“They Love Me… They Love Me Not…”
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July 18, 2016.
Monday of the Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time
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Matthew 12:38-42
Some
of the scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus, "Teacher, we wish to see a
sign from you." He said to them in reply, "An evil and unfaithful
generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it except the sign of
Jonah the prophet. Just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale three days and
three nights, so will the Son of Man be in the heart of the earth three days
and three nights. At the judgment, the men of Nineveh will arise with this
generation and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah;
and there is something greater than Jonah here. At the judgment the queen of
the south will arise with this generation and condemn it, because she came
from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and there is
something greater than Solomon here."
Introductory
Prayer: Lord, my prayer will
“work” only if I have humility in Your presence. So I am approaching You with
meekness and humility of heart. I have an infinite need for You and Your
grace. Thinking about this helps me grow in humility. I trust in You and Your
grace. Thank You for the unfathomable gift of Your love.
Petition:
Lord, let me love
the way You love – with self-giving generosity.
The
Hurdle of Pride: “Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.” The relationship of
the scribes and Pharisees with Jesus is uni-directional. They demand that he
perform a sign if he wishes to be found worthy of their esteem, but they have
closed their hearts to any possible openness toward him in advance. Pride
makes impossible demands on others and will not be satisfied until these
impossible demands are met! Thus pride is never satisfied. It is the cause of
division, resentment and bitterness in relationships. Rather than make
demands on Christ, we need to make demands on ourselves. We need to make
demands that we grow in humility, selflessness and authentic love in
imitation of the Lord.
To
Love or Not to Love: Pope-Emeritus Benedict XVI teaches us about self-giving love
in his encyclical letter, Deus Caritas Est. Commenting on the Song of Songs,
he writes: “The poems contained in this book were originally love-songs,
perhaps intended for a Jewish wedding feast and meant to exalt conjugal love.
In this context it is highly instructive to note that in the course of the
book two different Hebrew words are used to indicate ‘love.’ First there is
the word dodim, a plural form suggesting a love that is still
insecure, indeterminate and searching. This comes to be replaced by the word ahabà.
By contrast with an indeterminate, ‘searching’ love, this word expresses
the experience of a love which involves a real discovery of the other, moving
beyond the selfish character that prevailed earlier. Love now becomes concern
and care for the other. No longer is it self-seeking, a sinking in the
intoxication of happiness; instead it seeks the good of the beloved, it
becomes renunciation and it is ready, and even willing, for sacrifice” (no.
6).
Nineveh
and Love: Jesus
tells us that at the Judgment, the men of Nineveh will arise with the
generation of people surrounding him and condemn it. The reason is that the
contemporaries of Jonah repented at his preaching. True self-giving love
begins with repentance. When I repent I acknowledge the person of God who is
worthy of all my love. I feel remorse for having loved him so little or for
having offended him who is all love. Love-filled remorse implies a bending of
my will affectionately toward the other. This is a form a self-giving love
that we can all achieve at any moment of our lives.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, I love You. I want to strengthen the habit of self-giving love within me. Presently my love is weak and short-lived. I can always practice loving sorrow for having offended You. Lord, grant me the grace of practicing contrition of heart throughout the day.
Resolution:
Today I will
practice contrition in order to grow in effective love.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read. The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all. One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
93 The Virtue of
Poverty
This is an
evangelical virtue which impels the heart to detach itself from temporal
things; the religious, in virtue of his profession, is strictly obliged to
it.
96 +Trials sent by God to a soul
which is particularly loved by Him.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul
tries hard to cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan
goes even further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are
terrible. God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware
of this, but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows
very well how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to
unbelief in respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the
confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak
about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems
to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not
want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a
terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The
soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to
find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can
collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All
these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which
has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not
yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which
for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future
designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this
is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the
complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
101
Jesus, You alone know how the soul, engulfed in darkness, moans in the midst
of these torments and, despite all this, thirsts for God as burning lips
thirst for water. It dies and withers; it dies a death without death; that is
to say, it cannot die. All its efforts come to nothing; it is under a
powerful hand. Now the soul comes under the power of the Just One. All
exterior temptations cease; all that surrounds it becomes silent, like a
dying person who loses contact with everything around it: the person's entire
soul is in the hand of the Just God, the Thrice-Holy God,-rejected for all
eternity! This is the culminating moment, and God alone can test a soul in
this way, because He alone knows what the soul can endure.
