The Journey Away from Self
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Tuesday of the
Seventh Week in Ordinary Time
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Father Edward Hopkins, LC
Mark 9:30-37
Jesus
and his disciples left from there and began a journey through Galilee, but he
did not wish anyone to know about it. He was teaching his disciples and
telling them, "The Son of Man is to be handed over to men and they will
kill him, and three days after his death he will rise." But they did not
understand the saying, and they were afraid to question him. They came to
Capernaum and, once inside the house, he began to ask them, "What were
you arguing about on the way?" But they remained silent. They had been
discussing among themselves on the way who was the greatest. Then he sat
down, called the Twelve, and said to them, "If anyone wishes to be
first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all." Taking a
child he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it he said to
them, "Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me;
and whoever receives me, receives not me but the one who sent me."
Introductory
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I
believe in You, present and interested in my life. I believe You await my
prayer to guide my heart, my visits to the Eucharist to strengthen my will,
and my challenges to help my surrender. I trust You will give Your life to me
in exchange for my self-denial. I love You and want to love You more by
embracing and living out Your will. Mother Mary, teach me to say with You,
“Let it be done unto me.”
Petition:
“Speak Lord, Your
servant is listening”
1.
Apostolic Training: This was one journey Jesus chose to do in secret. Why? Because
he wanted to dedicate all his attention and efforts to teaching his apostles
the deepest and most important secret of his life: He must die! All that they
had lived so far was thus incomplete, merely a preparation for the final act
of his mission: the consummation of his love, his total immolation on the
cross. Would they understand the need for the seed to die before rising to
new life? How hard it would be for them to listen! He was their Lord, the
powerful, Messianic king coming to free them and establish his kingdom of
truth and love. They still imagined scenarios of new victories, cures, defeat
of demons, the silencing of their opposition…. How far their dreams were from
Jesus’ message! We too have our own desires and needs. Can we detach
ourselves from these dreams long enough to understand in prayer his will and
his plan of salvation for us?
2.
Slow Learners: Not only did they “not understand the saying,” but “they were
afraid to question him.” In other words, they did not want to know. How often
our communication problem is not something intellectual, but rather something
of the will! Our desire is more to “get our way,” “make our point” or “affirm
ourselves.” Learning Christ’s way requires that we in some way unlearn our
own ways. “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). This explains
why no one can be neutral before Christ; he challenges us to change our life.
Jesus occasioned the fierce opposition of those who would ultimately put him
to death. How open am I to his challenges? Do I listen in prayer in order to
respond with a docile but firm “Amen”?
3.
The Hardest Lesson: Like little boys caught in the act, the apostles don’t dare
admit that they have been arguing about who among them is greatest. Not only
do they fail “to listen” to Jesus; to the contrary, they are busy asserting
their will. What would it take to teach them this most difficult but vital
truth? So Jesus, with a father’s love, holds a child before them and begins
the lesson anew. This small child is the greatest! To be last, to serve, to
give your life makes you great, since this is how God comes to us. Only the
sight of Jesus crucified would burn this lesson more deeply on their hearts.
Am I learning this lesson of sacrificial love to become the greatest I can
become?
Conversation
with Christ: Dear
Lord, open my heart to listen to Your will for me. Free me from my own
self-love, ideas and dreams. Teach me to die to myself as I enter into prayer
and as I enter into work. Help me to work, pray and live so that You and Your
love can rise up in my life in place of the poverty of my own qualities and
efforts.
Resolution:
I will listen well
before trying to offer my own thoughts or desires in prayer and in
interacting with family and others, so better to hear the Lord.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given
Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from these interior inspirations,
but always tell everything to your confessor. If you recognize that these
interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is to say, they are for
the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l urge you to follow
them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in consultation with
your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit. Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity. Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone." Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you." Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others." On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now." Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
116 My Jesus, You know what my
soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I have often
marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul
suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such moments. My
soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries as loudly as
he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her. O my
Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and
incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is
steeped in Your mercy.
148 +A noble and delicate soul,
even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in
everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most
hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all
things, it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all
things, and it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not
confused when the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best
of Fathers and makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the
faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and
holds onto Him like a child to its mother. Where other souls come to a
standstill and fear, this soul passes on without fear or difficulty.
151 +Once, when I
was in the kitchen with Sister N.,[47]
she got a little upset with me and, as a punishment, ordered me to sit on the
table while she herself continued to work hard, cleaning and scrubbing. And
while I was sitting there, the sisters came along and were astounded to find
me sitting on the table, and each one had her say. One said that I was a
loafer and another, "What an eccentric!" I was a postulant at the
time. Others said, "What kind of a sister will she make?" Still, I
could not get down because sister had ordered me to sit there by virtue of
obedience[48] until she told me to get down. Truly, God alone
knows how many acts of self-denial it took. I thought I'd die of shame. God
often allowed such things for the sake of my inner formation, but He
compensated me for this humiliation by a great consolation. During
Benediction I saw Him in great beauty. Jesus looked at me kindly and said, My
daughter, do not be afraid of sufferings; I am with you.
