Longing to Be with the Father
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July 28, 2019. Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
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Luke 11: 1-13
Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished, one of
his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught
his disciples." He said to them, "When you pray, say: Father,
hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread
and forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us, and
do not subject us to the final test." And he said to them, "Suppose
one of you has a friend to whom he goes at midnight and says, ´Friend, lend
me three loaves of bread, for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a
journey and I have nothing to offer him,´ and he says in reply from within,
´Do not bother me; the door has already been locked and my children and I are
already in bed. I cannot get up to give you anything.´ I tell you, if he does
not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up
to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence. "And I tell
you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door
will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who
seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father
among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a
scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to
give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven
give the holy Spirit to those who ask him?"
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I come into
Your presence seeking to know You better. I believe that You take the lead in
seeking me. You want me to find You. I trust that in Your mercy You will
bring me to intimacy with You. I open my heart today to receive Your
friendship.
Petition: Lord, teach me to long for Your Kingdom and Your holiness.
1. Teach Us How to Pray: All of us carry a longing to know
God and enter into a relationship with him. Those who live a deep
relationship with God attract us by the peace and serenity of their lives.
They know they are loved, and they can handle the difficulties of life with
joy and serenity. The disciples see how deeply and spontaneously Christ talks
with the Father, and they realize they are far from that; so they ask Christ
to teach them to pray. We, too, learn from Christ how to enter into a
relationship of love with the Father. He teaches us to put our trust totally
in the Father’s love.
2. The Desire to Be like the Father: Jesus teaches us
to ask that the Father’s Kingdom come in our hearts. He reveals to us that
the Father’s kingdom is our home. When we pray the Our Father, we are
expressing our desire to enter into the Father’s heart. We are expressing our
desire to be like the Father in his goodness, holiness, and love. Praying the
Our Father renews in us a continual conversion of heart and points us to our
true home. It reminds us that this home is within our reach, because the
Father is intimately close to our lives and wants to help us become more like
him.
3. Asking for Holiness Persistently: Jesus invites us
to persevere in imploring the Father for the gift of the Holy Spirit. The
Holy Spirit brings holiness to our lives if we are docile to his
inspirations. Christ reminds us that the Father wants to bless us with this
holiness. But we must expand our capacity to receive this gift by increasing
our desire for it. Our perseverance in petitioning this gift expands our
hearts. We must not tire of asking for the gift of the Holy Spirit. We must
do so with great confidence in the Father’s love.
Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, thank You for showing
me the closeness that the Father wants to have with me. Help me to expand my
heart and be like him. You are guiding my life, Lord. Help me to cooperate
with the Father’s love.
Resolution: I will pray an Our Father today more calmly and
attentively, letting the Holy Spirit inspire me to see what a small thing I
can do today to help the Father’s Kingdom come.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
17 At last the
time came when the door of the convent was opened for me - it was the first
of August [1925], in the evening, the vigil [of a feast] of Our Lady of the
Angels. I felt immensely happy; it seemed to em that I had stepped into the
life of Paradise. A single prayer was bursting forth from my heart, one of
thanksgiving.
18 However, after
three weeks I became aware that there is so very little time here for prayer,
and of many other things which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a religious
community of a stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold of my soul,
but the will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather the
temptation, was growing stronger and stronger to the point where I decided
one day to announce my departure to Mother Superior and definitely to leave
[the convent]. But God arranged the circumstances in such a way that I could
not get to the Mother Superior [Michael]. I stepped into the little
chapel [7] before
going to bed, and I asked Jesus for light in this matter. But I received
nothing in my soul except a strange unrest which I did not understand. But,
in spite of everything, I made up my mind to approach Mother Superior the
next morning right after Mass and tell her of my decision.
32 Another time I
heard these words, Go to the Superior and ask her to allow you to
make a daily hour of adoration for nine days. During this adoration try to
unite yourself in prayer with My Mother. Pray with all your heart in union
with Mary, and try also during this time to make the Way of the Cross. I
received the permission, though not for a full hour, but only for whatever
time was left me after I had carried out my duties.
