The School of Prayer
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June 16, 2016. Thursday
of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time
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Father Walter Schu, LC
Matthew 6: 7-15
Jesus said to his
disciples: "In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that
they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your
Father knows what you need before you ask him. This is how you are to pray:
´Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom come, thy
will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.´ If you forgive
others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if
you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your
transgressions."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in
You. I believe that You love me, that You are close by my side, and that You
will be walking with me throughout this day. I trust in You, Lord. I trust
You more than I trust myself, because You are infinitely good and all
powerful. I love You, Jesus. I love You because You died on the cross for me,
to save me.
Petition: Lord, teach me to
pray.
1. Absolute Trust in
God’s Providence: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Christ’s
words are an inexhaustible source of consolation and hope as they encourage
us to turn constantly to our Father in prayer. “True piety is not so much a
matter of the amount of words as of the frequency and the love with which a
Christian turns toward God in all the events, great or small, of his day” (St.
Matthew, The Navarre Bible, p. 72). But if our Father already knows our
needs, why should we even present them to him in prayer? St. Augustine
assures us that while we pray, God is molding our heart and soul so that we
will be prepared to receive the good things he desires to give us in answer
to our prayers.
2. The Perfect
Prayer: St. Augustine
affirms that the Lord’s Prayer is so perfect that it sums up in a few words
everything man needs to ask God for (cf. Sermon, 56). “It is usually
seen as being made up of an invocation and seven petitions — three to do with
praise of God and four with the needs of men” (St. Matthew, The
Navarre Bible, p. 72). The first two petitions, that God’s name be sanctified
among all people, and that his Kingdom may come, should touch us in the depth
of our being. We are called to be apostles of that Kingdom, to spread love
for Christ among our fellow men. Our apostolic zeal should be enkindled each
time we pronounce those words of the Lord’s Prayer. Asking for God’s will to
be done means that we seek to conform ourselves with his will in all of our
thoughts and actions.
3. Our Spiritual and
Human Needs: “Give
us this day our daily bread.” Even though we work to earn our daily bread
with the sweat of our brow, it is still a gift from God. We ask only for what
we need each day. The Church Fathers also see in this petition a request for
the Eucharist, the Bread of Life. We strive to live so as to be worthy to
receive the Eucharist each day. Christ then instructs us that when we ask God
for forgiveness, we, too, must be willing to forgive others in the same way
we ourselves are forgiven by our Father. Do I live this teaching fully in my
life as a follower of Christ? Finally, we ask to be freed from temptation
that is beyond our strength, and to be delivered from evil — or the Evil One.
The Father is much more powerful than any temptation the devil can send
against us. With what confidence and trust does Christ ask us to conclude the
“Our Father!”
Conversation with
Christ: Thank You, Lord, for
teaching us how to pray. Thank You for the confidence and trust in Our Father
that Your words inspire. Help me, so that the words of Your own prayer may
always be on my lips and in my heart.
Resolution: I will pray the “Our
Father” as a colloquy with God at different moments during the day.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
17 At last the time
came when the door of the convent was opened for me - it was the first of
August [1925], in the evening, the vigil [of a feast] of Our Lady of the
Angels. I felt immensely happy; it seemed to em that I had stepped into the
life of Paradise. A single prayer was bursting forth from my heart, one of thanksgiving.
18 However, after three weeks I became aware that there is so very
little time here for prayer, and of many other things which spoke to my soul
in favor of entering a religious community of a stricter observance. This
thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the will of God was not in it.
Still, the thought, or rather the temptation, was growing stronger and
stronger to the point where I decided one day to announce my departure to
Mother Superior and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God arranged the
circumstances in such a way that I could not get to the Mother Superior
[Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for light in this matter. But
I received nothing in my soul except a strange unrest which I did not
understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my mind to approach Mother
Superior the next morning right afte rMass and tell her of my decision.
