Me? An Apostle?
October 18, 2014. Feast of Saint Luke, evangelist
Father Daniel Ray, LC
Luke 10: 1-9
After this the Lord
appointed seventy others and sent them on ahead of him in pairs to every town
and place where he himself intended to go. He said to them, "The harvest
is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest
to send out laborers into his harvest. Go on your way. See, I am sending you out
like lambs into the midst of wolves. Carry no purse, no bag, no sandals; and
greet no one on the road. Whatever house you enter, first say, ´Peace to this
house!´ And if anyone is there who shares in peace, your peace will rest on
that person; but if not, it will return to you. Remain in the same house,
eating and drinking whatever they provide, for the laborer deserves to be paid.
Do not move about from house to house. Whenever you enter a town and its people
welcome you, eat what is set before you; cure the sick who are there, and say
to them, ´The kingdom of God has come near to you.´"
Introductory
Prayer: Lord, I believe that You are present here as I turn to You in prayer. I
trust and have confidence in Your desire to give me every grace I need to receive
today. Thank You for Your love, thank You for Your immense generosity toward
me. I give You my life and my love in return.
Petition: Lord, increase my
faith so that in any trial I will trust in You.
1. Amazing Graces: Luke, whose feast
we celebrate in today’s liturgy, is the only gentile author in the New
Testament. It was part of God’s design that he be chosen by God to be the
author of one of the Gospels and the Book of Acts. “Who am I to receive such a
grace?” Luke might easily have said to himself, marveling at the gratuitousness
with which he received his role within the Church. An honest look at the great
grace we have received in being called to be part of God’s Church should bring
us to say the same thing: Who are we to receive such an incredible blessing?!
Why did we receive this grace and our next-door neighbor did not? Why have so
many souls in the history of the world never had the opportunity to know about
Christ, but we have? Only one answer comes close. God wants it, and it is part of
his plan of love for all mankind.
2. More Hands on
Deck: Here is a true situation at a parish on the West Coast: After five
draining hours in the confessional, the priest climbs out to verify that no one
else is in line. This is the normal Sunday morning routine there. During those
hours the priest was witness to several powerful conversions, souls finding
peace after years of struggle, other saintly souls whose delicate consciences
were cause for admiration, and still others moving along with a “more-or-less”
attitude in their response to God, but who were helped by the grace of
reconciliation. Many more confessions could be heard, but there simply aren’t
enough priests to meet the need. The more confession is offered, the more the
faithful take advantage of the opportunity, and the more the Church grows in
holiness. Do we pray that God send more laborers to the harvest?
3. A Lamb without
Sandals: Christ’s comparison almost seems cruel: “I am sending you out like
lambs into the midst of wolves. Carry no purse, no bag, no sandals….” If he
considers the apostles to be like lambs, why on earth would he send them among
wolves? As always, Christ wants to stretch the faith of the apostles. “My
Father’s providence will take care of you and protect you” is the message he
wants them to accept and live. Later he tells them to take these items with
them (cf. Luke 22:36), but he also reminds them, “‘When I sent you out with no
purse or bag or sandals, did you lack anything?’ They said, ‘Nothing.’” He
wants us to rely on him, not on our own skills or talents. While we always need
to apply all our God-given human intelligence and prudence, we still need to
rely on God to bless our work and fill in for what is lacking.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, so much of what I’m faced with each day seems to be beyond my
capabilities, yet I see clearly that You want me to continue pushing forward,
trusting in Your providence. This isn’t easy! Help me to have confidence in
You.
Resolution: If faced with an
obstacle today, I will pray for God’s assistance rather than rely only on
myself.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
36 Once I was summoned to the
judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as
we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except
for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the
complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will
have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before
the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me, Who are you? I answered, "I am
Your servant, Lord." You are guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I
wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus
stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory
or for a short while on earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in
purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it
were until the end of the world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is
enough; you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for
long; you will accomplish My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of
Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart,
and draw from it strength and power for these sufferings, because you will find
neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have
much, much to suffer, but don't let this frighten you; I am with you.
83 Write this: before I come as
the just Judge, I am coming first as the King of Mercy. Before the day of
justice arrives, there will be given to people a sign in the heavens of this
sort: All light in the heavens will be extinguished, and there will be great
darkness over the whole earth. Then the sign of the cross will be seen in the
sky, and from the openings where the hands and the feet of the Savior were
nailed will come forth great lights which will light up the earth for a period
of time. This will take place shortly before the last day.
