The Millionaire’s Folly
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July 31, 2016. Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary
Time
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Father Patrick Murphy, LC
Luke 12: 13-21
Someone in the crowd
said to Jesus, "Teacher, tell my brother to share the inheritance with
me." He replied to him, "Friend, who appointed me as your judge and
arbitrator?" Then he said to the crowd, "Take care to guard against
all greed, for though one may be rich, one´s life does not consist of
possessions." Then he told them a parable. "There was a rich man
whose land produced a bountiful harvest. He asked himself, ´What shall I do,
for I do not have space to store my harvest?´ And he said, ´This is what I
shall do: I shall tear down my barns and build larger ones. There I shall
store all my grain and other goods and I shall say to myself, "Now as
for you, you have so many good things stored up for many years, rest, eat,
drink, be merry!" But God said to him, ´You fool, this night your life
will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they
belong?´ Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for himself but
is not rich in what matters to God."
Introductory Prayer: Lord Jesus, I believe you want me to have faith in You, faith
that hearkens to Your words without any second guessing. I hope in Your
words, not relying solely on my own strength or reasoning. I love You. You
continue to astonish me by showing me that Your ways are not my ways.
Petition: Lord, may I love you with all my heart, mind, soul and
strength.
1. Guarding Against
Greed “Take care to
guard against all greed.…” Greed arises when our heart loves material things
and possessions in selfish and disordered ways. God created “things” –
material reality – for a purpose: to help us fulfill our mission in this
life. Our heart can grow to love these things and to love accumulating wealth
for its own sake, not for the sake of using it to fulfill our mission and
save our soul.
2. One Heart, One
Love Jesus has
called us to “love the Lord your God with your whole heart, your whole soul,
with all your strength and with all your mind.” But we only have one heart,
one soul, one will and one mind. If I love material wealth in a disordered
way, then my one heart, one soul, etc. will be divided and pulled in many
directions simultaneously. Not only will I not be able to love God with a
total, faithful, focused love, I will not be able to love anyone in this way.
No matter whom I love, my love will always be weakened and diluted by a
divided heart.
3. Late Have I
Loved… “Late have I
loved You, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved You. You were
within me, and I looked outside; I sought you, and miserable as I was, I
longed for creatures, I was detained by the wonderful works of your hands”
(St. Augustine, Confessions). What dilutes my love is disordered affection
for the things God created. Our heart is capable of loving multiple persons
and things (God, parents, children, friends), but only to the degree it is
capable of focusing on one of them. Loving God first is like using a
magnifying glass: The rays of sunlight, like the affection and love we
have for numerous persons and things, are united by the glass and magnified
into a more powerful beam. When we love God first, our love for others and
the world increases in intensity.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, you created my heart to love. Often I
fall in love with the things You created. I can even begin to love them more
than You, to forget that You are their Creator and that You have given them
to me to lead me to You. Help me to love You above them all, and to thank and
bless You in a thousand ways.
Resolution: Today I will take stock of my loves to make sure they don’t
compete with my love for God.
Excerpts from the DIARY of
Saint Faustina Kowalska
57 O my Jesus, You are the life of my life. You know only
too well that I long for nothing but the glory of Your Name and that souls
come to know Your goodness. Why do souls avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand
that. Oh, if I could only cut my heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer
to You, O Jesus, each piece as a heart whole and entire, to make up in part
for the hearts that do not love You! I love You, Jesus, with every drop of my
blood, and I would gladly shed my blood for You to give You a proof of the
sincerity of my love. O God, the more I know You the less I can comprehend You,
but this "non-comprehension" lets me realize how great You are! And
it is this impossibility of comprehending You which enflames my heart anew
for You, O Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on
You, O Jesus, I have been at peace and desired nothing else. I found my
destiny at the moment when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my
love. In comparison with you, everything is nothing. Sufferings, adversities,
humiliations, failures and suspicions that have come my way are splinters
that keep alive the fire of my love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus. Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
62 O life so dull and monotonous,
how many treasures you contain! When I look at everything with the eyes of
faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear. The
grace which is given me in this hour will not be repeated in the next. It may
be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. Time goes on, never to
return again. Whatever is enclosed in it will never change; it seals with a
seal for eternity.
66
O inexhaustible treasure of purity of intention which makes all our actions
perfect and so pleasing to God!
O Jesus, You know how weak I am; be then ever with me; guide my actions and my whole being, You who are my very best Teacher! Truly, Jesus, I become frightened when I look at my own misery, but at the same time I am reassured by Your unfathomable mercy, which exceeds my misery by the measure of all eternity. This disposition of soul clothes me in Your power. O joy that flows from the knowledge of one's self! O unchanging Truth, Your constancy is everlasting!
142 When I was set
at peace and taught how to follow God's paths, my spirit rejoiced in the
Lord, and it seemed to me that I was running, not walking. My wings were
spread for flight; I soared into the very heat of the sun, and I will not
descend until I rest in Him, in whom my soul has lost itself forever. And I
subjected myself totally to the action of grace. God stoops very low to my
soul. I do not draw back, nor do I resist Him, but I lose myself in Him as my
only treasure. I am one with the Lord. It is as if the gulf between us,
Creator and creature, disappears. For a few days, my soul was in a state of
continuous ecstasy. God's presence did not leave me for a single moment. And
my soul remained in a continuous loving union with the Lord. But this in no
way interfered with the performance of my duties. I felt I was transformed
into love; I was all afire, but without being burned up. I lost myself in God
unceasingly; God drew me to himself so strongly and powerfully that sometimes
I was not aware of being on earth. I had impeded and feared God's grace for
so long, and now God himself, through Father Andrasz, has removed all
difficulties. My spirit has been turned towards the Sun and has blossomed in
His rays for Him alone; I understand no more... [The sentence breaks off here
and begins a completely new thought in the next line.]
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank
You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable
me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an
eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration
and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite
myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of
You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of
my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise
Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
294 +Once the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back
away when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more
fervently. You too should not back away and say that you are not worthy of
receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy,
but rejoice all the more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can
carry, for then you will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing:
Take these graces not only for yourself, but also for others; that is,
encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite
mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will
do everything for them.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to love You as
no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore You with every
moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My life is not
drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant flowers, so
that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering or the
rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will not enumerate
these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great thing to know
how to make use of the present moment.