32 Another time I heard these words, Go to the Superior and ask
her to allow you to make a daily hour of adoration for nine days. During this
adoration try to unite yourself in prayer with My Mother. Pray with all your
heart in union with Mary, and try also during this time to make the Way of
the Cross. I received the permission, though not for a full hour, but
only for whatever time was left me after I had carried out my duties.
41 On one occasion I saw a servant of God in the immediate danger of
committing a mortal sin. I started to beg God to deign to send down upon me
all the torments of hell and all the sufferings He wished if only this priest
would be set free and snatched from the occasion of committing a sin. Jesus
heard my prayer and, that very instant, I felt a crown of thorns on my head.
The thorns penetrated my head with great force right into my brain. This
lasted for three hours; the servant of God was set free from this sin, and
his soul was strengthened by a special grace of God.
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel
Given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from these interior
inspirations, but always tell everything to your confessor. If you recognize
that these interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is to say, they
are for the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l urge you to
follow them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in consultation
with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit. Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity. Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone." Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you." Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others." On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now." Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
62 O life so dull and monotonous, how many treasures you contain!
When I look at everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and
the dullness and monotony disappear. The grace which is given me in this hour
will not be repeated in the next. It may be given me again, but it will not
be the same grace. Time goes on, never to return again. Whatever is enclosed
in it will never change; it seals with a seal for eternity.
91 O my Jesus, You alone know what persecutions I suffer, and this
only because I am being faithful to You and following Your orders. You are my
strength; sustain me that I may always carry out what You ask of me. Of
myself I can do nothing, but when You sustain me, all difficulties are
nothing for me. O my Lord, I can see very well that from the time when my
soul first received the capacity to know You, my life has been a continual
struggle which has become increasingly intense.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist. O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way You have marked out for me.
92 Humiliation is my daily food. I understand that the bride must
herself share in everything that is the groom's; and so His cloak of mockery
must cover me, too. At those times when I suffer much, I try to remain
silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at such moments, is inclined to
talk for itself, while its duty is to help me praise God for all the
blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I receive Jesus in Holy
Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue so that I would
offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to praise God without
cease. Great are the faults committed by the tongue. The soul will not attain
sanctity if it does not keep watch over its tongue.
94 O my Lord, inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may
not grow weary amidst the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how
weak I am. Love can do all.
95 +A Deeper Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him. But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul
tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan
goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are
terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware
of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows
very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to
unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the
confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak
about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems
to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not
want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a
terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The
soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to
find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can
collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All
these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which
has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not
yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which
for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future
designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this
is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the
complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
102 After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell and found
me almost dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress of Novices
who, in the name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the ground. My
strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The Directress
recognized immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about the inscrutable
mercy of God, saying, "Do not be distressed about anything, Sister. I
command this of you in virtue of obedience." Then she said to me,
"I see now, Sister, that God is calling you to a high degree of
holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close to Himself since He has
allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister,
because this is a sign that He wants you to have a high place in
heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these words. When I
went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free from
everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I perceived
the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
106 Though these are frightening things, the soul should not be too
fearful, because God will never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On
the other hand, He may never send us such sufferings, but I write this
because, if it pleases the Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings,
it should not be afraid but, insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it
should remain faithful to God. God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love
itself, and in this unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when
I was so tormented, I myself did not understand this.
107 O my God, I have come to know that I am not of this earth; You, O
Lord, have poured this profound awareness into my soul. My communion is more
with heaven than with earth, though I in no way neglect my duties.
111 When, in the midst of these interior torments, I tried to accuse
myself in confession of the smallest trifles, the priest was surprised that I
had not committed graver faults, and he said to me, "If you are as
faithful as this to God during these sufferings, this in itself is evidence
to me that God is sustaining you, Sister, with a special grace, and it is a
good thing that you do not understand this." It is a strange thing,
nevertheless, that confessors could neither understand me nor set my mind at
peace concerning these matters, until I met Father Andrasz and, later on,
Father Sopocko.
