To Do Good or Evil?
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Wednesday of the
Second Week in Ordinary Time
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Father Walter Schu, LC
Mark 3:1-6
Jesus entered the synagogue. There was a man there who had a withered hand. They watched him closely to see if he would cure him on the sabbath so that they might accuse him. He said to the man with the withered hand, "Come up here before us." Then he said to them, "Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath rather than to do evil, to save life rather than to destroy it?" But they remained silent. Looking around at them with anger and grieved at their hardness of heart, he said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out and his hand was restored. The Pharisees went out and immediately took counsel with the Herodians against him to put him to death. Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in You. Thank You for the gift of faith, more precious than life itself. I hope in You. May the dark waters of doubt never break through my dike of hope. I love You. I want to let You purify me, so that my love for You may be more ardent and more courageous. Petition: Lord, help me to bear witness to you even in adverse circumstances. 1. “They Watched Him Closely”:At the beginning of his public ministry, Christ already incurs the bitter opposition of the Pharisees. Having reduced them to silence in a wheat field, Christ bravely enters the synagogue to confront them once again. There the Pharisees are in the first places of honor, and they watch his every move, hoping he will cure against the laws of the Sabbath, so that they might accuse him. The Pharisees were right about one thing. They did well to observe Christ closely. If only they had done so with the right spirit: to learn from him and to glorify God for the wonders he did through him. How closely do we watch Christ in our own lives? How readily do we perceive his actions through the circumstances of the day? How often do we glorify God for the great things Christ does and longs to do in us? 2. To Do Good or Evil? Christ obliges the Pharisees. With fearless courage he calls the man with the withered hand forward, so that no one can mistake what he is about to do. Then he puts his antagonists in a dilemma with two clear questions. First: “Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath rather than to do evil?” “They are bound to admit that it is lawful to do good; and it is a good thing he proposed to do. They are bound to deny that it is lawful to do evil; and, yet, surely it is an evil thing to leave a man in wretchedness when it is possible to help him.” (William Barclay, The Gospel of Mark, pp. 68-69) Then Christ asks the second question: “Is it lawful to save life rather than to destroy it?” “Here he is driving the thing home. He is taking steps to save this wretched man’s life; they are thinking out methods of killing Christ. On any reckoning it is surely a better thing to be thinking about helping a man than it is to be thinking of killing a man. No wonder they had nothing to say!” (Ibid.) 3. “Angered by Their Hardness of Heart”:Seldom does the Gospel show Christ angry. Here his anger is provoked by the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and their hardness of heart. They close themselves off from his message of salvation. What happens when someone definitively closes his heart to Christ? The Pharisees, the defenders of the law and Jewish customs, were bitter enemies of the Herodians, who collaborated with King Herod and the Romans. Yet this Gospel relates the chilling fact that these two joined forces to plot to kill Jesus. They are united not by the intrinsic force of goodness, but by the malignant power of evil. Do I at times make small concessions to hypocrisy, envy or even hatred? These could slowly harden my heart toward Christ. Am I willing to be courageous like Christ and endure even bitter opposition for the sake of the Gospel? Conversation with Christ: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness and courage. How small I feel when I compare myself with You in the Gospel. What an infinite distance separates us! Thank You for calling me — with all of my weakness, sins, and limitations — to be Your apostle. Help me never to surrender to evil in my heart, but to grow in goodness of heart in order to be more like You. Resolution: I will do a good deed for someone today, even if it is difficult, in order to bear witness to Christ.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
39 + One day Jesus told me that He would cause
a chastisement to fall upon the most beautiful city in our country [probably
Warsaw]. This chastisement would be that with which God had punished Sodom
and Gomorrah.[27] I saw the great wrath of God and a shudder
pierced my heart. I prayed in silence. After a moment, Jesus said to me, My
child, unite yourself closely to Me during the Sacrifice and offer My
Blood and My Wounds to My Father in expiation for the sins of that
city. Repeat this without interruption throughout the entire Holy
Mass. Do this for seven days. On the seventh day I saw Jesus in a bright
cloud and began to beg Him to look upon the city and upon our whole country.