374 J.M.J Vilnius, Februrary 4, 1935
[page in the Dairy with the words "From today on my will does not exist" crossed out with a large 'X']
The moment I knelt down to cross out my own will, as the Lord had bid me to do, I heard this voice in my soul: From today on, do not fear God's judgment, for you will not be judged
[The next page has...]
J.M.J Vilnius, February 4, 1935
[page in the Dairy with the words "From today on my will does not exist" crossed out with a large 'X']
The moment I knelt down to cross out my own will, as the Lord had bid me to do, I heard this voice in my soul: From today on, do not fear God's judgment, for you will not be judged
[The next page has...]
J.M.J Vilnius, February 4, 1935
496 Confession Day. From early morning, the turmoil in my
soul was more violent than anything I had ever experienced before. Complete
abandonment by God; I felt the utter weakness that I was. Thoughts bore in upon
me: why should I leave this convent where I am loved by the sisters and
superiors, where life is so tranquil; [where I am] bound by perpetual vows and
carry out my duties without difficulty; why should I listen to the voice of my
conscience; why follow an inspiration coming from who knows where; wouldn't it
be better to carry on like all the other sisters? Perhaps the Lord's words
could be stifled, not taken heed of; maybe God will not demand an account of
them on the day of judgment. Where will this inner voice lead me? If I follow
it, what tremendous difficulties, tribulations and adversities are in store for
me. I fear the future, and I am agonizing in the present.
This suffering continued with the same intensity throughout the whole day. When, in the evening, my turn came for confession, I could not make a full confession, even though I had been preparing for a long time. I received absolution and left, not knowing what was going on within me. When I went to bed, the suffering grew even worse; or rather, it changed into a fire which penetrated all the faculties of my soul like lightning, piercing me to the marrow, and to the most secret recesses of my heart. In the midst of this suffering, I was unable to bring myself to do anything. "Your will be done, Lord." At times I could not even think these words. Truly, a deadly fear had taken hold of me, and the flames of hell were touching me. Toward morning, silence set in, and my tribulations disappeared in the twinkling of an eye, but I felt so frightfully exhausted that I could not even move. During my conversation with Mother Superior, my strength returned bit by bit, but God alone knows how I felt throughout that whole day.
This suffering continued with the same intensity throughout the whole day. When, in the evening, my turn came for confession, I could not make a full confession, even though I had been preparing for a long time. I received absolution and left, not knowing what was going on within me. When I went to bed, the suffering grew even worse; or rather, it changed into a fire which penetrated all the faculties of my soul like lightning, piercing me to the marrow, and to the most secret recesses of my heart. In the midst of this suffering, I was unable to bring myself to do anything. "Your will be done, Lord." At times I could not even think these words. Truly, a deadly fear had taken hold of me, and the flames of hell were touching me. Toward morning, silence set in, and my tribulations disappeared in the twinkling of an eye, but I felt so frightfully exhausted that I could not even move. During my conversation with Mother Superior, my strength returned bit by bit, but God alone knows how I felt throughout that whole day.
625 In the evening, when I was praying, the Mother of God
told me, Your lives must be like Mine: quiet and hidden, in unceasing union
with God, pleading for humanity and preparing the world for the second coming
of God
635 March 25. In the morning, during meditation, God's
presence enveloped me in a special way, as I saw the immeasurable greatness of
God and, at the same time, His condescension to His creatures. Then I saw the
Mother of God, who said to me, Oh, how
pleasing to God is the soul that follows faithfully the inspirations of His
grace! I gave the Savior to the world; as for you, you have to speak to the
world about His great mercy and prepare the world for the Second Coming of Him
who will come, not as a merciful Savior, but as a just Judge. Oh, how terrible
is that day! Determined is the day of justice, the day of divine wrath. The
angels tremble before it. Speak to souls about this great mercy while it is
still the time for [granting] mercy. If you keep silent now, you will be
answering for a great number of souls on that terrible day. Fear nothing. Be
faithful to the end. I sympathize with you.
660 O my Jesus, on the day of the last judgment, You will
demand from me an account of this work of mercy. O just Judge, but my Spouse as
well, help me to do Your holy will. O mercy, O divine virtue!
O most merciful Heart of Jesus, my Betrothed, make my heart like unto Yours.
O most merciful Heart of Jesus, my Betrothed, make my heart like unto Yours.
