The Transforming Power
of the Cross
February 17, 2017. Friday of the Sixth
Week in Ordinary Time
Mark 8: 34-9: 1
He called the crowd
with his disciples, and said to them, "Whoever wishes to come after me
must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. And he said to them,
"Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death
until they see that the kingdom of God has come with power."
Introductory Prayer: O Lord, this day You wish to take away
from me any false ideas about what it means to be Your friend. I believe that
by attending to the sacred message of Your cross, I can learn
authentic love of You and Your Kingdom. In Your cross is an example of every
virtue I need and every goal I wish to attain. In the cross there is hope, an
all-powerful hope that transcends every human disappointment. I wish to carry
my cross with joy as a token of my love and gratitude to You.
Petition: Lord, make the cross a singular place of
friendship with you in my life.
1. Becoming Through
Suffering: Most people move
through the day with self-preservation and self-interest influencing their
decision-making. Choosing a harder road can still be a self-interested affair,
if people seek their own advancement in life. Christ’s message is not simply
about a work ethic—sweating, toiling and sacrificing to be successful. The
self-denial that is asked of a Christian goes deeper than that. It must reach
into that place where we try to preserve ourselves and our most cherished
desires. Nothing teaches Christ’s lesson better than the crosses that have
surprised us, the crosses that were not planned or wanted. Every step with
these crosses on our backs is true following, true loving, true salvation
without delusion or bitterness.
2. Following or
Leading? One day Mother
Teresa saw one of her sisters headed out into the streets with a long face. She
called her over and said, “What did Jesus say, to carry the cross in front of
Him or to follow Him?” The sister responded, smiling, “To follow Him.” Mother
then asked, “Why are you trying to go ahead of Him?” (Mother Teresa: Come be My
Light, p.221) “The cross of Christ” is not just the rightful assumption of the
weight of a holy life, it is also an attitude. The wrong attitude can crush our
spirits and make us suffer like a pagan: alone. Humble faith reveals the One we
follow, who shows us the way, who sustains our hope, and who leads us to
profound Christian joy.
3. Sacrificial Love
and Life Are Inseparable: Seeing
the Kingdom in power is a consequence for those who suffer for Christ. Our Lord
guarantees this: Love will never be defeated in this life or the next. Although
they might seem to have suffered in vain, many saints saw the glory of the Lord
in special moments during their life and in abundance after they passed to
heaven. The incorrupt, the documented miracles of intercession, the great
movement of spirituality in the Church—all these attest that God will never let
love for him be separated from the coming of his Kingdom in power.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, bring my
soul to the cross without fear, trusting in its mysterious power to change me
and the world around me. I should not withdraw from life when it wounds me. May
I resolve in every low moment, when Christ asks for more from me, to live the
resolution of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta: “A hearty ‘Yes’ to God, and a big
smile for all” (Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, p.217).
Resolution: At night I will examine well my
attitudes towards difficulties and ensure that they reflect the spirit of a
true disciple.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
55 1933. Spiritual
Counsel Given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from these interior
inspirations, but always tell everything to your confessor. If you recognize
that these interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is to say, they
are for the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l urge you to
follow them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in consultation
with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
116 My Jesus, You know
what my soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I have often
marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul
suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such moments. My soul
has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries as loudly as he can
when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her. O my Jesus, honor
and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and incomprehensible is your
mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is steeped in Your mercy.
148 +A noble and
delicate soul, even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees
God in everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the
most hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all
things, it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all
things, and it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not
confused when the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best
of Fathers and makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the
faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and
holds onto Him like a child to its mother. Where other souls come to a
standstill and fear, this soul passes on without fear or difficulty.
151 +Once, when I was
in the kitchen with Sister N.,[47] she
got a little upset with me and, as a punishment, ordered me to sit on the table
while she herself continued to work hard, cleaning and scrubbing. And while I
was sitting there, the sisters came along and were astounded to find me sitting
on the table, and each one had her say. One said that I was a loafer and
another, "What an eccentric!" I was a postulant at the time. Others
said, "What kind of a sister will she make?" Still, I could not get
down because sister had ordered me to sit there by virtue of obedience[48] until
she told me to get down. Truly, God alone knows how many acts of self-denial it
took. I thought I'd die of shame. God often allowed such things for the sake of
my inner formation, but He compensated me for this humiliation by a great
consolation. During Benediction I saw Him in great beauty. Jesus looked at me
kindly and said, My daughter, do not be afraid of sufferings; I am with
you.
