Made for God
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February 3, 2016.
Wednesday of the Fourth Week in Ordinary Time
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Mark
6:1-6
He departed from there and came to his
native place, accompanied by his disciples. When the sabbath came he
began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. They
said, "Where did this man get all this? What kind of wisdom has been
given him? What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands! Is he not the
carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joses and Judas and
Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at
him. Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in
his native place and among his own kin and in his own house." So he was
not able to perform any mighty deed there, apart from curing a few sick
people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith. He
went around to the villages in the vicinity teaching.
Introductory Prayer: O Lord, You said that blest are they who find no stumbling
block in You. I want to be a blest person, so that You may find in me no
obstacle to the holiness You want for me. I believe in You, but I long for a
greater faith to see and respond to the signs of Your hand moving in my
world. I love You, Lord, and wish to lead my brothers and sisters to You
through my testimony, through my being truly convinced that You are the life
of men.
Petition: Lord, grant me the gift of total surrender to your will for me
in all things.
1. “Where did this man get all this? What
mighty deeds are wrought by his hands.” How beautiful it is to contemplate the humble and meek Christ!
He now manifests, to the shock and awe of the worldly-minded, the signs
of his true origin and the nature of his true mission. The power of
God, the power of the supernatural, now intervenes in what is merely natural
through the mere “carpenter’s son.” The “signs of credibility” that Christ
enacts through his mighty words and deeds powerfully point to his divine
origins and invite his contemporaries to faith. It is an invitation to
leave behind them the superficial category of Jesus as just a nice neighbor
(which means they can live the same as before) and receive the gift of Christ
as Redeemer (which means change and conversion). Are there signs in my life
that the Lord is looking to change me, to change my behavior in some way so I
might live more by faith and charity? How much longer will I resist
before I will am won over by his goodness?
2. “And they took offense at him.” It is a sacrifice to give God his place in
the ordinary flow of our day. To do so, we need to sacrifice our sense of
self-sufficiency, by which we are inclined to be the prime mover of
everything in our world. We need to sacrifice our vanity, which desists from
efforts to adore God since they bring little or no applause from those around
us. We need to sacrifice the comfort of our naturalism, our horizontal view
of things. Ultimately this sacrifice is a work of love responding to a divine
invitation to share in God’s life––love, because he is asking and wants to
see us giving. Let us move our hearts to embrace this sacrifice joyfully, for
the sake of love. It helps to see that in this passage there are no neutral
states. Those who reject the invitation to love are turned to love’s
opposite––hate, specifically the hatred of the supernatural. It is a tragedy
at work in our culture in many places, giving rise to the forces of
anti-evangelization. Let us pray and be vigilant that it may never become our
tragedy.
3. “He was not able to perform any mighty
deed there.” Our Lord makes
himself vulnerable to us, to our willingness to believe. He comes only to
make us happy and to elevate our lives to be more beautiful, deeper in
meaning and richer in fruits. He wants to bring into our life his power to work
miracles and to move mountains of fear and burdens that we encounter. He
comes to be ointment for our wounds and consolation for our weary hearts. The
only thing he needs to make us happy, then, is our faith, our unconditional
and active faith. Without it (since he respects our freedom), we cripple his
capacity to act in our life as Savior and Lord. How sad it is to see how
easily we refuse such a selfless and beautiful gift.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, teach me to receive You with a heart ready to leave my
rationalistic way of acting and choosing. Help me to know how to read Your
invitations with supernatural faith and to follow them in true obedience,
where true love proves itself.
Resolution: I will be very obedient to the lights I
receive today from the Holy Spirit, acting on them with promptness and
generosity.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
6 I am to write [3] down the encounters of my
soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I am to
write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor soul. Your holy
will is the life of my soul. I have received this order through him who is
for me Your representative here on earth, who interprets Your holy Will to
me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for me to write, how unable I am to
put down clearly what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen write down
that for which many a time there are no words? But You give the order to
write, O God; that is enough for me.
18 However, after three weeks I
became aware that there is so very little time here for prayer, and of many
other things which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a religious
community of a stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold of my soul,
but the will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather the
temptation, was growing stronger and stronger to the point where I decided
one day to announce my departure to Mother Superior and definitely to leave
[the convent]. But God arranged the circumstances in such a way that I could
not get to the Mother Superior [Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for
light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a strange
unrest which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my
mind to approach Mother Superior the next morning right afte rMass and tell
her of my decision.
