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Father
Edward McIlmail, LC
Matthew
18: 1-5, 10
The disciples approached Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the
Kingdom of heaven?" He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and
said, "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you
will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child
is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such
as this in my name receives me. See that you do not despise one of these
little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always look upon
the face of my heavenly Father."
Introductory Prayer: Father in heaven, thank You for giving me
another day to grow in love for You, another day to move ahead in my
spiritual life, another day to pray for the souls closest to me. I want only
to please You during this brief time of prayer.
Petition: Lord, grant me the grace of childlike simplicity.
1. Turning the Tables: The disciples are curious about the Kingdom
of Heaven, and their curiosity has a tinge of self-interest. They want to
know how to get ahead in the Kingdom. Their very question belies a
misunderstanding of Christ. The Kingdom, among other things, is reflected in
the Church on earth. And the Church, being universal, is a kind of family
that takes in all mankind. If ever we ask, “Who is the greatest in our
family?” we can be sure that it is the wrong kind of question. The more
appropriate question is: “How can I be a better member of the family? How can
I be a better husband? A better wife? A better son or daughter or brother or
sister?” That is the question Christ wants us to ask ourselves.
2. Child´s Play: We must not think that Christ had a naive
notion of children as little angels who never do wrong. So why does Christ
hold up children as models for the rest of us? In part, it is their
simplicity, their tendency to trust. They might not understand why a parent
tells them something, but they likely will accept it because they realize it
comes from someone who loves them. The spiritual life requires that same kind
of trust. We might not understand completely why God asks us to do something,
but if there´s a basic trust and openness to him, it is easier to follow his
commands. Many people, unfortunately, squander what should be the most
productive years of their lives because they doubt God and his Church. They
complicate things, only to find years later the wisdom of what Our Lord was
trying to tell them. By then, their faults can be forgiven, but not undone.
Once a vase is broken, it can be fixed but it will never be the same as if it
had never broken. Am I saying no to God because of a lack of trust?
3. Angelic Aid: Prayers to guardian angels used to be
popular with Catholics. It is fitting that we pray to them, because each of
us has one. "Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and
shepherd leading him to life," writes St. Basil (see Catechism of the
Catholic Church, 336). Our angel reflects God´s loving providence for our
welfare and protection. The world is a moral minefield, waiting for us to
make the wrong step. Our angel helps us make it through this valley of tears.
Do I ever think to pray to my angel?
Conversation with Christ: The simplicity of children can make me look
foolish by comparison. I believe in You and trust You, Lord. Help me to
translate that trust into serenity and simplicity. Let me accept the crosses
of daily life with calmness, seeing Your loving designs behind them.
Resolution: I will say “yes” to the next difficult thing
someone asks of me, so long as it is something morally good.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
27 First vows [First profession of temporary vows, April 30,
1928]. An ardent desire to empty myself for God by an active love, but a love
that would be imperceptible, even to the sisters closest to me.
However, even after the vows, darkness continued to reign in my soul for
almost a half year. Once, when I was praying, Jesus pervaded all my soul,
darkness melted away, and I heard these words within me: You are My joy;
you are My heart's delight. From that moment I felt the Most Holy Trinity
in my heart; that is to say, within myself. I felt that I was inundated with
Divine light. Since then, my soul has been in intimate communion with God,
like a child with its beloved Father.
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father Andrasz,
S.J.
First: You must
not turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to
your confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to
your own self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the
good of other souls, l urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect
them, but always do so in consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the
spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the
evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor
specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it
would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the
other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God.
Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all
is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the
first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special
graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the
Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God
suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told
me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages:
`She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like
the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of
little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of
others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a
way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow
happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then,
generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled
with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment.
Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God
push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of
the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress
[Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity
and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like
a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility,
content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others
fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility.
Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains
down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble
souls."
102 After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell
and found me almost dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress
of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the
ground. My strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The
Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about
the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be distressed about
anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of obedience." Then
she said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is calling you to a high
degree of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close to Himself since He
has allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be faithful to God,
Sister, because this is a sign that He wants you to have a high place in
heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these words. When I
went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free from
everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I perceived
the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
116 My Jesus, You know what my soul goes through at the
recollection of these sufferings. I have often marvelled that the angels and
saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul suffering like that. Yet they
have special love for us at such moments. My soul has often cried out after
God, as a little child who cries as loudly as he can when his mother covers
her face and he cannot recognize her. O my Jesus, honor and glory to You for
these trials of love! Great and incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You
intended for my soul, O Lord, is steeped in Your mercy.
148 +A noble and delicate soul, even the most simple, but
one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in everything, finds Him everywhere,
and knows how to find Him in even the most hidden things. It finds all things
important, it highly appreciates all things, it thanks God for all things, it
draws profit for the soul from all things, and it gives all glory to God. It
places its trust in God and is not confused when the time of ordeals comes.
It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and makes little of human
opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it
rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a child to its
mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul passes on
without fear or difficulty.
184 +Holy Hour. During this hour, l tried to meditate on
the Lord's Passion. But my soul was filled with joy, and suddenly I saw the
Child Jesus. But His majesty penetrated me to such an extent that I said,
"Jesus, You are so little, and yet I know that You are my Creator and
Lord." And Jesus answered me, I am, and I keep company with you as a
child to teach you humility and simplicity.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for
the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I
remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
209 In my sufferings, I do not seek help from creatures,
but God is everything to me. And yet, it often seems that even the Lord does
not hear me. I arm myself with patience and silence, like a dove that does
not complain and feels no bitterness when its children are being taken away
from it. I want to soar into the very heat of the sun, and I do not want to
stop in its vapors. I will not grow weary, because it is on You that I am
leaning-O You, my Strength!
