Intimate
Friendship with the Lord
May 6, 2018 Sixth Sunday of Easter
Father John Doyle,
LC
John 15:9-17
Jesus said to his disciples: "As the Father loves me, so I also
love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my
love, just as I have kept my Father´s commandments and remain in his love. I
have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love
than this, to lay down one´s life for one´s friends. You are my friends if you
do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not
know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told
you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I
who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that
whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. This I command you:
love one another."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, as I begin
this prayer I offer You my whole self: my thoughts, desires, decisions,
actions, hopes, fears, weaknesses, failures and petty successes. I open my
entire being to You, aware that You know everything already. I’m certain of
Your mercy and of the purifying power of Your penetrating, loving gaze.
Petition: Jesus, let me fulfill your command
of charity.
1. The Depths of Jesus’ Love: Jesus makes a
startling comparison: He likens his love for his disciples with the immense
love his Father has for him. Before even the world came to be, the Father and
the Son were immersed in boundless, mutual love. The Holy Spirit is this bond
of love. The intimacy of the union and self-giving of the Blessed Trinity
surpasses any human comparison, and yet Our Lord tells his disciples he loves
them in a like manner. Do I realize how deeply my Savior loves me? Does the
truth of Christ’s personal love for me, proven from the height of the cross,
fill me with awe and find an ever more generous response in my spiritual life?
2. Demands of Friendship: The circumstances and timing
surrounding Jesus’ designation of his disciples as friends reiterates the
authenticity of the title. Jesus is just a few hours away from being abandoned
and betrayed by those he now calls friends. Still, Our Lord is so moved by love
that he looks beyond his followers’ betrayal, to the victory he is about to win
for them. Jesus also offers me his friendship. He invites me to “remain in his
love.” I am not called to be a spectator, but to discover the joy found in accompanying
him. To follow the “Crucified One” will always be demanding, but his friendship
is a treasure which far surpasses the weight of the cross.
3. Badge of Love: The mutual love of the Father and
the Son, which Jesus gratuitously extends to us as his friends, should bear
fruit in charity. The first Christians took very seriously Christ’s command of
charity. It was their distinctive mark. It set them apart from the peoples
among whom they lived. It was the magnetic force that attracted so many to join
their ranks. The command to love each other is the logical result of our
personal worth as people loved by the Lord. If Jesus loves my brother or sister
so much that he gave his life for him or her, can there be any excuse for me
not to show respect and deference on their behalf? Charity is the badge of
every true Christian. How can I better live Christ’s commandment of love,
starting within my own family?
Conversation with Christ: Jesus, I pray
that I will never cease to be astonished by the depths of Your personal love
for me. You call me Your friend even though I have not always lived up to the
demands of this calling. I want to be a better and truer friend of Yours.
Resolution: I will show a
simple act of kindness to a member of my family today.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
57
O my Jesus, You are the life of my life. You know only too well that I long for
nothing but the glory of Your Name and that souls come to know Your goodness.
Why do souls avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand that. Oh, if I could only cut
my heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You, O Jesus, each piece as
a heart whole and entire, to make up in part for the hearts that do not love
You! I love You, Jesus, with every drop of my blood, and I would gladly shed my
blood for You to give You a proof of the sincerity of my love. O God, the more
I know You the less I can comprehend You, but this
"non-comprehension" lets me realize how great You are! And it is this
impossibility of comprehending You which enflames my heart anew for You, O
Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus,
I have been at peace and desired nothing else. I found my destiny at the moment
when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love. In comparison with
you, everything is nothing. Sufferings, adversities, humiliations, failures and
suspicions that have come my way are splinters that keep alive the fire of my
love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
58 +One night, a sister who had died two months previously came to me. She was a sister of the first choir. I saw her in a terrible condition, all in flames with her face painfully distorted. This lasted only a short time, and then she disappeared. A shudder went through my soul because I did not know whether she was suffering in purgatory or in hell. Nevertheless I redoubled my prayers for her. The next night she came again, but I saw her in an even more horrible state, in the midst of flames which were even more intense, and despair was written all over her face. I was astonished to see her in a worse condition after the prayers I had offered for her, and I asked, "Haven't my prayers helped you?" She answered that my prayers had not helped her and that nothing would help her. I said to her, "And the prayers which been any help to you?" She said no, that these prayers had helped some other souls. I replied, "If my prayers are not helping you, Sister, please stop coming to me." She disappeared at once. Despite this, I kept on praying.
