Bigger Barns?
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October 23, 2017. Memorial of St. John of Capistrano, OFM, Priest
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Father Steven Reilly, LC
Luke 12:13-21
Someone in the crowd said to Jesus,
"Teacher, tell my brother to share the inheritance with me." He
replied to him, "Friend, who appointed me as your judge and
arbitrator?" Then he said to the crowd, "Take care to guard against
all greed, for though one may be rich, one´s life does not consist of
possessions." Then he told them a parable. "There was a rich man
whose land produced a bountiful harvest. He asked himself, ´What shall I do,
for I do not have space to store my harvest?´ And he said, ´This is what I
shall do: I shall tear down my barns and build larger ones. There I shall
store all my grain and other goods and I shall say to myself, "Now as
for you, you have so many good things stored up for many years, rest, eat,
drink, be merry!" But God said to him, ´You fool, this night your life
will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they
belong?´ Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for himself but
is not rich in what matters to God."
Introductory Prayer: O God, I come to You today with all my human frailty. You know
me better than I know myself. I am in Your presence to accompany and console
You, not to seek consolation or a nice feeling for myself. Even if I get
distracted during our time together, I offer myself to You completely.
Petition: Lord, give me wisdom to understand what is truly important in
this life.
1. The Scorecard of Life: Driving down the road, a bumper sticker is
often seen: “The one who dies with the most toys wins.” This is a
contemporary rendition of the mantra of Jesus’ rich fool: “Eat, drink and be
merry.” Juggling credit cards and all kinds of financing schemes, many people
live life like the rich fool in today’s Gospel. Is the drive for material
pleasure, or security, impoverishing my soul?
2. A Bigger Barn vs. a Bigger Heart: What will truly make us happy? Glossy
magazine ads are, for some, a source of inspiration on this point. Basically,
they are about “bigger barns”: a hotter car, redder lipstick, spectacular
vacations. The rich fool believes that by increasing his capacity for
material pleasure, he will be happier. But it’s an illusion. Like the running
wheel for a gerbil, it is lots of movement without getting anywhere. We
invest energy and effort acquiring things, but the bigger barn brings us
little joy. That’s because our hearts -- not our barns -- are what really
need to be enlarged. Our heart longs for love. That Augustinian restlessness
will never leave us in peace until we have encountered the Lord who loves us
and discovered him in the relationships ordained by his providence.
3. When the Final Curtain Is Drawn: At the end of this parable, Jesus in essence
says, “You can’t take it with you.” There’s a place in Rome in which this is
graphically depicted. The Capuchin church of St Mary of the Immaculate
Conception, on Via Veneto, is affectionately known as the “Bone Church.”
Inside there is an amazingly designed and arranged display made completely
out of the bones of four thousand Capuchin friars! While it may strike at
modern sensitivities as somewhat morbid, like today’s Gospel it teaches an
important lesson. All those bones look alike. Unless you are a forensic
expert, you cannot tell who was fat or thin, smart or dull, handsome or
homely. Death is the great leveler. Earthly advantages dissolve. Material
goods stay in this world. We go to the Lord to render an account of our lives
at death. As the little sign on the wall of the Capuchin ossarium says, “One
day, we were like you. One day, you will be like us.”
Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, so often I find my eyes looking
on the good things of this world more as ends than means. I need to keep my
priorities straight always: You first and then everything else, inasmuch as
they lead me to You. Give me the wisdom to realize that life is short and it
must be lived for You alone.
Resolution: I will live charity today as fervently as if
I knew this day were my last.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
57 O my Jesus, You
are the life of my life. You know only too well that I long for nothing but
the glory of Your Name and that souls come to know Your goodness. Why do
souls avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand that. Oh, if I could only cut my
heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You, O Jesus, each piece as a
heart whole and entire, to make up in part for the hearts that do not love
You! I love You, Jesus, with every drop of my blood, and I would gladly shed
my blood for You to give You a proof of the sincerity of my love. O God, the
more I know You the less I can comprehend You, but this
"non-comprehension" lets me realize how great You are! And it is
this impossibility of comprehending You which enflames my heart anew for You,
O Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O
Jesus, I have been at peace and desired nothing else. I found my destiny at
the moment when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love. In
comparison with you, everything is nothing. Sufferings, adversities,
humiliations, failures and suspicions that have come my way are splinters
that keep alive the fire of my love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus. Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
116 My Jesus, You
know what my soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I
have often marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight
of a soul suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such
moments. My soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries
as loudly as he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize
her. O my Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and
incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is
steeped in Your mercy.
