Made for God
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Memorial of Saint Agatha, virgin and martyr
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Mark 6:1-6
He
departed from there and came to his native place, accompanied by his
disciples. When the sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue,
and many who heard him were astonished. They said, "Where did this man
get all this? What kind of wisdom has been given him? What mighty deeds are
wrought by his hands! Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the
brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here
with us?" And they took offense at him. Jesus said to them,
"A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his
own kin and in his own house." So he was not able to perform any mighty
deed there, apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them.
He was amazed at their lack of faith. He went around to the villages in the
vicinity teaching.
Introductory
Prayer:
O Lord, You said
that blest are they who find no stumbling block in You. I want to be a blest
person, so that You may find in me no obstacle to the holiness You want for
me. I believe in You, but I long for a greater faith to see and respond to
the signs of Your hand moving in my world. I love You, Lord, and wish to lead
my brothers and sisters to You through my testimony, through my being truly
convinced that You are the life of men.
Petition:
Lord, grant me the
gift of total surrender to your will for me in all things.
1.
“Where did this man get all this? What mighty deeds are wrought by his
hands.” How beautiful it is
to contemplate the humble and meek Christ! He now manifests, to the
shock and awe of the worldly-minded, the signs of his true origin and the
nature of his true mission. The power of God, the power of the
supernatural, now intervenes in what is merely natural through the mere
“carpenter’s son.” The “signs of credibility” that Christ enacts through his
mighty words and deeds powerfully point to his divine origins and invite his
contemporaries to faith. It is an invitation to leave behind them the
superficial category of Jesus as just a nice neighbor (which means they can
live the same as before) and receive the gift of Christ as Redeemer (which
means change and conversion). Are there signs in my life that the Lord is
looking to change me, to change my behavior in some way so I might live more
by faith and charity? How much longer will I resist before I will am
won over by his goodness?
2.
“And they took offense at him.” It is a sacrifice to give God his place in the ordinary flow
of our day. To do so, we need to sacrifice our sense of self-sufficiency, by
which we are inclined to be the prime mover of everything in our world. We
need to sacrifice our vanity, which desists from efforts to adore God since
they bring little or no applause from those around us. We need to sacrifice
the comfort of our naturalism, our horizontal view of things. Ultimately this
sacrifice is a work of love responding to a divine invitation to share in
God’s life––love, because he is asking and wants to see us giving. Let us
move our hearts to embrace this sacrifice joyfully, for the sake of love. It
helps to see that in this passage there are no neutral states. Those who
reject the invitation to love are turned to love’s opposite––hate,
specifically the hatred of the supernatural. It is a tragedy at work in our
culture in many places, giving rise to the forces of anti-evangelization. Let
us pray and be vigilant that it may never become our tragedy.
3.
“He was not able to perform any mighty deed there.” Our Lord makes
himself vulnerable to us, to our willingness to believe. He comes only to
make us happy and to elevate our lives to be more beautiful, deeper in
meaning and richer in fruits. He wants to bring into our life his power to
work miracles and to move mountains of fear and burdens that we encounter. He
comes to be ointment for our wounds and consolation for our weary hearts. The
only thing he needs to make us happy, then, is our faith, our unconditional
and active faith. Without it (since he respects our freedom), we cripple his
capacity to act in our life as Savior and Lord. How sad it is to see how
easily we refuse such a selfless and beautiful gift.
Conversation
with Christ: Lord, teach me to receive You with a heart ready to leave my
rationalistic way of acting and choosing. Help me to know how to read Your
invitations with supernatural faith and to follow them in true obedience,
where true love proves itself.
Resolution:
I will be very
obedient to the lights I receive today from the Holy Spirit, acting on them
with promptness and generosity.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
6 I am to write [3] down the encounters of
my soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I am to
write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor soul. Your holy
will is the life of my soul. I have received this order through him who is
for me Your representative here on earth, who interprets Your holy Will to
me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for me to write, how unable I am to
put down clearly what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen write down
that for which many a time there are no words? But You give the order to write,
O God; that is enough for me.
18 However, after
three weeks I became aware that there is so very little time here for prayer,
and of many other things which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a
religious community of a stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold
of my soul, but the will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather
the temptation, was growing stronger and stronger to the point where I
decided one day to announce my departure to Mother Superior and definitely to
leave [the convent]. But God arranged the circumstances in such a way that I
could not get to the Mother Superior [Michael]. I stepped into the little
chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for light in
this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a strange unrest which
I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my mind to
approach Mother Superior the next morning right afte rMass and tell her of my
decision.
