The Gift of Faith
September 30, 2017. Saturday of the Twenty-Fifth Week in Ordinary Time
Luke 9:43b-45
While they were all
amazed at his every deed, Jesus said to his disciples, "Pay attention to
what I am telling you. The Son of Man is to be handed over to men." But
they did not understand this saying; its meaning was hidden from them so that
they should not understand it, and they were afraid to ask him about this
saying.
Introductory Prayer: Lord, You are the
author of life and the giver of all that is good. You are the Prince of Peace
and my mainstay. You are my healer and the cure itself. I need You, and I need to give You. I love You and
commit myself to you entirely, knowing You could never let me down or deceive
me. Thank You for giving me Your very self.
Petition: Lord Jesus,
strengthen my weak faith and guide me along Your paths.
1. Blind Faith in
Science: There are so many everyday, day-to-day things that we take for granted.
We have a certain “blind faith” in them: the electricity in our room, the
engineering feat of the skyscraper we work in, etc. It just comes
naturally to us. We don’t put much thought into them. We trust that they will
continue to work. Unfortunately, when our “faith” crosses the line of empirical
knowledge – like electricity and engineering – into the realm of the spiritual,
we can find obstacles to our believing.
2. Supernatural
Faith: Understanding of what Our Lord states about his passion and death in
today’s Scriptures can only be obtained through a “supernatural faith.” This
faith is a gift we must seek from God in all humility, so that it will shed
light on the whole of our lives. It will bring a knowledge greater than just a
purely human one. Trusting in Jesus, let us ask him for this faith.
3. Afraid to Ask: The disciples in
today’s Gospel passage were afraid to question Jesus. Questioning something we
do not understand is not necessarily bad; it is quite normal and reveals a
childlike attitude. Christ always has an answer to our questions – an
intelligible answer – even though our mind may not fully grasp its breadth. In
fact, Christ does not want us to accept his teaching and values in a passive
way. He wants us to accept freely, not so much because we understand fully, but
rather because we trust and love the God who reveals himself to us.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord Jesus, it is so easy for me to look at life from a purely human
standpoint. Grant me the eyes of faith to see all things from Your viewpoint.
May my faith enlighten my path all the days of my life.
Resolution: In my prayer today
I will beg, in all humility, for the gift of faith in Jesus Christ.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
O My God
2 When I look into the future, I am frightened, But why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory.
2 When I look into the future, I am frightened, But why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory.
27 First vows [First profession
of temporary vows, April 30, 1928]. An ardent desire to empty myself for God by
an active love, but a love that would be imperceptible, even to the sisters
closest to me.
However, even after the vows, darkness continued to reign in my soul for almost a half year. Once, when I was praying, Jesus pervaded all my soul, darkness melted away, and I heard these words within me: You are My joy; you are My heart's delight. From that moment I felt the Most Holy Trinity in my heart; that is to say, within myself. I felt that I was inundated with Divine light. Since then, my soul has been in intimate communion with God, like a child with its beloved Father.
However, even after the vows, darkness continued to reign in my soul for almost a half year. Once, when I was praying, Jesus pervaded all my soul, darkness melted away, and I heard these words within me: You are My joy; you are My heart's delight. From that moment I felt the Most Holy Trinity in my heart; that is to say, within myself. I felt that I was inundated with Divine light. Since then, my soul has been in intimate communion with God, like a child with its beloved Father.
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father
Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from
these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to your confessor. If
you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is
to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l
urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in
consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
102 After some time, one of the
sisters came into the cell and found me almost dead. She was frightened and
went to find the Directress of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience
ordered me to get up from the ground. My strength returned immediately, and I
got up, trembling. The Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul
and spoke to me about the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be
distressed about anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of
obedience." Then she said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is
calling you to a high degree of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close
to Himself since He has allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be
faithful to God, Sister, because this is a sign that He wants you to have a
high place in heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these
words. When I went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free
from everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I
perceived the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
116 My Jesus, You know what my
soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I have often
marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul
suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such moments. My soul
has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries as loudly as he can
when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her. O my Jesus, honor
and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and incomprehensible is your
mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is steeped in Your mercy.
148 +A noble and delicate soul,
even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in
everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most
hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all things,
it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all things, and
it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not confused when
the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and
makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the
Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a
child to its mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul
passes on without fear or difficulty.