When the soul has been saturated through and through by this infernal fire, it is, as it were, cast headlong into great despair. My soul experienced this moment when I was all alone in my cell. When my soul began to sink into this despair, I felt that the end was near. But I seized my little crucifix and clutched it tightly in my hand. And now I felt my body separate itself from my soul; and though I wanted to go to my Superiors, I no longer had the physical strength. I uttered my last words: "I trust in Your Mercy!"-and it seemed to me that I provoked God to an even greater anger. And now I was drowned in despair, and all that was left me was a moan of unadulterated pain which, from time to time, tore itself from my soul. The soul is in agony-and it seemed to me that I would remain in this state, because by my own strength I could not emerge from it. Every recollection of God opened up an unspeakable ocean of suffering, and yet despite this there is something within the soul which is drawn to Him, though it seems to her for this only-that she suffer more. The memory of the love with which God formerly surrounded it is still another kind of suffering. His gaze pierces it, and everything within the soul is burned by this gaze.
116 My Jesus, You
know what my soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I
have often marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight
of a soul suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such
moments. My soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries
as loudly as he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her.
O my Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and
incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is
steeped in Your mercy.
118 The tongue is a
small member, but it does big things. A religious who does not keep silence
will never attain holiness; that is, she will never become a saint. Let her
not delude herself-unless it is the Spirit of God who is speaking through
her, for then she must not keep silent. But, in order to hear the voice of
God, one has to have silence in one's soul and to keep silence; not a gloomy
silence, but an interior silence; that is to say, recollection in God. One
can speak a great deal without breaking silence and, on the contrary, one can
speak little and be constantly breaking silence. Oh, what irreparable damage
is done by the breach of silence! We cause a lot of harm to our neighbor, but
even more to our own selves.
In my opinion, and
according to my experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the
very first place. God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like
a drone in a beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is
empty inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A
deeper interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord
dwells, is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the
sweetness of inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of
others. I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their
silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of
their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to
think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have
become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
147 I recall that I have received most light during adoration which I
made lying prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament for half an hour every day
throughout Lent. During that time I came to know myself and God more
profoundly. And yet, even though I had the superiors' permission to do so, I
encountered many obstacles to praying in such a way. Let the soul be aware
that, in order to pray and persevere in prayer, one must arm oneself with
patience and cope bravely with exterior and interior difficulties. The
interior difficulties are discouragement, dryness, heaviness of spirit and
temptations. The exterior difficulties are human respect and time; one must
observe the time set apart for prayer. This has been my personal experience
because, when I did not pray at the time assigned for prayer, later on I
could not do it because of my duties; or if I did manage to do so, this was
only with great difficulty, because my thoughts kept wandering off to my
duties. I also experienced this difficulty: when a soul has prayed well and
left prayer in a state of profound interior recollection, others resist its
recollection; and so, the soul must be patient to persevere in prayer. It
often happened to me that when my soul was more deeply immersed in God, and I
had derived greater fruit from prayer, and God's presence accompanied me
during the day, and at work there was more recollection and greater precision
and effort at my duty, this was precisely when I received the most rebukes
for being negligent in my duty and indifferent to everything; because less
recollected souls want others to be like them, for they are a constant
[source of] remorse to them.
163 JMJ The Year
1937
General Exercises
+O Most Holy
Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many
times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want
to glorify Your mercy.
+I want to be
completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, O
Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable
mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord,
that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from
appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to
their rescue.