304 +O my Jesus, my
only hope, thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's
eyes. That book is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is
from this book that I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book
there are found for us inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls
understand You in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest
love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to
understand the love of the Heart of Jesus!
338 When I started
to look deep within myself, I did not find any attachment to anything, but as
in all things that concern me, so also in this matter, I was afraid and
distrustful of myself. Tired out by this detailed selfexamination, I went
before the Blessed Sacrament and asked Jesus with all my heart, "Jesus,
my Spouse, Treasure of my heart, You know that I know You alone and that I
have no other love but You; but, Jesus, if I were about to become attached to
anything that is not You, I beg and entreat You, Jesus, by the power of Your
mercy, let instant death descend upon me, for I prefer to die a thousand
times than to be unfaithful to You once in even the smallest thing."
342 Suffering is the
greatest treasure on earth; it purifies the soul. In suffering, we learn who
our true friend is.
343 True love is
measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little
daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal
life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the
hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false
suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying
to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my
plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
415 Saturday. During
Vespers I saw the Lord Jesus radiant as the sun, in a bright garment, and He
said to me, May your heart be joyful. And great joy flooded
me, and I was penetrated with God's presence, which for the soul is a
treasure beyond words.
454 Once, the Lord
said to me, My daughter, take the graces that others spurn; take as
many as you can carry. At that moment, my soul was inundated with
the love of God. I feel that I am united with the Lord so closely that I
cannot find words to express that union; in this state I suddenly feel that
all the things God has, all the goods and treasures, are mine, although I set
little store by them, for He alone is enough for me. In Him I see my
everything; without Him-nothing.
I look for no happiness beyond my own interior where God dwells. I rejoice that God dwells within me; here I abide with Him unendingly; it is here that my greatest intimacy with Him exists; here I dwell with Him in safety; here is a place not probed by the human eye. The Blessed Virgin encourages me to commune with God in this way.
608 February 2,
[1936]. In the morning, when the bell awoke me, I was so overcome by
drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped into cold water, and
after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to meditation a host of
absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I had to struggle
throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during prayer time, but when
Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart. Just then, I saw Our
Lady with the Infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph] standing behind
them. The most holy Mother said to me, Take My Dearest
Treasure, and She handed me the Infant Jesus. When I took the Infant
Jesus in my arms, the Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left
alone with the Infant Jesus.
649 Mass of the
Resurrection. [April 12, 1936]. When I entered the chapel, my spirit was
immersed in God, its only treasure. His presence flooded me.
763 November 22,
[1936]. Today during confession, the Lord Jesus spoke to me through the lips
of a certain priest. This priest did not know my soul, and I only accused
myself of my sins; yet he spoke these words to me: "Accomplish
faithfully everything that Jesus asks of you, despite the difficulties. Know
that, although people may be angry with you, Jesus is not angry and never
will be angry with you. Pay no attention to human opinion." This
instruction surprised me at first; but I understood that the Lord was
speaking through him without his realizing it. O holy mystery, what great
treasures are contained in you! O holy faith, you are my guidepost!
781 O Love, O queen!
Love knows no fear. It passes through all the choirs of angels that stand on
guard before His throne. It will fear no one. It reaches God and is immersed
in Him as in its sole treasure. The Cherubim who guards paradise with flaming
sword, has no power over it. O pure love of God, how great and unequalled you
are! Oh, if souls only knew your power!
801 Today, I still
managed to pay a short visit to the Lord [in the Eucharist] before going to
bed. My spirit was immersed in Him as in its only treasure. My heart rested a
while near the Heart of my Spouse. I received light as to how I should behave
toward those around me, and then I returned to my solitude. The doctor is
taking good care of me; all those around me are very kind to me.
826 This morning I
had an adventure. My watch had stopped, and I did not know when to get up,
and I thought of what a misfortune it would be to miss Holy Communion. It was
still dark, so I had no way of knowing whether it was time to get up. I
dressed, made my meditation and went to the chapel, but everything was still
locked, and silence reigned everywhere. I steeped myself in prayer,
especially for the sick. I now see how much the sick have need of prayer.
Finally, the chapel was opened. I found it difficult to pray because I was
already feeling very exhausted, and immediately after Holy Communion I
returned to my room. Then I saw the Lord, who said to me, Know, My
daughter, that the ardor of your heart is pleasing to Me. And just as you
desire ardently to become united with Me in Holy Communion, so too do I
desire to give Myself wholly to you; and as a reward for your zeal, rest on
My Heart. At that moment, my spirit was immersed in His Being, like
a drop in a bottomless ocean. I drowned myself in Him as in my sole treasure.
Thus I came to recognize that the Lord allows certain difficulties for His
greater glory.
843 December 24,
[1936]. During Holy Mass today, I was united in a particular way with God and
His Immaculate Mother. The humility and love of the Immaculate Virgin penetrated
my soul. The more I imitate the Mother of God, the more deeply I get to know
God. Oh, what infinite longing envelops my soul! Jesus, how can You still
leave me in this exile? I am dying of longing for You. Every touch of my soul
by You wounds me immensely. Love and suffering go together; yet I would not
exchange this pain caused by You for any treasure, because it is the pain of
incomprehensible delights, and these wounds of the soul are inflicted by a
loving hand.
846 December 25,
[1936]. Midnight Mass. During Mass, God's presence pierced me through and
through. A moment before the Elevation I saw the Mother of God and the Infant
Jesus and the good Old Man [St. Joseph]. The Most Holy Mother spoke these
words to me: My daughter, Faustina, take this most precious
Treasure, and she gave me the Infant Jesus. When I took Jesus in my
arms, my soul felt such unspeakable joy that I am unable to describe it. But,
strange thing, after a short while Jesus became awful, horrible-looking,
grown up and suffering; and then the vision vanished, and soon it was time to
go to Holy Communion. When I received the Lord Jesus in Holy Communion, my
soul trembled under the influence of God's presence. The next day, I saw the
Divine Infant for a brief moment during the Elevation.
928 Then suddenly I
saw the Lord, who clasped me to His Heart and said to me, My
daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your tears. I will grant you
everything you ask for, but stop crying. And I was filled with great
joy, and my spirit, as usual, was drowned in Him as in its only treasure.
Today, encouraged by His kindness, I conversed with Jesus at greater length.