184 +Holy Hour. During this hour,
l tried to meditate on the Lord's Passion. But my soul was filled with joy, and
suddenly I saw the Child Jesus. But His majesty penetrated me to such an extent
that I said, "Jesus, You are so little, and yet I know that You are my
Creator and Lord." And Jesus answered me, I am, and I keep company with
you as a child to teach you humility and simplicity.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
209 In my sufferings, I do not
seek help from creatures, but God is everything to me. And yet, it often seems
that even the Lord does not hear me. I arm myself with patience and silence,
like a dove that does not complain and feels no bitterness when its children
are being taken away from it. I want to soar into the very heat of the sun, and
I do not want to stop in its vapors. I will not grow weary, because it is on
You that I am leaning-O You, my Strength!
219 In the evening, the Lord said
to me, My daughter, let nothing frighten or disconcert you. Remain deeply at
peace. Everything is in My hands. I will give you to understand everything
through Father Andrasz. Be like a child towards him.
A Moment Before the Blessed
Sacrament.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
227 +In the midst of trials I
will try to see the loving hand of God. Nothing is as constant as suffering-it
always faithfully keeps the soul company. O Jesus, I will let no one surpass me
in loving You!
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
230 Jesus, living Host, You are
my Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust
that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a
child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
240 Three requests on the day of
my perpetual vows. Jesus, I know that today You will refuse me nothing.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my lifetime.
Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents. Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of its enemies.
Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to free all souls from purgatory.
Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70] to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things.
Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me, and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your Heart-it is all I need.
Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son.
+Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne.
In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my lifetime.
Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents. Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of its enemies.
Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to free all souls from purgatory.
Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70] to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things.
Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me, and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your Heart-it is all I need.
Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son.
+Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne.
In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
242 +O God, how much I desire to
be a small child.[71] You are my Father, and You know
how little and weak I am. So I beg You, keep me close by Your side all my life
and especially at the hour of my death. Jesus, I know that Your goodness
surpasses the goodness of a most tender mother.
244 Now a gray, ordinary day has
begun. The solemn hours of the perpetual vows have passed, but God's great
grace has remained in my soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am His child, I
feel I am wholly God's property. I experience this in a way that can be
physically sensed. I am completely at peace about everything, because I know it
is the Spouse's business to look after me. I have forgotten about myself
completely. My trust placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I am
continuously united with Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be happy
without me, nor could I without Him. Although I understand that, being God, He
is happy in himself and has absolutely no need of any creature, still, His
goodness compels Him to give himself to the creature, and with a generosity
which is beyond understanding.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
260 I had permission to visit
Czestochowa while on my journey. I saw the Mother of God [image] for the first
time, when I went to attend the unveiling of the image at five in the morning.
I prayed without interruption until eleven, and it seemed to me that I had just
come. The superior of the house there [Mother Serafin[75]]
sent a sister for me, to tell me to come to breakfast and said she was worried
that I would miss my train. The Mother of God told me many things. I entrusted
my perpetual vows to Her. I felt that I was her child and that She was my
Mother. She did not refuse any of my requests.
264 +O my Jesus, keep me near to
You! See how weak I am! I cannot go a step forward by myself; so You, Jesus,
must stand by me constantly like a mother by a helpless child-and even more so.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of
knowing myself. In this divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride
which takes the form of my closing up within myself and of a lack of simplicity
in my relations with Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A
hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my
soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful moments,
O my Creator, I sing You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss of my
trust in You and in Your mercy!
282 Once the Lord said to me, My
Heart was moved by great mercy towards you, My dearest child, when I saw you
torn to shreds because of the great pain you suffered in repenting for your
sins. I see your love, so pure and true that I give you first place among the
virgins. You are the honor and glory of My Passion. I see every abasement of
your soul, and nothing escapes my attention. I lift up the humble even to my
very throne, because I want it so.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
284 O Jesus, if only I could
become like mist before Your eyes, to cover the earth so that You would not see
its terrible crimes. Jesus, when I look at the world and its indifference towards
You, again and again it brings tears to my eyes; but when I look at a cold soul
of a religious, my heart bleeds.
290 Once,
when I was deeply moved by the thought of eternity and its mysteries, my soul
became fearful; and when I pondered about these a little longer, I started to
be troubled by various doubts. Then Jesus said to me, My child, do not be
afraid of the house of your Father. Leave these vain inquiries to the wise of
this world. I want to see you always as a little child. Ask your confessor
about everything with simplicity, and I will answer you through his lips.
294 +Once
the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar
who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers
thanks the more fervently. You too should not back away and say that you are
not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are
unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as many treasures from My Heart as
you can carry, for then you will please Me more. And I will tell you one more
thing: Take these graces not only for yourself, but also for others; that is,
encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite
mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will do
everything for them.
