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Father Patrick Langan, LC
John 14: 27-31a
Jesus said to his
disciples: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the
world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or
afraid. You heard me tell you, ´I am going away and I will come back to you.´
If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father; for the
Father is greater than I. And now I have told you this before it happens, so
that when it happens you may believe. I will no longer speak much with you,
for the ruler of the world is coming. He has no power over me, but the world
must know that I love the Father and that I do just as the Father has
commanded me."
Introductory Prayer:
Lord, thank You for
granting me the opportunity to be with You. There are things in life, Lord,
that attract me, but you attract me more. I hope in You, and I love You.
Maybe I don’t really understand what it means to love, and maybe I don’t love
the way I should, but I do love You.
Petition: Lord, help me always to remember who I am,
where I come from, and where I am going.
1. Activism: In today´s culture, many people believe,
almost religiously, that what they do will eventually make them someone. They
believe that from doing flows being, since their activity defines them. This
makes it easy for them to be exploited. In nineteenth century America, a
slave was often not told his birthday, so he could never really know who he
was. He was just made to work. This same temptation exists today. Many people
work such long hours — some as a means of escape from difficulties or
responsibilities at home; others for the satisfaction they feel seeing a job
completed; still others, just to earn more money and to be able to afford a
more comfortable life. However, these are all manifestations of the same
slavery.
2. My True Identity:
With his example,
however, Christ shows us a different way of life, a way that goes against the
current. First I have to be. Then my doing will flow from my being.
Christ says again and again: I am the Son of my Father. Now I will act
accordingly. When Moses asked God of the burning bush who he was, he said, “I
AM who AM.”
Who am I? What defines me is my relationship to God. Just imagine this: I
have the privilege of being a child of God! God has loved me so much that he
has adopted me as his child! This is something worthwhile. This is who I
really am, and I should act accordingly, as Christ taught me.
3. True Peace: Christ´s great peace comes as a consequence
of meditating on and living out who I really am. When I meditate, I discover
that I am God’s creature. Suddenly, I find the strength to face reality.
Others will be unable to exploit me, and I will stop exploiting others
because I am – and they are – children of God. My dignity derives from this
fundamental truth: I was created in God’s image and likeness. I came from
God, and he is inviting me to return to him and be happy with him for all
eternity.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, I have the bad
habit of focusing on my doing. That is why I am always anxious. I want to be
like You, Lord, seeing first who I am and letting my activity flow from that.
This will bring me peace. However, Lord, I need your grace. Help me to live
as a true son or daughter.
Resolution: Today, I will do two kind acts to someone
who is troubled in order to help them experience God’s love for them.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
23 Toward the end of the first
year of my novitiate, darkness began to cast its shadow over my soul. I felt
no consolation in prayer; I had to make a great effort to meditate; fear
began to sweep over me. Going deeper into myself, I could find nothing but
great misery. I could also clearly see the great holiness of God. I did not
dare to raise my eyes to Him, but reduced myself to dust under His feet and
begged for mercy. My soul was in this state for almost six months. Our
beloved Mother Directress [Mary Joseph [14]]
encouraged me in these difficult moments. But this suffering became greater
and greater.
The second year of the novitiate was approaching. Whenever I recalled that I
was to make my vows, my soul shuddered. I did not understand what I was
reading; I could not meditate; it seemed to me that my prayer was displeasing
to God. It seemed to me that by approaching the Holy Sacraments I was
offending God even more. But despite this, my confessor [Father Theodore [15]]
did not let me omit one single Holy Communion. God was working very strangely
in my soul. I did not understand anything at all of what my confessor was
telling me. The simple truths of the faith became incomprehensible to me. My
soul was in anguish, unable to find comfort anywhere.
36 Once I was summoned to the judgment
[seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know
Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for
five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete
condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will
have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before
the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me, Who are you? I answered, "I
am Your servant, Lord." You are guilty of one day of fire in
purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of purgatory,
but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for one day in
purgatory or for a short while on earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want
to suffer in purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on
earth, even if it were until the end of the world." Jesus said, One [of
the two] is enough; you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer
much, but not for long; you will accomplish My will and My desires, and a
faithful servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head on My
bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these sufferings,
because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else. Know
that you will have much, much to suffer, but don't let this frighten you; I
am with you.
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father
Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must
not turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to
your confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to
your own self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the
good of other souls, l urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect
them, but always do so in consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the
spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the
evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor
specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it
would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the
other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God.
Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all
is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the
first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special
graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the
Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God
suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told
me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages:
`She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like
the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of
little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of
others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a
way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow
happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then,
generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled
with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment.
Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God
push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of
the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress
[Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity
and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like
a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility,
content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others
fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility.
Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains
down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble
souls."
62 O life so dull and monotonous, how many treasures you
contain! When I look at everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are
alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear. The grace which is given me
in this hour will not be repeated in the next. It may be given me again, but
it will not be the same grace. Time goes on, never to return again. Whatever
is enclosed in it will never change; it seals with a seal for eternity.
91 O my Jesus, You alone know what persecutions I suffer,
and this only because I am being faithful to You and following Your orders.
You are my strength; sustain me that I may always carry out what You ask of
me. Of myself I can do nothing, but when You sustain me, all difficulties are
nothing for me. O my Lord, I can see very well that from the time when my
soul first received the capacity to know You, my life has been a continual
struggle which has become increasingly intense.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's
struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it
is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie
Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the
courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are
in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist.
