A Decisive Response
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November 30, 2019. Feast of Saint Andrew,
apostle
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By
Father Edward Hopkins, LC
Matthew
4:18-22
As Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter, and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea; they were fishermen. He said to them, "Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. He walked along from there and saw two other brothers, James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They were in a boat, with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.
Introductory Prayer: Dear
Jesus, I believe that You have called me to follow You more closely today. I trust
that in this prayer, You will help me see the concrete implications of
following Your will. I love You and want to respond to all that You ask of
me, today and always. Thank You for watching over me and guiding me home to
heaven.
Petition: Make me
a fisher of men, here and now, Lord!
1.
As Jesus Walked By: One summer afternoon a
priest just happened to be in the area and visited my home. Within three
years, two of my brothers and I were following Christ on the road to the
priesthood. Jesus didn’t just happen to walk by these two pairs of brothers!
He had every intention of inviting those brothers to become “fishers of men.”
How much happens in my life, prepared and intended by God, to help me follow
him more closely? And all I see is an accident, a coincidence? Ask him when
was the last time he just happened by.
2. At Once They Followed Him: Jesus
never calls someone when it’s perfectly convenient, when that person has
nothing better to do. No, he calls precisely when we are in the middle of
living our life, doing what we do best, what we do most, “casting or mending
our nets.” “What a losing formula!” we are tempted to conclude. Yet what is
it he really wants of us when he calls? He wants a response -- a reply of
love. Love is all about preference and priority. If I love him more than
myself, I can follow him “at once.” If I prefer him over my own activities
and life, I can follow him “immediately.” What is the response of love I am
giving or want to give Jesus today in my life?
3. They Left Something Behind: “Pro-choice:”
That’s what God is! He wants us to choose. But he is not indifferent about
what we choose. Every choice implies the rejection of other options. We
cannot follow someone somewhere without leaving something and someone else
behind. Peter and Andrew left their nets behind. James and John left their
boat and their father behind. This was possible only with Jesus before them.
Yet we, too, often try to follow Christ without leaving things and others
behind: the world, comforts, my preferences... We think that we can have it
all. We can’t. We are in danger of “taming our faith,” bending to the demands
of our passions and the world’s insistence. Love requires a choice, a choice
for the real, complete Jesus. It asks me to reject everything in me that is
not him. How wholehearted is my following of Christ?
Conversation with Christ: Lord Jesus, You have called me and continue to call me throughout this day. Help me to respond with love, a love that trumps all my other loves, likes and desires. I don’t want You to have to wait for me, Lord. Just show me what You want and give me the courage and generosity to give it to You, no matter the cost.
Resolution: I
will give up something today that diminishes the attention that I give to my
spouse, family or friends
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed -
the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did
not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and
began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is
silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like
white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear
the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the
cell after nine without permission. [8]
After a while a brightness filled my cell, and on the
curtain I saw the very sorrowful Face of Jesus. There were open wounds on His
Face, and large tears were falling on my bedspread. Not knowing what all this
meant, I asked Jesus, “Jesus who has hurt You so?” And Jesus said to me, It
is you who will cause Me this pain if you leave this convent. It is to this
place that I called you and nowhere else; and I have prepared many graces for
you. I begged pardon of Jesus and immediately changed my decision.
The next day was confession day. I related all that had
taken place in my soul, and the confessor answered that, from this, God's
will is clear that I am to remain in this congregation and that I'm not even
to think of another religious order. From that moment on, I have always felt
happy and content.
64 When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a
sister who had gone for her third probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the
kitchen], I stayed a little longer than two months. One day, the Mother
Superior [Irene[34]], wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me
permission to go, together with another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk
the paths," as they say. I was delighted. Although it was not very far,
it was Mother Superior's wish that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus
said to me, I want you to stay home. I answered, "Jesus, everything is
ready for us to leave tomorrow morning; what am I to do now?" The Lord
answered, This trip will be harmful to your soul. I replied to Jesus,
"You can find a way out. Arrange things in such a way that Your will may
be done." At that moment the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave
Jesus a parting glance and went to my cell.
Next morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion
was filled with joy at the prospect of the great pleasure we would have in
getting to see everything. But as for me, I was sure we would not go, even
though there were no obstacles so far.
We were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right
after the thanksgiving. But during the time of Communion, all of a sudden,
the weather changed. Clouds covered the sky, and the rain came down in
torrents. Everyone was astounded at such a sudden change in the weather.
Mother Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you
cannot go, Sisters!" I answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really
matter that we cannot go; it was God's will that we stay home." However,
no one knew that it was Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the
whole day in recollection and meditation, thanking the Lord for having kept
me home. That day, God granted me many heavenly consolations.