After some time she came back again to me during the night, but already her appearance had changed. There were no longer any flames, as there had been before, and her face was radiant, her eyes beaming with joy. She told me that I had a true love for my neighbor and that many other souls had profited from my prayers. She urged me not to cease praying for the souls in purgatory, and she added that she herself would not remain there much longer. How astounding are the decrees of God!
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
58 +One night, a sister who had died two months previously came to me. She was a sister of the first choir. I saw her in a terrible condition, all in flames with her face painfully distorted. This lasted only a short time, and then she disappeared. A shudder went through my soul because I did not know whether she was suffering in purgatory or in hell. Nevertheless I redoubled my prayers for her. The next night she came again, but I saw her in an even more horrible state, in the midst of flames which were even more intense, and despair was written all over her face. I was astonished to see her in a worse condition after the prayers I had offered for her, and I asked, "Haven't my prayers helped you?" She answered that my prayers had not helped her and that nothing would help her. I said to her, "And the prayers which been any help to you?" She said no, that these prayers had helped some other souls. I replied, "If my prayers are not helping you, Sister, please stop coming to me." She disappeared at once. Despite this, I kept on praying.
After some time she came back again to me during the night, but already her appearance had changed. There were no longer any flames, as there had been before, and her face was radiant, her eyes beaming with joy. She told me that I had a true love for my neighbor and that many other souls had profited from my prayers. She urged me not to cease praying for the souls in purgatory, and she added that she herself would not remain there much longer. How astounding are the decrees of God!
Special
Resolutions of the Retreat, May 1, 1933
241 Love of neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice in the success of others.
241 Love of neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice in the success of others.
245 My
Jesus, I will now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle
till the day on which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have
entrusted to me, Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that
Your grace can work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for
this immense confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care.
O you days of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for
each moment brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
253 +I must never judge anyone, but look at
others with leniency and at myself with severity. I must refer everything to
God and, in my own eyes, recognize myself for what I am: utter misery and
nothingness. In suffering, I must be patient and quiet, knowing that everything
passes in time.
254 +The
moments I lived through when I was taking my perpetual vows are better left
unsaid.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger, God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger, God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
267
Jesus told me that I please Him best by meditating on His sorrowful Passion,
and by such meditation much light falls upon my soul. He who wants to learn
true humility should reflect upon the Passion of Jesus. When I meditate upon
the Passion of Jesus, I get a clear understanding of many things I could not
comprehend before. I want to resemble You, O Jesus,-You crucified, tortured and
humiliated. Jesus, imprint upon my heart and soul Your own humility. I love
You, Jesus, to the point of madness, You who were crushed with suffering as
described by the prophet [cf. Isaiah 53:2-9], as if he could not see the human
form in You because of Your great suffering. It is in this condition, Jesus,
that I love You to the point of madness. O eternal and infinite God, what has
love done to You?...
268
October 11, 1933.-Thursday.-I tried to make a Holy Hour, but began it with
great difficulty. A certain yearning started to tear at my heart. My mind was
dimmed so that I could not understand the simplest forms of prayer. And so
passed by an hour of prayer, or rather of struggle. I resolved to pray for a
second hour, but my inner sufferings increased-great dryness and
discouragement. I resolved to pray for a third hour. In the third hour, which I
resolved to spend kneeling without any support, my body started to clamor for
rest. But I in no way relented. I stretched out my arms and, though I spoke no
words, I persisted by sheer will. After a while, I took the ring off my finger
and asked Jesus to look at the ring, that sign of our eternal union, and I
offered Jesus the feelings I had had on the day of perpetual vows. After a
while, I feel my heart inundated with a wave of love. A sudden recollection of
spirit, the senses quiet down, and God's presence pervades my soul. I know only
this: that it is Jesus and I. I saw Him just as He had appeared to me in that
instant after my perpetual vows, when I was likewise making a Holy Hour. Jesus
was suddenly standing before me, stripped of His clothes, His body completely
covered with wounds, His eyes flooded with tears and blood, His face disfigured
and covered with spittle. The Lord then said to me, The bride must resemble
her Betrothed. I understood these words to their very depth. There is no
room for doubt here. My likeness to Jesus must be through suffering and
humility. See what love of human souls has done to Me. My daughter, in your
heart I find everything that so great a number of souls refuses Me. Your heart
is My repose. I often wait with great graces until towards the end of prayer.
276 From
the moment I came to love suffering, it ceased to be a suffering for me.
Suffering is the daily food of my soul.
277 I
will not speak with a certain person, because I know that Jesus does not like
it and that she does not profit by it.
