What is My Deepest Desire?
June 19, 2015. Friday
of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time
Father Walter Schu, LC
Matthew
6: 19-23
Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not store up
for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves
break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where
neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For
where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. "The eye is the
lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of
light; but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.
If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in You. I believe that You
love me, that You are close by my side, and that You will be walking with me
throughout this day. I trust in You, Lord. I trust You more than I trust
myself, because You are infinitely good and all powerful. I love You, Jesus. I
love You because You died on the cross for me, to save me.
Petition: Lord, help me to discover where you are most calling me to store
up treasures in heaven.
1. Temporal or Eternal Treasures: Who does not long to discover a hidden
treasure? The human heart was made for the happiness and security treasure
promises, for the joy it brings. But one fundamental problem presents itself:
to what kind of treasure should we entrust our heart, our inmost being, our
very self? Christ alerts us to the false treasures which tug at our heart each
day — earthly treasures of fine clothes, or possessions, or wealth. Each of
these treasures can and will be taken from us. At the moment we most need help,
the time of our passing to eternity, material belongings will betray us. As the
realistic Spanish proverb puts it: “There are no pockets in a shroud.”
2. The Deep Longings of the Heart: Christ offers us the one treasure worthy of
the human heart, the one treasure that will not betray us, the only one that
can accompany us through the grave and across the threshold to eternal life.
What is that treasure? It is the person of Christ himself and all of the good
actions we do for his sake. Living for Christ alone, loving him above all else,
giving up our lives, our very selves for him, constitutes the only treasure
rich enough to satisfy the human heart — the only one capable of fulfilling our
deepest aspirations. Only this treasure will remain for all eternity, immersing
us in a joy that is ever beginning, ever new. “For where your treasure is,
there also your heart will be.”
3. “The Lamp of the Body”: Christ’s teaching about the eye as the lamp of
the body might at first glance seem obscure, unrelated to his previous
exhortation to store up treasures in heaven. But a second look reveals an inner
link. Exegetes have viewed the eye as the intentions which lie behind our
actions. Christ exhorts us to childlike simplicity in all that we do and even
in the way we view events and others. If we see Christ in others, if we are
able to perceive the Father’s providential hand behind everything that happens
to us in life, if all we do is done out of love for Christ, then truly our
whole body will be flooded with light.
Conversation with Christ: Thank You, Lord, for the clear message of Your
Gospel. Thank You for showing me how to live my life with eternity ever in
view. Thank You for being the one treasure that alone can satisfy the longings
of my heart.
Resolution: I will do everything this day out of love for Christ and to help
establish his Kingdom, renewing my conscious efforts to store up treasures in
heaven.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book which
You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which You
underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to love
God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible treasures. O
Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is
the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul
that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus!
338 When I started to look deep within myself, I did not
find any attachment to anything, but as in all things that concern me, so also
in this matter, I was afraid and distrustful of myself. Tired out by this
detailed selfexamination, I went before the Blessed Sacrament and asked Jesus
with all my heart, "Jesus, my Spouse, Treasure of my heart, You know that
I know You alone and that I have no other love but You; but, Jesus, if I were
about to become attached to anything that is not You, I beg and entreat You,
Jesus, by the power of Your mercy, let instant death descend upon me, for I
prefer to die a thousand times than to be unfaithful to You once in even the
smallest thing."
342 Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it purifies
the soul. In suffering, we learn who our true friend is.
343 True love is measured by the thermometer of suffering.
Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my
endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation of my
intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in which
we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for
self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for
the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
415 Saturday. During Vespers I saw the Lord Jesus radiant as
the sun, in a bright garment, and He said to me, May your heart be joyful. And
great joy flooded me, and I was penetrated with God's presence, which for the
soul is a treasure beyond words.
454 Once, the Lord said to me, My daughter, take the
graces that others spurn; take as many as you can carry. At that moment, my
soul was inundated with the love of God. I feel that I am united with the Lord
so closely that I cannot find words to express that union; in this state I
suddenly feel that all the things God has, all the goods and treasures, are
mine, although I set little store by them, for He alone is enough for me. In
Him I see my everything; without Him-nothing.
I look for no happiness beyond my own interior where God dwells. I rejoice that God dwells within me; here I abide with Him unendingly; it is here that my greatest intimacy with Him exists; here I dwell with Him in safety; here is a place not probed by the human eye. The Blessed Virgin encourages me to commune with God in this way.