793
I am reliving these moments with Our Lady. With great longing, I am waiting for
the Lord's coming. Great are my desires. I desire that all humankind come to
know the Lord. I would like to prepare all nations for the coming of the Word
Incarnate. O Jesus, make the fount of Your mercy gush forth more abundantly,
for humankind is seriously ill and thus has more need than ever of Your
compassion. You are a bottomless sea of mercy for us sinners; and the greater
the misery, the more right we have to Your mercy. You are a fount which makes
all creatures happy by Your infinite mercy.
825
+ O bright and clear day on which all my dreams will be fulfilled; O day so
eagerly desired, the last day of my life! I look forward with joy to the last
stroke the Divine Artist will trace on my soul, which will give my soul a
unique beauty that will distinguish me from the beauty of other souls. O great
day, on which divine love will be confirmed in me. On that day, for the first
time, I shall sing before heaven and earth the song of the Lord's fathomless
mercy. This is my work and the mission which the Lord has destined for me from
the beginning of the world. That the song of my soul may be pleasing to the
Holy Trinity, do You, O Spirit of God, direct and form my soul yourself. I arm
myself with patience and await Your coming, O merciful God, and as to the
terrible pains and fear of death, at this moment more than at any other time, I
trust in the abyss of Your mercy and am reminding You, O merciful Jesus, sweet
Savior, of all the promises You have made to me.
840
December 23, [1936]. I am spending this time with the Mother of God and
preparing myself for the solemn moment of the coming of the Lord Jesus. The
Mother of God is instructing me in the interior life of the soul with Jesus,
especially in Holy Communion. It is only in eternity that we shall know the
great mystery effected in us by Holy Communion. O most precious moments of my
life!
895 January 23, [1937]. I did not feel like writing today.
Then I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, you do not live for yourself
but for souls; write for their benefit. You know that My will as to your
writing has been confirmed many times by your confessors. You know what is
pleasing to Me, and if you have any doubts about what I am saying, you also
know whom you are to ask. I grant him light to pronounce judgment on my case.
My eye watches over him. My daughter, you are to be like a child towards him,
full of simplicity and candor. Put his judgment above all My demands. He will guide
you according to My will. If he doesn't allow you to carry out My demands, be
at peace; I will not judge you, but the matter will remain between Me and him.
You are to be obedient.
1074 When I went for adoration, I
heard these words: My beloved daughter, write down these words, that today
My Heart has rested in this convent [the Cracow house]. Tell the world
about My mercy and My love.
The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!
My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it -with peace.
Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.
The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!
My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it -with peace.
Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.
1075 Souls who spread the honor
of My mercy I shield through their entire lives as a tender mother her infant,
and at the hour of death I will not be a Judge for them, but the Merciful
Savior. At that last hour, a soul has nothing with which to defend itself
except My mercy. Happy is the soul that during its lifetime immersed itself in
the Fountain of Mercy, because justice will have no hold on it.
1076 Write this: Everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of My mercy, more deeply than an infant in its mother's womb. How painfully distrust of My goodness wounds Me! Sins of distrust wound Me most painfully.
1076 Write this: Everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of My mercy, more deeply than an infant in its mother's womb. How painfully distrust of My goodness wounds Me! Sins of distrust wound Me most painfully.
+ Particular Examen
Union with the merciful Christ. With my heart I encompass the whole world, especially countries which are uncivilized or where there is persecution. I am praying for mercy upon them.
1317 I understand Your words, Lord, and the magnitude of the mercy that ought to shine in my soul. Jesus: I know, My daughter, that you understand it and that you do everything within your power. But write this for the many souls who are often worried because they do not have the material means with which to carry out an act of mercy. Yet spiritual mercy, which requires neither permissions nor storehouses, is much more meritorious and is within the grasp of every soul. If a soul does not exercise mercy somehow or other, it will not obtain My mercy on the day of judgment. Oh, if only souls knew how to gather eternal treasure for themselves, they would not be judged, for they would forestall My judgment with their mercy.
Union with the merciful Christ. With my heart I encompass the whole world, especially countries which are uncivilized or where there is persecution. I am praying for mercy upon them.
1317 I understand Your words, Lord, and the magnitude of the mercy that ought to shine in my soul. Jesus: I know, My daughter, that you understand it and that you do everything within your power. But write this for the many souls who are often worried because they do not have the material means with which to carry out an act of mercy. Yet spiritual mercy, which requires neither permissions nor storehouses, is much more meritorious and is within the grasp of every soul. If a soul does not exercise mercy somehow or other, it will not obtain My mercy on the day of judgment. Oh, if only souls knew how to gather eternal treasure for themselves, they would not be judged, for they would forestall My judgment with their mercy.
