A
Decisive Response
|
November 30, 2016 - Feast of Saint Andrew, apostle
|
By
Father Edward Hopkins, LC
Matthew
4:18-22
As Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter, and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea; they were fishermen. He said to them, "Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. He walked along from there and saw two other brothers, James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They were in a boat, with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.
Introductory Prayer: Dear Jesus, I believe
that You have called me to follow You more closely today. I trust that in
this prayer, You will help me see the concrete implications of following Your
will. I love You and want to respond to all that You ask of me, today and
always. Thank You for watching over me and guiding me home to heaven.
Petition: Make me a fisher of men, here
and now, Lord!
1. As Jesus Walked
By: One summer afternoon a priest just happened to be in the area
and visited my home. Within three years, two of my brothers and I were
following Christ on the road to the priesthood. Jesus didn’t just happen to
walk by these two pairs of brothers! He had every intention of inviting those
brothers to become “fishers of men.” How much happens in my life, prepared
and intended by God, to help me follow him more closely? And all I see is an
accident, a coincidence? Ask him when was the last time he just happened by.
2. At Once They Followed Him: Jesus
never calls someone when it’s perfectly convenient, when that person has
nothing better to do. No, he calls precisely when we are in the middle of
living our life, doing what we do best, what we do most, “casting or mending
our nets.” “What a losing formula!” we are tempted to conclude. Yet what is
it he really wants of us when he calls? He wants a response -- a reply of
love. Love is all about preference and priority. If I love him more than
myself, I can follow him “at once.” If I prefer him over my own activities
and life, I can follow him “immediately.” What is the response of love I am
giving or want to give Jesus today in my life?
3. They Left Something Behind: “Pro-choice:”
That’s what God is! He wants us to choose. But he is not indifferent about
what we choose. Every choice implies the rejection of other options. We
cannot follow someone somewhere without leaving something and someone else
behind. Peter and Andrew left their nets behind. James and John left their
boat and their father behind. This was possible only with Jesus before them.
Yet we, too, often try to follow Christ without leaving things and others
behind: the world, comforts, my preferences... We think that we can have it
all. We can’t. We are in danger of “taming our faith,” bending to the demands
of our passions and the world’s insistence. Love requires a choice, a choice
for the real, complete Jesus. It asks me to reject everything in me that is
not him. How wholehearted is my following of Christ?
Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, You have called me and continue to call me throughout this day. Help me to respond with love, a love that trumps all my other loves, likes and desires. I don’t want You to have to wait for me, Lord. Just show me what You want and give me the courage and generosity to give it to You, no matter the cost.
Resolution: I will give up something
today that diminishes the attention that I give to my spouse, family or
friends
.
Excerpts
from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
19
I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I
entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do
with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray
fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence
everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts
enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the
moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the
cell after nine without permission. [8]
After
a while a brightness filled my cell, and on the curtain I saw the very
sorrowful Face of Jesus. There were open wounds on His Face, and large tears
were falling on my bedspread. Not knowing what all this meant, I asked Jesus,
“Jesus who has hurt You so?” And Jesus said to me, It is you who will cause
Me this pain if you leave this convent. It is to this place that I called you
and nowhere else; and I have prepared many graces for you. I begged pardon of
Jesus and immediately changed my decision.
The
next day was confession day. I related all that had taken place in my soul,
and the confessor answered that, from this, God's will is clear that I am to
remain in this congregation and that I'm not even to think of another
religious order. From that moment on, I have always felt happy and content.
64
When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who had gone for
her third probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a
little longer than two months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene[34]],
wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me permission to go, together with
another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk the paths," as they say. I
was delighted. Although it was not very far, it was Mother Superior's wish
that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said to me, I want you to stay
home. I answered, "Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow
morning; what am I to do now?" The Lord answered, This trip will be
harmful to your soul. I replied to Jesus, "You can find a way out.
Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be done." At that moment
the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and went
to my cell.
Next
morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at
the prospect of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see
everything. But as for me, I was sure we would not go, even though there were
no obstacles so far.
We
were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right after the
thanksgiving. But during the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather
changed. Clouds covered the sky, and the rain came down in torrents. Everyone
was astounded at such a sudden change in the weather.
Mother
Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!" I
answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it
was God's will that we stay home." However, no one knew that it was
Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the whole day in recollection
and meditation, thanking the Lord for having kept me home. That day, God
granted me many heavenly consolations.