118 The tongue is a
small member, but it does big things. A religious who does not keep silence
will never attain holiness; that is, she will never become a saint. Let her
not delude herself-unless it is the Spirit of God who is speaking through
her, for then she must not keep silent. But, in order to hear the voice of
God, one has to have silence in one's soul and to keep silence; not a gloomy
silence, but an interior silence; that is to say, recollection in God. One
can speak a great deal without breaking silence and, on the contrary, one can
speak little and be constantly breaking silence. Oh, what irreparable damage
is done by the breach of silence! We cause a lot of harm to our neighbor, but
even more to our own selves.
In my opinion, and according to my experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place. God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells, is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence; they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
163 JMJ The Year
1937
General Exercises +O Most Holy Trinity! As many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy. +I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, 0 Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor. Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue. Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pains and moanings. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all. Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks. Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor. Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me. +You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically. O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself, for you can do all things.
216 We have come to
Cracow today [April 18, 1933]. What a joy it is to find myself again where I
took my first steps in the spiritual life! Dear Mother Directress [Mary
Joseph] is ever the same, cheerful and full of love of neighbor. I entered
the chapel for a moment and joy filled my soul. In a flash I recalled the
whole ocean of graces that had been given me as a novice here.
236 Oh, how
misleading are appearances, and how unjust the judgments. Oh, how often
virtue suffers only because it remains silent. To be sincere with those who
are incessantly stinging us demands much self-denial. One bleeds, but there
are no visible wounds. O Jesus, it is only on the last day that many of these
things will be made known. What joy-none of our efforts will be lost!
241 Love of
neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about
those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice
in the success of others.
279 God made known
to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice,
to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's
will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least,
must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child,
you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental
sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the
fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My
daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
294 +Once the Lord
said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets
more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too
should not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater
graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the
more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you
will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces
not only for yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the souls with
whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those
souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for them.
296 +O Supreme Good,
I want to love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to
adore You with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy
will. My life is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of
fragrant flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily
of suffering or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I
will not enumerate these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a
great thing to know how to make use of the present moment.
343 True love is
measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little
daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life,
for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of
others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions, for
poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for
lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
375 Particular interior
practice; that is, the examination of conscience. Self-denial, denial of my
own will.
I. The denial of my reason. Subjecting it to the reason of those who represent God to me here on earth. II. The denial of my will. Doing the will of God, which is revealed in the will of those who represent God to me and which is contained in the rule of our order. III. The denial of my judgment. Accepting immediately and without reflection, analysis or reasoning all orders given by those who represent God to me. IV. The denial of my tongue. I will not give it the least bit of freedom; but in one case only I will give it complete freedom; that is, in proclaiming the glory of God. Whenever I receive Holy Communion, I will ask Jesus to fortify and cleanse my tongue that I may not injure my neighbor with it. That is why I have the greatest respect for the rule which speaks about silence.
383 At the beginning
of the retreat, I saw, on the ceiling of the chapel, Jesus nailed to the
Cross. He was looking at the sisters with great love, but not at all of them.
There were three sisters at whom Jesus looked severely, for what reasons I do
not know. I only know what a terrible thing it is to meet with such a look,
which is the look of a severe Judge. That look was not directed at me, and
yet I was paralyzed with terror. I still tremble as I write these words. I
did not dare to say so much as a single word to Jesus. My physical strength
failed me, and I thought I would not live to the end of the conference. The
next day, I saw the same thing again, just as I had seen it the first time,
and this time I dared to speak these words: "Jesus, how great is Your
mercy!"