41 On one occasion
I saw a servant of God in the immediate danger of committing a mortal sin. I
started to beg God to deign to send down upon me all the torments of hell and
all the sufferings He wished if only this priest would be set free and
snatched from the occasion of committing a sin. Jesus heard my prayer and,
that very instant, I felt a crown of thorns on my head. The thorns penetrated
my head with great force right into my brain. This lasted for three hours;
the servant of God was set free from this sin, and his soul was strengthened
by a special grace of God.
55 1933.
Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not
turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to
your confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to
your own self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the
good of other souls, l urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect
them, but always do so in consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit. Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them. But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace. You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity. Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone." Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you." Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others." On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now." Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
62 O life so dull
and monotonous, how many treasures you contain! When I look at everything
with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony
disappear. The grace which is given me in this hour will not be repeated in
the next. It may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. Time
goes on, never to return again. Whatever is enclosed in it will never change;
it seals with a seal for eternity.
91 O my Jesus,
You alone know what persecutions I suffer, and this only because I am being
faithful to You and following Your orders. You are my strength; sustain me
that I may always carry out what You ask of me. Of myself I can do nothing,
but when You sustain me, all difficulties are nothing for me. O my Lord, I
can see very well that from the time when my soul first received the capacity
to know You, my life has been a continual struggle which has become
increasingly intense.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist. O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way You have marked out for me.
92 Humiliation is
my daily food. I understand that the bride must herself share in everything
that is the groom's; and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those
times when I suffer much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue
which, at such moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to
help me praise God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me.
When I receive Jesus in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal
my tongue so that I would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my
tongue to praise God without cease. Great are the faults committed by the
tongue. The soul will not attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its
tongue.
94 O my Lord,
inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may not grow weary amidst
the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how weak I am. Love can do
all.
95 +A Deeper
Knowledge of God and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him. But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
97 Faith staggers
under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God
by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and
love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the
soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it
would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can
allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to
revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it,
"Look, no one understands you; why speak about all this?" Words
that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is
uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see. It hears
what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times like
these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole burden
alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is at all
possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under the
burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are heavy
and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already been
admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted the
divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us are
impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future designs
and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this is not
yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the complete
abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of
Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
102 After some
time, one of the sisters came into the cell and found me almost dead. She was
frightened and went to find the Directress of Novices who, in the name of
holy obedience ordered me to get up from the ground. My strength returned
immediately, and I got up, trembling. The Directress recognized immediately
the state of my soul and spoke to me about the inscrutable mercy of God,
saying, "Do not be distressed about anything, Sister. I command this of
you in virtue of obedience." Then she said to me, "I see now,
Sister, that God is calling you to a high degree of holiness; the Lord wants
to draw you very close to Himself since He has allowed these things to happen
to you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister, because this is a sign that He
wants you to have a high place in heaven." However, I did not understand
anything of these words. When I went into the chapel, I felt as though my
soul had been set free from everything, as though I had just come forth from
the hand of God. I perceived the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was
a tiny child.
106 Though these
are frightening things, the soul should not be too fearful, because God will
never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On the other hand, He may
never send us such sufferings, but I write this because, if it pleases the
Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings, it should not be afraid but,
insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it should remain faithful to God.
God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love itself, and in this
unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when I was so tormented,
I myself did not understand this.
107 O my God, I
have come to know that I am not of this earth; You, O Lord, have poured this
profound awareness into my soul. My communion is more with heaven than with
earth, though I in no way neglect my duties.
111 When, in the
midst of these interior torments, I tried to accuse myself in confession of
the smallest trifles, the priest was surprised that I had not committed
graver faults, and he said to me, "If you are as faithful as this to God
during these sufferings, this in itself is evidence to me that God is
sustaining you, Sister, with a special grace, and it is a good thing that you
do not understand this." It is a strange thing, nevertheless, that
confessors could neither understand me nor set my mind at peace concerning
these matters, until I met Father Andrasz and, later on, Father Sopocko.
