On Your Mark, Get Set, Go!
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August 31, 2014.
Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time.
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Matthew 16: 21-27
From that time on,
Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo
great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and
be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began
to rebuke him, saying, "God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to
you." But he turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You
are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine
things but on human things." Then Jesus told his disciples, "If
anyone wants to become my follower, let him deny himself and take up his
cross and follow me. For he who wants to save his life will lose it, and he
who loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if
he gain the whole world but forfeits his life? Or what will he give in return
for his life? For the Son of Man is to come with his angels in the glory of
his Father, and then he will repay everyone for what has been done.”
Introductory Prayer: Lord God, I come from dust and to dust I
shall return. You, however, existed before all time, and every creature takes
its being from You. You formed me in my mother’s womb with infinite care, and
You watch over me tenderly. I hope You will embrace my soul at my death to
carry me home to heaven to be with You forever. Thank You for looking upon me
and blessing me with Your love. Take my love in return. I humbly offer You
all that I am.
Petition: Lord, help me to become a saint by denying
myself, taking up my cross and following You.
1. The Purgative
Way: In today’s Gospel
Christ presents three ways to Christian perfection: “If anyone wants to
become my follower, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow
me.” The first step, self-denial, is called “the purgative way” by some
spiritual mystics. Have you ever noticed that in order to advance, a time of
purging is necessary? Champion football teams have to work hard during the
hot August two-times-a-day practices. The same could be said for our striving
for holiness; we must be purged and purified in many ways. It is essential
that we hate sin and avoid it at all cost by fighting temptation. Our sentiments,
passions, memory and imagination must be placed under the rule of our faith,
intellect and will. Beginning a prayer life requires effort, fight and
constancy. By embracing the cross of the purification process we can advance
in holiness.
2. The Illuminative
Way: A second step in
the spiritual life can be summarized as “take up his cross.” A soul in this
step has achieved a certain measure of self-control over the force of his
passions, avoids any grave sins, and has deep convictions regarding the truths
of our faith. Their present task is to progress in good, strengthening
themselves especially in charity. They seek to adorn themselves with Christ’s
virtues and to make Christ the center of their thoughts, affections and
actions. These souls could be compared to an experienced mother who is
raising the youngest of her children or an athlete who has the fundamentals
down and is playing at peak performance. How happy and balanced our lives are
when we arrive to this level in our spiritual life. Christ invites us to this
level of friendship with him; all we have to do is say yes, work hard and
trust in God’s grace.
3. The Unitive Way: The third step in the spiritual life, the
unitive way, can be described by Christ’s words: “Follow me.” Once we go
through the purification of our own body and soul and are steeped in the
practice of virtue, we are ready to be among the closest followers of Christ,
the saints! In this level we are detached from created things, and our
primary focus is on the presence of the Creator who dwells in our hearts.
Love of God becomes the driving force in our life and we can say with our
Lord, “I always do what pleases him” (John 8:29). Deep union with God
in prayer, never resisting grace, and perfect mastery over ourselves bring us
to see crosses and difficulties with great joy. So have many souls arrived to
this state of heaven on earth: John Paul II, Mother Teresa, and the many
unknown husbands and wives, students and scholars who have taken Christ’s
call seriously and followed him above all else.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord Jesus, I ask You
for the courage to continue to follow Your call to holiness. Help me to know
where it is You want me to become more like You, and give me the strength to
form myself into the saint of which You have always dreamed. Mother Mary, I
entrust my spiritual life into Your maternal care.
Resolution: I will invite someone to go to Sunday Mass
today.
Excerpts
from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
19
I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I
entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do
with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray
fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence
everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts
enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the
moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the
cell after nine without permission. [8]
After
a while a brightness filled my cell, and on the curtain I saw the very
sorrowful Face of Jesus. There were open wounds on His Face, and large tears were
falling on my bedspread. Not knowing what all this meant, I asked Jesus,
“Jesus who has hurt You so?” And Jesus said to me, It is you who will cause
Me this pain if you leave this convent. It is to this place that I called you
and nowhere else; and I have prepared many graces for you. I begged pardon of
Jesus and immediately changed my decision.
