Getting to the Top
October 14, 2018. Sunday of the Twenty-Eight
Week of Ordinary Time
Father José LaBoy,
LC
Mark 10:17-30
As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to
him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do
to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is
good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you
shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false
testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’[a]” “Teacher,” he declared, “all
these I have kept since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him
and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and
give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great
wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples,
“How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The
disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard
it is[b] to enter the kingdom of God! It
is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is
rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man
this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Then
Peter spoke up, “We have left everything to follow you!”. “Truly I tell you,”
Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or
father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to
receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters,
mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come
eternal life.
Introductory
Prayer: Lord, You know what is
best for me, and that is why I believe in You. You are always faithful to Your
word and are more interested in my spiritual well-being than I am, and that is
why I trust in You. In spite of my sins, you always give me Your loving
forgiveness, and that is why I love You, Lord.
Petition: Lord, grant me a profound desire to reach
heaven as shown by my proper use of material things.
1. Entering the
Kingdom: We know from the
Gospels that Christ spends most of his public ministry preaching about the
Kingdom of heaven. God wants to be the King of our hearts. This is impossible
if we are attached to things. When Christ says that it will be hard for a rich
man to enter the Kingdom of heaven, he is speaking to every person. Christ is
saying that to be attached to material things means not having room for God.
It’s not a matter of riches. Just as a mountain climber doesn’t use heavy gear
or take a weighty rucksack, in our spiritual climbing of the mountain (which is
our intimate relationship with God), we need to be free of anything burdensome.
2. It Seems
Impossible: The reaction of the
disciples helps us to remember how easy it is for us to be attached to
ourselves, to things, to pleasures and to desires. To leave all of these in
order to get to heaven may seem impossible for us to do. In fact, it is. No one
can overcome these attachments without the help of God’s grace. That is why
Christ says, “For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are
possible.” God will take us to heaven if we let him. An overloaded boat will sink
not because it is incapable of floating, but because the weight is more than it
can carry. We can reach God when we empty ourselves and allow his grace fill
our hearts.
3. Having Nothing in
Order to Have It All: We
can usually give up something in order to receive something better. That is why
the apostle Peter, not really sure of what “the prize” of his following Christ
is, asks the Master, “What will there be for us?” The reward of our
renunciation is to be with Christ, forever sharing in his glory. The awesome
thing is that Christ tells us it’s not something we will receive in the future,
but something we can already begin to receive here on earth. St. John of the
Cross, who had a profound love for Christ, understood very well that “to come
to the possession you have not, you must go by a way in which you possess not”
( The Ascent of Mount Carmel , Book 1, Chapter 13).
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, thank You for
reminding me about what is necessary for me to do in order to reach heaven.
It’s so easy to get caught up with the things of this world and forget that
they are worthless when compared to heaven.
Resolution: I will offer up a concrete sacrifice: I will detach myself from
something I like and reflect on heaven while doing it.
Excerpts
from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
6 I am to write [3] down the encounters of my soul with You, O
God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I am to write about You, O
Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor soul. Your holy will is the life of
my soul. I have received this order through him who is for me Your
representative here on earth, who interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You
see how difficult it is for me to write, how unable I am to put down clearly
what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen write down that for which many a
time there are no words? But You give the order to write, O God; that is enough
for me.
36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I
stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His
Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five, those in His
hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete condition of my soul as
God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to God. I did not know
that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for. What a
moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked
me, Who are you? I answered, "I am Your servant, Lord." You
are guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself
immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which
do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory or for a short while on
earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want to
suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end of the
world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back
to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish
My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do
this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength
and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help
nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but
don't let this frighten you; I am with you.
64 When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who
had gone for her third
probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a
little longer than two months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene[34]], wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me permission to go,
together with another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk the paths," as
they say. I was delighted. Although it was not very far, it was Mother
Superior's wish that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said to me, I
want you to stay home. I answered, "Jesus, everything is ready for us
to leave tomorrow morning; what am I to do now?" The Lord answered, This
trip will be harmful to your soul. I replied to Jesus, "You can find a
way out. Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be done." At that
moment the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and
went to my cell.
Next morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was
filled with joy at the
prospect of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see
everything. But as for me, I was sure we would not go, even though there were
no obstacles so far.
