The Price Is Right and the Choice Is Yours
|
March 4, 2019. Monday
of the Eighth Week in Ordinary Time
|
Mark
10: 17-27
As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man
ran up, knelt down before him, and asked him, "Good teacher, what must I
do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus answered him, "Why do you call
me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: You shall
not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not
bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honor your father and your
mother." He replied and said to him, "Teacher, all of these I have
observed from my youth." Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to
him, "You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to
the poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." At
that statement his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many
possessions. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it
is for those who have wealth to enter the Kingdom of God!" The disciples
were amazed at his words. So Jesus again said to them in reply,
"Children, how hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God! It is easier for
a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter
the kingdom of God." They were exceedingly astonished and said among
themselves, "Then who can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said,
"For human beings it is impossible, but not for God. All things are
possible for God."
Introductory Prayer: Once again, Lord, I come to You to pray.
Even though I cannot see You, I trust that You are present and want very much
to instruct me in Your teachings. In the same way You demonstrate Your love
for me by spending this time with me, I want to express my love for You by
dedicating this time to You with a spirit of faith, confidence and attention.
Here I am, Lord, to listen to You and respond with love.
Petition: Lord, help me to be detached from the goods of this world so I
can follow You more closely.
1. God Is Good: The rich young man recognized Christ’s
goodness. He kneels down before him knowing that Jesus possesses something
that he does not have. What is it? The spirit of unconditional love. Christ
leads us out of ourselves and asks us to trust him more. And so, Pope
Emeritus Benedict encourages us, “I say to you, dear young people: Do not be
afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we
give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open
wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life” (Homily, April 24,
2005).
2. Looking at the Good Side of Things: It is easy to dwell on the cost of
something. The young man’s face falls because he looks more at the cost than
at the reward. The price is something that he would feel now, while the
reward is something that will come later. How often in life do we experience
this truth! The world we live in seeks instant gratification without wanting
to pay the price. Rather than concentrating on the cost, we should focus on
the benefits promised by God. We will discover that the cost is small and the
benefits last forever. Do I have spiritual endurance? Am I am able to wait
for the Lord and patiently invest in eternal goods now?
3. Detachment: Saint Paul tells us that nothing can
outweigh the knowledge of Christ Jesus. But in this man’s case, he had
allowed something else to outweigh Christ. Comfort, security and material
things beat the invitation of Christ to be perfect. Attachments lead to
sadness; there is no room for God in a heart that is already full of the
things of this world. Only detachment leads to true joy. God gives himself to
the one who seeks him without any strings attached.
Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, help me to live a life of
freedom. Help me to recognize your goodness. May my faith always see the good
side of things, seeing all in my life as an opportunity to love You. I want
to be attached to You and detached completely from my sinfulness.
Resolution: I will pick one thing that I can detach
myself from today.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
55
1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from these interior inspirations,
but always tell everything to your confessor. If you recognize that these
interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is to say, they are for
the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l urge you to follow
them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in consultation with
your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit. Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity. Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone." Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you." Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others." On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now." Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
O Divine Sun, in Your rays the soul sees the tiniest
specks of dust which displease You.
72 O Jesus, eternal Truth, our Life, I call upon You and I beg Your mercy for poor sinners. O sweetest Heart of my Lord, full of pity and unfathomable mercy, I plead with You for poor sinners. O Most Sacred Heart, Fount of Mercy from which gush forth rays of inconceivable graces upon the entire human race, I beg of You light for poor sinners. O Jesus, be mindful of Your own bitter Passion and do not permit the loss of souls redeemed at so dear a price of Your most precious Blood. O Jesus, when I consider the great price of Your Blood, I rejoice at its immensity, for one drop alone would have been enough for the salvation of all sinners. Although sin is an abyss of wickedness and ingratitude, the price paid for us can never be equaled. Therefore, let every soul trust in the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone. Heaven and earth may change, but God's mercy will never be exhausted. Oh, what immense joy burns in my heart when I contemplate Your incomprehensible goodness, O Jesus! I desire to bring all sinners to Your feet that they may glorify Your mercy throughout endless ages.