278 At
the feet of the Lord. Hidden Jesus, Eternal Love, our Source of Life, Divine
Madman, in that You forget yourself and see only us. Before creating heaven and
earth, You carried us in the depths of Your Heart. O Love, O depth of Your
abasement, O mystery of happiness, why do so few people know You? Why is Your
love not returned? O Divine Love, why do You hide Your beauty? O Infinite One
beyond all understanding, the more I know You the less I comprehend You; but
because I cannot comprehend You, I better comprehend Your greatness. I do not envy
the Seraphim their fire, for I have a greater gift deposited in my heart. They
admire You in rapture, but Your Blood mingles with mine. Love is heaven given
us already here on earth. Oh, why do You hide in faith? Love tears away the
veil. There is no veil before the eye of my soul, for You yourself have drawn
me into the bosom of secret love forever. Praise and glory be to You, O
Indivisible Trinity, One God, unto ages of ages!
279 God
made known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in
practice, to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out
God's will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the
least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child,
you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental
sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the
fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach
yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter, I want
to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished,
untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My daughter, the purer
your love for Me will be.
281 I
feel certain that my mission will not come to an end upon my death, but will
begin. O doubting souls, I will draw aside for you the veils of heaven to
convince you of God's goodness, so that you will no longer continue to wound
with your distrust the sweetest Heart of Jesus. God is Love and Mercy.
282 Once
the Lord said to me, My Heart was moved by great mercy towards you, My
dearest child, when I saw you torn to shreds because of the great pain you
suffered in repenting for your sins. I see your love, so pure and true that I
give you first place among the virgins. You are the honor and glory of My
Passion. I see every abasement of your soul, and nothing escapes my attention.
I lift up the humble even to my very throne, because I want it so.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
285
1934. Once, when I returned to my cell, I was so tired that I had to rest a
moment before I started to undress, and when I was already undressed, one of
the sisters asked me to fetch her some hot water. Although I was tired, I
dressed quickly and brought her the water she wanted, even though it was quite
a long walk from the cell to the kitchen, and the mud was ankle-deep. When I
re-entered my cell, I saw the ciborium with the Blessed Sacrament, and I heard
this voice, Take this ciborium and bring it to the tabernacle. I
hesitated at first, but when I approached and touched it, I heard these words,
Approach each of the sisters with the same love with which you approach Me; and
whatever you do for them, you do it for Me. A moment later, I saw that I
was alone.
288
+Once when I was having a long talk with Jesus about our students, encouraged
by His kindness, I asked Him, "Do You have among our students any who are
a comfort to Your Heart?" The Lord answered [that] He has, but their
love is weak, and so I put them in your special care-pray for them.
O great God, I admire Your goodness! You are the Lord of heavenly hosts, and yet You stoop so low to Your miserable creatures. Oh, how ardently I desire to love You with every beat of my heart! The whole extent of the earth is not enough for me, heaven is too small, and boundless space is nothing; You alone are enough for me, Eternal God! You alone can fill the depths of my soul.
O great God, I admire Your goodness! You are the Lord of heavenly hosts, and yet You stoop so low to Your miserable creatures. Oh, how ardently I desire to love You with every beat of my heart! The whole extent of the earth is not enough for me, heaven is too small, and boundless space is nothing; You alone are enough for me, Eternal God! You alone can fill the depths of my soul.
289 My
happiest moments are when I am alone with my Lord. During these moments I
experience the greatness of God and my own misery.
Once, Jesus said to me, Do not be surprised that you are sometimes unjustly accused. I myself first drank this cup of undeserved suffering for love of you.
Once, Jesus said to me, Do not be surprised that you are sometimes unjustly accused. I myself first drank this cup of undeserved suffering for love of you.
293
+When Jesus ravished me by His beauty and drew me to Himself, I then saw what
in my soul was displeasing to Him and made up my mind to remove it, cost what
it may; and aided by the grace of God I did remove it at once. This magnanimity
pleased the Lord, and from that moment God started granting me higher graces.
In my interior life I never reason; I do not analyze the ways in which God's
Spirit leads me. It is enough for me to know that I am loved and that I love.
Pure love enables me to know God and understand many mysteries. My confessor is
an oracle for me. His word is sacred to me-I am speaking about the spiritual
director [Father Sopocko].
294
+Once the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away when he
gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You
too should not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater
graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the
more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you
will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces not
only for yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the souls with whom
you come in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls
who have complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for them.
296 +O
Supreme Good, I want to love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before!
I want to adore You with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to
Your holy will. My life is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a
garden of fragrant flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first,
the lily of suffering or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of
humility. I will not enumerate these treasures in which my every day abounds.