114 +Oh, how pleasing are the hymns flowing from a suffering soul!
All heaven delights in such a soul, especially when it is tested by God. It
mournfully sings out its longing for Him. Great is its beauty, because it
comes from God. The soul walks through the jungle of life, wounded by God's
love. With one foot only it touches the ground.
115 + When a soul has come out of these tribulations, it is deeply
humble. Its purity of soul is great. It knows better without need of
reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a given moment and what to
forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is very faithful to God. It
recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices in Him. It discovers God
very quickly in other souls and in its environment in general. The soul has
been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit, introduces the soul to a
life which is purely spiritual. God himself has first prepared and purified
the soul; that is, He has made it capable of close communion with himself.
The soul, in a state of loving repose, communes spiritually with the Lord. It
speaks to God without the need of expressing itself through the senses. God
fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
129 Satan always takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of
discouragement began to rise to the surface-for your faithfulness and
sincerity-this is your reward. How can one be sincere when one is so
misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer. Again I fell to the
ground under this weight, and I broke out in a sweat, and fear began to
overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a voice
within my soul, Do not fear; I am with you. And an unusual light
illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such
sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new
courage to suffer.
132 I must again mention that there are some confessors who seem to
be true spiritual fathers, but only as long as things go well. When the soul
finds itself in greater need, they become perplexed, and either cannot or
will not understand the soul. They try to get rid of the person as soon as
possible. But if the soul is humble, it will always profit in some little way
or other. God himself will sometimes cast a shaft of light into the depths of
the soul, because of its humility and faith. The confessor will sometimes say
something he had never intended to say, without even realizing it himself. Oh,
let the soul believe that such words are the words of the Lord himself!
Though indeed we ought to believe that every word spoken in the confessional
is God's, what I have referred to above is something that comes directly from
God. And the soul perceives that the priest is not master of himself, that he
is saying things that he would rather not say. This is how God rewards faith.
I have experienced this many times myself. A certain very learned and respected priest [probably Father Wilkowski, the sisters' confessor at Plock], to whom I sometimes happened to go to confession, was always severe and opposed to these matters [which I brought up to him]. But on one occasion he replied to me, "Bear in mind, Sister, that if God is asking this of you, you should not oppose Him. God sometimes wants to be praised in just this way. Be at peace; what God has started, He will finish. But I say this to you: faithfulness to God and humility. And once again: humility. Bear well in mind what I have told you today." I was delighted, and I thought that perhaps this priest had understood me. But it so turned out that I never went to confession to him again.
136 And the Lord gave me to know that the whole mystery depended on
me, on my free consent to the sacrifice given with full use of my faculties.
In this free and conscious act lies the whole power and value before His
Majesty. Even if none of these things for which I offered myself would ever
happen to me, before the Lord everything was as though it had already been
consummated.
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with me at every moment of my life."
138 A great mystery has been accomplished between God and me. Courage
and strength have remained in my soul. When the time of adoration came to an
end, I came out and calmly faced everything I had feared so much before. When
I came out into the corridor, a great suffering and humiliation, at the hands
of a certain person, was awaiting me. I accepted it with submission to a
higher will and snuggled closely to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting
Him know that I was ready for that for which I had offered myself.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed; each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage, she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who follow those inspirations faithfully.
139 Still, a soul which is faithful to God cannot confirm its own
inspirations; it must submit them to the control of a very wise and learned
priest; and until it is quite certain, it should remain distrustful. It
should not, on its own initiative alone, put its trust in these inspirations
and all other higher graces, because it can thus expose itself to great
losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
145 Oh, how wretched my soul is for having wasted so many graces! I
was running away from God, and He pursued me with his graces. I most often
experienced God's graces when I least expected them. From the moment He gave
me a spiritual director, I have been more faithful to grace. Thanks to the
director and his watchfulness over my soul, I have learned what guidance
means and how Jesus looks at it. Jesus warned me of the least fault and
stressed that He himself judges the matter that I present to my confessor;
and [He told me] that ... any transgressions against the confessor touch
Me myself.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times. +Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent. +When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins. There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated. In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
146 Prayer.-A soul arms itself by prayer for all kinds of combat. In
whatever state the soul may be, it ought to pray. A soul which is pure and
beautiful must pray, or else it will lose its beauty; a soul which is
striving after this purity must pray, or else it will never attain it; a soul
which is newly converted must pray, or else it will fall again; a sinful
soul, plunged in sins, must pray so that it might rise again. There is no
soul which is not bound to pray, for every single grace comes to the soul
through prayer.