75 But these doubts always come from without, a fact which
inclined me to close myself up more and more within myself. When, during
confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my
soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at
peace with himself will not be able to inspire peace in another soul.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls,
let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was
not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me
this grace.
170 The first day of the retreat. I tried to be the first
in the chapel in the morning; before the meditation I had a bit of time for
prayer to the Holy Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of
God to obtain for me the grace of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of
faithfully carrying out God's will, whatever it might be. I began this
retreat with a very special kind of courage.
279 God made known to me what true love consists in and
gave light to me about how, in practice, to give proof of it to Him. True
love of God consists in carrying out God's will. To show God our love in what
we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from our love of God. And
the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me most by suffering. In your
physical as well as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy
from creatures. I want the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and
unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures, but
also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart,
a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to
love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of
Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I
declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ,
Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion
of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy.
This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will,
all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In
return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my
communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy
Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows
of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I
want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness.
I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my
portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own
strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I
will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following
prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart
of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S. M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament Holy Thursday,
during Holy Mass, March 29, 1934.
354 As I was talking to a certain person[84] who was to
paint the image but, for certain reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice
in my soul: I want her to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no
matter how great, are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of
obedience; I am speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to
know Your will in the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly
before our eyes from morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we
have our superiors through whom God speaks.
395 [February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents'
home [92] to see my dying mother.
When I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near
death, and that she had asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once
more before dying, a host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child
who sincerely loves its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I
left this to God and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed
to the ache in my heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name
day, February fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family
and granted me permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and
request of my dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary
preparations for the journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the
whole night for my seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace
of losing none of the merits of her suffering.
435 As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I
heard these words: By your entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain
mercy for yourselves and for the world. I understood that I would not remain
in the Congregation in which I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that
God's will regarding me was otherwise. But 1 kept making excuses before God,
telling Him that I was unable to carry out this task. "Jesus, You know
very well what I am" [I said], and I started enumerating my weaknesses
to the Lord, hiding behind them so that He would agree that I was unable to
carry out His plans. Then I heard these words: Do not fear; I myself will
make up for everything that is lacking in you. But these words penetrated me
to my depths and made me even more aware of my misery, and I understood that
the word of the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the very depths. I
understood that God demands a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept
using my incompetence as an excuse.
439 Then came the moment to receive Holy Communion, and
Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great brightness. Then I heard these words: We
give Our blessing, and at that moment a bright ray issued from that light and
pierced my heart; an extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I thought I
would die of joy and happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit from my
body. I felt totally immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty,
like a particle of dust, into unknown expanses.
Trembling with joy in the embrace of the Creator, I felt
He himself was supporting me so that I could bear this great happiness and
gaze at His Majesty. I know now that, if He himself had not first strengthened
me by His grace, my soul would not have been able to bear the happiness, and
I would have died in an instant. Holy Mass came to an end I know not when,
for it was beyond my power to pay attention to what was going on in the
chapel. But when I recovered my senses, I felt the strength and courage to do
God's will; nothing seemed difficult to me; and whereas I had previously been
making excuses to the Lord, I now felt the Lord's courage and strength within
me, and I said to the Lord, "I am ready for every beck and call of Your
will!" Interiorly, I had gone through everything that I war going to
experience in the future.
444 The priest spoke these profound words to me,
"There are three degrees in the accomplishment of God's will: in the
first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes pertaining to external
observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior inspirations and
carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul, abandoned to the
will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God does with it as He
pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands." And the priest said that
I was at the second degree in the accomplishment of God's will and that I had
not yet reached the third degree, but that I should strive to attain it.
These words pierced my soul. I see clearly that God often gives the priest
knowledge of what is going on in the depths of my soul. This does not
surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that He has such chosen persons.
477 Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A
talkative soul will never attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off
everything that would like to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words
and quickly want to answer back, without taking any regard as to whether it
is God's will that we should speak. A silent soul is strong; no adversities
will harm it if it perseveres in silence. The silent soul is capable of
attaining the closest union with God. It lives almost always under the
inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God works in a silent soul without hindrance.
479 My second confession to the Archbishop
[Jalbrzykowski]. "Know, my daughter, that if this is the will of God, it
will take place sooner or later, for God's will must be done. Love God in
your heart, have..." ( unfinished thought].
506 "Do
nothing without the consent of the superiors. One must think this matter over
thoroughly and pray much. One must be very careful about these things
because, in your present situation, Sister, the will of God is certain and
clear, for you are in fact bound to this Congregation by vows, and perpetual
vows at that; so there should be no doubt. What you are experiencing
interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings of a project. God can make some
alterations, but such things are very rare. Don't be in a hurry, Sister,
until you have received more precise knowledge. The works of God proceed
slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely recognize them clearly. If
they are not, they will disappear; and you, by being obedient, will not go astray.
