We Too Wish to See Jesus
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September 22, 2015. Tuesday of the Twenty-fifth Week in
Ordinary Time
Father Barry O’Toole, LC
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Luke
8:19-21
The mother of Jesus and his brothers came to him, but they could not reach him because of the crowd. And he was told, "Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you." But he said to them, "My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, You are the author of life and the
giver of all that is good. You are the Prince of Peace and my mainstay. You
are my healer and the cure itself. I need You, and I need to give You. I love
You and commit myself to You entirely, knowing You could never let me down or
deceive me. Thank You for giving me Your very self.
Petition: Lord, help me hear your word and do it.
1. “We Wish to See Jesus.” Today, as two thousand years ago, mankind
longs to see the face of Jesus. Each one has his own reason: some are in need
of healing –– like Bartimaeus, the blind man of Jericho who shouted after
Jesus until he took pity and cured him (Mark 10:46-52); some out of curiosity
–– like Zacchaeus, who climbed a tree to see Jesus because he was short in
stature (Luke 19:2-10); some to hear his word –– like the crowd that pressed
in on him to hear the word of God by the Lake of Gennesaret (Luke 5:1-10);
some out of love and to look after him – like the Blessed Virgin Mary and
Mary Magdalene (Mark 15:41).
2. Christ Is Not Easily Conquered: “They could not reach him because of the
crowd.” Though we may seek Christ with the purest of intentions, it is not
always easy to achieve our goal. There are bound to be obstacles along the
way, and we have to be prepared for them. Satan always tries to separate us
from God through sin, even putting the fear of confession in our hearts so we
don’t receive God’s healing grace. The world also attempts to keep us as far
from God as possible, offering a thousand distractions and amusements to lead
us away from prayer, reflection and conversion. And of course sometimes we
ourselves are so little inclined to piety, service to others and a virtuous
life. Laziness and indolence can overcome even the best of us. We need to let
him know we are seeking him.
3. Jesus Rejects His Closest Friends? What counts for Jesus are “those who listen
to the word of God and do it.” He came to preach to and save everyone. And
contrary to the first impression given by his words, this does not exclude
his mother and his relatives. Christ doesn’t lower them but rather elevates
us –– and them –– to a degree of intimacy greater than blood ties. This is
the beauty of God’s love: He calls us to an ever greater dignity and intimacy
with him.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, I want to see Your face in all the
events and happenings of this day. Drive away all my enemies and spiritual
tepidity. Cure my spiritual blindness, for You alone can help me. Without You
I can do no good. Help me to live up to this dignity You have bestowed upon
me.
Resolution: I will reserve five minutes this evening to
do a thorough examination of conscience and perhaps prepare for confession. I
will eliminate the obstacles I have to seeing God’s face and thank God for
the graces he has given me.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
6 I am to write [3]
down the encounters of my soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your
special visitations. I am to write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy
towards my poor soul. Your holy will is the life of my soul. I have received
this order through him who is for me Your representative here on earth, who
interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for me to
write, how unable I am to put down clearly what I experience in my soul. O
God, can a pen write down that for which many a time there are no words? But
You give the order to write, O God; that is enough for me.
18 However, after three weeks I became aware that there is so very
little time here for prayer, and of many other things which spoke to my soul
in favor of entering a religious community of a stricter observance. This
thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the will of God was not in it.
Still, the thought, or rather the temptation, was growing stronger and
stronger to the point where I decided one day to announce my departure to
Mother Superior and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God arranged the
circumstances in such a way that I could not get to the Mother Superior
[Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7]
before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for light in this matter. But I
received nothing in my soul except a strange unrest which I did not understand.
But, in spite of everything, I made up my mind to approach Mother Superior
the next morning right after Mass and tell her of my decision.
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who
most faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of
Your inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my
own, though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the
will of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You
will permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
678 The essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the
will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and
circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy
will of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I
live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize
inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings,
persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than popularity,
praise and esteem by my own will.
724 On the eve of the retreat, I started to
pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could
take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps
it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a
strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began
to thank the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to
His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to
the will of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of
life, gives great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries
more weight with Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe
penances. Oh, how great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the
will of God! As I write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God
loves it and of the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth.
742 My daughter, if I demand through you
that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself
by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are
to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always
and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve
yourself from it.
I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.
954 Today after Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My
delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you submit yourself to My
will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw down upon yourself a sea of
blessings. I would not take such special delight in you if you were not
living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am prepared for all sacrifices for
Your sake, but You know that I am weakness itself. Nevertheless, with You I
can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You, be with me at each instant.
1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I learned that I was to be
transferred to another house. My knowledge of this was purely interior. At
the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not be afraid, My daughter;
it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans will be thwarted,
since they must conform to My will.
1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said
to me, Why are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to
carry out? I answered, "Why do You leave me on my own at such times,
Jesus, and why do I not feel Your presence?" My daughter, even though
you do not perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still
cannot say that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My
presence, and that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will.
I do this to achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on.
My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else. 1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your misery does not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls-no one have I excluded! 1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without the will of God.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka
today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey.