295 +At that moment Jesus asked
me, My child, how is your retreat going? I answered, "But Jesus,
You know how it is going." Yes, I know, but I want to hear it from your
own lips and from your heart. "O my Master, when You are leading me,
everything goes smoothly, and I ask You, Lord, to never leave my side."
And Jesus said, Yes, I will be with you always, if you always remain a
little child and fear nothing. As I was your beginning here, so I will also be
your end. Do not rely on creatures, even in the smallest things, because this
displeases Me. I want to be alone in your soul. I will give light and strength
to your soul, and you will learn from My representative that I am in you, and
your uncertainty will vanish like mist before the rays of the sun.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to
love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore You with
every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My life is
not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant flowers, so
that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering or the rose
of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will not enumerate these
treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great thing to know how to
make use of the present moment.
297 +Jesus, Supreme Light, grant
me the grace of knowing myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your light, and
fill the abyss of my soul with Your own self, for You alone [...]
298 O my Jesus, the Life, the Way
and the Truth, I beg You to keep me close to You as a mother holds a baby to
her bosom, for I am not only a helpless child, but an accumulation of misery
and nothingness.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me
the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try
to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations.
These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the
spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware
of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can
see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am
sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in
harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
315 +Mother of God, Your soul was plunged into a
sea of bitterness; look upon Your child and teach her to suffer and to love
while suffering. Fortify my soul that pain will not break it. Mother of grace,
teach me to live by [the power of] God.
357 +Most Holy Trinity, I trust in Your infinite
mercy. God is my Father and so I, His child, have every claim to His divine
Heart; and the greater the darkness, the more complete our trust should be.
377 Concerning Holy Confession. We should derive
two kinds of profit from Holy Confession:
1. We come to confession to be healed;
2. We come to be educated-like a small child, our
soul has constant need of education.
O my Jesus, I understand these words to their very
depths, and I know from my own experience that, on its own strength, the soul
will not go far; it will exert itself greatly and will do nothing for the glory
of God; it will err continually, because our mind is darkened and does not know
how to discern its own affairs. I shall pay special attention to two things:
firstly, I will choose, in making my confession, that which humiliates me most,
even if it be a trifle, but something that costs me much, and for that reason I
will tell it; secondly, I will practice contrition, not only during confession,
but during every self-examination, and I will arouse within myself an act of
perfect contrition, especially when I am going to bed. One more word: a soul
which sincerely wants to advance in perfection must observe strictly the advice
given by the spiritual director. There is as much holiness as there is
dependence.
395 [February] 15, 1935. A few days'
visit at my parents' home [92] to see my dying mother. When I learned
that my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she had asked that I
come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a host of emotions
were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves its mother, I wanted
very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God and resigned myself
completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in my heart, I followed
God's will. On the morning of my name day, February fifteen, Mother Superior
gave me a second letter from my family and granted me permission to go to my
parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of my dying mother. I began at
once to make the necessary preparations for the journey and left Vilnius in the
evening. I offered the whole night for my seriously ill mother, that God might
grant her the grace of losing none of the merits of her suffering.
406 After a short while, I saw the little Jesus,
who came out from the Host and rested in my hands. This lasted for a moment;
immense joy flooded my soul. The Child Jesus had the same appearance as He had
the time we entered the Chapel with Mother Superior-my former Directress, Mary
Joseph. The next day I was already back in my beloved Vilnius.
424 In the evening, I just about got into bed, and
I fell asleep immediately. Though I fell asleep quickly, I was awakened even
more quickly. A little child came and woke me up. The child seemed about a year
old, and I was surprised it could speak so well, as children of that age either
do not speak or speak very indistinctly The child was beautiful beyond words
and resembled the Child Jesus, and he said to me, Look at the sky. And
when I looked at the sky I saw the stars and the moon shining. Then the child
asked me, Do you see this moon and these stars? When I said yes, he
spoke these words to me, These stars are the souls of faithful Christians,
and the moon is the souls of religious. Do you see how great the difference is
between the light of the moon and the light of the stars? Such is the
difference in heaven between the soul of a religious and the soul of a faithful
Christian. And he went on to say that, True greatness is in loving God
and in humility.
427 A moment later, I again saw the child who had
awakened me. It was of wondrous beauty and repeated these words to me, True
greatness of the soul is in loving God and in humility. I asked the
child, "How do you know that true greatness of the soul is in loving God
and in humility? Only theologians know about such things and you haven't even
learned the catechism. So how do you know?" To this he answered, I
know; I know all things. And with that, He disappeared.
451 Once after Holy Communion, I heard these words:
You are Our dwelling place. At that moment, I felt in my soul the
presence of the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I felt
that I was the temple of God. I felt I was a child of the Father. I cannot
explain all this, but the spirit understands it well. O infinite Goodness, how
low You stoop to Your miserable creature!