1339
O merciful God, You do not despise us, but lavish Your graces on us
continuously. You make us fit to enter ` Your kingdom, and in Your goodness You
grant that human beings may fill the places vacated by the ungrateful angels. O
God of great mercy, who turned Your sacred gaze away from the rebellious angels
and turned it upon contrite man, praise and glory be to Your unfathomable
mercy, O God who do not despise the lowly heart.
1488 Conversation of the Merciful
God with a Soul Striving after Perfection.
Jesus: I am pleased with your efforts, O soul aspiring for perfection, but why do I see you so often sad and depressed? Tell Me, My child, what is the meaning of this sadness, and what is its cause?
Soul: Lord, the reason for my sadness is that, in spite of my sincere resolutions, I fall again into the same faults. I make resolutions in the morning, but in the evening I see how much I have departed from them.
Jesus: You see, My child, what you are of yourself. The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust. Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons.
Soul: Yes, I know all that, but great temptations assail me, and various doubts awaken within me and, moreover, everything irritates and discourages me.
Jesus: My child, know that the greatest obstacles to holiness are discouragement and an exaggerated anxiety. These will deprive you of the ability to practice virtue. All temptations united together ought not disturb your interior peace, not even momentarily. Sensitiveness and discouragement are the fruits of self-love. You should not become discouraged, but strive to make My love reign in place of your self-love. Have confidence, My child. Do not lose heart in coming for pardon, for I am always ready to forgive you. As often as you beg for it, you glorify My mercy.
Soul: I understand what is the better thing to do, what pleases You more, but I encounter great obstacles in acting on this understanding.
Jesus: My child, life on earth is a struggle indeed; a great struggle for My kingdom. But fear not, because you are not alone. I am always supporting you, so lean on Me as you struggle, fearing nothing. Take the vessel of trust and draw from the fountain of life-for yourself, but also for other souls, especially such as are distrustful of My goodness.
Soul: O Lord, I feel my heart being filled with Your love and the rays of Your mercy and love piercing my soul. I go, Lord, at Your command. I go to conquer souls. Sustained by Your grace, I am ready to follow You, Lord, not only to Tabor, but also to Calvary. I desire to lead souls to the fount of Your mercy so that the splendor of Your mercy may be reflected in all souls, and the home of our Father be filled to overflowing. And when the enemy begins to attack me, I shall take refuge behind the shield of Your mercy.
Jesus: I am pleased with your efforts, O soul aspiring for perfection, but why do I see you so often sad and depressed? Tell Me, My child, what is the meaning of this sadness, and what is its cause?
Soul: Lord, the reason for my sadness is that, in spite of my sincere resolutions, I fall again into the same faults. I make resolutions in the morning, but in the evening I see how much I have departed from them.
Jesus: You see, My child, what you are of yourself. The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust. Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons.
Soul: Yes, I know all that, but great temptations assail me, and various doubts awaken within me and, moreover, everything irritates and discourages me.
Jesus: My child, know that the greatest obstacles to holiness are discouragement and an exaggerated anxiety. These will deprive you of the ability to practice virtue. All temptations united together ought not disturb your interior peace, not even momentarily. Sensitiveness and discouragement are the fruits of self-love. You should not become discouraged, but strive to make My love reign in place of your self-love. Have confidence, My child. Do not lose heart in coming for pardon, for I am always ready to forgive you. As often as you beg for it, you glorify My mercy.
Soul: I understand what is the better thing to do, what pleases You more, but I encounter great obstacles in acting on this understanding.
Jesus: My child, life on earth is a struggle indeed; a great struggle for My kingdom. But fear not, because you are not alone. I am always supporting you, so lean on Me as you struggle, fearing nothing. Take the vessel of trust and draw from the fountain of life-for yourself, but also for other souls, especially such as are distrustful of My goodness.
Soul: O Lord, I feel my heart being filled with Your love and the rays of Your mercy and love piercing my soul. I go, Lord, at Your command. I go to conquer souls. Sustained by Your grace, I am ready to follow You, Lord, not only to Tabor, but also to Calvary. I desire to lead souls to the fount of Your mercy so that the splendor of Your mercy may be reflected in all souls, and the home of our Father be filled to overflowing. And when the enemy begins to attack me, I shall take refuge behind the shield of Your mercy.
