Doubting Zechariah
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Wednesday of the
Third Week of Advent
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Father Edward McIlmail, LC
Luke 1:5-25
In the days of
Herod, King of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah of the priestly
division of Abijah; his wife was from the daughters of Aaron, and her name
was Elizabeth. Both were righteous in the eyes of God, observing all the
commandments and ordinances of the Lord blamelessly. But they had no child,
because Elizabeth was barren and both were advanced in years. Once when he
was serving as priest in his division’s turn before God, according to the
practice of the priestly service, he was chosen by lot to enter the sanctuary
of the Lord to burn incense. Then, when the whole assembly of the people was
praying outside at the hour of the incense offering, the angel of the Lord
appeared to him, standing at the right of the altar of incense. Zechariah was
troubled by what he saw, and fear came upon him. But the angel said to him,
“Do not be afraid, Zechariah, because your prayer has been heard. Your wife
Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall name him John. And you will have
joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great in
the sight of the Lord. He will drink neither wine nor strong drink. He will
be filled with the Holy Spirit even from his mother’s womb, and he will turn
many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. He will go before him
in the spirit and power of Elijah to turn the hearts of fathers toward children
and the disobedient to the understanding of the righteous, to prepare a
people fit for the Lord.” Then Zechariah said to the angel, “How shall I know
this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” And the angel
said to him in reply, “I am Gabriel, who stand before God. I was sent to
speak to you and to announce to you this good news. But now you will be
speechless and unable to talk until the day these things take place, because
you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled at their proper time.”
Meanwhile the people were waiting for Zechariah and were amazed that he
stayed so long in the sanctuary. But when he came out, he was unable to speak
to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. He was
gesturing to them but remained mute. Then, when his days of ministry were
completed, he went home. After this time his wife Elizabeth conceived, and
she went into seclusion for five months, saying, “So has the Lord done for me
at a time when he has seen fit to take away my disgrace before others.”
Introductory Prayer: Grant me the grace to make the most of this time of
anticipation for Your arrival at Christmas, Lord. My faith rests in You, my
hope looks toward spending eternity with You. Help me grasp the value of time
in the face of eternity.
Petition: Lord, help me to see the signs that You send
into my life.
1. Seeing, yet
Disbelieving: Zechariah had no
excuse for doubting. There he was: in the sanctuary of the Lord, burning
incense ― a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It was a privileged moment, a
sacred space. Even an angel appears! If ever a man should have been prepared
for a special message, it was Zechariah. Yet he doubts. He doesn’t believe.
He had followed "all the commandments," yet his fidelity didn’t translate
into a living faith at a crucial moment. Do we fall into the same trap? We
say many prayers, but react with skepticism when God has a special request.
Why is that? Are we trying to show love when we pray? Or are we just rattling
on?
2. Excuses, Excuses:
Zechariah thought
his age would hinder God’s plan. He underestimated God’s power. Indeed, it is
not God who is limited; rather, we are the ones who limit God, so to speak.
Throughout the Bible, God called on unlikely people. Moses probably stuttered
(cf. Exodus 4:10). Jeremiah was "too young" (Jeremiah 1:6). Peter
was uneducated (Acts 4:13). Saul of Tarsus hated Christians (cf. Acts 9:1).
All were unlikely prophets or apostles ― yet they let God use them. What’s my
excuse for saying no to God? Am I too busy? Too old? Too young? Too unworthy?
Could God be calling me to do something that I think is beyond my capability?
3. Plowing Ahead: God goes ahead with his plan despite
Zechariah’s lack of faith. The Almighty was anxious to raise up a fitting
herald (St. John the Baptist) for his Son. So he left Zechariah speechless
for a time. We shouldn’t be surprised if God plows ahead with his own plans
in our lives, even when we resist him. He might do something unusual in our
lives in order to keep his plans advancing. Could those setbacks really be
God’s hand at work? Might he be preparing us for something better?
Conversation with
Christ: I like to think that
I’m less stubborn than Zechariah, Lord. But sometimes it is hard to accept Your
will. I might even feel as if I have "missed the boat," and that You
are no longer interested in me. Help me reject this kind of thinking and to
have confidence in You.
Resolution: I will pray a Hail Mary for the ability to
say “yes” to God’s plans in my life.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
O My God
2 When I look into the future, I am frightened, But why plunge into the future? Only the present moment is precious to me, As the future may never enter my soul at all. It is no longer in my power, To change, correct or add to the past; For neither sages nor prophets could do that. And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God. O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can. And although I am weak and small, You grant me the grace of your omnipotence. And so, trusting in Your mercy, I walk through life like a little child, Offering You each day this heart Burning with love for Your greater glory.