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]
92 Humiliation is my daily food. I understand that the bride must
herself share in everything that is the groom's; and so His cloak of mockery
must cover me, too. At those times when I suffer much, I try to remain
silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at such moments, is inclined to
talk for itself, while its duty is to help me praise God for all the blessings
and gifts which He has given me. When I receive Jesus in Holy Communion, I
ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue so that I would offend neither
God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to praise God without cease. Great
are the faults committed by the tongue. The soul will not attain sanctity if
it does not keep watch over its tongue.
94 O my Lord, inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may
not grow weary amidst the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how
weak I am. Love can do all.
95 +A Deeper Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him. But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
96 +Trials sent by God to a soul
which is particularly loved by Him.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul
tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan
goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are
terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware
of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows
very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to
unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the
confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak
about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems
to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not
want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a
terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The
soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to
find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can
collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All
these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which
has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not
yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which
for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future
designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this
is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the
complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
106 Though these are frightening things, the soul should not be too
fearful, because God will never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On
the other hand, He may never send us such sufferings, but I write this
because, if it pleases the Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings, it
should not be afraid but, insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it
should remain faithful to God. God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love
itself, and in this unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when
I was so tormented, I myself did not understand this.
107 O my God, I have come to know that I am not of this earth; You, O
Lord, have poured this profound awareness into my soul. My communion is more
with heaven than with earth, though I in no way neglect my duties.
115 + When a soul has come out of
these tribulations, it is deeply humble. Its purity of soul is great. It
knows better without need of reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a
given moment and what to forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is
very faithful to God. It recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices
in Him. It discovers God very quickly in other souls and in its environment
in general. The soul has been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit,
introduces the soul to a life which is purely spiritual. God himself has
first prepared and purified the soul; that is, He has made it capable of
close communion with himself. The soul, in a state of loving repose, communes
spiritually with the Lord. It speaks to God without the need of expressing
itself through the senses. God fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
140 Pure love is capable of great
deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong
in the midst of great difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and
drab life of each day. It knows that only one thing is needed to please God:
to do even the smallest things out of great love-love, and always love.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
200 O Jesus, how deeply it hurts
the soul when it is always trying to be sincere and they accuse it of
hypocrisy and behave with mistrust toward it. O Jesus, You also suffered like
this to make satisfaction to Your Father.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who
most faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of
Your inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my
own, though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the
will of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You
will permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
580 On a certain occasion, the
Lord said to me, I am more deeply wounded by the small imperfections of
chosen souls than by the sins of those living in the world. It made me
very sad that chosen souls make Jesus suffer, and Jesus told me, These
little imperfections are not all. I will reveal to you a secret of My Heart:
what I suffer from chosen souls. Ingratitude in return for so many graces is
My Heart's constant food, on the part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is
lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear it; these souls force Me to reject them.
Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet
intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance,
and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My
death has not convinced you of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me
mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me.
There are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of My love.
They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The
loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God though I am, I cannot
help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or
love Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell all the world about My
goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart.
654 Now I understand that
confession is only the confessing of one's sins, and spiritual guidance is a
different thing altogether. But this is not what I want to speak about. I
want to tell about a strange thing that happened to me for the first time.
When the confessor started talking to me, I did not understand a single word.
Then I saw Jesus Crucified and He said to me, It is in My Passion that you
must seek light and strength. After the confession, I meditated on Jesus'
terrible Passion, and I understood that what I was suffering was nothing
compared to the Savior's Passion, and that even the smallest imperfection was
the cause of this terrible suffering. Then my soul was filled with very great
contrition, and only then I sensed that I was in the sea of the unfathomable
mercy of God. Oh, how few words I have to express what I am experiencing! I
feel I am like a drop of dew engulfed in the depths of the bottomless ocean
of divine mercy.
666 I understood that all striving
for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect
fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt
here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not
do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to
be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but
did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I
reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always
faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to
put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
678 The essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will
of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and
circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will
of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live
according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize
inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings,
persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than popularity,
praise and esteem by my own will.