75
But these doubts always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close
myself up more and more within myself. When, during confession, I sense
uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths,
but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself
will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.
O
priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness
never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I
uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170
The first day of the retreat. I tried to be the first in the chapel in the
morning; before the meditation I had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy
Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of God to obtain for me
the grace of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of faithfully carrying
out God's will, whatever it might be. I began this retreat with a very
special kind of courage.
279
God made known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about
how, in practice, to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in
carrying out God's will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions,
even the least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My
child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your
mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want
the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter,
I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God
and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309
Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most
Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One
Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make
a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for
those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my
accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and
terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations
which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer
everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications,
prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am
united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the
souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the
ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do
not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that
flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of
self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself have
taught me, Jesus:
"O
Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy
for us, I trust in You!"
S.
M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March
29, 1934.
354
As I was talking to a certain person[84] who was to paint the image but, for
certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice in my soul: I want
her to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no matter how great,
are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am
speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know Your will in
the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes from
morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our superiors
through whom God speaks.
395
[February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my
dying mother.
When
I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she had
asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a
host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves
its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God
and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in my
heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name day, February
fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family and granted
me permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of my
dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary preparations for the
journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for my
seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of
the merits of her suffering.
435
As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I heard these words: By your
entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain mercy for yourselves and for
the world. I understood that I would not remain in the Congregation in which
I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was
otherwise. But 1 kept making excuses before God, telling Him that I was
unable to carry out this task. "Jesus, You know very well what I
am" [I said], and I started enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord,
hiding behind them so that He would agree that I was unable to carry out His
plans. Then I heard these words: Do not fear; I myself will make up for
everything that is lacking in you. But these words penetrated me to my depths
and made me even more aware of my misery, and I understood that the word of
the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the very depths. I understood
that God demands a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my
incompetence as an excuse.
439
Then came the moment to receive Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I
saw a great brightness. Then I heard these words: We give Our blessing, and
at that moment a bright ray issued from that light and pierced my heart; an
extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I thought I would die of joy and
happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit from my body. I felt totally
immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty, like a particle of
dust, into unknown expanses.
Trembling
with joy in the embrace of the Creator, I felt He himself was supporting me
so that I could bear this great happiness and gaze at His Majesty. I know now
that, if He himself had not first strengthened me by His grace, my soul would
not have been able to bear the happiness, and I would have died in an
instant. Holy Mass came to an end I know not when, for it was beyond my power
to pay attention to what was going on in the chapel. But when I recovered my
senses, I felt the strength and courage to do God's will; nothing seemed
difficult to me; and whereas I had previously been making excuses to the
Lord, I now felt the Lord's courage and strength within me, and I said to the
Lord, "I am ready for every beck and call of Your will!"
Interiorly, I had gone through everything that I war going to experience in
the future.
444
The priest spoke these profound words to me, "There are three degrees in
the accomplishment of God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all
rules and statutes pertaining to external observance; in the second degree,
the soul accepts interior inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in
the third degree, the soul, abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to
dispose of it freely, and God does with it as He pleases, and it is a docile
tool in His hands." And the priest said that I was at the second degree
in the accomplishment of God's will and that I had not yet reached the third
degree, but that I should strive to attain it. These words pierced my soul. I
see clearly that God often gives the priest knowledge of what is going on in
the depths of my soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God
that He has such chosen persons.
477
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never
attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off everything that would like
to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words and quickly want to answer
back, without taking any regard as to whether it is God's will that we should
speak. A silent soul is strong; no adversities will harm it if it perseveres
in silence. The silent soul is capable of attaining the closest union with
God. It lives almost always under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God
works in a silent soul without hindrance.
479
My second confession to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]. "Know, my
daughter, that if this is the will of God, it will take place sooner or
later, for God's will must be done. Love God in your heart, have..." (
unfinished thought].
506 "Do nothing without the consent of the
superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must
be very careful about these things because, in your present situation,
Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact bound to
this Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there should be no
doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings
of a project. God can make some alterations, but such things are very rare.
Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more precise knowledge.
The works of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely
recognize them clearly. If they are not, they will disappear; and you, by
being obedient, will not go astray. Speak frankly about everything to your
confessor and obey him blindly.