184
+Holy Hour. During this hour, l tried to meditate on the Lord's Passion. But
my soul was filled with joy, and suddenly I saw the Child Jesus. But His
majesty penetrated me to such an extent that I said, "Jesus, You are so
little, and yet I know that You are my Creator and Lord." And Jesus
answered me, I am, and I keep company with you as a child to teach you
humility and simplicity.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
209 In my sufferings, I do not
seek help from creatures, but God is everything to me. And yet, it often
seems that even the Lord does not hear me. I arm myself with patience and
silence, like a dove that does not complain and feels no bitterness when its
children are being taken away from it. I want to soar into the very heat of
the sun, and I do not want to stop in its vapors. I will not grow weary,
because it is on You that I am leaning-O You, my Strength!
219 In the evening, the Lord said to
me, My daughter, let nothing frighten or disconcert you. Remain deeply at
peace. Everything is in My hands. I will give you to understand everything
through Father Andrasz. Be like a child towards him.
A Moment Before the Blessed
Sacrament.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
227 +In the midst of trials I will
try to see the loving hand of God. Nothing is as constant as suffering-it
always faithfully keeps the soul company. O Jesus, I will let no one surpass
me in loving You!
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, 228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me. With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things! The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina. 229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters. 230 Jesus, living Host, You are my Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
236 Oh, how
misleading are appearances, and how unjust the judgments. Oh, how often
virtue suffers only because it remains silent. To be sincere with those who
are incessantly stinging us demands much self-denial. One bleeds, but there
are no visible wounds. O Jesus, it is only on the last day that many of these
things will be made known. What joy-none of our efforts will be lost!
240 Three requests on the day of
my perpetual vows. Jesus, I know that today You will refuse me nothing.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my lifetime. Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents. Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of its enemies. Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to free all souls from purgatory. Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70] to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things. Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me, and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your Heart-it is all I need. Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son. +Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne. In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
242 +O God, how much I desire to
be a small child.[71]
You are my Father, and You know how little and weak I am. So I beg You,
keep me close by Your side all my life and especially at the hour of my
death. Jesus, I know that Your goodness surpasses the goodness of a most
tender mother.
244 Now a gray, ordinary day has
begun. The solemn hours of the perpetual vows have passed, but God's great
grace has remained in my soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am His child,
I feel I am wholly God's property. I experience this in a way that can be
physically sensed. I am completely at peace about everything, because I know
it is the Spouse's business to look after me. I have forgotten about myself
completely. My trust placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I am
continuously united with Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be
happy without me, nor could I without Him. Although I understand that, being
God, He is happy in himself and has absolutely no need of any creature,
still, His goodness compels Him to give himself to the creature, and with a
generosity which is beyond understanding.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
260 I had permission to visit
Czestochowa while on my journey. I saw the Mother of God [image] for the
first time, when I went to attend the unveiling of the image at five in the
morning. I prayed without interruption until eleven, and it seemed to me that
I had just come. The superior of the house there [Mother Serafin[75]]
sent a sister for me, to tell me to come to breakfast and said she was
worried that I would miss my train. The Mother of God told me many things. I
entrusted my perpetual vows to Her. I felt that I was her child and that She
was my Mother. She did not refuse any of my requests.
264 +O my Jesus, keep me near to
You! See how weak I am! I cannot go a step forward by myself; so You, Jesus,
must stand by me constantly like a mother by a helpless child-and even more
so.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of
knowing myself. In this divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride
which takes the form of my closing up within myself and of a lack of
simplicity in my relations with Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment. The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes. Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A
hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my
soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful
moments, O my Creator, I sing You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the
abyss of my trust in You and in Your mercy!
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
284 O Jesus, if only I could
become like mist before Your eyes, to cover the earth so that You would not
see its terrible crimes. Jesus, when I look at the world and its indifference
towards You, again and again it brings tears to my eyes; but when I look at a
cold soul of a religious, my heart bleeds.
294 +Once the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away
when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more
fervently. You too should not back away and say that you are not worthy of
receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy,
but rejoice all the more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can
carry, for then you will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing:
Take these graces not only for yourself, but also for others; that is,
encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite
mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will
do everything for them.
295 +At that moment Jesus asked
me, My child, how is your retreat going? I answered, "But Jesus,
You know how it is going." Yes, I know, but I want to hear it from
your own lips and from your heart. "O my Master, when You are
leading me, everything goes smoothly, and I ask You, Lord, to never leave my
side." And Jesus said, Yes, I will be with you always, if you always
remain a little child and fear nothing. As I was your beginning here, so I
will also be your end. Do not rely on creatures, even in the smallest things,
because this displeases Me. I want to be alone in your soul. I will give
light and strength to your soul, and you will learn from My representative
that I am in you, and your uncertainty will vanish like mist before the rays
of the sun.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to
love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore You
with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My life
is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant
flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of
suffering or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will
not enumerate these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great
thing to know how to make use of the present moment.