1489 Conversation of the Merciful God with a Perfect Soul.
Soul: My Lord and Master, I desire to converse with You.
Jesus: Speak, My beloved child, for I am always listening. I wait for you. What do you desire to say?
Soul: Lord, first let me pour out my heart at Your feet in a fragrant anointing of gratitude for the many blessings which You lavish upon me; even if I wanted to, I could not count them. I only recall that there has never been a moment in my life in which I have not experienced Your protection and goodness.
Jesus: Your words please Me, and your thanksgiving opens up new treasures of graces. But, My child, we should talk in more detail about the things that lie in your heart. Let us talk confidentially and frankly, as two hearts that love one another do.
Soul: O my merciful Lord, there are secrets in my heart which no one knows or will ever know except You because, even if I wanted to reveal them, no one would understand me. Your minister knows some because I confess to him, but he knows only the bit of these mysteries that I am capable of revealing; the rest remains between us for eternity, O My Lord! You have covered me with the cloak of Your mercy, pardoning my sins. Not once did You refuse Your pardon; You always had pity on me, giving me a new life of grace. To prevent doubts, You have entrusted me to the loving care of Your Church, that tender mother, who in Your name assures me of the truths of faith and watches lest I wander. Especially in the tribunal of Your mercy does my soul meet an ocean of favors, though You did not give the Fallen Angels time to repent or prolong their time of mercy. O my Lord, you have provided saintly priests to show me the sure way. Jesus, there is one more secret in my life, the deepest and dearest to my heart: it is You yourself when You come to my heart under the appearance of bread. Herein lies the whole secret of my sanctity. Here my heart is so united with Yours as to be but one. There are no more secrets, because all that is Yours is mine, and all that is mine is Yours. Such is the omnipotence and the miracle of Your mercy. All the tongues of men and of angels united could not find words adequate to this mystery of Your love and mercy.
When I contemplate this mystery, my heart falls into a new ecstasy. In silence I tell You everything, Lord, because the language of love is without words; not a single stirring of my heart escapes You. O Lord, the extent of Your great condescension has awakened in my soul an even greater love for You, the sole object of my love. The life of union manifests itself in perfect purity, deep humility, gentle silence, and great zeal for the salvation of souls.
O my sweetest Lord, You watch over me each moment and inspire me as to how I should act in a precise situation, when my heart wavers between two things. You yourself frequently intervened in the resolution of a difficulty. Countless times, by means of a sudden enlightenment, You have given me to know what is the more pleasing to You.
Oh, how numerous are the instances of forgiveness about which no one knows! How often You have poured into my soul courage and perseverance to go forward. It is You yourself who removed obstacles from my road, intervening directly in the actions of people. O Jesus, everything I have said to You is but a pale shadow of what is taking place in my heart. O my Jesus, how ardently I desire the conversion of sinners! You know what I am doing for them to win them for You. Every offense against You wounds me deeply. I spare neither strength, nor health, nor life itself in defense of Your kingdom. Although my efforts may remain invisible on earth, they are no less valuable in Your eyes.
O Jesus, I want to bring souls to the fount of Your mercy to draw the reviving water of life with the vessel of trust. The soul desirous of more of God's mercy should approach God with greater trust; and if her trust in God is unlimited, then the mercy of God toward it will be likewise limitless. O my God, Who know every beat of my heart, You know how eagerly I desire that all hearts would beat for You alone, that every soul glorify the greatness of Your mercy.
Jesus: My beloved child, delight of My Heart, your words are dearer and more pleasing to me than the angelic chorus. All the treasures of My Heart are open to you. Take from this Heart all that you need for yourself and for the whole world. For the sake of your love, I withhold the just chastisements, which mankind has deserved. A single act of pure love pleases Me more than a thousand imperfect prayers. One of your sighs of love atones for many offenses with which the godless overwhelm Me. The smallest act of virtue has unlimited value in My eyes because of your great love for Me. In a soul that lives on My love alone, I reign as in heaven. I watch over it day and night. In it I find My happiness; My ear is attentive to each request of its heart; often I anticipate its requests. O child, especially beloved by Me, apple of My eye, rest a moment near My Heart and taste of the love in which you will delight for all eternity.
But child, you are not yet in your homeland; so go, fortified by My grace, and fight for My kingdom in human souls; fight as a king's child would; and remember that the days of your exile will pass quickly, and with them the possibility of earning merit for heaven. I expect from you, My child, a great number of souls who will glorify My mercy for all eternity. My child, that you may answer My call worthily, receive Me daily in Holy Communion. It will give you strength...