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]
92 Humiliation
is my daily food. I understand that the bride must herself share in everything
that is the groom's; and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those
times when I suffer much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue
which, at such moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to
help me praise God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me.
When I receive Jesus in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal
my tongue so that I would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my
tongue to praise God without cease. Great are the faults committed by the
tongue. The soul will not attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its
tongue.
94 O my Lord,
inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may not grow weary amidst
the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how weak I am. Love can do
all.
95 +A Deeper
Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him. But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
96 +Trials sent by God to a soul which is particularly
loved by Him.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith
staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to
cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even
further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible.
God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this,
but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well
how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in
respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan
says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak about all
this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul
that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see.
It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at
times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the
whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is
at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under
the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are
heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already
been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted the
divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us are
impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future designs
and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this is not
yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the complete
abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of
Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
106 Though these
are frightening things, the soul should not be too fearful, because God will
never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On the other hand, He may
never send us such sufferings, but I write this because, if it pleases the
Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings, it should not be afraid but,
insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it should remain faithful to God.
God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love itself, and in this
unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when I was so tormented,
I myself did not understand this.
107 O my God, I
have come to know that I am not of this earth; You, O Lord, have poured this
profound awareness into my soul. My communion is more with heaven than with
earth, though I in no way neglect my duties.
115 + When a soul has come out of these tribulations, it
is deeply humble. Its purity of soul is great. It knows better without need
of reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a given moment and what to
forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is very faithful to God. It
recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices in Him. It discovers God
very quickly in other souls and in its environment in general. The soul has
been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit, introduces the soul to a
life which is purely spiritual. God himself has first prepared and purified
the soul; that is, He has made it capable of close communion with himself.
The soul, in a state of loving repose, communes spiritually with the Lord. It
speaks to God without the need of expressing itself through the senses. God
fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
140 Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not
broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong in the midst of great
difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and drab life of each day.
It knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest
things out of great love-love, and always love.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
200 O Jesus, how deeply it hurts the soul when it is
always trying to be sincere and they accuse it of hypocrisy and behave with
mistrust toward it. O Jesus, You also suffered like this to make satisfaction
to Your Father.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
580 On a certain occasion, the Lord said to me, I am
more deeply wounded by the small imperfections of chosen souls than by the
sins of those living in the world. It made me very sad that chosen souls
make Jesus suffer, and Jesus told me, These little imperfections are not
all. I will reveal to you a secret of My Heart: what I suffer from chosen
souls. Ingratitude in return for so many graces is My Heart's constant food,
on the part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is lukewarm, and My Heart
cannot bear it; these souls force Me to reject them. Others distrust My
goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet intimacy in their own
hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance, and do not find Me. This
distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My death has not convinced you
of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me mortally, and then no one can
comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me. There are souls who despise My
graces as well as all the proofs of My love. They do not wish to hear My
call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The loss of these souls plunges Me
into deadly sorrow. God though I am, I cannot help such a soul because it
scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or love Me. You, who are the
dispenser of My mercy, tell all the world about My goodness, and thus you
will comfort My Heart.
654 Now I understand that confession is only the
confessing of one's sins, and spiritual guidance is a different thing
altogether. But this is not what I want to speak about. I want to tell about
a strange thing that happened to me for the first time. When the confessor
started talking to me, I did not understand a single word. Then I saw Jesus
Crucified and He said to me, It is in My Passion that you must seek light
and strength. After the confession, I meditated on Jesus' terrible
Passion, and I understood that what I was suffering was nothing compared to
the Savior's Passion, and that even the smallest imperfection was the cause
of this terrible suffering. Then my soul was filled with very great
contrition, and only then I sensed that I was in the sea of the unfathomable
mercy of God. Oh, how few words I have to express what I am experiencing! I
feel I am like a drop of dew engulfed in the depths of the bottomless ocean
of divine mercy.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all
sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is
maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light
and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense
against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by
God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An
extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that,
despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I
knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have
come to know it, O God.
678 The
essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God
faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of
my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the
object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to
His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will
of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all
manner of adversities by divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my
own will.