Jesus looked [down] graciously. When I saw the kindness of' Jesus, I began to
beg His blessing. Immediately Jesus said, For your sake I bless the entire
country. And He made a big sign of the cross over our country. Seeing the
goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul.
55 1933.
Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must
not turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to
your confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to
your own self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the
good of other souls, l urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect
them, but always do so in consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit. Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity. Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone." Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you." Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others." On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now." Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
56 O my God, I understand well that You demand
this spiritual childhood[32] of me, because You are constantly asking it of
me through Your representatives.
At the beginning of my religious life,
suffering and adversities frightened and disheartened me. So I prayed
continuously, asking Jesus to strengthen me and to grant me the power of His
Holy Spirit that I might carry out His holy will in all things, because from
the beginning I have been aware of my weakness. I know very well what I am of
myself, because for this purpose Jesus has opened the eyes of my soul; I am
an abyss of misery, and hence I understand that whatever good there is in my
soul consists solely of His holy grace. The knowledge of my own misery allows
me, at the same time, to know the immensity of Your mercy. In my own interior
life, I am looking with one eye at the abyss of my misery and baseness, and
with the other, at the abyss of Your mercy, O God.
57 O my Jesus, You
are the life of my life. You know only too well that I long for nothing but
the glory of Your Name and that souls come to know Your goodness. Why do
souls avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand that. Oh, if I could only cut my
heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You, O Jesus, each piece as a
heart whole and entire, to make up in part for the hearts that do not love
You! I love You, Jesus, with every drop of my blood, and I would gladly shed
my blood for You to give You a proof of the sincerity of my love. O God, the
more I know You the less I can comprehend You, but this
"non-comprehension" lets me realize how great You are! And it is
this impossibility of comprehending You which enflames my heart anew for You,
O Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O
Jesus, I have been at peace and desired nothing else. I found my destiny at
the moment when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love. In
comparison with you, everything is nothing. Sufferings, adversities,
humiliations, failures and suspicions that have come my way are splinters
that keep alive the fire of my love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad
and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to
be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my
only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share
compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own
sufferings, not only from them, but also from You,
Jesus.
Suffering is a
great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering
love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
68 The heaviest
suffering for me was that it seemed to me that neither my prayers nor my good
works were pleasing to God. I did not dare lift up my eyes to heaven. This
caused me such great suffering during the community exercises in the chapel
that one day Mother Superior [Raphael] called me aside after the exercises
and said to me, "Sister, ask God for grace and consolation, because I
can see for myself and the sisters keep telling me that the very sight of you
evokes pity. I really do not know what to do with you, Sister. I command you
to stop tormenting yourself for no reason."
But all these
conferences with Mother Superior brought me no relief, nor did they clarify anything
for me. Rather, even greater darkness hid God from me. I looked for help in
the confessional, but not even there did I find it. A saintly priest wanted
to help me, but I was so miserable that I couldn't even define my trouble,
and that vexed me even more. A deathly sadness penetrated my soul to such an
extent that I was unable to hide it, and it was apparent to those around me.
I lost hope. The night was growing darker and darker. The priest to whom I
went to confession said to me, "I see very special graces in you,
Sister, and I am not worried about you at all; why are you torturing yourself
in this way?" But at that time I did not understand at all what he was
saying and was extremely surprised when, by way of penance, I was ordered to
say the Te Deum or the Magnificat, or to run fast around the
garden in the evening, or else to laugh out loud ten times a day. These
penances were very surprising to me; but even with that the priest was not
able to give me much help. Evidently, God wanted me to give Him glory through
suffering.
That priest
consoled me, saying that in my present situation I was more pleasing to God
than if I were filled with the greatest consolations. "It is a very
great grace, Sister, "he told me, "that in your present condition,
with all the torments of soul you are experiencing, you not only do not
offend God, but you even try to practice virtues. I am looking into your
soul, and I see God's great plans and special graces there; and seeing this,
I give thanks to the Lord." But despite all that, my soul was in a state
of torture; and in the midst of unspeakable torments, I imitated the blind
man who entrusts himself to his guide, holding his hand firmly, not giving up
obedience for a single moment, and this was my only safety in this fiery
trial.
