Lack of Faith
Friday of the
Seventeenth Week in Ordinary Time
Matthew 13:54-58
Jesus came to his
native place and taught the people in their synagogue. They were astonished and
said, "Where did this man get such wisdom and mighty deeds? Is he not the
carpenter´s son? Is not his mother named Mary and his brothers James, Joseph,
Simon, and Judas? Are not his sisters all with us? Where did this man get all
this?" And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, "A
prophet is not without honor except in his native place and in his own
house." And he did not work many mighty deeds there because of their lack
of faith.
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in Your power. I know that You
are the Lord of all history. I trust that You are guiding my life. Thank You
for showing me that You will triumph. Thank You for the triumph You have
already achieved in my heart and in the hearts of so many people. I want to
allow You to have total control over my life.
Petition: Lord, increase my faith in You.
1. Too Much
Familiarity: The people of Nazareth
thought they knew all about Jesus. He had grown up among them. Apparently they
had not seen anything extraordinary about him before he started his public
ministry. They thought he was just like everyone else. So when they hear that
he is doing miracles and teaching with authority, they do not believe it.
Sometimes I also run the danger of putting limits on Christ’s power in my life.
I see the unimpressive circumstances of my life and the recurrence of the same
old problems. I do not believe that Christ can do something supernatural in the
midst of an ordinary situation. Today I am receiving an invitation to step
beyond the routine and believe more deeply in the power of Christ.
2. An Unwelcome
Prophet: The solution to their
deepest problems was in their own backyard. Yet, the people of Nazareth felt
that such a familiar figure could not bring anything extraordinary. When the
Church sometimes challenges me with some of her teachings – on charity, on
family life, on the need to be a courageous witness –, do I sometimes find
excuses, like saying that my circumstances are too difficult, or the Church
does not understand my situation? Do I sometimes let the prophetic voice of the
Church die in my heart? When I feel challenged by the Gospel and by the Church
I should be thankful. Christ is inviting me to discover the deepest meaning of
my life. He is giving me a chance to allow his presence to make a deep change
in my life. He is allowing me to discover him in faith and is taking me beyond
my comfort zone to the level of the coming of his Kingdom.
3. A Miracle Worker in
Waiting: What sort of miracles
does Christ want to do in my life? Christ has a plan to make my life a luminous
witness to the power of his grace. He wants to fill my life with his holiness
and help me be a light for others. If I can shake off my superficiality and
lack of faith, I will discover the powerful presence of the Savior who helps me
live each moment with depth and love. He can do miracles in my life. He can
help me live the virtues which are most costly for me. Am I willing to take a
risk for Christ and trust him totally?
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, I know You want
to do great things in my life. Help me to see how You can transform the
ordinary, seemingly unimportant circumstances of my day into moments when Your
grace triumphs. Enable me to be docile to your Holy Spirit, so he can do
miracles in my life.
Resolution: I will increase my faith in Christ by taking a
risk for him in some aspect of my spiritual or apostolic life.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
92 Humiliation is
my daily food. I understand that the bride must herself share in everything
that is the groom's; and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those times
when I suffer much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue which,
at such moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to help me
praise God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I
receive Jesus in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue
so that I would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to
praise God without cease. Great are the faults committed by the tongue. The
soul will not attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its tongue.
94 O my Lord,
inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may not grow weary amidst
the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how weak I am. Love can do
all.
95 +A Deeper
Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him.
But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him.
But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
96 +Trials sent by God to a soul which is particularly loved
by Him.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith staggers
under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God
by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and
love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the soul
in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would
be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to
befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths
and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one
understands you; why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in
its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It
sees what it does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And,
oh, it is a terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced
confessor! The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make
every effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for
the soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the
precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to
a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and
which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own
plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for
His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried.
But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials,
the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of
Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
106 Though these
are frightening things, the soul should not be too fearful, because God will
never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On the other hand, He may never
send us such sufferings, but I write this because, if it pleases the Lord to
let a soul pass through such sufferings, it should not be afraid but, insofar
as this depends on the soul itself, it should remain faithful to God. God will
do a soul no harm, because He is Love itself, and in this unfathomable love has
called it into being. However, when I was so tormented, I myself did not
understand this.
107 O my God, I
have come to know that I am not of this earth; You, O Lord, have poured this
profound awareness into my soul. My communion is more with heaven than with
earth, though I in no way neglect my duties.
115 + When a soul has come out of these tribulations, it is
deeply humble. Its purity of soul is great. It knows better without need of
reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a given moment and what to
forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is very faithful to God. It
recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices in Him. It discovers God
very quickly in other souls and in its environment in general. The soul has
been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit, introduces the soul to a
life which is purely spiritual. God himself has first prepared and purified the
soul; that is, He has made it capable of close communion with himself. The
soul, in a state of loving repose, communes spiritually with the Lord. It
speaks to God without the need of expressing itself through the senses. God
fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
140 Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not
broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong in the midst of great
difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and drab life of each day.
It knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest
things out of great love-love, and always love.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
200 O Jesus, how deeply it hurts the soul when it is always
trying to be sincere and they accuse it of hypocrisy and behave with mistrust
toward it. O Jesus, You also suffered like this to make satisfaction to Your
Father.
580 On a certain occasion, the Lord said to me, I am more
deeply wounded by the small imperfections of chosen souls than by the sins of
those living in the world. It made me very sad that chosen souls make Jesus
suffer, and Jesus told me, These little imperfections are not all. I will
reveal to you a secret of My Heart: what I suffer from chosen souls.
Ingratitude in return for so many graces is My Heart's constant food, on the
part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear
it; these souls force Me to reject them. Others distrust My goodness and have
no desire to experience that sweet intimacy in their own hearts, but go in
search of Me, off in the distance, and do not find Me. This distrust of My
goodness hurts Me very much. If My death has not convinced you of My love, what
will? Often a soul wounds Me mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use
My graces to offend Me. There are souls who despise My graces as well as all
the proofs of My love. They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the
abyss of hell. The loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God
though I am, I cannot help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free
will, it can spurn Me or love Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell
all the world about My goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart.
654 Now I understand that confession is only the confessing
of one's sins, and spiritual guidance is a different thing altogether. But this
is not what I want to speak about. I want to tell about a strange thing that
happened to me for the first time. When the confessor started talking to me, I
did not understand a single word. Then I saw Jesus Crucified and He said to me,
It is in My Passion that you must seek light and strength. After the
confession, I meditated on Jesus' terrible Passion, and I understood that what
I was suffering was nothing compared to the Savior's Passion, and that even the
smallest imperfection was the cause of this terrible suffering. Then my soul
was filled with very great contrition, and only then I sensed that I was in the
sea of the unfathomable mercy of God. Oh, how few words I have to express what
I am experiencing! I feel I am like a drop of dew engulfed in the depths of the
bottomless ocean of divine mercy.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all
sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is
maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light
and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against
the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It
resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An
extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite
great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O
Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know
it, O God.
1165 Know this, My daughter: if you strive for perfection
you will sanctify many souls; and if you do not strive for sanctity, by the
same token, many souls will remain imperfect. Know that their perfection will
depend on your perfection, and the greater part of the responsibility for these
souls will fall on you.
1293 It so happened that I fell again into a certain error,
in spite of a sincere resolution not to do so-even though the lapse was a minor
imperfection and rather involuntary-and at this I felt such acute pain in my
soul that I interrupted my work and went to the chapel for a while. Falling at
the feet of Jesus, with love and a great deal of pain, I apologized to the
Lord, all the more ashamed because of the fact that in my conversation with Him
after Holy Communion this very morning I had promised to be faithful to Him.
Then I heard these words: If it hadn't been for this small imperfection, you
wouldn't have come to Me. Know that as often as you come to Me, humbling
yourself and asking My forgiveness, I pour out a superabundance of graces on
your soul, and your imperfection vanishes before My eyes, and I see only your
love and your humility. You lose nothing but gain much...
1566 When I was apologizing to the Lord Jesus for a certain
action of mine which, a little later, turned out to be imperfect, Jesus put me
at ease with these words: My daughter, I reward you for the purity of your
intention which you had at the time when you acted. My Heart rejoiced that you
had My love under consideration at the time you acted, and that in so distinct
a way; and even now you still derive benefit from this; that is, from the
humiliation. Yes, My child, I want you to always have such great purity of
intention in the very least things you undertake.
1584 O inconceivable goodness of God, which shields us at
every step, may Your mercy be praised without cease. That You became a brother
to humans, not to angels, is a miracle of the unfathomable mystery of Your
mercy. All our trust is in You, our first-born Brother, Jesus Christ, true God
and true Man. My heart flutters with joy to see how good God is to us wretched
and ungrateful people. And as a proof of His love, He gives us the
incomprehensible gift of Himself in the person of His Son. Throughout all
eternity we shall never exhaust that mystery of love. O mankind, why do you
think so little about God being truly among us? O Lamb of God, I do not know
what to admire in You first: Your gentleness, Your hidden life, the emptying of
Yourself for the sake of man, or the constant miracle of Your mercy, which transforms
souls and raises them up to eternal life. Although You are hidden in this way,
Your omnipotence is more manifest here than in the creation of man. Though the
omnipotence of Your mercy is at work in the justification of the sinner, yet
Your action is gentle and hidden.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-92, 94-98, 106-107, 115, 140, 200)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-580, 654, 666)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1165)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1293)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1566, 1584)
http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml
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