481
Almost every feast of the Church gives me a deeper knowledge of God and a
special grace. That is why I prepare myself for each feast and unite myself
closely with the spirit of the Church. What a joy it is to be a faithful child
of the Church! Oh, how much I love Holy Church and all those who live in it! I
look upon them as living members of Christ, who is their Head. I burn with love
with those who love; I suffer with those who suffer, I am consumed with sorrow
at the sight of those who are cold and ungrateful; and I then try to have such
a love for God that it will make amends for those who do not love Him, those
who feed their Savior with ingratitude at its worst.
J.M.J. Cracow, October 20, 1935.
Eight-day Retreat.
492 Eternal God, Goodness itself, whose mercy is
incomprehensible to every intellect, whether human or angelic, help me, your feeble
child, to do Your holy will as You make it known to me. I desire nothing but to
fulfill God's desires. Lord, here are my soul and my body, my mind and my will,
my heart and all my love. Rule me according to Your eternal plans.
494 When
I was about to go to the parlor to see Father Andrasz, I felt frightened
because the secret is binding only in the confessional. This was a groundless
fear. One word from Mother Superior set me at ease about it. Meanwhile, when I
entered the chapel, I heard these words in my soul: I want you to be open
and simple as a child with My representative just as you are with Me; otherwise
I will leave you and will not commune with you.
Truly, God gave me the great grace of complete confidence, and after the conversation, God granted me the grace of deep peace and light concerning these matters.
Truly, God gave me the great grace of complete confidence, and after the conversation, God granted me the grace of deep peace and light concerning these matters.
495
Jesus, Eternal Light, enlighten my mind, strengthen my will, inflame my heart
and be with me as You have promised, for without You I am nothing. You know,
Jesus, how weak lam. l do not need to tell You this, for You yourself know
perfectly well how wretched I am. It is in You that all my strength lies.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your inspirations,
since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own, though
interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will of my
superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will permit
me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be helped, but I
give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with which You speak to
me.
505 All
my nothingness is drowned in the sea of Your mercy. With the confidence of a
child, I throw myself into Your arms, O Father of Mercy, to make up for the
unbelief of so many souls who are afraid to trust in You. Oh, how very few
souls really know You! How ardently I desire that the Feast of Mercy be known
by souls! Mercy is the crown of Your works; You provide for all with the love
of a most tender mother.
529 On the evening of the last
day [November 15] of the novena at Ostra Brama, after the singing of the
litany, one of the priests exposed the Blessed Sacrament in the monstrance.
When he placed it on the altar, I immediately saw the Infant Jesus, stretching
out His little arms, first of all toward His Mother, who at that time had taken
on a living appearance. When the Mother of God was speaking to me, Jesus
stretched out His tiny hands toward the congregation. The Blessed Mother was
telling me to accept all that God asked of me like a little child, without
questioning; otherwise it would not be pleasing to God. At that moment, the
Infant Jesus vanished, and the Mother of God was again lifeless, and Her
picture was the same as it had been before. But my soul was filled with great
joy and gladness, and I said to the Lord, "Do with me as You please; I am
ready for everything, but You, O Lord, must not abandon me even for a
moment."
551 How
great should each one's love for the Church be! As a good child prays for the
mother it loves, so also should every Christian soul pray for the Church, its
Mother. What then should be said of us religious who have especially committed
ourselves to praying for the Church? How great, then, is our apostolate, hidden
though it be. All our little daily nothings will be placed at the feet of the
Lord Jesus as a propitiatory offering for the world; but in order that our
offering may be pleasing to God, it must be pure. And for it to be pure, the
heart must be freed of all natural attachments, and all its affections must be
directed towards the Creator, loving all creatures in Him and according to His
will; and, acting thus, each with a zealous spirit will bring joy to the Church.
566 One
day, after Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Infant Jesus standing by my
kneeler and holding on to it with His two little hands. Although He was but a
little Child, my soul was filled with awe and fear, for I see in Him my Judge,
my Lord, and my Creator, before whose holiness the Angels tremble. At the same
time, my soul was flooded with such unspeakable love that I thought I would die
under its influence. I now see that Jesus first strengthens my soul and makes
it capable of abiding with Him, for otherwise I would not be able to bear what
I experience at such a moment.