O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for
the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way
You have marked out for me.
92 Humiliation is my daily food. I understand that the
bride must herself share in everything that is the groom's; and so His cloak
of mockery must cover me, too. At those times when I suffer much, I try to
remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at such moments, is
inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to help me praise God for all the
blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I receive Jesus in Holy
Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue so that I would
offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to praise God without
cease. Great are the faults committed by the tongue. The soul will not attain
sanctity if it does not keep watch over its tongue.
94 O my Lord, inflame my heart with love for You, that my
spirit may not grow weary amidst the storms, the sufferings and the trials.
You see how weak I am. Love can do all.
95 +A Deeper Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness -
that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but
piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not
last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the
soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as
before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in
vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did
before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive
within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge
of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him.
But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it
is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up
alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror,
but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord.
These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is
crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has
responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it
with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At
certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and
greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree
of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep
within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems
difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into
God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not
take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in
fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should
add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace
if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is
fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's
permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These
temptations are terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The
soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand
firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The
soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity
toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you;
why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and
it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it
does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is
a terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor!
The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every
effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the
soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the
precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them
to a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him
and which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has
His own plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this
way for His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold
is tried. But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the
trial of trials, the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though
it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon
God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees
within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely
abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but
one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries
to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as
this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds
itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a
precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and
tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which
it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring
it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend
it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for
her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to
darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love
so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does
not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And
this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give
it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner.
From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will
comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst
of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will
you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our
power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows
him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of
your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the
rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by
God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve
to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The
ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It
shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has
accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no
words. This is the agony of the soul.
102 After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell
and found me almost dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress
of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the
ground. My strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The
Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about
the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be distressed about
anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of obedience." Then
she said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is calling you to a high
degree of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close to Himself since He
has allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister,
because this is a sign that He wants you to have a high place in
heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these words. When I
went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free from
everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I perceived
the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
106 Though these are frightening things, the soul should
not be too fearful, because God will never test us beyond what we are able to
bear. On the other hand, He may never send us such sufferings, but I write
this because, if it pleases the Lord to let a soul pass through such
sufferings, it should not be afraid but, insofar as this depends on the soul
itself, it should remain faithful to God. God will do a soul no harm, because
He is Love itself, and in this unfathomable love has called it into being.
However, when I was so tormented, I myself did not understand this.
107 O my God, I have come to know that I am not of this
earth; You, O Lord, have poured this profound awareness into my soul. My
communion is more with heaven than with earth, though I in no way neglect my
duties.
111 When, in the midst of these interior torments, I tried
to accuse myself in confession of the smallest trifles, the priest was surprised
that I had not committed graver faults, and he said to me, "If you are
as faithful as this to God during these sufferings, this in itself is
evidence to me that God is sustaining you, Sister, with a special grace, and
it is a good thing that you do not understand this." It is a strange
thing, nevertheless, that confessors could neither understand me nor set my
mind at peace concerning these matters, until I met Father Andrasz and, later
on, Father Sopocko.
114 +Oh, how pleasing are the hymns flowing from a
suffering soul! All heaven delights in such a soul, especially when it is
tested by God. It mournfully sings out its longing for Him. Great is its
beauty, because it comes from God. The soul walks through the jungle of life,
wounded by God's love. With one foot only it touches the ground.
115 + When a soul has come out of these tribulations, it
is deeply humble. Its purity of soul is great. It knows better without need
of reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a given moment and what to
forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is very faithful to God. It
recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices in Him. It discovers God
very quickly in other souls and in its environment in general. The soul has
been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit, introduces the soul to a
life which is purely spiritual. God himself has first prepared and purified
the soul; that is, He has made it capable of close communion with himself.
The soul, in a state of loving repose, communes spiritually with the Lord. It
speaks to God without the need of expressing itself through the senses. God
fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of
the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was
imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the
senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There
is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union.
Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more
profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of
illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a
greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely
spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most
closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete
and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this.
But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the
confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even
greater patience with itself.
129 Satan always takes advantage
of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to the surface-for
your faithfulness and sincerity-this is your reward. How can one be sincere
when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer. Again
I fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a sweat, and fear
began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a
voice within my soul, Do not fear; I am with you. And an unusual light
illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such
sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new
courage to suffer.
132 I must again mention that
there are some confessors who seem to be true spiritual fathers, but only as
long as things go well. When the soul finds itself in greater need, they
become perplexed, and either cannot or will not understand the soul. They try
to get rid of the person as soon as possible. But if the soul is humble, it
will always profit in some little way or other. God himself will sometimes
cast a shaft of light into the depths of the soul, because of its humility
and faith. The confessor will sometimes say something he had never intended
to say, without even realizing it himself. Oh, let the soul believe that such
words are the words of the Lord himself! Though indeed we ought to believe
that every word spoken in the confessional is God's, what I have referred to
above is something that comes directly from God. And the soul perceives that
the priest is not master of himself, that he is saying things that he would
rather not say. This is how God rewards faith.
I have experienced this many times myself. A certain very learned and
respected priest [probably Father Wilkowski, the sisters' confessor at
Plock], to whom I sometimes happened to go to confession, was always severe
and opposed to these matters [which I brought up to him]. But on one occasion
he replied to me, "Bear in mind, Sister, that if God is asking this of
you, you should not oppose Him. God sometimes wants to be praised in just
this way. Be at peace; what God has started, He will finish. But I say this
to you: faithfulness to God and humility. And once again: humility. Bear well
in mind what I have told you today." I was delighted, and I thought that
perhaps this priest had understood me. But it so turned out that I never went
to confession to him again.