957 The pure
offering of my will will burn on the altar of love. That my sacrifice may be
perfect, I unite myself closely with the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
When great sufferings will cause my nature to tremble, and my physical and
spiritual strength will diminish, then will I hide myself deep in the open
wound of the Heart of Jesus, silent as a dove, without complaint. Let all my
desires, even the holiest, noblest and most beautiful, take always the last
place and Your holy will, the very first. The least of Your desires, O Lord,
is more precious to me than heaven, with all its treasures. I know very well
that people will not understand me; that is why my sacrifice will be purer in
Your eyes.
969 +Today, I went
to meditate before the Blessed Sacrament [in the sanatorium chapel]. When I
approached the altar, God's presence pervaded my soul, I was plunged into the
ocean of His divinity, and Jesus said to me, My daughter, all that
exists is yours. I answered the Lord, "My heart wants nothing
but You alone, O Treasure of my heart. For all the gifts You give me, thank
you, O Lord, but I desire only Your Heart. Though the heavens are immense,
they are nothing to me without You. You know very well, O Jesus, that I am
constantly swooning because of my longing for You." Know this,
My daughter, that you are already tasting now what other souls will obtain
only in eternity.
1021 + I have such a
strong desire to hide myself that I would like to live as though I did not
exist. I feel a strange inner urge to hide myself as deeply as possible so as
to be known only to the Heart of Jesus. I want to be a quiet little dwelling
place for Jesus to rest in. I shall admit nothing that might awaken my
Beloved. My concealment gives me a chance to commune constantly and
exclusively with my Bridegroom. I commune with creatures in so far as it is
pleasing to Him. My heart has come to love the Lord with the full force of
love, and I know no other love, because it is from the beginning that my soul
has sunk deeply in the Lord as in its only treasure.
1064 + O my most
sweet Master, good Jesus, I give You my heart. You shape and mold it after
Your liking. O fathomless love, I open the calyx of my heart to You, like a
rosebud to the freshness of dew. To You alone, my Betrothed, is known the
fragrance of the flower of my heart. Let the fragrance of my sacrifice be
pleasing to You. O Immortal God, my everlasting delight, already here on
earth You are my heaven. May every beat of my heart be a new hymn of praise
to You, O Holy Trinity! Had I as many hearts as there are drops of water in
the ocean or grains of sand in the whole world, I would offer them all to
You, O my Love, O Treasure of my heart! Whomever I shall meet in my life, no
matter who they may be, I want to draw them all to love You, O my Jesus, my
Beauty, my Repose, my sole Master, Judge, Savior and Spouse, all in one; I
know that one title will modify the other-I have entrusted everything to Your
mercy.
1122 God of great
mercy, who deigned to send us Your only begotten Son as the greatest proof of
Your fathomless love and mercy, You do not reject sinners; but in Your
boundless mercy You have opened for them also Your treasures, treasures from
which they can draw abundantly, not only justification, but also all the
sanctity that a soul can attain. Father of great mercy, I desire that all
hearts turn with confidence to Your infinite mercy. No one will be justified
before You if he is not accompanied by Your unfathomable mercy. When You
reveal the mystery of Your mercy to us, there will not be enough of eternity
to properly thank You for it.
1385 November 19.
After Communion today, Jesus told me how much He desires to come to human
hearts. I desire to unite Myself with human souls; My great delight
is to unite Myself with souls. Know, My daughter, that when I come to a human
heart in Holy Communion, My hands are full of all kinds of graces which I
want to give to the soul. But souls do not even pay any attention to Me; they
leave Me to Myself and busy themselves with other things. Oh, how sad I am
that souls do not recognize Love! They treat Me as a dead object. I
answered Jesus, "O Treasure of my heart, the only object of my love and
entire delight of my soul, I want to adore You in my heart as You are adored
on the throne of Your eternal glory. My love wants to make up to You at least
in part for the coldness of so great a number of souls. Jesus, behold my heart
which is for You a dwelling place to which no one else has entry. You alone
repose in it as in a beautiful garden.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-57, 62, 66, 142, 294, 296, 304, 338)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-342-343, 415, 454)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-608, 649, 763, 781, 801, 826)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-843, 846, 928, 957, 969
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1021, 1064, 1122)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1385)
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Hulyo 31, 2016
The Millionaire’s Folly-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
Hulyo 30, 2016
Heeding or Silencing the Conscience-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
Heeding or Silencing the Conscience
July 30, 2016. Saturday Memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary
Matthew
14: 1-12
Herod the tetrarch heard of the reputation of
Jesus and said to his servants, "This man is John the Baptist. He has been
raised from the dead; that is why mighty powers are at work in him." Now
Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of
Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip, for John had said to him, "It is
not lawful for you to have her." Although he wanted to kill him, he feared
the people, for they regarded him as a prophet. But at a birthday celebration
for Herod, the daughter of Herodias performed a dance before the guests and
delighted Herod so much that he swore to give her whatever she might ask for.
Prompted by her mother, she said, "Give me here on a platter the head of
John the Baptist." The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and
the guests who were present, he ordered that it be given, and he had John beheaded
in the prison. His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who
took it to her mother. His disciples came and took away the corpse and buried
him; and they went and told Jesus.
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe You are looking for me. You
stand ready to come to me in this moment of prayer. You want to help me see
Your love and where I can grow to be more like You. Thank You for Your patience
and goodness with me. I want to give myself totally to You.
Petition: Lord, help me to hear Your voice more clearly today.
1. A Disturbing Voice: John the Baptist had been sent to prepare the
way for Christ. He was a witness to the holiness of God. He tried to awaken the
sense of sin and the need for repentance. He spoke clearly and was afraid of no
one. Sometimes the voice of God in my conscience can be bothersome, like John’s
voice was to Herod. Yet a clear reminder of what is right and wrong is an act
of mercy from God. He is giving us a chance to awaken from our lethargy and
realize that our immortal souls are at stake. I should thank God when my
conscience reminds me of things I need to change in my life.
2. What’s Wrong With a Little Entertainment? There is nothing wrong with having
celebrations in our life and moments of joy and relaxation. A Christian’s life
is rich in moments of happiness. But, as was the case in Herod’s birthday
party, there exists the danger of looking for entertainment and relaxation in
activities or pastimes which can simply manipulate our passions, weaken our
morals, and deeply offend God. If we are unable to choose our entertainment
wisely we can end up throwing away the richness of our spiritual inheritance
for cheap thrills. Herod ends up as a murderer rather than a good king. His
unchecked passions of sensuality and human respect make him use his power to
destroy rather than protect. I must remember that even in the moments of
relaxation I have the responsibility to protect and foster my Christian
identity. I should look for healthy pastimes where I can share the joy of Christian
living with my friends and family.
