Jesus is the Bread of Life
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December 5, 2018. Wednesday of the First Week
of Advent
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Father John Doyle, LC
Matthew
15:29-37
At that time: Jesus walked by the Sea of
Galilee, went up on the mountain, and sat down there. Great crowds came to
him, having with them the lame, the blind, the deformed, the mute, and many
others. They placed them at his feet, and he cured them. The crowds were
amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the deformed made whole, the lame
walking, and the blind able to see, and they glorified the God of Israel.
Jesus summoned his disciples and said, “My heart is moved with pity for the
crowd, for they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.
I do not want to send them away hungry, for fear they may collapse on the way.”
The disciples said to him, “Where could we ever get enough bread in this
deserted place to satisfy such a crowd?” Jesus said to them, “How many loaves
do you have?” “Seven,” they replied, “and a few fish.” He ordered the crowd
to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, gave
thanks, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave
them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied. They picked up the
fragments left over–seven baskets full.
Introductory Prayer: Lord Jesus, I now turn confidently to You, who are my friend
and savior. You are always watching over me and protecting me, whether I’m
mindful of You or not. Thank You. I love You, and I’m grateful for these
moments to refresh myself in Your presence.
Petition: My Jesus, give me an unshakeable confidence in Your
unconditional love.
1. Jesus on the Mountain: Jesus is the focal point of history and of
all human aspirations. Even when he goes to out-of-the-way places, as is the
case in this Gospel passage, he is sought after. He strides by the Sea of
Galilee and scales up the mountain, and all humanity seeks him out. He
doesn’t interrogate them about their past or condemn them for their sins. He
simply gives to each what he or she needs: to the blind, sight; to the mute,
the gift of speech; to the deaf, hearing. Imagine for a moment this poor mass
of humanity around the Master. Place yourself with them. Your turn comes, and
suddenly it is as if the crowd disappears and you are alone with Jesus. He
looks into your eyes with loving concern and asks what you are seeking––even
though he already knows it. My Jesus, it is you that I seek. Heal me, and do
not let any sin separate me from you today.
2. “They Have Nothing to Eat.” Love is not always very practical. Jesus’
heart is moved with compassion for all those who have sought him out. He
knows the sacrifices that they have made in searching him out, and he is not
going to leave them disappointed. The disciples saw only the practical
problem, but in his charity towards his neighbor, Jesus all but ignores it.
What can I learn from Christ’s attitude? Will I ever be let down or not be
satisfied if I seek Christ with a sincere heart?
3. The Bread of Life: The miracle that Jesus works in multiplying
the loaves is a prelude to an even greater miracle he plans to bring about.
Jesus knows the longings of our hearts, and he knows that material food has
its limits, even when it is abundant. St Augustine states, “You made us for
yourself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” How
can I not trust that Jesus will always provide for what I truly need, after
his lowering himself to appear as bread so that we can feed on him and be
satisfied?
Conversation with Christ: My Jesus, I have a very wayward heart. I
know that You are the only one who can fulfill the longing of my soul; yet so
often I put my confidence in the fleeting things of this world instead.
Reassure my heart that You will always provide for me if I put all my trust
in You. Keep me going up the mountain towards Your heavenly Kingdom, where
You will be all in all.
Resolution: I will pause sometime during the
day––perhaps before lunch––and make a spiritual communion by inviting Christ
into my heart. I will thank him for the gift of himself in the blessed
Eucharist and renew my confidence in him.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
13 The priest was surprised at first, but told
me to have strong confidence that God would provide for my future. “For the
time being,” he said, “I shall send you to a pious lady [Aldona Lipszycowa[4]] with whom you will stay until you enter a convent.” When I
called on this lady, she received me very kindly. During the time I stayed
with her, I was looking for a convent, but at whatever convent door I
knocked, I was turned away. Sorrow gripped my heart, and I said to the Lord
Jesus, “Help me; don’t leave me alone.” At last I knocked on our door. [5]
24 One day, just as I had
awakened, when I was putting myself in the presence of God, I was suddenly
overwhelmed by despair. Complete darkness in the soul. I fought as best I
could till noon. In the afternoon, truly deadly fears began to seize me; my
physical strength began to leave me. I went quickly to my cell, fell on my
knees before the Crucifix and began to cry out for mercy. But Jesus did not
hear my cries. I felt my physical strength leave me completely. I fell to the
ground, despair flooding my whole soul. I suffered terrible tortures in no
way different from the torments of hell. I was in this state for three
quarters of an hour. I wanted to go and see the Directress, but was too weak.
I wanted to shout but I had no voice. Fortunately, one of the sisters
[another novice, Sister Placida Putyra] came into my cell. Finding me in such
a strange condition, she immediately told the Directress about it. Mother
came at once. As soon as she entered the cell she said, "In the name of
holy obedience [16]
get up from the ground." Immediately some force raised me up from the
ground and I stood up, close to the dear Mother Directress. With kindly words
she began to explain to me that this was a trial sent to me by God, saying,
"Have great confidence; God is always our Father, even when He sends us
trials."
I returned to my duties as if I had come out from the tomb, my senses saturated with what my soul had experienced. During the evening service, my soul began to agonize again in a terrible darkness. I felt that I was in the power of the Just God, and that I was the object of His indignation. During these terrible moments I said to God, "Jesus, who in the Gospel compare Yourself to a most tender mother," I trust in Your words because You are Truth and Life. In spite of everything, Jesus, I trust in You in the face of every interior sentiment which sets itself against hope. Do what You want with me; I will never leave You, because You are the source of my life." Only one who has lived through similar moments can understand how terrible is this torment of the soul.
54 +One day, tired out with all these uncertainties, I
asked Jesus, "Jesus, are You my God or some kind of phantom? Because my
Superiors say that there are all sorts of illusions and phantoms. If You are
my Lord, I beg You to bless me." Then Jesus made a big sign of the cross
over me and I, too, signed myself. When I asked pardon of Jesus for this
question, He replied that I had in no way displeased Him by this question and
that my confidence pleased Him very much.
91 O my Jesus, You alone know what persecutions I suffer,
and this only because I am being faithful to You and following Your orders.
You are my strength; sustain me that I may always carry out what You ask of
me. Of myself I can do nothing, but when You sustain me, all difficulties are
nothing for me. O my Lord, I can see very well that from the time when my
soul first received the capacity to know You, my life has been a continual
struggle which has become increasingly intense.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist.
195 O Jesus, today my soul is as though darkened by
suffering. Not a single ray of light. The storm is raging, and Jesus is
asleep. O my Master, I will not wake You; I will not interrupt Your sweet
sleep. I believe that You fortify me without my knowing it.
Throughout the long hours I adore You, O living Bread, amidst the great drought in my soul. O Jesus, pure Love, I do not need consolations; I am nourished by Your will, O Mighty One! Your will is the goal of my existence. It seems to me that the whole world serves me and depends on me. You, O Lord, understand my soul with all its aspirations. Jesus, when I myself cannot sing You the hymn of love, I admire the singing of the Seraphim, they who are so dearly loved by You. I desire to drown myself in You as they do. Nothing will stem such love, for no might has power over it. It is like lightning that illuminates the darkness, but does not remain in it. O my Master, shape my soul according to Your will and Your eternal designs!
210 I fervently beg the Lord to strengthen my faith, so that in my
drab, everyday life I will not be guided by human dispositions, but by those
of the spirit. Oh, how everything drags man towards the earth! But lively
faith maintains the soul in the higher regions and assigns self-love its
proper place; that is to say, the lowest one.
742 My daughter, if I demand
through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to
distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds
of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to
your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to
excuse or absolve yourself from it.
I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.
743 Two general resolutions:
First: To strive after inner silence and to observe the rule of silence strictly. Second: Faithfulness to interior inspirations; to bring them into my life and actions according to the advice of my spiritual director. In this present illness, I desire to glorify the will of God. I will try, as far as I am able, to take part in all the community exercises. I will give the Lord God fervent thanks for every sorrow and suffering.
763 November 22, [1936]. Today
during confession, the Lord Jesus spoke to me through the lips of a certain
priest. This priest did not know my soul, and I only accused myself of my
sins; yet he spoke these words to me: "Accomplish faithfully everything
that Jesus asks of you, despite the difficulties. Know that, although people
may be angry with you, Jesus is not angry and never will be angry with you.
Pay no attention to human opinion." This instruction surprised me at
first; but I understood that the Lord was speaking through him without his
realizing it. O holy mystery, what great treasures are contained in you! O
holy faith, you are my guidepost!
814+ December 12, [1936]. Today, I
only received Holy Communion and stayed for a few moments of the Mass. All my
strength is in You, O Living Bread. It would be difficult for me to live
through the day if I did not receive Holy Communion. It is my shield; without
You, Jesus, I know not how to live.
877 + O Jesus concealed in the
Host, my sweet Master and faithful Friend, how happy my soul is to have such
a Friend who always keeps me company. I do not feel lonely even though I am
in isolation. Jesus-Host, we know each other-that is enough for me.
890 Love is a mystery that
transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God.
The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she knows no slavish
compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of soul, because the
love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything that surrounds her
makes her know that only God himself is worthy of her love. A soul in love
with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same dispositions
as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with great
care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if, after some time,
something turns out to be less successful. She remains calm, because at the
time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it happens that
the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her,
she then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul understands that
there are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her will, she is
always with God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in battle; from
afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle. She knows she
is not alone-God is her strength. .
898 O my Jesus, You are giving me
back my health and life; give me also strength for battle, because I am
unable to do anything without You. Give me strength, for You can do all
things. You see that I am a frail child, and what can I do? I know the full
power of Your mercy, and I trust that You will give me everything Your feeble
child needs. .
899 I have desired death so much! I do not know whether I shall ever again in my life experience such great longing for God. There have been times when I fell into a swoon for Him. Oh, how ugly the earth when one knows heaven! I must do violence to myself in order to live. O will of God, you are my nourishment. . 900 Oh, how drab and full of misunderstandings is this life! My patience is exercised, and after it comes experience. I understand and learn many things each day and see that I know very little, and I am constantly discovering faults in my conduct. Still, I am not discouraged by this, but thank God that He deigns to grant me His light that I may know myself. .
1074 When I went for adoration, I
heard these words: My beloved daughter, write down these words, that today
My Heart has rested in this convent [the Cracow house]. Tell the world
about My mercy and My love.
The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them! My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it -with peace. Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.
1484 O Living Host, support me in
this exile, that I may be empowered to walk faithfully in the footsteps of
the Savior. I do not ask, Lord, that You take me down from the cross, but I
implore You to give me the strength to remain steadfast upon it. I want to be
stretched out upon the cross as You were, Jesus. I want all the tortures and
pains that You suffered. I want to drink the cup of bitterness to the dregs.
.
1521 The Lord said to me, My
daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My mercy. In this way you will refresh this
Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners. Tell My priests
that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words when they speak
about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have for them in My
Heart. To priests who proclaim and extol My mercy, I will give wondrous
power; I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom they
will speak.
1523 Everlasting love, pure flame,
burn in my heart ceaselessly and deify my whole being, according to Your
infinite pleasure by which You summoned me into existence and called me to
take part in Your everlasting happiness. O merciful Lord, it is only out of
mercy that You have lavished these gifts upon me. Seeing all these free gifts
within me, with deep humility I worship Your incomprehensible goodness. Lord,
my heart is filled with amazement that You, absolute Lord, in need of no one,
would nevertheless stoop so low out of pure love for us. I can never help
being amazed that the Lord would have such an intimate relationship with His
creatures. That again is His unfathomable goodness. Every time I begin this
meditation, I never finish it, because my spirit becomes entirely drowned in
Him. What a delight it is to love with all the force of one's soul and to be
loved even more in return, to feel and experience this with the full
consciousness of one's being. There are no words to express this.
1540 January 28, 1938. Today the
Lord said to me, My daughter, write down these words: All those souls who
will glorify My mercy and spread its worship, encouraging others to trust in
My mercy, will not experience terror at the hour of death. My mercy will
shield them in that final battle...
1549 I want to live in the spirit
of faith. I accept everything that comes my way as given me by the loving
will of God, who sincerely desires my happiness. And so I will accept with
submission and gratitude everything that God sends me. I will pay no
attention to the voice of nature and to the promptings of self-love. Before
each important action, I will stop to consider for a moment what relationship
it has to eternal life and what may be the main reason for my undertaking it:
is it for the glory of God, or for the good of my own soul, or for the good
of the souls of others? If my heart says yes, then I will not swerve from
carrying out the given action, unmindful of either obstacles or sacrifices. I
will not be frightened into abandoning my intention. It is enough for me to
know that it is pleasing to God. On the other hand, if I learn that the action
has nothing in common with what I have just mentioned, I will try to elevate
it to a loftier sphere by means of a good intention. And if I learn that
something flows from my self-love, I will cancel it out right from the start.
1553 O my Jesus, Life of my soul,
my Life, my Savior, my sweetest Bridegroom, and at the same time my Judge,
You know that in this last hour of mine I do not count on any merits of my
own, but only on Your mercy. Even as of today, I immerse myself totally in
the abyss of Your mercy, which is always open to every soul.
O my Jesus, I have only one task to carry out in my lifetime, in death, and throughout eternity, and that is to adore Your incomprehensible mercy. No mind, either of angel or of man, will ever fathom the mysteries of Your mercy, O God. The angels are lost in amazement before the mystery of divine mercy, but cannot comprehend it. Everything that has come from the Creator's hand is contained in this inconceivable mystery; that is to say, in the very depths of His tender mercy. When I meditate on this, my spirit swoons, and my heart dissolves in joy. O Jesus, it is through Your most compassionate Heart, as through a crystal, that the rays of divine mercy have come to us.
1557 O Jesus, keep me in holy
fear, so that I may not waste graces. Help me to be faithful to the
inspirations of the Holy Spirit. Grant that my heart may burst for love of
You, rather than I should neglect even one act of love for You.
1559 At that moment I saw Jesus,
and from His Heart there issued those same two rays, which enveloped me,
whole and entire. At the same moment, all my torments vanished. My
daughter, the Lord said, know that of yourself you are just what you
have gone through, and it is only by My grace that you are a participant of
eternal life and all the gifts I lavish on you. And with these words of
the Lord, there came to me a true knowledge of myself. Jesus is giving me a
lesson in deep humility and, at the same time, one of total trust in Him. My
heart is reduced to dust and ashes, and even if all people were to trample me
under their feet, I would still consider that a favor.
I feel and am, in fact, very deeply permeated with the knowledge that I am nothing, so that real humiliations will be a refreshment for me.
1570 O Greatly Merciful God,
Infinite Goodness, today all mankind calls out from the abyss of its misery
to Your mercy-to Your compassion, O God; and it is with its mighty voice of
misery that it cries out. Gracious God, do not reject the prayer of this
earth's exiles! O Lord, Goodness beyond our understanding, Who are acquainted
with our misery through and through, and know that by our own power we cannot
ascend to You, we implore You: anticipate us with Your grace and keep on
increasing Your mercy in us, that we may faithfully do Your holy will all
through our life and at death's hour. Let the omnipotence of Your mercy
shield us from the darts of our salvation's enemies, that we may with
confidence, as Your children, await Your final coming-that day known to You
alone. And we expect to obtain everything promised us by Jesus in spite of
all our wretchedness. For Jesus is our Hope: Through His merciful Heart, as
through an open gate, we pass through to heaven.
1575 +
Hail to You, Eternal Love, my Sweet Jesus, who have condescended to dwell in
my heart! I salute You, O glorious Godhead who have deigned to stoop to me,
and out of love for me have so emptied Yourself as to assume the
insignificant form of bread. I salute You, Jesus, never-fading flower of
humanity. You are all there is for my soul. Your love is purer than a lily,
and Your presence is more pleasing to me than the fragrance of a hyacinth.
Your friendship is more tender and subtle than the scent of a rose, and yet
it is stronger than death. O Jesus, incomprehensible beauty, it is with pure
souls that You communicate best, because they alone are capable of heroism
and sacrifice. O sweet, rose-red blood of Jesus, ennoble my blood and change
it into Your own blood, and let this be done to me according to Your good pleasure.
Conference on Spiritual Warfare.
1760 My daughter, I want to teach you about spiritual warfare. Never trust in yourself, but abandon yourself totally to My will. In desolation, darkness and various doubts, have recourse to Me and to your spiritual director. He will always answer you in My name. Do not bargain with any temptation; lock yourself immediately in My Heart and, at the first opportunity, reveal the temptation to the confessor. Put your self-love in the last place, so that it does not taint your deeds. Bear with yourself with great patience. Do not neglect interior mortifications. Always justify to yourself the opinions of your superiors and of your confessor. Shun murmurers like a plague. Let all act as they like; you are to act as I want you to. Observe the rule as faithfully as you can. If someone causes you trouble, think what good you can do for the person who caused you to suffer. Do not pour out your feelings. Be silent when you are rebuked. Do not ask everyone's opinion, but only the opinion of your confessor; be as frank and simple as a child with him. Do not become discouraged by ingratitude. Do not examine with curiosity the roads down which I lead you. When boredom and discouragement beat against your heart, run away from yourself and hide in My heart. Do not fear struggle; courage itself often intimidates temptations, and they dare not attack us. Always fight with the deep conviction that I am with you. Do not be guided by feeling, because it is not always under your control; but all merit lies in the will. Always depend upon your superiors, even in the smallest things. I will not delude you with prospects of peace and consolations; on the contrary, prepare for great battles. Know that you are now on a great stage where all heaven and earth are watching you. Fight like a knight, so that I can reward you. Do not be unduly fearful, because you are not alone.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-13, 24, 54, 91, 195, 210)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-742-743, 763, 814, 877, 890, 898-900)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1074)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1484, 1521, 1523, 1540, 1549, 1553)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1559, 1570, 1575)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1760)
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