A Humble and Contrite Heart
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January 12, 2015.
Monday of the First Week in Ordinary Time
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Mark 1:14-20
After John had been
arrested, Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the Gospel of God: "This is
the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe
in the Gospel." As he passed by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his
brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea; they were fishermen. Jesus
said to them, "Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men."
Then they abandoned their nets and followed him. He walked along a little
farther and saw James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They too
were in a boat mending their nets. Then he called them. So they left their
father Zebedee in the boat along with the hired men and followed him.
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I thank You for this time to be with You. I don’t
deserve Your close friendship, and yet You offer me the intimacy of Your
heart. I trust in Your goodness and hope in Your infinite mercy. I love You
and wish to give up anything that would keep me from You.
Petition: Lord, give me compunction of heart and the
grace of a true conversion.
1. Prerequisite of
the Kingdom: “The kingdom of God
is at hand,” “The kingdom of God is within you,” and “You are not far from
the kingdom,” are all expressions of Our Lord. He came to establish a
kingdom, one that would begin here on earth and continue on into eternity. We
build the kingdom within ourselves by practicing virtue; we allow God’s grace
to purify us from selfishness and vice and to build us up in faith, hope and
charity. There is, however, a pre-requisite for grace to begin and continue
to work its ongoing miracle: acknowledgement of our failings and belief in
Christ. We must “repent, and believe in the Gospel” (Mark 1:15). Am I aware
of my constant need to turn to God and turn from my daily sins? Can I truly
say that I’m striving to overcome my sins and faults so that I can be more
like Christ and closer to him?
2. Interior
Sackcloth and Ashes:
The type of penance that Jesus seeks must begin in our interior. When Peter
becomes aware of who Christ is, he falls on his knees and exclaims, “Leave
me, Lord, for I am a sinful man” (Luke 5:8). “Jesus’ call to conversion and
penance, like that of the prophets before him, does not aim first at outward
works, ‘sackcloth and ashes,’ fasting and mortification, but at conversion of
heart, interior conversion. Without this, such penances remain sterile and
false; however, interior conversion urges expression in visible signs,
gestures and works of penance” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1420).
The best “expression in visible signs” of conversion and penance is our
imitation of Christ. The apostles “abandoned their nets and followed him”
(Mark 1:18).
3. Venues of
Conversion: In Number 1434 of
the Catechism we learn that conversion and penance are not things we embrace
only once or only after serious sin, by going to confession and then leaving
them aside. “The interior penance of a Christian,” rather, “can be expressed
in many and various ways.” Fasting, prayer and almsgiving are mentioned as
venues for expressing our ongoing conversion. Other more specific ways are
“efforts at reconciliation with one’s neighbor, tears of repentance, concern
for the salvation of one’s neighbor, the intercession of the saints, and the
practice of charity ‘which covers a multitude of sins.’” Does my heart
resonate with these ways, and if not, why not? What could be more important
than an intimate friendship with my Lord and God, with whom I hope to spend
all eternity?
Conversation with
Christ: Jesus, my days are
booked up with so much activity and noise that it’s extremely hard for me
even to reflect about my need for conversion of heart. Please help me to turn
away from my sins and bad habits by turning to You and imitating You. Wash me
of my sins, and draw me close to You.
Resolution: I will meekly apologize for having offended
someone without touching on anything negative about that person.
Excerpts from the DIARY
of Saint Faustina Kowalska
94 O
my Lord, inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may not grow
weary amidst the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how weak I
am. Love can do all.
153
One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full
of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and
enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realizing it. And at the
end of the road there was a horrible precipice; that is, the abyss of hell.
The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their
number was so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other
road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks;
and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of
suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up
immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent
garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there.
At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings.
163
JMJ The Year 1937
General Exercises +O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy. +I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, 0 Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor. Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue. Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all. Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks. Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor. Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me. +You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
241
Love of neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not
speak about those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor.
Third: Rejoice in the success of others.
242 +O
God, how much I desire to be a small child.[71]
You are my Father, and You know how little and weak I am. So I beg You,
keep me close by Your side all my life and especially at the hour of my
death. Jesus, I know that Your goodness surpasses the goodness of a most
tender mother.
294
+Once the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away when
he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently.
You too should not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving
greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all
the more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then
you will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these
graces not only for yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the
souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I
love those souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for
them.
303
Great love can change small things into great ones, and it is only love which
lends value to our actions. And the purer our love becomes, the less there
will be within us for the flames of suffering to feed upon, and the suffering
will cease to be a suffering for us; it will become a delight! By the grace
of God, I have received such a disposition of heart that I am never so happy
as when I suffer for Jesus, whom I love with every beat of my heart.
