Payback Time
Memorial of Saint Jerome, priest and doctor of the Church (Sept. 30, 2011)
Father Edward McIlmail, LC
Luke 10: 13-16
Jesus said to them, "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would long ago have repented, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. But it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you. And as for you, Capernaum, ´Will you be exalted to heaven? You will go down to the netherworld.´" Whoever listens to you listens to me. Whoever rejects you rejects me. And whoever rejects me rejects the one who sent me."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe that You are with me as I begin this prayer. I trust in Your kindness and love. You know my weaknesses because you saw them all during the agony You underwent for me on Good Friday. I wish to stay as close to You in this prayer as Your Mother did to You at the foot of the cross. Accept this as the expression of my love for You.
Petition: Lord, help me to appreciate Your gifts and use them to the best of my ability, for Your glory.
1. The Privileged Few: Today we see another side of Jesus in the Gospel. Often we see him as the miracle worker, curing the sick, raising the dead. But now we see the flipside of these miracles: Christ demands a response from the people who have witnessed them. It´s not enough that people stare in wonderment at Our Lord´s mighty deeds. Those deeds, among other things, prove his divine origin and the truthfulness of his message. Part of that message demands repentance and conversion. Closer to our own day we can think of the tens of millions of people who personally saw Pope John Paul II in his many public appearances. How many of those people actually changed their lives after the encounter? How have I responded to God´s grace and favor in my life? Have I taken God´s graces for granted?
2. The Not-so-Blessed: God, in his mysterious design seems, to favor some souls with gifts not given to others. Here, Jesus acknowledges that Tyre and Sidon – pagan towns – would have responded better to his miracles than did Chorazin and Capernaum. That begs the question: Why didn´t Jesus perform more miracles in those Gentile towns? Alas, ours is not the place to question the wisdom of God. Suffice it to say that Christ gives some of us more than he gives others, and he expects to see a return on his investment. It´s not enough that we keep our faith untarnished and sitting on a shelf, hidden from the world. No. The gift of faith should prompt us to strive for holiness, for continual conversion of heart, and for zeal to build the Church. Does faith impact my life like that?
3. Domino Effect: Christ´s authority includes his ability to delegate it. To the Church, he gives the power to bind and to loose. "Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained" (John 20:23). Moreover, Number 891 of the Catechism observes that "The Roman Pontiff, head of the college of bishops, enjoys […] infallibility in virtue of his office, when, as supreme pastor and teacher of all the faithful -- who confirms his brethren in the faith -- he proclaims by a definitive act a doctrine pertaining to faith or morals." When we follow the Holy Father´s teaching, we honor the One who gave him authority. And Our Lord´s authority extends in other areas: to parents over their dependent children, to government officials who oversee the common good, etc. Do I respect the legitimate authority of those around me? Do I understand that obedience to legitimate authority is a form of obedience to God himself?
Conversation with Christ: Jesus, help me see that Your obedience to Pilate on Good Friday was part of Your obedience to Your loving Father in heaven. Let me understand that obedience to legitimate authority is a means of growth in humility and holiness.
Resolution: I will carry out one request that a legitimate authority (a boss, a parent, etc.) has been asking of me… and do it with joy.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
24 One day, just as I had awakened, when I was putting myself in the presence of God, I was suddenly overwhelmed by despair. Complete darkness in the soul. I fought as best I could till noon. In the afternoon, truly deadly fears began to seize me; my physical strength began to leave me. I went quickly to my cell, fell on my knees before the Crucifix and began to cry out for mercy. But Jesus did not hear my cries. I felt my physical strength leave me completely. I fell to the ground, despair flooding my whole soul. I suffered terrible tortures in no way different from the torments of hell. I was in this state for three quarters of an hour. I wanted to go and see the Directress, but was too weak. I wanted to shout but I had no voice. Fortunately, one of the sisters [another novice, Sister Placida Putyra] came into my cell. Finding me in such a strange condition, she immediately told the Directress about it. Mother came at once. As soon as she entered the cell she said, "In the name of holy obedience [16] get up from the ground." Immediately some force raised me up from the ground and I stood up, close to the dear Mother Directress. With kindly words she began to explain to me that this was a trial sent to me by God, saying, "Have great confidence; God is always our Father, even when He sends us trials."