724 On the eve of the retreat, I started to
pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could
take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps
it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a
strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began
to thank the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to
His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to
the will of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of
life, gives great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries
more weight with Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe
penances. Oh, how great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the
will of God! As I write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God
loves it and of the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth.
954 Today after
Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you
submit yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw down
upon yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special delight in
you if you were not living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am
prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You know that I am weakness
itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech
You, be with me at each instant.
1165 Know this, My daughter: if
you strive for perfection you will sanctify many souls; and if you do not
strive for sanctity, by the same token, many souls will remain imperfect.
Know that their perfection will depend on your perfection, and the greater
part of the responsibility for these souls will fall on you.
1180 June [July]
15, 1937. Once, I learned that I was to be transferred to another house. My
knowledge of this was purely interior. At the same time, I heard a voice in
my soul: Do not be
afraid, My daughter; it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans
will be thwarted, since they must conform to My will.
1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said
to me, Why are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to
carry out? I answered, "Why do You leave me on my own at such times,
Jesus, and why do I not feel Your presence?" My daughter, even though
you do not perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still
cannot say that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My
presence, and that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will.
I do this to achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on.
My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else.
1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My
daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you
graces. Your misery does not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the
greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all
souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save
them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance
for all souls-no one have I excluded!
1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present
moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every
moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance
for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of
view that nothing happens without the will of God.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka
today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey.
But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and
had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray
of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace,
the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said, "Your will
be done, for everything is possible to You." When I was on the train and
gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the
torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began
to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled.
1200 I would have like to hide and rest for
a while in solitude, in a word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is
capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about
myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent
at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God-and that
has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with
them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence
unless this is for the greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels
[cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].
1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or
receive Holy Communion today but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I
kept on repeating, "May the Lord's will be done. I know that Your bounty
is without limit." Then 1 heard an angel who sang out my whole life
history and everything it comprised. I was surprised, but also strengthened.
1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in
these days of suffering, I am not capable of any kind of prayer. The
oppression of my body and soul has increased. O my Jesus, You do see that
Your child is on the decline. I am not forcing myself further, but simply
submitting my will to the will of Jesus. O Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.
1205 When I went to confession, I did not
even know how to confess. However, the priest [probably Father Casimir
Ratkiewicz [205]] recognized the
condition of my soul at once and said to me, "Despite everything, you
are on the way to salvation; you are on the right path, but God may leave
your soul in this darkness and obscurity until death, and the former light
may never return. But in all things abandon yourself to the will of
God."
1207 August 10. Today I am returning to
Cracow, in the company of one of the sisters. My soul is shrouded in
suffering. I am continually uniting myself to Him by an act of the will. He
is my power and strength.
1208 May You be blessed, O God, for
everything You send me. Nothing under the sun happens without Your will. I
cannot penetrate Your secrets with regard to myself, but I press my lips to
the chalice You offer me.
1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping
me and what nothingness is penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me
alone; grant me the grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the
mystery of God's visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.
1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see
the condition of my soul. Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I
cannot bring forth from my heart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet,
I cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As
for You, You are ever the same, while within my soul a change takes place. I
trust that the time will come when You will unveil Your countenance, and Your
child will again see Your sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can
hide yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the enormous love
You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am listening and waiting for
Your coming, O only Treasure of my heart!
1241 + 0 my Jesus, when someone is unkind
and unpleasant toward us, it is difficult enough to bear this kind of
suffering. But this is very little in comparison to a suffering which I
cannot bear; namely, that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness
towards me and then lays snares at my feet at every step I take. What great
will power is necessary to love such a soul for God's sake. Many a time one
has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If contact with that
person were infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but when one lives in
close contact with the person and experiences this at each step, this demands
a very great effort.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark
awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to
know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should
appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties,
faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the
matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy
at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out
in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh,
how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She
covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right
hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand
She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her
mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously
till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I
desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and
meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all
God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire
that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's
will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God
was entering my soul.
1255 "As concerns yourself, Sister, it
is good that you are remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything
that pertains to the will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state
of equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards
all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in
complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all
matters take counsel from your spiritual director. I beg you to keep your
levelheadedness and as great a calm as possible.One more thing-I am having
printed the chaplet which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the
invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on the back.