3. The Proverbial Second Chance: When Herod hears of Jesus, his conscience
pricks him. He knew he had killed a man of God. Somewhere in his heart he knew
that God would have the last word. The presence of Christ is an additional
grace that the Father offers Herod so that he may be converted. Unfortunately
it is a grace that Herod will not take advantage of, just as he did not take
advantage of the presence of John the Baptist. In my own life, how many times
does the Father have to remind me of my call to holiness? Do I realize how much
mercy the Lord has already shown me? What is it that I am still withholding
from him? Today I will seek a deep conversion of heart in that area where I
know I have still been withholding myself from God.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, thank you for enlightening my conscience
with Your Gospel. Help me to see where I have become deaf or insensitive to the
call of Your teachings. I want Your grace to triumph in my life. Help me to be
brave to change what offends You and to live a life of Christian authenticity.
Resolution: I will receive the sacrament of reconciliation today and also
invite someone else to receive it.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
39 + One day Jesus told me that He would cause a
chastisement to fall upon the most beautiful city in our country [probably
Warsaw]. This chastisement would be that with which God had punished Sodom and
Gomorrah.[27] I saw the great wrath
of God and a shudder pierced my heart. I prayed in silence.After a moment,
Jesus said to me, My child, unite yourself closely to Me during the
Sacrifice and offer My Blood and My Wounds to My Father in expiation for the
sins of that city. Repeat this without interruption throughout the entire Holy
Mass. Do this for seven days. On the seventh day I saw Jesus in a bright
cloud and began to beg Him to look upon the city and upon our whole country.
Jesus looked [down] graciously. When I saw the kindness of' Jesus, I began to
beg His blessing. Immediately Jesus said, For your sake I bless the entire
country. And He made a big sign of the cross over our country. Seeing the
goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul.
+February 22, 1931
47 In the evening, when I was in my cell, I saw the Lord
Jesus clothed in a white garment. One hand [was] raised in the gesture of
blessing, the other was touching the garment at the breast. From beneath the
garment, slightly drawn aside at the breast, there were emanating two large
rays, one red, the other pale. In silence I kept my gaze fixed on the Lord; my
soul was struck with awe, but also with great joy. After a while, Jesus said to
me, Paint an image according to the pattern you see, with the signature:
Jesus, I trust in You. I desire that this image be venerated, first in your
chapel, and [then] throughout the world.
48 I promise that the soul that will venerate this image
will not perish. I also promise victory over [its] enemies already here on
earth, especially at the hour of death. I Myself will defend it as My own
glory.
70 Only Jesus knows how burdensome and difficult it is to
accomplish one's duties when the soul is so interiorly tortured, the physical
powers so weakened and the mind darkened. In the silence of my heart I kept
saying to myself, "O Christ, may delights, honor and glory be Yours, and
suffering be mine. I will not lag one step behind as I follow You, though
thorns wound my feet."
71 I was sent for treatment to our house in Plock, and there
I had the privilege of decorating the chapel with flowers. That was at Biala.[36] Sister Thecla did not always have time for
this, so I often decorated the chapel by myself. One day, I had picked the
prettiest roses to decorate the room of a certain person. When I was
approaching the porch, I saw Jesus standing there. In a kindly way He asked me,
My daughter, to whom are you taking these flowers? My silence was my reply
to the Lord, because I recognized immediately that I had a very subtle
attachment to this person,[37] which I had not noticed before. Suddenly
Jesus disappeared. At the same moment I threw the flowers on the ground and
went before the Blessed Sacrament, my heart filled with gratitude for the grace
of knowing myself.
O Divine Sun, in Your rays the soul sees the tiniest specks of dust which displease You.
72 O Jesus, eternal Truth, our Life, I call upon You and I beg Your mercy for poor sinners. O sweetest Heart of my Lord, full of pity and unfathomable mercy, I plead with You for poor sinners. O Most Sacred Heart, Fount of Mercy from which gush forth rays of inconceivable graces upon the entire human race, I beg of You light for poor sinners. O Jesus, be mindful of Your own bitter Passion and do not permit the loss of souls redeemed at so dear a price of Your most precious Blood. O Jesus, when I consider the great price of Your Blood, I rejoice at its immensity, for one drop alone would have been enough for the salvation of all sinners. Although sin is an abyss of wickedness and ingratitude, the price paid for us can never be equalled. Therefore, let every soul trust in the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone. Heaven and earth may change, but God's mercy will never be exhausted. Oh, what immense joy burns in my heart when I contemplate Your incomprehensible goodness, O Jesus! I desire to bring all sinners to Your feet that they may glorify Your mercy throughout endless ages.
O Divine Sun, in Your rays the soul sees the tiniest specks of dust which displease You.
72 O Jesus, eternal Truth, our Life, I call upon You and I beg Your mercy for poor sinners. O sweetest Heart of my Lord, full of pity and unfathomable mercy, I plead with You for poor sinners. O Most Sacred Heart, Fount of Mercy from which gush forth rays of inconceivable graces upon the entire human race, I beg of You light for poor sinners. O Jesus, be mindful of Your own bitter Passion and do not permit the loss of souls redeemed at so dear a price of Your most precious Blood. O Jesus, when I consider the great price of Your Blood, I rejoice at its immensity, for one drop alone would have been enough for the salvation of all sinners. Although sin is an abyss of wickedness and ingratitude, the price paid for us can never be equalled. Therefore, let every soul trust in the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone. Heaven and earth may change, but God's mercy will never be exhausted. Oh, what immense joy burns in my heart when I contemplate Your incomprehensible goodness, O Jesus! I desire to bring all sinners to Your feet that they may glorify Your mercy throughout endless ages.
73 O my Jesus, despite the deep night that is all around me
and the dark clouds which hide the horizon, I know that the sun never goes out.
O Lord, though I cannot comprehend You and do not understand Your ways, I
nonetheless trust in Your mercy. If it is Your will, Lord, that I live always
in such darkness, may You be blessed. I ask You only one thing, Jesus: do not
allow me to offend You in any way. O my Jesus, You alone know the longings and
the sufferings of my heart. I am glad I can suffer for You, however little.