724 On the eve of the retreat, I started to pray
that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could take
part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it
might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a strange
dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began to thank
the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to His holy
will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to the will
of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of life, gives
great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries more weight with
Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how
great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I
write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of
the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth.
954 Today after Holy Communion,
the Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It
is when you submit yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory
and draw down upon yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special
delight in you if you were not living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am
prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You know that I am weakness
itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You,
be with me at each instant.
1165 Know this, My daughter: if you strive for
perfection you will sanctify many souls; and if you do not strive for
sanctity, by the same token, many souls will remain imperfect. Know that
their perfection will depend on your perfection, and the greater part of the
responsibility for these souls will fall on you.
1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I
learned that I was to be transferred to another house. My knowledge of this
was purely interior. At the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not
be afraid, My daughter; it is My will that you should remain here. Human
plans will be thwarted, since they must conform to My will.
1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said to me, Why
are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to carry out? I
answered, "Why do You leave me on my own at such times, Jesus, and why
do I not feel Your presence?" My daughter, even though you do not
perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still cannot say
that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My presence, and
that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will. I do this to
achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on.
My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else.
1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter,
My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your
misery does not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the
misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to
trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all.
On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all
souls-no one have I excluded!
1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present
moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every
moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance
for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of
view that nothing happens without the will of God.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka today. I
went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey. But within
my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and had no one
[to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray of light in
my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace, the darkness
and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said, "Your will be done, for
everything is possible to You." When I was on the train and gazed
through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the
torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began
to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled.
1200 I would have like to hide and rest for a
while in solitude, in a word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is
capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about
myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent
at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God-and that
has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with
them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence
unless this is for the greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels
[cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].
1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or receive
Holy Communion today but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I kept on
repeating, "May the Lord's will be done. I know that Your bounty is
without limit." Then 1 heard an angel who sang out my whole life history
and everything it comprised. I was surprised, but also strengthened.
1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in these
days of suffering, I am not capable of any kind of prayer. The oppression of
my body and soul has increased. O my Jesus, You do see that Your child is on
the decline. I am not forcing myself further, but simply submitting my will
to the will of Jesus. O Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.
1205 When I went to confession, I did not even
know how to confess. However, the priest [probably Father Casimir Ratkiewicz [205]] recognized the
condition of my soul at once and said to me, "Despite everything, you
are on the way to salvation; you are on the right path, but God may leave
your soul in this darkness and obscurity until death, and the former light
may never return. But in all things abandon yourself to the will of
God."
1207 August 10. Today I am returning to Cracow, in
the company of one of the sisters. My soul is shrouded in suffering. I am
continually uniting myself to Him by an act of the will. He is my power and
strength.
1208 May You be blessed, O God, for everything You
send me. Nothing under the sun happens without Your will. I cannot penetrate
Your secrets with regard to myself, but I press my lips to the chalice You
offer me.
1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me and
what nothingness is penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone;
grant me the grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery
of God's visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.
1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see the
condition of my soul. Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I
cannot bring forth from my heart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet,
I cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As
for You, You are ever the same, while within my soul a change takes place. I
trust that the time will come when You will unveil Your countenance, and Your
child will again see Your sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can
hide yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the enormous love
You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am listening and waiting for
Your coming, O only Treasure of my heart!
1241 + 0 my Jesus, when someone is unkind and
unpleasant toward us, it is difficult enough to bear this kind of suffering.
But this is very little in comparison to a suffering which I cannot bear;
namely, that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness towards me and
then lays snares at my feet at every step I take. What great will power is
necessary to love such a soul for God's sake. Many a time one has to be
heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If contact with that person were
infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but when one lives in close contact
with the person and experiences this at each step, this demands a very great
effort.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark
awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to
know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should
appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties,
faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the
matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's
presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the
moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in
honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh,
how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She
covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right
hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand
She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her
mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously
till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I
desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility
and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all
God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire
that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's
will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God
was entering my soul.
1255 "As concerns yourself, Sister, it is
good that you are remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything
that pertains to the will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state
of equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards
all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in
complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all
matters take counsel from your spiritual director. I beg you to keep your
levelheadedness and as great a calm as possible.One more thing-I am having
printed the chaplet which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the
invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on the back.
