Persecution, for Heaven’s Sake
Memorial of Blessed
Kateri Tekakwitha, virgin
Father Edward McIlmail, LC
Matthew 10:24-33
Jesus said to his
Apostles: "No disciple is above his teacher, no slave above his master. It
is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, for the slave that
he become like his master. If they have called the master of the house
Beelzebul, how much more those of his household! Therefore do not be afraid of
them. Nothing is concealed that will not be revealed, nor secret that will not
be known. What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light; what you hear
whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not be afraid of those who kill
the body but cannot kill the soul; rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy
both soul and body in Gehenna. Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet
not one of them falls to the ground without your Father´s knowledge. Even all
the hairs of your head are counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth more
than many sparrows. Everyone who acknowledges me before others I will
acknowledge before my heavenly Father. But whoever denies me before others, I
will deny before my heavenly Father."
Introductory
Prayer: Lord, You are the one constant in my life. You
are my beginning and my end. I love You as my savior. I trust You as my closest
companion. I hope in You as the one who will welcome me into eternal joy.
Petition: Grant me, Lord, the courage to face persecutions, great and
small, for the faith.
1.
Forewarned is Forearmed: Jesus´ opponents called him a devil. Either ignorance or
hardness of heart prevented them from seeing the good in Our Lord. Opposition
to him continues to this day — only now, we receive the brunt of the attacks.
Christ warns that his followers will be reviled, just as he was denounced.
Hence, it´s no surprise that we are labeled "backward" for our
pro-life stance, or "intolerant" because we believe in moral truths.
Persecution underscores the authenticity of our faith. If we never face any opposition,
we might not be living the faith well enough or publicly enough. How do I
handle persecution for my faith?
2.
What is True is Always True: Nothing is concealed that will not be revealed. Here, Our Lord
assures us that all will be revealed in due time. Lies and fallacies move at
the speed of light, thanks to the Internet. Truth seems to travel a lot slower.
The problem isn´t new. “For the time will come," St. Paul warned in 2
Timothy 4:3-4, "when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but,
following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers
and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths."
Whether it´s the truth about marriage or the dignity of the human embryo, the
truth will emerge in the public mind, eventually. Likewise, the truth of Christ
has to take root in us if we are to have joy and a sense of meaning. The
unhappiest moments of life occur when we stray from Christ´s path. Which vice
most needs to be weeded out of my life?
3.
Intolerable Tolerance: If we deny Christ, he will deny us at Judgment Day. That´s a
sobering thought. So many times the temptation arises to muffle our faith, to
give into human respect and keep silent in the face of evil. It can take many
forms. We stay mum when a relative brags about moving in with her boyfriend. We
say nothing when a fellow Catholic matter-of-factly defends abortion or
contraception. Or we as parents fail to intervene when a child spends hours
alone on the Internet. All this silence and inaction we chalk up to
"tolerance." But Christ didn´t tell his disciples to "Go, be
tolerant of all things." Rather, he implored: "Go and make disciples
of all nations." Have I kept silent about something when I should have
spoken up?
Conversation
with Christ: Lord,
following You isn´t easy. Attacks can come on all sides: from family, friends,
the media. I almost wish Christianity was easier, but then, it wasn´t easy for You,
either. So help me avoid complaining. Grant me strength to be daring for You.
Resolution:
I will raise a
delicate point with someone who needs to hear my Christian witness.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
25
During the night, the Mother of God visited me, holding the Infant Jesus in Her
arms. My soul was filled with joy, and I said, "Mary, my Mother, do You
know how terribly I suffer?" And the Mother of God answered me, I know
how much you suffer, but do not be afraid. I share with you your suffering, and
I shall always do so. She smiled warmly and disappeared. At once, strength
and a great courage sprang up anew in my soul; but that lasted only one day. It
seemed as though hell had conspired against me. A terrible hatred began to
break out in my soul, a hatred for all that is holy and divine. It seemed to me
that these spiritual torments would be my lot for the rest of my life. I turned
to the Blessed Sacrament and said to Jesus, "Jesus, my Spouse, do You not
see that my soul is dying because of its longing for You? How can You hide
Yourself from a heart that loves You so sincerely? Forgive me, Jesus; may Your
holy will be done in me. I will suffer silently like a dove, without
complaining. I will not allow my heart even one single cry of sorrowful
complaint."