The
next day was confession day. I related all that had taken place in my soul,
and the confessor answered that, from this, God's will is clear that I am to remain
in this congregation and that I'm not even to think of another religious
order. From that moment on, I have always felt happy and content.
64
When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who had gone for
her third probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a
little longer than two months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene[34]],
wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me permission to go, together with
another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk the paths," as they say. I
was delighted. Although it was not very far, it was Mother Superior's wish
that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said to me, I want you to stay
home. I answered, "Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow
morning; what am I to do now?" The Lord answered, This trip will be
harmful to your soul. I replied to Jesus, "You can find a way out.
Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be done." At that moment
the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and went
to my cell.
Next
morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at
the prospect of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see
everything. But as for me, I was sure we would not go, even though there were
no obstacles so far.
We
were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right after the
thanksgiving. But during the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather
changed. Clouds covered the sky, and the rain came down in torrents. Everyone
was astounded at such a sudden change in the weather.
Mother
Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!" I
answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it
was God's will that we stay home." However, no one knew that it was
Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the whole day in recollection
and meditation, thanking the Lord for having kept me home. That day, God
granted me many heavenly consolations.
75
But these doubts always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close
myself up more and more within myself. When, during confession, I sense
uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths,
but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself
will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.
O
priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness
never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I
uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170
The first day of the retreat. I tried to be the first in the chapel in the
morning; before the meditation I had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy
Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of God to obtain for me
the grace of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of faithfully carrying
out God's will, whatever it might be. I began this retreat with a very
special kind of courage.
279
God made known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about
how, in practice, to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in
carrying out God's will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions,
even the least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My
child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your
mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want
the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My
daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God
and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309
Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most
Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One
Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make
a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those
souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my
accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and
terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the
consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I
offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances,
mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice,
because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends
to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all
hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion
forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the
strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this
act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself
have taught me, Jesus:
"O
Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of
Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S.
M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March
29, 1934.
354
As I was talking to a certain person[84] who was to paint the image but, for
certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice in my soul: I want
her to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no matter how great,
are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am
speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know Your will in
the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes from
morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our superiors
through whom God speaks.
395
[February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my
dying mother.
When
I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she had
asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a
host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves
its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God
and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in my
heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name day, February
fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family and granted me
permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of my
dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary preparations for the
journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for my
seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of
the merits of her suffering.
435
As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I heard these words: By your
entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain mercy for yourselves and for
the world. I understood that I would not remain in the Congregation in which
I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was
otherwise. But 1 kept making excuses before God, telling Him that I was
unable to carry out this task. "Jesus, You know very well what I
am" [I said], and I started enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord,
hiding behind them so that He would agree that I was unable to carry out His
plans. Then I heard these words: Do not fear; I myself will make up for
everything that is lacking in you. But these words penetrated me to my depths
and made me even more aware of my misery, and I understood that the word of
the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the very depths. I understood
that God demands a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my
incompetence as an excuse.
439
Then came the moment to receive Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I
saw a great brightness. Then I heard these words: We give Our blessing, and
at that moment a bright ray issued from that light and pierced my heart; an
extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I thought I would die of joy and
happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit from my body. I felt totally
immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty, like a particle of
dust, into unknown expanses.
Trembling
with joy in the embrace of the Creator, I felt He himself was supporting me
so that I could bear this great happiness and gaze at His Majesty. I know now
that, if He himself had not first strengthened me by His grace, my soul would
not have been able to bear the happiness, and I would have died in an
instant. Holy Mass came to an end I know not when, for it was beyond my power
to pay attention to what was going on in the chapel. But when I recovered my
senses, I felt the strength and courage to do God's will; nothing seemed
difficult to me; and whereas I had previously been making excuses to the
Lord, I now felt the Lord's courage and strength within me, and I said to the
Lord, "I am ready for every beck and call of Your will!"
Interiorly, I had gone through everything that I war going to experience in
the future.
