Put God at the Center
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February 28, 2018. Wednesday
of the Second Week of Lent
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Matthew 20: 17-28
As Jesus was going
up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said
to them on the way, "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son
of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they
will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and
scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day." Then
the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached him with her sons and did him
homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, "What do you
wish?" She answered him, "Command that these two sons of mine sit,
one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom." Jesus
said in reply, "You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the
cup that I am going to drink?" They said to him, "We can." He
replied, "My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and
at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been
prepared by my Father." When the ten heard this, they became indignant
at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, "You know that
the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority
over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to
be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among
you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served
but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Introductory Prayer:
Lord, though I
cannot see You with my eyes, I believe You are present to me now, in my
innermost being, and that You know me far better than I know myself. I also
know that You love me much more than I love my own self. Thank You for loving
and watching over me, though I don’t deserve Your love. In return, I offer
You my sorrow for my sins and my hopes to love You more each day.
Petition: Lord, wean me from
dependence on human honors and approval.
1. Seeking the
Limelight: James
and John rub shoulders with that temptation the devil puts before every
apostle: “What’s in it for me, Lord?” We start out our apostolic work with
purity of intention, but if we are careless, it soon becomes “purely
attention.” That is why we should always be willing to submit our work to the
approval of the proper ecclesiastical authorities. Christ steered clear from
all power grabs and squabbles. John would alert Christ, “Teacher, we saw
someone driving out demons in your name, and we tried to prevent him because
he does not follow us.” Christ simply replied, “Do not prevent him … for
whoever is not against us is for us” (Mark 9:38-9).
2. Christ is Never
Discouraged: Christ
has just told his apostles of his passion, and it weighs heavily on his
heart. Drowning in their own fascination for recognition, however, they are
completely oblivious to Christ’s sufferings. He doesn’t let himself get
discouraged. Rather, he gently helps them to look beyond themselves to follow
his lead of self-giving to the point of death.
3. Putting Others
First: “Do not work for
food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the
Son of Man will give you” (John 6:27). Human recognition is passing; it
doesn’t even last a lifetime. Even in heaven human recognition will be
useless—our eyes will be fixed on God, not on each other or ourselves.
However, we do know by faith that God will reward us in heaven according to
our merits. He will exalt us for serving others, especially when we bring
others to love and serve him. Am I convinced of this? What ephemeral honors
am I hankering after? How can I put Christ and serving him first in my life?
Conversation with
Christ: Dear Jesus, too
often I compare myself with others. It´s easy for me to find or imagine my
superiority. I ignore You and Your great goodness. I forget that everything I
have comes from You and that I can´t claim credit for any of my qualities and
virtues. Help me to keep this truth in mind so I may have an attitude of
genuine humility in my heart.
Resolution: I will pray a
special prayer for humility every day this week.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
92 Humiliation is my daily food. I
understand that the bride must herself share in everything that is the groom's;
and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those times when I suffer
much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at such
moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to help me praise
God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I receive
Jesus in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue so
that I would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to
praise God without cease. Great are the faults committed by the tongue. The
soul will not attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its tongue.
178 Today we are beginning the
third probation. All three of us met at Mother Margaret's, as the other
sisters were having their probation in the novitiate. Mother Margaret began
with a prayer, explained to us what the third probation consists of, and then
spoke on how great is the grace of the perpetual vows. Suddenly I began to
cry out loud. In an instant all God's graces appeared before the eyes of my
soul, and I saw myself so wretched and ungrateful toward God. The sisters
began to rebuke me, saying, "Why did she break out crying?" But
Mother Margaret came to my defense, saying that she was not surprised.
At the end of the hour, I went before the Blessed Sacrament and, like the greatest and most miserable of wretches, I begged for His mercy that He might heal and purify my poor soul. Then I heard these words, My daughter, all your miseries have been consumed in the flame of My love, like a little twig thrown into a roaring fire. By humbling yourself in this way, you draw upon yourself and upon other souls an entire sea of My mercy. I answered, "Jesus, mold my poor heart according to Your divine delight."
224 To suffer without complaining,
to bring comfort to others and to drown my own sufferings in the most Sacred
Heart of Jesus!
I will spend all my free moments at the feet of [Our Lord in] the Blessed Sacrament. At the feet of Jesus, I will seek light, comfort and strength. I will show my gratitude unceasingly to God for His great mercy towards me, never forgetting the favors He has bestowed on me, especially the grace of a vocation. I will hide myself among the sisters like a little violet among lilies. I want to blossom for my Lord and Maker, to forget about myself, to empty myself totally for the sake of immortal souls-this is my delight.
270 Without humility, we cannot be
pleasing to God. Practice the third degree of humility;[76] that is,
not only must one refrain from explaining and defending oneself when
reproached with something, but one should rejoice at the humiliation.
If the things you are telling me really come from God, prepare your soul for great suffering. You will encounter disapproval and persecution. They will look upon you as a hysteric and an eccentric, but the Lord will lavish His graces upon you. True works of God always meet opposition and are marked by suffering. If God wants to accomplish something, sooner or later He will do so in spite of the difficulties. Your part, in the meantime, is to arm yourself with great patience.