"For
the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the
suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all
things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and
so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign.
If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error.
Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if
despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear
anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have
told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are
things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there
were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need
of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be
faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what
you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or
toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves
will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider
yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In
everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
515
In the evening, when I was walking in the garden saying my rosary and came to
the cemetery,[102] I opened the gate a little and began to pray for a while,
and I asked them interiorly, "You are very happy are you not?" Then
I heard the words, "We are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled
God's will"-and then silence as before. I became introspective and
reflected for a long time on how I am fulfilling God's will and how I am
profiting from the time that God has given me.
518
+ Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was
locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said, "If you need something,
my dear little souls, I will be glad to help you to the extent that the rule
permits me." I then heard these words, "Do the will of God; we are
happy in the measure that we have fulfilled God's will."
527
On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is
demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my
soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough
omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength,
and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's will
seemed as nothing to me.
585
January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told
him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that
there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for
the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me.
The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my
permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for
the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume
that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention.
But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things
may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but
there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it
be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many
different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so
wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a
close union with God and do not lose heart." These words filled me with
great joy.
615
March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge
to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the
things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to say that I do not
understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord
is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that I do not have
the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would be the
greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord
wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great
number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to
realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to
resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it
persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery,
friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing
now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hellnothing
will deter me from doing the will of God.
I
am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me
the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of
fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists
this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a
great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry
out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from
me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will
be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with
full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O
merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence
which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along
the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My
God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter
whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving
me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my
Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the
other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I
continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength
declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother
Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance
and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and
she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly
heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual
sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much
relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the
consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
666
I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in
doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity;
there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what
God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of
God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles
Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary
peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great
difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O
Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to
know it, O God.
667
July 14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]]. O
Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say
anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort
me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I
am living now on what I will live on in eternity.I have great reverence for Saint
Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God,
and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
713
October 11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and
its great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and
fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little
frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my
little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did
not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is terrible,
and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on writing
quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God's willing
it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly and with such
great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment, and this
composure of mine makes him furious.
830
O Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my
will that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light
dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I
trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in
accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do
Your will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all
things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894
Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy
Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in
agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister,
that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any
kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that
the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss
Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the
Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I
became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord,
who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single
act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is
to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do
is pleasing to God!
924
Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the
bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of
self, and it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and
that is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
937
+ I will say a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or
Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few priests who know
how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can make
constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of
lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a
secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does
not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul
notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and
does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids the
smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little stones, there rises
within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul notices
that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects them
and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse still, will
begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going forward, it
gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation only when it
has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses
itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is to
say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame should be put on the
imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice
of a director. ! The director could well have led the soul along the road of
God's will to sanctity.
938
The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and
should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it.
What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner
will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He
himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning
the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just
as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers
and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently
for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And
let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had
prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before
choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to discern
whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose
another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this
change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this:
to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then,
without doubt, he will never attain it.
956
+ After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say,
I now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly
Father's special affection.
981
I understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have
undergone in submission to God's will in order to know it better have
advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years
now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am
bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And
on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner
torture is so great that no one will either understand or imagine these
spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up my
life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not even
going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what it is
like to know God's will directly and at the same time to be perfectly
obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors.
Thanks be to God that He has given me a director; otherwise, I would not have
advanced one single step.
1004
O will of the Omnipotent God,
You
are my delight,
You
are my joy.
Whatever
the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I
will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your
holy will is my repose;
In
it is contained all my sanctity,
And
all my eternal salvation,
For
doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The
will of God-those are His various wishes
Which
my soul carries out without reserve,
Because
such are His divine desires,
In
those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do
with me as You will, Lord.
I
place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For
You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And
to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
+
J.M.J. Cracow, March 1, 1937. + Third Notebook God and Souls.
1088
Sudden return of health.
After
I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly
became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear
sign of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed.
The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a
few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091
Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health.
I
neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that
I am enjoying good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I
asked for this health as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek
relief from my suffering.
1101
In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I
shall speak to you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza [191]]
so that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the first
meditation my soul was struck by the following words of the priest: I must
not oppose God's will and God's designs, whatever they might be; and as soon
as 1 am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I
have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever
the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out.
