A
Decisive Response
|
|
November 30, 2015 - Feast of Saint Andrew, apostle
|
|
By
Father Edward Hopkins, LC
Matthew
4:18-22
As Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter, and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea; they were fishermen. He said to them, "Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. He walked along from there and saw two other brothers, James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They were in a boat, with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.
Introductory Prayer: Dear Jesus, I believe
that You have called me to follow You more closely today. I trust that in
this prayer, You will help me see the concrete implications of following Your
will. I love You and want to respond to all that You ask of me, today and
always. Thank You for watching over me and guiding me home to heaven.
Petition: Make me a fisher of men, here
and now, Lord!
1. As Jesus Walked By: One
summer afternoon a priest just happened to be in the area and visited my home.
Within three years, two of my brothers and I were following Christ on the
road to the priesthood. Jesus didn’t just happen to walk by these two pairs
of brothers! He had every intention of inviting those brothers to become
“fishers of men.” How much happens in my life, prepared and intended by God,
to help me follow him more closely? And all I see is an accident, a
coincidence? Ask him when was the last time he just happened by.
2. At Once They Followed Him: Jesus
never calls someone when it’s perfectly convenient, when that person has
nothing better to do. No, he calls precisely when we are in the middle of
living our life, doing what we do best, what we do most, “casting or mending
our nets.” “What a losing formula!” we are tempted to conclude. Yet what is
it he really wants of us when he calls? He wants a response -- a reply of
love. Love is all about preference and priority. If I love him more than
myself, I can follow him “at once.” If I prefer him over my own activities
and life, I can follow him “immediately.” What is the response of love I am
giving or want to give Jesus today in my life?
3. They Left Something Behind: “Pro-choice:”
That’s what God is! He wants us to choose. But he is not indifferent about
what we choose. Every choice implies the rejection of other options. We
cannot follow someone somewhere without leaving something and someone else
behind. Peter and Andrew left their nets behind. James and John left their
boat and their father behind. This was possible only with Jesus before them.
Yet we, too, often try to follow Christ without leaving things and others
behind: the world, comforts, my preferences... We think that we can have it
all. We can’t. We are in danger of “taming our faith,” bending to the demands
of our passions and the world’s insistence. Love requires a choice, a choice
for the real, complete Jesus. It asks me to reject everything in me that is
not him. How wholehearted is my following of Christ?
Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, You have called me and continue to call me throughout this day. Help me to respond with love, a love that trumps all my other loves, likes and desires. I don’t want You to have to wait for me, Lord. Just show me what You want and give me the courage and generosity to give it to You, no matter the cost.
Resolution: I will give up something
today that diminishes the attention that I give to my spouse, family or friends
.
Excerpts from
the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
19
I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I
entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do
with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray
fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence
everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts
enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the
moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the
cell after nine without permission. [8]
After
a while a brightness filled my cell, and on the curtain I saw the very
sorrowful Face of Jesus. There were open wounds on His Face, and large tears were
falling on my bedspread. Not knowing what all this meant, I asked Jesus,
“Jesus who has hurt You so?” And Jesus said to me, It is you who will cause
Me this pain if you leave this convent. It is to this place that I called you
and nowhere else; and I have prepared many graces for you. I begged pardon of
Jesus and immediately changed my decision.
The
next day was confession day. I related all that had taken place in my soul,
and the confessor answered that, from this, God's will is clear that I am to remain
in this congregation and that I'm not even to think of another religious
order. From that moment on, I have always felt happy and content.
64
When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who had gone for
her third probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a
little longer than two months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene[34]],
wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me permission to go, together with
another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk the paths," as they say. I
was delighted. Although it was not very far, it was Mother Superior's wish
that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said to me, I want you to stay
home. I answered, "Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow
morning; what am I to do now?" The Lord answered, This trip will be
harmful to your soul. I replied to Jesus, "You can find a way out.
Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be done." At that moment
the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and went
to my cell.
Next
morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at
the prospect of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see
everything. But as for me, I was sure we would not go, even though there were
no obstacles so far.
We
were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right after the
thanksgiving. But during the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather
changed. Clouds covered the sky, and the rain came down in torrents. Everyone
was astounded at such a sudden change in the weather.
Mother
Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!" I
answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it
was God's will that we stay home." However, no one knew that it was
Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the whole day in recollection
and meditation, thanking the Lord for having kept me home. That day, God
granted me many heavenly consolations.
75
But these doubts always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close
myself up more and more within myself. When, during confession, I sense
uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths,
but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself
will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.
O
priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness
never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I
uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170
The first day of the retreat. I tried to be the first in the chapel in the
morning; before the meditation I had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy
Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of God to obtain for me
the grace of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of faithfully carrying
out God's will, whatever it might be. I began this retreat with a very
special kind of courage.
279
God made known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about
how, in practice, to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in
carrying out God's will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions,
even the least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My
child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your
mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want
the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My
daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God
and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309
Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most
Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One
Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make
a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those
souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my
accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and
terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the
consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I
offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances,
mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice,
because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends
to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all
hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion
forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the
strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this
act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself
have taught me, Jesus:
"O
Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of
Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S.
M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March
29, 1934.
354
As I was talking to a certain person[84] who was to paint the image but, for
certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice in my soul: I want
her to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no matter how great,
are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am
speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know Your will in
the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes from
morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our superiors
through whom God speaks.
395
[February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my
dying mother.
When
I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she had
asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a
host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves
its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God
and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in my
heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name day, February
fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family and granted me
permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of my
dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary preparations for the
journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for my
seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of
the merits of her suffering.