13 The
priest was surprised at first, but told me to have strong confidence that God
would provide for my future. “For the time being,” he said, “I shall send you
to a pious lady [Aldona Lipszycowa[4]] with
whom you will stay until you enter a convent.” When I called on this lady,
she received me very kindly. During the time I stayed with her, I was looking
for a convent, but at whatever convent door I knocked, I was turned away.
Sorrow gripped my heart, and I said to the Lord Jesus, “Help me; don’t leave
me alone.” At last I knocked on our door. [5
24 One day, just as I had awakened,
when I was putting myself in the presence of God, I was suddenly overwhelmed
by despair. Complete darkness in the soul. I fought as best I could till
noon. In the afternoon, truly deadly fears began to seize me; my physical
strength began to leave me. I went quickly to my cell, fell on my knees
before the Crucifix and began to cry out for mercy. But Jesus did not hear my
cries. I felt my physical strength leave me completely. I fell to the ground,
despair flooding my whole soul. I suffered terrible tortures in no way
different from the torments of hell. I was in this state for three quarters
of an hour. I wanted to go and see the Directress, but was too weak. I wanted
to shout but I had no voice. Fortunately, one of the sisters [another novice,
Sister Placida Putyra] came into my cell. Finding me in such a strange
condition, she immediately told the Directress about it. Mother came at once.
As soon as she entered the cell she said, "In the name of holy obedience
[16] get up from the
ground." Immediately some force raised me up from the ground and I stood
up, close to the dear Mother Directress. With kindly words she began to
explain to me that this was a trial sent to me by God, saying, "Have
great confidence; God is always our Father, even when He sends us
trials."
I returned to my duties as if I had come out from the tomb, my senses saturated with what my soul had experienced. During the evening service, my soul began to agonize again in a terrible darkness. I felt that I was in the power of the Just God, and that I was the object of His indignation. During these terrible moments I said to God, "Jesus, who in the Gospel compare Yourself to a most tender mother," I trust in Your words because You are Truth and Life. In spite of everything, Jesus, I trust in You in the face of every interior sentiment which sets itself against hope. Do what You want with me; I will never leave You, because You are the source of my life." Only one who has lived through similar moments can understand how terrible is this torment of the soul.
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a
strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God,
my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love
for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I
experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God
to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as
I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and
there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great
hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to
read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also
was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read.
The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all. One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
97 Faith staggers under the
impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an act
of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love are
put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the soul in
secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would be
impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to
befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths
and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one
understands you; why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound
in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God.
It sees what it does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear.
And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times like these not to have an
experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one
should make every effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed
confessor, for the soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very
edge of the precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not
send them to a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy
with Him and which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this
God has His own plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a
soul in this way for His future designs and great works. He wants to try it
as pure gold is tried. But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is
still the trial of trials, the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human
soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small,
I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of
Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing,
but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever. Let no soul, even the most
miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can
become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only
for us not to oppose God's action.
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope,
thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book
is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that
I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book there are found for us
inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your
martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in
Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to understand the love
of the Heart of Jesus!
308 1934, Holy Thursday. Jesus
said to me, I desire that you make an offering of yourself for sinners and
especially far those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy.
God and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth,
before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all
the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in union
with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself
for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope
in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection
to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are
filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives
from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy
Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the
blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in
this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust in Your
goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my
God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my
own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ.
I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following
prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S. M. Faustina of the Blessed
Sacrament
Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March 29, 1934.
310 I
am giving you a share in the redemption of mankind. You are solace in My
dying hour.
317 O my God, my only hope, I have
placed all my trust in You, and I know I shall not be disappointed.
