Put God at the
Center
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March 11, 2020.
Wednesday of the Second Week of Lent
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Matthew 20: 17-28
As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took
the twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way,
"Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed
over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to
death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and
crucified, and he will be raised on the third day." Then the mother of
the sons of Zebedee approached him with her sons and did him homage, wishing
to ask him for something. He said to her, "What do you wish?" She
answered him, "Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your
right and the other at your left, in your kingdom." Jesus said in reply,
"You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I am
going to drink?" They said to him, "We can." He replied,
"My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my
left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared
by my Father." When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two
brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, "You know that the rulers of
the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over
them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be
great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you
shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to
serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, though I cannot see You with my eyes,
I believe You are present to me now, in my innermost being, and that You know
me far better than I know myself. I also know that You love me much more than
I love my own self. Thank You for loving and watching over me, though I don’t
deserve Your love. In return, I offer You my sorrow for my sins and my hopes
to love You more each day.
Petition: Lord, wean me from dependence on human
honors and approval.
1. Seeking the Limelight: James and John rub shoulders with that
temptation the devil puts before every apostle: “What’s in it for me, Lord?”
We start out our apostolic work with purity of intention, but if we are
careless, it soon becomes “purely attention.” That is why we should always be
willing to submit our work to the approval of the proper ecclesiastical authorities.
Christ steered clear from all power grabs and squabbles. John would alert
Christ, “Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name, and we
tried to prevent him because he does not follow us.” Christ simply replied,
“Do not prevent him … for whoever is not against us is for us” (Mark 9:38-9).
2. Christ is Never Discouraged: Christ has just told his apostles of his
passion, and it weighs heavily on his heart. Drowning in their own
fascination for recognition, however, they are completely oblivious to
Christ’s sufferings. He doesn’t let himself get discouraged. Rather, he gently
helps them to look beyond themselves to follow his lead of self-giving to the
point of death.
3. Putting Others First: “Do not work for food that perishes but for
the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you”
(John 6:27). Human recognition is passing; it doesn’t even last a lifetime.
Even in heaven human recognition will be useless—our eyes will be fixed on
God, not on each other or ourselves. However, we do know by faith that God
will reward us in heaven according to our merits. He will exalt us for
serving others, especially when we bring others to love and serve him. Am I
convinced of this? What ephemeral honors am I hankering after? How can I put
Christ and serving him first in my life?
Conversation with Christ: Dear Jesus, too often I compare myself with
others. It´s easy for me to find or imagine my superiority. I ignore You and
Your great goodness. I forget that everything I have comes from You and that
I can´t claim credit for any of my qualities and virtues. Help me to keep
this truth in mind so I may have an attitude of genuine humility in my heart.
Resolution: I will pray a special prayer for humility every day this
week.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
92 Humiliation is my
daily food. I understand that the bride must herself share in everything that
is the groom's; and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those
times when I suffer much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue
which, at such moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to
help me praise God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me.
When I receive Jesus in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal
my tongue so that I would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my
tongue to praise God without cease. Great are the faults committed by the
tongue. The soul will not attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its
tongue.
178 Today we are
beginning the third probation. All three of us met at Mother Margaret's, as
the other sisters were having their probation in the novitiate. Mother
Margaret began with a prayer, explained to us what the third probation
consists of, and then spoke on how great is the grace of the perpetual vows.
Suddenly I began to cry out loud. In an instant all God's graces appeared
before the eyes of my soul, and I saw myself so wretched and ungrateful
toward God. The sisters began to rebuke me, saying, "Why did she break
out crying?" But Mother Margaret came to my defense, saying that she was
not surprised.
At the end of the hour, I went before the Blessed Sacrament and, like the greatest and most miserable of wretches, I begged for His mercy that He might heal and purify my poor soul. Then I heard these words, My daughter, all your miseries have been consumed in the flame of My love, like a little twig thrown into a roaring fire. By humbling yourself in this way, you draw upon yourself and upon other souls an entire sea of My mercy. I answered, "Jesus, mold my poor heart according to Your divine delight."