It is a great thing to know how to make use of the present moment.
302 +O
Eternal Love, I want all the souls You have created to come to know You. I
would like to be a priest, for then I would speak without cease about Your
mercy to sinful souls drowned in despair. I would like to be a missionary and
carry the light of faith to savage nations in order to make You known to souls,
and to be completely consumed for them and to die a martyr's death, just as You
died for them and for me. O Jesus, I know only too well that I can be a priest,
a missionary, a preacher, and that I can die a martyr's death by completely
emptying myself and denying myself for love of You, O Jesus, and of immortal
souls.
303
Great love can change small things into great ones, and it is only love which
lends value to our actions. And the purer our love becomes, the less there will
be within us for the flames of suffering to feed upon, and the suffering will
cease to be a suffering for us; it will become a delight! By the grace of God,
I have received such a disposition of heart that I am never so happy as when I
suffer for Jesus, whom I love with every beat of my heart.
Once when I was suffering greatly, I left my work and escaped to Jesus and asked Him to give me His strength. After a very short prayer I returned to my work filled with enthusiasm and joy. Then, one of the sisters [probably Sister Justine] said to me, "You must have many consolations today, Sister; you look so radiant. Surely, God is giving you no suffering, but only consolations." "You are greatly mistaken, Sister," I answered, "for it is precisely when I suffer much that my joy is greater; and when I suffer less, my joy also is less." However, that soul was letting me recognize that she does not understand what I was saying. I tried to explain to her that when we suffer much we have a great chance to show God that we love Him; but when we suffer little we have less occasion to show God our love; and when we do not suffer at all, our love is then neither great nor pure. By the grace of God, we can attain a point where suffering will become a delight to us, for love can work such things in pure souls.
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus!
305 It is my greatest desire that souls should recognize You as their eternal happiness, that they should come to believe in Your goodness and glorify Your infinite mercy.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
Once when I was suffering greatly, I left my work and escaped to Jesus and asked Him to give me His strength. After a very short prayer I returned to my work filled with enthusiasm and joy. Then, one of the sisters [probably Sister Justine] said to me, "You must have many consolations today, Sister; you look so radiant. Surely, God is giving you no suffering, but only consolations." "You are greatly mistaken, Sister," I answered, "for it is precisely when I suffer much that my joy is greater; and when I suffer less, my joy also is less." However, that soul was letting me recognize that she does not understand what I was saying. I tried to explain to her that when we suffer much we have a great chance to show God that we love Him; but when we suffer little we have less occasion to show God our love; and when we do not suffer at all, our love is then neither great nor pure. By the grace of God, we can attain a point where suffering will become a delight to us, for love can work such things in pure souls.
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus!
305 It is my greatest desire that souls should recognize You as their eternal happiness, that they should come to believe in Your goodness and glorify Your infinite mercy.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
343 True
love is measured by the thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the
little daily crosses, for opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of
communal life, for the misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at
the hands of others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false
suspicions, for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to
myself, for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my
plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
367 +On
one occasion, Jesus gave me to know that when I pray for intentions which
people are wont to entrust to me, He is always ready to grant His graces, but
souls do not always want to accept them: My Heart overflows with great mercy
for souls, and especially for poor sinners. If only they could understand that
I am the best of Fathers to them and that it is for them that the Blood and
Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I
dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy. I desire to bestow My graces upon
souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often
as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you
will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so
many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness
of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no
time to come to Me for graces.
So I turn to you, you-chosen souls, will you also fail to understand the love of My Heart? Here, too, My Heart finds disappointment; I do not find complete surrender to My love. So many reservations, so much distrust, so much caution. To comfort you, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell In their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to Angels and men. Their number is very small. They are a defense for the world before the justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence. The infidelity of a soul specially chosen by Me wounds My Heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.
So I turn to you, you-chosen souls, will you also fail to understand the love of My Heart? Here, too, My Heart finds disappointment; I do not find complete surrender to My love. So many reservations, so much distrust, so much caution. To comfort you, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell In their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to Angels and men. Their number is very small. They are a defense for the world before the justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence. The infidelity of a soul specially chosen by Me wounds My Heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.
371
Jesus, King of Mercy, again the time has come when I am alone with You.
Therefore I beg You, by all the love with which Your Heart burns, to destroy
completely within me my self-love and, on the other hand, to enkindle in my
heart the fire of Your purest love.
372 In
the evening, after the conference, I heard these words: I am with you.