I returned to my duties as if I had come out from the tomb, my senses saturated with what my soul had experienced. During the evening service, my soul began to agonize again in a terrible darkness. I felt that I was in the power of the Just God, and that I was the object of His indignation. During these terrible moments I said to God, "Jesus, who in the Gospel compare Yourself to a most tender mother," I trust in Your words because You are Truth and Life. In spite of everything, Jesus, I trust in You in the face of every interior sentiment which sets itself against hope. Do what You want with me; I will never leave You, because You are the source of my life." Only one who has lived through similar moments can understand how terrible is this torment of the soul.
I returned to my duties as if I had come out from the tomb, my senses saturated with what my soul had experienced. During the evening service, my soul began to agonize again in a terrible darkness. I felt that I was in the power of the Just God, and that I was the object of His indignation. During these terrible moments I said to God, "Jesus, who in the Gospel compare Yourself to a most tender mother," I trust in Your words because You are Truth and Life. In spite of everything, Jesus, I trust in You in the face of every interior sentiment which sets itself against hope. Do what You want with me; I will never leave You, because You are the source of my life." Only one who has lived through similar moments can understand how terrible is this torment of the soul.
28Once Jesus told me, Go to Mother Superior [probably Mother Raphael 18] and ask her to let you wear a hair shirt for seven days, and once each night you are to get up and come to the chapel. I said yes, but I found a certain difficulty in actually going to the Superior. In the evening Jesus asked me, How long will you put it off? I made up my mind to tell Mother Superior the very next time I would see her.
The next day before noon I saw Mother Superior going to the refectory and, since the kitchen, refectory and Sister Aloysia's little room are all close to each other, I asked Mother Superior to come into Sister Aloysia's room and told her of the wish of the Lord Jesus. At that, Mother answered, "I will not permit you to wear any hair shirt. Absolutely not! If the Lord Jesus were to give you the strength of a colossus, I would then permit those mortifications."
I apologized for taking up Mother's time and left the room. At that very moment I saw Jesus standing at the kitchen door, and I said to Him, "You commanded me to ask for these mortifications, but Mother Superior will not permit them." Jesus said, I was here during your conversation with the Superior and know everything. I don't demand mortification from you, but obedience. By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself.
The next day before noon I saw Mother Superior going to the refectory and, since the kitchen, refectory and Sister Aloysia's little room are all close to each other, I asked Mother Superior to come into Sister Aloysia's room and told her of the wish of the Lord Jesus. At that, Mother answered, "I will not permit you to wear any hair shirt. Absolutely not! If the Lord Jesus were to give you the strength of a colossus, I would then permit those mortifications."
I apologized for taking up Mother's time and left the room. At that very moment I saw Jesus standing at the kitchen door, and I said to Him, "You commanded me to ask for these mortifications, but Mother Superior will not permit them." Jesus said, I was here during your conversation with the Superior and know everything. I don't demand mortification from you, but obedience. By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself.
105 However, in all these sufferings and struggles, I was not omitting Holy Communion. When it seemed to me that I should not communicate, I went, before Holy Communion, to the Directress and told her that I could not approach the Sacrament, because it seemed to me that I should not do so. But she would not permit me to omit Holy Communion, so I went, and I understand now that it was only obedience that saved me.
The Directress herself told me later that my trials had passed quickly, "and this solely because you were obedient, Sister; and it was through the power of obedience that you struggled through this so bravely." It is true that it was the Lord himself who brought me out of this torment, but my fidelity to obedience did please Him.
The Directress herself told me later that my trials had passed quickly, "and this solely because you were obedient, Sister; and it was through the power of obedience that you struggled through this so bravely." It is true that it was the Lord himself who brought me out of this torment, but my fidelity to obedience did please Him.
354 As I was talking to a certain person[84] who was to paint the image but, for certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice in my soul: I want her to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no matter how great, are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know Your will in the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes from morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our superiors through whom God speaks.