435
As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I heard these words: By your
entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain mercy for yourselves and for
the world. I understood that I would not remain in the Congregation in which
I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was
otherwise. But 1 kept making excuses before God, telling Him that I was
unable to carry out this task. "Jesus, You know very well what I
am" [I said], and I started enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord,
hiding behind them so that He would agree that I was unable to carry out His
plans. Then I heard these words: Do not fear; I myself will make up for
everything that is lacking in you. But these words penetrated me to my depths
and made me even more aware of my misery, and I understood that the word of
the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the very depths. I understood
that God demands a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my
incompetence as an excuse.
439
Then came the moment to receive Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I
saw a great brightness. Then I heard these words: We give Our blessing, and
at that moment a bright ray issued from that light and pierced my heart; an
extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I thought I would die of joy and
happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit from my body. I felt totally
immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty, like a particle of
dust, into unknown expanses.
Trembling
with joy in the embrace of the Creator, I felt He himself was supporting me
so that I could bear this great happiness and gaze at His Majesty. I know now
that, if He himself had not first strengthened me by His grace, my soul would
not have been able to bear the happiness, and I would have died in an
instant. Holy Mass came to an end I know not when, for it was beyond my power
to pay attention to what was going on in the chapel. But when I recovered my
senses, I felt the strength and courage to do God's will; nothing seemed
difficult to me; and whereas I had previously been making excuses to the
Lord, I now felt the Lord's courage and strength within me, and I said to the
Lord, "I am ready for every beck and call of Your will!"
Interiorly, I had gone through everything that I war going to experience in
the future.
444
The priest spoke these profound words to me, "There are three degrees in
the accomplishment of God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules
and statutes pertaining to external observance; in the second degree, the
soul accepts interior inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the
third degree, the soul, abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose
of it freely, and God does with it as He pleases, and it is a docile tool in
His hands." And the priest said that I was at the second degree in the
accomplishment of God's will and that I had not yet reached the third degree,
but that I should strive to attain it. These words pierced my soul. I see
clearly that God often gives the priest knowledge of what is going on in the
depths of my soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that
He has such chosen persons.
477
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never
attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off everything that would like
to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words and quickly want to answer
back, without taking any regard as to whether it is God's will that we should
speak. A silent soul is strong; no adversities will harm it if it perseveres
in silence. The silent soul is capable of attaining the closest union with
God. It lives almost always under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God
works in a silent soul without hindrance.
479
My second confession to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]. "Know, my
daughter, that if this is the will of God, it will take place sooner or
later, for God's will must be done. Love God in your heart, have..." (
unfinished thought].
506 "Do nothing without the consent of the
superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must
be very careful about these things because, in your present situation,
Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact bound to
this Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there should be no
doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings
of a project. God can make some alterations, but such things are very rare.
Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more precise knowledge.
The works of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely
recognize them clearly. If they are not, they will disappear; and you, by
being obedient, will not go astray. Speak frankly about everything to your
confessor and obey him blindly.
"For
the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the
suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all
things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and
so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign.
If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error.
Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite
that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything.
You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I
do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which
are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of
souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You
have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's
will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do
and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might
be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you,
`Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least
in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all
times, be most faithful to God."
515
In the evening, when I was walking in the garden saying my rosary and came to
the cemetery,[102] I opened the gate a little and began to pray for a while,
and I asked them interiorly, "You are very happy are you not?" Then
I heard the words, "We are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled
God's will"-and then silence as before. I became introspective and
reflected for a long time on how I am fulfilling God's will and how I am
profiting from the time that God has given me.
518
+ Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was
locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said, "If you need
something, my dear little souls, I will be glad to help you to the extent
that the rule permits me." I then heard these words, "Do the will
of God; we are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled God's will."
527
On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is
demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my
soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough
omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary
strength, and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's
will seemed as nothing to me.
585
January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told
him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that
there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for
the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me.
The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my
permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for
the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume
that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention.
But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things
may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but
there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it
be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many
different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so
wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a
close union with God and do not lose heart." These words filled me with
great joy.
615
March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge
to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the
things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to say that I do not
understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord
is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that I do not have
the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would be the
greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord
wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great
number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to
realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to
resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it
persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery,
friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing
now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hellnothing
will deter me from doing the will of God.
I
am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me
the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of
fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists
this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a
great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry
out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from
me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will
be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with
full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O
merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which
You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the
roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My
God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter
whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving
me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my
Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the
other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I
continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength
declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother
Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in
appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep
longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a
motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of
spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not
bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and
the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to
act.
666
I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing
God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there
is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God
wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God.
Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer,
who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace
entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great
difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O
Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to
know it, O God.
667
July 14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]]. O
Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say
anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort
me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I
am living now on what I will live on in eternity.I have great reverence for
Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of
God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
713
October 11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and
its great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and
fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little
frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my
little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I
did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is
terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on
writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God's
willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly and
with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment,
and this composure of mine makes him furious.
830
O Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my
will that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light
dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I
trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in
accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do Your
will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all things. O
Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894
Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy
Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in
agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister,
that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any
kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that
the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss
Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the
Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I
became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord,
who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single
act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is
to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do
is pleasing to God!
924
Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the
bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of
self, and it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and
that is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
937
+ I will say a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or
Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few priests who know
how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can make
constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of
lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a
secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does
not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul
notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and
does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids
the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little stones, there
rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul
notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects
them and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse still,
will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going
forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation
only when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious
question poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the
confessor; that is to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame
should be put on the imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have
taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The director could well have
led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity.