This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself
on my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants of me,
and what I ought to do.
August
15, 1937. Father Andrasz's instructions.
1243
"These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's wretchedness, which
God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can do by itself.
They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's graces. Secondly,
faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as
in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be absolutely
obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time, the
matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a little
bitter truth is necessary."
At
the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with
Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the
Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the
attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the
Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and
desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort
of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an
account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of
the Most Holy Mother."
1244
August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I
was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards
the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the
Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of
your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation
with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to
herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were
at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till
death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire
that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and
meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend
that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in
His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this
faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all
sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a
deep understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1276
September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a Holy Hour before the Blessed
Sacrament today, but God's will was otherwise. At eight o'clock I was seized
with such violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I was convulsed with
pain for three hours; that is, until eleven o'clock at night. No medicine had
any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains
caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I took
part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He himself allowed these sufferings
in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in the wombs of
wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three times now. They
always start at eight o'clock in the evening and last until eleven. No
medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes, they cease
by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel
very weak.
This
happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors
couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at
all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told
the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings,
and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I
understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this
known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again,
I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I
leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission
and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these
sufferings!
1301
It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning
this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's
wishes, although it was not until two years after the revelation that she
became my superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me
when the painting of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when some
things concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy cards
are being printed, again it is she who is going with me [to take care of]
this matter. God has ordained all this in a mysterious way, because this was
begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has so directed the circumstances that
this matter is being continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior
is to God; I see how God is directing everything and wants me to be under her
protection during these important times.... Thank You, Lord, for such
superiors, who live in the love and fear of God. That is why I pray for her
most of all, because she has put herself out the most for the sake of this
work of Divine Mercy....
1389
O my Jesus, although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them
slowly, and this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my
Jesus, You give me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them
to other souls. Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment of
apparent absolute destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by
anything, will begin. Such is the will of God in this, and it will not
change; although many persons will oppose it, nothing will change God's
will.*
1431
Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of
the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times,
as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there
draw strength to accept God's will. That which I have written is not yet
everything.
1525
One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me
that she could no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please
pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The
Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the grace, but that she would
once again be dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on praying
as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking for me,
and when we again began to talk about the same thing, I told her, "You
know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord God to give us what
we want, but we should rather submit to His holy will." But she thought
that what she was asking for was indispensable. Towards the end of the
novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister, the Lord Jesus has
given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please pray so that
things will somehow be different again." I answered, "Yes, I will
pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not what you
want."
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-19, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354, 395, 435)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-439, 444, 477, 479, 506, 515, 518)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 666-667, 713, 830, 894)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-924, 937-938, 956, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276, 1301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1525)
|
Nobyembre 30, 2016
A Decisive Response-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
Nobyembre 29, 2016
God’s Ways-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
God’s Ways
|
November 29, 2016. Tuesday of the First Week of Advent
|
Father Jon Budke, LC
Luke 10: 21-24
Jesus rejoiced in
the Holy Spirit and said, “I give you praise, Father, Lord of heaven and
earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the
learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been
your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No
one knows who the Son is except the Father, and who the Father is except the
Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.” Turning to the
disciples in private he said, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.
For I say to you, many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, but
did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.”
Introductory
Prayer: Christ, I believe that You can put my talents to good use. I hope that
You will allow me to come to know You better each day. I love You and trust
that You are guiding me through life. Not only are You guiding me in my life;
You are also letting others be edified by my example.
Petition: Lord, help me to
trust in You through every circumstance of life.
1. God Reveals
Himself to the Childlike: We long to know Christ better. How
we yearn to understand a little more about God and his infinite love! Our
small intellects can barely lay hold of any notion or attribute of the Divine
Persons. Even if we were to study long hours, we would come to the conclusion
that our learning is nothing. True knowledge of Christ and of God doesn’t
come by learning from books. True knowledge of Christ and of God is revealed
to those who learn to quiet their souls in prayer. We need to imitate the
resourceful little child who falls on the ground and then runs to his mother
to be scooped up in a loving embrace. If we can remember our littleness on
one hand and God’s pure, loving benevolence on the other, we’ll permit—even
delight in—his wiping away from our faces the blood and tears caused by our
sins. Only when we surrender ourselves into God’s forgiving, tender hands can
we say that we know him.