147 I recall that I have received most light during adoration which I
made lying prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament for half an hour every day
throughout Lent. During that time I came to know myself and God more
profoundly. And yet, even though I had the superiors' permission to do so, I
encountered many obstacles to praying in such a way. Let the soul be aware
that, in order to pray and persevere in prayer, one must arm oneself with
patience and cope bravely with exterior and interior difficulties. The
interior difficulties are discouragement, dryness, heaviness of spirit and
temptations. The exterior difficulties are human respect and time; one must
observe the time set apart for prayer. This has been my personal experience
because, when I did not pray at the time assigned for prayer, later on I
could not do it because of my duties; or if I did manage to do so, this was
only with great difficulty, because my thoughts kept wandering off to my
duties. I also experienced this difficulty: when a soul has prayed well and
left prayer in a state of profound interior recollection, others resist its
recollection; and so, the soul must be patient to persevere in prayer. It
often happened to me that when my soul was more deeply immersed in God, and I
had derived greater fruit from prayer, and God's presence accompanied me
during the day, and at work there was more recollection and greater precision
and effort at my duty, this was precisely when I received the most rebukes
for being negligent in my duty and indifferent to everything; because less
recollected souls want others to be like them, for they are a constant
[source of] remorse to them.
148 +A noble and delicate soul, even the most simple, but one of
delicate sensibilities, sees God in everything, finds Him everywhere, and
knows how to find Him in even the most hidden things. It finds all things
important, it highly appreciates all things, it thanks God for all things, it
draws profit for the soul from all things, and it gives all glory to God. It
places its trust in God and is not confused when the time of ordeals comes.
It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and makes little of human
opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it
rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a child to its
mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul passes on
without fear or difficulty.
149 When the Lord himself wants to be close to a soul and to lead it,
He will remove everything that is external. When I fell ill and was taken to
the infirmary, I suffered much unpleasantness because of this. There were two
of us sick in the infirmary. Sisters would come to see Sister N., but no one
came to visit me. It is true that there was only one infirmary, but each one
had her own cell. The winter nights were long, and Sister N. had the light
and the radio headphones, while I could not even prepare my meditation for
lack of a light.
When nearly two weeks had passed in this way, I complained to the Lord one evening that I was suffering so much and that I could not even prepare my meditation because there was no light. And the Lord said that He would come every evening and give me the points for the next day's meditation. These points always concerned His sorrowful Passion. He would say, Consider My sufferings before Pilate. And thus, point by point, I meditated upon His sorrowful Passion for one week. From that moment, a great joy entered my soul, and I no longer wanted either the visitors or the light; Jesus sufficed me for everything. The superiors were indeed very solicitous for the sick, but the Lord ordained that I should feel forsaken. This best of masters withdraws every created thing in order that He himself might act. Many a time, I have experienced such sufferings and persecutions that Mother M. [probably Mother Margaret] herself said to me, "Sister, along your path, sufferings just spring up out of the ground. I look upon you, Sister, as one crucified. But I can see that Jesus has a hand in this. Be faithful to the Lord."