Help me, that my
ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not
be indifferent to their pains and moaning. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue
may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but
have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord,
that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do
only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and
toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my
feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming
my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord,
that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of
my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with
those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the
most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May
Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.
+You yourself
command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of
mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out
a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot
show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches
out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus,
transform me into Yourself, for you can do all things.
173 Satan's
temptations during meditation. I felt a strange fear that the priest would
not
understand me, or
that he would have no time to hear everything I would have to say. How am I
going to tell him all this? If it were Father Bukowski I could do it more
easily, but this Jesuit whom I am seeing for the first time... Then I
remembered Father Bukowski's advice that I should at least take brief notes
of the lights sent to me by God during the retreats and give him at least a
brief report on them. My God, for a day and a half all has gone well, and now
a life and death struggle is beginning. The conference is to start in a half
hour, and then I am to go to confession. Satan tried to persuade me into
believing that if my superiors have told me that my inner life is an
illusion, why should I ask again and trouble the confessor? Didn't MX [probably
Mother Jane] tell you that the Lord Jesus does not commune with souls as
miserable as yours? This confessor is going to tell you the same thing. Why
speak to him about all this? These are not sins, and Mother X, told you that
all this communing with the Lord Jesus was daydreaming and pure hysteria. So
why tell it to this confessor? You would do
216 We have come to
Cracow today [April 18, 1933]. What a joy it is to find myself again where I
took my first steps in the spiritual life! Dear Mother Directress [Mary
Joseph] is ever the same, cheerful and full of love of neighbor. I entered
the chapel for a moment and joy filled my soul. In a flash I recalled the
whole ocean of graces that had been given me as a novice here.
241 Love of
neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about
those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice
in the success of others.
279 God made known
to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice,
to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's
will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least,
must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you
please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental
sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the
fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter,
I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
294 +Once the Lord
said to me, Act like a beggar who does
not back away when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks
the more fervently. You too should not back away and say that you are not
worthy of receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are
unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as many treasures from My Heart
as you can carry, for then you will please Me more. And I will tell you one
more thing: Take these graces not only for yourself, but also for others;
that is, encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My
infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete confidence in
Me. I will do everything for them.
296 +O Supreme
Good, I want to love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want
to adore You with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your
holy will. My life is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden
of fragrant flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the
lily of suffering or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility.
I will not enumerate these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a
great thing to know how to make use of the present moment.
343 True love is
measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little
daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal
life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the
hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false
suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying
to myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my
plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
375 Particular
interior practice; that is, the examination of conscience. Self-denial,
denial of my own will.
I. The denial of my
reason. Subjecting it to the reason of those who represent God to me here on
earth.
II. The denial of
my will. Doing the will of God, which is revealed in the will of those who
represent God to me and which is contained in the rule of our order.
III. The denial of
my judgment. Accepting immediately and without reflection, analysis or reasoning
all orders given by those who represent God to me.
IV. The denial of
my tongue. I will not give it the least bit of freedom; but in one case only
I will give it complete freedom; that is, in proclaiming the glory of God.
Whenever I receive Holy Communion, I will ask Jesus to fortify and cleanse my
tongue that I may not injure my neighbor with it. That is why I have the
greatest respect for the rule which speaks about silence.
383 At the
beginning of the retreat, I saw, on the ceiling of the chapel, Jesus nailed
to the Cross. He was looking at the sisters with great love, but not at all
of them. There were three sisters at whom Jesus looked severely, for what
reasons I do not know. I only know what a terrible thing it is to meet with
such a look, which is the look of a severe Judge. That look was not directed
at me, and yet I was paralyzed with terror. I still tremble as I write these
words. I did not dare to say so much as a single word to Jesus. My physical
strength failed me, and I thought I would not live to the end of the
conference. The next day, I saw the same thing again, just as I had seen it
the first time, and this time I dared to speak these words: "Jesus, how
great is Your mercy!"