444
The priest spoke these profound words to me, "There are three degrees in
the accomplishment of God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules
and statutes pertaining to external observance; in the second degree, the
soul accepts interior inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the
third degree, the soul, abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose
of it freely, and God does with it as He pleases, and it is a docile tool in
His hands." And the priest said that I was at the second degree in the
accomplishment of God's will and that I had not yet reached the third degree,
but that I should strive to attain it. These words pierced my soul. I see
clearly that God often gives the priest knowledge of what is going on in the
depths of my soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that
He has such chosen persons.
477
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never
attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off everything that would like
to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words and quickly want to answer
back, without taking any regard as to whether it is God's will that we should
speak. A silent soul is strong; no adversities will harm it if it perseveres
in silence. The silent soul is capable of attaining the closest union with
God. It lives almost always under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God
works in a silent soul without hindrance.
479
My second confession to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]. "Know, my
daughter, that if this is the will of God, it will take place sooner or
later, for God's will must be done. Love God in your heart, have..." (
unfinished thought].
506 "Do nothing without the consent of the
superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must
be very careful about these things because, in your present situation,
Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact bound to
this Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there should be no
doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings
of a project. God can make some alterations, but such things are very rare.
Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more precise knowledge.
The works of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely
recognize them clearly. If they are not, they will disappear; and you, by
being obedient, will not go astray. Speak frankly about everything to your
confessor and obey him blindly.
"For
the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the
suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all
things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and
so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign.
If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error.
Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite
that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything.
You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I
do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which
are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of
souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You
have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's
will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do
and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might
be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you,
`Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least
in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all
times, be most faithful to God."
515
In the evening, when I was walking in the garden saying my rosary and came to
the cemetery,[102] I opened the gate a little and began to pray for a while,
and I asked them interiorly, "You are very happy are you not?" Then
I heard the words, "We are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled
God's will"-and then silence as before. I became introspective and
reflected for a long time on how I am fulfilling God's will and how I am
profiting from the time that God has given me.
518
+ Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was
locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said, "If you need
something, my dear little souls, I will be glad to help you to the extent
that the rule permits me." I then heard these words, "Do the will
of God; we are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled God's will."
527
On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is
demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my
soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough
omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary
strength, and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's
will seemed as nothing to me.
585
January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told
him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that
there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for
the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me.
The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my
permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for
the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume
that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention.
But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things
may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but
there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it
be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many
different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so
wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a
close union with God and do not lose heart." These words filled me with
great joy.
615
March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge
to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the
things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to say that I do not
understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord
is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that I do not have
the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would be the
greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord
wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great
number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to
realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to
resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it
persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery,
friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing
now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hellnothing
will deter me from doing the will of God.
I
am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me
the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of
fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists
this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a
great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry
out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from
me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will
be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with
full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O
merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which
You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the
roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My
God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter
whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving
me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my
Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the
other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I
continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength
declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother
Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in
appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep
longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a
motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of
spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not
bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and
the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to
act.
666
I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing
God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there
is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God
wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God.
Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer,
who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace
entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great
difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O
Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to
know it, O God.
667
July 14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]]. O
Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say
anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort
me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I
am living now on what I will live on in eternity.I have great reverence for
Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of
God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
713
October 11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and
its great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and
fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little
frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my
little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I
did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is
terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on
writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God's
willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly and
with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment,
and this composure of mine makes him furious.
830
O Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my
will that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light
dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I
trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in
accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do Your
will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all things. O
Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894
Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy
Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in
agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister,
that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any
kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that
the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss
Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the
Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I
became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord,
who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single
act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is
to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do
is pleasing to God!
924
Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the
bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of
self, and it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and
that is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
937
+ I will say a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or
Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few priests who know
how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can make
constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of
lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a
secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does
not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul
notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and
does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids
the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little stones, there
rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul
notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects
them and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse still,
will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going
forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation
only when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious
question poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the
confessor; that is to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame
should be put on the imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have
taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The director could well have
led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity.
938
The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and
should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it.
What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner
will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He
himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning
the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just
as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers
and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently
for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And
let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had
prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before
choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to
discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose
another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this
change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this:
to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then,
without doubt, he will never attain it.