Speak frankly about everything to your confessor and obey him blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for
you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will
become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as
regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of
obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will
not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far
away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive
them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very
good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything
contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it
would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the
world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with
him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your
duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no
matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place,
and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in
your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the
entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to
God."
515 In the evening, when I was walking in the garden
saying my rosary and came to the cemetery,[102] I opened the gate a little
and began to pray for a while, and I asked them interiorly, "You are
very happy are you not?" Then I heard the words, "We are happy in
the measure that we have fulfilled God's will"-and then silence as
before. I became introspective and reflected for a long time on how I am
fulfilling God's will and how I am profiting from the time that God has given
me.
518 + Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at
dusk. Although it was locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said,
"If you need something, my dear little souls, I will be glad to help you
to the extent that the rule permits me." I then heard these words,
"Do the will of God; we are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled
God's will."
527 On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and
fulfill whatever God is demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment
and heard a voice in my soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I
will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt
extraordinary strength, and all the adversities that could befall me in
carrying out God's will seemed as nothing to me.
585 January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop
[Jalbrzykowski], I told him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy
upon the world and that there be a religious congregation which would entreat
the mercy of God for the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus
was demanding of me. The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for
prayer, I give my permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much
as possible for the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all
need; and I presume that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray
for this intention. But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister,
so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good
in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be
done, whether it be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be?
There are so many different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to
be if God so wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things.
Strive for a close union with God and do not lose heart." These words
filled me with great joy.
615 March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a
strange force and urge to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear
understanding of the things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to
say that I do not understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying,
because the Lord is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly
that I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it
would be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which
the Lord wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a
great number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which
to realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be
to resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it
persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery,
friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing
now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hellnothing
will deter me from doing the will of God.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His
omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will
also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much
my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and
there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the
Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If
it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but
Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go
through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You
send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first
to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal
Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that
Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your
will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an
extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and
that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me
back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy
will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many
days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone
about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked
that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed
earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in
the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me.
But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence,
and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew
my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I
could begin to act.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all
sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is
maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light
and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense
against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by
God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An
extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that,
despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I
knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have
come to know it, O God.
667 July 14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from
Father Sopocko [135]]. O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep
silent and will not say anything about it to any creature, because I know
that no one will comfort me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy
will is my nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in eternity.I
have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to
follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
713 October 11. This evening, as I was writing about this
great mercy of God and its great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my
room with great anger and fury. He seized the screen and began to break and
crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign
of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and
disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure but only his
anger. Satan's anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or
broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not
touch me without God's willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to
attack me openly and with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb
my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him furious.
830 O Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my
mind and strengthen my will that I may not give up in times of great
affliction. May Your light dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your
omnipotence act through me. I trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant
Jesus, are a model for me in accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said,
"Behold, I come to do Your will." Grant that I also may do God's
will faithfully in all things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894 Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass,
but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my
confessor, [162] in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is
God's will, Sister, that you should get well, and you must not undertake
mortifications of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for
it." I felt that the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although
it made me sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the
grace of seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above
everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I
suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me
greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and
mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious
of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
924 Today, I received a note from Mother Superior
forbidding me to go to the bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the
dying obedience in place of self, and it will support the souls who are
dying. Such is God's will, and that is enough for me. That which I cannot
understand now I will learn later.
937 + I will say a word more about my spiritual director
[Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few
priests who know how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that
it can make constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a
soul, even of lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I
discovered a secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual
director, does not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And
when the soul notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert
itself and does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and
also avoids the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little
stones, there rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary,
if the soul notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it
likewise neglects them and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor
and, worse still, will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus,
instead of going forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of
the situation only when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here,
a serious question poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the
confessor; that is to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame
should be put on the imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have
taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The director could well have
led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity.
938 The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater
length for a director and should have asked the Lord himself to choose a
spiritual director for it. What begins in God will be godly, and what begins
in a purely human manner will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order
to help a soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the
soul concerning the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths
of its soul just as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when
the soul considers and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it
should pray fervently for the confessor that he might have the divine light
to know it well. And let it not change such a director except for a serious
reason. Just as it had prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn
God's will before choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at
great length to discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this
director and choose another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should
not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan
wants just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct
himself because then, without doubt, he will never attain it.
956 + After these words, the knowledge of God's will came
to me; that is to say, I now see everything from a higher point of view and
accept all events and things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens
of the heavenly Father's special affection.
981 I understood that these two years of interior
suffering which I have undergone in submission to God's will in order to know
it better have advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years.