114 +Oh, how
pleasing are the hymns flowing from a suffering soul! All heaven delights in
such a soul, especially when it is tested by God. It mournfully sings out its
longing for Him. Great is its beauty, because it comes from God. The soul
walks through the jungle of life, wounded by God's love. With one foot only
it touches the ground.
115 + When a soul
has come out of these tribulations, it is deeply humble. Its purity of soul
is great. It knows better without need of reflecting, as it were, what it
ought to do at a given moment and what to forbear. It feels the lightest
touch of grace and is very faithful to God. It recognizes God from afar and
continuously rejoices in Him. It discovers God very quickly in other souls
and in its environment in general. The soul has been purified by God himself.
God, as Pure Spirit, introduces the soul to a life which is purely spiritual.
God himself has first prepared and purified the soul; that is, He has made it
capable of close communion with himself. The soul, in a state of loving
repose, communes spiritually with the Lord. It speaks to God without the need
of expressing itself through the senses. God fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
129 Satan always
takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to
the surface-for your faithfulness and sincerity-this is your reward. How can
one be sincere when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any
longer. Again I fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a
sweat, and fear began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly.
Suddenly I heard a voice within my soul, Do not fear; I am with
you. And an unusual light illumined my mind, and I understood that I
should not give in to such sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and
left my cell with new courage to suffer.
132 I must again
mention that there are some confessors who seem to be true spiritual fathers,
but only as long as things go well. When the soul finds itself in greater
need, they become perplexed, and either cannot or will not understand the
soul. They try to get rid of the person as soon as possible. But if the soul
is humble, it will always profit in some little way or other. God himself
will sometimes cast a shaft of light into the depths of the soul, because of
its humility and faith. The confessor will sometimes say something he had
never intended to say, without even realizing it himself. Oh, let the soul
believe that such words are the words of the Lord himself! Though indeed we
ought to believe that every word spoken in the confessional is God's, what I
have referred to above is something that comes directly from God. And the
soul perceives that the priest is not master of himself, that he is saying
things that he would rather not say. This is how God rewards faith.
I have experienced this many times myself. A certain very learned and respected priest [probably Father Wilkowski, the sisters' confessor at Plock], to whom I sometimes happened to go to confession, was always severe and opposed to these matters [which I brought up to him]. But on one occasion he replied to me, "Bear in mind, Sister, that if God is asking this of you, you should not oppose Him. God sometimes wants to be praised in just this way. Be at peace; what God has started, He will finish. But I say this to you: faithfulness to God and humility. And once again: humility. Bear well in mind what I have told you today." I was delighted, and I thought that perhaps this priest had understood me. But it so turned out that I never went to confession to him again.
136 And the Lord
gave me to know that the whole mystery depended on me, on my free consent to
the sacrifice given with full use of my faculties. In this free and conscious
act lies the whole power and value before His Majesty. Even if none of these
things for which I offered myself would ever happen to me, before the Lord
everything was as though it had already been consummated.
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with me at every moment of my life."
138 A great
mystery has been accomplished between God and me. Courage and strength have
remained in my soul. When the time of adoration came to an end, I came out
and calmly faced everything I had feared so much before. When I came out into
the corridor, a great suffering and humiliation, at the hands of a certain
person, was awaiting me. I accepted it with submission to a higher will and
snuggled closely to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting Him know that I
was ready for that for which I had offered myself.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed; each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage, she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who follow those inspirations faithfully.