136 And the Lord gave me to know
that the whole mystery depended on me, on my free consent to the sacrifice
given with full use of my faculties. In this free and conscious act lies the
whole power and value before His Majesty. Even if none of these things for
which I offered myself would ever happen to me, before the Lord everything
was as though it had already been consummated.
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the
incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my
consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do
with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy
will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with
the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with
me at every moment of my life."
138 A great mystery has been
accomplished between God and me. Courage and strength have remained in my
soul. When the time of adoration came to an end, I came out and calmly faced
everything I had feared so much before. When I came out into the corridor, a
great suffering and humiliation, at the hands of a certain person, was
awaiting me. I accepted it with submission to a higher will and snuggled
closely to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting Him know that I was ready
for that for which I had offered myself.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself
was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't
worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed;
each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get
ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I
feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of
my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage,
she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with
God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls
that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who
follow those inspirations faithfully.
139 Still, a soul which is
faithful to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it must submit them to
the control of a very wise and learned priest; and until it is quite certain,
it should remain distrustful. It should not, on its own initiative alone, put
its trust in these inspirations and all other higher graces, because it can
thus expose itself to great losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and
those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are
uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own
sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for
help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once
a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace
and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to
the directions of the confessor.
145 Oh, how wretched my soul is
for having wasted so many graces! I was running away from God, and He pursued
me with his graces. I most often experienced God's graces when I least expected
them. From the moment He gave me a spiritual director, I have been more
faithful to grace. Thanks to the director and his watchfulness over my soul,
I have learned what guidance means and how Jesus looks at it. Jesus warned me
of the least fault and stressed that He himself judges the matter that I
present to my confessor; and [He told me] that ... any transgressions
against the confessor touch Me myself.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and
peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for
combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has
more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in
fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a
Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave
me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I
did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything
and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It
has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to
what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director
[Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things
of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the
confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is
infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many
inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these
inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes
it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul
recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It
knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties,
but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which
God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread,
as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who
is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from
being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is
launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but
examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays
fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise.
When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it
must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for
cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By
this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time
of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has
no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of
preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and
again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted
soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall.
O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But
for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
148 +A noble and delicate soul,
even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in
everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most
hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all
things, it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all
things, and it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not
confused when the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best
of Fathers and makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the
faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and
holds onto Him like a child to its mother. Where other souls come to a
standstill and fear, this soul passes on without fear or difficulty.
149 When the Lord himself wants to
be close to a soul and to lead it, He will remove everything that is
external. When I fell ill and was taken to the infirmary, I suffered much
unpleasantness because of this. There were two of us sick in the infirmary.
Sisters would come to see Sister N., but no one came to visit me. It is true
that there was only one infirmary, but each one had her own cell. The winter
nights were long, and Sister N. had the light and the radio headphones, while
I could not even prepare my meditation for lack of a light.
When nearly two weeks had passed in this way, I complained to the Lord one
evening that I was suffering so much and that I could not even prepare my
meditation because there was no light. And the Lord said that He would come
every evening and give me the points for the next day's meditation. These
points always concerned His sorrowful Passion. He would say, Consider My
sufferings before Pilate. And thus, point by point, I meditated upon His
sorrowful Passion for one week. From that moment, a great joy entered my
soul, and I no longer wanted either the visitors or the light; Jesus sufficed
me for everything. The superiors were indeed very solicitous for the sick,
but the Lord ordained that I should feel forsaken. This best of masters
withdraws every created thing in order that He himself might act. Many a
time, I have experienced such sufferings and persecutions that Mother M.
[probably Mother Margaret] herself said to me, "Sister, along your path,
sufferings just spring up out of the ground. I look upon you, Sister, as one
crucified. But I can see that Jesus has a hand in this. Be faithful to the
Lord."
150 + I want to write down a dream
that I had about Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I was still a novice at
the time and was going through some difficulties which I did not know how to
overcome. They were interior difficulties connected with exterior ones. I
made novenas to various saints, but the situation grew more and more
difficult. The sufferings it caused me were so great that I did not know how
to go on living, but suddenly the thought occurred to me that I should pray
to Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I started a novena to this Saint,
because before entering the convent I had had a great devotion to her. Lately
I had somewhat neglected this devotion, but in my need I began again to pray
with great fervor.
On the fifth day of the novena, I dreamed of Saint Therese, but it was as if
she were still living on earth. She hid from me the fact that she was a saint
and began to comfort me, saying that I should not be worried about this matter,
but should trust more in God. She said, "I suffered greatly, too,"
but I did not quite believe her and said, "It seems to me that you have
not suffered at all." But Saint Therese answered me in a convincing
manner that she had suffered very much indeed and said to me, "Sister,
know that in three days the difficulty will come to a happy conclusion."
When I was not very willing to believe her, she revealed to me that she was a
saint. At that moment, a great joy filled my soul, and I said to her,
"You are a saint?" "Yes," she answered, "I am a
saint. Trust that this matter will be resolved in three days:" And I
said, "Dear sweet Therese, tell me, shall I go to heaven?" And she
answered, "Yes, you will go to heaven, Sister." "And will I be
a saint?" To which she replied, "Yes, you will be a saint."