I look for no happiness beyond my own interior where God dwells. I rejoice that God dwells within me; here I abide with Him unendingly; it is here that my greatest intimacy with Him exists; here I dwell with Him in safety; here is a place not probed by the human eye. The Blessed Virgin encourages me to commune with God in this way.
608 February 2, [1936]. In the morning, when the bell awoke
me, I was so overcome by drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped
into cold water, and after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to
meditation a host of absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I
had to struggle throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during prayer
time, but when Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart. Just
then, I saw Our Lady with the Infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph]
standing behind them. The most holy Mother said to me, Take My Dearest
Treasure, and She handed me the Infant Jesus. When I took the Infant Jesus
in my arms, the Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left alone
with the Infant Jesus.
649 Mass of the Resurrection. [April 12, 1936]. When I
entered the chapel, my spirit was immersed in God, its only treasure. His
presence flooded me.
763 November 22, [1936]. Today during confession, the Lord
Jesus spoke to me through the lips of a certain priest. This priest did not
know my soul, and I only accused myself of my sins; yet he spoke these words to
me: "Accomplish faithfully everything that Jesus asks of you, despite the
difficulties. Know that, although people may be angry with you, Jesus is not
angry and never will be angry with you. Pay no attention to human opinion."
This instruction surprised me at first; but I understood that the Lord was
speaking through him without his realizing it. O holy mystery, what great
treasures are contained in you! O holy faith, you are my guidepost!
781 O Love, O queen! Love knows no fear. It passes through
all the choirs of angels that stand on guard before His throne. It will fear no
one. It reaches God and is immersed in Him as in its sole treasure. The
Cherubim who guards paradise with flaming sword, has no power over it. O pure
love of God, how great and unequalled you are! Oh, if souls only knew your
power!
801 Today, I still managed to pay a short visit to the Lord
[in the Eucharist] before going to bed. My spirit was immersed in Him as in its
only treasure. My heart rested a while near the Heart of my Spouse. I received
light as to how I should behave toward those around me, and then I returned to
my solitude. The doctor is taking good care of me; all those around me are very
kind to me.
826 This morning I had an adventure. My watch had stopped,
and I did not know when to get up, and I thought of what a misfortune it would
be to miss Holy Communion. It was still dark, so I had no way of knowing
whether it was time to get up. I dressed, made my meditation and went to the
chapel, but everything was still locked, and silence reigned everywhere. I
steeped myself in prayer, especially for the sick. I now see how much the sick
have need of prayer. Finally, the chapel was opened. I found it difficult to
pray because I was already feeling very exhausted, and immediately after Holy
Communion I returned to my room. Then I saw the Lord, who said to me, Know,
My daughter, that the ardor of your heart is pleasing to Me. And just as you
desire ardently to become united with Me in Holy Communion, so too do I desire
to give Myself wholly to you; and as a reward for your zeal, rest on My Heart.
At that moment, my spirit was immersed in His Being, like a drop in a
bottomless ocean. I drowned myself in Him as in my sole treasure. Thus I came
to recognize that the Lord allows certain difficulties for His greater glory.
843 December 24, [1936]. During Holy Mass today, I was
united in a particular way with God and His Immaculate Mother. The humility and
love of the Immaculate Virgin penetrated my soul. The more I imitate the Mother
of God, the more deeply I get to know God. Oh, what infinite longing envelops
my soul! Jesus, how can You still leave me in this exile? I am dying of longing
for You. Every touch of my soul by You wounds me immensely. Love and suffering
go together; yet I would not exchange this pain caused by You for any treasure,
because it is the pain of incomprehensible delights, and these wounds of the
soul are inflicted by a loving hand.
846 December 25, [1936]. Midnight Mass. During Mass, God's
presence pierced me through and through. A moment before the Elevation I saw
the Mother of God and the Infant Jesus and the good Old Man [St. Joseph]. The
Most Holy Mother spoke these words to me: My daughter, Faustina, take this
most precious Treasure, and she gave me the Infant Jesus. When I took Jesus
in my arms, my soul felt such unspeakable joy that I am unable to describe it.
But, strange thing, after a short while Jesus became awful, horrible-looking,
grown up and suffering; and then the vision vanished, and soon it was time to
go to Holy Communion. When I received the Lord Jesus in Holy Communion, my soul
trembled under the influence of God's presence. The next day, I saw the Divine
Infant for a brief moment during the Elevation.