938
The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and
should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it.
What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner
will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He
himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning
the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just
as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers
and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently
for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And
let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had
prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before
choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to
discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose
another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this
change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this:
to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then,
without doubt, he will never attain it.
956
+ After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say,
I now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly
Father's special affection.
981
I understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have
undergone in submission to God's will in order to know it better have
advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years
now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am
bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And
on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner
torture is so great that no one will either understand or imagine these
spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up my
life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not even
going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what it is
like to know God's will directly and at the same time to be perfectly
obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors.
Thanks be to God that He has given me a director; otherwise, I would not have
advanced one single step.
1004
O will of the Omnipotent God,
You
are my delight,
You
are my joy.
Whatever
the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I
will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your
holy will is my repose;
In
it is contained all my sanctity,
And
all my eternal salvation,
For
doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The
will of God-those are His various wishes
Which
my soul carries out without reserve,
Because
such are His divine desires,
In
those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do
with me as You will, Lord.
I
place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For
You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And
to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
+
J.M.J. Cracow, March 1, 1937. + Third Notebook God and Souls.
1088
Sudden return of health.
After
I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly
became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear
sign of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed.
The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a
few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091
Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health.
I
neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that
I am enjoying good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I
asked for this health as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek
relief from my suffering.
1101
In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I
shall speak to you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza [191]]
so that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the first
meditation my soul was struck by the following words of the priest: I must
not oppose God's will and God's designs, whatever they might be; and as soon
as 1 am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I
have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever
the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out.
This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself
on my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants of me,
and what I ought to do.
August
15, 1937. Father Andrasz's instructions.
1243
"These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's wretchedness, which
God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can do by itself.
They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's graces. Secondly,
faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as
in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be absolutely
obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time, the
matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a little
bitter truth is necessary."
At
the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with
Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the
Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the
attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the
Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and
desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort
of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an
account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of
the Most Holy Mother."
1244
August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I
was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards
the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the
Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of
your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation
with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to
herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were
at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till
death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire
that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and
meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend
that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in
His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this
faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all
sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a
deep understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1276
September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a Holy Hour before the Blessed
Sacrament today, but God's will was otherwise. At eight o'clock I was seized
with such violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I was convulsed with
pain for three hours; that is, until eleven o'clock at night. No medicine had
any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains
caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I took
part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He himself allowed these sufferings
in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in the wombs of
wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three times now. They
always start at eight o'clock in the evening and last until eleven. No
medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes, they cease
by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel
very weak.
This
happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors
couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at
all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told
the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings,
and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I
understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this
known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again,
I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I
leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission
and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these
sufferings!
1301
It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning
this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's
wishes, although it was not until two years after the revelation that she
became my superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me
when the painting of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when some
things concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy cards
are being printed, again it is she who is going with me [to take care of]
this matter. God has ordained all this in a mysterious way, because this was
begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has so directed the circumstances that
this matter is being continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior
is to God; I see how God is directing everything and wants me to be under her
protection during these important times.... Thank You, Lord, for such
superiors, who live in the love and fear of God. That is why I pray for her
most of all, because she has put herself out the most for the sake of this
work of Divine Mercy....
1389
O my Jesus, although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them
slowly, and this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my
Jesus, You give me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them
to other souls. Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment of
apparent absolute destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by
anything, will begin. Such is the will of God in this, and it will not
change; although many persons will oppose it, nothing will change God's will.*
1431
Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of
the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times,
as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there
draw strength to accept God's will. That which I have written is not yet
everything.
1525
One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me
that she could no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please
pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The
Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the grace, but that she would
once again be dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on praying
as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking for me,
and when we again began to talk about the same thing, I told her, "You
know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord God to give us what
we want, but we should rather submit to His holy will." But she thought
that what she was asking for was indispensable. Towards the end of the
novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister, the Lord Jesus has
given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please pray so that
things will somehow be different again." I answered, "Yes, I will
pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not what you
want."
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-19, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354, 395, 435)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-439, 444, 477, 479, 506, 515, 518)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 666-667, 713, 830, 894)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-924, 937-938, 956, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244,
1276, 1301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1525)
|
|
|
Nobyembre 30, 2015
A Decisive Response-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
Nobyembre 29, 2015
Make Ready, the Lord is Coming-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
Make
Ready, the Lord is Coming
Sunday, 1st week of
Advent
Matthew Reinhardt,
Consecrated Member of Regnum Christi
Luke
21:25-28, 34-36
Jesus
said to his disciples: "There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the
stars, and on earth nations will be in dismay, perplexed by the roaring of the
sea and the waves. People will die of fright in anticipation of what is coming
upon the world, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. And then they
will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. But when
these signs begin to happen, stand erect and raise your heads because your
redemption is at hand. Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy from
carousing and drunkenness and the anxieties of daily life, and that day catch
you by surprise like a trap. For that day will assault everyone who lives on
the face of the earth. Be vigilant at all times and pray that you have the
strength to escape the tribulations that are imminent and to stand before the
Son of Man."
Introductory
Prayer: Heavenly
Father, I gladly spend a few minutes with you, to be close to you, because you
know how much I need your presence and grace in my life. You deserve to be the
center of my thoughts and desires; but often I let myself be taken up by the
anxieties of daily life. Sorry Lord, but at least here I am right now, hungry
for you alone. Today, Lord, I accompany the whole Church as we begin the Advent
Season and begin to prepare for your coming to earth as a baby on Christmas
morning.