"But, little Therese, shall I be a saint as you are, raised to the
altar?" And she answered, "Yes, you will be a saint just as I am,
but you must trust in the Lord Jesus." I then asked her if my mother and
father would go to heaven, will [unfinished sentence] And she replied that
they would. I further asked, "And will my brothers and sisters go to
heaven?" She told me to pray hard for them, but gave me no definite
answer. I understood that they were in need of much prayer.
This was a dream. And as the proverb goes, dreams are phantoms; God is faith.
Nevertheless, three days later the difficulty was solved very easily, just as
she had said. And everything in this affair turned out exactly as she said it
would. It was a dream, but it had its significance.
159 +O Blessed Host, in golden
chalice enclosed for me,
That through the vast wilderness of exile
I may pass-pure, immaculate, undefiled;
Oh, grant that through the power of Your love this might come to be.
O Blessed Host, take up Your dwelling within my soul,
O Thou my heart's purest love!
With Your brilliance the darkness dispel.
Refuse not Your grace to a humble heart.
O Blessed Host, enchantment of all heaven,
Though Your beauty be veiled
And captured in a crumb of bread,
Strong faith tears away that veil.
170 The first day of the retreat.
I tried to be the first in the chapel in the morning; before the meditation I
had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly
begged the Mother of God to obtain for me the grace of fidelity to these
inner inspirations and of faithfully carrying out God's will, whatever it
might be. I began this retreat with a very special kind of courage.
171 Struggle to keep silence. As
usual, sisters from various houses came to the retreat. One of the sisters
whom I had not seen for a long time, came to my cell and said she had
something to tell me. I did not answer her, and she saw that I did not want
to break silence. She said to me, "I didn't know you were such an
eccentric, sister," and she went away. I was well aware that she had no
other business with me than to satisfy her own curious self-love. O God,
preserve me in faithfulness.
174 At that moment the
priest came in and began the conference. He spoke for a short time, as if he
were in a hurry. After the conference, he went over to the confessional.
Seeing that none of the sisters were going there, I sprang from my kneeler,
and in an instant was in the confessional. There was no time to deliberate. Instead
of telling the father about the doubts that had been sown in me in respect to
my dealings with the Lord Jesus, I began to speak about these temptations I
have just described above. The confessor immediately understood my situation
and said, "Sister, you distrust the Lord Jesus because He treats you so
kindly. Well, Sister, be completely at peace. Jesus is your Master, and your
communing with Him is neither daydreaming nor hysteria nor illusion. Know
that you are on the right path. Please try to be faithful to these graces;
you are not free to shun them. You do not need at all, Sister, to tell your
superiors about these interior graces, unless the Lord Jesus instructs you
clearly to do so, and even then you should first consult with your confessor.
But if the Lord Jesus demands something external, in this case, after
consulting your confessor, you should carry out what He asks of you, even if
this costs you greatly. On the other hand, you must tell your confessor
everything. There is absolutely no other course for you to take, Sister. Pray
that you may find a spiritual director, or else you will waste these great
gifts of God. I repeat once again, be at peace; you are following the right
path. Take no heed of anything else, but always be faithful to the Lord
Jesus, no matter what anyone says about you. It is with just such miserable
souls that the Lord Jesus communes in this intimate way. And the more you
humble yourself, the more the Lord Jesus will unite Himself with you."
175 176 177
189 On one occasion, Jesus gave me
to know how pleasing to Him is the soul that faithfully keeps the rule. A
soul will receive a greater reward for observing the rule than for penances
and great mortification's. The latter will be rewarded also if they are
undertaken over and above the rule, but they will not surpass the rule.
204 A short conversation with
Mother Directress [Margaret]. When I asked her about some particulars
concerning progress in the spiritual life, this holy Mother answered
everything with great clarity. She said to me, "if you continue
cooperating with God's grace in this way, Sister, you will be only one step
away from close union with God. You understand what I mean by this. This
means that your characteristic trait should be faithfulness to the grace of
the Lord. God does not lead all souls along such a path."
210 I fervently beg the Lord to
strengthen my faith, so that in my drab, everyday life I will not be guided
by human dispositions, but by those of the spirit. Oh, how everything drags
man towards the earth! But lively faith maintains the soul in the higher
regions and assigns self-love its proper place; that is to say, the lowest
one.
226 The rules that I most
often fail to obey: sometimes I break silence; disobedience to the signal of
the bell; sometimes I meddle in other people's affairs. I will do my very
best to improve.
I will avoid sisters who grumble, and if they cannot be avoided, I will at
least keep silent before them, thus letting them know how sorry I am to hear
such things. I must take no heed of the opinion of others, but obey the
evidence of my own conscience and take God to be the witness of all my
actions. I must do everything and act in all matters now as I would like to
do and act at the hour of my death. For this reason, in every action I must
be mindful of God.
Avoid presumed permissions.[67]
I must report [even] small things to my superiors, and do so in as much
detail as is possible. I must be faithful in my spiritual exercises; I must
not easily ask to be dispensed from them. I must keep silence outside the
time of recreation, and avoid jokes and witty words that make others laugh
and break silence. I must have great appreciation for even the most minute
rules. I must not let myself become absorbed in the whirl of work, [but] take
a break to look up to heaven. Speak little with people, but a good deal with
God. Avoid familiarity. I must pay little attention as to who is for me and who
is against me. I must not tell others about those things I have had to put up
with. I must avoid speaking out loud to others during work. I must maintain
peace and equanimity during times of suffering. In difficult moments I must
take refuge in the wounds of Jesus; I must seek consolation, comfort, light
and affirmation in the wounds of Jesus.