150 + I want to write down a dream that I had about Saint Therese of
the Child Jesus. I was still a novice at the time and was going through some
difficulties which I did not know how to overcome. They were interior
difficulties connected with exterior ones. I made novenas to various saints,
but the situation grew more and more difficult. The sufferings it caused me
were so great that I did not know how to go on living, but suddenly the
thought occurred to me that I should pray to Saint Therese of the Child
Jesus. I started a novena to this Saint, because before entering the convent
I had had a great devotion to her. Lately I had somewhat neglected this
devotion, but in my need I began again to pray with great fervor.
On the fifth day of the novena, I dreamed of Saint Therese, but it was as if she were still living on earth. She hid from me the fact that she was a saint and began to comfort me, saying that I should not be worried about this matter, but should trust more in God. She said, "I suffered greatly, too," but I did not quite believe her and said, "It seems to me that you have not suffered at all." But Saint Therese answered me in a convincing manner that she had suffered very much indeed and said to me, "Sister, know that in three days the difficulty will come to a happy conclusion." When I was not very willing to believe her, she revealed to me that she was a saint. At that moment, a great joy filled my soul, and I said to her, "You are a saint?" "Yes," she answered, "I am a saint. Trust that this matter will be resolved in three days:" And I said, "Dear sweet Therese, tell me, shall I go to heaven?" And she answered, "Yes, you will go to heaven, Sister." "And will I be a saint?" To which she replied, "Yes, you will be a saint." "But, little Therese, shall I be a saint as you are, raised to the altar?" And she answered, "Yes, you will be a saint just as I am, but you must trust in the Lord Jesus." I then asked her if my mother and father would go to heaven, will [unfinished sentence] And she replied that they would. I further asked, "And will my brothers and sisters go to heaven?" She told me to pray hard for them, but gave me no definite answer. I understood that they were in need of much prayer. This was a dream. And as the proverb goes, dreams are phantoms; God is faith. Nevertheless, three days later the difficulty was solved very easily, just as she had said. And everything in this affair turned out exactly as she said it would. It was a dream, but it had its significance.
268 October 11, 1933.-Thursday.-I tried to make a Holy Hour, but
began it with great difficulty. A certain yearning started to tear at my
heart. My mind was dimmed so that I could not understand the simplest forms
of prayer. And so passed by an hour of prayer, or rather of struggle. I
resolved to pray for a second hour, but my inner sufferings increased-great
dryness and discouragement. I resolved to pray for a third hour. In the third
hour, which I resolved to spend kneeling without any support, my body started
to clamor for rest. But I in no way relented. I stretched out my arms and,
though I spoke no words, I persisted by sheer will. After a while, I took the
ring off my finger and asked Jesus to look at the ring, that sign of our
eternal union, and I offered Jesus the feelings I had had on the day of
perpetual vows. After a while, I feel my heart inundated with a wave of love.
A sudden recollection of spirit, the senses quiet down, and God's presence
pervades my soul. I know only this: that it is Jesus and I. I saw Him just as
He had appeared to me in that instant after my perpetual vows, when I was
likewise making a Holy Hour. Jesus was suddenly standing before me, stripped
of His clothes, His body completely covered with wounds, His eyes flooded
with tears and blood, His face disfigured and covered with spittle. The Lord
then said to me, The bride must resemble her Betrothed. I understood
these words to their very depth. There is no room for doubt here. My likeness
to Jesus must be through suffering and humility. See what love of human
souls has done to Me. My daughter, in your heart I find everything that so
great a number of souls refuses Me. Your heart is My repose. I often wait
with great graces until towards the end of prayer.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of
knowing myself. In this divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride
which takes the form of my closing up within myself and of a lack of
simplicity in my relations with Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment. The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes. Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A
hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my
soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful
moments, O my Creator, I sing You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the
abyss of my trust in You and in Your mercy!
299 When, on one occasion, my
confessor told me to ask the Lord Jesus the meaning of the two rays in the
image,[77] I answered,
"Very well, I will ask the Lord."
During prayer I heard these words within me: The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls... These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross. These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. I desire that the first Sunday after Easter be the Feast of Mercy.
