-163, 195, 208, 210, 223-224, 245)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-248, 287, 297-300, 458
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-525, 543, 573, 634, 764, 929, 948)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-1000)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1029)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1286, 1290)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1343)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1720 )