When I feel that the suffering is more than I can bear, I take refuge in the
Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, and I speak to Him with profound silence.
117 I will mention here that those who live with such a
person should not add external sufferings; for indeed, when the soul's cup is
full, the little drop we may add to it may be the one drop too much, and the
cup of bitterness will overflow. And who will answer for such a soul? Let us
beware of adding to the suffering of others, because that is displeasing to the
Lord. If the sisters or the superiors knew or even suspected that a soul was suffering
such trials, and they nevertheless added still other sufferings, they would be
sinning gravely, and God himself would demand an account of them on behalf of
such a soul. I am not speaking here of instances which of their very nature are
sinful, but of things which in other circumstances would not be sinful. Let us
be on our guard against having the weight of such a soul on our conscience.
This is a grave and common defect in religious life; namely, that when one sees
a suffering soul, one always wants to add even more suffering. I do not say
that everyone acts like this, but there are some. We take the liberty of
passing all sorts of judgments, and we repeat them when we would do better to
remain silent.
118 The tongue is a small member, but it does big things. A
religious who does not keep silence will never attain holiness; that is, she
will never become a saint. Let her not delude herself-unless it is the Spirit
of God who is speaking through her, for then she must not keep silent. But, in
order to hear the voice of God, one has to have silence in one's soul and to
keep silence; not a gloomy silence, but an interior silence; that is to say,
recollection in God. One can speak a great deal without breaking silence and,
on the contrary, one can speak little and be constantly breaking silence. Oh,
what irreparable damage is done by the breach of silence! We cause a lot of
harm to our neighbor, but even more to our own selves.
In my opinion, and according to my experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place. God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells, is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
In my opinion, and according to my experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place. God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells, is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
119 I tremble to think that I have to give an account of my
tongue. There is life, but there is also death in the tongue. Sometimes we kill
with the tongue: we commit real murders. And we are still to regard that as a
small thing? I truly do not understand such consciences. I have known a person
who, when she learned from someone that a certain thing was being said about
her, fell seriously ill. She lost a good deal of blood and shed many tears, and
the outcome was very sad. It was not the sword that did all this, but the
tongue. O my silent Jesus, have mercy on us!
120 I have wandered onto the subject of silence. But this is
not what I wanted to speak about, but rather about the soul's life with God and
about its response to grace. When a soul has been cleansed, and the Lord is on
intimate terms with it, it begins to apply all its inner force in striving
after God. Yet the soul cannot do anything of itself. God alone arranges
everything. The soul knows this and is mindful of it. It is still in exile and
understands well that there may yet come cloudy and rainy days, but it must now
look upon things differently from what it had up to now. It does not seek
reassurance in a false peace, but makes ready for battle. It knows it comes
from a warrior race. It is now much more aware of everything. It knows that it
is of royal stock. It is concerned with all that is great and holy.
126 Yet, I resolved to bear everything in silence and to
give no explanations when I was questioned. Some were irritated by my silence,
especially those who were more curious. Others, who reflected more deeply,
said, "Sister Faustina must be very close to God if she has the strength
to bear so much suffering." It was as if I were facing two groups of
judges. I strove after interior and exterior silence. I said nothing about
myself, even though I was questioned directly by some sisters. My lips were
sealed. I suffered like a dove, without complaint. But some sisters seemed to
find pleasure in vexing me in whatever way they could. My patience irritated
them. But God gave me so much inner strength that I endured it calmly.
163 JMJ The Year 1937
General Exercises
+O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy.
+I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, 0 Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.
+You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself, for you can do all things.
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General Exercises
+O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy.
+I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, 0 Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.
+You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself, for you can do all things.
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169 My conversation with the Lord Jesus before the retreat.
Jesus told me that this retreat would be a little different from others. You
shall strive to maintain a profound peace in respect to your communings with
Me. I will remove all doubts in this regard. I know that you are at peace now
as I speak to you, but the moment I stop talking you will start looking for
doubts. But I want you to know that I will affirm your soul to such a degree
that even if you wanted to be troubled, it will not be within your power. And
as a proof that it is I who am speaking to you, you will go to confession on
the second day of the retreat to the priest who is preaching the retreat; you
will go to him as soon as he has finished his conference and will present to
him all your doubts concerning Me. I will answer you through his lips, and then
your fears will end. During this retreat, observe such strict silence that it
will be as though nothing exists around you. You shall speak only to Me and to
your confessor; you will ask your superiors only for penances. I felt
immense joy that the Lord would show me such kindness and lower himself so much
for my sake.
171 Struggle to keep silence. As usual, sisters from various
houses came to the retreat. One of the sisters whom I had not seen for a long
time, came to my cell and said she had something to tell me. I did not answer
her, and she saw that I did not want to break silence. She said to me, "I
didn't know you were such an eccentric, sister," and she went away. I was
well aware that she had no other business with me than to satisfy her own
curious self-love. O God, preserve me in faithfulness.
226 The rules that I most often fail to obey: sometimes I
break silence; disobedience to the signal of the bell; sometimes I meddle in
other people's affairs. I will do my very best to improve.
I will avoid sisters who grumble, and if they cannot be avoided, I will at least keep silent before them, thus letting them know how sorry I am to hear such things. I must take no heed of the opinion of others, but obey the evidence of my own conscience and take God to be the witness of all my actions. I must do everything and act in all matters now as I would like to do and act at the hour of my death. For this reason, in every action I must be mindful of God.
Avoid presumed permissions.[67] I must report [even] small things to my superiors, and do so in as much detail as is possible. I must be faithful in my spiritual exercises; I must not easily ask to be dispensed from them. I must keep silence outside the time of recreation, and avoid jokes and witty words that make others laugh and break silence. I must have great appreciation for even the most minute rules. I must not let myself become absorbed in the whirl of work, [but] take a break to look up to heaven. Speak little with people, but a good deal with God. Avoid familiarity. I must pay little attention as to who is for me and who is against me. I must not tell others about those things I have had to put up with. I must avoid speaking out loud to others during work. I must maintain peace and equanimity during times of suffering. In difficult moments I must take refuge in the wounds of Jesus; I must seek consolation, comfort, light and affirmation in the wounds of Jesus.
I will avoid sisters who grumble, and if they cannot be avoided, I will at least keep silent before them, thus letting them know how sorry I am to hear such things. I must take no heed of the opinion of others, but obey the evidence of my own conscience and take God to be the witness of all my actions. I must do everything and act in all matters now as I would like to do and act at the hour of my death. For this reason, in every action I must be mindful of God.