Jesus, do not leave me alone in suffering. You know, Lord, how weak I am. I am an abyss of wretchedness, I am nothingness itself; so what will be so strange if You leave me alone and I fall? I am an infant, Lord, so I cannot get along by myself. However, beyond all abandonment I trust, and in spite of my own feeling I trust, and I am being completely transformed into trust-often in spite of what I feel. Do not lessen any of my sufferings, only give me strength to bear them. Do with me as You please, Lord, only give me the grace to be able to love You in every event and circumstance. Lord, do not lessen my cup of bitterness, only give me strength that I may be able to drink it all.
O Lord, sometimes You lift me up to the brightness of visions, and then again You plunge me into the darkness of night and the abyss of my nothingness, and my soul feels as if it were alone in the wilderness. Yet, above all things, I trust in You, Jesus, for You are unchangeable. My moods change, but You are always the same, full of mercy.
Soul: My Lord and Master, I desire to converse with You.
Jesus: Speak, My beloved child, for I am always listening. I wait for you. What do you desire to say?
Soul: Lord, first let me pour out my heart at Your feet in a fragrant anointing of gratitude for the many blessings which You lavish upon me; even if I wanted to, I could not count them. I only recall that there has never been a moment in my life in which I have not experienced Your protection and goodness.
Jesus: Your words please Me, and your thanksgiving opens up new treasures of graces. But, My child, we should talk in more detail about the things that lie in your heart. Let us talk confidentially and frankly, as two hearts that love one another do.
Soul: O my merciful Lord, there are secrets in my heart which no one knows or will ever know except You because, even if I wanted to reveal them, no one would understand me. Your minister knows some because I confess to him, but he knows only the bit of these mysteries that I am capable of revealing; the rest remains between us for eternity, O My Lord! You have covered me with the cloak of Your mercy, pardoning my sins. Not once did You refuse Your pardon; You always had pity on me, giving me a new life of grace. To prevent doubts, You have entrusted me to the loving care of Your Church, that tender mother, who in Your name assures me of the truths of faith and watches lest I wander. Especially in the tribunal of Your mercy does my soul meet an ocean of favors, though You did not give the Fallen Angels time to repent or prolong their time of mercy. O my Lord, you have provided saintly priests to show me the sure way. Jesus, there is one more secret in my life, the deepest and dearest to my heart: it is You yourself when You come to my heart under the appearance of bread. Herein lies the whole secret of my sanctity. Here my heart is so united with Yours as to be but one. There are no more secrets, because all that is Yours is mine, and all that is mine is Yours. Such is the omnipotence and the miracle of Your mercy. All the tongues of men and of angels united could not find words adequate to this mystery of Your love and mercy.
When I contemplate this mystery, my heart falls into a new ecstasy. In silence I tell You everything, Lord, because the language of love is without words; not a single stirring of my heart escapes You. O Lord, the extent of Your great condescension has awakened in my soul an even greater love for You, the sole object of my love. The life of union manifests itself in perfect purity, deep humility, gentle silence, and great zeal for the salvation of souls.
O my sweetest Lord, You watch over me each moment and inspire me as to how I should act in a precise situation, when my heart wavers between two things. You yourself frequently intervened in the resolution of a difficulty. Countless times, by means of a sudden enlightenment, You have given me to know what is the more pleasing to You.
Oh, how numerous are the instances of forgiveness about which no one knows! How often You have poured into my soul courage and perseverance to go forward. It is You yourself who removed obstacles from my road, intervening directly in the actions of people. O Jesus, everything I have said to You is but a pale shadow of what is taking place in my heart. O my Jesus, how ardently I desire the conversion of sinners! You know what I am doing for them to win them for You. Every offense against You wounds me deeply. I spare neither strength, nor health, nor life itself in defense of Your kingdom. Although my efforts may remain invisible on earth, they are no less valuable in Your eyes.
O Jesus, I want to bring souls to the fount of Your mercy to draw the reviving water of life with the vessel of trust. The soul desirous of more of God's mercy should approach God with greater trust; and if her trust in God is unlimited, then the mercy of God toward it will be likewise limitless. O my God, Who know every beat of my heart, You know how eagerly I desire that all hearts would beat for You alone, that every soul glorify the greatness of Your mercy.