2. God Chooses
the Childlike: Christ singles out each one of us for a particular mission in life. We
might think of the many people around us––educated, wise, learned people––who
would surely be better suited for the calling at hand, who could do a far
better job than we could. However, Christ isn’t looking always for the
cleverest person, the one with the quickest wit, or the one with the best
education. Many times he scrutinizes the corners of the globe for the soul
that is innocent, open to his plan, and willing to carry it out. Simplicity
and humility are the key words when it comes to being chosen by God to
participate more actively in his plan of redemption.
3. The Childlike
Can Entrust the Bigger Picture to God: How many prophets and kings longed
for the time of Christ, when the work of salvation would be fulfilled! During
their time of waiting they left us an example of constancy and dedication to
the things of God, despite never seeing many of the things promised them.
They played an active role in leading and guiding the people of their time,
but they didn’t see the fulfillment of all God’s entire design. God asks us
to be like them, planting the seeds of redemption that may not sprout for
years. We, like the prophets, aren’t always given the grace to see the entire
picture. That is part of being childlike: trusting that God our Father knows
what he is doing. Cardinal John Henry Newman prayed in his famous poem, The
Pillar of the Cloud:
“Keep thou my
feet: I do not ask to see
the distant scene – one step enough for me”.
Do I entrust the
big picture of my life to God my Father, or do I try to yank the “video
control” from his loving hands?
Conversation with
Christ: Christ, I don’t ask for great understanding or knowledge. Help me to
accept with the simplicity and trust of a child all that You want to do in
me. I don’t ask for great insight into the depths of Your divine attributes.
I just want to grow in friendship with You, and I know that means I need an
unshakeable confidence in Your infinite love for me. I want to allow You to
love me and direct me according to Your good will.
Resolution: I will open my
heart more widely to God’s plan for my life.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
27 First vows [First profession of temporary vows, April
30, 1928]. An ardent desire to empty myself for God by an active love, but a
love that would be imperceptible, even to the sisters closest to me.
However, even after the vows, darkness continued to reign in my soul for almost a half year. Once, when I was praying, Jesus pervaded all my soul, darkness melted away, and I heard these words within me: You are My joy; you are My heart's delight. From that moment I felt the Most Holy Trinity in my heart; that is to say, within myself. I felt that I was inundated with Divine light. Since then, my soul has been in intimate communion with God, like a child with its beloved Father.
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father Andrasz,
S.J.
First: You must
not turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to
your confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to
your own self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the
good of other souls, l urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect
them, but always do so in consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit. Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity. Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone." Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you." Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others." On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now." Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is
fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's
permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These
temptations are terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The
soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand
firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The
soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity
toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you;
why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and
it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it
does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is
a terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor!
The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every
effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the
soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice.
All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul
which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which
has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own
plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way
for His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is
tried. But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial
of trials, the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
102 After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell
and found me almost dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress
of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the
ground. My strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The
Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about
the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be distressed about
anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of obedience." Then she
said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is calling you to a high degree
of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close to Himself since He has
allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister,
because this is a sign that He wants you to have a high place in
heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these words. When I
went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free from
everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I perceived
the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
116 My Jesus, You know what my soul goes through at the
recollection of these sufferings. I have often marveled that the angels and
saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul suffering like that. Yet they
have special love for us at such moments. My soul has often cried out after
God, as a little child who cries as loudly as he can when his mother covers
her face and he cannot recognize her. O my Jesus, honor and glory to You for
these trials of love! Great and incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You
intended for my soul, O Lord, is steeped in Your mercy.
148 +A noble and delicate soul, even the most simple, but
one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in everything, finds Him everywhere,
and knows how to find Him in even the most hidden things. It finds all things
important, it highly appreciates all things, it thanks God for all things, it
draws profit for the soul from all things, and it gives all glory to God. It
places its trust in God and is not confused when the time of ordeals comes.
It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and makes little of human
opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it
rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a child to its
mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul passes on
without fear or difficulty.