139 Still, a soul
which is faithful to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it must submit
them to the control of a very wise and learned priest; and until it is quite
certain, it should remain distrustful. It should not, on its own initiative
alone, put its trust in these inspirations and all other higher graces,
because it can thus expose itself to great losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
145 Oh, how
wretched my soul is for having wasted so many graces! I was running away from
God, and He pursued me with his graces. I most often experienced God's graces
when I least expected them. From the moment He gave me a spiritual director,
I have been more faithful to grace. Thanks to the director and his
watchfulness over my soul, I have learned what guidance means and how Jesus
looks at it. Jesus warned me of the least fault and stressed that He himself
judges the matter that I present to my confessor; and [He told me] that
... any transgressions against the confessor touch Me myself.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times. +Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent. +When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins. There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated. In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
146 Prayer.-A
soul arms itself by prayer for all kinds of combat. In whatever state the
soul may be, it ought to pray. A soul which is pure and beautiful must pray,
or else it will lose its beauty; a soul which is striving after this purity
must pray, or else it will never attain it; a soul which is newly converted
must pray, or else it will fall again; a sinful soul, plunged in sins, must
pray so that it might rise again. There is no soul which is not bound to
pray, for every single grace comes to the soul through prayer.
147 I recall that
I have received most light during adoration which I made lying prostrate
before the Blessed Sacrament for half an hour every day throughout Lent.
During that time I came to know myself and God more profoundly. And yet, even
though I had the superiors' permission to do so, I encountered many obstacles
to praying in such a way. Let the soul be aware that, in order to pray and
persevere in prayer, one must arm oneself with patience and cope bravely with
exterior and interior difficulties. The interior difficulties are
discouragement, dryness, heaviness of spirit and temptations. The exterior
difficulties are human respect and time; one must observe the time set apart
for prayer. This has been my personal experience because, when I did not pray
at the time assigned for prayer, later on I could not do it because of my
duties; or if I did manage to do so, this was only with great difficulty,
because my thoughts kept wandering off to my duties. I also experienced this
difficulty: when a soul has prayed well and left prayer in a state of
profound interior recollection, others resist its recollection; and so, the
soul must be patient to persevere in prayer. It often happened to me that
when my soul was more deeply immersed in God, and I had derived greater fruit
from prayer, and God's presence accompanied me during the day, and at work
there was more recollection and greater precision and effort at my duty, this
was precisely when I received the most rebukes for being negligent in my duty
and indifferent to everything; because less recollected souls want others to
be like them, for they are a constant [source of] remorse to them.
148 +A noble and
delicate soul, even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees
God in everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even
the most hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates
all things, it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from
all things, and it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is
not confused when the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the
best of Fathers and makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the
faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and
holds onto Him like a child to its mother. Where other souls come to a
standstill and fear, this soul passes on without fear or difficulty.
149 When the Lord
himself wants to be close to a soul and to lead it, He will remove everything
that is external. When I fell ill and was taken to the infirmary, I suffered
much unpleasantness because of this. There were two of us sick in the
infirmary. Sisters would come to see Sister N., but no one came to visit me.
It is true that there was only one infirmary, but each one had her own cell.
The winter nights were long, and Sister N. had the light and the radio
headphones, while I could not even prepare my meditation for lack of a light.
When nearly two weeks had passed in this way, I complained to the Lord one evening that I was suffering so much and that I could not even prepare my meditation because there was no light. And the Lord said that He would come every evening and give me the points for the next day's meditation. These points always concerned His sorrowful Passion. He would say, Consider My sufferings before Pilate. And thus, point by point, I meditated upon His sorrowful Passion for one week. From that moment, a great joy entered my soul, and I no longer wanted either the visitors or the light; Jesus sufficed me for everything. The superiors were indeed very solicitous for the sick, but the Lord ordained that I should feel forsaken. This best of masters withdraws every created thing in order that He himself might act. Many a time, I have experienced such sufferings and persecutions that Mother M. [probably Mother Margaret] herself said to me, "Sister, along your path, sufferings just spring up out of the ground. I look upon you, Sister, as one crucified. But I can see that Jesus has a hand in this. Be faithful to the Lord."
150 + I want to
write down a dream that I had about Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I was
still a novice at the time and was going through some difficulties which I
did not know how to overcome. They were interior difficulties connected with
exterior ones. I made novenas to various saints, but the situation grew more
and more difficult. The sufferings it caused me were so great that I did not
know how to go on living, but suddenly the thought occurred to me that I
should pray to Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I started a novena to this
Saint, because before entering the convent I had had a great devotion to her.