On the third day,
that gaze of great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again
repeated. I gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of
neighbor, and I said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You
yourself told me, I beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with
kindness at these three sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with
Your wisdom, I ask You for an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for
my soul, and let Your severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus
then said to me these words: My daughter, for the sake of your sincere and
generous love, I grant them many graces although they are not asking Me for
them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made to you. And at
that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three sisters as well.
My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
549 Work. As poor
persons, the nuns themselves will do all the work in the convent. Each one
should be glad when she is given some work which is humbling or which goes
against her nature, as that will greatly help her interior formation. The
superior will often change the sisters' duties, and in this way help them to
detach themselves completely from the little details to which women have a
great attachment. Truly, I often find it amusing to see with my own eyes
souls who have forsaken really great things only to attach themselves to
fiddle faddle; that is, trifles. Each sister, including even the superior,
shall work in the kitchen for a month. Every one should take a turn at every
chore which is to be done in the convent.
571 O my Jesus, Eternal Truth, I fear nothing,
neither hardships nor sufferings; I fear only one thing, and that is to
offend You. My Jesus, I would rather not exist than make You sad. Jesus, You
know that my love knows no one but You. My soul is absorbed in You.
590 When I receive
Holy Communion, I entreat and beg the Savior to heal my tongue, that I may
never fail in love of neighbor.
692 + O Jesus, I
understand that Your mercy is beyond all imagining, and therefore I ask You
to make my heart so big that there will be room in it for the needs of all
the souls living on the face of the earth. O Jesus, my love extends beyond
the world, to the souls suffering in purgatory, and I want to exercise mercy
toward them by means of indulgenced prayers. God's mercy is unfathomable and
inexhaustible, just as God himself is unfathomable. Even if I were to use the
strongest words there are to express this mercy of God, all this would be
nothing in comparison with what it is in reality. O Jesus, make my heart
sensitive to all the sufferings of my neighbor, whether of body or of soul. O
my Jesus, I know that You act toward us as we act toward our neighbor.
My Jesus, make my
heart like unto Your merciful Heart. Jesus, help me to go through life doing
good to everyone.
700 + Once, when I
was very tired and in much pain, I told Mother Superior [Irene] about it and
received the answer that I should get used to suffering. I listened to
everything that Mother told me, and then I went out. Our Mother Superior has
great love of neighbor and especially great love for the sick sisters, as
everyone knows. And yet, as regards me, it is extraordinary that the Lord
Jesus has permitted that she not understand me and that she test me much in
this respect.
704 I spend every
free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask Him about
everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength and
light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act toward my
neighbor. From the time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed myself in the
tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me into the fire
of living love on which everything converges.
742 My daughter, if
I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to
distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds
of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to
your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to
excuse or absolve yourself from it.
I am giving you
three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the
second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the
fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this
means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday
after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and
I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast
and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this
image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the
demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without
works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see
how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.
+ Particular Examen
Union with the
merciful Christ. With my heart I encompass the whole world, especially
countries which are uncivilized or where there is persecution. I am praying
for mercy upon them.
791 Hide me, Jesus,
in the depths of Your mercy, and then let my neighbor judge me as he pleases.
856 During the
morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created things.
Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all things. I
desire only God himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom beyond
description. God imparts himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it
into the infinite depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it
here on earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing
for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in
it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally
saturated with bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous
dying, painful and terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true
life and of inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because
of this, [the soul] is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
861 Particular
examen: remains the same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ
(that is; what would Christ do in such and such a case?) and, in spirit, to
embrace the whole world, especially Russia and Spain.
General
resolutions.
I. Strict
observance of silence - interior silence.
II. To see the
image of God in every sister; all love of neighbor must flow from this
motive.
III. To do the will
of God faithfully at every moment of my life and to live by this.
IV. To give a
faithful account of everything to the spiritual director and not to undertake
anything of importance without a clear understanding with him. I shall try to
clearly lay bare to him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind
that I am dealing with God himself, and that His representative is just a
human being, and so I must pray daily that he be given light.
