Winning the Only Contest that Matters
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November 1, 2016. Solemnity
of All Saints
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Father James
Swanson, LC
Matthew
5:1-12a
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the
mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him. He began to
teach them, saying: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land. Blessed are they who
hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied. Blessed are
the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the clean of heart,
for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called
children of God. Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they insult you and
persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in You with a faith that never seeks to test
You. I trust in You, hoping to learn to accept and follow Your will, even
when it does not make sense to the way that I see things. I love You, and I
want to love You and those around me with a love similar to the love You have
shown to me.
Petition: Lord, help me accept sacrifices and overcome difficulties in
order to gain heaven.
1. The Beatitudes Don’t Make Sense: As we celebrate the Solemnity of All
Saints’ Day, the Church calls us to contemplate the promises Jesus makes to
all those who follow him. At first, they don’t seem very attractive. Jesus
lists a whole series of things that most people would probably avoid. They
would see them as interfering with their wants and desires, Yet, Jesus says
that we will be blessed if we have them in our lives. The word in the
original Greek is “makarios”, which means “happy”. This doesn’t make sense. I
am supposed to be happy when I am poor, mourning, meek, lacking
righteousness, merciful, clean-hearted, a peacemaker, persecuted and
insulted? That’s not what I see on TV, in the movies, on the Internet. It’s
not what many of the people I know would advise me. So what is Jesus’ big
idea telling me this? Is he out to make me miserable?
2. Sacrificing for Worldly Glory: We can see that the whole picture isn’t
gloomy. Jesus says that if we accept these difficult things, there will be
rewards. And the rewards sound pretty good. In fact, they sound great: the
Kingdom of Heaven, comfort, inheriting the land, satisfaction in seeing
righteousness done, receiving mercy, seeing God, being a child of God, a
great reward in heaven. Who wouldn’t want these things? Don’t people work a
lot harder for a lot less? Don’t athletes train for years, giving up all
kinds of pleasures, submitting themselves to intense suffering at times only
for a brief moment of glory in some competition? Don’t businessmen work long
hours, giving up pleasures and making immense sacrifices just to make a few
more dollars? Isn’t what Jesus offers us much better than any of that? Better
than a gold medal or even a million dollars?
3. But I Am Not Interested in Heavenly
Things: Anything worth
having is worth making sacrifices for, and the more it is worth, the greater
sacrifices we should be willing to make for it. Perhaps a gold medal is worth
the sacrifices the athlete makes to win it. Perhaps a million dollars are
worth the sacrifices that a businessman makes to gain them. If heaven is
really all it is supposed to be, isn’t it worth all the sacrifices Jesus
mentions here – and more? If people are willing to make such great sacrifices
to gain things they cannot keep, shouldn’t I be willing to make even greater
sacrifices to gain the eternal happiness of heaven? Of course, many people
with the talent to do great things in this world never do them because they
just aren’t that interested or motivated. Is that why I don’t do more to gain
heaven? Just not that interested? What will it take to motivate me to really
desire what Jesus offers?
Conversation with Christ: Dear Jesus, I don’t do much to make the
Beatitudes come to life in me. Help me to give heaven its full value.
Help me to desire it more each day. Help me to meditate on what heaven will
be like so I will love it more and more and be willing to do anything –
whatever it takes – to get there and help many others arrive as well.
Resolution: I will spend at least five minutes today
imagining what heaven will be like. What would I like heaven to be like?
Jesus is setting up a mansion there for me. He is going to put everything
that he can in it to please me and make me happy. Spend some time imagining
what he would put there to surprise and delight me. He will go far beyond my
wildest imaginations, but by dedicating some time to this today, I will increase
my desire for heaven and to make the sacrifices necessary to get there.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
116 My Jesus, You know what my
soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I have often
marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul
suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such moments. My
soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries as loudly as
he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her. O my
Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and
incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is
steeped in Your mercy.
118 The tongue is a small member,
but it does big things. A religious who does not keep silence will never
attain holiness; that is, she will never become a saint. Let her not delude
herself-unless it is the Spirit of God who is speaking through her, for then
she must not keep silent. But, in order to hear the voice of God, one has to
have silence in one's soul and to keep silence; not a gloomy silence, but an
interior silence; that is to say, recollection in God. One can speak a great
deal without breaking silence and, on the contrary, one can speak little and
be constantly breaking silence. Oh, what irreparable damage is done by the
breach of silence! We cause a lot of harm to our neighbor, but even more to
our own selves.