Lately I had somewhat neglected this devotion, but in my need I began again
to pray with great fervor.
On the fifth day of the novena, I dreamed of Saint Therese, but it was as if she were still living on earth. She hid from me the fact that she was a saint and began to comfort me, saying that I should not be worried about this matter, but should trust more in God. She said, "I suffered greatly, too," but I did not quite believe her and said, "It seems to me that you have not suffered at all." But Saint Therese answered me in a convincing manner that she had suffered very much indeed and said to me, "Sister, know that in three days the difficulty will come to a happy conclusion." When I was not very willing to believe her, she revealed to me that she was a saint. At that moment, a great joy filled my soul, and I said to her, "You are a saint?" "Yes," she answered, "I am a saint. Trust that this matter will be resolved in three days:" And I said, "Dear sweet Therese, tell me, shall I go to heaven?" And she answered, "Yes, you will go to heaven, Sister." "And will I be a saint?" To which she replied, "Yes, you will be a saint." "But, little Therese, shall I be a saint as you are, raised to the altar?" And she answered, "Yes, you will be a saint just as I am, but you must trust in the Lord Jesus." I then asked her if my mother and father would go to heaven, will [unfinished sentence] And she replied that they would. I further asked, "And will my brothers and sisters go to heaven?" She told me to pray hard for them, but gave me no definite answer. I understood that they were in need of much prayer. This was a dream. And as the proverb goes, dreams are phantoms; God is faith. Nevertheless, three days later the difficulty was solved very easily, just as she had said. And everything in this affair turned out exactly as she said it would. It was a dream, but it had its significance.
155 +It has happened
to me for some time now that 1 immediately sense in my soul when someone is
praying for me; and I likewise sense it in my soul when some soul asks me for
prayer, even though they do not speak to me about it. The feeling is one of
certain disquiet, as if someone were calling me; and when I pray 1 obtain
peace.
166 In prayer I
always find light and strength of spirit, although there are moments so
trying and hurtful, that it is sometimes difficult to imagine that these
things can happen in a convent. Strangely, God sometimes allows them, but
always in order to manifest or develop virtue in a soul. That is the reason
for trials.
170 The first day of
the retreat. I tried to be the first in the chapel in the morning; before the
meditation I had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy Spirit and to Our Lady.
I earnestly begged the Mother of God to obtain for me the grace of fidelity
to these inner inspirations and of faithfully carrying out God's will,
whatever it might be. I began this retreat with a very special kind of
courage.
186 +Today Jesus said to me, I
desire that you know more profoundly the love that burns in My Heart for
souls, and you will understand this when you meditate upon My Passion. Call
upon My mercy on behalf of sinners; I desire their salvation. When you say
this prayer, with a contrite heart and with faith on behalf of some sinner, I
will give him the grace of conversion. This is the prayer:
187 "O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You."
239 Prayer during the
Mass on the day of the perpetual vows. Today I place my heart on the paten
where Your Heart has been placed, O Jesus, and today I offer myself together
with You to God, Your Father and mine, as a sacrifice of love and praise.
Father of Mercy, look upon the sacrifice of my heart, but through the wound
in the Heart of Jesus.
245 My Jesus, I will
now strive to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on
which You yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me,
Jesus, I will try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can
work in them. O great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense
confidence with which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days
of work and of monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment
brings me new graces and opportunity to do good.