For two years now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is
to say, I am bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God
himself. And on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and
so my inner torture is so great that no one will either understand or imagine
these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up
my life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not
even going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what
it is like to know God's will directly and at the same time to be perfectly
obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors.
Thanks be to God that He has given me a director; otherwise, I would not have
advanced one single step.
1004 O will of the Omnipotent God,
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my
soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my
heart.
+ J.M.J. Cracow, March 1, 1937. + Third Notebook God and
Souls.
1088 Sudden return of health.
After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday,
April 11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but
waited for a clear sign of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I
had to go to bed. The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that,
if this repeats a few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091 Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that
you are in good health.
I neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good
health. I only know that I am enjoying good health at present. The future
does not belong to me. I asked for this health as evidence of God's will and
not in order to seek relief from my suffering.
1101 In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My
daughter, know that I shall speak to you in a special way through this priest
[Father Plaza [191]] so that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes.
Already in the first meditation my soul was struck by the following words of
the priest: I must not oppose God's will and God's designs, whatever they
might be; and as soon as 1 am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity
of the will of God, I have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me
from this. Whatever the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I
ought to carry it out. This is just a very short summary, but the whole
meditation imprinted itself on my soul, and I have no doubts about anything.
I know what God wants of me, and what I ought to do.
August 15, 1937. Father Andrasz's instructions.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark awareness of
one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how
little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should
appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties,
faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the
matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to
allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I
cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself
you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great
reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will
in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not
allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will
give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the
hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence
pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of
Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the
Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very
pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered all
the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She
clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to
me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the
Mother of God said, Everyone who
perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of
purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by the following
virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor;
compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole Congregation
disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who
instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to my life,
submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to
please God without obeying His holy will. My
daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes,
for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that you
distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put
the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly
Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God was
entering my soul.
1276 September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a
Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today, but God's will was otherwise.
At eight o'clock I was seized with such violent pains that I had to go to bed
at once. I was convulsed with pain for three hours; that is, until eleven
o'clock at night. No medicine had any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed
I threw up. At times, the pains caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me
realize that in this way I took part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He
himself allowed these sufferings in order to offer reparation to God for the
souls murdered in the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through these
sufferings three times now. They always start at eight o'clock in the evening
and last until eleven. No medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven
o'clock comes, they cease by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment.
The following day, I feel very weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the
sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or
medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the
sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I
experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of
pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the
Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may
perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll
ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to
send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one
soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
1301 It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much
light from God concerning this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to
carry out the Lord's wishes, although it was not until two years after the
revelation that she became my superior. And despite this fact, she was the
first to go with me when the painting of the image was first undertaken. And
now again, when some things concerning the Divine Mercy are being published,
and small holy cards are being printed, again it is she who is going with me
[to take care of] this matter. God has ordained all this in a mysterious way,
because this was begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has so directed the
circumstances that this matter is being continued in Cracow. I know how
pleasing this superior is to God; I see how God is directing everything and
wants me to be under her protection during these important times.... Thank
You, Lord, for such superiors, who live in the love and fear of God. That is
why I pray for her most of all, because she has put herself out the most for
the sake of this work of Divine Mercy....
1389 O my Jesus, although I have such very strong
impulsions, I am to act on them slowly, and this only in order not to spoil
Your work with my haste. O my Jesus, You give me to know Your mysteries, and
You want me to transmit them to other souls. Soon now it will be possible for
me to act. At the moment of apparent absolute destruction, my mission, now no
longer hindered by anything, will begin. Such is the will of God in this, and
it will not change; although many persons will oppose it, nothing will change
God's will.*
1431 Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to
bear being the object of the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about
my food]. At such times, as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before
the ciborium and there draw strength to accept God's will. That which I have
written is not yet everything.
1525 One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me
for prayers, telling me that she could no longer stand things as they were.
"And so, please pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I began
a novena to The Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the grace,
but that she would once again be dissatisfied when she received it. However,
I kept on praying as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same sister
came looking for me, and when we again began to talk about the same thing, I
told her, "You know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord
God to give us what we want, but we should rather submit to His holy
will." But she thought that what she was asking for was indispensable.
Towards the end of the novena, the sister came again and said, "O
Sister, the Lord Jesus has given me the grace, but now I am of a different
mind. Please pray so that things will somehow be different again." I
answered, "Yes, I will pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister,
and not what you want."
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-I-19, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354, 395, 435)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-I-439, 444, 477, 479, 506, 515, 518)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 666-667, 713, 830, 894)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-II-924, 937-938, 956, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276, 1301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina
Kowalska Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1525)
|
Nobyembre 30, 2019
A Decisive Response-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
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