928 Then suddenly I saw the Lord, who clasped me to His
Heart and said to me, My daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your
tears. I will grant you everything you ask for, but stop crying. And I was
filled with great joy, and my spirit, as usual, was drowned in Him as in its
only treasure. Today, encouraged by His kindness, I conversed with Jesus at
greater length.
957 The pure offering of my will will burn on the altar of
love. That my sacrifice may be perfect, I unite myself closely with the
sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. When great sufferings will cause my nature to
tremble, and my physical and spiritual strength will diminish, then will I hide
myself deep in the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, silent as a dove, without
complaint. Let all my desires, even the holiest, noblest and most beautiful,
take always the last place and Your holy will, the very first. The least of
Your desires, O Lord, is more precious to me than heaven, with all its
treasures. I know very well that people will not understand me; that is why my
sacrifice will be purer in Your eyes.
969 +Today, I went to meditate before the Blessed Sacrament
[in the sanatorium chapel]. When I approached the altar, God's presence
pervaded my soul, I was plunged into the ocean of His divinity, and Jesus said
to me, My daughter, all that exists is yours. I answered the Lord,
"My heart wants nothing but You alone, O Treasure of my heart. For all the
gifts You give me, thank you, O Lord, but I desire only Your Heart. Though the
heavens are immense, they are nothing to me without You. You know very well, O
Jesus, that I am constantly swooning because of my longing for You." Know
this, My daughter, that you are already tasting now what other souls will
obtain only in eternity.
1021 + I have such a strong desire to hide myself that I
would like to live as though I did not exist. I feel a strange inner urge to
hide myself as deeply as possible so as to be known only to the Heart of Jesus.
I want to be a quiet little dwelling place for Jesus to rest in. I shall admit
nothing that might awaken my Beloved. My concealment gives me a chance to
commune constantly and exclusively with my Bridegroom. I commune with creatures
in so far as it is pleasing to Him. My heart has come to love the Lord with the
full force of love, and I know no other love, because it is from the beginning
that my soul has sunk deeply in the Lord as in its only treasure.
1064 + O my most sweet Master, good Jesus, I give You my
heart. You shape and mold it after Your liking. O fathomless love, I open the
calyx of my heart to You, like a rosebud to the freshness of dew. To You alone,
my Betrothed, is known the fragrance of the flower of my heart. Let the
fragrance of my sacrifice be pleasing to You. O Immortal God, my everlasting
delight, already here on earth You are my heaven. May every beat of my heart be
a new hymn of praise to You, O Holy Trinity! Had I as many hearts as there are
drops of water in the ocean or grains of sand in the whole world, I would offer
them all to You, O my Love, O Treasure of my heart! Whomever I shall meet in my
life, no matter who they may be, I want to draw them all to love You, O my
Jesus, my Beauty, my Repose, my sole Master, Judge, Savior and Spouse, all in
one; I know that one title will modify the other-I have entrusted everything to
Your mercy.
1122 God of great mercy, who deigned to send us Your only
begotten Son as the greatest proof of Your fathomless love and mercy, You do not
reject sinners; but in Your boundless mercy You have opened for them also Your
treasures, treasures from which they can draw abundantly, not only
justification, but also all the sanctity that a soul can attain. Father of
great mercy, I desire that all hearts turn with confidence to Your infinite
mercy. No one will be justified before You if he is not accompanied by Your
unfathomable mercy. When You reveal the mystery of Your mercy to us, there will
not be enough of eternity to properly thank You for it.
1385 November 19. After Communion today, Jesus told me how
much He desires to come to human hearts. I desire to unite Myself with human
souls; My great delight is to unite Myself with souls. Know, My daughter, that
when I come to a human heart in Holy Communion, My hands are full of all kinds
of graces which I want to give to the soul. But souls do not even pay any
attention to Me; they leave Me to Myself and busy themselves with other things.
Oh, how sad I am that souls do not recognize Love! They treat Me as a dead
object. I answered Jesus, "O Treasure of my heart, the only object of
my love and entire delight of my soul, I want to adore You in my heart as You
are adored on the throne of Your eternal glory. My love wants to make up to You
at least in part for the coldness of so great a number of souls. Jesus, behold
my heart which is for You a dwelling place to which no one else has entry. You
alone repose in it as in a beautiful garden.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-304, 338, 342-343, 415, 454)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-608, 649, 763, 781, 801, 826)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-843, 846, 928, 957, 969
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1021, 1064, 1122)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1385)
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