184 +Holy Hour. During this
hour, l tried to meditate on the Lord's Passion. But my soul was filled with
joy, and suddenly I saw the Child Jesus. But His majesty penetrated me to
such an extent that I said, "Jesus, You are so little, and yet I know
that You are my Creator and Lord." And Jesus answered me, I am, and I
keep company with you as a child to teach you humility and simplicity.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
209 In my sufferings, I do not seek help from creatures,
but God is everything to me. And yet, it often seems that even the Lord does
not hear me. I arm myself with patience and silence, like a dove that does
not complain and feels no bitterness when its children are being taken away
from it. I want to soar into the very heat of the sun, and I do not want to
stop in its vapors. I will not grow weary, because it is on You that I am
leaning-O You, my Strength!
219 In the evening, the Lord said to me, My daughter,
let nothing frighten or disconcert you. Remain deeply at peace. Everything is
in My hands. I will give you to understand everything through Father Andrasz.
Be like a child towards him.
A Moment Before the Blessed Sacrament.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
227 +In the midst of trials I will try to see the loving
hand of God. Nothing is as constant as suffering-it always faithfully keeps
the soul company. O Jesus, I will let no one surpass me in loving You!
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, 228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me. With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things! The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina. 229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters. 230 Jesus, living Host, You are my Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
240 Three requests on the day of my perpetual vows. Jesus,
I know that today You will refuse me nothing.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my lifetime. Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents. Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of its enemies. Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to free all souls from purgatory. Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70] to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things. Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me, and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your Heart-it is all I need. Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son. +Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne. In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
242 +O God, how much I desire to be a small child.[71] You are my Father, and You know how little
and weak I am. So I beg You, keep me close by Your side all my life and
especially at the hour of my death. Jesus, I know that Your goodness
surpasses the goodness of a most tender mother.
244 Now a gray, ordinary day has begun. The solemn hours
of the perpetual vows have passed, but God's great grace has remained in my
soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am His child, I feel I am wholly God's
property. I experience this in a way that can be physically sensed. I am
completely at peace about everything, because I know it is the Spouse's
business to look after me. I have forgotten about myself completely. My trust
placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I am continuously united with
Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be happy without me, nor could
I without Him. Although I understand that, being God, He is happy in himself
and has absolutely no need of any creature, still, His goodness compels Him
to give himself to the creature, and with a generosity which is beyond
understanding.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
260 I had permission to visit Czestochowa while on my
journey. I saw the Mother of God [image] for the first time, when I went to
attend the unveiling of the image at five in the morning. I prayed without
interruption until eleven, and it seemed to me that I had just come. The
superior of the house there [Mother Serafin[75]] sent a sister for me, to tell me to come
to breakfast and said she was worried that I would miss my train. The Mother
of God told me many things. I entrusted my perpetual vows to Her. I felt that
I was her child and that She was my Mother. She did not refuse any of my
requests.
264 +O my Jesus, keep me near to You! See how weak I am! I
cannot go a step forward by myself; so You, Jesus, must stand by me
constantly like a mother by a helpless child-and even more so.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of knowing myself. In this
divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride which takes the form of my
closing up within myself and of a lack of simplicity in my relations with
Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment. The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes. Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A hidden flower is the most
fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my soul a resting place for
the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful moments, O my Creator, I sing
You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss of my trust in You and in
Your mercy!
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
284 O Jesus, if only I could become like mist before Your
eyes, to cover the earth so that You would not see its terrible crimes.
Jesus, when I look at the world and its indifference towards You, again and
again it brings tears to my eyes; but when I look at a cold soul of a
religious, my heart bleeds.
295 +At that moment Jesus asked me, My child, how is
your retreat going? I answered, "But Jesus, You know how it is
going." Yes, I know, but I want to hear it from your own lips and
from your heart. "O my Master, when You are leading me, everything
goes smoothly, and I ask You, Lord, to never leave my side." And Jesus
said, Yes, I will be with you always, if you always remain a little child
and fear nothing. As I was your beginning here, so I will also be your end.
Do not rely on creatures, even in the smallest things, because this
displeases Me. I want to be alone in your soul. I will give light and
strength to your soul, and you will learn from My representative that I am in
you, and your uncertainty will vanish like mist before the rays of the sun.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to love You as no one on earth
has ever loved You before! I want to adore You with every moment of my life
and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My life is not drab or
monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant flowers, so that I
don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering or the rose of
love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will not enumerate these
treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great thing to know how to
make use of the present moment.
297 +Jesus, Supreme Light, grant me the grace of knowing
myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your light, and fill the abyss of my
soul with Your own self, for You alone [...]