224 To suffer without complaining, to bring
comfort to others and to drown my own sufferings in the most Sacred Heart of
Jesus!
I will spend all my free moments at the feet of [Our Lord in] the Blessed Sacrament. At the feet of Jesus, I will seek light, comfort and strength. I will show my gratitude unceasingly to God for His great mercy towards me, never forgetting the favors He has bestowed on me, especially the grace of a vocation. I will hide myself among the sisters like a little violet among lilies. I want to blossom for my Lord and Maker, to forget about myself, to empty myself totally for the sake of immortal souls-this is my delight.
270 Without humility, we cannot be pleasing
to God. Practice the third degree of humility;[76] that is, not only must one refrain from explaining
and defending oneself when reproached with something, but one should rejoice
at the humiliation.
If the things you are telling me really come from God, prepare your soul for great suffering. You will encounter disapproval and persecution. They will look upon you as a hysteric and an eccentric, but the Lord will lavish His graces upon you. True works of God always meet opposition and are marked by suffering. If God wants to accomplish something, sooner or later He will do so in spite of the difficulties. Your part, in the meantime, is to arm yourself with great patience.
282 Once the Lord said to me, My
Heart was moved by great mercy towards you, My dearest child, when I saw you
torn to shreds because of the great pain you suffered in repenting for your
sins. I see your love, so pure and true that I give you first place among the
virgins. You are the honor and glory of My Passion. I see every abasement of
your soul, and nothing escapes my attention. I lift up the humble even to my
very throne, because I want it so.
294 +Once the Lord
said to me, Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets
more alms [than he asked for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too
should not back away and say that you are not worthy of receiving greater
graces when I give them to you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the
more and take as many treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you
will please Me more. And I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces
not only for yourself, but also for others; that is, encourage the souls with
whom you come in contact to trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those
souls who have complete confidence in Me. I will do everything for them.
511 When my
intentions are not recognized, but rather condemned, I am not too much
surprised, for I know that it is only God who scrutinizes my heart. Truth
will not die; the wounded heart will regain peace in due time, and my spirit
is strengthened through adversities. I do not always listen to what my heart
tells me, but I keep asking God for light; and when I feel l have regained my
equilibrium, then I say more.
552 In addition to
the vows, I see one rule as most important. Although all the rules are
important, I put
this one in first place, and it is silence. Truly, if this rule were to be
observed strictly, I would not worry about the others. Women are very fond of
talking, but the Holy Spirit does not speak to a soul that is distracted and
garrulous. He speaks by His quiet inspirations to a soul that is recollected,
to a soul that knows how to keep silence. If silence were strictly observed, there
would not be any grumbling, bitterness, slandering, or gossip, and charity
would not be tarnished. In a word, many wrongs would not be done. Silent lips
are pure gold and bear witness to holiness within.
580 On a certain
occasion, the Lord said to me, I am more deeply wounded by the small
imperfections of chosen souls than by the sins of those living in the world. It
made me very sad that chosen souls make Jesus suffer, and Jesus told
me, These little imperfections are not all. I will reveal to you a secret
of My Heart: what I suffer from chosen souls. Ingratitude in return for so
many graces is My Heart's constant food, on the part of [such] a chosen soul.
Their love is lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear it; these souls force Me to
reject them. Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience
that sweet intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the
distance, and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very
much. If My death has not convinced you of My love, what will? Often a soul
wounds Me mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to
offend Me. There are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of
My love. They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of
hell. The loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God though I am,
I cannot help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can
spurn Me or love Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell all the
world about My goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart.
581 I will tell you most when you converse with Me in the depths of your heart. Here, no one can disturb My actions. Here, I rest as in a garden enclosed.