Avoid presumed permissions.[67] I must report [even] small things to my superiors, and do so in as much detail as is possible. I must be faithful in my spiritual exercises; I must not easily ask to be dispensed from them. I must keep silence outside the time of recreation, and avoid jokes and witty words that make others laugh and break silence. I must have great appreciation for even the most minute rules. I must not let myself become absorbed in the whirl of work, [but] take a break to look up to heaven. Speak little with people, but a good deal with God. Avoid familiarity. I must pay little attention as to who is for me and who is against me. I must not tell others about those things I have had to put up with. I must avoid speaking out loud to others during work. I must maintain peace and equanimity during times of suffering. In difficult moments I must take refuge in the wounds of Jesus; I must seek consolation, comfort, light and affirmation in the wounds of Jesus.
236 Oh, how misleading are appearances, and how unjust the
judgments. Oh, how often virtue suffers only because it remains silent. To be
sincere with those who are incessantly stinging us demands much self-denial.
One bleeds, but there are no visible wounds. O Jesus, it is only on the last
day that many of these things will be made known. What joy-none of our efforts
will be lost!
252 +It was four days after my perpetual vows. I was trying
to make a Holy Hour. It was the first Thursday of the month. As soon as I
entered the chapel, God's presence enveloped me. I was distinctly aware that
the Lord was near me. After a moment, I saw the Lord, all covered with wounds;
and He said to me, Look at whom you have espoused. I understood the
meaning of these words and answered the Lord, "Jesus, I love You more when
I see You wounded and crushed with suffering like this than if I saw You in
majesty." Jesus asked, Why? I replied, "Great majesty
terrifies me, little nothing that I am, and Your wounds draw me to Your Heart
and tell me of Your great love for me." After this conversation there was
silence. I fixed my gaze upon His sacred wounds and felt happy to suffer with
Him. I suffered, and yet I did not suffer, because I felt happy to know the
depth of His love, and the hour passed like a minute.
253 +I must never judge anyone, but look at others with
leniency and at myself with severity. I must refer everything to God and, in my
own eyes, recognize myself for what I am: utter misery and nothingness. In
suffering, I must be patient and quiet, knowing that everything passes in time.
254 +The moments I lived through when I was taking my
perpetual vows are better left unsaid.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger, God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger, God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of knowing myself. In this
divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride which takes the form of my
closing up within myself and of a lack of simplicity in my relations with
Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A hidden flower is the most
fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my soul a resting place for the
Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful moments, O my Creator, I sing You a
hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss of my trust in You and in Your
mercy!
359 January 10, 1935. +Thursday. In the evening during
benediction,[85] such thoughts as these
began to distress me: Is not perhaps all this that I am saying about God's
great mercy just a lie or an illusion...? And I wanted to think about this for
a while, when I heard a strong and clear inner voice saying, Everything that
you say about My goodness is true; language has no adequate expression to extol
My goodness. These words were so filled with power and so clear that I
would give my life in declaring they came from God. I can tell this by the
profound peace that accompanied them at that time and that still remains with
me. This peace gives me such great strength and power that all difficulties,
adversities, sufferings, and death itself are as nothing. This light gave me a
glimpse of the truth that all my efforts to bring souls to know the mercy of
the Lord are very pleasing to God. And from this springs such great joy in my
soul that I do not know whether it could be any greater in heaven. Oh, if souls
would only be willing to listen, at least a little, to the voice of conscience
and the voicethat is, the inspirations-of the Holy Spirit! I say "at least
a little," because once we open ourselves to the influence of the Holy
Spirit, He himself will fulfill what is lacking in us.
375 Particular interior practice; that is, the examination
of conscience. Self-denial, denial of my own will.
I. The denial of my reason. Subjecting it to the reason of those who represent God to me here on earth.
II. The denial of my will. Doing the will of God, which is revealed in the will of those who represent God to me and which is contained in the rule of our order.
III. The denial of my judgment. Accepting immediately and without reflection, analysis or reasoning all orders given by those who represent God to me.
IV. The denial of my tongue. I will not give it the least bit of freedom; but in one case only I will give it complete freedom; that is, in proclaiming the glory of God. Whenever I receive Holy Communion, I will ask Jesus to fortify and cleanse my tongue that I may not injure my neighbor with it. That is why I have the greatest respect for the rule which speaks about silence.
I. The denial of my reason. Subjecting it to the reason of those who represent God to me here on earth.
II. The denial of my will. Doing the will of God, which is revealed in the will of those who represent God to me and which is contained in the rule of our order.
III. The denial of my judgment. Accepting immediately and without reflection, analysis or reasoning all orders given by those who represent God to me.
IV. The denial of my tongue. I will not give it the least bit of freedom; but in one case only I will give it complete freedom; that is, in proclaiming the glory of God. Whenever I receive Holy Communion, I will ask Jesus to fortify and cleanse my tongue that I may not injure my neighbor with it. That is why I have the greatest respect for the rule which speaks about silence.
396 My traveling companions were very kind; several women of
the Sodality of Mary were in the same compartment with me. I sensed that one of
them was suffering greatly and fighting a difficult battle in her soul. l began
to pray in spirit for this soul. At eleven o'clock these women went to another
compartment for a chat, leaving only the two of us behind in the carriage. I
could feel that my prayer was causing this soul's struggle to become even
fiercer. I did not console her, but prayed all the more fervently. Finally, the
lady turned to me and asked if she was obliged to fulfill a certain promise
which she had made to God. At that moment, I received inner knowledge of the
promise and replied, "You are absolutely obliged to keep it, or else you
will be miserable for the rest of your life. This thought will pursue you
everywhere and give you no peace." Surprised at my answer, she opened her
soul to me.
She was a schoolteacher. When she was about to take her examinations, she had promised God that if she did well in her examinations she would devote herself to His service; that is, enter a religious congregation. She passed the examinations very well. "But," she said, "when I entered into the hustle and bustle of the world, I no longer wanted to enter a convent. However, my conscience has given me no peace, and despite amusements I am always unhappy."
After a lengthy conversation, she was completely changed and told me that she would immediately take steps to enter a convent. She asked me to pray for her, and I felt that God would be generous with His grace.