300 +Ask of my faithful servant
[Father Sopocko] that, on this day, he tell the whole world of My great
mercy; that whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted
complete remission of sins and punishment.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy. +Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness. My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
301 Proclaim that mercy is the
greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy.
God and
Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus: "O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!" S. M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March 29, 1934.
314 +When I went to the garden one
afternoon, my Guardian Angel said to me, "Pray for the dying." And
so I began at once to pray the rosary with the gardeners for the dying. After
the rosary, we said various prayers for the dying. After the prayers, the
wards began to chat gaily among themselves. In spite of the noise they were
making, I heard these words in my soul: "Pray for me!" But as I
could not understand these words very well, I moved a few steps away from the
wards, trying to think who it could be who was asking me to pray. Then I
heard the words: "I am Sister ...."[78] This sister was in Warsaw while I was, at
the time, in Vilnius. "Pray for me until I tell you to stop. I am
dying." Immediately, I began to pray fervently for her, [addressing
myself] to the expiring Heart of Jesus. She gave me no respite, and I kept
praying from three [o'clock] until five. At five, I heard the words:
"Thank you!" and I understood that she had died. But during Holy
Mass on the following day, I continued to pray fervently for her soul. In the
afternoon, a postcard came saying that Sister ... had died at such and such a
time. I understood that it was at the same hour when she had said to me,
"Pray for me."
320 Jesus made known to me how
very pleasing to Him were prayers of atonement. He said to me, The prayer
of a humble and loving soul disarms the anger of My Father and draws down an
ocean of blessings. After the adoration, half way to my cell, I was
surrounded by a , pack of huge black dogs who were jumping and howling and
trying to tear me to pieces. I realized that they were not dogs, but demons.
One of them spoke up in a rage, "Because you have snatched so many souls
away from us this night, we will tear you to pieces." I answered,
"If that is the will of the most merciful God, tear me to pieces, for I
have justly deserved it, because I am the most miserable of all sinners, and
God is ever holy, just, and infinitely merciful." To these words all the
demons answered as one, "Let us flee, for she is not alone; the Almighty
is with her!" And they vanished like dust, like the noise of the road,
while I continued on my way to my cell undisturbed, finishing my Te Deum and
pondering the infinite and unfathomable mercy of God.
325 1934. On the day of the
Assumption of the Mother of God, I did not assist at Holy Mass. The woman
doctor[80] did not allow me;
but I prayed fervently in my cell. After a short time, I saw the Mother of
God, unspeakably beautiful. She said to me, My daughter, what I demand
from you is prayer, prayer, and once again prayer, for the world and
especially for your country. For nine days receive Holy Communion in
atonement and unite yourself closely to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
During these nine days you will stand before God as an offering; always and
everywhere, at all times and places, day or night, whenever you wake up, pray
in the spirit. In spirit, one can always remain in prayer.
330 +Once, the confessor told me
to pray for his intention, and I began a novena to the Mother of God. This
novena consisted in the prayer, "Hail, Holy Queen," recited nine
times. Toward the end of the novena I saw the Mother of God with the Infant
Jesus in Her arms, and I also saw my confessor kneeling at Her feet and
talking with Her. I did not understand what he was saying to Her, because I
was busy talking with the Infant Jesus, who came down from His Mother's arms
and approached me. I could not stop wondering at His beauty. I heard a few of
the words that the Mother of God spoke to him [i.e., my confessor] but not
everything. The words were: I am not only the Queen of Heaven, but also
the Mother of Mercy and your Mother. And at that moment She stretched out
her right hand, in which She was clasping her mantle, and She covered the
priest with it. At that moment, the vision vanished.