Once when I was suffering greatly, I left my work and escaped to Jesus and asked Him to give me His strength. After a very short prayer I returned to my work filled with enthusiasm and joy. Then, one of the sisters [probably Sister Justine] said to me, "You must have many consolations today, Sister; you look so radiant. Surely, God is giving you no suffering, but only consolations." "You are greatly mistaken, Sister," I answered, "for it is precisely when I suffer much that my joy is greater; and when I suffer less, my joy also is less." However, that soul was letting me recognize that she does not understand what I was saying. I tried to explain to her that when we suffer much we have a great chance to show God that we love Him; but when we suffer little we have less occasion to show God our love; and when we do not suffer at all, our love is then neither great nor pure. By the grace of God, we can attain a point where suffering will become a delight to us, for love can work such things in pure souls.
340 I
know now that nothing can put a stop to my love for You, Jesus, neither
suffering, nor adversity, nor fire nor the sword, nor death itself. I feel
stronger than all these things. Nothing can compare with love. I see that the
smallest things done by a soul that loves God sincerely have an enormous
value in His Holy eyes.
502
Only love has meaning; it raises up our smallest actions into infinity.
534
Chastity. There is no need to explain that this vow forbids all those things
prohibited by the sixth and ninth commandments: deeds, thoughts, words,
feelings... I understand that a solemn vow differs from a simple vow; I
understand this in all its implications. While reflecting upon this, I heard
these words in my soul: You are My spouse forever; your chastity should be
greater than that of the Angels, for I call no angel to such intimacy as I do
you. The smallest act of My spouse is of infinite value. A pure soul has
inconceivable power before God.
642 Palm Sunday. This Sunday, I experienced in a special
way the sentiments of the most sweet Heart of Jesus. My spirit was there
where Jesus was. I saw Jesus riding on a donkey's foal, and the disciples and
a great multitude with branches in their hands joyfully accompanying the Lord
Jesus. Some strewed them before His feet where He was riding, while others
raised their branches in the air, leaping and jumping before the Lord and not
knowing what to do for joy. And I saw another crowd which came out to meet
Jesus, likewise with joyful faces and with branches in their hands, and they
were crying out unceasingly with joy. There were little children there also.
But Jesus was very grave, and the Lord gave me to know how much He was
suffering at the time. And at that moment, I saw nothing but only Jesus,
whose Heart was saturated with ingratitude.
704 I
spend every free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask
Him about everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength
and light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act
toward my neighbor. From the time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed
myself in the tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me
into the fire of living love on which everything converges.
1002 The Lord's Supper is laid,
Jesus sits down at table with His Apostles,
His Being all transformed into love,
For such was the Holy Trinity's counsel.
With great desire, I desire to eat with you,
Before I suffer death.
About to leave you, love holds Me in your midst.
He sheds His Blood, gives His life, for He loves
immensely.
Love hides beneath the appearance of bread,
Departing, He remains with us.
Such self-abasement was not needed,
Yet burning love hid Him under these species.
Over the bread and wine He says these words:
"This is My Blood, this is My Body."
Although mysterious, these are words of love.
Then He passes the Cup among His disciples.
Jesus grew deeply troubled within
And said, "One of you will betray his Master."
They fell silent, with a silence as of the tomb,
And John inclined his head on His breast.
The supper is ended.
Let us go to Gethsemane.
Love is satisfied, And there the traitor is waiting.
+ J.M.J.
1513 + Jesus said to me today, You often call Me your
Master. This is pleasing to My Heart; but do not forget, My disciple, that
you are a disciple of a crucified Master. Let that one word be enough for
you. You know what is contained in the cross.
1701 I
asked the Lord today that He might deign to teach me about the interior life,
because of myself I can neither understand nor conceive anything perfectly.
The Lord answered me, I was your Teacher, I am and I will be; strive to
make your heart like unto My humble and gentle Heart. Never claim your
rights. Bear with great calm and patience everything that befalls you. Do not
defend yourself when you are put to shame, though innocent. Let others
triumph. Do not stop being good when you notice that your goodness is being
abused. I Myself will speak up for you when it is necessary. Be grateful for
the smallest of My graces, because your gratitude compels Me to grant you new
graces...
1710 May 26, [1938-Feast of the Ascension]. Today I
accompanied the Lord Jesus as He ascended into heaven. It was about noon. I
was overcome by a great longing for God. It is a strange thing, the more I
felt God's presence, the more ardently I desired Him. Then I saw myself in
the midst of a huge crowd of disciples and apostles, together with the Mother
of God. Jesus was telling them to... Go out into the whole world and teach
in My name. He stretched out His hands and blessed them and
disappeared in a cloud. I saw the longing of Our Lady. Her soul yearned for
Jesus with the whole force of Her love. But She was so peaceful and so united
to the will of God that there was not a stir in Her heart but for what God
wanted.
1714
Today I interceded earnestly with the Lord Jesus for our house, that He might
deign to take away the cross which has touched our convent. 252
The Lord answered me, Your prayers are accepted for other intentions. I
cannot take away this cross until they recognize its meaning.
Nevertheless, I did not stop praying.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-94, 153, 163, 241-242)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-294, 303, 340, 502, 534)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-704, 642, 1002)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1513)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1701, 1710, 1704)
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