Another large image has also been printed, and with it a few pages which
contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy. [208] Pray, Sister, that this
be approved."
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the end of the world.
1262 September 3. First Friday of the
month. During Holy Mass, I became united with God. Jesus gave me to know that
even the smallest thing does not happen on earth without His will. After
having seen this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself
completely at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can deal with me
as He pleases, and I will bless Him for everything.
1264 Act of total abandonment to the will
of God, which is for me, love and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself. Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed. From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere. 1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father....
1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The Lord let me know how
much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against... not only by
prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go
unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.
1267 September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a
new assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went in to talk to the
Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully
carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I
am always with you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of
mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much
pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task.
I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but,
despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
1268 Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has given
me many more opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so happened
that I was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the kitchen made it
clear to me how irritated she was that I had come late for dinner, although
it was quite impossible for me to have come sooner. At any rate, I felt so
unwell that I had to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie down. I went to
ask Sister N. to take my place, and again I got a scolding: "What is
this, Sister, you're so exhausted that you're going back to bed again!
Confound you with all this lying in bed!" I put up with all that, but
that wasn't the end. I still had to ask the sister who was in charge of the
sick to bring me my meal. When I told her this, she burst out of the chapel
into the corridor after me to give me a piece of her mind: "Why on earth
are you going to bed, Sister, etc...... I asked her not to bother bringing me
anything. I am writing all this very briefly because it is not my intention
to write about such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade souls from
treating others in this way, for this is displeasing to the Lord. In a
suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified, and not a loafer or burden on
the community. A soul who suffers with submission to the will of God draws
down more blessings on the whole convent than all the working sisters. Poor
indeed is a convent where there are no sick sisters. God often grants many
and great graces out of regard for the souls who are suffering, and He
withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering souls.
1293 It so happened that I fell
again into a certain error, in spite of a sincere resolution not to do
so-even though the lapse was a minor imperfection and rather involuntary-and
at this I felt such acute pain in my soul that I interrupted my work and went
to the chapel for a while. Falling at the feet of Jesus, with love and a
great deal of pain, I apologized to the Lord, all the more ashamed because of
the fact that in my conversation with Him after Holy Communion this very morning
I had promised to be faithful to Him. Then I heard these words: If it
hadn't been for this small imperfection, you wouldn't have come to Me. Know
that as often as you come to Me, humbling yourself and asking My forgiveness,
I pour out a superabundance of graces on your soul, and your imperfection
vanishes before My eyes, and I see only your love and your humility. You lose
nothing but gain much...
1566 When I was apologizing to the
Lord Jesus for a certain action of mine which, a little later, turned out to
be imperfect, Jesus put me at ease with these words: My daughter, I reward
you for the purity of your intention which you had at the time when you
acted. My Heart rejoiced that you had My love under consideration at the time
you acted, and that in so distinct a way; and even now you still derive
benefit from this; that is, from the humiliation. Yes, My child, I want you
to always have such great purity of intention in the very least things you
undertake.
1584 O inconceivable goodness of
God, which shields us at every step, may Your mercy be praised without cease.
That You became a brother to humans, not to angels, is a miracle of the
unfathomable mystery of Your mercy. All our trust is in You, our first-born
Brother, Jesus Christ, true God and true Man. My heart flutters with joy to
see how good God is to us wretched and ungrateful people. And as a proof of
His love, He gives us the incomprehensible gift of Himself in the person of
His Son. Throughout all eternity we shall never exhaust that mystery of love.
O mankind, why do you think so little about God being truly among us? O Lamb
of God, I do not know what to admire in You first: Your gentleness, Your
hidden life, the emptying of Yourself for the sake of man, or the constant
miracle of Your mercy, which transforms souls and raises them up to eternal
life. Although You are hidden in this way, Your omnipotence is more manifest
here than in the creation of man. Though the omnipotence of Your mercy is at
work in the justification of the sinner, yet Your action is gentle and
hidden.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 18, 19, 92, 94-98, 106-107)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-, 115, 140, 200, 497)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-580, 654, 666, 678, 724, 954)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1165, 1180-1184, 1199-1200)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1204-1205, 1207-1208)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1237, 1239, 1241, 1243-1244)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1255-1256, 1262, 1293)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1566, 1584)
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