227 +In the midst of trials I will
try to see the loving hand of God. Nothing is as constant as suffering-it
always faithfully keeps the soul company. O Jesus, I will let no one surpass
me in loving You!
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
230 Jesus, living Host, You are my
Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust
that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as
a child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
234 When I finished this
confession, my spirit was immersed in God, and I prayed for three hours, but
it seemed to me like only a few minutes. Since then, I have placed no
obstacles in the way of grace working in my soul. Jesus knew why I had been
afraid to commune intimately with Him and was not at all offended. From the
moment the priest assured me that what I had experienced was not an illusion,
but the grace of God, I have tried to be faithful to God in everything. I can
see now that there are few such priests who understand the full depth of
God's work in the soul. Since then, my wings have been set free for flight,
and I yearn to soar into the very fire of the sun. My flight will not come to
an end until I rest in Him forever. When we fly very high, all the vapors,
mists and clouds are beneath our feet, and our whole carnal being is
necessarily subject to the spirit.
248 The words of the Bishop
[Rospond[73]], spoken at the ceremony of the taking of perpetual
vows: "Accept this candle as a sign of heavenly light and of burning
love." While giving the ring: "I betroth you to Jesus Christ, the
Son of the Father Most High; may He keep you unblemished. Take this ring as a
sign of the eternal covenant you are making with Christ, the Spouse of
Virgins. May it be for you the ring of faith and the sign of the Holy Spirit,
that you may be called the bride of Christ and, if you serve Him faithfully,
be crowned [as such] for all eternity.
249 +Jesus, I trust in You; I
trust in the ocean of your mercy. You are a Mother to me.
257 Tomorrow I am to leave for
Vilnius. Today, I went to confession to Father Andrasz, this priest who is so
filled with the spirit of God, who untied my wings so that I could soar to
the highest summits. He reassured me in everything and told me to believe in
Divine Providence. "Have confidence and walk ahead with courage."
An extraordinary, divine power came over me after that confession. Father
stressed that I must be faithful to God's grace and said, "No harm will
come to you if, in the future, you continue to keep this same simplicity and
obedience. Have confidence in God; you are on the right path and in good
hands, in God's hands."
263 +The week for confession came
and, to my great joy, I saw the priest I had known before coming to Vilnius.
[That is to say,] I had known him by seeing him in a vision. At that moment,
I heard these words in my soul: This is My faithful servant; he will help
you to fulfill My will here on earth. Yet, I did not open myself to him
as the Lord wished. And for some time I struggled against grace. During each
confession, God's grace penetrated me in a very special way, yet I did not
reveal my soul before him, and I had the intention of not going to confession
to that priest. After this decision, a terrible anxiety entered my soul. God
reproached me severely. When I did lay bare my soul completely to this
priest, Jesus poured an ocean of graces into it. Now I understand what it
means to be faithful to a particular grace. That one grace draws down a whole
series of others.
264 +O my Jesus, keep me near to
You! See how weak I am! I cannot go a step forward by myself; so You, Jesus,
must stand by me constantly like a mother by a helpless child-and even more
so.
272 But previously, this priest
had put me through many trials. When I told him that the Lord wanted these
things of me [that is, the painting of the image, the establishing of a feast
of The Divine Mercy, and the founding of a new community], he laughed at me
and told me to come to confession at eight in the evening. When I came at
eight, a brother was already locking the church. When I told him that Father
had ordered me to come at that time and asked him to let Father know I was
there, the good brother went to let him know. Father told him to tell me that
priests do not hear confessions at that time of day. I returned home emptyhanded
and did not go to confession to him again, but I made a whole hour's
adoration and took on certain mortifications for him, that he might obtain
light from God in order to know souls. But when Father Sopocko left, and he
substituted for him, I was forced to go to confession to him. Yet, while
previously he had been unwilling to acknowledge these inner inspirations, he
now put me under obligation to be faithful to them. God lets such things
happen sometimes, but may He be glorified in everything. Still, it requires
much grace not to falter.
278 At the feet of the Lord.
Hidden Jesus, Eternal Love, our Source of Life, Divine Madman, in that You
forget yourself and see only us. Before creating heaven and earth, You
carried us in the depths of Your Heart. O Love, O depth of Your abasement, O
mystery of happiness, why do so few people know You? Why is Your love not
returned? O Divine Love, why do You hide Your beauty? O Infinite One beyond
all understanding, the more I know You the less I comprehend You; but because
I cannot comprehend You, I better comprehend Your greatness. I do not envy
the Seraphim their fire, for I have a greater gift deposited in my heart.
They admire You in rapture, but Your Blood mingles with mine. Love is heaven
given us already here on earth. Oh, why do You hide in faith? Love tears away
the veil. There is no veil before the eye of my soul, for You yourself have
drawn me into the bosom of secret love forever. Praise and glory be to You, O
Indivisible Trinity, One God, unto ages of ages!
291 On a certain occasion, I saw a
person about to commit a mortal sin. I asked the Lord to send me the greatest
torments so that that soul could be saved. Then I suddenly felt the terrible
pain of a crown of thorns on my head. It lasted for quite a long time, but
that person remained in the Lord's grace. 0 my Jesus, how very easy it is to
become holy; all that is needed is a bit of good will. If Jesus sees this
little bit of good will in the soul, He hurries to give himself to the soul,
and nothing can stop Him, neither shortcomings nor falls-absolutely nothing.