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read. The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all. One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
92 Humiliation is my daily food. I
understand that the bride must herself share in everything that is the
groom's; and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those times when
I suffer much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at
such moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to help me
praise God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I
receive Jesus in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my
tongue so that I would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my
tongue to praise God without cease. Great are the faults committed by the
tongue. The soul will not attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its
tongue.
93 +A Short Version of the Catechism of the Vows[39]
Q. What is a vow? A. A vow is a voluntary promise made to God, to carry out a more perfect act. Q. Is a vow binding in a matter which is the object of a commandment? A. Yes. The carrying out of an act which is the object of a commandment has a double value and merit; and the neglect of such an act is a double transgression and evil, because by breaking such a vow we add to the sin against the commandment, the sin of sacrilege. Q. Why do religious vows have such value? A. Because they are the foundation of the religious life approved by the Church, in which the members bound together in a religious community undertake to strive always for perfection by means of the three religious vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, observed according to the rules. Q. What is the meaning of the words, "strive for perfection?" A. To strive for perfection means that the religious life does not in itself demand that perfection be already attained, but obliges, under the pain of sin, that we work daily to attain it. Therefore, a religious who does not want to become perfect neglects his principal duty of state. Q. What are "solemn" religious vows? A. " Solemn" religious vows are so absolute that, in extraordinary cases, only the Holy Father can dispense from them. Q. What are simple religious vows? A. These are vows which are less absolute - the Holy See dispenses from perpetual and annual vows. Q. What is the difference between a vow and a virtue? A. A vow pertains only to that which is commanded under pain of sin; the virtue goes beyond this and helps in the carrying out of the vow; on the other hand, by breaking the vow we fail in the virtue and do it damage. Q. To what do the religious vows oblige us? A. The religious vows oblige us to strive to acquire the virtues and to submit ourselves completely to our Superiors and to the Rules which are in force; thus the religious gives his own person to the Community, renouncing every right over himself and his actions, which he sacrifices to the service of God. The Vow of Poverty The vow of poverty is the voluntary renunciation of the right over property or to the use of such property with the purpose of pleasing God. Q. What objects does the vow of poverty concern? A. All those goods and those objects which appertain to the Community. We have no longer any right over anything that has been given to us, once it has been accepted, whether an article or money. All these donations and presents, which may have been given us out of gratitude or in any other way, belong by right to the Community. We cannot make use, without violating the vow, of any wages we may receive for work or even any annuity. Q. When do we break or violate the vow in a matter which entails the seventh commandment? A. We break or violate it when, without permission, we take for ourselves anything that belongs to the house; when, without permission, we retain something in order to appropriate it; and when, without authorization, we sell or exchange something that belongs to the Community. When we make use of an object for some other purpose than that intended by the Superior. When we give to, or accept from another, anything whatsoever without permission. When by negligence we destroy or damage something. When, in going from one house to another, we take something with us without permission. In a situation where the vow is broken, the religious is bound to restitution to the Community. The Virtue of Poverty This is an evangelical virtue which impels the heart to detach itself from temporal things; the religious, in virtue of his profession, is strictly obliged to it. Q. When do we sin against the virtue of poverty? When we desire something, contrary to this virtue. When we become attached to something, and when we make use of superfluous things. How many degrees of poverty are there and what are they? A. There are, in practice, four degrees of poverty for one who is a professed religious: to dispose of nothing without the consent of the Superiors (the strict matter of the vow); to avoid superfluities and be content with necessities (this pertains to the virtue); to readily content oneself with things of inferior quality in what concerns one's cell, clothing, nourishment, etc., and to experience this contentment interiorly; to rejoice in extreme poverty. The Vow of Chastity Q. To what does this vow oblige us? A. To renounce marriage and to avoid everything that is forbidden by the sixth and ninth commandments. Q. Is a fault against the virtue a violation of the vow? A. Every fault against the virtue is at the same time a violation of the vow, because here there is no difference, as in the case of poverty and obedience, between the vow and the virtue. Q. Is every bad thought a sin? A. No, every bad thought is not a sin; it becomes so only when the acquiescence of the will and consent are joined to the consideration of the mind. Q. Is there anything, over and above sins against chastity, which is detrimental to the virtue? A. Lack of custody of the senses, of the imagination, of the feelings; familiarity and sentimental friendships are detrimental to the