We were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right after
the thanksgiving. But
during the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather
changed. Clouds covered the sky, and the rain came down in torrents. Everyone
was astounded at such a sudden change in the weather.
Mother Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you cannot go,
Sisters!" I answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that we
cannot go; it was God's will that we stay home." However, no one knew that
it was Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the whole day in
recollection and meditation, thanking the Lord for
having kept me home. That day, God granted me many heavenly consolations.
75 But these doubts always come from without, a fact which
inclined me to close myself up more and more within myself. When, during
confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my
soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at
peace with himself will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170 The first day of the retreat. I tried to be the first in
the chapel in the morning; before the meditation I had a bit of time for prayer
to the Holy Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of God to
obtain for me the grace of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of
faithfully carrying out God's will, whatever it might be. I began this retreat
with a very special kind of courage.
279 God made known to me what true
love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give proof of
it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's will. To show God
our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from our
love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me most by
suffering. In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do
not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your suffering to be
pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures,
but also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your
heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come
to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth, before
all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the
Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with
Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the
conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's
mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's
will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In
return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my communion
with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions,
penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine
justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make
amends to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against
all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion
forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the
strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this
act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself
have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
354 As I was talking to a certain
person[84] who was to paint the
image but, for certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice in my
soul: I want her to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no
matter how great, are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of
obedience; I am speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know
Your will in the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our
eyes from morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our
superiors through whom God speaks.
395 [February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my dying mother. When I learned that my mother was seriously
ill and near death, and that she had asked that I come home, as she wanted to
see me once more before dying, a host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As
a child who sincerely loves its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish.
But I left this to God and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no
heed to the ache in my heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name
day, February fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family
and granted me permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and
request of my dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary preparations
for the journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for
my seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of
the merits of her suffering.
435 As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I heard these
words: By your entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain mercy for
yourselves and for the world. I understood that I would not remain
in the Congregation in which I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was otherwise. But I
kept making excuses before God, telling Him that I was unable to carry
out this task. "Jesus, You know very well what I am" [I said],
and I started enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord, hiding behind them
so that He would agree that I was unable to carry out His plans. Then I heard
these words: Do not fear; I myself will make up for everything that
is lacking in you. But these words penetrated me to my depths and
made me even more aware of my misery, and I understood that the word of
the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the very depths. I understood
that God demands a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my incompetence
as an excuse.
439 Then came the moment to receive
Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great brightness. Then I
heard these words: We give Our blessing, and at that moment a bright ray
issued from that light and pierced my heart; an extraordinary fire was
enkindled in my soul-I thought I would die of joy and happiness. I felt the
separation of my spirit from my body. I felt totally immersed in God, I felt I
was snatched up by the Almighty, like a particle of dust, into unknown expanses.
444
The priest spoke these profound words to me, "There are three degrees in
the
accomplishment
of God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes
pertaining
to external observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior
inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul,
abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God does
with it as He pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands." And the
priest said that I was at the second degree in the accomplishment of God's will
and that I had not yet reached the third degree, but that I should strive to
attain it. These words pierced my soul. I see clearly that God often gives the
priest knowledge of what is going on in the depths of my soul. This does not
surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that He has such chosen persons.
477
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never
attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off everything that would like
to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words and quickly want to answer
back, without taking any regard as to whether it is God's will that we should
speak. A silent soul 14 strong; no adversities will harm it if it perseveres in
silence. The silent soul is capable of attaining the closest union with God. It
lives almost always under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God works in a
silent soul without hindrance.
478 O my Jesus, You know, You alone
know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my virginal love is
drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your divine Blood is
circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your most pure love has
entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I am aware did You are dwelling in
me, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, or ratherIam aware that it is
I who it living in You, O incomprehensible God! I am aware that I am dissolving
in You like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that You are within me and all about
me, that You are in all things that surround me, in all that happens to me. O
my God, I have come to know You within my heart, and I have loved You above all
things that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts have a mutual
understanding, and no one of humankind will comprehend this.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
506
"Do nothing without the consent of the superiors. One must think this
matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must be very careful about these
things because, in your present situation, Sister, the will of God is certain
and clear, for you are in fact bound to this Congregation by vows, and
perpetual vows at that; so there should be no doubt. What you are experiencing
interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings of a project. God can make some
alterations, but such things are very rare. Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until
you have received more precise knowledge. The works of God proceed slowly, but
if they are of Him, you will surely recognize them clearly. If they are not,
they will disappear; and you, by being obedient, will not go astray. Speak
frankly about everything to your confessor and obey him blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
518 + Before All Souls' Day, I went
to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was locked, I managed to open the gate a
bit and said, "If you need something, my dear little souls, I will be glad
to help you to the extent that the rule permits me." I then heard these
words, "Do the will of God; we are happy in the measure that we have
fulfilled God's will."