V. During the
evening examination of conscience, I am to ask myself the question: What if
He were to call me today?
VI. Not to look for
God far away, but within my own being to abide with Him alone.
VII. In sufferings
and torments, to take refuge in the tabernacle and to be silent.
VIII. To join all
sufferings, prayers, works and mortifications to the merits of Jesus in order
to obtain mercy for the world.
IX. To use free
moments, however short, for prayers for the dying.
X. There must not
be a day in my life when I do not recommend to the Lord the works of our
Congregation. Never have regard for what others think of you [for human
respect].
XI. Have no
familiar relationships with anyone. Gentle firmness toward the girls,
boundless patience; punish them severely but with such punishments as these:
prayer and self-sacrifice. The strength that is in the emptying of myself for
their sake is for them a [source of] constant remorse and the softening of
their obdurate hearts.
XII. The presence
of God is the basis of all my thoughts, words and deeds.
XIII. To take
advantage of all spiritual help. To always put self-love in its proper place;
namely, the last. To perform my spiritual exercises as though I were doing
them for the last time in my life, and in like manner to carry out all my
duties.
871 + My Master,
cause my heart never to expect help from anyone, but I will always strive to
bring assistance, consolation and all manner of relief to others. My heart is
always open to the sufferings of others; and I will not close my heart to the
sufferings of others, even though because of this I have been scornfully
nicknamed "dump"; that is, [because] everyone dumps his pain into
my heart. [To this] I answered that everyone has a place in my heart and I,
in return, have a place in the Heart of Jesus. Taunts regarding the law of
love will not narrow my heart. My soul is always sensitive on this point, and
Jesus alone is the motive for my love of neighbor.
944 + There are
moments when I mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and wretchedness
in the most profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed that I can
endure such moments only by trusting in the infinite mercy of God. Patience,
prayer and silence-these are what give strength to the soul. There are
moments when one should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to talk
with creatures; these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with oneself,
and when the soul feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul clings to
God with all its might. At such times, I live solely by faith, and when I
feel strengthened by God's grace, then I am more courageous in speaking and
communicating with my neighbors.
1039 + I suffer
great pain at the sight of the sufferings of others. All these sufferings are
reflected in my heart. I carry their torments in my heart so that it even
wears me out physically. I would like all pains to fall upon me so as to
bring relief to my neighbor.
1662 + O Christ,
suffering for You is the delight of my heart and my soul. Prolong my
sufferings to infinity, that I may give You a proof of my love. I accept
everything that Your hand will hold out to me. Your love, Jesus, is enough
for me. I will glorify You in abandonment and darkness, in agony and fear, in
pain and bitterness, in anguish of spirit and grief of heart. In all things
may You be blessed. My heart is so detached from the earth, that You Yourself
are enough for me. There is no longer any moment in my life for self concern.
1663 Holy Thursday
[April 14, 1938]. Today I felt strong enough to take part in the ceremonies
of the Church. During Holy Mass, Jesus stood before me and said, Look into My
Heart and see there the love and mercy which I have for humankind, and
especially for sinners. Look, and enter into My Passion. In an instant, I
experienced and lived through the whole Passion of Jesus in my own heart. I
was surprised that these tortures did not deprive me of my life.
1664 During
adoration, Jesus said to me, My daughter, know that your ardent love and the
compassion you have for Me were a consolation to Me in the Garden [of
Olives].
1665 During Holy
Hour in the evening, I heard the words, You see My mercy for sinners, which
at this moment is revealing itself in all its power. See how little you have
written about it; it is only a single drop. Do what is in your power, so that
sinners may come to know My goodness.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-77, 93, 96-98, 101 116, 118, 147, 173)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-163, 216, 241, 279., 294, 296, 343,
375)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-383)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-549, 571, 590, 692, 700, 704, 742)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-791, 856, 861, 871, 944)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1029, 1039)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1662-1663)
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Hulyo 18, 2016
“They Love Me… They Love Me Not”-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
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