virtue. Q. What are the means by which this virtue may be preserved? A. To conquer interior temptations with the thought of the presence of God, and moreover to fight without fear. And for exterior temptations, to avoid occasions. There are, in all, seven principal means: to guard the senses, to avoid occasions, to avoid idleness, to remove temptations promptly, to remove oneself from all - and especially particular friendships, the spirit of mortification, and to reveal all these temptations to one's confessor. Besides this, there are also five means of preserving this virtue: humility, the spirit of prayer, modesty of the eyes, fidelity to the rule, a sincere devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Vow of Obedience The vow of obedience is superior to the first two. It is, to tell the truth, a holocaust, and it is more necessary because it forms and animates the monastic body. Q. To what does the vow of obedience oblige us? A. By the vow of obedience, the religious promises to God to be obedient to his legitimate superiors in everything that they will ordain in virtue of the rule. The vow of obedience makes the religious dependent on his superior in virtue of these rules for his whole life and in all his affairs. A religious commits a grave sin against the vow every time he disobeys an order given in virtue of obedience and of these rules. The Virtue of Obedience The virtue of obedience goes further than the vow; it embraces the rules, the regulations and even the counsels of the superiors. Q. Is the virtue of obedience indispensable for a religious? A. The virtue of obedience is so indispensable to a religious that, even if he were to perform good actions contrary to obedience, these would be evil and without merit. Q. Can we sin gravely against the virtue of obedience? A. We sin gravely when we scorn the authority or the order of the superior, or when spiritual or temporal harm to the community results from our disobedience. Q. What faults endanger the vow? A. To be prejudiced against the superior, or to harbor an antipathy for him - murmuring and criticism, tardiness and negligence. The Degrees of Obedience Prompt and complete fulfillment - the obedience of the will, when the will persuades the intellect to submit to the advice of the superior. To facilitate obedience, Saint Ignatius suggests, moreover, three means: always to see God in our superior, whoever he might be; to justify in itself the order or advice of the superior; to accept each order as an order from God, without examining it or reflecting on it. General means: humility. Nothing is difficult for the humble.
96 +Trials sent by God to a soul which is particularly
loved by Him.
Temptations and darkness; Satan. The soul's love [for God] is still not such as God would have it. The soul suddenly loses the tangible perception of God's presence. Various defects and imperfections rise up within it, and it must fight them furiously. All her faults lift up their heads, but the soul's vigilance is great. The former awareness of the presence of God gives place to coldness and spiritual dryness; the soul has no taste for spiritual exercises; it cannot pray, either in the old way, or in the manner in which it had just begun to pray. It struggles this way and that, but can find no satisfaction. God has hidden himself from it, and it can find no consolation in creatures, nor can any of these creatures find a way of consoling it. The soul craves passionately for God, but sees its own misery; it begins to sense God's justice; it seems to it that it has lost all the gifts that God had given it; its mind is dimmed, and darkness fills it; unspeakable torment begins. The soul tries to explain its state to the confessor, but it is not understood and is assailed by an even greater unrest. Satan begins his work.
97 Faith
staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to
cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even
further: hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible.
God supports the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this,
but otherwise it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well
how much He can allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in
respect to revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan
says to it, "Look, no one understands you; why speak about all
this?" Words that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul
that it is uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see.
It hears what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at
times like these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the
whole burden alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is
at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under
the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are
heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already
been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted the
divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us are
impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future designs
and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this is not
yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the complete
abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of
Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
101 Jesus, You alone know how the soul, engulfed in
darkness, moans in the midst of these torments and, despite all this, thirsts
for God as burning lips thirst for water. It dies and withers; it dies a
death without death; that is to say, it cannot die. All its efforts come to
nothing; it is under a powerful hand. Now the soul comes under the power of
the Just One. All exterior temptations cease; all that surrounds it becomes
silent, like a dying person who loses contact with everything around it: the person's
entire soul is in the hand of the Just God, the Thrice-Holy God,-rejected for
all eternity! This is the culminating moment, and God alone can test a soul
in this way, because He alone knows what the soul can endure.