On the third day, that gaze of great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again repeated. I gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of neighbor, and I said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You yourself told me, I beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with kindness at these three sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with Your wisdom, I ask You for an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for my soul, and let Your severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus then said to me these words: My daughter, for the sake of your sincere and generous love, I grant them many graces although they are not asking Me for them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made to you. And at that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three sisters as well. My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
392 The Lord God
grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask
God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it.
And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in
words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that
is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties
must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but
first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then
the Gospel will be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my
deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me
Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons
live in me. When God loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power
of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His
spouse?
462 Now I understand
well that what unites our soul most closely to God is self-denial; that is,
joining our will to the will of God. This is what makes the soul truly free,
contributes to profound recollection of the spirit, and makes all life's
burdens light, and death sweet.
549 Work. As poor
persons, the nuns themselves will do all the work in the convent. Each one
should be glad when she is given some work which is humbling or which goes
against her nature, as that will greatly help her interior formation. The
superior will often change the sisters' duties, and in this way help them to detach
themselves completely from the little details to which women have a great
attachment. Truly, I often find it amusing to see with my own eyes souls who
have forsaken really great things only to attach themselves to fiddle faddle;
that is, trifles. Each sister, including even the superior, shall work in the
kitchen for a month. Every one should take a turn at every chore which is to
be done in the convent.
571 O my Jesus,
Eternal Truth, I fear nothing, neither hardships nor sufferings; I fear only
one thing, and that is to offend You. My Jesus, I would rather not exist than
make You sad. Jesus, You know that my love knows no one but You. My soul is
absorbed in You.
590 When I receive
Holy Communion, I entreat and beg the Savior to heal my tongue, that I may
never fail in love of neighbor.
692 + O Jesus, I
understand that Your mercy is beyond all imagining, and therefore I ask You
to make my heart so big that there will be room in it for the needs of all
the souls living on the face of the earth. O Jesus, my love extends beyond
the world, to the souls suffering in purgatory, and I want to exercise mercy
toward them by means of indulgenced prayers. God's mercy is unfathomable and
inexhaustible, just as God himself is unfathomable. Even if I were to use the
strongest words there are to express this mercy of God, all this would be
nothing in comparison with what it is in reality. O Jesus, make my heart
sensitive to all the sufferings of my neighbor, whether of body or of soul. O
my Jesus, I know that You act toward us as we act toward our neighbor.
My Jesus, make my heart like unto Your merciful Heart. Jesus, help me to go through life doing good to everyone.
700 + Once, when I
was very tired and in much pain, I told Mother Superior [Irene] about it and
received the answer that I should get used to suffering. I listened to
everything that Mother told me, and then I went out. Our Mother Superior has
great love of neighbor and especially great love for the sick sisters, as
everyone knows. And yet, as regards me, it is extraordinary that the Lord
Jesus has permitted that she not understand me and that she test me much in
this respect.
704 I spend every
free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask Him about
everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength and
light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act toward my
neighbor. From the time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed myself in the
tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me into the fire
of living love on which everything converges.
742 My
daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you should be
the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand
from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to
show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from
this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it.
I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God. + Particular Examen Union with the merciful Christ. With my heart I encompass the whole world, especially countries which are uncivilized or where there is persecution. I am praying for mercy upon them.
791 Hide me, Jesus,
in the depths of Your mercy, and then let my neighbor judge me as he pleases.
856 During the
morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created
things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all
things. I desire only God himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom
beyond description. God imparts himself to the soul in a loving way and draws
it into the infinite depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves
it here on earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing
for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in
it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally
saturated with bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous
dying, painful and terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true
life and of inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because
of this, [the soul] is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
861 Particular
examen: remains the same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ
(that is; what would Christ do in such and such a case?) and, in spirit, to
embrace the whole world, especially Russia and Spain.
General resolutions.
I. Strict observance
of silence - interior silence.
II. To see the image
of God in every sister; all love of neighbor must flow from this motive.
III. To do the will
of God faithfully at every moment of my life and to live by this.