In my opinion, and according to my
experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place.
God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a
beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty
inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper
interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells,
is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of
inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I
have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence;
they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their
undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think
that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become
saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
150 + I want to write down a dream
that I had about Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I was still a novice at
the time and was going through some difficulties which I did not know how to
overcome. They were interior difficulties connected with exterior ones. I
made novenas to various saints, but the situation grew more and more
difficult. The sufferings it caused me were so great that I did not know how
to go on living, but suddenly the thought occurred to me that I should pray
to Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I started a novena to this Saint,
because before entering the convent I had had a great devotion to her. Lately
I had somewhat neglected this devotion, but in my need I began again to pray
with great fervor.
On the fifth day of the novena, I dreamed of Saint Therese, but it was as if she were still living on earth. She hid from me the fact that she was a saint and began to comfort me, saying that I should not be worried about this matter, but should trust more in God. She said, "I suffered greatly, too," but I did not quite believe her and said, "It seems to me that you have not suffered at all." But Saint Therese answered me in a convincing manner that she had suffered very much indeed and said to me, "Sister, know that in three days the difficulty will come to a happy conclusion." When I was not very willing to believe her, she revealed to me that she was a saint. At that moment, a great joy filled my soul, and I said to her, "You are a saint?" "Yes," she answered, "I am a saint. Trust that this matter will be resolved in three days:" And I said, "Dear sweet Therese, tell me, shall I go to heaven?" And she answered, "Yes, you will go to heaven, Sister." "And will I be a saint?" To which she replied, "Yes, you will be a saint." "But, little Therese, shall I be a saint as you are, raised to the altar?" And she answered, "Yes, you will be a saint just as I am, but you must trust in the Lord Jesus." I then asked her if my mother and father would go to heaven, will [unfinished sentence] And she replied that they would. I further asked, "And will my brothers and sisters go to heaven?" She told me to pray hard for them, but gave me no definite answer. I understood that they were in need of much prayer. This was a dream. And as the proverb goes, dreams are phantoms; God is faith. Nevertheless, three days later the difficulty was solved very easily, just as she had said. And everything in this affair turned out exactly as she said it would. It was a dream, but it had its significance.
161 Immaculate Virgin,
Pure crystal for my heart,
You are my strength, O sturdy anchor!
You are the weak heart's shield and protection.
Mary you are pure, of purity incomparable;
At once both Virgin and Mother,
You are beautiful as the sun, without blemish,
And your soul is beyond all comparison.
Your beauty has delighted the eye of the Thrice-Holy One.
He descended from heaven, leaving His eternal throne,
And took Body and Blood of your heart
And for nine months lay hidden in a Virgin's Heart.
O Mother, Virgin, purest of all lilies,
Your heart was Jesus' first tabernacle on earth.
Only because no humility was deeper than yours
Were you raised above the choirs
of Angels and above all Saints.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank
You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable
me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an
eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration
and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite
myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of
You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of
my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise
Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
286 +Once, after an adoration for
our country, a pain pierced my soul, and I began to pray in this way:
"Most merciful Jesus, I beseech You through the intercession of Your
Saints, and especially the intercession of Your dearest Mother who nurtured
You from childhood, bless my native land. I beg You, Jesus, look not on our
sins, but on the tears of little children, on the hunger and cold they
suffer. Jesus, for the sake of these innocent ones, grant me the grace that I
am asking of You for my country." At that moment, I saw the Lord Jesus,
His eyes filled with tears, and He said to me, You see, My daughter, what
great compassion I have for them. Know that it is they who uphold the world.