When the soul has been saturated through and through by this infernal fire, it is, as it were, cast headlong into great despair. My soul experienced this moment when I was all alone in my cell. When my soul began to sink into this despair, I felt that the end was near. But I seized my little crucifix and clutched it tightly in my hand. And now I felt my body separate itself from my soul; and though I wanted to go to my Superiors, I no longer had the physical strength. I uttered my last words: "I trust in Your Mercy!"-and it seemed to me that I provoked God to an even greater anger. And now I was drowned in despair, and all that was left me was a moan of unadulterated pain which, from time to time, tore itself from my soul. The soul is in agony-and it seemed to me that I would remain in this state, because by my own strength I could not emerge from it. Every recollection of God opened up an unspeakable ocean of suffering, and yet despite this there is something within the soul which is drawn to Him, though it seems to her for this only-that she suffer more. The memory of the love with which God formerly surrounded it is still another kind of suffering. His gaze pierces it, and everything within the soul is burned by this gaze.
116 My Jesus, You know what my
soul goes through at the recollection of these sufferings. I have often
marvelled that the angels and saints hold their peace at the sight of a soul
suffering like that. Yet they have special love for us at such moments. My
soul has often cried out after God, as a little child who cries as loudly as
he can when his mother covers her face and he cannot recognize her. O my
Jesus, honor and glory to You for these trials of love! Great and
incomprehensible is your mercy. All that You intended for my soul, O Lord, is
steeped in Your mercy.
118 The tongue is a small member,
but it does big things. A religious who does not keep silence will never
attain holiness; that is, she will never become a saint. Let her not delude
herself-unless it is the Spirit of God who is speaking through her, for then
she must not keep silent. But, in order to hear the voice of God, one has to
have silence in one's soul and to keep silence; not a gloomy silence, but an
interior silence; that is to say, recollection in God. One can speak a great
deal without breaking silence and, on the contrary, one can speak little and
be constantly breaking silence. Oh, what irreparable damage is done by the
breach of silence! We cause a lot of harm to our neighbor, but even more to
our own selves.
In my opinion, and according to my
experience, the rule concerning silence should stand in the very first place.
God does not give himself to a chattering soul which, like a drone in a
beehive, buzzes around but gathers no honey. A talkative soul is empty
inside. It lacks both the essential virtues and intimacy with God. A deeper
interior life, one of gentle peace and of that silence where the Lord dwells,
is quite out of the question. A soul that has never tasted the sweetness of
inner silence is a restless spirit which disturbs the silence of others. I
have seen many souls in the depths of hell for not having kept their silence;
they told me so themselves when I asked them what was the cause of their
undoing. These were souls of religious. My God, what an agony it is to think
that not only might they have been in heaven, but they might even have become
saints! O Jesus, have mercy!
147 I recall
that I have received most light during adoration which I made lying prostrate
before the Blessed Sacrament for half an hour every day throughout Lent.
During that time I came to know myself and God more profoundly. And yet, even
though I had the superiors' permission to do so, I encountered many obstacles
to praying in such a way. Let the soul be aware that, in order to pray and
persevere in prayer, one must arm oneself with patience and cope bravely with
exterior and interior difficulties. The interior difficulties are
discouragement, dryness, heaviness of spirit and temptations. The exterior
difficulties are human respect and time; one must observe the time set apart
for prayer. This has been my personal experience because, when I did not pray
at the time assigned for prayer, later on I could not do it because of my
duties; or if I did manage to do so, this was only with great difficulty,
because my thoughts kept wandering off to my duties. I also experienced this
difficulty: when a soul has prayed well and left prayer in a state of
profound interior recollection, others resist its recollection; and so, the
soul must be patient to persevere in prayer. It often happened to me that
when my soul was more deeply immersed in God, and I had derived greater fruit
from prayer, and God's presence accompanied me during the day, and at work
there was more recollection and greater precision and effort at my duty, this
was precisely when I received the most rebukes for being negligent in my duty
and indifferent to everything; because less recollected souls want others to
be like them, for they are a constant [source of] remorse to them.
163 JMJ The Year 1937
General Exercises
+O Most Holy Trinity! As many
times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my
blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify
Your mercy.