O Divine Sun, in
Your rays the soul sees the tiniest specks of dust which displease You.
72 O Jesus, eternal Truth, our Life, I call upon You and I beg Your mercy for poor sinners. O sweetest Heart of my Lord, full of pity and unfathomable mercy, I plead with You for poor sinners. O Most Sacred Heart, Fount of Mercy from which gush forth rays of inconceivable graces upon the entire human race, I beg of You light for poor sinners. O Jesus, be mindful of Your own bitter Passion and do not permit the loss of souls redeemed at so dear a price of Your most precious Blood. O Jesus, when I consider the great price of Your Blood, I rejoice at its immensity, for one drop alone would have been enough for the salvation of all sinners. Although sin is an abyss of wickedness and ingratitude, the price paid for us can never be equaled. Therefore, let every soul trust in the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone. Heaven and earth may change, but God's mercy will never be exhausted. Oh, what immense joy burns in my heart when I contemplate Your incomprehensible goodness, O Jesus! I desire to bring all sinners to Your feet that they may glorify Your mercy throughout endless ages.
Darkness and
Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read. The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all. One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
93 +A Short Version of the
Catechism of the Vows[39]
Q. What is a vow? A. A vow is a voluntary promise made to God, to carry out a more perfect act. Q. Is a vow binding in a matter which is the object of a commandment? A. Yes. The carrying out of an act which is the object of a commandment has a double value and merit; and the neglect of such an act is a double transgression and evil, because by breaking such a vow we add to the sin against the commandment, the sin of sacrilege. Q. Why do religious vows have such value? A. Because they are the foundation of the religious life approved by the Church, in which the members bound together in a religious community undertake to strive always for perfection by means of the three religious vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, observed according to the rules. Q. What is the meaning of the words, "strive for perfection?" A. To strive for perfection means that the religious life does not in itself demand that perfection be already attained, but obliges, under the pain of sin, that we work daily to attain it. Therefore, a religious who does not want to become perfect neglects his principal duty of state. Q. What are "solemn" religious vows? A. " Solemn" religious vows are so absolute that, in extraordinary cases, only the Holy Father can dispense from them. Q. What are simple religious vows? A. These are vows which are less absolute - the Holy See dispenses from perpetual and annual vows. Q. What is the difference between a vow and a virtue? A. A vow pertains only to that which is commanded under pain of sin; the virtue goes beyond this and helps in the carrying out of the vow; on the other hand, by breaking the vow we fail in the virtue and do it damage. Q. To what do the religious vows oblige us? A. The religious vows oblige us to strive to acquire the virtues and to submit ourselves completely to our Superiors and to the Rules which are in force; thus the religious gives his own person to the Community, renouncing every right over himself and his actions, which he sacrifices to the service of God. The Vow of Poverty The vow of poverty is the voluntary renunciation of the right over property or to the use of such property with the purpose of pleasing God. Q. What objects does the vow of poverty concern? A. All those goods and those objects which appertain to the Community. We have no longer any right over anything that has been given to us, once it has been accepted, whether an article or money. All these donations and presents, which may have been given us out of gratitude or in any other way, belong by right to the Community. We cannot make use, without violating the vow, of any wages we may receive for work or even any annuity. Q. When do we break or violate the vow in a matter which entails the seventh commandment? A. We break or violate it when, without permission, we take for ourselves anything that belongs to the house; when, without permission, we retain something in order to appropriate it; and when, without authorization, we sell or exchange something that belongs to the Community. When we make use of an object for some other purpose than that intended by the Superior. When we give to, or accept from another, anything whatsoever without permission. When by negligence we destroy or damage something. When, in going from one house to another, we take something with us without permission. In a situation where the vow is broken, the religious is bound to restitution to the Community. The Virtue of Poverty This is an evangelical virtue which impels the heart to detach itself from temporal things; the religious, in virtue of his profession, is strictly obliged to it. Q. When do we sin against the virtue of poverty? When we desire something, contrary to this virtue. When we become attached to something, and when we make use of superfluous things. How many degrees of poverty are there and what are they? A. There are, in practice, four degrees of poverty for one who is a professed religious: to dispose of nothing without the consent of the Superiors (the strict matter of the vow); to avoid superfluities and be content with necessities (this pertains to the virtue); to readily content oneself with things of inferior quality in what concerns one's cell, clothing, nourishment, etc., and to experience this contentment interiorly; to rejoice in extreme poverty. The Vow of Chastity Q. To what does this vow oblige us? A. To renounce marriage and to avoid everything that is forbidden by the sixth and ninth commandments. Q. Is a fault against the virtue a violation of the vow? A. Every fault against the virtue is at the same time a violation of the vow, because here there is no difference, as in the case of poverty and obedience, between the vow and the virtue. Q. Is every bad thought a sin? A. No, every bad thought is not a sin; it becomes so only when the acquiescence of the will and consent are joined to the consideration of the mind. Q. Is there anything, over and above sins against chastity, which is detrimental to the virtue? A. Lack of custody of the senses, of the imagination, of the