Jesus is anxious to help that soul, and if it is faithful to this grace from
God, it can very soon attain the highest holiness possible for a creature
here on earth. God is very generous and does not deny His grace to anyone.
Indeed He gives more than what we ask of Him. Faithfulness to the
inspirations of the Holy Spirit-that is the shortest route.
292 +When a soul loves God
sincerely, it ought not fear anything in the spiritual life. Let it subject
itself to the action of grace, and let it not impose any restraints on itself
in communing with the Lord.
294 +Once
the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar
who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers
thanks the more fervently. You too should not back away and say that you are
not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you
are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as many treasures from My
Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me more. And I will tell you
one more thing: Take these graces not only for yourself, but also for others;
that is, encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My
infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete confidence in
Me. I will do everything for them.
300 +Ask of my faithful servant
[Father Sopocko] that, on this day, he tell the whole world of My great
mercy; that whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted
complete remission of sins and punishment.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am
Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My
Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My
Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
301 Proclaim that mercy is the
greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy.
302 +O Eternal Love, I want all
the souls You have created to come to know You. I would like to be a priest,
for then I would speak without cease about Your mercy to sinful souls drowned
in despair. I would like to be a missionary and carry the light of faith to
savage nations in order to make You known to souls, and to be completely
consumed for them and to die a martyr's death, just as You died for them and
for me. O Jesus, I know only too well that I can be a priest, a missionary, a
preacher, and that I can die a martyr's death by completely emptying myself
and denying myself for love of You, O Jesus, and of immortal souls.
328 O purest Love, rule in all
Your plenitude in my heart and help me to do Your holy will most faithfully!
331 Oh, how great a grace it is to
have a spiritual director! One makes more rapid progress in virtue, sees the
will of God more clearly, fulfills it more faithfully, and follows a road
that is sure and free of dangers. The director knows how to avoid the rocks
against which the soul could be shattered. The Lord gave me this grace rather
late, to be sure, but I rejoice in it greatly, seeing how God inclines His
will to my director's wishes. I will mention just one incident out of a
thousand that have happened to me. As I usually do, I asked the Lord Jesus
one evening to give me the points for next day's meditation. I received the
answer: Meditate on the Prophet Jonah and his mission. I thanked the Lord,
but began to think within myself of how different that subject was from the
others. But with all my soul I strove to meditate about it, and I recognized
myself in the person of the prophet, in the sense that often I, too, try to
make excuses to the Lord, claiming that someone else would do His holy will
better [than I could], and not understanding that God can do all things and
that His omnipotence will be all the more manifest if the tool is poorer. God
made this clear to me in the following way. That afternoon, there was
confession for the community. When I presented to the director of my soul the
fear that seized me because of this mission for which God was using me,
clumsy tool that I was, my spiritual father answered that, willing or not, we
must carry out the will of God, and he gave me the Prophet Jonah as an
example. After the confession, I wondered how the confessor knew that God had
told me to meditate about Jonah; surely I myself had not told him. Then I
heard these words:When the priest acts in my place, he does not act of
himself, but I act through him. His wishes are Mine. I can see how Jesus
defends His representatives. He himself enters into their actions.
333 I now see clearly how God acts
through the confessor and how faithfully He keeps His promises. Two weeks
ago, my confessor told me to reflect upon this spiritual childhood. It was
somewhat difficult at first, but my confessor, disregarding my difficulties,
told me to continue to reflect upon spiritual childhood. "In practice,
this spiritual childhood," [he said,] "should manifest itself in
this way: a child does not worry about the past or the future, but makes use
of the present moment. I want to emphasize that spiritual childlikeness in
you, Sister, and I place great stress upon it." I can see how God bows
down to my confessor's wishes; He does not show himself to me at this time as
a Teacher in the fullness of His strength and human adulthood, but as a
little Child. The God who is beyond all understanding stoops to me under the
appearance of a little Child.
352 At the chapter, Mother
[Borgia] stressed a life of faith and fidelity in small things. Half way
through the chapter, I heard these words: I desire that you would all have
more faith at the present time. How great is My joy at the faithfulness of My
spouse in the smallest things. Then I looked at the crucifix and saw that
Jesus' head was turned towards the refectory, and His lips were moving.
When I told Mother Superior about it, she answered, "You see, Sister,
how Jesus demands that our life be a life of faith."
353 When Mother left for the chapel and I stayed to set the room in order, I
heard these words: Tell all the sisters that I demand that they live in
the spirit of faith towards the superiors at this present time. I begged
my confessor to release me from this duty.
424 In the evening, I just about
got into bed, and I fell asleep immediately. Though I fell asleep quickly, I
was awakened even more quickly. A little child came and woke me up. The child
seemed about a year old, and I was surprised it could speak so well, as
children of that age either do not speak or speak very indistinctly The child
was beautiful beyond words and resembled the Child Jesus, and he said to me, Look
at the sky. And when I looked at the sky I saw the stars and the moon
shining. Then the child asked me,Do you see this moon and these stars? When
I said yes, he spoke these words to me, These stars are the souls of
faithful Christians, and the moon is the souls of religious. Do you see how
great the difference is between the light of the moon and the light of the
stars? Such is the difference in heaven between the soul of a religious and
the soul of a faithful Christian. And he went on to say that, True
greatness is in loving God and in humility.