Petition: Lord, prepare my
heart for your coming at Christmas.
1. The
World Then and Now : When
Christ came to earth 2,000 years ago he encountered a world similar to the one
we live in: far from God and full of anxiety. The lives of many people of
Christ’s time were devoid of meaning because God had not yet sent his Son into
the world. Today, as then, our world often lives as if Christ had never come to
earth. But hope is not lost. Christ is
our hope! Is my life full of meaning rooted in Christ’s saving message, or do I
permit worries and selfish desires to choke my spirit?
2.
Christ Is Coming : Advent
and Christmas are all about Christ coming to earth to give us hope. On that
cold, quiet, star-filled winter’s night in a little, poor cave in Bethlehem,
God was born into our world. The Almighty came into the world as a small, poor,
innocent baby adored only by his mother and father and some animals. Yes, this
child is the reason for our hope, infinite hope, because he is an infinite God
making an infinite act of love for us. To permit my soul to be filled with this
quiet, gentle hope, what noise within my heart first needs to be shut off?
3. A
Heart Checkup: Surprises
can be pleasant, like an unexpected birthday party or a successful close on a
big business deal. But they can also be unpleasant, like the pop quiz given at
school or a sudden car accident. Will Christmas take me by surprise this year?
The good news is that I know that he is coming: less than a month away. Christ
tells us, “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy and thus allow that day
to catch you by surprise.” Advent is a time to wake up to Christ in our life.
We need to prepare our hearts for his coming on Christmas morning so that he
can be received by us with warmth and joy. Christ is the reason for the season!
Conversation
with Christ: Lord,
help me during this Advent Season, which begins today, to see that the priority
in my life is preparing myself and those around me for a truly “spiritual”
Christmas. I know it is a busy time of year. Help me remain focused on what is
essential -- you being born into our hearts.
Resolution: I will begin some
form of daily Advent reminder for myself and those I live with so we can
prepare our hearts for Christmas: Advent wreath, Advent calendar, Jesse Tree
etc.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I
stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His
Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five, those in His
hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete condition of my soul
as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to God. I did not
know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for. What
a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked
me, Who are you? I answered, "I am Your servant, Lord." You
are guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself
immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which
do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory or for a short while on
earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want to
suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end of the
world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back
to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish
My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do
this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength
and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help
nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but
don't let this frighten you; I am with you
83 Write this: before I come as the just Judge, I am
coming first as the King of Mercy. Before the day of justice arrives, there
will be given to people a sign in the heavens of this sort: All light in the
heavens will be extinguished, and there will be great darkness over the whole earth.
Then the sign of the cross will be seen in the sky, and from the openings where
the hands and the feet of the Savior were nailed will come forth great lights
which will light up the earth for a period of time. This will take place
shortly before the last day.
112 +A few words about confession and confessors. I shall
speak only of what I have experienced and gone through within my own soul.
There are three things which hinder the soul from drawing profit from
confession in these exceptional moments.
The first thing: when the confessor has little knowledge of extraordinary ways and shows surprise if a soul discloses to him the great mysteries worked in it by God. Such surprise frightens a sensitive soul, and it notices that the confessor hesitates to give his opinion; and if it does notice this, it will not be set at peace, but will have even more doubts after confession than before, because it will sense that the confessor is trying to set it at peace while he himself is uncertain. Or else, as has happened to me, a confessor, unable to penetrate some of the soul's mysteries, refuses to hear the confession, showing a certain fear when the soul approaches the confessional.
How can a soul in this state obtain peace in the confessional when it has become so oversensitive to every word of the priest? In my opinion, at times of such special trials sent by God to a soul, the priest, if he does not understand the soul, should direct it to some other experienced and well-instructed confessor. Or else he himself should seek light in order to give the soul what it needs, instead of downrightly denying it confession. For in this way he is exposing the soul to a great danger; and more than one soul may well leave the road along which God wanted it to journey. This is a matter of great importance, for I have experienced it myself. I myself began to waver; despite special gifts from God, and even though God himself reassured me, I have nevertheless always wanted to have the Church's seal as well.
The second thing: the confessor does not allow the soul to express itself frankly, and shows impatience. The soul then falls silent and does not say everything [it has to say] and, by this, profits nothing. It profits even less when the confessor, without really knowing the soul, proceeds to put it to the test. Instead of helping the soul, he does it harm. The soul is aware that the confessor does not know it, because he did not allow it to lay itself open fully as regards both its graces and its misery. And so the test is ill-adapted. I have been submitted to some tests at which I have had to laugh.
I will express this better thus: The confessor is the doctor of the soul, but how can a doctor prescribe a suitable remedy if he does not know the nature of the sickness? Never will he be able to do so. For either the remedy will not produce the desired effect, or else it will be too strong and will aggravate the illness, and sometimes-God forbid-even bring about death. I am speaking from my own experience because, in certain instances, it was the Lord himself who directly sustained me.
The third thing: it also happens sometimes that the confessor makes light of little things. There is nothing little in the spiritual life. Sometimes a seemingly insignificant thing will disclose a matter of great consequence and will be for the confessor a beam of light which helps him to get to know the soul. Many spiritual undertones are concealed in little things.
A magnificent building will never rise if we reject the insignificant bricks. God demands great purity of certain souls, and so He gives them a deeper knowledge of their own misery. Illuminated by light from on high, the soul can better know what pleases God and what does not. Sin depends upon the degree of knowledge and light that exists within the soul. The same is true of imperfections. Although the soul knows that it is only sin in the strict sense of the term which pertains to the sacrament of penance, yet these petty things are of great importance to a soul which is tending to sanctity, and the confessor must not treat them lightly. The patience and kindness of the confessor open the way to the innermost secrets of the soul. The soul, unconsciously as it were, reveals its abysmal depth and feels stronger and more resistant; it fights with greater courage and tries to do things better because it knows it must give an account of them.