184 +Holy Hour. During
this hour, l tried to meditate on the Lord's Passion. But my soul was filled
with joy, and suddenly I saw the Child Jesus. But His majesty penetrated me to
such an extent that I said, "Jesus, You are so little, and yet I know that
You are my Creator and Lord." And Jesus answered me, I am, and I
keep company with you as a child to teach you humility and simplicity.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
I gathered all my sufferings and difficulties into a bouquet for Jesus for the day of our perpetual betrothal. Nothing was difficult for me, when I remembered it was for my Betrothed as proof of my love for Him.
209 In my sufferings,
I do not seek help from creatures, but God is everything to me. And yet, it
often seems that even the Lord does not hear me. I arm myself with patience and
silence, like a dove that does not complain and feels no bitterness when its
children are being taken away from it. I want to soar into the very heat of the
sun, and I do not want to stop in its vapors. I will not grow weary, because it
is on You that I am leaning-O You, my Strength!
219 In the evening,
the Lord said to me, My daughter, let nothing frighten or disconcert
you. Remain deeply at peace. Everything is in My hands. I will give you to
understand everything through Father Andrasz. Be like a child towards him.
A Moment Before the
Blessed Sacrament.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
220 O my eternal Lord and Creator, how am I going to thank You for this great favor; namely, that You have deigned to choose miserable me to be Your betrothed and that You are to unite me to yourself in an eternal bond? O dearest Treasure of my heart, I offer You all the adoration and thanksgiving of the Saints and of all the choirs of Angels, and I unite myself in a special way with Your Mother. O Mary, my Mother, I humbly beg of You, cover my soul with Your virginal cloak at this very important moment of my life, so that thus I may become dearer to Your Son and may worthily praise Your Son's mercy before the whole world and throughout all eternity.
227 +In the midst of
trials I will try to see the loving hand of God. Nothing is as constant as
suffering-it always faithfully keeps the soul company. O Jesus, I will let no
one surpass me in loving You!
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
230 Jesus, living Host, You are my Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament,
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
The little novice of Jesus-Sister Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
230 Jesus, living Host, You are my Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
236 Oh, how misleading
are appearances, and how unjust the judgments. Oh, how often virtue suffers
only because it remains silent. To be sincere with those who are incessantly
stinging us demands much self-denial. One bleeds, but there are no visible
wounds. O Jesus, it is only on the last day that many of these things will be
made known. What joy-none of our efforts will be lost!
240 Three requests on
the day of my perpetual vows. Jesus, I know that today You will refuse me
nothing.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my lifetime.
Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents. Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of its enemies.
Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to free all souls from purgatory.
Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70] to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things.
Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me, and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your Heart-it is all I need.
Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son.
+Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne.
In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
First request: Jesus, my most beloved Spouse, I beg You for the triumph of the Church, particularly in Russia and in Spain; for blessings on the Holy Father, Pius XI, and on all the clergy; for the grace of conversion for impenitent sinners. And I ask You for a special blessing and for light, O Jesus, for the priests before whom I will make my confessions throughout my lifetime.
Second request :I beg Your blessings on our Congregation, and may it be filled with great zeal. Bless, O Jesus, our Mother General and our Mother Directress, all the novices and all the superiors. Bless my dearest parents. Bestow Your grace, O Jesus, on our wards; strengthen them so powerfully by Your grace so that those who leave our houses will no longer offend You by any sin. Jesus, I beg You for my homeland; protect it against the assaults of its enemies.
Third request:Jesus, I plead with You for the souls that are most in need of prayer. I plead for the dying; be merciful to them. I also beg You, Jesus, to free all souls from purgatory.
Jesus, I commend to You these particular persons: My confessors, persons recommended to my prayers, a certain person..., Father Andrasz, Father Czaputa, and the priest I met in Vilnius [Father Sopocko], who is to be my confessor, a certain soul... a certain priest, a certain religious[70] to whom You know how much I owe, Jesus, and all the people who have been recommended to my prayer. Jesus, on this day You can do everything for those for whom I am pleading. For myself I ask, Lord, transform me completely into Yourself, maintain in me a holy zeal for Your glory, give me the grace and spiritual strength to do Your holy will in all things.