She was a schoolteacher. When she was about to take her examinations, she had promised God that if she did well in her examinations she would devote herself to His service; that is, enter a religious congregation. She passed the examinations very well. "But," she said, "when I entered into the hustle and bustle of the world, I no longer wanted to enter a convent. However, my conscience has given me no peace, and despite amusements I am always unhappy."
After a lengthy conversation, she was completely changed and told me that she would immediately take steps to enter a convent. She asked me to pray for her, and I felt that God would be generous with His grace.
400 On the last day, when everyone had left the church, I
went before the Blessed Sacrament with him, and together we recited the Te
Deum. After a moment of silence, I offered his soul to the Sweetest Heart of
Jesus. How easy it was to pray in that little church! I remembered all the
graces that I had received there, and which I had not understood at the time
and had so often abused. I wondered how I could have been so blind. And as I
was thus regretting my blindness, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, radiant with
unspeakable beauty, .. and He said to me with kindness, My chosen one, I
will give you even greater graces that you may be the witness of My infinite
mercy throughout all eternity.
401 The days at home passed in much company, as everybody
wanted to see me and talk with me. Often I could count as many as twenty-five
people there. They listened with great interest to my accounts of the lives of
the saints. It seemed to me that our house was truly the house of God, as each
evening we talked about nothing but God. When, tired from these talks and
yearning for solitude and silence, I quietly slipped out into the garden in the
evening so I could converse with God alone, even in this I was unsuccessful;
immediately my brothers and sisters came and took me into the house and, once
again, I had to talk, with all those eyes fixed on me. But I struck on one way
of getting some respite; I asked my brothers to sing for me, inasmuch as they
had lovely voices; and besides, one played the violin and another, the
mandolin. And during this time I was able to devote myself to interior prayer
without shunning their company.
What also cost me a lot was that I had to kiss the children. The women I knew came with their children and asked me to take them in my arms, at least for a moment, and kiss them. They regarded this as a great favor, and for me it was a chance to practice virtue, since many of the children were quite dirty. But in order to overcome my feelings and show no repugnance, I would kiss such a dirty child twice. One of these friends came with a child whose eyes were diseased and filled with pus, and she said to me, "Sister, take it in your arms for a moment, please." My nature recoiled, but not paying attention to anything, I took the child and kissed it twice, right on the infection, asking God to heal it.
I had many opportunities to practice virtue. I listened to people pour out their grievances, and I saw that no heart was joyful, because no heart truly loved God; and this did not surprise me at all. I was very sorry not to have seen two of my sisters. I felt interiorly that their souls were in great danger. Pain gripped my heart at the thought of them. Once, when I felt very close to God, I fervently asked the Lord to grant them grace, and the Lord answered me, I am granting them not only necessary graces, but special graces as well. I understood that the Lord would call them to a greater union with Him. I rejoice immensely that such great love reigns in our family.
What also cost me a lot was that I had to kiss the children. The women I knew came with their children and asked me to take them in my arms, at least for a moment, and kiss them. They regarded this as a great favor, and for me it was a chance to practice virtue, since many of the children were quite dirty. But in order to overcome my feelings and show no repugnance, I would kiss such a dirty child twice. One of these friends came with a child whose eyes were diseased and filled with pus, and she said to me, "Sister, take it in your arms for a moment, please." My nature recoiled, but not paying attention to anything, I took the child and kissed it twice, right on the infection, asking God to heal it.
I had many opportunities to practice virtue. I listened to people pour out their grievances, and I saw that no heart was joyful, because no heart truly loved God; and this did not surprise me at all. I was very sorry not to have seen two of my sisters. I felt interiorly that their souls were in great danger. Pain gripped my heart at the thought of them. Once, when I felt very close to God, I fervently asked the Lord to grant them grace, and the Lord answered me, I am granting them not only necessary graces, but special graces as well. I understood that the Lord would call them to a greater union with Him. I rejoice immensely that such great love reigns in our family.
407 Oh, how happy I felt to be back in our convent! I felt
as though I was entering the convent for the second time. I took unending
delight in the silence and peace in which the soul can so easily immerse itself
in God, helped by everyone and disturbed by no one.
April 29, 1935.
421 On the eve of the exposition of the image, I went with our Mother Superior to visit our confessor [Father Sopocko]. When the conversation touched upon the image, the confessor asked for one of the sisters to help make some wreaths. Mother Superior replied, "Sister Faustina will help." I was delighted at this, and when we returned home, I immediately set about preparing some greens, and with the help of one of our wards brought them over. Another person, who works at the church, also helped. Everything was ready by seven o'clock that evening, and the image was already hanging in its place. However, some ladies saw me standing around there, for I was more a bother than a help, and on the next day they asked the sisters what this beautiful image was and what was its significance. Surely these sisters would know, [they thought] as one of them had helped adorn it the day before. The sisters were very surprised as they knew nothing about it; they all wanted to see it and immediately they began to suspect me. They said, "Sister Faustina must certainly know all about it."
When they began asking me, I was silent, since I could not tell the truth. My silence increased their curiosity, and I was even more on my guard not to tell a lie and not to tell the truth, since I had no permission [to do so]. Then they started to show their displeasure and reproached me openly saying, "How is it that outsiders know about this and we, nothing?" Various judgments were being made about me. I suffered much for three days, but a special power took over in my soul. I was happy to suffer for God and for the souls that have been granted His mercy during these days. Seeing that so many souls have been granted divine mercy these days, I regard as nothing even the greatest suffering and toil, even if they were to continue till the end of the world; for they will come to an end, while these souls have been saved from torments that are without end. It was a great joy for me to see others returning to the source of happiness, the bosom of The Divine Mercy.
421 On the eve of the exposition of the image, I went with our Mother Superior to visit our confessor [Father Sopocko]. When the conversation touched upon the image, the confessor asked for one of the sisters to help make some wreaths. Mother Superior replied, "Sister Faustina will help." I was delighted at this, and when we returned home, I immediately set about preparing some greens, and with the help of one of our wards brought them over. Another person, who works at the church, also helped. Everything was ready by seven o'clock that evening, and the image was already hanging in its place. However, some ladies saw me standing around there, for I was more a bother than a help, and on the next day they asked the sisters what this beautiful image was and what was its significance. Surely these sisters would know, [they thought] as one of them had helped adorn it the day before. The sisters were very surprised as they knew nothing about it; they all wanted to see it and immediately they began to suspect me. They said, "Sister Faustina must certainly know all about it."