587 Once, I suddenly
saw Jesus in great majesty, and He spoke these words to me: My
daughter, if you wish, I will this instant create a new world, more beautiful
than this one, and you will live there for the rest of your life. I
answered, "I don't want any worlds. I want You, Jesus. I want to love
You, with the same love that You have for me. I beg You for only one thing:
to make my heart capable of loving you. I am very much surprised at Your
offer, my Jesus; what are those worlds to me? Even if You gave me a thousand
of them, what are they to me? You know very well, Jesus, that my heart is
dying of longing for You. Everything that is not You is nothing to me."
-At that moment, I could no longer see anything, but a strange force took
over my soul, a strange fire sprang up in my heart, and I entered into a kind
of agony for Him. Then I heard these words: With no other soul do I
unite myself as closely and in such a way as I do with you, and this because
of the deep humility and ardent love which you have for Me.
605 O Holy Trinity,
Eternal God, I thank You for allowing me to know the greatness and the
various degrees of glory to which souls attain. Oh, what a great difference
of depth in the knowledge of God there is between one degree and another! Oh,
if people could only know this! O my God, if I were thereby able to attain
one more degree, I would gladly suffer all the torments of the martyrs put
together. Truly, all those torments seem as nothing to me compared with the
glory that is awaiting us for all eternity. O Lord, immerse my soul in the
ocean of Your divinity and grant me the grace of knowing You; for the better
I know You, the more I desire You, and the more my love for You grows. I feel
in my soul an unfathomable abyss which only God can fill. I lose myself in
Him as a drop does in the ocean. The Lord has inclined himself to my misery
like a ray of the sun upon a barren and rocky desert. And yet, under the
influence of His rays, my soul has become covered with verdure, flowers, and
fruit, and has become a beautiful garden for His repose.
838 + I marvel at how many humiliations and
sufferings that priest accepts in this whole matter. [153] I
see this at particular times, and I support him with my unworthy prayers.
Only God can give one such courage; otherwise one would give up. But I see
with joy that all these adversities contribute to God's greater glory. The
Lord has few such souls. O infinite eternity, you will make manifest the
efforts of heroic souls, because the earth rewards their efforts with hatred
and ingratitude. Such souls do not have friends; they are solitary. And in
this solitude, they gain strength; they draw their strength from God alone.
With humility, but also with courage, they stand firmly in the face of all
the storms that beat upon them. Like high-towering oaks, they are unmoved.
And in this there is just this one secret: that it's from God that they draw
this strength, and everything whatsoever they have need of, they have for
themselves and for others. They not only carry their own burden, but also
know how to take on, and are capable of taking on, the burdens of others.
They are pillars of light along God's ways; they live in light themselves and
shed light upon others. They themselves live on the heights, and know how to
show the way to lesser ones and help them attain those heights.
856 During the morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all things. I desire only God himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom beyond description. God imparts himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally saturated with bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true life and of inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because of this, [the soul] is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.
890 Love is a
mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and
pleasing to God. The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she
knows no slavish compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of
soul, because the love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything
that surrounds her makes her know that only God himself is worthy of her
love. A soul in love with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the
same dispositions as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest
tasks with great care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if,
after some time, something turns out to be less successful. She remains calm,
because at the time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it
happens that the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly,
leaves her, she then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul
understands that there are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her
will, she is always with God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in
battle; from afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle.
She knows she is not alone-God is her strength.
1260 Today I heard
these words: My daughter, be always like a little child towards those
who represent Me, otherwise you will not benefit from the graces I bestow on
you through them.
1293 It so happened
that I fell again into a certain error, in spite of a sincere resolution not
to do so-even though the lapse was a minor imperfection and rather
involuntary-and at this I felt such acute pain in my soul that I interrupted
my work and went to the chapel for a while. Falling at the feet of Jesus,
with love and a great deal of pain, I apologized to the Lord, all the more
ashamed because of the fact that in my conversation with Him after Holy
Communion this very morning I had promised to be faithful to Him. Then I
heard these words: If it hadn't been for this small imperfection, you
wouldn't have come to Me. Know that as often as you come to Me, humbling
yourself and asking My forgiveness, I pour out a superabundance of graces on
your soul, and your imperfection vanishes before My eyes, and I see only your
love and your humility. You lose nothing but gain much...