50
+I desire that priests proclaim this great mercy of Mine towards souls of
sinners. Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me. The flames of mercy are
burning Me - clamoring to be spent; I want to pour them out upon these souls.
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].
53
For the present you are coming to me for confession, but understand, Sister,
that you must have a permanent confessor; that is to say, a spiritual
director."
I was very upset by this. I thought that I would get myself free from everything, and it turned out quite the opposite-an explicit command to follow the requests of Jesus. And now, still another torment, as I had no permanent confessor. Even if I went to the same confessor for a certain period of time, I could not open my soul to him in respect to these graces, and this caused me ineffable pain. So I asked Jesus to give these graces to someone else, because I did not know how to make use of them and was only wasting them. "Jesus, have mercy on me; do not entrust such great things to me, as You see that I am a bit of dust and completely inept."
But the goodness of Jesus is infinite; He had promised me visible help here on earth, and a little while later I received it in Vilnius, in the person of Father Sopocko. I had already known him before coming to Vilnius, thanks to an interior vision. One day I saw him in our chapel between the altar and the confessional and suddenly heard a voice in my soul say, This is the visible help for you on earth. He will help you carry out My will on earth.
I was very upset by this. I thought that I would get myself free from everything, and it turned out quite the opposite-an explicit command to follow the requests of Jesus. And now, still another torment, as I had no permanent confessor. Even if I went to the same confessor for a certain period of time, I could not open my soul to him in respect to these graces, and this caused me ineffable pain. So I asked Jesus to give these graces to someone else, because I did not know how to make use of them and was only wasting them. "Jesus, have mercy on me; do not entrust such great things to me, as You see that I am a bit of dust and completely inept."
But the goodness of Jesus is infinite; He had promised me visible help here on earth, and a little while later I received it in Vilnius, in the person of Father Sopocko. I had already known him before coming to Vilnius, thanks to an interior vision. One day I saw him in our chapel between the altar and the confessional and suddenly heard a voice in my soul say, This is the visible help for you on earth. He will help you carry out My will on earth.
57
O my Jesus, You are the life of my life. You know only too well that I long for
nothing but the glory of Your Name and that souls come to know Your goodness.
Why do souls avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand that. Oh, if I could only cut
my heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You, O Jesus, each piece as
a heart whole and entire, to make up in part for the hearts that do not love
You! I love You, Jesus, with every drop of my blood, and I would gladly shed my
blood for You to give You a proof of the sincerity of my love. O God, the more
I know You the less I can comprehend You, but this
"non-comprehension" lets me realize how great You are! And it is this
impossibility of comprehending You which enflames my heart anew for You, O
Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus,
I have been at peace and desired nothing else. I found my destiny at the moment
when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love. In comparison with
you, everything is nothing. Sufferings, adversities, humiliations, failures and
suspicions that have come my way are splinters that keep alive the fire of my
love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
86
[Once] when I saw how much my confessor [probably Father Sopocko] was to suffer
because of this work which God was going to carry out through him, fear seized
me for the moment, and I said to the Lord, "Jesus, this is Your affair, so
why are You acting this way toward him? It seems to me that You are making
difficulties for him while at the same time ordering him to act."
Write that by day and by night My gaze is fixed upon him, and I permit these adversities in order to increase his merit. I do not reward for good results but for the patience and hardship undergone for My sake.
Write that by day and by night My gaze is fixed upon him, and I permit these adversities in order to increase his merit. I do not reward for good results but for the patience and hardship undergone for My sake.
101
Jesus, You alone know how the soul, engulfed in darkness, moans in the midst of
these torments and, despite all this, thirsts for God as burning lips thirst
for water. It dies and withers; it dies a death without death; that is to say,
it cannot die. All its efforts come to nothing; it is under a powerful hand.
Now the soul comes under the power of the Just One. All exterior temptations
cease; all that surrounds it becomes silent, like a dying person who loses
contact with everything around it: the person's entire soul is in the hand of
the Just God, the Thrice-Holy God,-rejected for all eternity! This is the
culminating moment, and God alone can test a soul in this way, because He alone
knows what the soul can endure.