feelings; familiarity and sentimental friendships are detrimental to the virtue. Q. What are the means by which this virtue may be preserved? A. To conquer interior temptations with the thought of the presence of God, and moreover to fight without fear. And for exterior temptations, to avoid occasions. There are, in all, seven principal means: to guard the senses, to avoid occasions, to avoid idleness, to remove temptations promptly, to remove oneself from all - and especially particular friendships, the spirit of mortification, and to reveal all these temptations to one's confessor. Besides this, there are also five means of preserving this virtue: humility, the spirit of prayer, modesty of the eyes, fidelity to the rule, a sincere devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Vow of Obedience The vow of obedience is superior to the first two. It is, to tell the truth, a holocaust, and it is more necessary because it forms and animates the monastic body. Q. To what does the vow of obedience oblige us? A. By the vow of obedience, the religious promises to God to be obedient to his legitimate superiors in everything that they will ordain in virtue of the rule. The vow of obedience makes the religious dependent on his superior in virtue of these rules for his whole life and in all his affairs. A religious commits a grave sin against the vow every time he disobeys an order given in virtue of obedience and of these rules. The Virtue of Obedience The virtue of obedience goes further than the vow; it embraces the rules, the regulations and even the counsels of the superiors. Q. Is the virtue of obedience indispensable for a religious? A. The virtue of obedience is so indispensable to a religious that, even if he were to perform good actions contrary to obedience, these would be evil and without merit. Q. Can we sin gravely against the virtue of obedience? A. We sin gravely when we scorn the authority or the order of the superior, or when spiritual or temporal harm to the community results from our disobedience. Q. What faults endanger the vow? A. To be prejudiced against the superior, or to harbor an antipathy for him - murmuring and criticism, tardiness and negligence. The Degrees of Obedience Prompt and complete fulfillment - the obedience of the will, when the will persuades the intellect to submit to the advice of the superior. To facilitate obedience, Saint Ignatius suggests, moreover, three means: always to see God in our superior, whoever he might be; to justify in itself the order or advice of the superior; to accept each order as an order from God, without examining it or reflecting on it. General means: humility. Nothing is difficult for the humble.
95 +A Deeper Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness,
Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know
this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws
near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such
light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it
impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did
before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue
to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched
the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it.
This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for
Him.
But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to
know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light,
and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the
effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself
before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the
soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the
soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God
fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible
manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with
God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the
degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are
asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing
seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge
itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace
and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may
come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon
come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully
to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide
everything.
97 Faith staggers
under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God
by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and
love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the
soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it
would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can
allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to
revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it,
"Look, no one understands you; why speak about all this?" Words
that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is
uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see. It hears
what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times like
these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole burden
alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is at all
possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under the
burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are heavy
and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already been
admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted the
divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us are
impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future designs
and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this is not
yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the complete
abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair 98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
129 Satan always
takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to
the surface-for your faithfulness and sincerity-this is your reward. How can
one be sincere when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any
longer. Again I fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a
sweat, and fear began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly.
Suddenly I heard a voice within my soul, Do not fear; I am with you. And
an unusual light illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give
in to such sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell
with new courage to suffer.