567 All the sisters should
respect the superior as the Lord Jesus himself, as I mentioned when speaking
about the vow of obedience. They should behave toward her with childlike trust,
and should never murmur or find fault with her commands, as this is very
displeasing to God. Let each be guided by a spirit of faith in her relationship
to superiors; let her ask with simplicity for all that she needs. God forbid
that it ever happen or be repeated that any of the sisters would be a cause of
sorrow or tears to the superior. Let each one know that as the fourth
commandment obliges a child to honor its parents, in like manner is the
religious bound to respect her superior. Only a bad religious would take the
liberty of judging her superior. Let the sisters be sincere with the superior,
telling her about everything and about their needs with childlike simplicity.
The sisters will address the superior thus: "With your leave, Sister Superior." They shall never kiss her hand, but whenever they meet her in the corridor or enter her cell, they should say, "Praised be Jesus Christ," bowing their heads slightly.
They shall address each other as "Sister," adding the proper name. Their relationship toward the superior should be marked by a spirit of faith and not by sentimentality or flattery, as these are unworthy of a religious and would degrade her very much. A religious should be as free as a queen, and will be such only when she lives in the spirit of faith. We should obey and respect the superior, not because she is good, holy or prudent, but solely because she represents God, and by obeying her we are obeying God himself.
The sisters will address the superior thus: "With your leave, Sister Superior." They shall never kiss her hand, but whenever they meet her in the corridor or enter her cell, they should say, "Praised be Jesus Christ," bowing their heads slightly.
They shall address each other as "Sister," adding the proper name. Their relationship toward the superior should be marked by a spirit of faith and not by sentimentality or flattery, as these are unworthy of a religious and would degrade her very much. A religious should be as free as a queen, and will be such only when she lives in the spirit of faith. We should obey and respect the superior, not because she is good, holy or prudent, but solely because she represents God, and by obeying her we are obeying God himself.
589 Love
casts out fear. Since I came to love God with my whole being and with all the
strength of my heart, fear has left me. Even if I were to hear the most
terrifying things about God's justice, I would not fear Him at all, because I
have come to know Him well. God is love, and His Spirit is peace. I see now
that my deeds which have flowed from love are more perfect than those which I
have done out of fear. I have placed my trust in God and fear nothing. I have
given myself over to His holy will; let Him do with me as He wishes, and I will
still love Him.
592 I learned in the Heart of
Jesus that in heaven itself there is a heaven to which not all, but only chosen
souls, have access. Incomprehensible is the happiness in which the soul will be
immersed. O my God, oh, that I could describe this, even in some little degree.
Souls are penetrated by His divinity and pass from brightness to brightness, an
unchanging light, but never monotonous, always new though never changing. O
Holy Trinity, make yourself known to souls!
593 O my Jesus, nothing is better for the soul than humiliations. In contempt is the secret of happiness, when the soul recognizes that, of itself, it is only wretchedness and nothingness, and that whatever it possesses of good is a gift of God. When the soul sees that everything is given it freely and that the only thing it has of itself is its own misery, this is what sustains it in a continual act of humble prostration before the majesty of God. And God, seeing the soul in such a disposition, pursues it with His graces. As the soul continues to immerse itself more deeply into the abyss of its nothingness and need, God uses His omnipotence to exalt it. If there is a truly happy soul upon earth, it can only be a truly humble soul. At first, one's self-love suffers greatly on this account, but after a soul has struggled courageously, God grants it much light by which it sees how wretched and full of deception everything is. God alone is in its heart. A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God. God defends the humble soul and lets Himself into its secrets, and the soul abides in unsurpassable happiness which no one can comprehend.
593 O my Jesus, nothing is better for the soul than humiliations. In contempt is the secret of happiness, when the soul recognizes that, of itself, it is only wretchedness and nothingness, and that whatever it possesses of good is a gift of God. When the soul sees that everything is given it freely and that the only thing it has of itself is its own misery, this is what sustains it in a continual act of humble prostration before the majesty of God. And God, seeing the soul in such a disposition, pursues it with His graces. As the soul continues to immerse itself more deeply into the abyss of its nothingness and need, God uses His omnipotence to exalt it. If there is a truly happy soul upon earth, it can only be a truly humble soul. At first, one's self-love suffers greatly on this account, but after a soul has struggled courageously, God grants it much light by which it sees how wretched and full of deception everything is. God alone is in its heart. A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God. God defends the humble soul and lets Himself into its secrets, and the soul abides in unsurpassable happiness which no one can comprehend.