401 The days at home passed in much company, as everybody
wanted to see me and talk with me. Often I could count as many as twenty-five
people there. They listened with great interest to my accounts of the lives
of the saints. It seemed to me that our house was truly the house of God, as
each evening we talked about nothing but God. When, tired from these talks
and yearning for solitude and silence, I quietly slipped out into the garden
in the evening so I could converse with God alone, even in this I was
unsuccessful; immediately my brothers and sisters came and took me into the
house and, once again, I had to talk, with all those eyes fixed on me. But I
struck on one way of getting some respite; I asked my brothers to sing for
me, inasmuch as they had lovely voices; and besides, one played the violin
and another, the mandolin. And during this time I was able to devote myself
to interior prayer without shunning their company.
What also cost me a lot was that I had to kiss the children. The women I knew came with their children and asked me to take them in my arms, at least for a moment, and kiss them. They regarded this as a great favor, and for me it was a chance to practice virtue, since many of the children were quite dirty. But in order to overcome my feelings and show no repugnance, I would kiss such a dirty child twice. One of these friends came with a child whose eyes were diseased and filled with pus, and she said to me, "Sister, take it in your arms for a moment, please." My nature recoiled, but not paying attention to anything, I took the child and kissed it twice, right on the infection, asking God to heal it. I had many opportunities to practice virtue. I listened to people pour out their grievances, and I saw that no heart was joyful, because no heart truly loved God; and this did not surprise me at all. I was very sorry not to have seen two of my sisters. I felt interiorly that their souls were in great danger. Pain gripped my heart at the thought of them. Once, when I felt very close to God, I fervently asked the Lord to grant them grace, and the Lord answered me, I am granting them not only necessary graces, but special graces as well. I understood that the Lord would call them to a greater union with Him. I rejoice immensely that such great love reigns in our family.
448 Feast of St. Ignatius. I prayed fervently
to this Saint, reproaching him for looking on and not coming to my aid in
such important matters as doing the will of God. I said to him, "You,
our Patron, who were inflamed with the fire of love and zeal for the greater
glory of God, I humbly beg you to help me to carry out God's designs. "[97] This was during Holy Mass. Then I saw Saint Ignatius at the left
side of the altar, with a large book in his hand. And he spoke these words to
me, "My daughter, I am not indifferent to your cause. This rule can be
adapted, and it can be adapted to this Congregation." And gesturing with
his hand toward the big book, he disappeared. I rejoiced greatly at the fact of
how much the saints think of us and of how closely we are united with them.
Oh, the goodness of God! How beautiful is the spiritual world, that already
here on earth we commune with the saints! All day long, I could feel the
presence of this dear Patron Saint.
683 + Once, when I was praying fervently to the Jesuit Saints, I suddenly saw my Guardian Angel, who led me before the throne of God. I passed through great hosts of saints, and I recognized many of them, whom I knew from their pictures. I saw many Jesuits, who asked me from what congregation I was. When I answered they asked, "Who is your spiritual director?" I answered that it was Father A.... When they wanted to say more, my Guardian Angel beckoned me to be silent, and I came before the throne of God. I saw a great and inaccessible light, and I saw a place destined for me, close to God. But what it was like I do not know, because a cloud covered it. However, my Guardian Angel said to me, "Here is your throne, for your faithfulness in fulfilling the will of God."
845 Before the vigil supper, I entered the chapel for a
moment to break the wafer spiritually with those dear to my heart. I
presented them all, by name, to Jesus and begged for graces on their behalf.
But that wasn't all. I commended to the Lord all those who are being
persecuted, those who are suffering, those who do not know His Name, and
especially poor sinners. O little Jesus, I fervently ask You, enclose them
all in the ocean of Your incomprehensible mercy. O sweet little Jesus, here
is my heart; let it be a little cozy dwelling place for Yourself. O Infinite
Majesty, with what sweetness You drew close to us. Here, there is no dread of
the thunderbolts of the great Jehovah; here, there is the sweet little Jesus.
Here, no soul is afraid, although Your majesty has not lessened, but only
concealed itself. After supper, I felt very tired and was in pain. I had to
lie down. But I kept vigil with the Most Holy Mother, awaiting the arrival of
the little Child.
875 Today, I experienced a great suffering during the
visit of our sisters. I learned of something that hurt me terribly, but I
controlled myself so that the sisters didn't notice anything. For some time,
the pain was tearing my heart apart, but all that is for the sake of poor
sinners.... O Jesus, for poor sinners.... Jesus, my strength, stay close to
me, help me....