282 Once the Lord said to me, My
Heart was moved by great mercy towards you, My dearest child, when I saw you
torn to shreds because of the great pain you suffered in repenting for your
sins. I see your love, so pure and true that I give you first place among the
virgins. You are the honor and glory of My Passion. I see every abasement of
your soul, and nothing escapes my attention. I lift up the humble even to my
very throne, because I want it so.
294 +Once the Lord said to me,
Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he
asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too should not back
away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give
them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as
many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me
more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces not only for
yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the souls with whom you
come in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who
have complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for them.
511 When my intentions are not
recognized, but rather condemned, I am not too much surprised, for I know
that it is only God who scrutinizes my heart. Truth will not die; the wounded
heart will regain peace in due time, and my spirit is strengthened through adversities.
I do not always listen to what my heart tells me, but I keep asking God for
light; and when I feel l have regained my equilibrium, then I say more.
552 In addition to the vows, I see one rule as most
important. Although all the rules are
important, I put this one in first place, and it is
silence. Truly, if this rule were to be observed strictly, I would not worry
about the others. Women are very fond of talking, but the Holy Spirit does
not speak to a soul that is distracted and garrulous. He speaks by His quiet
inspirations to a soul that is recollected, to a soul that knows how to keep
silence. If silence were strictly observed, there would not be any grumbling,
bitterness, slandering, or gossip, and charity would not be tarnished. In a
word, many wrongs would not be done. Silent lips are pure gold and bear
witness to holiness within.
580 On a certain occasion, the
Lord said to me, I am more deeply wounded by the small imperfections of
chosen souls than by the sins of those living in the world. It made me
very sad that chosen souls make Jesus suffer, and Jesus told me, These
little imperfections are not all. I will reveal to you a secret of My Heart:
what I suffer from chosen souls. Ingratitude in return for so many graces is
My Heart's constant food, on the part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is
lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear it; these souls force Me to reject them.
Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet
intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance,
and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My
death has not convinced you of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me
mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me. There
are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of My love. They do
not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The loss of
these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God though I am, I cannot help
such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or love
Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell all the world about My
goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart.
581 I will tell you most when you converse with Me in the depths of your heart. Here, no one can disturb My actions. Here, I rest as in a garden enclosed.
587 Once, I suddenly saw Jesus in
great majesty, and He spoke these words to me: My daughter, if you wish, I
will this instant create a new world, more beautiful than this one, and you will
live there for the rest of your life. I answered, "I don't want any
worlds. I want You, Jesus. I want to love You, with the same love that You
have for me. I beg You for only one thing: to make my heart capable of loving
you. I am very much surprised at Your offer, my Jesus; what are those worlds
to me? Even if You gave me a thousand of them, what are they to me? You know
very well, Jesus, that my heart is dying of longing for You. Everything that
is not You is nothing to me." -At that moment, I could no longer see
anything, but a strange force took over my soul, a strange fire sprang up in
my heart, and I entered into a kind of agony for Him. Then I heard these
words: With no other soul do I unite myself as closely and in such a way
as I do with you, and this because of the deep humility and ardent love which
you have for Me.
605 O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I
thank You for allowing me to know the greatness and the various degrees of
glory to which souls attain. Oh, what a great difference of depth in the
knowledge of God there is between one degree and another! Oh, if people could
only know this! O my God, if I were thereby able to attain one more degree, I
would gladly suffer all the torments of the martyrs put together. Truly, all
those torments seem as nothing to me compared with the glory that is awaiting
us for all eternity. O Lord, immerse my soul in the ocean of Your divinity
and grant me the grace of knowing You; for the better I know You, the more I
desire You, and the more my love for You grows. I feel in my soul an
unfathomable abyss which only God can fill. I lose myself in Him as a drop
does in the ocean. The Lord has inclined himself to my misery like a ray of
the sun upon a barren and rocky desert. And yet, under the influence of His
rays, my soul has become covered with verdure, flowers, and fruit, and has
become a beautiful garden for His repose.
838 + I marvel at how many
humiliations and sufferings that priest accepts in this whole matter. [153]
I see this at particular times, and I support him with my unworthy prayers.
Only God can give one such courage; otherwise one would give up. But I see
with joy that all these adversities contribute to God's greater glory. The
Lord has few such souls. O infinite eternity, you will make manifest the
efforts of heroic souls, because the earth rewards their efforts with hatred
and ingratitude. Such souls do not have friends; they are solitary. And in
this solitude, they gain strength; they draw their strength from God alone.
With humility, but also with courage, they stand firmly in the face of all
the storms that beat upon them. Like high-towering oaks, they are unmoved.
And in this there is just this one secret: that it's from God that they draw
this strength, and everything whatsoever they have need of, they have for
themselves and for others. They not only carry their own burden, but also
know how to take on, and are capable of taking on, the burdens of others.
They are pillars of light along God's ways; they live in light themselves and
shed light upon others. They themselves live on the heights, and know how to
show the way to lesser ones and help them attain those heights.