+I want to be completely
transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, O Lord. May the
greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass
through my heart and soul to my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may
be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look
for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be
merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be
indifferent to their pains and moaning. Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may
be merciful, so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have
a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may
be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my
neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be
merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own
fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may
be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I
will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I
know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful
Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O
Lord, rest upon me.
+You yourself command me to
exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever
kind. The second: the word of mercy-if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I
will assist by my words. The third: prayer-if I cannot show mercy by deeds or
words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I
cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into
Yourself, for you can do all things.
173 Satan's temptations during meditation. I felt a
strange fear that the priest would not
understand me, or that he would have no time to hear
everything I would have to say. How am I going to tell him all this? If it
were Father Bukowski I could do it more easily, but this Jesuit whom I am
seeing for the first time... Then I remembered Father Bukowski's advice that
I should at least take brief notes of the lights sent to me by God during the
retreats and give him at least a brief report on them. My God, for a day and
a half all has gone well, and now a life and death struggle is beginning. The
conference is to start in a half hour, and then I am to go to confession.
Satan tried to persuade me into believing that if my superiors have told me
that my inner life is an illusion, why should I ask again and trouble the
confessor? Didn't MX [probably Mother Jane] tell you that the Lord Jesus does
not commune with souls as miserable as yours? This confessor is going to tell
you the same thing. Why speak to him about all this? These are not sins, and
Mother X, told you that all this communing with the Lord Jesus was
daydreaming and pure hysteria. So why tell it to this confessor? You would do better to dismiss all this as
illusions. Look how many humiliations you have suffered because of them, and
how many more are still awaiting you, and all the sisters know that you are a
hysteric. "Jesus!" I called out with all the strength of my soul.
216 We have come to Cracow today
[April 18, 1933]. What a joy it is to find myself again where I took my first
steps in the spiritual life! Dear Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] is ever the
same, cheerful and full of love of neighbor. I entered the chapel for a
moment and joy filled my soul. In a flash I recalled the whole ocean of graces
that had been given me as a novice here.
241 Love of neighbor. First:
Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about those who are
absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice in the
success of others.
279 God made known to me what true
love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give proof
of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's will. To show
God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from
our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well
as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures.
I want the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want
you to detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My
daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
294 +Once the Lord said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away
when he gets more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more
fervently. You too should not back away and say that you are not worthy of
receiving greater graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy,
but rejoice all the more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can
carry, for then you will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing:
Take these graces not only for yourself, but also for others; that is,
encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite
mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will
do everything for them.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to
love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore You
with every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My
life is not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant
flowers, so that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of
suffering or the rose of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will
not enumerate these treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great
thing to know how to make use of the present moment.
343 True love is measured by the thermometer of suffering.
Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for opposition to my
endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation of
my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in
which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of
strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in
everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness. I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You. O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
375 Particular interior practice;
that is, the examination of conscience. Self-denial, denial of my own will.
I. The denial of my reason. Subjecting
it to the reason of those who represent God to me here on earth.
II. The denial of my will. Doing
the will of God, which is revealed in the will of those who represent God to
me and which is contained in the rule of our order.
III. The denial of my judgment.
Accepting immediately and without reflection, analysis or reasoning all
orders given by those who represent God to me.
IV. The denial of my tongue. I
will not give it the least bit of freedom; but in one case only I will give
it complete freedom; that is, in proclaiming the glory of God. Whenever I
receive Holy Communion, I will ask Jesus to fortify and cleanse my tongue
that I may not injure my neighbor with it. That is why I have the greatest
respect for the rule which speaks about silence.
383 At the beginning of the
retreat, I saw, on the ceiling of the chapel, Jesus nailed to the Cross. He
was looking at the sisters with great love, but not at all of them. There
were three sisters at whom Jesus looked severely, for what reasons I do not know.
I only know what a terrible thing it is to meet with such a look, which is
the look of a severe Judge. That look was not directed at me, and yet I was
paralyzed with terror. I still tremble as I write these words. I did not dare
to say so much as a single word to Jesus. My physical strength failed me, and
I thought I would not live to the end of the conference. The next day, I saw
the same thing again, just as I had seen it the first time, and this time I
dared to speak these words: "Jesus, how great is Your mercy!"