449 I prepared for this feast with
greater zeal than in previous years. On the morning of the feast itself, I
experienced an inner struggle at the thought that I must leave this
Congregation which enjoys such special protection from Mary. This struggle
lasted through the meditation and through the first Mass as well. During the
second Mass, I turned to our Holy Mother, telling Her that it was difficult
for me to separate myself from this Congregation... "which is under Your
special protection, O Mary." Then I saw the Blessed Virgin, unspeakably
beautiful. She came down from the altar to my kneeler, held me close to
herself and said to me, I am Mother to you all, thanks to the unfathomable
mercy of God. Most pleasing to Me is that soul which faithfully carries out
the will of God. She gave me to understand that I had faithfully
fulfilled the will of God and had thus found favor in His eyes. Be
courageous. Do not fear apparent obstacles, but fix your gaze upon the
Passion of My Son, and in this way you will be victorious.
481 Almost every feast of the
Church gives me a deeper knowledge of God and a special grace. That is why I
prepare myself for each feast and unite myself closely with the spirit of the
Church. What a joy it is to be a faithful child of the Church! Oh, how much I
love Holy Church and all those who live in it! I look upon them as living
members of Christ, who is their Head. I burn with love with those who love; I
suffer with those who suffer, I am consumed with sorrow at the sight of those
whoa are cold and ungrateful; and I then try to have such a love for God that
it will make amends for those who do not love Him, those who feed their
Savior with ingratitude at its worst.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word
Incarnate, who most faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am
becoming a martyr of Your inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because
I have no will of my own, though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit
in everything to the will of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow
Your will insofar as You will permit me to do so through Your representative.
O my Jesus, it cannot be helped, but I give priority to the voice of the
Church over the voice with which You speak to me.
500 During Holy Mass I prayed
fervently that Jesus might become King of all hearts and that divine grace
might shine in every soul. Then I saw Jesus as He is depicted in the image,
and He said to me, My daughter, you give Me the greatest glory by
faithfully fulfilling My desires.
506 "Do nothing without the
consent of the superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray
much. One must be very careful about these things because, in your present
situation, Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact
bound to this Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there
should be no doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only
the glimmerings of a project. God can make some alterations, but such things
are very rare. Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more
precise knowledge. The works of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him,
you will surely recognize them clearly. If they are not, they will disappear;
and you, by being obedient, will not go astray. Speak frankly about
everything to your confessor and obey him blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than
accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that
is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these
matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is
a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall
into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things,
but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not
fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you
have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These
are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there
were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need
of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be
faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what
you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or
toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves
will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider
yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In
everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
507 I desire, O my Jesus, to
suffer and burn with the flame of Your love in all the circumstances of my
life. I am Yours, completely Yours, and I wish to disappear in You, O Jesus,
I wish to be lost in Your divine beauty. You pursue me with Your love, O
Lord; You penetrate my soul like a ray of the sun and change its darkness
into Your light. I feel very vividly that I am living in You as one small
spark swallowed up by the incomprehensible fire with which You burn, O
inconceivable Trinity! No greater joy is to be found than that of loving God.
Already here on earth we can taste the happiness of those in heaven by an
intimate union with God, a union that is extraordinary and often quite
incomprehensible to us. One can attain this very grace through simple
faithfulness of soul.
544 The novitiate [109]
is to last one year, without any interruption. At this time the novice should
be taught about the virtues relating to the vows and about the importance of
the vows. The directress should do her utmost to provide a solid formation.
Let her train the novices in the practice of humility, because only a humble
heart keeps the vows easily and experiences the great joys that God pours out
upon the faithful soul. The novices should not be burdened with duties that
entail responsibilities, so that they may be free to devote themselves to
their own perfection. They are obliged to observe the rules and statutes
strictly, as are the postulants.
545 After a year of novitiate, if the novice proves faithful, she may be
admitted to make her profession for one year. This is to be repeated for
three years. She may then be given duties of responsibility. However, she
will still belong to the novitiate, and once a week she must attend
conferences together with the novices, and she will spend the last six months
entirely in the novitiate in order to prepare well for her solemn profession.
[110]
Relationship of Sisters with the
Superior.
567 All the sisters should respect the superior as the Lord Jesus himself, as
I mentioned when speaking about the vow of obedience. They should behave
toward her with childlike trust, and should never murmur or find fault with
her commands, as this is very displeasing to God. Let each be guided by a
spirit of faith in her relationship to superiors; let her ask with simplicity
for all that she needs. God forbid that it ever happen or be repeated that
any of the sisters would be a cause of sorrow or tears to the superior. Let
each one know that as the fourth commandment obliges a child to honor its
parents, in like manner is the religious bound to respect her superior. Only
a bad religious would take the liberty of judging her superior. Let the
sisters be sincere with the superior, telling her about everything and about
their needs with childlike simplicity.
The sisters will address the superior thus: "With your leave, Sister
Superior." They shall never kiss her hand, but whenever they meet her in
the corridor or enter her cell, they should say, "Praised be Jesus
Christ," bowing their heads slightly.
They shall address each other as "Sister," adding the proper name.
Their relationship toward the superior should be marked by a spirit of faith
and not by sentimentality or flattery, as these are unworthy of a religious
and would degrade her very much. A religious should be as free as a queen,
and will be such only when she lives in the spirit of faith. We should obey
and respect the superior, not because she is good, holy or prudent, but
solely because she represents God, and by obeying her we are obeying God
himself.