856 During the morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all things. I desire only God himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom beyond description. God imparts himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally saturated with bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true life and of inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because of this, [the soul] is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
890 Love is a mystery that
transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God.
The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she knows no slavish
compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of soul, because the
love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything that surrounds her
makes her know that only God himself is worthy of her love. A soul in love
with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same dispositions
as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with great
care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if, after some time,
something turns out to be less successful. She remains calm, because at the
time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it happens that
the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her,
she then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul understands that
there are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her will, she is
always with God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in battle; from
afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle. She knows she
is not alone-God is her strength.
1260 Today I heard these words: My
daughter, be always like a little child towards those who represent Me,
otherwise you will not benefit from the graces I bestow on you through them.
1293 It so happened that I fell
again into a certain error, in spite of a sincere resolution not to do
so-even though the lapse was a minor imperfection and rather involuntary-and
at this I felt such acute pain in my soul that I interrupted my work and went
to the chapel for a while. Falling at the feet of Jesus, with love and a
great deal of pain, I apologized to the Lord, all the more ashamed because of
the fact that in my conversation with Him after Holy Communion this very
morning I had promised to be faithful to Him. Then I heard these words: If
it hadn't been for this small imperfection, you wouldn't have come to Me.
Know that as often as you come to Me, humbling yourself and asking My
forgiveness, I pour out a superabundance of graces on your soul, and your
imperfection vanishes before My eyes, and I see only your love and your
humility. You lose nothing but gain much...
1306 + O humility, lovely flower,
I see how few souls possess you. Is it because you are so beautiful and at
the same time so difficult to attain? O yes, it is both the one and the
other. Even God takes great pleasure in her. The floodgates of heaven are
open to a humble soul, and a sea of graces flows down upon her. O how
beautiful is a humble soul! From her heart, as from a center, rises a varied
and most pleasing fragrance which breaks through the skies and reaches God
himself, filling His Most Sacred Heart with joy. God refuses nothing to such
a soul; she is all-powerful and influences the destiny of the whole world.
God raises such a soul up to His very throne, and the more she humbles
herself, the more God stoops down to her, pursuing her with His graces and
accompanying her at every moment with His omnipotence. Such a soul is most
deeply united with God. O humility, strike deep roots in my whole being. O
Virgin most pure, but also most humble, help me to attain deep humility. Now
I understand why there are so few saints; it is because so few souls are
deeply humble.
1313 O my Jesus, now everything is
clear to me, and I understand all that has just happened. I somehow felt and
asked myself what sort of a poor man is this who radiates such modesty. From
that moment on, there was stirred up in my heart an even purer love toward
the poor and the needy. Oh, how happy I am that my superiors have given me
such a task! I understand that mercy is manifold; one can do good always and
everywhere and at all times. An ardent love of God sees all around itself
constant opportunities to share itself through deed, word and prayer. Now I
understand the words which You spoke to me, O Lord, some time ago.
1415 I desire, My dearly
beloved daughter, that you practice the three virtues that are dearest to
Me-and most pleasing to God. The first is humility, humility, and once again
humility; the second virtue, purity; the third virtue, love of God. As My
daughter, you must especially radiate with these virtues. When the
conversation ended, She pressed me to Her Heart and disappeared. When I
regained the use of my senses, my heart became so wonderfully attracted to
these virtues; and I practice them faithfully. They are as though engraved in
my heart.
1509 It often happens when one is ill, as in the case of
Job in the Old Testament, that as long as one can move about and work,
everything is fine and dandy; but when God sends illness, somehow or other,
there are fewer friends about. But yet, there are some. They still take
interest in our suffering and all that, but if God sends a longer illness,
even those faithful friends slowly begin to desert us. They visit us less
frequently, and often their visits cause suffering. Instead of comforting us,
they reproach us about certain things, which is an occasion of a good deal of
suffering. And so the soul, like Job, is alone; but fortunately it is not
alone, because Jesus Host is with it.
After having tasted the above sufferings and spent a whole
night in bitterness, the next
morning, when the chaplain [Father Theodore] brought me
Holy Communion, I had to
control myself by sheer effort of will to keep from crying
out at the top of my voice,
"Welcome, my true and only Friend." Holy
Communion gives me strength to suffer and
fight.
I wish to speak of one more thing that I have experienced:
when God gives neither death nor health, and [when] this lasts for many
years, people become accustomed to this and consider the person as not being
ill. Then there begins a whole series of silent sufferings. Only God knows
how many sacrifices the soul makes.
Conference on Sacrifice and Prayer.
1813 5. + Today, I am not forcing myself to make any
special preparation. I cannot think of anything, though I feel many things. I
long for the time when God will come to my heart. I throw myself in His arms
and tell Him about my inability and my misery. I pour out all the pain of my
heart, for not being able to love Him as much as I want. I arouse within
myself acts of faith, hope and charity and live on that throughout the day.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-92, 178, 224, 270, 282, 294)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-511, 552, 580, 581, 587, 605)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-838, 856, 890)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1260, 1293, 1306, 1313)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1415, 1509)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1813)
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