341 November 5, 1934. One morning,
when it was my duty to open the gate to let out our people who deliver baked
goods, I entered the little chapel to visit Jesus for a minute and to renew
the intentions of the day. Today, Jesus, I offer You all my sufferings,
mortifications and prayers for the intentions of the Holy Father, so that he
may approve the Feast of Mercy. But, Jesus, I have one more word to say to
You: I am very surprised that You bid me to talk about this Feast of Mercy,
for they tell me that there is already such a feast[81] and so why should I talk about it? And
Jesus said to me, And who knows anything about this feast? No one! Even
those who should be proclaiming My mercy and teaching people about it often
do not know about it themselves. That is why I want the image to be solemnly
blessed on the first Sunday after Easter, and I want it to be venerated
publicly so that every soul may know about it. Make a novena for the Holy
Father's intention. It should consist of thirty-three acts; that is, repetition
that many times of the short prayer-which I have taught you-to The Divine
Mercy.
392 The Lord God grants His graces
in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace,
He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to
accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings,
but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a
giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be
exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must
live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will
be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace
operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by
the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God
loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God
has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
396 My traveling companions were
very kind; several women of the Sodality of Mary were in the same compartment
with me. I sensed that one of them was suffering greatly and fighting a
difficult battle in her soul. l began to pray in spirit for this soul. At eleven
o'clock these women went to another compartment for a chat, leaving only the
two of us behind in the carriage. I could feel that my prayer was causing
this soul's struggle to become even fiercer. I did not console her, but
prayed all the more fervently. Finally, the lady turned to me and asked if
she was obliged to fulfill a certain promise which she had made to God. At
that moment, I received inner knowledge of the promise and replied, "You
are absolutely obliged to keep it, or else you will be miserable for the rest
of your life. This thought will pursue you everywhere and give you no
peace." Surprised at my answer, she opened her soul to me.
She was a schoolteacher. When she was about to take her examinations, she had promised God that if she did well in her examinations she would devote herself to His service; that is, enter a religious congregation. She passed the examinations very well. "But," she said, "when I entered into the hustle and bustle of the world, I no longer wanted to enter a convent. However, my conscience has given me no peace, and despite amusements I am always unhappy." After a lengthy conversation, she was completely changed and told me that she would immediately take steps to enter a convent. She asked me to pray for her, and I felt that God would be generous with His grace.
429 When
I became aware of God's great plans for me, I was frightened at their
greatness and felt myself quite incapable of fulfilling them, and I began to
avoid interior conversations with Him, filling up the time with vocal prayer.
I did this out of humility, but I soon recognized it was not true humility,
but rather a great temptation from the devil. When, on one occasion, instead
of interior prayer, I took up a book of spiritual reading, I heard these words
spoken distinctly and forcefully within my soul, You will prepare the
world for My final coming. These words moved me deeply, and although I
pretended not to hear them, 1 understood them very well and had no doubt
about them. Once, being tired out from this battle of love with God, and
making constant excuses on the grounds that I was unable to carry out this
task, I wanted to leave the chapel, but some force held me back and I found
myself powerless. Then I heard these words, You intend to leave the chapel,
but you shall not get away from Me, for I am everywhere. You cannot do
anything of yourself, but with me you can do all things.
432 At that very moment, I felt
some kind of fire in my heart. I feel my senses deadening and have no idea of
what is going on around me. I feel the Lord's gaze piercing me through and
through. I am very much aware of His greatness and my misery. An
extraordinary suffering pervades my soul, together with a joy I cannot
compare to anything. I feel powerless in the embrace of God. I feel that I am
in Him and that I am dissolved in Him like a drop of water in the ocean. I
cannot express what takes place within me; after such interior prayer, I feel
strength and power to practice the most difficult virtues. I feel dislike for
all things that the world holds in esteem. With all my soul I desire silence
and solitude.
438 June 30, 1935. At the very beginning of Holy Mass on
the following day, I saw Jesus in all His unspeakable beauty. He said to me
that He desired that such a Congregation be founded as soon as
possible, and you shall live in it together with your companions. My Spirit
shall be the rule of your life. Your life is to be modeled on Mine, from the
crib to My death on the Cross. Penetrate My mysteries, and you will
know the abyss of My mercy towards creatures and My unfathomable
goodness-and this you shall make known to the world. Through your
prayers, you shall mediate between heaven and earth.