298 O my Jesus, the Life, the Way and the Truth, I beg You
to keep me close to You as a mother holds a baby to her bosom, for I am not
only a helpless child, but an accumulation of misery and nothingness.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my nature
be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away from
the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor
transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life
within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these
minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see
nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes
the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony
with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
332
+Thursday. When I started the Holy Hour, I wanted to immerse myself in the
agony of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. Then I heard a voice in my soul:
Meditate on the mystery of the Incarnation. And suddenly the Infant Jesus
appeared before me, radiant with beauty. He told me how much God is pleased
with simplicity in a soul. Although My greatness is beyond understanding,
I commune only with those who are little. I demand of you a childlike spirit.
333 I
now see clearly how God acts through the confessor and how faithfully He
keeps His promises. Two weeks ago, my confessor told me to reflect upon this
spiritual childhood. It was somewhat difficult at first, but my confessor,
disregarding my difficulties, told me to continue to reflect upon spiritual
childhood. "In practice, this spiritual childhood," [he said,]
"should manifest itself in this way: a child does not worry about the
past or the future, but makes use of the present moment. I want to emphasize
that spiritual childlikeness in you, Sister, and I place great stress upon
it." I can see how God bows down to my confessor's wishes; He does not
show himself to me at this time as a Teacher in the fullness of His strength
and human adulthood, but as a little Child. The God who is beyond all
understanding stoops to me under the appearance of a little Child.
334 But
the eye of my soul does not stop at this appearance. Although You take the form
of a little Child, I see in You the immortal, infinite Lord of lords, whom
pure spirits adore, day and night, and for whom the hearts of the Seraphim
burn with the fire of purest love. O Christ, O Jesus, I want to surpass them
in my love for You! I apologize to you, O pure spirits, for my boldness in
comparing myself to you. I, this chasm of misery, this abyss of misery; and
You, O God, who are the incomprehensible abyss of mercy, swallow me up as the
heat of the sun swallows up a drop of dew! A loving look from You will fill
up any abyss. I feel immensely happy at the greatness of God. Seeing God's
greatness is more than enough to make me happy throughout all eternity!
335 Once, when I saw Jesus in
the form of a small child, I asked, "Jesus, why do you now take on the
form of a child when You commune with me? In spite of this, I still see in
You the infinite God, my Lord and Creator. Jesus replied that until I learned
simplicity and humility, He would commune with me as a little child.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
567 All the sisters should
respect the superior as the Lord Jesus himself, as I mentioned when speaking
about the vow of obedience. They should behave toward her with childlike
trust, and should never murmur or find fault with her commands, as this is very
displeasing to God. Let each be guided by a spirit of faith in her
relationship to superiors; let her ask with simplicity for all that she
needs. God forbid that it ever happen or be repeated that any of the sisters
would be a cause of sorrow or tears to the superior. Let each one know that
as the fourth commandment obliges a child to honor its parents, in like
manner is the religious bound to respect her superior. Only a bad religious
would take the liberty of judging her superior. Let the sisters be sincere
with the superior, telling her about everything and about their needs with
childlike simplicity.
The sisters will address the superior thus: "With your leave, Sister Superior." They shall never kiss her hand, but whenever they meet her in the corridor or enter her cell, they should say, "Praised be Jesus Christ," bowing their heads slightly. They shall address each other as "Sister," adding the proper name. Their relationship toward the superior should be marked by a spirit of faith and not by sentimentality or flattery, as these are unworthy of a religious and would degrade her very much. A religious should be as free as a queen, and will be such only when she lives in the spirit of faith. We should obey and respect the superior, not because she is good, holy or prudent, but solely because she represents God, and by obeying her we are obeying God himself.
921 February 6, [1937]. Today, the Lord said to me, My
daughter, I am told that there is much simplicity in you, so why do you not
tell Me about everything that concerns you, even the smallest details? Tell
Me about everything, and know that this will give Me great joy. I
answered, "But You know about everything, Lord." And Jesus replied
to me, Yes, I do know; but you should not excuse yourself with the fact
that I know, but with childlike simplicity talk to Me about everything, for
My ears and heart are inclined towards you, and your words are dear to Me.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I- 27, 55, 97, 102, 116, 148, 184, 209,
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-219-220, 227-230, 240, 242, 244-245)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-260, 264, 274-275, 283-284, 295-298)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-306, 332-335, 497)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-567, 921)
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