219 In the evening, the Lord said to me, My daughter,
let nothing frighten or disconcert you. Remain deeply at peace. Everything is
in My hands. I will give you to understand everything through Father Andrasz.
Be like a child towards him.
A Moment Before the Blessed Sacrament.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great
favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your
betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O
dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving
of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a
special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover
my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so
that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's
mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
227 +In the midst of trials I will try to see the loving
hand of God. Nothing is as constant as suffering-it always faithfully keeps
the soul company. O Jesus, I will let no one surpass me in loving You!
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68]
today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am
entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but
Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will
attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself,
without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You
yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into
the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a
perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must
strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and
I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on
that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O
Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul.
Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You
trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat,
I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And
so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble
me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My
daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the
power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the
power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your
door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a
piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child?
Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child
all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me,
That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not
only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to
experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of
your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My
Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love
will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
230 Jesus, living Host, You are my Mother, You are my all! It is with
simplicity and love, with faith and trust that I will always come to You, O
Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a child with its loving mother,
my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
240 Three requests on the day of my perpetual vows. Jesus,
I know that today You will refuse me nothing.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of
the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy
Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for
impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O
Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my
lifetime.
Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be
filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother
Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents.
Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by
Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by
any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of
its enemies.
Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of
prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to
free all souls from purgatory.
Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons
recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father
Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my
confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70]
to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been
recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those
for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into
Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and
spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things.
Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me,
and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this
day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword
and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your
Heart-it is all I need.
Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way
now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your
children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest
Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son.
+Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are
uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost
gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each
day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne.
In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and
sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand
me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember
the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
242 +O God, how much I desire to be a small child.[71]
You are my Father, and You know how little and weak I am. So I beg You,
keep me close by Your side all my life and especially at the hour of my
death. Jesus, I know that Your goodness surpasses the goodness of a most
tender mother.
244 Now a gray, ordinary day has begun. The solemn hours
of the perpetual vows have passed, but God's great grace has remained in my
soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am His child, I feel I am wholly God's
property. I experience this in a way that can be physically sensed. I am
completely at peace about everything, because I know it is the Spouse's
business to look after me. I have forgotten about myself completely. My trust
placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I am continuously united with
Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be happy without me, nor could
I without Him. Although I understand that, being God, He is happy in himself
and has absolutely no need of any creature, still, His goodness compels Him
to give himself to the creature, and with a generosity which is beyond
understanding.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing
battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You
have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so
that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank
You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in
our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at
all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
260 I had permission to visit Czestochowa while on my
journey. I saw the Mother of God [image] for the first time, when I went to
attend the unveiling of the image at five in the morning. I prayed without
interruption until eleven, and it seemed to me that I had just come. The
superior of the house there [Mother Serafin[75]]
sent a sister for me, to tell me to come to breakfast and said she was
worried that I would miss my train. The Mother of God told me many things. I
entrusted my perpetual vows to Her. I felt that I was her child and that She
was my Mother. She did not refuse any of my requests.
264 +O my Jesus, keep me near to You! See how weak I am! I
cannot go a step forward by myself; so You, Jesus, must stand by me
constantly like a mother by a helpless child-and even more so.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of knowing myself. In this
divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride which takes the form of my
closing up within myself and of a lack of simplicity in my relations with
Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could
be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it.
But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for
the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on
the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the
occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will
act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all
how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will
immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness
and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A hidden flower is the most
fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my soul a resting place for
the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful moments, O my Creator, I sing
You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss of my trust in You and in
Your mercy!
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and
although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the
anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and
Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a
hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to
doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so
great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's
action.
284 O Jesus, if only I could become like mist before Your
eyes, to cover the earth so that You would not see its terrible crimes.
Jesus, when I look at the world and its indifference towards You, again and
again it brings tears to my eyes; but when I look at a cold soul of a
religious, my heart bleeds.
295 +At that moment Jesus asked me, My child, how is
your retreat going? I answered, "But Jesus, You know how it is
going." Yes, I know, but I want to hear it from your own lips and
from your heart. "O my Master, when You are leading me, everything
goes smoothly, and I ask You, Lord, to never leave my side." And Jesus
said, Yes, I will be with you always, if you always remain a little child
and fear nothing. As I was your beginning here, so I will also be your end.
Do not rely on creatures, even in the smallest things, because this
displeases Me. I want to be alone in your soul. I will give light and
strength to your soul, and you will learn from My representative that I am in
you, and your uncertainty will vanish like mist before the rays of the sun.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to love You as no one on earth
has ever loved You before! I want to adore You with every moment of my life
and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My life is not drab or
monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant flowers, so that I
don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering or the rose of
love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will not enumerate these
treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great thing to know how to
make use of the present moment.
297 +Jesus, Supreme Light, grant me the grace of knowing
myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your light, and fill the abyss of my
soul with Your own self, for You alone [...]
298 O my Jesus, the Life, the Way and the Truth, I beg You
to keep me close to You as a mother holds a baby to her bosom, for I am not
only a helpless child, but an accumulation of misery and nothingness.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my nature
be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away from
the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor
transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life
within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these
minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see
nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes
the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony
with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide
from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to
live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just
as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the
freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I
want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When
I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I- 27, 55, 102, 116, 148, 184, 209, 219)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-220, 227-230, 240, 242, 244-245, 260)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-260, 264, 274-275, 283-284, 295-298)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-306, 497)
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