297 +Jesus, Supreme Light, grant
me the grace of knowing myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your light, and
fill the abyss of my soul with Your own self, for You alone [...]
298 O my Jesus, the Life, the Way
and the Truth, I beg You to keep me close to You as a mother holds a baby to
her bosom, for I am not only a helpless child, but an accumulation of misery
and nothingness.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me
the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes
try to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor
regulations. These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to
destroy the spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the
soul is aware of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small
things. I can see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter
if I am sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit
remains in harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious
statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
332
+Thursday. When I started the Holy Hour, I wanted to immerse myself in the
agony of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. Then I heard a voice in my soul:
Meditate on the mystery of the Incarnation. And suddenly the Infant Jesus
appeared before me, radiant with beauty. He told me how much God is pleased
with simplicity in a soul. Although My greatness is beyond understanding,
I commune only with those who are little. I demand of you a childlike spirit.
333 I
now see clearly how God acts through the confessor and how faithfully He
keeps His promises. Two weeks ago, my confessor told me to reflect upon this
spiritual childhood. It was somewhat difficult at first, but my confessor,
disregarding my difficulties, told me to continue to reflect upon spiritual
childhood. "In practice, this spiritual childhood," [he said,]
"should manifest itself in this way: a child does not worry about the
past or the future, but makes use of the present moment. I want to emphasize
that spiritual childlikeness in you, Sister, and I place great stress upon
it." I can see how God bows down to my confessor's wishes; He does not
show himself to me at this time as a Teacher in the fullness of His strength
and human adulthood, but as a little Child. The God who is beyond all
understanding stoops to me under the appearance of a little Child.
334 But
the eye of my soul does not stop at this appearance. Although You take the
form of a little Child, I see in You the immortal, infinite Lord of lords,
whom pure spirits adore, day and night, and for whom the hearts of the
Seraphim burn with the fire of purest love. O Christ, O Jesus, I want to
surpass them in my love for You! I apologize to you, O pure spirits, for my
boldness in comparing myself to you. I, this chasm of misery, this abyss of
misery; and You, O God, who are the incomprehensible abyss of mercy, swallow
me up as the heat of the sun swallows up a drop of dew! A loving look from
You will fill up any abyss. I feel immensely happy at the greatness of God.
Seeing God's greatness is more than enough to make me happy throughout all
eternity!
335
Once, when I saw Jesus in the form of a small child, I asked, "Jesus,
why do you now take on the form of a child when You commune with me? In spite
of this, I still see in You the infinite God, my Lord and Creator. Jesus
replied that until I learned simplicity and humility, He would commune with
me as a little child.
343 True love is
measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little
daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal
life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the
hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false
suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying
to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my
plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
392 The Lord God
grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask
God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it.
And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in
words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that
is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties
must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but
first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then
the Gospel will be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my
deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me
Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons
live in me. When God loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power
of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His
spouse?
462 Now I
understand well that what unites our soul most closely to God is self-denial;
that is, joining our will to the will of God. This is what makes the soul
truly free, contributes to profound recollection of the spirit, and makes all
life's burdens light, and death sweet.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
538 There will be
no distinction between the sisters, no mothers,[107]
no reverends, no venerables, but all will be equal, even though there might
be great differences in their parentage. We know who Jesus was, and yet how
He humbled himself and with whom He associated. Their habit will be like that
worn by Jesus during His Passion, and they will not simply wear the robe [He
wore]; they must also seal themselves with the marks He bore: suffering and
scorn. Each one will strive for the greatest self-denial and have a love of
humility, and she who will distinguish herself most in this latter virtue
will be the one who is capable of leading the others.
993 + I asked the
Lord to have a certain person come to visit me today so that I could see her
one more time, and that would be a sign for me that she was being called to
the convent which Jesus is having me establish. And, O wonder, the person in
question came, and I tried to form her a bit, spiritually. I began to show
her the way of self-denial and sacrifice, which she readily accepted.
However, I have placed this whole matter in the hands of the Lord, that He
may direct everything according to His good pleasure.
1409+ Today the
Lord Jesus is giving me an awareness of Himself and of His most tender love
and care for me. He is bringing me to understand deeply how everything
depends on His will, and how He allows certain difficulties precisely for our
merit, so that our fidelity might be clearly manifest. And through this, I
have been given strength for suffering and self-denial.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-55, 116, 148, 151, 184, 209, 219-220)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-227-230, 236, 240, 242, 244-245, 260)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-260, 264, 274-275, 283-284, 294-298)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-306, 332-335, 343, 392, 462, 497)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-538, 993)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1409)
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