When the soul has been saturated through and through by this infernal fire, it is, as it were, cast headlong into great despair. My soul experienced this moment when I was all alone in my cell. When my soul began to sink into this despair, I felt that the end was near. But I seized my little crucifix and clutched it tightly in my hand. And now I felt my body separate itself from my soul; and though I wanted to go to my Superiors, I no longer had the physical strength. I uttered my last words: "I trust in Your Mercy!"-and it seemed to me that I provoked God to an even greater anger. And now I was drowned in despair, and all that was left me was a moan of unadulterated pain which, from time to time, tore itself from my soul. The soul is in agony-and it seemed to me that I would remain in this state, because by my own strength I could not emerge from it. Every recollection of God opened up an unspeakable ocean of suffering, and yet despite this there is something within the soul which is drawn to Him, though it seems to her for this only-that she suffer more. The memory of the love with which God formerly surrounded it is still another kind of suffering. His gaze pierces it, and everything within the soul is burned by this gaze.
When the soul has been saturated through and through by this infernal fire, it is, as it were, cast headlong into great despair. My soul experienced this moment when I was all alone in my cell. When my soul began to sink into this despair, I felt that the end was near. But I seized my little crucifix and clutched it tightly in my hand. And now I felt my body separate itself from my soul; and though I wanted to go to my Superiors, I no longer had the physical strength. I uttered my last words: "I trust in Your Mercy!"-and it seemed to me that I provoked God to an even greater anger. And now I was drowned in despair, and all that was left me was a moan of unadulterated pain which, from time to time, tore itself from my soul. The soul is in agony-and it seemed to me that I would remain in this state, because by my own strength I could not emerge from it. Every recollection of God opened up an unspeakable ocean of suffering, and yet despite this there is something within the soul which is drawn to Him, though it seems to her for this only-that she suffer more. The memory of the love with which God formerly surrounded it is still another kind of suffering. His gaze pierces it, and everything within the soul is burned by this gaze.
114
+Oh, how pleasing are the hymns flowing from a suffering soul! All heaven
delights in such a soul, especially when it is tested by God. It mournfully
sings out its longing for Him. Great is its beauty, because it comes from God.
The soul walks through the jungle of life, wounded by God's love. With one foot
only it touches the ground.
115
+ When a soul has come out of these tribulations, it is deeply humble. Its
purity of soul is great. It knows better without need of reflecting, as it
were, what it ought to do at a given moment and what to forbear. It feels the
lightest touch of grace and is very faithful to God. It recognizes God from
afar and continuously rejoices in Him. It discovers God very quickly in other
souls and in its environment in general. The soul has been purified by God
himself. God, as Pure Spirit, introduces the soul to a life which is purely
spiritual. God himself has first prepared and purified the soul; that is, He
has made it capable of close communion with himself. The soul, in a state of
loving repose, communes spiritually with the Lord. It speaks to God without the
need of expressing itself through the senses. God fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
116
My Jesus, You know what my soul goes through at the recollection of these
sufferings. I have often marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace
at the sight of a soul suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us
at such moments. My soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who
cries as loudly as he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot
recognize her. O my Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love!
Great and incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O
Lord, is steeped in Your mercy.
117
I will mention here that those who live with such a person should not add
external sufferings; for indeed, when the soul's cup is full, the little drop
we may add to it may be the one drop too much, and the cup of bitterness will
overflow. And who will answer for such a soul? Let us beware of adding to the
suffering of others, because that is displeasing to the Lord. If the sisters or
the superiors knew or even suspected that a soul was suffering such trials, and
they nevertheless added still other sufferings, they would be sinning gravely,
and God himself would demand an account of them on behalf of such a soul. I am
not speaking here of instances which of their very nature are sinful, but of
things which in other circumstances would not be sinful. Let us be on our guard
against having the weight of such a soul on our conscience. This is a grave and
common defect in religious life; namely, that when one sees a suffering soul,
one always wants to add even more suffering. I do not say that everyone acts
like this, but there are some. We take the liberty of passing all sorts of
judgments, and we repeat them when we would do better to remain silent.