343 True love is measured by the thermometer of
suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to
my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation
of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way
in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of
strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in
everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitude's, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
356 O Blessed Host, in whom is
contained the testament of God's mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus as proof of infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained life eternal and of infinite mercy, dispensed in abundance to us and especially to poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the mercy of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit toward us, and especially toward poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the infinite price of mercy which will compensate for all our debts, and especially those of poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the fountain of living water which springs from infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the fire of purest love which blazes forth from the bosom of the Eternal Father, as from an abyss of infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the medicine for all our infirmities, flowing from infinite mercy, as from a fount, for us and especially for poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the union between God and us through His infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners. O Blessed Host, in whom are contained all the sentiments of the most sweet Heart of Jesus toward us, and especially poor sinners. O Blessed Host, our only hope in all the sufferings and adversities of life. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of darkness and of storms within and without. O Blessed Host, our only hope in life and at the hour of our death. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of adversities and floods of despair. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of falsehood and treason. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness which inundate the earth. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the longing and pain in which no one will understand us. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the toil and monotony of everyday life. O Blessed Host, our only hope amid the ruin of our hopes and endeavors. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the ravages of the enemy and the efforts of hell. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when the burdens are beyond my strength and I find my efforts are fruitless. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when storms toss my heart about and my fearful spirit tends to despair. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my heart is about to tremble and mortal sweat moistens my brow. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when everything conspires against me and black despair creeps into my soul. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my eyes will begin to grow dim to all temporal things and, for the first time, my spirit will behold the unknown worlds. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my tasks will be beyond my strength and adversity will become my daily lot. O Blessed Host I trust in You when the practice of virtue will appear difficult for me and my nature will grow rebellious. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when hostile blows will be aimed against me. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my toils and efforts will be misjudged by others. O Blessed Host, I trust in You when Your judgments will resound over me; it is then that I will trust in the sea of Your mercy.
681 + Amid the greatest torments, I fix the gaze of my
soul upon Jesus Crucified; I do not expect help from people, but place my
trust in God. In His unfathomable mercy lies all my hope.
687 Once, as I was going down the hall to the kitchen, I
heard these words in my soul: Say unceasingly the chaplet that I have taught
you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death.
Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if
there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only
once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole
world know My infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those
souls who trust in My mercy.
746 I have understood that at certain and most difficult
moments I shall be alone, deserted by everyone, and that I must face all the
storms and fight with all the strength of my soul, even with those from whom
I expected to get help.
But I am not alone, because Jesus is with me, and with Him I fear nothing. I am well aware of everything, and I know what God is demanding of me. Suffering, contempt, ridicule, persecution and humiliation will be my constant lot. I know no other way. For sincere love-ingratitude; this is my path, marked out by the footprints of Jesus. My Jesus, my strength and my only hope, in You alone is all my hope. My trust will not be frustrated.
949 Let the doubting soul read these considerations on
Divine Mercy and become trusting. [171]
Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, fount gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed Trinity, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for sinners, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, in the founding of Holy Church, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, crown of all of God's handiwork, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You. Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You.
950 + Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the
treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your
mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become
despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will,
which is Love and Mercy itself.
951 + O incomprehensible and limitless Mercy Divine, To
extol and adore You worthily, who can? Supreme attribute of Almighty God, You
are the sweet hope for sinful man.
Into one hymn yourselves unite, stars, earth and sea, and in one accord, thankfully and fervently sing of the incomprehensible Divine Mercy.
965 Jesus looked at me and said, Souls
perish in spite of My bitter Passion. I am giving them the last hope of
salvation; that is, the Feast of My Mercy. If they will not adore My mercy,
they will perish for all eternity. Secretary of My mercy, write, tell souls
about this great mercy of Mine, because the awful day, the day of My justice,
is near.
995 + Although it is not easy to
live in constant agony,
To be nailed to the cross of various pains, Still, I am inflamed with love by loving, And like a Seraph I love God, though I am but weakness. Oh, great is the soul that, midst suffering, Stands faithfully by God and does His will And remains uncomforted midst great rainbows and storms, For God's pure love sweetens her fate. It is no great thing to love God in prosperity And thank Him when all goes well, But rather to adore Him midst great adversities And love Him for His own sake and place one's hope in Him. When the soul is in the shadows of Gethsemane, All alone in the bitterness of pain, It ascends toward the heights of Jesus, And though ever drinking bitterness-it is not sad. When the soul does the will of the Most High God, Even amidst constant pain and torments, Having pressed its lips to the chalice proferred, It becomes mighty, and nothing will daunt it. Though tortured, it repeats: Your will be done, Patiently awaiting the moment of its transfiguration, For, though in deepest darkness, it hears the voice of Jesus: You are Mine, And this it will know fully when the veil falls.
998 Today, I took part in a one-day retreat. When I was at
the last conference, [177] the priest was speaking of how much the
world needs God's mercy, and that this seems to be a special time when people
have great need of prayer and God's mercy. Then I heard a voice in my soul: These
words are for you. Do all you possibly can for this work of My mercy. I
desire that My mercy be worshiped, and I am giving mankind the last hope of
salvation; that is, recourse to My mercy. My Heart rejoices in this feast. After
these words, I understood that nothing can dispense me from the obligation
which the Lord demands from me.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-2, 13, 24, 77, 97, 283, 304)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-308-310, 317, 343, 356)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-681, 687, 746, 949-951)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-965, 995, 998 )
http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml
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