603 January 29, 1936. In the
evening, when I was in my cell, I suddenly saw a great light and a dark gray
cross high up within the light. Suddenly, I found myself caught up close to the
cross. I gazed at it intently, but could not understand anything, and so I
prayed, asking what it could mean. At that moment I saw the Lord Jesus, and the
cross disappeared. The Lord Jesus was sitting in a great light, and His legs,
up to the knees, were drowned in the light so that I could not see them. Jesus
bent toward me, looked at me kindly and spoke to me about the will of the
Heavenly Father. He told me that the most perfect and holy soul is the one that
does the will of the Father, but there are not many such, and that He looks
with special love upon the soul who lives His will. And Jesus told me that I
was doing the will of God perfectly...and for this reason I am uniting
Myself with you and communing with you in a special and intimate way.
God embraces with His incomprehensible love the soul who lives by His will. I understood how much God loves us, how simple He is, though incomprehensible, and how easy it is to commune with Him, despite His great majesty. With no one do I feel as free and as much at ease as with Him. Even a mother and her truly loving child do not understand each other so well as God and I do. When I was in that state of communion with God, I saw two particular persons, and their sad interior condition was revealed to me. They were in a sorrowful state, but I trust that they, too, will glorify the mercy of God.
God embraces with His incomprehensible love the soul who lives by His will. I understood how much God loves us, how simple He is, though incomprehensible, and how easy it is to commune with Him, despite His great majesty. With no one do I feel as free and as much at ease as with Him. Even a mother and her truly loving child do not understand each other so well as God and I do. When I was in that state of communion with God, I saw two particular persons, and their sad interior condition was revealed to me. They were in a sorrowful state, but I trust that they, too, will glorify the mercy of God.
606 My
Jesus, despite Your graces, I see and feel all my misery. I begin my day with
battle and end it with battle. As soon as I conquer one obstacle, ten more
appear to take its place. But I am not worried, because I know that this is the
time of struggle, not peace. When the burden of the battle becomes too much for
me, I throw myself like a child into the arms of the heavenly Father and trust
I will not perish. O my Jesus, how prone I am to evil, and this forces me to be
constantly vigilant. But I do not lose heart. I trust God's grace, which
abounds in the worst misery.
626 In
the evening, during Benediction, my soul was for some time in communion with
God the Father. I felt I was in His hand like a little child, and I heard these
words in my soul: Do not fear anything, My daughter; all the adversaries
will be shattered at My feet. At these words, a deep peace and a great
interior calm entered my soul.
628 On
the evening of the last day before my departure from Vilnius, an elderly sister
[131] revealed the condition of her
soul to me. She said that she had already been suffering interiorly for several
years, that it seemed to her that all her confessions had been bad, and that
she had doubts as to whether the Lord Jesus had forgiven her. I asked her if
she had ever told her confessor about this. She answered that she had spoken
many times about this to her confessors and... "the confessors are always
telling me to be at peace, but still I suffer very much, and nothing brings me
relief, and it constantly seems to me that God has not forgiven me." I
answered, "You should obey your confessor, Sister, and be fully at peace,
because this is certainly a temptation."
But she entreated me with tears in her eyes to ask Jesus if He had forgiven her and whether her confessions had been good or not. I answered forcefully, "Ask Him yourself, Sister, if you don't believe your confessors!" But she clutched my hand and did not want to let me go until I gave her an answer, and she kept asking me to pray for her and to let her know what Jesus would tell me about her. Crying bitterly, she would not let me go and said to me, "I know that the Lord Jesus speaks to you, Sister." Since she was clutching my hand and I could not wrench myself away, I promised her I would pray for her. In the evening, during Benediction, I heard these words in my soul: Tell her that her disbelief wounds My heart more than the sins she committed. When I told her this, she began to cry like a child, and great joy entered her soul. I understood that God wanted to console this soul through me. Even though it cost me a good deal, I fulfilled God's wish.
But she entreated me with tears in her eyes to ask Jesus if He had forgiven her and whether her confessions had been good or not. I answered forcefully, "Ask Him yourself, Sister, if you don't believe your confessors!" But she clutched my hand and did not want to let me go until I gave her an answer, and she kept asking me to pray for her and to let her know what Jesus would tell me about her. Crying bitterly, she would not let me go and said to me, "I know that the Lord Jesus speaks to you, Sister." Since she was clutching my hand and I could not wrench myself away, I promised her I would pray for her. In the evening, during Benediction, I heard these words in my soul: Tell her that her disbelief wounds My heart more than the sins she committed. When I told her this, she began to cry like a child, and great joy entered her soul. I understood that God wanted to console this soul through me. Even though it cost me a good deal, I fulfilled God's wish.
629 When
I entered the chapel for a moment that same evening, to thank God for all the
graces He had bestowed on me in this house, suddenly God's presence enveloped
me. I felt like a child in the hands of the best of fathers, and I heard these
words: Do not fear anything. I am always with you. His love penetrated
my whole being. I felt I was entering into such close intimacy with Him that I
cannot find words to express it.