118
The tongue is a small member, but it does big things. A religious who does not
keep silence will never attain holiness; that is, she will never become a
saint. Let her not delude herself-unless it is the Spirit of God who is
speaking through her, for then she must not keep silent. But, in order to hear
the voice of God, one has to have silence in one's soul and to keep silence;
not a gloomy silence, but an interior silence; that is to say, recollection in
God. One can speak a great deal without breaking silence and, on the contrary,
one can speak little and be constantly breaking silence. Oh, what irreparable
damage is done by the breach of silence! We cause a lot of harm to our
neighbor, but even more to our own selves.
In my opinion, and according to my experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place. God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells, is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
In my opinion, and according to my experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place. God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells, is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
121
+There is a series of graces which God pours into the soul after these trials
by fire. The soul enjoys intimate union with God. It has many visions, both
corporeal and intellectual. It hears many supernatural words, and sometimes
distinct orders. But despite these graces, it is not self-sufficient. In fact
it is even less so as a result of God's graces, because it is now open to many
dangers and can easily fall prey to illusions. It ought to ask God for a
spiritual director; but not only must it pray for one, it must also make every
effort to find a leader who is an expert in these things, just as a military
leader must know the ways along which he will lead [his followers] into battle.
A soul that is united with God must be prepared for great and hard-fought
battles.
+After these purifications and tears, God abides in the soul in a special way, but the soul does not always cooperate with these graces. Not that the soul itself is not willing to work, but it encounters so many interior and exterior difficulties that it really takes a miracle to sustain the soul on these summits. In this, it absolutely needs a director. People have often sown doubt in my soul, and I myself have sometimes become frightened at the thought that I was, after all, an ignorant person and did not have knowledge of many things, above all, spiritual things. But when my doubts increased, I sought light from my confessor or my superiors. Yet I did not obtain what I desired.
+After these purifications and tears, God abides in the soul in a special way, but the soul does not always cooperate with these graces. Not that the soul itself is not willing to work, but it encounters so many interior and exterior difficulties that it really takes a miracle to sustain the soul on these summits. In this, it absolutely needs a director. People have often sown doubt in my soul, and I myself have sometimes become frightened at the thought that I was, after all, an ignorant person and did not have knowledge of many things, above all, spiritual things. But when my doubts increased, I sought light from my confessor or my superiors. Yet I did not obtain what I desired.
138
A great mystery has been accomplished between God and me. Courage and strength
have remained in my soul. When the time of adoration came to an end, I came out
and calmly faced everything I had feared so much before. When I came out into
the corridor, a great suffering and humiliation, at the hands of a certain
person, was awaiting me. I accepted it with submission to a higher will and
snuggled closely to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting Him know that I was
ready for that for which I had offered myself.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed; each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage, she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who follow those inspirations faithfully.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed; each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage, she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who follow those inspirations faithfully.
139
Still, a soul which is faithful to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it
must submit them to the control of a very wise and learned priest; and until it
is quite certain, it should remain distrustful. It should not, on its own
initiative alone, put its trust in these inspirations and all other higher
graces, because it can thus expose itself to great losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
140 Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong in the midst of great difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and drab life of each day. It knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of great love-love, and always love.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
140 Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong in the midst of great difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and drab life of each day. It knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of great love-love, and always love.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
145
Oh, how wretched my soul is for having wasted so many graces! I was running
away from God, and He pursued me with his graces. I most often experienced
God's graces when I least expected them. From the moment He gave me a spiritual
director, I have been more faithful to grace. Thanks to the director and his
watchfulness over my soul, I have learned what guidance means and how Jesus
looks at it. Jesus warned me of the least fault and stressed that He himself
judges the matter that I present to my confessor; and [He told me] that ... any
transgressions against the confessor touch Me myself.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
146
Prayer.-A soul arms itself by prayer for all kinds of combat. In whatever state
the soul may be, it ought to pray. A soul which is pure and beautiful must
pray, or else it will lose its beauty; a soul which is striving after this
purity must pray, or else it will never attain it; a soul which is newly
converted must pray, or else it will fall again; a sinful soul, plunged in sins,
must pray so that it might rise again. There is no soul which is not bound to
pray, for every single grace comes to the soul through prayer.