956
+ After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say,
I now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly
Father's special affection.
981
I understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have
undergone in submission to God's will in order to know it better have
advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years
now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am
bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And
on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner
torture is so great that no one will either understand or imagine these
spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up my
life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not even
going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what it is
like to know God's will directly and at the same time to be perfectly
obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors.
Thanks be to God that He has given me a director; otherwise, I would not have
advanced one single step.
1004
O will of the Omnipotent God,
You
are my delight,
You
are my joy.
Whatever
the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I
will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your
holy will is my repose;
In
it is contained all my sanctity,
And
all my eternal salvation,
For
doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The
will of God-those are His various wishes
Which
my soul carries out without reserve,
Because
such are His divine desires,
In
those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do
with me as You will, Lord.
I
place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For
You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And
to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
+
J.M.J. Cracow, March 1, 1937. + Third Notebook God and Souls.
1088
Sudden return of health.
After
I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly
became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear
sign of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed.
The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a
few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091
Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health.
I
neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that
I am enjoying good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I
asked for this health as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek
relief from my suffering.
1101
In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I
shall speak to you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza [191]]
so that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the first
meditation my soul was struck by the following words of the priest: I must
not oppose God's will and God's designs, whatever they might be; and as soon
as 1 am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I
have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever
the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out.
This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself
on my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants of me,
and what I ought to do.
August
15, 1937. Father Andrasz's instructions.
1243
"These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's wretchedness, which
God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can do by itself.
They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's graces. Secondly,
faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as
in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be absolutely
obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time, the
matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a little
bitter truth is necessary."
At
the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with
Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the
Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the
attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the
Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and
desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort
of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an
account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of
the Most Holy Mother."
1244
August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I
was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards
the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the
Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of
your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation
with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to
herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were
at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till
death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire
that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and
meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend
that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in
His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this
faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all
sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a
deep understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1276
September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a Holy Hour before the Blessed
Sacrament today, but God's will was otherwise. At eight o'clock I was seized
with such violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I was convulsed with
pain for three hours; that is, until eleven o'clock at night. No medicine had
any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains
caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I took
part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He himself allowed these sufferings
in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in the wombs of
wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three times now. They
always start at eight o'clock in the evening and last until eleven. No
medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes, they cease
by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel
very weak.
This
happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors
couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at
all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told
the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings,
and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I
understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this
known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again,
I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I
leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission
and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these
sufferings!
1301
It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning
this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's
wishes, although it was not until two years after the revelation that she
became my superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me
when the painting of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when some
things concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy cards
are being printed, again it is she who is going with me [to take care of]
this matter. God has ordained all this in a mysterious way, because this was
begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has so directed the circumstances that
this matter is being continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior
is to God; I see how God is directing everything and wants me to be under her
protection during these important times.... Thank You, Lord, for such
superiors, who live in the love and fear of God. That is why I pray for her
most of all, because she has put herself out the most for the sake of this
work of Divine Mercy....
1389
O my Jesus, although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them
slowly, and this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my
Jesus, You give me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them
to other souls. Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment of
apparent absolute destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by
anything, will begin. Such is the will of God in this, and it will not
change; although many persons will oppose it, nothing will change God's will.*
1431
Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of
the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times,
as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there
draw strength to accept God's will. That which I have written is not yet
everything.
1525
One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me
that she could no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please
pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The
Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the grace, but that she would
once again be dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on praying
as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking for me,
and when we again began to talk about the same thing, I told her, "You
know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord God to give us what
we want, but we should rather submit to His holy will." But she thought
that what she was asking for was indispensable. Towards the end of the
novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister, the Lord Jesus has
given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please pray so that
things will somehow be different again." I answered, "Yes, I will
pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not what you
want."
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-19, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354, 395, 435)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-439, 444, 477, 479, 506, 515, 518)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 666-667, 713, 830, 894)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-924, 937-938, 956, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244,
1276, 1301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1525)
|
Agosto 31, 2014
On Your Mark, Get Set, Go!-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
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