IV. To give a
faithful account of everything to the spiritual director and not to undertake
anything of importance without a clear understanding with him. I shall try to
clearly lay bare to him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind
that I am dealing with God himself, and that His representative is just a
human being, and so I must pray daily that he be given light.
V. During the
evening examination of conscience, I am to ask myself the question: What if
He were to call me today?
VI. Not to look for
God far away, but within my own being to abide with Him alone.
VII. In sufferings
and torments, to take refuge in the tabernacle and to be silent.
VIII. To join all
sufferings, prayers, works and mortifications to the merits of Jesus in order
to obtain mercy for the world.
IX. To use free
moments, however short, for prayers for the dying.
X. There must not be
a day in my life when I do not recommend to the Lord the works of our
Congregation. Never have regard for what others think of you [for human
respect].
XI. Have no familiar
relationships with anyone. Gentle firmness toward the girls, boundless
patience; punish them severely but with such punishments as these: prayer and
self-sacrifice. The strength that is in the emptying of myself for their sake
is for them a [source of] constant remorse and the softening of their
obdurate hearts.
XII. The presence of
God is the basis of all my thoughts, words and deeds.
XIII. To take
advantage of all spiritual help. To always put self-love in its proper place;
namely, the last. To perform my spiritual exercises as though I were doing
them for the last time in my life, and in like manner to carry out all my
duties.
871 + My Master,
cause my heart never to expect help from anyone, but I will always strive to
bring assistance, consolation and all manner of relief to others. My heart is
always open to the sufferings of others; and I will not close my heart to the
sufferings of others, even though because of this I have been scornfully
nicknamed "dump"; that is, [because] everyone dumps his pain into
my heart. [To this] I answered that everyone has a place in my heart and I,
in return, have a place in the Heart of Jesus. Taunts regarding the law of
love will not narrow my heart. My soul is always sensitive on this point, and
Jesus alone is the motive for my love of neighbor.
944 + There are
moments when I mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and wretchedness
in the most profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed that I can
endure such moments only by trusting in the infinite mercy of God. Patience,
prayer and silence-these are what give strength to the soul. There are
moments when one should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to talk
with creatures; these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with oneself,
and when the soul feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul clings to
God with all its might. At such times, I live solely by faith, and when I
feel strengthened by God's grace, then I am more courageous in speaking and
communicating with my neighbors.
1039 + I suffer
great pain at the sight of the sufferings of others. All these sufferings are
reflected in my heart. I carry their torments in my heart so that it even
wears me out physically. I would like all pains to fall upon me so as to
bring relief to my neighbor.
1662 + O Christ,
suffering for You is the delight of my heart and my soul. Prolong my
sufferings to infinity, that I may give You a proof of my love. I accept
everything that Your hand will hold out to me. Your love, Jesus, is enough
for me. I will glorify You in abandonment and darkness, in agony and fear, in
pain and bitterness, in anguish of spirit and grief of heart. In all things
may You be blessed. My heart is so detached from the earth, that You Yourself
are enough for me. There is no longer any moment in my life for self concern.
1663 Holy Thursday [April 14, 1938]. Today I
felt strong enough to take part in the ceremonies of the Church. During Holy
Mass, Jesus stood before me and said, Look into My Heart and see
there the love and mercy which I have for humankind, and especially for
sinners. Look, and enter into My Passion. In an instant, I
experienced and lived through the whole Passion of Jesus in my own heart. I
was surprised that these tortures did not deprive me of my life.
1664 During adoration, Jesus said to
me, My daughter, know that your ardent love and the compassion you
have for Me were a consolation to Me in the Garden [of
Olives].
1665 During Holy
Hour in the evening, I heard the words, You see My mercy for sinners,
which at this moment is revealing itself in all its power. See how little you
have written about it; it is only a single drop. Do what is in your power, so
that sinners may come to know My goodness.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-57, 116, 118, 163, 216, 236 241)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-279, 294, 296, 343, 375, 383, 392, 462)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-549, 571, 590, 692, 700, 704, 742, 791)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-856, 861, 871, 944)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1029, 1039)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1662-1663)
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