527
On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is
demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my soul
saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough
omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary
strength, and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's
will seemed as nothing to me.
585 January 8, 1936. When I went to
see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told him that Jesus was asking that I
pray for God's mercy upon the world and that there be a religious congregation
which would entreat the mercy of God for the world. I asked his permission for
all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me. The Arch bishop answered me in these
words: "As for prayer, I give my permission and even encourage you,
Sister, to pray as much as possible for the world and to beg God's mercy, as
mercy is what we all need; and I presume that your confessor certainly does not
forbid you to pray for this intention. But as regards this congregation, wait a
while, Sister, so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably. This
thing is good in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it
will be done, whether it be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it
be? There are so many different kinds of congregations; this one too will come
to be if God so wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all
things. Strive for a close union with God and do not lose heart." These
words filled me with great joy.
615 March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a
strange force and urge to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear
understanding of the things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to
say that I do not understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying,
because the Lord is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that
I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would
be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord
wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great number
of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to realize His
eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to resist God's
will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it persecution,
sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery, friendships,
adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing now or things
that will come in the future or even the hatred of hell-nothing will deter me
from doing the will of God.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
665 Father Andrasz told me to make a
novena for the intention of knowing better the will of God. I prayed ardently,
adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the end of the novena, I
received an inner light and the assurance that the Congregation will come into
being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the difficulties and adversities,
complete peace and strength entered my soul from on high. I understood that
nothing could resist or nullify the will of God. I understood that I must carry
out this will of God despite obstacles, persecution and sufferings of all
kinds, and despite natural repugnance and fear.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
667 July 14. I received a letter at
three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]]. O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer,
but I will keep silent and will not say anything about it to any creature,
because I know that no one will comfort me. You are everything to me, O God,
and Your holy will is my nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in
eternity.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
678 The essence of the virtues is the will of
God. He who does the will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all
the events and circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of
God. The holy will of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths
of my soul, I live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I
recognize inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments,
sufferings, persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than
popularity, praise and esteem by my own will.
713 October 11. This evening, as I
was writing about this great mercy of God and its great advantage to souls,
Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury. He seized the screen and
began to break and crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but I
immediately made the sign of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast
fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure
but only his anger. Satan's anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not
shattered or broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the wretch
will not touch me without God's willing it, but what is he up to? He is
beginning to attack me openly and with such great fury and hate, but he does
not disturb my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him
furious.
830
O Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my
will that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light
dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I
trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in
accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do
Your will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all things.
O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894 Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass,
but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my
confessor, [162] in agreement with the
doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister, that you should get
well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any kind. Be obedient,
Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that the confessor's words
were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss Holy Mass, during which
God had been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I
placed obedience above everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
924
Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the
bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of
self, and it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and that
is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
937 + I will say a word more about
my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few
priests who know how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it
can make constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul,
even of lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I
discovered a secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual
director, does not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And
when the soul notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert
itself and does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also
avoids the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little stones,
there rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the
soul notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise
neglects them and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse
still, will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going
forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation only
when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question
poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is
to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame should be put on the
imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the
choice of a director. ! The director could well have led the soul along the
road of God's will to sanctity.
938 The soul should have prayed
ardently and at greater length for a director and should have asked the Lord
himself to choose a spiritual director for it. What begins in God will be
godly, and what begins in a purely human manner will remain human. God is so
merciful that, in order to help a soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide
and will enlighten the soul concerning the one before whom it should uncover
the most hidden depths of its soul just as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus
himself. And when the soul considers and recognizes that God has been arranging
all this, it should pray fervently for the confessor that he might have the
divine light to know it well. And let it not change such a director except for
a serious reason. Just as it had prayed fervently and at great length in order
to learn God's will before choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently
and at great length to discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave
this director and choose another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he
should not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan
wants just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself
because then, without doubt, he will never attain it.
956 +
After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say, I
now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly Father's
special affection.
972
Today, the doctor decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God's will,
even though I did want to be back in the company of my sisters.
981
I understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have undergone
in submission to God's will in order to know it better have advanced me further
in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years now, I have been on
the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am bound by the vow of
obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And on the other hand, God
makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner torture is so great that
no one will either understand or imagine these spiritual sufferings. It seems
to me that it would be easier to give up my life than to go again and again
through one hour of such pain. I am not even going to write much about this
matter, because one cannot describe what it is like to know God's will directly
and at the same time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as expressed
indirectly through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has given me a
director; otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.
1004
O will of the Omnipotent God,
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
1088
Sudden return of health. After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on
Sunday, April 11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that
letter, but waited for a clear sign of God's will. However, my health got so
bad that I had to go to bed. The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to
me that, if this repeats a few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091
Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health. I
neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that I
am
enjoying
good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I asked for this
health as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek relief from my
suffering.
1101 In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My
daughter, know that I shall speak to you in a special way through this priest [Father
Plaza [191]] so that you may not yield to doubt
concerning My wishes. Already in the first meditation my soul was struck
by the following words of the priest: I must not oppose God's will and
God's designs, whatever they might be; and as soon as 1 am convinced of
the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I have the duty
of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever the will
of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out.
This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself on
my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants of
me, and what I ought to do.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's
wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can
do by itself. They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's graces.
Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything,
just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be
absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time,
the matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a little
bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me
keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her
Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother
of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with
the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of our
Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General
Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the
sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said,
Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will be
spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by
the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and
neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole Congregation
disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who
instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to my life, submitting
completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to please God
without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you
faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy
eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in
accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and
holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep
understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1276 September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a Holy
Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today, but God's will was otherwise. At eight
o'clock I was seized with such violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I
was convulsed with pain for three hours; that is, until eleven o'clock at
night. No medicine had any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up.
At times, the pains caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that
in this way I took part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He himself allowed
these sufferings in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in
the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three times
now. They always start at eight o'clock in the evening and last until eleven.
No medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes, they cease
by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel very
weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
1301
It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning this
whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's wishes,
although it was not until two years after the revelation that she became my
superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me when the
painting of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when some things
concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy cards are being
printed, again it is she who is going with me [to take care of] this matter.
God has ordained all this in a mysterious way, because this was begun in
Vilnius, and now God's will has so directed the circumstances that this matter
is being continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior is to God; I
see how God is directing everything and wants me to be under her protection
during these important times.... Thank You, Lord, for such superiors, who live
in the love and fear of God. That is why I pray for her most of all, because
she has put herself out the most for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy....
1389
O my Jesus, although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them
slowly, and this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my
Jesus, You give me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them to
other souls. Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment of
apparent absolute destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by anything,
will begin. Such is the will of God in this, and it will not change; although
many persons will oppose it, nothing will change God's will.
1431
Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of the
frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times, as
always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there draw
strength to accept God's will. That which I have written is not yet everything.
1521
The Lord said to me, My daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My mercy. In
this way you will refresh this Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity
for sinners. Tell My priests that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their
words when they speak about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have
for them in My Heart. To priests who proclaim and extol My mercy, I will give
wondrous power; I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom
they will speak.
1525
One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me that
she could no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please pray,
Sister." I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The Divine Mercy.
I learned that God would give her the grace, but that she would once again be
dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on praying as she had asked
me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking for me, and when we again
began to talk about the same thing, I told her, "You know, Sister, when we
pray, we ought not force the Lord God to give us what we want, but we should
rather submit to His holy will." But she thought that what she was asking
for was indispensable. Towards the end of the novena, the sister came again and
said, "O Sister, the Lord Jesus has given me the grace, but now I am of a
different mind. Please pray so that things will somehow be different
again." I answered, "Yes, I will pray, but that God's will be done in
you, Sister, and not what you want."
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 36, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354, 395,
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-435, 439, 444, 477-478, 497)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-506, 515, 518)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 665-667, 678, 713, 830)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-894, 924, 937-938, 956, 972, 981)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276, 1301)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1521, 1525)
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