On the third day, that gaze of
great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again repeated. I
gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of neighbor, and I
said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You yourself told me, I
beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with kindness at these three
sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with Your wisdom, I ask You for
an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for my soul, and let Your
severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus then said to me these
words: My daughter, for the sake of
your sincere and generous love, I grant them many graces although they are
not asking Me for them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made
to you. And at that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three
sisters as well. My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
549 Work. As poor persons, the
nuns themselves will do all the work in the convent. Each one should be glad
when she is given some work which is humbling or which goes against her
nature, as that will greatly help her interior formation. The superior will
often change the sisters' duties, and in this way help them to detach
themselves completely from the little details to which women have a great
attachment. Truly, I often find it amusing to see with my own eyes souls who
have forsaken really great things only to attach themselves to fiddle faddle;
that is, trifles. Each sister, including even the superior, shall work in the
kitchen for a month. Every one should take a turn at every chore which is to
be done in the convent.
571 O my Jesus, Eternal
Truth, I fear nothing, neither hardships nor sufferings; I fear only one
thing, and that is to offend You. My Jesus, I would rather not exist than
make You sad. Jesus, You know that my love knows no one but You. My soul is
absorbed in You.
590 When I receive Holy Communion,
I entreat and beg the Savior to heal my tongue, that I may never fail in love
of neighbor.
692 + O Jesus, I understand that
Your mercy is beyond all imagining, and therefore I ask You to make my heart
so big that there will be room in it for the needs of all the souls living on
the face of the earth. O Jesus, my love extends beyond the world, to the
souls suffering in purgatory, and I want to exercise mercy toward them by
means of indulgenced prayers. God's mercy is unfathomable and inexhaustible,
just as God himself is unfathomable. Even if I were to use the strongest
words there are to express this mercy of God, all this would be nothing in
comparison with what it is in reality. O Jesus, make my heart sensitive to
all the sufferings of my neighbor, whether of body or of soul. O my Jesus, I
know that You act toward us as we act toward our neighbor.
My Jesus, make my heart like unto
Your merciful Heart. Jesus, help me to go through life doing good to
everyone.
700 + Once, when I was very tired
and in much pain, I told Mother Superior [Irene] about it and received the
answer that I should get used to suffering. I listened to everything that
Mother told me, and then I went out. Our Mother Superior has great love of
neighbor and especially great love for the sick sisters, as everyone knows.
And yet, as regards me, it is extraordinary that the Lord Jesus has permitted
that she not understand me and that she test me much in this respect.
704 I spend every free moment at
the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask Him about everything; I
speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength and light; here I learn
everything; here I am given light on how to act toward my neighbor. From the
time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed myself in the tabernacle together
with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me into the fire of living love on
which everything converges.
742 My daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you
should be the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I
demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You
are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not
shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it.
I
am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the
first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees
is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love
for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes,
the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be
acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn
celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is
painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to
be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is
of no avail without works. O
my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very
little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.
+ Particular Examen
Union with the merciful Christ.
With my heart I encompass the whole world, especially countries which are
uncivilized or where there is persecution. I am praying for mercy upon them.
791 Hide me, Jesus, in the depths
of Your mercy, and then let my neighbor judge me as he pleases.
856 During the morning meditation,
I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created things. Everything pales
before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all things. I desire only God
himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom beyond description. God
imparts himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite
depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on earth for
the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing for Him. And this
strong love is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in it; and self-love
has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally saturated with
bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and
terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true life and of inconceivable
happiness and the strength of the soul; and because of this, [the soul] is
capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
861 Particular examen: remains the
same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ (that is; what would
Christ do in such and such a case?) and, in spirit, to embrace the whole
world, especially Russia and Spain.
General resolutions.
I. Strict observance of silence -
interior silence.
II. To see the image of God in
every sister; all love of neighbor must flow from this motive.
III. To do the will of God
faithfully at every moment of my life and to live by this.