Jesus: My beloved child, delight of My Heart, your words are dearer and more pleasing to me than the angelic chorus. All the treasures of My Heart are open to you. Take from this Heart all that you need for yourself and for the whole world. For the sake of your love, I withhold the just chastisements, which mankind has deserved. A single act of pure love pleases Me more than a thousand imperfect prayers. One of your sighs of love atones for many offenses with which the godless overwhelm Me. The smallest act of virtue has unlimited value in My eyes because of your great love for Me. In a soul that lives on My love alone, I reign as in heaven. I watch over it day and night. In it I find My happiness; My ear is attentive to each request of its heart; often I anticipate its requests. O child, especially beloved by Me, apple of My eye, rest a moment near My Heart and taste of the love in which you will delight for all eternity.
But child, you are not yet in your homeland; so go, fortified by My grace, and fight for My kingdom in human souls; fight as a king's child would; and remember that the days of your exile will pass quickly, and with them the possibility of earning merit for heaven. I expect from you, My child, a great number of souls who will glorify My mercy for all eternity. My child, that you may answer My call worthily, receive Me daily in Holy Communion. It will give you strength...
Jesus, do not leave me alone in suffering. You know, Lord, how weak I am. I am an abyss of wretchedness, I am nothingness itself; so what will be so strange if You leave me alone and I fall? I am an infant, Lord, so I cannot get along by myself. However, beyond all abandonment I trust, and in spite of my own feeling I trust, and I am being completely transformed into trust-often in spite of what I feel. Do not lessen any of my sufferings, only give me strength to bear them. Do with me as You please, Lord, only give me the grace to be able to love You in every event and circumstance. Lord, do not lessen my cup of bitterness, only give me strength that I may be able to drink it all.
O Lord, sometimes You lift me up to the brightness of visions, and then again You plunge me into the darkness of night and the abyss of my nothingness, and my soul feels as if it were alone in the wilderness. Yet, above all things, I trust in You, Jesus, for You are unchangeable. My moods change, but You are always the same, full of mercy.
1548
January 30, 1938. One-day retreat.
The
Lord gave me to know, during meditation, that as long as my heart beats in my
breast, I must always strive to spread the Kingdom of God on earth. I am to
fight for the glory of my Creator. I know that I will give God the glory He
expects of me if I try faithfully to cooperate with God's grace.
1701 I asked the Lord today that He
might deign to teach me about the interior life, because of myself I can
neither understand nor conceive anything perfectly. The Lord answered me, I
was your Teacher, I am and I will be; strive to make your heart like unto My
humble and gentle Heart. Never claim your rights. Bear with great calm and
patience everything that befalls you. Do not defend yourself when you are put
to shame, though innocent. Let others triumph. Do not stop being good when you
notice that your goodness is being abused. I Myself will speak up for you when
it is necessary. Be grateful for the smallest of My graces, because your
gratitude compels Me to grant you new graces...
1702 Towards the end of the Way of
the Cross which I was making, the Lord Jesus began to complain about the souls
of religious and priests, about the lack of love in chosen souls. I will
allow convents and churches to be destroyed. I answered, "Jesus, but
there are so many souls praising You in convents." The Lord answered, That
praise wounds My Heart, because love has been banished from convents. Souls
without love and without devotion, souls full of egoism and self-love, souls
full of pride and arrogance, souls full of deceit and hypocrisy, lukewarm souls
who have just enough warmth to keep them alive: My Heart cannot bear this. All
the graces that I pour out upon them flow off them as off the face of a rock. I
cannot stand them, because they are neither good or bad. I called convents into
being to sanctify the world through them. It is from them that a powerful flame
of love and sacrifice should burst forth. And if they do not repent and become
enkindled by their first love, I will deliver them over to the fate of this
world...
How can they sit on the promised throne of judgment to judge the world, when their guilt is greater than the guilt of the world? There is neither penance nor atonement. O heart, which received Me in the morning and at noon are all ablaze with hatred against Me, hatred of all sorts! O heart specially chosen by Me, were you chosen for this, to give Me more pain? The great sins of the world are superficial wounds on My Heart, but the sins of a chosen soul pierce My Heart through and through...
How can they sit on the promised throne of judgment to judge the world, when their guilt is greater than the guilt of the world? There is neither penance nor atonement. O heart, which received Me in the morning and at noon are all ablaze with hatred against Me, hatred of all sorts! O heart specially chosen by Me, were you chosen for this, to give Me more pain? The great sins of the world are superficial wounds on My Heart, but the sins of a chosen soul pierce My Heart through and through...