635 March 25. In the morning,
during meditation, God's presence enveloped me in a special way, as I saw the
immeasurable greatness of God and, at the same time, His condescension to His
creatures. Then I saw the Mother of God, who said to me, Oh, how pleasing
to God is the soul that follows faithfully the inspirations of His grace! I
gave the Savior to the world; as for you, you have to speak to the world
about His great mercy and prepare the world for the Second Coming of Him who
will come, not as a merciful Savior, but as a just Judge. Oh, how terrible is
that day! Determined is the day of justice, the day of divine wrath. The
angels tremble before it. Speak to souls about this great mercy while it is
still the time for [granting] mercy. If you keep silent now, you will be
answering for a great number of souls on that terrible day. Fear nothing. Be
faithful to the end. I sympathize with you.
637 Confession. As I was preparing
for confession, I said to Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
"Jesus, I beg You to speak to me through the mouth of this priest. And
this will be a sign to me, because he does not know at all that You want me
to establish that Congregation of Mercy. Let him say something to me about
this mercy."
When I approached the confessional and started my confession, the priest
interrupted me and started telling me about the great mercy of God, and he
spoke more forcefully about it than I had ever heard anyone speak before. And
he asked me, "Do you know that the mercy of the Lord is greater than all
His works, that it is the crown of His works?" And I listened
attentively to these words which the Lord was speaking through the mouth of
the priest. Although I believe that it is always God who speaks through the
lips of the priest in the confessional, I experienced it in a special way on
that occasion.
Although I did not reveal anything of the divine life which is in my soul and
only accused myself of my offenses, the priest himself told me very much of
what was in my soul and put me under obligation to be faithful to the
inspirations of God. He said to me, "You are going through life with the
Mother of God, who faithfully responded to every divine inspiration." O
my Jesus, who can ever comprehend Your goodness?
650 O my Jesus, my Master and
Director, strengthen and enlighten me in these difficult moments of my life.
I expect no help from people; all my hope is in You. I feel alone in the face
of Your demands, O Lord. Despite the fears and qualms of my nature, I am
fulfilling Your holy will and desire to fulfill it as faithfully as possible
throughout my life and in my death. Jesus, with You I can do all things. Do
with me as You please; only give me Your merciful Heart and that is enough
for me.
O Jesus my Lord, help me. Let what You have planned before all ages happen to
me. I am ready at each beckoning of Your holy will. Enlighten my mind that I
may know Your will. O God, You who pervade my soul, You know that I desire
nothing but Your glory.
O Divine Will, You are the delight of my heart, the food of my soul, the
light of my intellect, the omnipotent strength of my will; for when I unite
myself with Your will, O Lord, Your power works through me and takes the
place of my feeble will. Each day, I seek to carry out God's wishes.
666 I understood that all striving
for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment
of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To
receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a
great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be
completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but
did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I
reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always
faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to
put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
667 July 14. I received a letter
at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]].
O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not
say anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will
comfort me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my
nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in eternity.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to
follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
678 The essence of the virtues is
the will of God. He who does the will of God faithfully, practices all the
virtues. In all the events and circumstances of my life, I adore and bless
the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the object of my love. In the
most secret depths of my soul, I live according to His will. I act exteriorly
according to what I recognize inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are
the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all manner of adversities by
divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my own will.
683 + Once, when I was praying
fervently to the Jesuit Saints, I suddenly saw my Guardian Angel, who led me
before the throne of God. I passed through great hosts of saints, and I
recognized many of them, whom I knew from their pictures. I saw many Jesuits,
who asked me from what congregation I was. When I answered they asked,
"Who is your spiritual director?" I answered that it was Father
A.... When they wanted to say more, my Guardian Angel beckoned me to be
silent, and I came before the throne of God. I saw a great and inaccessible
light, and I saw a place destined for me, close to God. But what it was like
I do not know, because a cloud covered it. However, my Guardian Angel said to
me, "Here is your throne, for your faithfulness in fulfilling the will
of God."
724 On the eve of the retreat, I
started to pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so
that I could take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I
thought perhaps it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started
praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of
supplication and began to thank the Lord for everything He sends me,
submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of
soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always and everywhere, in all
events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to God. Such submission
to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long fasts,
mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward for
one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is
enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my
soul already enjoys, here on earth.
734 I see that Jesus himself is
acting in my soul during this retreat. And as for me, I try only to be
faithful to His grace. I have submitted my soul completely to the influence
of God. This Mighty Ruler of Heaven has taken entire possession of my soul. I
feel that I am being lifted up above earth and heaven into the inner life of
God, where I come to know the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but always
in the unity of majesty.
742 My daughter, if I demand
through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to
distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds
of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to
your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to
excuse or absolve yourself from it.
I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the
first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three
degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof
of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My
mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there
must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the
solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which
is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is
to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith
is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in
everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on
Your goodness, O God.
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-23, 36, 55, 62, 91-92, 95, 97-98)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-102, 106-107, 111, 114-115, 129, 132)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-136, 138-139, 145, 149-150, 159, 170)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-171, 189, 210, 226-227, 230, 234, 248)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-249, 257, 263-264, 272, 278, 291-292)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-294, 300-302, 328, 331, 333, 352-353)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-424, 449, 481, 497, 500)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-544-545, 567, 635, 637, 650, 666-668)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-683, 724, 734, 742)
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