Thank You, o my dearest Bridegroom, for the dignity You have conferred on me, and in particular for the royal coat-of-arms which will adorn me from this day on and which even the Angels do not possess; namely, the cross, the sword and the crown of thorns. But above all, O my Jesus, I thank You for Your Heart-it is all I need.
Mother of God, Most Holy Mary, my Mother, You are my Mother in a special way now because Your beloved Son is my Bridegroom, and thus we are both Your children. For Your Son's sake, You have to love me. O Mary, my dearest Mother, guide my spiritual life in such a way that it will please Your Son.
+Holy and Omnipotent God, at this moment of immense grace by which You are uniting me with Yourself forever, I, mere nothingness, with the utmost gratitude, cast myself at Your feet like a tiny, unknown flower and, each day, the fragrance of that flower of love will ascend to Your throne.
In times of struggle and suffering, of darkness and storm, of yearning and sorrow, in times of difficult trials, in times when nobody will understand me, when I will even be condemned and scorned by everyone, I will remember the day of my perpetual vows, the day of God's incomprehensible grace.
242 +O God, how much I
desire to be a small child.[71] You
are my Father, and You know how little and weak I am. So I beg You, keep me
close by Your side all my life and especially at the hour of my death. Jesus, I
know that Your goodness surpasses the goodness of a most tender mother.
244 Now a gray,
ordinary day has begun. The solemn hours of the perpetual vows have passed, but
God's great grace has remained in my soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am
His child, I feel I am wholly God's property. I experience this in a way that
can be physically sensed. I am completely at peace about everything, because I
know it is the Spouse's business to look after me. I have forgotten about
myself completely. My trust placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I
am continuously united with Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be
happy without me, nor could I without Him. Although I understand that, being
God, He is happy in himself and has absolutely no need of any creature, still,
His goodness compels Him to give himself to the creature, and with a generosity
which is beyond understanding.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
260 I had permission
to visit Czestochowa while on my journey. I saw the Mother of God [image] for
the first time, when I went to attend the unveiling of the image at five in the
morning. I prayed without interruption until eleven, and it seemed to me that I
had just come. The superior of the house there [Mother Serafin[75]]
sent a sister for me, to tell me to come to breakfast and said she was worried
that I would miss my train. The Mother of God told me many things. I entrusted
my perpetual vows to Her. I felt that I was her child and that She was my
Mother. She did not refuse any of my requests.
264 +O my Jesus, keep
me near to You! See how weak I am! I cannot go a step forward by myself; so
You, Jesus, must stand by me constantly like a mother by a helpless child-and
even more so.
274 Jesus gave me the
grace of knowing myself. In this divine light I see my principal fault; it is
pride which takes the form of my closing up within myself and of a lack of
simplicity in my relations with Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden
souls. A hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior
of my soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful
moments, O my Creator, I sing You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss
of my trust in You and in Your mercy!
God, One in the Holy
Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory forever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
284 O Jesus, if only I
could become like mist before Your eyes, to cover the earth so that You would
not see its terrible crimes. Jesus, when I look at the world and its
indifference towards You, again and again it brings tears to my eyes; but when
I look at a cold soul of a religious, my heart bleeds.
294 +Once the Lord
said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets more
alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too should
not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater graces when
I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take
as many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me
more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces not only for
yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the souls with whom you come
in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have
complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for them.
295 +At that moment
Jesus asked me, My child, how is your retreat going? I
answered, "But Jesus, You know how it is going." Yes, I know,
but I want to hear it from your own lips and from your heart. "O
my Master, when You are leading me, everything goes smoothly, and I ask You,
Lord, to never leave my side." And Jesus said, Yes, I will be with
you always, if you always remain a little child and fear nothing. As I was your
beginning here, so I will also be your end. Do not rely on creatures, even in
the smallest things, because this displeases Me. I want to be alone in your
soul. I will give light and strength to your soul, and you will learn from My
representative that I am in you, and your uncertainty will vanish like mist
before the rays of the sun.
296 +O Supreme Good, I
want to love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore
You with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will.
My life is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant
flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering
or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will not enumerate
these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great thing to know how
to make use of the present moment.
297 +Jesus, Supreme
Light, grant me the grace of knowing myself, and pierce my dark soul with Your
light, and fill the abyss of my soul with Your own self, for You alone [...]
298 O my Jesus, the
Life, the Way and the Truth, I beg You to keep me close to You as a mother
holds a baby to her bosom, for I am not only a helpless child, but an
accumulation of misery and nothingness.