134 + O my Jesus,
You have tested me so many times in this short life of mine! I have come to
understand so many things, and even such that now amaze me. Oh, how good it
is to abandon oneself totally to God and to give Him full freedom to act in
one's soul!
158
+When I was at Kiekrz [1930] to replace one of the sisters[52] for a
short time, I went across the garden one afternoon and stopped on the shore
of the lake; I stood there for a long time, contemplating my surroundings.
Suddenly, I saw the Lord Jesus near me, and He graciously said to me, All
this I created for you, My spouse; and know that all this beauty is nothing
compared to what I have prepared for you in eternity. My soul was inundated
with such consolation that I stayed there until evening, and it seemed to me
like a brief moment. That was my free day, set apart for a one-day retreat,[53] so I
was quite free to devote myself to prayer. Oh, how the infinitely good God
pursues us with His goodness! It often happens that the Lord grants me the
greatest graces when I do not at all expect them.
163 JMJ The Year 1937
General Exercises
+O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I
breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates
through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy.
+I want to be completely transformed into
Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, O Lord. May the greatest of all
divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and
soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be
merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for
what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so
that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their
pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that
I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort
and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be
merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my
neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that
I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness.
My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be
merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will
refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know,
will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart
of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord,
rest upon me.
+You yourself command me to exercise the
three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The
second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will
assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or
words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself, for
you can do all things.
222 A few words
from my conference with Mother , Directress, Mary Joseph. She clarified many things
for me, and she set me at peace as regards my spiritual life, reassuring me
that I was on the right path. I thanked the Lord Jesus for this great favor,
for she is the first of the superiors who did not cause me any doubts in this
regard. Oh, how infinitely good God is!
The
little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquility of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
237 Holy Hour.
During this hour of adoration, I saw the abyss of my misery; whatever there
is of good in me is Yours, O Lord. But because I am so small and wretched, I
have a right to count on Your boundless mercy.
241 Love of
neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about
those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice
in the success of others.
242 +O
God, how much I desire to be a small child.[71] You are
my Father, and You know how little and weak I am. So I beg You, keep me close
by Your side all my life and especially at the hour of my death. Jesus, I
know that Your goodness surpasses the goodness of a most tender mother.
244 Now a gray,
ordinary day has begun. The solemn hours of the perpetual vows have passed, but
God's great grace has remained in my soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am
His child, I feel I am wholly God's property. I experience this in a way that
can be physically sensed. I am completely at peace about everything, because
I know it is the Spouse's business to look after me. I have forgotten about
myself completely. My trust placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I
am continuously united with Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be
happy without me, nor could I without Him. Although I understand that, being
God,
He is happy in
himself and has absolutely no need of any creature, still, His goodness compels
Him to give himself to the creature, and with a generosity which is beyond understanding.
245 My Jesus, I
will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the
day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to
me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace
can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this
immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O
you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each
moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
300 +Ask of my faithful servant
[Father Sopocko] that, on this day, he tell the whole world of My great
mercy; that whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted
complete remission of sins and punishment.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy. +Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness. My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
483 O God, how I desire that souls come to know You and to
see that You have created them because of Your unfathomable love. O my
Creator and Lord, I feel that I am going to remove the veil of heaven so that
earth will not doubt Your goodness.
Make of me, Jesus, a pure and agreeable offering before the Face of Your Father. Jesus, transform me, miserable and sinful as I am, into Your own self (for You can do all things), and give me to Your Eternal Father. I want t become a sacrificial host before You, but an ordinary wafer to people. I want the fragrance of my sacrifice be known to You alone. O Eternal God, an unquenchable fire of supplication for Your mercy burns within me. I know and understand that this is my task here and in eternity. You yourself have told me to speak about this great mercy and about Your goodness.
492 Eternal God, Goodness itself, whose mercy is
incomprehensible to every intellect, whether human or angelic, help me, your
feeble child, to do Your holy will as You make it known to me. I desire
nothing but to fulfill God's desires. Lord, here are my soul and my body, my
mind and my will, my heart and all my love. Rule me according to Your eternal
plans.
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