I will mention one more thing regarding the confessor. It is his duty to occasionally put to the test, to try, to exercise, to learn whether he is dealing with straw, with iron or with pure gold. Each of these three types of souls needs different kinds of training. The confessor must-and this is absolutely necessary-form a clear judgment of each soul in order to know how heavy a burden it can carry at certain times, in certain circumstances, or in particular situations. As for myself, it was only later on, after many [negative] experiences, that, when I saw that I was not understood, I no longer laid bare my soul or allowed my peace to be disturbed. But this happened only when all these graces had already been submitted to the judgement of a wise, well-instructed and experienced confessor. Now I know what to go by in certain cases.
The first thing: when the confessor has little knowledge of extraordinary ways and shows surprise if a soul discloses to him the great mysteries worked in it by God. Such surprise frightens a sensitive soul, and it notices that the confessor hesitates to give his opinion; and if it does notice this, it will not be set at peace, but will have even more doubts after confession than before, because it will sense that the confessor is trying to set it at peace while he himself is uncertain. Or else, as has happened to me, a confessor, unable to penetrate some of the soul's mysteries, refuses to hear the confession, showing a certain fear when the soul approaches the confessional.
How can a soul in this state obtain peace in the confessional when it has become so oversensitive to every word of the priest? In my opinion, at times of such special trials sent by God to a soul, the priest, if he does not understand the soul, should direct it to some other experienced and well-instructed confessor. Or else he himself should seek light in order to give the soul what it needs, instead of downrightly denying it confession. For in this way he is exposing the soul to a great danger; and more than one soul may well leave the road along which God wanted it to journey. This is a matter of great importance, for I have experienced it myself. I myself began to waver; despite special gifts from God, and even though God himself reassured me, I have nevertheless always wanted to have the Church's seal as well.
The second thing: the confessor does not allow the soul to express itself frankly, and shows impatience. The soul then falls silent and does not say everything [it has to say] and, by this, profits nothing. It profits even less when the confessor, without really knowing the soul, proceeds to put it to the test. Instead of helping the soul, he does it harm. The soul is aware that the confessor does not know it, because he did not allow it to lay itself open fully as regards both its graces and its misery. And so the test is ill-adapted. I have been submitted to some tests at which I have had to laugh.
I will express this better thus: The confessor is the doctor of the soul, but how can a doctor prescribe a suitable remedy if he does not know the nature of the sickness? Never will he be able to do so. For either the remedy will not produce the desired effect, or else it will be too strong and will aggravate the illness, and sometimes-God forbid-even bring about death. I am speaking from my own experience because, in certain instances, it was the Lord himself who directly sustained me.
The third thing: it also happens sometimes that the confessor makes light of little things. There is nothing little in the spiritual life. Sometimes a seemingly insignificant thing will disclose a matter of great consequence and will be for the confessor a beam of light which helps him to get to know the soul. Many spiritual undertones are concealed in little things.
A magnificent building will never rise if we reject the insignificant bricks. God demands great purity of certain souls, and so He gives them a deeper knowledge of their own misery. Illuminated by light from on high, the soul can better know what pleases God and what does not. Sin depends upon the degree of knowledge and light that exists within the soul. The same is true of imperfections. Although the soul knows that it is only sin in the strict sense of the term which pertains to the sacrament of penance, yet these petty things are of great importance to a soul which is tending to sanctity, and the confessor must not treat them lightly. The patience and kindness of the confessor open the way to the innermost secrets of the soul. The soul, unconsciously as it were, reveals its abysmal depth and feels stronger and more resistant; it fights with greater courage and tries to do things better because it knows it must give an account of them.
I will mention one more thing regarding the confessor. It is his duty to occasionally put to the test, to try, to exercise, to learn whether he is dealing with straw, with iron or with pure gold. Each of these three types of souls needs different kinds of training. The confessor must-and this is absolutely necessary-form a clear judgment of each soul in order to know how heavy a burden it can carry at certain times, in certain circumstances, or in particular situations. As for myself, it was only later on, after many [negative] experiences, that, when I saw that I was not understood, I no longer laid bare my soul or allowed my peace to be disturbed. But this happened only when all these graces had already been submitted to the judgement of a wise, well-instructed and experienced confessor. Now I know what to go by in certain cases.
145 Oh, how wretched my soul is for having wasted so many
graces! I was running away from God, and He pursued me with his graces. I most
often experienced God's graces when I least expected them. From the moment He
gave me a spiritual director, I have been more faithful to grace. Thanks to the
director and his watchfulness over my soul, I have learned what guidance means
and how Jesus looks at it. Jesus warned me of the least fault and stressed that
He himself judges the matter that I present to my confessor; and [He told me]
that ... any transgressions against the confessor touch Me myself.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
282 Once the Lord said to me, My Heart was moved by great
mercy towards you, My dearest child, when I saw you torn to shreds because of
the great pain you suffered in repenting for your sins. I see your love, so
pure and true that I give you first place among the virgins. You are the honor
and glory of My Passion. I see every abasement of your soul, and nothing
escapes my attention. I lift up the humble even to my very throne, because I
want it so.