476 The next morning, when I
entered chapel, I heard these words interiorly: Every time you enter the
chapel, immediately recite the prayer which I taught you yesterday. When
I had said the prayer, in my soul I heard these words: This prayer will
serve to appease My wrath. You will recite it for nine days, on the beads of
the rosary, in the following manner: First of all, you will say one OUR
FATHER and HAIL MARY and the I BELIEVE IN GOD. Then on the OUR FATHER beads
you will say the following words: "Eternal Father, I offer You the Body
and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus
Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world." On the
HAIL MARY beads you will say the following words: "For the sake of His
sorrowful Passion have mercy on us and on the whole world." In conclusion,
three times you will recite these words: "Holy God, Holy Mighty One,
Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world." [100]
478 O my Jesus, You know, You
alone know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my virginal
love is drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your divine
Blood is circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your most
pure love has entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I am aware did You
are dwelling in me, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, or
ratherIam aware that it is I who it living in You, O incomprehensible God! I
am aware that I am dissolving in You like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that
You are within me and all about me, that You are in all things that surround
me, in all that happens to me. O my God, I have come to know You within my
heart, and I have loved You above all things that exist on earth or in
heaven. Our hearts have a mutual understanding, and no one of humankind will
comprehend this.
486 Jesus, when You come to me in
Holy Communion, You who together with the Father and the Holy Spirit have
deigned to dwell in the little heaven of my heart, I try to keep You company
throughout the day, I do not leave You alone for even a moment. Although I am
in the company of other people or with our wards, my heart is always united
to Him. When I am asleep I offer Him every beat of my heart; when I awaken I
immerse myself in Him without saying a word. When I awaken I adore the Holy
Trinity for a short while and thank God for having deigned to give me yet
another day, that the mystery of the incarnation of His Son may once more be
repeated in me, and that once again His sorrowful Passion may unfold before
my eyes. I then try to make it easier for Jesus to pass through me to other
souls. I go everywhere with Jesus; His presence accompanies me everywhere.
526 +
The 14th. This Thursday, when we were having nocturnal adoration, at first I
could not pray; a sort of dryness engulfed me. I could not meditate on Jesus'
sorrowful Passion. So I lay prostrate and offered the most sorrowful Passion
of the Lord Jesus to the heavenly Father in reparation for the sins of all
the world. When I got to my feet after this prayer and walked to my kneeler,
I suddenly saw Jesus next to it. The Lord Jesus appeared as He was during the
scourging. In His hands He was holding a white garment with which He clothed
me and a cord with which He girded me, and He covered me with a red cloak
like the one He was clothed with during His Passion and a veil of the same
color, and He said to me, This is how you and your companions are going to
be clothed. My life from birth to death on the Cross will be the rule for
you. Fix your eyes upon Me and live according to what you see. I desire that
you penetrate into My spirit more deeply and understand that I am meek and
humble of heart.
531 November 24, 1935. Sunday,
first day. I went at once before the Blessed Sacrament and offered myself
with Jesus, present in the Most Holy Sacrament, to the Everlasting Father.
Then I heard these words in my soul: Your purpose and that of your
companions is to unite yourselves with Me as closely as possible; through
love You will reconcile earth with heaven, you will soften the just anger of
God, and you will plead for mercy for the world. I place in your care two
pearls very precious to My Heart: these are the souls of priests and
religious. You will pray particularly for them; their power will come from
your diminishment. You will join prayers, fasts, mortifications, labors and
all sufferings to My prayer, fasting, mortification, labors and sufferings
and then they will have power before My Father.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-17-18, 32, 41, 55, 62, 91-92, 94-95)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-97-98, 102, 106-107, 111, 114-115)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-129, 132, 136, 139, 145-150, 268)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-274-275, 299-301, 309, 314, 320, 325)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-330, 341, 392, 429, 432, 438, 476,
478)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-486)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-526, 531)
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