885 Jesus, give me the strength and wisdom to get through
this terrible wilderness, that my heart may bear patiently this longing for
You, O my Lord! I always remain in holy
amazement when I sense that You are approaching me, You,
the Lord of the awesome
throne; that You descend to this miserable exile and visit
this poor beggar who has nothing but misery! I do not know how to entertain
You, my Royal Prince, but You know that I love You with every beat of my
heart. I see how You lower yourself, but nevertheless Your majesty does not
diminish in my eyes. I know that You love me with the love of a bridegroom,
and that is enough for me. Although we are separated by a great chasm, for
You are the Creator and I am Your creature, nevertheless, love alone explains
our union. Without it, all is incomprehensible. Only love makes it possible
to understand these incomprehensible intimacies with which You visit me. O
Jesus, Your greatness terrifies me, and I would be in constant astonishment
and fear, if You yourself did not set me at peace. You make me capable of
communing with You before each approach.
892 Today the Lord gave me to know, in spirit, about the
Convent of Divine Mercy. I saw a great spirit in this convent, but everything
was poor and very scanty. O my Jesus, you are allowing me to live in spirit
with these souls, but perhaps I shall never set foot there; but may Your Name
be blessed, and whatever You have intended, may it be done.
908 + O Jesus, how sorry I feel for poor sinners. Jesus,
grant them contrition and repentance. Remember Your own sorrowful Passion. I
know Your infinite mercy and cannot bear it that a soul that has cost You so
much should perish. Jesus, give me the souls of sinners; let Your mercy rest
upon them. Take everything away from me, but give me souls. I want to become
a sacrificial host for sinners. Let the shell of my body conceal my offering,
for Your Most Sacred Heart is also hidden in a Host, and certainly You are a
living sacrifice.
Transform me into Yourself, O Jesus, that I may be a
living sacrifice and pleasing to You. I desire to atone at each moment for
poor sinners. The sacrifice of my spirit is hidden under the veil of the
body; the human eye does not perceive it, and for that reason it is pure and
pleasing to You. O my Creator and Father of great mercy, I trust in You, for
You are Goodness Itself. Souls, do not be afraid of God, but trust in Him,
for He is good, and His mercy is everlasting.
912 Then I heard the following words spoken thus: I
want you to be My spouse. Fear pierced my soul, but I calmly continued to
reflect on what sort of an espousal this could be. However, each time fear
would invade my soul, a power from on high would give it peace. After all, I
have taken perpetual vows, and I have taken them of my own completely free
will. And so I continued to reflect on what this could mean. I sensed, and
came to realize, that this was some special kind of grace. Whenever I think
about it, I feel faint for God, but in this swooning, my mind is clear and
penetrated with light. When I am united to Him, I faint from an abundance of
happiness, but my mind is bright and clear and free from all shadows. You a
base Your majesty to dwell with a poor creature. Thank you, O Lord, for this
great grace that makes it possible for me to commune with You. Jesus, Your
Name is my delight, I have a presentiment of my Beloved from afar, and my
languishing soul rests in His embrace; I don't know how to live without Him.
I would rather be with Him in afflictions and suffering than without Him in
the greatest heavenly delights.
920 +There is a woman here [165] who was once one of our students. Naturally, she puts my
patience to the test. She comes to see me several times a day. After each of
these visits I am tired out, but I see that the Lord Jesus has sent that soul
to me. Let everything glorify You, O Lord. Patience gives glory to God. O how
poor the souls are!
927 On these two days, I received Holy Communion as an act
of reparation, and I said to the Lord, "Jesus, I offer everything today
for sinners. Let the blows of Your justice fall on me, and the sea of Your
mercy engulf the poor sinners." And the Lord heard my prayer: many souls
returned to the Lord, but I was in agony under the yoke of God's justice. I
felt I was the object of the anger of the Most High God. By evening my
sufferings had reached such a stage of interior desolation that moans welled
up involuntarily from my breast. I locked the door of my room and began an
adoration; that is to say, a Holy Hour. Interior desolation and an experience
of God's justice-that was my prayer; and the moans and pain that welled up
from my soul took the place of a sweet conversation with the Lord.