But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and
had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray
of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace,
the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said, "Your will
be done, for everything is possible to You." When I was on the train and
gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the
torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began
to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled.
1200 I would have like to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God-and that has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels [cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].
1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or
receive Holy Communion today but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I
kept on repeating, "May the Lord's will be done. I know that Your bounty
is without limit." Then 1 heard an angel who sang out my whole life
history and everything it comprised. I was surprised, but also strengthened.
1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in
these days of suffering, I am not capable of any kind of prayer. The
oppression of my body and soul has increased. O my Jesus, You do see that
Your child is on the decline. I am not forcing myself further, but simply
submitting my will to the will of Jesus. O Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.
1205 When I went to confession, I did not
even know how to confess. However, the priest [probably Father Casimir
Ratkiewicz [205]]
recognized the condition of my soul at once and said to me, "Despite
everything, you are on the way to salvation; you are on the right path, but
God may leave your soul in this darkness and obscurity until death, and the
former light may never return. But in all things abandon yourself to the will
of God."
1207 August 10. Today I am returning to
Cracow, in the company of one of the sisters. My soul is shrouded in
suffering. I am continually uniting myself to Him by an act of the will. He
is my power and strength.
1208 May You be blessed, O God, for
everything You send me. Nothing under the sun happens without Your will. I
cannot penetrate Your secrets with regard to myself, but I press my lips to
the chalice You offer me.
1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me
and what nothingness is penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone;
grant me the grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery
of God's visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.
1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see
the condition of my soul. Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I
cannot bring forth from my heart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet,
I cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As
for You, You are ever the same, while within my soul a change takes place. I
trust that the time will come when You will unveil Your countenance, and Your
child will again see Your sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can
hide yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the enormous love
You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am listening and waiting for
Your coming, O only Treasure of my heart!
1241 + 0 my Jesus, when someone is unkind
and unpleasant toward us, it is difficult enough to bear this kind of
suffering. But this is very little in comparison to a suffering which I
cannot bear; namely, that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness
towards me and then lays snares at my feet at every step I take. What great
will power is necessary to love such a soul for God's sake. Many a time one
has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If contact with that
person were infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but when one lives in
close contact with the person and experiences this at each step, this demands
a very great effort.
1243
"These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's
wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it
can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's
graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in
everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in
question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although,
from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy
at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out
in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh,
how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She
covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right
hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand
She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her
mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously
till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I
desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility
and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy will.
My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God's
wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that
you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's will.
Put the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God
was entering my soul.
1255 "As concerns yourself, Sister, it
is good that you are remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything
that pertains to the will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state
of equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards
all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in
complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all
matters take counsel from your spiritual director. I beg you to keep your
levelheadedness and as great a calm as possible.One more thing-I am having
printed the chaplet which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the
invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on the back.
Another large image has also been printed, and with it a few pages which
contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy. [208]
Pray, Sister, that this be approved."
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko
left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the
great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I
became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a
priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My
daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I
shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls.
Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through
this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would
have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his
life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he
lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the
end of the world.
1262 September 3. First Friday of the month.
During Holy Mass, I became united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even
the smallest thing does not happen on earth without His will. After having
seen this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself completely
at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can deal with me as He pleases,
and I will bless Him for everything.
1264 Act of total abandonment to the will of
God, which is for me, love and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself. Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed. From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere.
1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the
cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy
will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will
of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg
You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my
lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the
world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget
Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus,
grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls,
helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your
Father....
1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The
Lord let me know how much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me
against... not only by prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this
grace. It will not go unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not
forget about her.
1267 September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new
assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I
went in to talk to the Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for
graces to faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these
words: My daughter, I am always with you. I have given you the opportunity
to practice deeds of mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You
will give Me much pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially
about this task. I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation
to my new duties; but, despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His
Heart.
1268 Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has
given me many more opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so
happened that I was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the
kitchen made it clear to me how irritated she was that I had come late for
dinner, although it was quite impossible for me to have come sooner. At any
rate, I felt so unwell that I had to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie down.
I went to ask Sister N. to take my place, and again I got a scolding:
"What is this, Sister, you're so exhausted that you're going back to bed
again! Confound you with all this lying in bed!" I put up with all that,
but that wasn't the end. I still had to ask the sister who was in charge of
the sick to bring me my meal. When I told her this, she burst out of the
chapel into the corridor after me to give me a piece of her mind: "Why
on earth are you going to bed, Sister, etc...... I asked her not to bother
bringing me anything. I am writing all this very briefly because it is not my
intention to write about such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade
souls from treating others in this way, for this is displeasing to the Lord.
In a suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified, and not a loafer or burden
on the community. A soul who suffers with submission to the will of God draws
down more blessings on the whole convent than all the working sisters. Poor
indeed is a convent where there are no sick sisters. God often grants many
and great graces out of regard for the souls who are suffering, and He
withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering souls.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-6, 18-19, 497)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-678, 724, 742, 954)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1180-1184, 1199-1200, 1202, 1204)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1207-1208, 1237, 1239, 1241, 1244 )
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1255-1256, 1262, 1264-1268)
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