During this retreat, I will strengthen you in peace and in courage so that your
strength will not fail in carrying out My designs. Therefore you will cancel
out your will absolutely in this retreat and, instead, My complete will shall
be accomplished in you. Know that it will cost you much, so write these words
on a clean sheet of paper: "From today on, my own will does not
exist," and then cross out the page. And on the other side write these
words: "From today on, I do the will of God everywhere, always, and in
everything." Be afraid of nothing; love will give you strength and make
the realization of this easy.
373 In
the fundamental meditation about the goal; that is, of choosing love: the soul
must love; it has need of loving. The soul must divert the stream of its love,
but not into the mud or into a vacuum, but into God. How I rejoice when I
reflect on this, for I feel clearly that He himself is in my heart. Just Jesus
alone! I love creatures insofar as they help me to become united with God. I
love all people because I see the image of God in them.
383 At
the beginning of the retreat, I saw, on the ceiling of the chapel, Jesus nailed
to the Cross. He was looking at the sisters with great love, but not at all of
them. There were three sisters at whom Jesus looked severely, for what reasons
I do not know. I only know what a terrible thing it is to meet with such a
look, which is the look of a severe Judge. That look was not directed at me,
and yet I was paralyzed with terror. I still tremble as I write these words. I
did not dare to say so much as a single word to Jesus. My physical strength
failed me, and I thought I would not live to the end of the conference. The
next day, I saw the same thing again, just as I had seen it the first time, and
this time I dared to speak these words: "Jesus, how great is Your
mercy!"
On the third day, that gaze of great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again repeated. I gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of neighbor, and I said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You yourself told me, I beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with kindness at these three sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with Your wisdom, I ask You for an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for my soul, and let Your severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus then said to me these words: My daughter, for the sake of your sincere and generous love, I grant them many graces although they are not asking Me for them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made to you. And at that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three sisters as well. My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
On the third day, that gaze of great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again repeated. I gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of neighbor, and I said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You yourself told me, I beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with kindness at these three sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with Your wisdom, I ask You for an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for my soul, and let Your severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus then said to me these words: My daughter, for the sake of your sincere and generous love, I grant them many graces although they are not asking Me for them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made to you. And at that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three sisters as well. My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
389 Love
must be reciprocal. If Jesus tasted the fullness of bitterness for me, then I,
His bride, will accept all bitterness as proof of my love for Him.
390 He who knows how to forgive prepares for himself many graces from God. As often as I look upon the cross, so often will I forgive with all my heart.
391 Through Holy Baptism, we entered into union with other souls. Death tightens the bonds of love. I ought always to be of help to others. If I am a good religious, I will be useful, not only to the Order, but to the whole Country as well.
392 The Lord God grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
390 He who knows how to forgive prepares for himself many graces from God. As often as I look upon the cross, so often will I forgive with all my heart.
391 Through Holy Baptism, we entered into union with other souls. Death tightens the bonds of love. I ought always to be of help to others. If I am a good religious, I will be useful, not only to the Order, but to the whole Country as well.
392 The Lord God grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
481
Almost every feast of the Church gives me a deeper knowledge of God and a
special grace. That is why I prepare myself for each feast and unite myself
closely with the spirit of the Church. What a joy it is to be a faithful child
of the Church! Oh, how much I love Holy Church and all those who live in it! I
look upon them as living members of Christ, who is their Head. I burn with love
with those who love; I suffer with those who suffer, I am consumed with sorrow
at the sight of those whoa are cold and ungrateful; and I then try to have such
a love for God that it will make amends for those who do not love Him, those
who feed their Savior with ingratitude at its worst.
890 Love
is a mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and
pleasing to God. The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she
knows no slavish compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of
soul, because the love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything
that surrounds her makes her know that only God himself is worthy of her love.
A soul in love with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same
dispositions as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with
great care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if, after some
time, something turns out to be less successful. She remains calm, because at
the time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it happens that
the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her, she
then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul understands that there
are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her will, she is always with
God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in battle; from afar it sees
where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle. She knows she is not alone-God
is her strength.
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at
the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in
honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how
very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered
all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She
clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to
me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the
Mother of God said, Everyone
who perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire
of purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by the following
virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor;
compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole Congregation
disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who
instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to my life, submitting
completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to please God
without obeying His holy will. My
daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes,
for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that you
distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the
will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God was
entering my soul.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-57-58, 241, 245, 253-254,
267-268)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-276-279, 281-283, 285,
288-289,)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-293-294, 296,302-306,
343, 367)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-371-373, 383, 389-392)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-890)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1244)
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