151
+Once, when I was in the kitchen with Sister N.,[47]
she got a little upset with me and, as a punishment, ordered me to sit on the
table while she herself continued to work hard, cleaning and scrubbing. And
while I was sitting there, the sisters came along and were astounded to find me
sitting on the table, and each one had her say. One said that I was a loafer
and another, "What an eccentric!" I was a postulant at the time.
Others said, "What kind of a sister will she make?" Still, I could
not get down because sister had ordered me to sit there by virtue of obedience[48]
until she told me to get down. Truly, God alone knows how many acts of
self-denial it took. I thought I'd die of shame. God often allowed such things
for the sake of my inner formation, but He compensated me for this humiliation
by a great consolation. During Benediction I saw Him in great beauty. Jesus
looked at me kindly and said, My daughter, do not be afraid of sufferings; I
am with you.
195
O Jesus, today my soul is as though darkened by suffering. Not a single ray of
light. The storm is raging, and Jesus is asleep. O my Master, I will not wake
You; I will not interrupt Your sweet sleep. I believe that You fortify me without
my knowing it.
Throughout the long hours I adore You, O living Bread, amidst the great drought in my soul. O Jesus, pure Love, I do not need consolations; I am nourished by Your will, O Mighty One! Your will is the goal of my existence. It seems to me that the whole world serves me and depends on me. You, O Lord, understand my soul with all its aspirations.
Jesus, when I myself cannot sing You the hymn of love, I admire the singing of the Seraphim, they who are so dearly loved by You. I desire to drown myself in You as they do. Nothing will stem such love, for no might has power over it. It is like lightning that illuminates the darkness, but does not remain in it. O my Master, shape my soul according to Your will and Your eternal designs!
Throughout the long hours I adore You, O living Bread, amidst the great drought in my soul. O Jesus, pure Love, I do not need consolations; I am nourished by Your will, O Mighty One! Your will is the goal of my existence. It seems to me that the whole world serves me and depends on me. You, O Lord, understand my soul with all its aspirations.
Jesus, when I myself cannot sing You the hymn of love, I admire the singing of the Seraphim, they who are so dearly loved by You. I desire to drown myself in You as they do. Nothing will stem such love, for no might has power over it. It is like lightning that illuminates the darkness, but does not remain in it. O my Master, shape my soul according to Your will and Your eternal designs!
200
O Jesus, how deeply it hurts the soul when it is always trying to be sincere
and they accuse it of hypocrisy and behave with mistrust toward it. O Jesus,
You also suffered like this to make satisfaction to Your Father.
208
O you small, everyday sacrifices, you are to me like wild flowers which I strew
over the feet of my beloved Jesus. I sometimes compare these trifles to the
heroic virtues, and that is because their enduring nature demands heroism.>
209
In my sufferings, I do not seek help from creatures, but God is everything to
me. And yet, it often seems that even the Lord does not hear me. I arm myself
with patience and silence, like a dove that does not complain and feels no
bitterness when its children are being taken away from it. I want to soar into
the very heat of the sun, and I do not want to stop in its vapors. I will not
grow weary, because it is on You that I am leaning-O You, my Strength!
210
I fervently beg the Lord to strengthen my faith, so that in my drab, everyday
life I will not be guided by human dispositions, but by those of the spirit.
Oh, how everything drags man towards the earth! But lively faith maintains the
soul in the higher regions and assigns self-love its proper place; that is to
say, the lowest one.
1166
Then He said to me, Do
not fear, My child; but remain faithful only to My grace...
1167
Satan has admitted to me that I am the object of his hatred. He said that
"a thousand souls do me less harm than you do when you speak of the great
mercy of the Almighty One. The greatest sinners regain confidence and return to
God, and I lose everything. But what is more, you persecute me personally with
that unfathomable mercy of the Almighty One." I took note of the great
hatred Satan has for the Mercy of God. He does not want to acknowledge that God
is good.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-25, 50, 53, 57, 86, 101)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-114-118, 121, 138-140, 145)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-146, 151, 195, 200, 208-210 )
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1166-1167)
http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml
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