Another large image has also been printed, and with it a few pages which
contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy. [208] Pray, Sister, that this
be approved."
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the end of the world.
1262 September 3. First Friday of the month.
During Holy Mass, I became united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even
the smallest thing does not happen on earth without His will. After having
seen this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself completely
at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can deal with me as He
pleases, and I will bless Him for everything.
1264 Act of total abandonment to the will of God,
which is for me, love and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself. Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed. From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere. 1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father....
1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The Lord let me know how
much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against... not only by
prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go
unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.
1267 September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new
assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went in to talk to the
Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully
carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I
am always with you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of
mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much
pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task.
I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but,
despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
1268 Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has given me
many more opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so happened that I
was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the kitchen made it clear
to me how irritated she was that I had come late for dinner, although it was
quite impossible for me to have come sooner. At any rate, I felt so unwell
that I had to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie down. I went to ask
Sister N. to take my place, and again I got a scolding: "What is this,
Sister, you're so exhausted that you're going back to bed again! Confound you
with all this lying in bed!" I put up with all that, but that wasn't the
end. I still had to ask the sister who was in charge of the sick to bring me
my meal. When I told her this, she burst out of the chapel into the corridor
after me to give me a piece of her mind: "Why on earth are you going to
bed, Sister, etc...... I asked her not to bother bringing me anything. I am
writing all this very briefly because it is not my intention to write about
such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade souls from treating others
in this way, for this is displeasing to the Lord. In a suffering soul we
should see Jesus Crucified, and not a loafer or burden on the community. A
soul who suffers with submission to the will of God draws down more blessings
on the whole convent than all the working sisters. Poor indeed is a convent
where there are no sick sisters. God often grants many and great graces out
of regard for the souls who are suffering, and He withholds many punishments
solely because of the suffering souls.
1293 It so happened that I fell again into a certain
error, in spite of a sincere resolution not to do so-even though the lapse
was a minor imperfection and rather involuntary-and at this I felt such acute
pain in my soul that I interrupted my work and went to the chapel for a
while. Falling at the feet of Jesus, with love and a great deal of pain, I
apologized to the Lord, all the more ashamed because of the fact that in my
conversation with Him after Holy Communion this very morning I had promised
to be faithful to Him. Then I heard these words: If it hadn't been for
this small imperfection, you wouldn't have come to Me. Know that as often as
you come to Me, humbling yourself and asking My forgiveness, I pour out a
superabundance of graces on your soul, and your imperfection vanishes before
My eyes, and I see only your love and your humility. You lose nothing but
gain much...
1566 When I was apologizing to the Lord Jesus for a
certain action of mine which, a little later, turned out to be imperfect,
Jesus put me at ease with these words: My daughter, I reward you for the
purity of your intention which you had at the time when you acted. My Heart
rejoiced that you had My love under consideration at the time you acted, and
that in so distinct a way; and even now you still derive benefit from this;
that is, from the humiliation. Yes, My child, I want you to always have such
great purity of intention in the very least things you undertake.
1584 O inconceivable goodness of God, which shields us at
every step, may Your mercy be praised without cease. That You became a
brother to humans, not to angels, is a miracle of the unfathomable mystery of
Your mercy. All our trust is in You, our first-born Brother, Jesus Christ,
true God and true Man. My heart flutters with joy to see how good God is to
us wretched and ungrateful people. And as a proof of His love, He gives us
the incomprehensible gift of Himself in the person of His Son. Throughout all
eternity we shall never exhaust that mystery of love. O mankind, why do you
think so little about God being truly among us? O Lamb of God, I do not know
what to admire in You first: Your gentleness, Your hidden life, the emptying
of Yourself for the sake of man, or the constant miracle of Your mercy, which
transforms souls and raises them up to eternal life. Although You are hidden
in this way, Your omnipotence is more manifest here than in the creation of
man. Though the omnipotence of Your mercy is at work in the justification of
the sinner, yet Your action is gentle and hidden.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 18, 19, 92, 94-98, 106-107)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-, 115, 140, 200, 497)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-580, 654, 666, 678, 724, 954)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1165, 1180-1184, 1199-1200)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1204-1205, 1207-1208)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1237, 1239, 1241, 1243-1244)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1255-1256, 1262, 1293)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1566, 1584)
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