677
During a Mass celebrated by Father Andrasz, a moment before the Elevation,
God's presence pervaded my soul, which was drawn to the altar. Then I saw the
Mother of God with the Infant Jesus. The Infant Jesus was holding onto the hand
of Our Lady. A moment later, the Infant Jesus ran with joy to the center of the
altar, and the Mother of God said to me, See with what assurance I entrust
Jesus into his hands. In the same way, you are to entrust your soul and be like
a child to him.
-After these words, my soul was filled with unusual trust. The Mother of God was clothed in a white dress, strangely white, transparent; on Her shoulders She had a transparent blue; that is, a blue-like mantle; with uncovered head [and] flowing hair, She was exquisite, and inconceivably beautiful. She was looking at Father with great tenderness, but after a moment, He broke up this beautiful Child, and living blood flowed forth. Father bent forward and received the true and living Jesus into himself. Had he eaten Him? I do not know how this took place. Jesus, Jesus, I cannot keep up with You, for in an instant, You become incomprehensible to me.
-After these words, my soul was filled with unusual trust. The Mother of God was clothed in a white dress, strangely white, transparent; on Her shoulders She had a transparent blue; that is, a blue-like mantle; with uncovered head [and] flowing hair, She was exquisite, and inconceivably beautiful. She was looking at Father with great tenderness, but after a moment, He broke up this beautiful Child, and living blood flowed forth. Father bent forward and received the true and living Jesus into himself. Had he eaten Him? I do not know how this took place. Jesus, Jesus, I cannot keep up with You, for in an instant, You become incomprehensible to me.
709 October 3, 1936. During the rosary today, I
suddenly saw a ciborium with the Blessed Sacrament. The ciborium was uncovered
and quite filled with hosts. From the ciborium came a voice: These hosts
have been received by souls converted through your prayer and suffering.
At this point, I felt God's presence as a child would; I felt strangely
like a child.
722 +
Today, I heard these words: You see how weak you are, so when shall I be
able to count on you? I answered, "Jesus, be always with me, for I am
Your little child. Jesus, You know what little children do."
786 November 30, [1936]. During Vespers today, an
unusual pain pierced my soul. I see that, in every respect, this work is beyond
my strength. I am a little child before the immensity of the task, and it is
only at the Lord's clear command that I am setting about to carry it out. On
the other hand, even these great graces are a burden for me, and I am barely
able to carry them. I see my superiors' disbelief and doubts of all kinds and,
for this reason, their apprehensive behavior towards me. My Jesus, I see that
even such great graces can be [a source of] suffering. And yet, it is so; not
only may they be a cause of suffering, but they must be such, as a sign of
God's action. I understand well that if God himself did not strengthen the soul
in these various ordeals, the soul would not be able to master the situation.
Thus God himself is its shield.
As I continued Vespers, meditating on this mixture
of suffering and grace, I heard the voice of Our Lady: Know, My daughter,
that although I was raised to the dignity of Mother of God, seven swords
of pain pierced My heart. Don't do anything to defend yourself, bear everything
with humility; God himself will defend you.
December 1, [1936]. One-day retreat.
795 I have accepted the favor of this treatment,
but I am fully resigned to the will of God. Let God do with me as He pleases. I
desire nothing but the fulfillment of His holy will. I am uniting myself with
the Mother of God, and I am leaving Nazareth and going to Bethlehem. I will
spend Christmas there among strangers, but with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, because
such is the will of God. I am striving to do the will of God in all things. I
do not desire a return to health more than death. I entrust myself completely
to His infinite mercy and, as a little child, I am living in the greatest
peace. I am trying only to make my love for Him deeper and purer, to be a
delight to His divine glance...
895 January 23, [1937]. I did not
feel like writing today. Then I heard a voice in my soul:My daughter, you do
not live for yourself but for souls; write for their benefit. You know that My
will as to your writing has been confirmed many times by your confessors. You
know what is pleasing to Me, and if you have any doubts about what I am saying,
you also know whom you are to ask. I grant him light to pronounce judgment on
my case. My eye watches over him. My daughter, you are to be like a child
towards him, full of simplicity and candor. Put his judgment above all My demands.
He will guide you according to My will. If he doesn't allow you to carry out My
demands, be at peace; I will not judge you, but the matter will remain between
Me and him. You are to be obedient.
898 O my Jesus, You are giving me back my health
and life; give me also strength for battle, because I am unable to do anything
without You. Give me strength, for You can do all things. You see that I am a
frail child, and what can I do? I know the full power of Your mercy, and I
trust that You will give me everything Your feeble child needs. .