306 I asked the Lord
to grant me the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that
sometimes try to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor
regulations. These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to
destroy the spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the
soul is aware of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small
things. I can see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if
I am sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains
in harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
332 +Thursday. When I
started the Holy Hour, I wanted to immerse myself in the agony of Jesus in the
Garden of Olives. Then I heard a voice in my soul: Meditate on the
mystery of the Incarnation. And suddenly the Infant Jesus appeared before
me, radiant with beauty. He told me how much God is pleased with simplicity in
a soul. Although My greatness is beyond understanding, I commune only
with those who are little. I demand of you a childlike spirit.
333 I now see clearly
how God acts through the confessor and how faithfully He keeps His promises.
Two weeks ago, my confessor told me to reflect upon this spiritual childhood.
It was somewhat difficult at first, but my confessor, disregarding my
difficulties, told me to continue to reflect upon spiritual childhood. "In
practice, this spiritual childhood," [he said,] "should manifest
itself in this way: a child does not worry about the past or the future, but
makes use of the present moment. I want to emphasize that spiritual
childlikeness in you, Sister, and I place great stress upon it." I can see
how God bows down to my confessor's wishes; He does not show himself to me at
this time as a Teacher in the fullness of His strength and human adulthood, but
as a little Child. The God who is beyond all understanding stoops to me under
the appearance of a little Child.
334 But the eye of my
soul does not stop at this appearance. Although You take the form of a little
Child, I see in You the immortal, infinite Lord of lords, whom pure spirits
adore, day and night, and for whom the hearts of the Seraphim burn with the
fire of purest love. O Christ, O Jesus, I want to surpass them in my love for
You! I apologize to you, O pure spirits, for my boldness in comparing myself to
you. I, this chasm of misery, this abyss of misery; and You, O God, who are the
incomprehensible abyss of mercy, swallow me up as the heat of the sun swallows
up a drop of dew! A loving look from You will fill up any abyss. I feel
immensely happy at the greatness of God. Seeing God's greatness is more than
enough to make me happy throughout all eternity!
335 Once, when I saw
Jesus in the form of a small child, I asked, "Jesus, why do you now take
on the form of a child when You commune with me? In spite of this, I still see
in You the infinite God, my Lord and Creator. Jesus replied that until I
learned simplicity and humility, He would commune with me as a little child.
343 True love is
measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little
daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal
life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands
of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for
poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for
lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
392 The Lord God
grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask
God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And
in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or
feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say,
a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be
exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must
live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will
be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace
operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by
the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God
loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has
loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
462 Now I understand
well that what unites our soul most closely to God is self-denial; that is,
joining our will to the will of God. This is what makes the soul truly free,
contributes to profound recollection of the spirit, and makes all life's
burdens light, and death sweet.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with which
You speak to me.
538 There will be no
distinction between the sisters, no mothers,[107] no
reverends, no venerables, but all will be equal, even though there might be
great differences in their parentage. We know who Jesus was, and yet how He
humbled himself and with whom He associated. Their habit will be like that worn
by Jesus during His Passion, and they will not simply wear the robe [He wore];
they must also seal themselves with the marks He bore: suffering and scorn.
Each one will strive for the greatest self-denial and have a love of humility,
and she who will distinguish herself most in this latter virtue will be the one
who is capable of leading the others.
993 + I asked the Lord
to have a certain person come to visit me today so that I could see her one
more time, and that would be a sign for me that she was being called to the
convent which Jesus is having me establish. And, O wonder, the person in
question came, and I tried to form her a bit, spiritually. I began to show her
the way of self-denial and sacrifice, which she readily accepted. However, I
have placed this whole matter in the hands of the Lord, that He may direct
everything according to His good pleasure.
1409+ Today the Lord
Jesus is giving me an awareness of Himself and of His most tender love and care
for me. He is bringing me to understand deeply how everything depends on His
will, and how He allows certain difficulties precisely for our merit, so that
our fidelity might be clearly manifest. And through this, I have been given
strength for suffering and self-denial.
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-55, 116, 148, 151, 184, 209, 219-220)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-227-230, 236, 240, 242, 244-245, 260)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-260, 264, 274-275, 283-284, 294-298)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-306, 332-335, 343, 392, 462, 497)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-538, 993)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1409)
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