929 When I had rested near His sweetest Heart, I told Him,
"Jesus, I have so much to tell You." And the Lord said to me with
great love, Speak, My daughter. And I started to enumerate the pains
of my heart; that is, how greatly concerned I am for all mankind, that
"they all do not know You, and those who do know You do not love You as
You deserve to be loved. I also see how terribly sinners offend You; and then
again, I see how severely the faithful, especially Your servants, are
oppressed and persecuted. And then, too, I see many souls rushing headlong
into the terrible abyss of hell. You see, Jesus, this is the pain that gnaws
at my heart and bones. And, although You show me special love and inundate my
heart with streams of Your joys, nevertheless, this does not appease the
sufferings I have just mentioned, but rather they penetrate my poor heart all
the more acutely. Oh, how ardently I desire that all mankind turn with trust
to Your mercy. Then, seeing the glory of Your name, my heart will be
comforted."
Jesus listened to these outpourings of my heart with
gravity and interest, as if He had known nothing about them, and this seemed
to make it easier for me to talk. And the Lord said to me, My daughter,
those words of your heart are pleasing to Me, and by saying the chaplet
you are bringing humankind closer to Me. After these words, I found
myself alone, but the presence of God is always in my soul.
934 Small practices for Lent. Although I wish and desire
to do so, I cannot practice big
mortifications as before, because I am under the strict
surveillance of the doctor. But I can practice little things: first-sleep
without a pillow; keep myself a little hungry; every day, with my arms
outstretched, say the chaplet which the Lord taught me; occasionally, with
arms outstretched, for an indefinite period of time pray informally.
Intention: to beg divine mercy for poor sinners, and for priests, the power
to bring sinful hearts to repentance.
936 + A certain person in our ward was beginning to die.
Amidst terrible tortures, she was dying for three days, sometimes regaining
consciousness. Everyone in the ward was praying for her. I longed to go to
her, but Mother Superior had forbidden me to go to visit the dying, so I
prayed for that poor soul in my room. But when I heard that she was still in
agony, and there was no saying how long it was going to take, I suddenly felt
inspired in my soul and said to the Lord, "Jesus, if all I do is
pleasing to You, I ask You, as evidence, to let that soul stop suffering and
pass on immediately to her happy eternity." A few minutes later I
learned that the person had passed away so peacefully and quickly that they
did not even have time to light the candle.
953 + February 15, 1937. Today my suffering increased
somewhat: I not only feel greater pain all through my lungs, but also some
strange pains in my intestines. I am suffering as much as my weak nature can
bear, all for immortal souls, to plead the mercy of God for poor sinners and
to beg for strength for priests. Oh, how much reverence I have for priests;
and I am asking Jesus, the High Priest, to grant them many graces.
1156 The second is prayer joined to the act of mercy. In
particular, they will defend the souls of children against the spirit of
evil. Prayer and merciful deeds are all that will be required of these souls,
and even the poorest persons can be admitted to their number. And in this
egoistic world they will try to rouse up love, the mercy of Jesus.
1158 A member of this group ought to perform at least one
act of mercy a day; at least one, but there can be many more, for such deeds
can easily be carried out by anyone, even the very poorest. For there are
three ways of performing an act of mercy: the merciful word, by forgiving and
by comforting; secondly, if you can offer no word, then pray-that too is
mercy; and thirdly, deeds of mercy. And when the Last Day comes, we shall be
judged from this, and on this basis we shall receive the eternal verdict.
1167 Satan has admitted to me that I am the object of his
hatred. He said that "a thousand souls do me less harm than you do when
you speak of the great mercy of the Almighty One. The greatest sinners regain
confidence and return to God, and I lose everything. But what is more, you
persecute me personally with that unfathomable mercy of the Almighty
One." I took note of the great hatred Satan has for the Mercy of God. He
does not want to acknowledge that God is good.
1274 I experience great torments of soul when I see God
offended. Today I recognized that mortal sins were being committed not far from
our door. It was evening. I prayed earnestly in the chapel, and then I went
to scourge myself. When I knelt down to pray, however, the Lord allowed me to
experience how a soul rejected by God suffers. It seems to me that my heart
was torn to pieces, and at the same time I understood how much such a soul
wounds the most merciful Heart of Jesus. The poor creature does not want to
accept God's mercy. The more God has pursued a soul with His mercy, the more
just will He be towards it.