1703 When I tried to intercede for them, I could find nothing with which to excuse them and, being at the time unable to think of anything in their defense, my heart was seized with pain, and I wept bitterly. Then the Lord looked at me kindly and comforted me with these words: Do not cry. There are still a great number of souls who love Me very much, but My Heart desires to be loved by all and, because My love is great, that is why I warn and chastise them.
1712 A certain person whom I have
mentioned before visited me again. When I saw that she was beginning to get
entangled in her own lies, I let her know that I knew she was lying. She became
very embarrassed and stopped speaking. Then I spoke to her about the great
judgments of God, and I also remarked that she was leading innocent souls
astray and along dangerous roads. I uncovered before her everything that was in
her heart. Since I had to overcome my own feelings in order to talk to her, to
prove to Jesus that I love my enemies, I gave her my afternoon snack. She went
away enlightened in soul, but action is still far away...
1722 I heard these words: If you
did not tie My hands, I would send down many punishments upon the earth. My
daughter, your look disarms My anger. Although your lips are silent, you call
out to Me so mightily that all heaven is moved. I cannot escape from your
requests, because you pursue Me, not from afar but within your own heart.
1728 Write: I am Thrice Holy, and
I detest the smallest sin. I cannot love a soul which is stained with sin; but
when it repents, there is no limit to My generosity toward it. My mercy
embraces and justifies it. With My mercy, I pursue sinners along all their
paths, and My Heart rejoices when they return to Me. I forget the bitterness
with which they fed My Heart and rejoice at their return.
Tell sinners that no one shall escape My Hand; if they run away from My Merciful Heart, they will fall into My Just Hands. Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart... when will it beat for Me? Write, that I am speaking to them through their remorse of conscience, through their failures and sufferings, through thunderstorms, through the voice of the Church. And if they bring all My graces to naught, I begin to be angry with them, leaving them alone and giving them what they want.
Tell sinners that no one shall escape My Hand; if they run away from My Merciful Heart, they will fall into My Just Hands. Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart... when will it beat for Me? Write, that I am speaking to them through their remorse of conscience, through their failures and sufferings, through thunderstorms, through the voice of the Church. And if they bring all My graces to naught, I begin to be angry with them, leaving them alone and giving them what they want.
1729 O my Jesus, You alone know of my efforts. I seem to be a bit better, but better only to the point that I can go out on the veranda instead of lying in bed. I see and am fully aware of what is happening to me. Despite the diligent care of my superiors and the efforts of the doctors, my health is fading and running out. But I rejoice greatly at Your call, my God, my Love, because I know that my mission will begin at the moment of my death. Oh, how much I desire to be set free from the bonds of this body. O my Jesus, You know that, in all my desires, I always want to see Your will. Of myself, I would not want to die one minute sooner, or to live one minute longer, or to suffer less, or to suffer more, but I only want to do Your holy will. Although I have great enthusiasm, and the desires burning in my heart are immense, they are never above Your will.
1730 I fly to Your mercy,
Compassionate God, who alone are good. Although my misery is great, and my
offenses are many, I trust in Your mercy, because You are the God of mercy;
and, from time immemorial, it has never been heard of, nor do heaven or earth
remember, that a soul trusting in Your mercy has been disappointed.
O God of compassion, You alone can justify me, and You will never reject me when I, contrite, approach Your Merciful Heart, where no one has ever been refused, even if he were the greatest sinner.
O God of compassion, You alone can justify me, and You will never reject me when I, contrite, approach Your Merciful Heart, where no one has ever been refused, even if he were the greatest sinner.
1784
Today, in the course of a long conversation, the Lord said to me, How very
much I desire the salvation of souls! My dearest secretary, write that I want
to pour out My divine life into human souls and sanctify them, if only they
were willing to accept My grace. The greatest sinners would achieve great
sanctity, if only they would trust in My mercy. The very inner depths of My
being are filled to overflowing with mercy, and it is being poured out upon all
I have created. My delight is to act in a human soul and to fill it with My
mercy and to justify it. My kingdom on earth is My life in the human soul.
Write, My secretary, that I Myself am the spiritual guide of souls-and I guide
them indirectly through the priest, and lead each one to sanctity by a road
known to Me alone.
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-36, 83, 374, 496)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-660, 625, 635, 793, 825, 840, 895)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1074-1076)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1317, 1339)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1488-1489, 1548)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1701-1703, 1712, 1722)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1728-1730, 1784)
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