1306 + O humility,
lovely flower, I see how few souls possess you. Is it because you are so
beautiful and at the same time so difficult to attain? O yes, it is both the
one and the other. Even God takes great pleasure in her. The floodgates of
heaven are open to a humble soul, and a sea of graces flows down upon her. O
how beautiful is a humble soul! From her heart, as from a center, rises a
varied and most pleasing fragrance which breaks through the skies and reaches
God himself, filling His Most Sacred Heart with joy. God refuses nothing to
such a soul; she is all-powerful and influences the destiny of the whole
world. God raises such a soul up to His very throne, and the more she humbles
herself, the more God stoops down to her, pursuing her with His graces and
accompanying her at every moment with His omnipotence. Such a soul is most
deeply united with God. O humility, strike deep roots in my whole being. O
Virgin most pure, but also most humble, help me to attain deep humility. Now
I understand why there are so few saints; it is because so few souls are
deeply humble.
1313 O my Jesus, now
everything is clear to me, and I understand all that has just happened. I
somehow felt and asked myself what sort of a poor man is this who radiates
such modesty. From that moment on, there was stirred up in my heart an even
purer love toward the poor and the needy. Oh, how happy I am that my superiors
have given me such a task! I understand that mercy is manifold; one can do
good always and everywhere and at all times. An ardent love of God sees all
around itself constant opportunities to share itself through deed, word and
prayer. Now I understand the words which You spoke to me, O Lord, some time
ago.
1415 I
desire, My dearly beloved daughter, that you practice the three virtues that
are dearest to Me-and most pleasing to God. The first is humility, humility,
and once again humility; the second virtue, purity; the third virtue, love of
God. As My daughter, you must especially radiate with these virtues. When
the conversation ended, She pressed me to Her Heart and disappeared. When I
regained the use of my senses, my heart became so wonderfully attracted to
these virtues; and I practice them faithfully. They are as though engraved in
my heart.
1509 It often
happens when one is ill, as in the case of Job in the Old Testament, that as
long as one can move about and work, everything is fine and dandy; but when
God sends illness, somehow or other, there are fewer friends about. But yet,
there are some. They still take interest in our suffering and all that, but
if God sends a longer illness, even those faithful friends slowly begin to
desert us. They visit us less frequently, and often their visits cause
suffering. Instead of comforting us, they reproach us about certain things,
which is an occasion of a good deal of suffering. And so the soul, like Job,
is alone; but fortunately it is not alone, because Jesus Host is with it.
After having tasted
the above sufferings and spent a whole night in bitterness, the next
morning, when the
chaplain [Father Theodore] brought me Holy Communion, I had to
control myself by
sheer effort of will to keep from crying out at the top of my voice,
"Welcome, my
true and only Friend." Holy Communion gives me strength to suffer and
fight.
I wish to speak of
one more thing that I have experienced: when God gives neither death nor
health, and [when] this lasts for many years, people become accustomed to
this and consider the person as not being ill. Then there begins a whole
series of silent sufferings. Only God knows how many sacrifices the soul
makes.
Conference on
Sacrifice and Prayer.
1813 5. + Today, I
am not forcing myself to make any special preparation. I cannot think of
anything, though I feel many things. I long for the time when God will come
to my heart. I throw myself in His arms and tell Him about my inability and
my misery. I pour out all the pain of my heart, for not being able to love
Him as much as I want. I arouse within myself acts of faith, hope and charity
and live on that throughout the day.
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-92, 178, 224, 270, 282, 294)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-511, 552, 580, 581, 587, 605)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-838, 856, 890)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1260, 1293, 1306, 1313)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1415, 1509)
(Diary of Sister
Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1813)
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