921 February 6, [1937]. Today,
the Lord said to me, My daughter, I am told that there is much simplicity in
you, so why do you not tell Me about everything that concerns you, even the
smallest details? Tell Me about everything, and know that this will give Me
great joy. I answered, "But You know about everything, Lord." And
Jesus replied to me, Yes, I do know; but you should not excuse yourself with
the fact that I know, but with childlike simplicity talk to Me about everything,
for My ears and heart are inclined towards you, and your words are dear to Me.
922 + When I began this big novena for three
intentions, I saw a tiny insect on the ground and thought: how did it get here
in the middle of winter? Then I heard the following words in my soul: You
see, I am thinking of it and sustaining it, and what is it compared to you? Why
was your soul fearful for a moment? I apologized to the Lord for that
moment. Jesus wants me to always be a child and to leave all care to Him, and
to submit blindly to His holy will. He took everything upon Himself.
944 + There are moments when I
mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and wretchedness in the most
profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed that I can endure such moments
only by trusting in the infinite mercy of God. Patience, prayer and
silence-these are what give strength to the soul. There are moments when one
should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to talk with creatures;
these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with oneself, and when the soul
feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul clings to God with all its
might. At such times, I live solely by faith, and when I feel strengthened by
God's grace, then I am more courageous in speaking and communicating with my
neighbors.
968 Since I have placed you in this priest's
special care, you are thus exempted from giving a detailed account to your
superiors concerning My relationship with you. In all other matters, be as a
child with your superiors, but whatever I do in the depths of your soul is to
be told, with all frankness, only to the priests.
1031 March 22, 1937. As I was talking, today, to a
certain person, I recognized that she was suffering greatly in spirit, although
exteriorly she pretended that she was very happy and was not suffering at all.
I felt inspired to tell her that what was troubling her was a temptation. When
I disclosed to her what was torturing her, she burst into tears and told me
that she had come to see me precisely to speak to me, because she felt that it
would bring her relief. The suffering was of such a kind that the soul was
being attracted by God's grace on the one hand and by the world on the other.
She was going through a terrible struggle that brought her to the point of
weeping like a little child. But she went away soothed and set at peace.
1033 +
When I see that the burden is beyond my strength, I do not consider or analyze
it or probe into it, but I run like a child to the Heart of Jesus and say only
one word to Him: "You can do all things." And then I keep silent,
because I know that Jesus himself will intervene in the matter, and as for me,
instead of tormenting myself, I use that time to love Him.
1097 Since that time, I have been living under the
virginal ', cloak of the Mother of God. She has been guarding me and
instructing me. I am quite at peace, close to Her Immaculate Heart. Because I
am so weak and inexperienced, I nestle like a little child close to Her heart.
1109 + 30. This is the day for
the renewal of vows.
Immediately upon my awakening, God's presence enveloped me, and I felt I was a child of God. Divine love was poured into my soul, and God gave me to see how everything depended on His will. He spoke these words to me: I want to grant a complete pardon to the souls that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion on the Feast of My mercy. Then He said to me, My daughter, fear nothing. I am always with you, even if it seems to you that I am not. Your humility draws Me down from My lofty throne, and I unite myself closely with you.
Immediately upon my awakening, God's presence enveloped me, and I felt I was a child of God. Divine love was poured into my soul, and God gave me to see how everything depended on His will. He spoke these words to me: I want to grant a complete pardon to the souls that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion on the Feast of My mercy. Then He said to me, My daughter, fear nothing. I am always with you, even if it seems to you that I am not. Your humility draws Me down from My lofty throne, and I unite myself closely with you.
1153 June 23, [1937]. As I was praying before the
Most Blessed Sacrament, my physical sufferings ceased suddenly, and I heard
this voice in my soul: You see, I can give you everything in one
moment. I am not constrained by any law.
June 24. After Holy Communion, I heard these words:
Know, My daughter, that in one
moment I can give you everything
that is needed for the fulfillment of this task. After these words, an
extraordinary light remained in my soul, and all God's demands seemed to
me to be so simple that even a little child could carry them out.
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I- 2, 27, 55, 102, 116, 148, 184, 209, 219)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-220, 227-230, 240, 242, 244-245, 260)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-260, 264, 274-275, 282-284, 290, 294)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-295-298, 306, 315, 357, 497, 377, 395)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-406,
424, 427, 451, 481, 492, 494-495)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-497)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-529, 551, 566-567, 589, 592-593, 603)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-606, 626, 628-629, 677, 709, 722, 786)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-795, 895, 898, 921-922, 944, 968)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1031, 1033, 1097, 1109, 1153)