374 J.M.J Vilnius, Februrary 4, 1935
[page in the Dairy with the words "From today on my will does not exist" crossed out with a large 'X']
The moment I knelt down to cross out my own will, as the Lord had bid me to do, I heard this voice in my soul:From today on, do not fear God's judgment, for you will not be judged
[The next page has...]
J.M.J Vilnius, February 4, 1935
From today on, I do the Will of God everywhere, always, and in everything.[88]
[page in the Dairy with the words "From today on my will does not exist" crossed out with a large 'X']
The moment I knelt down to cross out my own will, as the Lord had bid me to do, I heard this voice in my soul:From today on, do not fear God's judgment, for you will not be judged
[The next page has...]
J.M.J Vilnius, February 4, 1935
From today on, I do the Will of God everywhere, always, and in everything.[88]
378 Once as I was talking with my spiritual director, I had
an interior vision-quicker than lightning-of his soul in great suffering, in
such agony that God touches very few souls with such fire. The suffering arises
from this work. There will come a time when this work, which God is demanding
so very much, will be as though utterly undone. And then God will act with
great power, which will give evidence of its authenticity. It will be a new
splendor for the Church, although it has been dormant in it from long ago. That
God is infinitely merciful, no one can deny. He desires everyone to know this
before He comes again as Judge. He wants souls to come to know Him first as
King of Mercy. When this triumph comes, we shall already have entered the new
life in which there is no suffering. But before this, your soul [of the
spiritual director] will be surfeited with bitterness at the sight of the
destruction of your efforts. However, this will only appear to be so, because
what God has once decided upon, He does not change. But although this
destruction will be such only in outward appearance, the suffering will be
real. When will this happen? I do not know. How long will it last? I do not
know.[89] But God has promised a great grace especially to you
and to all those... who will proclaim My great mercy. I shall protect them
Myself at the hour of death, as My own glory. And even if the sins of soul are
as dark as night, when the sinner turns to My mercy he gives Me the greatest
praise and is the glory of My Passion. When a soul praises My goodness, Satan
trembles before it and flees to the very bottom of hell.
423 Praise the Lord, my soul, for everything, and glorify His
mercy, for His goodness is without end. Everything will pass, but His mercy is
without limit or end. And although evil will attain its measure, in mercy there
is no measure.
O my God, even in the punishments You send down upon the earth I see the abyss of Your mercy, for by punishing us here on earth You free us from eternal punishment. Rejoice, all you creatures, for you are closer to God in His infinite mercy than a baby to its mother's heart. O God, You are compassion itself for the greatest sinners who sincerely repent. The greater the sinner, the greater his right to God's mercy.
O my God, even in the punishments You send down upon the earth I see the abyss of Your mercy, for by punishing us here on earth You free us from eternal punishment. Rejoice, all you creatures, for you are closer to God in His infinite mercy than a baby to its mother's heart. O God, You are compassion itself for the greatest sinners who sincerely repent. The greater the sinner, the greater his right to God's mercy.
496 Confession Day. From early morning, the turmoil in my
soul was more violent than anything I had ever experienced before. Complete
abandonment by God; I felt the utter weakness that I was. Thoughts bore in upon
me: why should I leave this convent where I am loved by the sisters and
superiors, where life is so tranquil; [where I am] bound by perpetual vows and
carry out my duties without difficulty; why should I listen to the voice of my
conscience; why follow an inspiration coming from who knows where; wouldn't it
be better to carry on like all the other sisters? Perhaps the Lord's words
could be stifled, not taken heed of; maybe God will not demand an account of
them on the day of judgment. Where will this inner voice lead me? If I follow
it, what tremendous difficulties, tribulations and adversities are in store for
me. I fear the future, and I am agonizing in the present.
This suffering continued with the same intensity throughout the whole day. When, in the evening, my turn came for confession, I could not make a full confession, even though I had been preparing for a long time. I received absolution and left, not knowing what was going on within me. When I went to bed, the suffering grew even worse; or rather, it changed into a fire which penetrated all the faculties of my soul like lightning, piercing me to the marrow, and to the most secret recesses of my heart. In the midst of this suffering, I was unable to bring myself to do anything. "Your will be done, Lord." At times I could not even think these words. Truly, a deadly fear had taken hold of me, and the flames of hell were touching me. Toward morning, silence set in, and my tribulations disappeared in the twinkling of an eye, but I felt so frightfully exhausted that I could not even move. During my conversation with Mother Superior, my strength returned bit by bit, but God alone knows how I felt throughout that whole day.
This suffering continued with the same intensity throughout the whole day. When, in the evening, my turn came for confession, I could not make a full confession, even though I had been preparing for a long time. I received absolution and left, not knowing what was going on within me. When I went to bed, the suffering grew even worse; or rather, it changed into a fire which penetrated all the faculties of my soul like lightning, piercing me to the marrow, and to the most secret recesses of my heart. In the midst of this suffering, I was unable to bring myself to do anything. "Your will be done, Lord." At times I could not even think these words. Truly, a deadly fear had taken hold of me, and the flames of hell were touching me. Toward morning, silence set in, and my tribulations disappeared in the twinkling of an eye, but I felt so frightfully exhausted that I could not even move. During my conversation with Mother Superior, my strength returned bit by bit, but God alone knows how I felt throughout that whole day.
566 One day, after Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Infant
Jesus standing by my kneeler and holding on to it with His two little hands.
Although He was but a little Child, my soul was filled with awe and fear, for I
see in Him my Judge, my Lord, and my Creator, before whose holiness the Angels
tremble. At the same time, my soul was flooded with such unspeakable love that
I thought I would die under its influence. I now see that Jesus first
strengthens my soul and makes it capable of abiding with Him, for otherwise I
would not be able to bear what I experience at such a moment.