268 October 11,
1933.-Thursday.-I tried to make a Holy Hour, but began it with great
difficulty. A certain yearning started to tear at my heart. My mind was
dimmed so that I could not understand the simplest forms of prayer. And so
passed by an hour of prayer, or rather of struggle. I resolved to pray for a
second hour, but my inner sufferings increased-great dryness and
discouragement. I resolved to pray for a third hour. In the third hour, which
I resolved to spend kneeling without any support, my body started to clamor
for rest. But I in no way relented. I stretched out my arms and, though I
spoke no words, I persisted by sheer will. After a while, I took the ring off
my finger and asked Jesus to look at the ring, that sign of our eternal
union, and I offered Jesus the feelings I had had on the day of perpetual
vows. After a while, I feel my heart inundated with a wave of love. A sudden
recollection of spirit, the senses quiet down, and God's presence pervades my
soul. I know only this: that it is Jesus and I. I saw Him just as He had
appeared to me in that instant after my perpetual vows, when I was likewise
making a Holy Hour. Jesus was suddenly standing before me, stripped of His
clothes, His body completely covered with wounds, His eyes flooded with tears
and blood, His face disfigured and covered with spittle. The Lord then said
to me, The bride must resemble her Betrothed. I understood
these words to their very depth. There is no room for doubt here. My likeness
to Jesus must be through suffering and humility. See what love of
human souls has done to Me. My daughter, in your heart I find everything that
so great a number of souls refuses Me. Your heart is My repose. I often wait
with great graces until towards the end of prayer.
621 On one occasion,
when I dropped by the chapel for a five-minute adoration and was praying for
a certain soul, I came to understand that God does not always accept our
petitions for the souls we have in mind, but directs these to other souls.
Hence, although we do not relieve the souls we intended to relieve in their
purgatorial suffering, still our prayer is not lost.
742 My daughter,
if I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first
to distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds
of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to
your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to
excuse or absolve yourself from it. I am giving you three ways of exercising
mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the second-by word, the
third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy,
and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul
glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter
is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the
worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through
the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall
grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My
mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works. O
my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how
very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.
755 O my Jesus, teach
me to open the bosom of mercy and love to everyone who asks for it. Jesus, my
Commander, teach me so that all my prayers and deeds may bear the seal of
Your mercy.
860 There are times
in life when the soul finds comfort only in profound prayer. Would that souls
knew how to persevere in prayer at such times. This is very important.
996 February 28,
1937. Today, I was undergoing the Passion of Jesus for a longer time, and
thus I saw that many souls were in need of prayer. I feel that I am being
completely transformed into prayer in order to beg God's mercy for every
soul. O my Jesus, I am receiving You into my heart as a pledge of mercy for
souls.
1103 + The
quintessence of love is sacrifice and suffering. Truth wears a crown of
thorns. Prayer involves the intellect, the will, and the emotions.
1133 27 [May 1937].
Corpus Christi.
During prayer, I
heard these words: My daughter, let your heart be filled with joy. I, the
Lord, am with you. Fear nothing. You are in My heart. At that moment, I
knew the great majesty of God, and I understood that nothing could be
compared with one single perception of God. Outward greatness dwindles
like a speck of dust before one act of a deeper knowledge of God.
1156 The second is prayer
joined to the act of mercy. In particular, they will defend the souls of
children against the spirit of evil. Prayer and merciful deeds are all that
will be required of these souls, and even the poorest persons can be admitted
to their number. And in this egoistic world they will try to rouse up love,
the mercy of Jesus.
1265 Prayer. O Jesus,
stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing
faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and
everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and
difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength
flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, "Your
will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the world, Lover of man's salvation,
who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the
salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget
myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of
salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father....
1420 When I steeped
myself in prayer, I was transported in spirit to the chapel, where I saw the
Lord Jesus, exposed in the monstrance. In place of the monstrance, I saw the
glorious face of the Lord, and He said to me, What you see in reality,
these souls see through faith. Oh, how pleasing to Me is their great
faith! You see, although there appears to be no trace of life in Me,
in reality it is present in its fullness in each and every Host. But
for Me to be able to act upon a soul, the soul must have faith. O how
pleasing to Me is living faith!
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-17-18, 32, 41, 55, 62, 91-92, 94-95)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-97-98, 102, 106-107, 111, 114-115)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-129, 132, 136, 139, 145-150, 155, 166)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-170, 186-187, 239, 245, 268)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-621, 742, 755, 860, 996)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1103, 1133, 1156)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1265)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1420)
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Hulyo 28, 2019
Longing to Be with the Father-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
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