When they began asking me, I was silent, since I could not tell the truth. My silence increased their curiosity, and I was even more on my guard not to tell a lie and not to tell the truth, since I had no permission [to do so]. Then they started to show their displeasure and reproached me openly saying, "How is it that outsiders know about this and we, nothing?" Various judgments were being made about me. I suffered much for three days, but a special power took over in my soul. I was happy to suffer for God and for the souls that have been granted His mercy during these days. Seeing that so many souls have been granted divine mercy these days, I regard as nothing even the greatest suffering and toil, even if they were to continue till the end of the world; for they will come to an end, while these souls have been saved from torments that are without end. It was a great joy for me to see others returning to the source of happiness, the bosom of The Divine Mercy.
432 At that very moment, I felt some kind of fire in my
heart. I feel my senses deadening and have no idea of what is going on around
me. I feel the Lord's gaze piercing me through and through. I am very much
aware of His greatness and my misery. An extraordinary suffering pervades my
soul, together with a joy I cannot compare to anything. I feel powerless in the
embrace of God. I feel that I am in Him and that I am dissolved in Him like a
drop of water in the ocean. I cannot express what takes place within me; after
such interior prayer, I feel strength and power to practice the most difficult
virtues. I feel dislike for all things that the world holds in esteem. With all
my soul I desire silence and solitude.
Thursday, Nocturnal Adoration.
445 When I came for adoration, an inner recollection took hold of me immediately, and I saw the Lord Jesus tied to a pillar, stripped of His clothes, and the scourging began immediately. I saw four men who took turns at striking the Lord with scourges. My heart almost stopped at the sight of these tortures. The Lord said to me, I suffer even greater pain than that which you see. And Jesus gave me to know for what sins He subjected himself to the scourging: these are sins of impurity. Oh, how dreadful was Jesus' moral suffering during the scourging! Then Jesus said to me, Look and see the human race in its present condition. In an instant, I saw horrible things: the executioners left Jesus, and other people started scourging Him; they seized the scourges and struck the Lord mercilessly. These were priests, religious men and women; and high dignitaries of the Church, which surprised me greatly. There were lay people of all ages and walks of life. All vented their malice on the innocent Jesus. Seeing this, my heart fell as if into a mortal agony. And while the executioners had been scourging Him, Jesus had been silent and looking into the distance; but when those other souls I mentioned scourged Him, Jesus closed His eyes, and a soft, but most painful moan escaped from His Heart. And Jesus gave me to know in detail the gravity of the malice of these ungrateful souls: You see, this is a torture greater than My death. Then my lips too fell silent, and I began to experience the agony of death, and I felt that no one would comfort me or snatch me from that state but the One who had put me into it. Then the Lord said to me, I see the sincere pain of your heart which brought great solace to My Heart. See and take comfort.
445 When I came for adoration, an inner recollection took hold of me immediately, and I saw the Lord Jesus tied to a pillar, stripped of His clothes, and the scourging began immediately. I saw four men who took turns at striking the Lord with scourges. My heart almost stopped at the sight of these tortures. The Lord said to me, I suffer even greater pain than that which you see. And Jesus gave me to know for what sins He subjected himself to the scourging: these are sins of impurity. Oh, how dreadful was Jesus' moral suffering during the scourging! Then Jesus said to me, Look and see the human race in its present condition. In an instant, I saw horrible things: the executioners left Jesus, and other people started scourging Him; they seized the scourges and struck the Lord mercilessly. These were priests, religious men and women; and high dignitaries of the Church, which surprised me greatly. There were lay people of all ages and walks of life. All vented their malice on the innocent Jesus. Seeing this, my heart fell as if into a mortal agony. And while the executioners had been scourging Him, Jesus had been silent and looking into the distance; but when those other souls I mentioned scourged Him, Jesus closed His eyes, and a soft, but most painful moan escaped from His Heart. And Jesus gave me to know in detail the gravity of the malice of these ungrateful souls: You see, this is a torture greater than My death. Then my lips too fell silent, and I began to experience the agony of death, and I felt that no one would comfort me or snatch me from that state but the One who had put me into it. Then the Lord said to me, I see the sincere pain of your heart which brought great solace to My Heart. See and take comfort.
449 I prepared for this feast with greater zeal than in
previous years. On the morning of the feast itself, I experienced an inner
struggle at the thought that I must leave this Congregation which enjoys such
special protection from Mary. This struggle lasted through the meditation and
through the first Mass as well. During the second Mass, I turned to our Holy
Mother, telling Her that it was difficult for me to separate myself from this
Congregation... "which is under Your special protection, O Mary."
Then I saw the Blessed Virgin, unspeakably beautiful. She came down from the
altar to my kneeler, held me close to herself and said to me, I am Mother to
you all, thanks to the unfathomable mercy of God. Most pleasing to Me is that
soul which faithfully carries out the will of God. She gave me to
understand that I had faithfully fulfilled the will of God and had thus found favor
in His eyes. Be courageous. Do not fear apparent obstacles, but fix your
gaze upon the Passion of My Son, and in this way you will be victorious.
1728 Write: I am Thrice Holy, and
I detest the smallest sin. I cannot love a soul which is stained with sin; but
when it repents, there is no limit to My generosity toward it. My mercy
embraces and justifies it. With My mercy, I pursue sinners along all their
paths, and My Heart rejoices when they return to Me. I forget the bitterness
with which they fed My Heart and rejoice at their return.
Tell sinners that no one shall escape My Hand; if they run away from My Merciful Heart, they will fall into My Just Hands. Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart... when will it beat for Me? Write, that I am speaking to them through their remorse of conscience, through their failures and sufferings, through thunderstorms, through the voice of the Church. And if they bring all My graces to naught, I begin to be angry with them, leaving them alone and giving them what they want.
Tell sinners that no one shall escape My Hand; if they run away from My Merciful Heart, they will fall into My Just Hands. Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart... when will it beat for Me? Write, that I am speaking to them through their remorse of conscience, through their failures and sufferings, through thunderstorms, through the voice of the Church. And if they bring all My graces to naught, I begin to be angry with them, leaving them alone and giving them what they want.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-39, 47-48, 70-73, 117, 130, 126, 163)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-169, 171, 226, 236, 252, 254, 274-275)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-359, 375, 396, 400-401, 407, 421, 432)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-445, 449)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1728)