660 O my Jesus, on the day of the last judgment, You will
demand from me an account of this work of mercy. O just Judge, but my Spouse as
well, help me to do Your holy will. O mercy, O divine virtue!
O most merciful Heart of Jesus, my Betrothed, make my heart like unto Yours.
O most merciful Heart of Jesus, my Betrothed, make my heart like unto Yours.
717 All night long, I was preparing to receive Holy
Communion, since I could not sleep because of physical suffering. My soul was
flooded with love and repentance.
852 Today the Lord's gaze shot through me suddenly, like
lightning. At once, I came to know the tiniest specks in my soul, and knowing
the depths of my misery, I fell to my knees and begged the Lord's pardon, and
with great trust I immersed myself in His infinite mercy. Such knowledge does not
depress me nor keep me away from the Lord, but rather it arouses in my soul
greater love and boundless trust. The repentance of my heart is linked to love.
These extraordinary flashes from the Lord educate my soul. O sweet rays of God,
enlighten me to the most secret depth, for I want to arrive at the greatest
possible purity of heart and soul.
854 December 29, [1936]. Today after Holy Communion, I heard
a voice in my soul: My daughter, stand ready, for I will come unexpectedly. Jesus,
You do not want to tell me the hour I am looking forward to with such longing?
My daughter, it is for your own good. You will learn it, but not now; keep
watch. O Jesus, do with me as You please. I know You are the merciful
Savior and You will not change towards me at the hour of my death. If at this
time you are showing me so much special love, and are condescending to unite
Yourself with me is such an intimate way and with such great kindness, I expect
even more at the hour of my death. You, my Lord-God, cannot change. You are
always the same. Heaven can change, as well as everything that is created; but
You, Lord, are ever the same and will endure forever. So come as You like and
when You like. Father of infinite mercy, I, Your child, wait longingly for Your
coming. O Jesus, You said in the Holy Gospel, "Out of your mouth do I
judge you." Well, Jesus, I am always speaking of Your inconceivable mercy,
so I trust that You will judge me according to Your unfathomable mercy.
895 January 23, [1937]. I did not feel like writing today.
Then I heard a voice in my soul:My daughter, you do not live for yourself
but for souls; write for their benefit. You know that My will as to your
writing has been confirmed many times by your confessors. You know what is
pleasing to Me, and if you have any doubts about what I am saying, you also
know whom you are to ask. I grant him light to pronounce judgment on my case.
My eye watches over him. My daughter, you are to be like a child towards him,
full of simplicity and candor. Put his judgment above all My demands. He will
guide you according to My will. If he doesn't allow you to carry out My
demands, be at peace; I will not judge you, but the matter will remain between
Me and him. You are to be obedient.
934 Small practices for Lent. Although I wish and desire to
do so, I cannot practice big mortifications as before, because I am under the
strict surveillance of the doctor. But I can practice little things:
first-sleep without a pillow; keep myself a little hungry; every day, with my
arms outstretched, say the chaplet which the Lord taught me; occasionally, with
arms outstretched, for an indefinite period of time pray informally. Intention:
to beg divine mercy for poor sinners, and for priests, the power to bring
sinful hearts to repentance.
1052 O my Jesus, I beg You on behalf of the whole Church:
Grant it love and the light of Your Spirit, and give power to the words of
priests so that hardened hearts might be brought to repentance and return to
You, O Lord. Lord, give us holy priests; You yourself maintain them in
holiness. O Divine and Great High Priest, may the power of Your mercy accompany
them everywhere and protect them from the devil's traps and snares which are
continually being set for the souls of priests. May the power of Your mercy, O
Lord, shatter and bring to naught all that might tarnish the sanctity of
priests, for You can do all things.
1054 When Jesus was taking leave of me, such great pain
filled my soul that it is impossible to express it. Physical strength left me;
I left the chapel quickly and went to bed. I was oblivious of what was going on
around me. My soul was filled with longing for the Lord, and all the bitterness
of His Divine Heart was imparted to me. This lasted for about three hours. I
asked the Lord to protect me from the eyes of those around me. Although I
wanted to, I could not take any food all day, until evening.
I earnestly desired to spend the whole night with Jesus in the dark prison cell. [184] I prayed until eleven o'clock. At eleven, the Lord said to me, Lie down and take your rest. I have let you experience in three hours what I suffered during the whole night. And immediately I went to bed.
I had no physical strength left; the suffering had deprived me of it completely. Throughout all this time, I had been in a sort of swoon. Every beat of Jesus' Heart was reflected in my heart and pierced my soul. If these tortures had concerned me only, I would have suffered less; but as I looked at the One whom my heart has loved with all its might and saw that He was suffering, and that I could not bring Him any relief, my heart dissolved in love and bitterness. I was dying with Him, and yet I could not die. But I would not have exchanged that martyrdom for all the pleasures in the whole world. In the course of this suffering, my love grew immeasurably. I know that the Lord was supporting me with His omnipotence, for otherwise I would not have been able to endure it for even a moment. Together with Him, I underwent, in a special way, all the various tortures. The world still has no idea of all that Jesus suffered. I accompanied Him to the Garden of Gethsemane; I stayed with Him in the prison; I went with Him before the judges; I underwent with Him each of the tortures. Not a single one of His movements or looks escaped my notice. I came to know all the omnipotence of His love and of His mercy toward souls.
I earnestly desired to spend the whole night with Jesus in the dark prison cell. [184] I prayed until eleven o'clock. At eleven, the Lord said to me, Lie down and take your rest. I have let you experience in three hours what I suffered during the whole night. And immediately I went to bed.