1282 + When the same poor people come to the gate a second
time, I treat them with greater gentleness, and I do not let them see that I
know they have been here before; [I do this] in order not to embarrass them.
And then they speak to me freely about their troubles and
needs.
Although Sister N. tells me that is not the way to deal
with beggars, and slams the door in their faces, when she is not there, I
treat them as my Master would. Sometimes more is given when giving nothing,
than when giving much in a rude manner.
1309 When I make the Way of the Cross, I am deeply moved
at the twelfth station. Here I reflect on the omnipotence of God's mercy
which passed through the Heart of Jesus. In this open wound of the Heart of
Jesus I enclose all poor humans... and those individuals whom I love, as
often as I make the Way of the Cross. From that Fount of Mercy issued the two
rays; that is, the Blood and the Water. With the immensity of their grace
they flood the whole world....
1312 + Jesus came to the main entrance today, under the
guise of a poor young man. This young man, emaciated, barefoot and
bareheaded, and with his clothes in tatters, was frozen because the day was
cold and rainy. He asked for something hot to eat. So I went to the kitchen,
but found nothing there for the poor. But, after searching around for some
time, I succeeded in finding some soup, which I reheated and into which I
crumbled some bread, and I gave it to the poor young man, who ate it. As I
was taking the bowl from him, he gave me to know that He was the Lord of
heaven and earth. When I saw Him as He was, He vanished from my sight. When I
went back in and reflected on what had happened at the gate, I heard these
words in my soul: My daughter, the blessings of the poor who bless
Me as they leave this gate have reached My ears. And your compassion, within
the bounds of obedience, has pleased Me, and this is why I came down from My
throne-to taste the fruits of your mercy.
1313 O my Jesus, now everything is clear to me, and I
understand all that has just happened. I somehow felt and asked myself what
sort of a poor man is this who radiates such modesty. From that moment on,
there was stirred up in my heart an even purer love toward the poor and the
needy. Oh, how happy I am that my superiors have given me such a task! I
understand that mercy is manifold; one can do good always and everywhere and
at all times. An ardent love of God sees all around itself constant
opportunities to share itself through deed, word and prayer. Now I understand
the words which You spoke to me, O Lord, some time ago.
1487 Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and
that you do not have even the strength to coverse with me. So I will speak to
you. Even though your sufferings were very great, do not lose heart or give
in to despondency. But tell Me, my child, who has dared to wound your heart?
Tell me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the
wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a
source of your sanctification.
Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and
have lasted so long that I become discouraged.
Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your
boundless trust in Me; I know
you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in
detail about everything
that weighs so heavily upon your heart.
Soul: There are so many different things that I do not
know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.
Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell
Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?
Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I
cannot fulfill my duties. I am as
useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify
myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. Furthermore, nobody believes
I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often
humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?
Jesus: True, My child, all that is painful. But there
is no way to heaven except the
way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that
it is the shortest and
surest way.
Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to
holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.
Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the
world hates you. First it
persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are
following in My footsteps
faithfully.
Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my
superiors nor my confessor
understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind.
How can I advance? All this
discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.
Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a
good deal. I realize how painful
it is not to be understood, and especially by those whom
one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it to know that I
understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you
have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one
will understand a soul entirely-that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I
have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul,
so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is
obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light
who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness
than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and
enlightening a soul in this way. Know, too, that the darkness about which you
complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in
mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My
special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am
intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.
Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am
ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to
count in times of greatest need?
Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on
people. Entrust yourself
completely to My will saying, "Not as I want, but
according to Your will, O God, let
it be done unto me." These words, spoken from the
depths of one's heart, can
raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In
such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven
with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which
you bear sufferings comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain
of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.
Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with
us in this exile as the God of mercy and blessing us with the radiance of
Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I
have come to understand how much You love me.
|
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-116, 118, 150, 161, 220, 286, 401, 448)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-683, 845, 875, 885, 892, 908, 912,
920)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-927, 929, 934, 936, 953)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1153, 1158, 1167, 1274, 1282, 1309)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1312, 1313
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-V-1487)
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