IV. To give a faithful account of
everything to the spiritual director and not to undertake anything of
importance without a clear understanding with him. I shall try to clearly lay
bare to him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind that I am
dealing with God himself, and that His representative is just a human being,
and so I must pray daily that he be given light.
V. During the evening examination
of conscience, I am to ask myself the question: What if He were to call me
today?
VI. Not to look for God far away,
but within my own being to abide with Him alone.
VII. In sufferings and torments,
to take refuge in the tabernacle and to be silent.
VIII. To join all sufferings,
prayers, works and mortifications to the merits of Jesus in order to obtain
mercy for the world.
IX. To use free moments, however
short, for prayers for the dying.
X. There must not be a day in my
life when I do not recommend to the Lord the works of our Congregation. Never
have regard for what others think of you [for human respect].
XI. Have no familiar relationships
with anyone. Gentle firmness toward the girls, boundless patience; punish
them severely but with such punishments as these: prayer and self-sacrifice.
The strength that is in the emptying of myself for their sake is for them a
[source of] constant remorse and the softening of their obdurate hearts.
XII. The presence of God is the
basis of all my thoughts, words and deeds.
XIII. To take advantage of all
spiritual help. To always put self-love in its proper place; namely, the
last. To perform my spiritual exercises as though I were doing them for the
last time in my life, and in like manner to carry out all my duties.
871 + My Master, cause my heart
never to expect help from anyone, but I will always strive to bring
assistance, consolation and all manner of relief to others. My heart is
always open to the sufferings of others; and I will not close my heart to the
sufferings of others, even though because of this I have been scornfully
nicknamed "dump"; that is, [because] everyone dumps his pain into
my heart. [To this] I answered that everyone has a place in my heart and I,
in return, have a place in the Heart of Jesus. Taunts regarding the law of
love will not narrow my heart. My soul is always sensitive on this point, and
Jesus alone is the motive for my love of neighbor.
944 + There are moments when I
mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and wretchedness in the most
profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed that I can endure such
moments only by trusting in the infinite mercy of God. Patience, prayer and
silence-these are what give strength to the soul. There are moments when one
should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to talk with creatures;
these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with oneself, and when the
soul feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul clings to God with all
its might. At such times, I live solely by faith, and when I feel
strengthened by God's grace, then I am more courageous in speaking and
communicating with my neighbors.
1039 + I suffer great pain at the
sight of the sufferings of others. All these sufferings are reflected in my
heart. I carry their torments in my heart so that it even wears me out
physically. I would like all pains to fall upon me so as to bring relief to
my neighbor.
1662 + O Christ, suffering for You
is the delight of my heart and my soul. Prolong my sufferings to infinity,
that I may give You a proof of my love. I accept everything that Your hand
will hold out to me. Your love, Jesus, is enough for me. I will glorify You
in abandonment and darkness, in agony and fear, in pain and bitterness, in
anguish of spirit and grief of heart. In all things may You be blessed. My
heart is so detached from the earth, that You Yourself are enough for me.
There is no longer any moment in my life for self concern.
1663 Holy Thursday [April 14, 1938]. Today I
felt strong enough to take part in the ceremonies of the Church. During Holy
Mass, Jesus stood before me and said, Look
into My Heart and see there the love and mercy which I have for humankind,
and especially for sinners. Look, and enter into My Passion. In an
instant, I experienced and lived through the whole Passion of Jesus in my own
heart. I was surprised that these tortures did not deprive me of my life.
1664 During adoration, Jesus said
to me, My daughter, know that your
ardent love and the compassion you have for Me were a consolation to Me in
the Garden [of Olives].
1665 During Holy Hour in the
evening, I heard the words, You see My
mercy for sinners, which at this moment is revealing itself in all its power.
See how little you have written about it; it is only a single drop. Do what
is in your power, so that sinners may come to know My goodness.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-55, 72, 77, 92-93, 96-98, 101 ,116,
118)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-147, 173, 163, 216, 241, 279., 294,
296)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-343, 375, 383)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-549, 571, 590, 692, 700, 704, 742)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-791, 856, 861, 871, 944)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1029, 1039)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1662-1663)
|
Mga Pahina
▼
Walang komento:
Mag-post ng isang Komento