I had no physical strength left; the suffering had deprived me of it completely. Throughout all this time, I had been in a sort of swoon. Every beat of Jesus' Heart was reflected in my heart and pierced my soul. If these tortures had concerned me only, I would have suffered less; but as I looked at the One whom my heart has loved with all its might and saw that He was suffering, and that I could not bring Him any relief, my heart dissolved in love and bitterness. I was dying with Him, and yet I could not die. But I would not have exchanged that martyrdom for all the pleasures in the whole world. In the course of this suffering, my love grew immeasurably. I know that the Lord was supporting me with His omnipotence, for otherwise I would not have been able to endure it for even a moment. Together with Him, I underwent, in a special way, all the various tortures. The world still has no idea of all that Jesus suffered. I accompanied Him to the Garden of Gethsemane; I stayed with Him in the prison; I went with Him before the judges; I underwent with Him each of the tortures. Not a single one of His movements or looks escaped my notice. I came to know all the omnipotence of His love and of His mercy toward souls.
1064 + O my most sweet Master, good Jesus, I give You my
heart. You shape and mold it after Your liking. O fathomless love, I open the
calyx of my heart to You, like a rosebud to the freshness of dew. To You alone,
my Betrothed, is known the fragrance of the flower of my heart. Let the
fragrance of my sacrifice be pleasing to You. O Immortal God, my everlasting
delight, already here on earth You are my heaven. May every beat of my heart be
a new hymn of praise to You, O Holy Trinity! Had I as many hearts as there are
drops of water in the ocean or grains of sand in the whole world, I would offer
them all to You, O my Love, O Treasure of my heart! Whomever I shall meet in my
life, no matter who they may be, I want to draw them all to love You, O my
Jesus, my Beauty, my Repose, my sole Master, Judge, Savior and Spouse, all in
one; I know that one title will modify the other-I have entrusted everything to
Your mercy.
1074 When I went for adoration, I heard these words: My
beloved daughter, write down these words, that today My Heart has rested in
this convent [the Cracow house]. Tell the world about My mercy and My
love.
The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!
My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it -with peace.
Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.
The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!
My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it -with peace.
Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.
1075 Souls who spread the honor of My mercy I shield
through their entire lives as a tender mother her infant, and at the hour of
death I will not be a Judge for them, but the Merciful Savior. At that last
hour, a soul has nothing with which to defend itself except My mercy. Happy is
the soul that during its lifetime immersed itself in the Fountain of Mercy,
because justice will have no hold on it.
1076 Write this: Everything that exists is enclosed in
the bowels of My mercy, more deeply than an infant in its mother's womb. How
painfully distrust of My goodness wounds Me! Sins of distrust wound Me most
painfully.
1093 + O Jesus, shield me with Your mercy and also judge me
leniently, or else Your justice may rightly damn me.
1146 [Let] the greatest sinners place their trust in My
mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy. My
daughter, write about My mercy towards tormented souls. Souls that make an
appeal to My mercy delight Me. To such souls I grant even more graces than they
ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My
compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and
inscrutable mercy. Write: before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the
door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass
through the door of My justice...
1158 A member of this group ought to perform at least one
act of mercy a day; at least one, but there can be many more, for such deeds
can easily be carried out by anyone, even the very poorest. For there are three
ways of performing an act of mercy: the merciful word, by forgiving and by
comforting; secondly, if you can offer no word, then pray-that too is mercy;
and thirdly, deeds of mercy. And when the Last Day comes, we shall be judged
from this, and on this basis we shall receive the eternal verdict.
1159 God's floodgates have been opened for us. Let us want
to take advantage of them before the day of God's justice arrives. And that
will be a dreadful day!
1317 I understand Your words, Lord, and the magnitude of the
mercy that ought to shine in my soul. Jesus: I know, My daughter, that you
understand it and that you do everything within your power. But write this for
the many souls who are often worried because they do not have the material
means with which to carry out an act of mercy. Yet spiritual mercy, which
requires neither permissions nor storehouses, is much more meritorious and is
within the grasp of every soul. If a soul does not exercise mercy somehow or
other, it will not obtain My mercy on the day of judgment. Oh, if only souls
knew how to gather eternal treasure for themselves, they would not be judged,
for they would forestall My judgment with their mercy.
1426 Christ, give me souls. Let anything You like happen to
me, but give me souls in return. I want the salvation of souls. I want souls to
know Your mercy. I have nothing left for myself, because I have given
everything away to souls, with the result that on the day of judgment I will
stand before You empty-handed, since I have given everything away to souls.
Thus You will have nothing on which to judge me, and we shall meet on that day:
Love and mercy... + J. M. J.
1515 + I spent this whole night with
Jesus in the dark dungeon. This was a night of adoration. The sisters were
praying in the chapel, and I was uniting myself with them in spirit, because
poor health prevents me from going to the chapel. But all night long I could
not fall asleep, so I spent the night in the dark prison with Jesus. Jesus gave
me to know of the sufferings He experienced there. The world will learn about
them on the day of judgment.
1528 + When I complained to the Lord
Jesus about a certain person [saying], "Jesus, how can this person pass
judgment like that, even about an intention?" the Lord answered, Do not
be surprised. That soul does not even know her own self, so how could she pass
a fair judgment on another soul?
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I- 36, 83, 112, 145, 282, 374, 378)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-423, 496)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-566, 660, 717, 852, 854, 895, 934)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1052, 1054, 1064, 1074-1076, 1093)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1146, 1158-1159)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-IV-1317)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-V-1426, 1515, 1528)