365 My spiritual director replaced it with an interior mortification; namely, throughout Holy Mass I was to meditate on why the Lord Jesus had submitted to being baptized. The meditation was no mortification for me, for thinking about God is a delight and not a mortification; but there was a mortification of the will in that I was not doing [simply] what I like, but what I was told to do, and it is in this that interior mortification consists. When I left the confessional and started to recite my penance, I heard these words: I have granted the grace you asked for on behalf of that soul, but not because of the mortification you chose for yourself. Rather, it was because of your act of complete obedience to My representative that I granted this grace to that soul for whom you interceded and begged mercy. Know that when you mortify your own self-will, then Mine reigns within you.
366 O my Jesus, be patient with me. I will be more careful in the future. I will rely, not upon myself, but upon Your grace and Your very great goodness to miserable me.
367 +On one occasion, Jesus gave me to know that when I pray for intentions which people are wont to entrust to me, He is always ready to grant His graces, but souls do not always want to accept them: My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners. If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers to them and that it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy. I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces.
So I turn to you, you-chosen souls, will you also fail to understand the love of My Heart? Here, too, My Heart finds disappointment; I do not find complete surrender to My love. So many reservations, so much distrust, so much caution. To comfort you, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell In their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to Angels and men. Their number is very small. They are a defense for the world before the justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence. The infidelity of a soul specially chosen by Me wounds My Heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.
366 O my Jesus, be patient with me. I will be more careful in the future. I will rely, not upon myself, but upon Your grace and Your very great goodness to miserable me.
367 +On one occasion, Jesus gave me to know that when I pray for intentions which people are wont to entrust to me, He is always ready to grant His graces, but souls do not always want to accept them: My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners. If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers to them and that it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy. I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces.
So I turn to you, you-chosen souls, will you also fail to understand the love of My Heart? Here, too, My Heart finds disappointment; I do not find complete surrender to My love. So many reservations, so much distrust, so much caution. To comfort you, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell In their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to Angels and men. Their number is very small. They are a defense for the world before the justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence. The infidelity of a soul specially chosen by Me wounds My Heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.
381 When meditating once on obedience, I heard these words: In this meditation, the priest [90] is speaking particularly for you. Know that I am borrowing his lips. I tried to listen most attentively to everything and to apply everything to my own heart, as in every meditation. When the priest said that an obedient soul was filled with the power of God... Yes, when you are obedient I take away your weakness and replace it with My strength. I am very surprised that souls do not want to make that exchange with Me. I said to the Lord, "Jesus, enlighten my heart, or else I, too, will not understand much from these words."
894 Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister, that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
1023 + Today, I received some oranges. When the sister had left, I thought to myself, "Should I eat the oranges instead of doing penance and mortifying myself during Holy Lent? After all, I am feeling a bit better." Then I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, you please Me more by eating the oranges out of obedience and love of Me than by fasting and mortifying yourself of your own will. A soul that loves Me very much must, ought to live by My will. I know your heart, and I know that it will not be satisfied by anything but My love alone.
1023 + Today, I received some oranges. When the sister had left, I thought to myself, "Should I eat the oranges instead of doing penance and mortifying myself during Holy Lent? After all, I am feeling a bit better." Then I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, you please Me more by eating the oranges out of obedience and love of Me than by fasting and mortifying yourself of your own will. A soul that loves Me very much must, ought to live by My will. I know your heart, and I know that it will not be satisfied by anything but My love alone.
1378 I felt worse today, and I went to Mother Superior, intending to ask her for permission to go to bed. However, before I could ask for permission, Mother Superior said to me, "Sister, you must somehow manage by yourself at the gate, because I am taking the girl to work at the cabbage, since there is no one else for the cabbage." I said-good, and left the room. When I got to the gate, I felt unusually strong, and I was at my post all day and felt well. I experienced the power of holy obedience.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-24, 28, 105, 354, 365-367, 381)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-894)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1023)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1378)
http://www.regnumchristi.org/english/articulos/semanal.phtml?se=363&ca=975&te=866
http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml
