Can Christ Count on
Me?
February 21, 2019. Thursday
of the Sixth Week in Ordinary Time
Mark 8:27-33
Jesus went on with his
disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi; and on the way he asked his
disciples, "Who do people say that I am?" And they answered him,
"John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; and still others, one of the
prophets." He asked them, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter
answered him, "You are the Messiah." And he sternly ordered them not
to tell anyone about him. Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must
undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and
the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. He said all this
quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and
looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, "Get behind me,
Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human
things."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, reveal to me the awesome mystery of Your person. In You is
hidden my beginning; in You is hidden the mission for my life; in You is hidden
my future happiness. Let me not measure the future by what I think I can do for
You, but rather by what Your power can do with my generosity. May this prayer
convince me of the necessity of welcoming You daily through prayer,
contemplation, and a sacramental life of grace and conversion.
Petition: Lord, grant me an experience of You strong enough to overcome
all spiritual laziness and tepidity.
1. Who Has Christ Been
for You? Our prayer must
lead us to respond to Christ’s question, “Who do you say that I am?” This is
the only test, the only examination question we need to pass in life. We must
reflect and respond to the question from this perspective: “Who has Christ been
for you?” This question does not so much define Christ, but the one who answers
it. What experiences have we had of him? What have we been learning about
Christ personally, through experiences that we cannot have known by solemn
definitions, by routine external piety or by what others say? Christ’s history
and our personal history must intertwine to become a single chapter which we
both share.
2. Who Have You Been
for Christ? If I have little
to say as far as my firsthand knowledge of Jesus, if my interior experiences
have been eclipsed by a mundane and materialistic spirit, I must take Christ’s
question to the next level: “Who have I been for Christ?” Who I have been for
Christ will be determined largely by who I have been for him in prayer. The
“inner Christ” is known only by those to whom it is revealed. It will not
happen by a merely flesh-and-blood approach, nor by just going with the flow of
human events. Peter’s interior life was fertile ground for the Father. His
testimony was not luck, but was a divine intervention in his soul from which
his faith drew its strength. “For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you,
but my Father in heaven” (Matthew 16:17). May I seek in a special way the grace
of greater sensitivity to let my interior life of prayer define me and shape my
character.
3. Can Christ Count on
Me? Poor Peter! In
one moment he is revealing the thoughts of the Father, in the next, Satan’s.
Peter’s living experience of Christ is the target of Satan’s attempts to break
his faith. Christ’s suffering will be the pledge that the faith of the apostle
will not fail: “I have prayed for you…” (Luke 22:32). Ultimately Christ’s
prayer would prevail: Peter is reborn on Pentecost, fearlessly accepting and
launching the mission of the Church. A strong interior foundation in Christ
ultimately leads to one last reality check of the spiritual life: Can Christ
build on me because I am built on him? Christ’s fidelity will uphold me if I
stay in the battle, if I hold firm and don’t let the reality of my falls keep
me from advancing. Satan cannot break my faith if I keep fighting, and for this
I always have to have new goals, to begin fresher, better and more generously
than before.
Conversation with
Christ: Lord, according to the riches of Your glory,
grant that I may be strengthened in my inner being with power through Your
Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. Being rooted and
grounded in love, I pray that I may have the power to comprehend, with all the
saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the
love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that I may be filled with all the
fullness of You. (Cf. Ephesians 3:16-20)
Resolution: I will spend some time before our Lord in the Eucharist today,
asking that he deepen my experience of him.
Excerpts
from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
6 I am to write [3] down
the encounters of my soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your special
visitations. I am to write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy towards my
poor soul. Your holy will is the life of my soul. I have received this order
through him who is for me Your representative here on earth, who interprets
Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for me to write, how
unable I am to put down clearly what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen
write down that for which many a time there are no words? But You give the
order to write, O God; that is enough for me.
36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat]
of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him
during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five,
those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete
condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will
have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before
the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me,Who are you? I answered,
"I am Your servant, Lord." You are guilty of one day of fire
in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of
purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for
one day in purgatory or for a short while on earth? I replied,
"Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want to suffer also the
greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end of the world."
Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go
back to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will
accomplish My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you
to do this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it
strength and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither relief
nor help nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to
suffer, but don't let this frighten you; I am with you.
64 When I came to
Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who had gone for her third
probation [Sister Peter,
who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a little longer than two months. One day,
the Mother Superior [Irene[34]], wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me
permission to go, together with another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk
the paths," as they say. I was delighted. Although it was not very far, it
was Mother Superior's wish that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said
to me, I want you to stay home. I answered, "Jesus,
everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow morning; what am I to do
now?" The Lord answered, This trip will be harmful to your
soul. I replied to Jesus, "You can find a way out. Arrange things
in such a way that Your will may be done." At that moment the bell
announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and went to my
cell.
Next morning the weather
was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at the
prospect of the great
pleasure we would have in getting to see everything. But as for me, I was sure
we would not go, even though there were no obstacles so far.
We were to receive Holy
Communion earlier and leave right after the thanksgiving. But
during the time of
Communion, all of a sudden, the weather changed. Clouds covered the sky, and
the rain came down in torrents. Everyone was astounded at such a sudden change
in the weather.
Mother Superior said to
me, "I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!" I answered, "Dear
Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it was God's will that we
stay home." However, no one knew that it was Jesus' express desire that I
stay home. I spent the whole day in recollection and meditation, thanking the
Lord for having kept me
home. That day, God granted me many heavenly consolations.
75 But these doubts
always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close myself up more and
more within myself. When, during confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of
the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my
sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself will not be able to inspire
peace in another soul.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170 The first day of the retreat. I tried to
be the first in the chapel in the morning; before the meditation I had a bit of
time for prayer to the Holy Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the
Mother of God to obtain for me the grace of fidelity to these inner
inspirations and of faithfully carrying out God's will, whatever it might be. I
began this retreat with a very special kind of courage.
279 God made known to
me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to
give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's will.
To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must
spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me
most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My
daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your
suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only
from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the
love of your heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more
you will come to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will
be.
God and Souls. An Act
of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and
earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary,
before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in
union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of
myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost
hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total
subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which
sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which my soul
receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them:
Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear
the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God,
in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust in
Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and
my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my
own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I
will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer
which You yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
354 As I was talking to a certain person[84] who
was to paint the image but, for certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard
this voice in my soul: I want her to be more obedient. I
understood that our efforts, no matter how great, are not pleasing to God if
they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am speaking about a religious soul. O
God, how easy it is to know Your will in the convent! We religious have God's
will set clearly before our eyes from morning till night, and in moments of
uncertainty we have our superiors through whom God speaks.
395 [February] 15, 1935.
A few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my dying mother.
When I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she
had asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a
host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves its
mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God and
resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in my heart,
I followed God's will. On the morning of my name day, February fifteen, Mother Superior
gave me a second letter from my family and granted me permission to go to my
parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of my dying mother. I began at
once to make the necessary preparations for the journey and left Vilnius in the
evening. I offered the whole night for my seriously ill mother, that God might
grant her the grace of losing none of the merits of her suffering.
435 As I was walking in
the garden in the evening, I heard these words: By your entreaties, you
and your companions shall obtain mercy for yourselves and for the world. I understood
that I would not remain in the Congregation in which I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was otherwise. But I
kept making excuses before God, telling Him that I was unable to
carry out this task. "Jesus, You know very well what I
am" [I said], and I started enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord, hiding
behindthem so that He would agree that I was unable to carry out His plans.
Then I heard these words: Do not fear; I myself will make
up for everything that is lacking in you. But these words
penetrated me to my depths and made me even more aware of my misery, and I
understood that the word of the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the
very depths. I understood that God demands a more perfect way of
life of me. However, I kept using my incompetence as an excuse.
439 Then came the
moment to receive Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great
brightness. Then I heard these words: We give Our blessing, and
at that moment a bright ray issued from that light and pierced my heart; an
extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I thought I would die of joy and
happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit from my body. I felt totally
immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty, like a particle of
dust, into unknown expanses.
444 The priest spoke
these profound words to me, "There are three degrees in the
accomplishment of
God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes
pertaining to external
observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior inspirations and
carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul, abandoned to the
will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God does with it as He pleases,
and it is a docile tool in His hands." And the priest said that I was at
the second degree in the accomplishment of God's will and that I had not yet
reached the third degree, but that I should strive to attain it. These words
pierced my soul. I see clearly that God often gives the priest knowledge of
what is going on in the depths of my soul. This does not surprise me at all;
indeed, I thank God that He has such chosen persons.
477 Silence is a sword
in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never attain sanctity. The
sword of silence will cut off everything that would like to cling to the soul.
We are sensitive to words and quickly want to answer back, without taking any
regard as to whether it is God's will that we should speak. A silent soul 14
strong; no adversities will harm it if it perseveres in silence. The silent
soul is capable of attaining the closest union with God. It lives almost always
under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God works in a silent soul without
hindrance.
478 O my Jesus, You
know, You alone know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my
virginal love is drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your
divine Blood is circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your
most pure love has entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I am aware did
You are dwelling in me, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, or
ratherIam aware that it is I who it living in You, O incomprehensible God! I am
aware that I am dissolving in You like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that You
are within me and all about me, that You are in all things that surround me, in
all that happens to me. O my God, I have come to know You within my heart, and
I have loved You above all things that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts
have a mutual understanding, and no one of humankind will comprehend this.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most
faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your
inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own,
though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will
of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will
permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
506 "Do nothing without the consent of
the superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray much. One
must be very careful about these things because, in your present situation,
Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact bound to this
Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there should be no doubt.
What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings of a
project. God can make some alterations, but such things are very rare. Don't be
in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more precise knowledge. The works
of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely recognize them
clearly. If they are not, they will disappear; and you, by being obedient, will
not go astray. Speak frankly about everything to your confessor and obey him
blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
518 + Before All Souls'
Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was locked, I managed to open
the gate a bit and said, "If you need something, my dear little souls, I
will be glad to help you to the extent that the rule permits me." I then
heard these words, "Do the will of God; we are happy in the measure that
we have fulfilled God's will."
527 On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to
work and fulfill whatever God is demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a
moment and heard a voice in my soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you
think that I will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At that
moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength, and all the adversities that could
befall me in carrying out God's will seemed as nothing to me.
585 January 8, 1936.
When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told him that Jesus was
asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that there be a religious
congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for the world. I asked his
permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me. The Arch bishop answered
me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my permission and even encourage
you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for the world and to beg God's mercy,
as mercy is what we all need; and I presume that your confessor certainly does
not forbid you to pray for this intention. But as regards this congregation,
wait a while, Sister, so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably.
This thing is good in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God's
will, it will be done, whether it be a little sooner or a little later. Why
shouldn't it be? There are so many different kinds of congregations; this one
too will come to be if God so wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can
do all things. Strive for a close union with God and do not lose heart."
These words filled me with great joy.
615 March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I
experienced a strange force and urge to start realizing God's wishes. I had
such a clear understanding of the things the Lord was asking of me that truly
if I were to say that I do not understand what God is demanding from me, I
would be lying, because the Lord is making His will known to me so clearly and
distinctly that I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I
realized that it would be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this
undertaking which the Lord wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the
benefit of a great number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool
through which to realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my
soul would be to resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer,
be it persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold,
flattery, friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am
experiencing now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of
hell-nothing will deter me from doing the will of God.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
665 Father Andrasz
told me to make a novena for the intention of knowing better the will of God. I
prayed ardently, adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the end of the
novena, I received an inner light and the assurance that the Congregation will
come into being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the difficulties and
adversities, complete peace and strength entered my soul from on high. I
understood that nothing could resist or nullify the will of God. I understood
that I must carry out this will of God despite obstacles, persecution and
sufferings of all kinds, and despite natural repugnance and fear.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
667 July 14. I
received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]].
O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say
anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort me.
You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I am
living now on what I will live on in eternity.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
678 The essence of the virtues is the will of
God. He who does the will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all
the events and circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of
God. The holy will of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths
of my soul, I live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I
recognize inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments,
sufferings, persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than
popularity, praise and esteem by my own will.
713 October 11. This
evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and its great advantage
to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury. He seized the
screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but
I immediately made the sign of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast
fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure
but only his anger. Satan's anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not
shattered or broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the wretch
will not touch me without God's willing it, but what is he up to? He is
beginning to attack me openly and with such great fury and hate, but he does
not disturb my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him furious.
830 O Light Eternal,
who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my will that I may not
give up in times of great affliction. May Your light dissipate all the shadows
of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I trust in You, O uncreated
Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in accomplishing Your Father's
will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do Your will." Grant that I
also may do God's will faithfully in all things. O Divine Infant, grant me this
grace!
894 Today the doctor
decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very
much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in
agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister,
that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any
kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that
the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss
Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant
Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
924 Today, I received
a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the bedside of the dying.
And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of self, and it will
support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and that is enough for me.
That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
937 + I will say a
word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]].
It is strange that there are so few priests who know how to pour power,
strength and courage into a soul so that it can make constant progress without
getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of lesser strength, can do
much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a secret; namely, that the
confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does not make light of the trifles
that the soul brings to him. And when the soul notices that it is being
controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and does not omit the slightest
opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids the smallest faults. And from
these efforts, as with little stones, there rises within the soul a most
beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul notices that the confessor
neglects these little things, it likewise neglects them and ceases to give an
account of them to the confessor and, worse still, will begin to grow negligent
in little things. Thus, instead of going forward, it gradually retreats
backward and becomes aware of the situation only when it has already fallen
into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses itself: who is at
fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is to say, the director? It
seems to me that all the blame should be put on the imprudent director; the
soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The
director could well have led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity.
938 The soul should
have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and should have asked
the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it. What begins in God will
be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner will remain human. God is so
merciful that, in order to help a soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide
and will enlighten the soul concerning the one before whom it should uncover
the most hidden depths of its soul just as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus
himself. And when the soul considers and recognizes that God has been arranging
all this, it should pray fervently for the confessor that he might have the
divine light to know it well. And let it not change such a director except for
a serious reason. Just as it had prayed fervently and at great length in order
to learn God's will before choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently
and at great length to discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave
this director and choose another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he
should not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan
wants just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself
because then, without doubt, he will never attain it.
956 + After these
words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say, I now see
everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and things,
pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly Father's special
affection.
972 Today, the doctor
decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God's will, even though I did
want to be back in the company of my sisters.
981 I understood that
these two years of interior suffering which I have undergone in submission to
God's will in order to know it better have advanced me further in perfection
than the previous ten years. For two years now, I have been on the cross
between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am bound by the vow of obedience
and must obey the superior as God himself. And on the other hand, God makes His
will known to me directly, and so my inner torture is so great that no one will
either understand or imagine these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it
would be easier to give up my life than to go again and again through one hour
of such pain. I am not even going to write much about this matter, because one
cannot describe what it is like to know God's will directly and at the same
time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly
through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has given me a director;
otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.
1004 O will of the Omnipotent God,
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
1088 Sudden return of
health. After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly
became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear sign
of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed. The
coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a few
more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091 Then I heard
these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health. I
neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that I
am
enjoying good health
at present. The future does not belong to me. I asked for this health as
evidence of God's will and not in order to seek relief from my suffering.
1101 In the evening, I
heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I shall speak to
you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza [191]] so that you may not yield to doubt concerning My
wishes. Already in the first meditation my soul was struck by
the following words of the priest: I must not oppose God's will and God's
designs, whatever they might be; and as soon as 1 am convinced of
the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I have the
duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever
the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out.
This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself on
my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants
of me, and what I ought to do.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark awareness
of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how
little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should appreciate
God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness
in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in
question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although,
from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully.
Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's
presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the
moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in honor
of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very
pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered all
the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She
clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to
me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the
Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My
Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one
distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity
and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the
whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the
Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to
my life, submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for
one to please God without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I
strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is
most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish
yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God
before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was
talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1276 September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to
make a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today, but God's will was
otherwise. At eight o'clock I was seized with such violent pains that I had to
go to bed at once. I was convulsed with pain for three hours; that is, until
eleven o'clock at night. No medicine had any effect on me, and whatever I
swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains caused me to lose consciousness.
Jesus had me realize that in this way I took part in His Agony in the Garden,
and that He himself allowed these sufferings in order to offer reparation to
God for the souls murdered in the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through
these sufferings three times now. They always start at eight o'clock in the
evening and last until eleven. No medicine can lessen these sufferings. When
eleven o'clock comes, they cease by themselves, and I fall asleep at that
moment. The following day, I feel very weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
1301 It is extraordinary
how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning this whole matter. She
was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's wishes, although it was not
until two years after the revelation that she became my superior. And despite
this fact, she was the first to go with me when the painting of the image was
first undertaken. And now again, when some things concerning the Divine Mercy
are being published, and small holy cards are being printed, again it is she
who is going with me [to take care of] this matter. God has ordained all this
in a mysterious way, because this was begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has
so directed the circumstances that this matter is being continued in Cracow. I
know how pleasing this superior is to God; I see how God is directing
everything and wants me to be under her protection during these important
times.... Thank You, Lord, for such superiors, who live in the love and fear of
God. That is why I pray for her most of all, because she has put herself out
the most for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy....
1389 O my Jesus,
although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them slowly, and
this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my Jesus, You give
me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them to other souls.
Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment of apparent absolute
destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by anything, will begin. Such
is the will of God in this, and it will not change; although many persons will
oppose it, nothing will change God's will.
1431 Nevertheless,
when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of the frequent
suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times, as always, I
hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there draw strength to
accept God's will. That which I have written is not yet everything.
1521 The Lord said to
me, My daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My mercy. In this way you
will refresh this Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners.
Tell My priests that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words when
they speak about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have for them in
My Heart. To priests who proclaim and extol My mercy, I will give wondrous
power; I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom they
will speak.
1525 One day, a certain sister came to me and
asked me for prayers, telling me that she could no longer stand things as they
were. "And so, please pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I
began a novena to The Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the
grace, but that she would once again be dissatisfied when she received it.
However, I kept on praying as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same
sister came looking for me, and when we again began to talk about the same
thing, I told her, "You know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the
Lord God to give us what we want, but we should rather submit to His holy
will." But she thought that what she was asking for was indispensable.
Towards the end of the novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister,
the Lord Jesus has given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please
pray so that things will somehow be different again." I answered,
"Yes, I will pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not
what you want."
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 36, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354, 395,
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-435, 439, 444, 477-478, 497)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-506, 515, 518)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 665-667, 678, 713, 830)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-894, 924, 937-938, 956, 972, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276, 1301)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1521, 1525)
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