A Heroic Example
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March 19, 2015. Solemnity
of Saint Joseph, husband of the Virgin Mary
|
Matthew
1:16, 18-21, 24a
Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband
of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ. Now this is how the
birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to
Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the
Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling
to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his
intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and
said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife
into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been
conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because
he will save his people from their sins." When Joseph awoke, he did as
the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.
Introductory Prayer: Lord, in spite of difficulties I trust in Your love and mercy.
I believe in You, I hope in You, and I love You above all things. These
ingredients – faith, hope and love – will help strengthen me for today’s
battle. Lord, I entrust myself to You unconditionally.
Petition: Lord, grant me a clean conscience like that of Your foster
father, Joseph.
1. My Situation: A danger could exist on our spiritual
journey. When everything is quiet, works well and is intelligible, or when
others esteem our efforts, our life seems to flourish. On the other hand,
when everything is tough, humiliating or painful, a repugnance seems to cast
a gray cloud over us. We may even begin to wonder if God still loves us. We
need to keep our faith in God strong always. Joseph is a good example for us
to emulate, for he did not become discouraged easily when undergoing trials.
2. A Clean Conscience: Joseph, a just man, wanted to believe Mary’s
story, but the facts were too harsh to comprehend. He loved and cared for
Mary, but he felt betrayed. Since he had a clean conscience, he tried to
dismiss the perfect dream of taking Mary to be his wife and decided to
divorce her quietly. God, seeing Joseph’s honesty, communicated to him the
truth about Mary’s integrity. A message in a dream was enough to convince his
willing heart. How willing am I to believe the works of God in my life? How
willing am I to fulfill God’s will?
3. Not All Is Easy for a Just Man: God chose a man of great integrity and
detail to shoulder the daunting responsibility of raising his Son. Would
Joseph ever have imagined that five months after taking Mary into his home he
would have to take her to Bethlehem without any comforts or security during
the journey? Would he ever have imagined that he would have to flee to Egypt,
dodging swords and soldiers? This was the price he paid for being an
honorable man. However, the Lord rewarded Joseph with being the foster father
of the Creator of the Universe, with all the blessings and satisfactions that
this would imply.
Conversation with Christ: O Christ, King and Lord, Your foster father Saint Joseph
provides me with an example of courage in bearing serenely the weight of life’s
crosses and difficulties. Help me to see the beauty of giving limitlessly and
surrendering my life to You.
Resolution: I will chat with Saint Joseph at some moment during the day,
asking him to teach me how to be serene in times of trial
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
6 I am to write [3] down the encounters of my soul with You, O
God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I am to write about You, O
Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor soul. Your holy will is the life of
my soul. I have received this order through him who is for me Your
representative here on earth, who interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You
see how difficult it is for me to write, how unable I am to put down clearly
what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen write down that for which many
a time there are no words? But You give the order to write, O God; that is
enough for me.
18 However, after three weeks I became aware that there is so very
little time here for prayer, and of many other things which spoke to my soul
in favor of entering a religious community of a stricter observance. This
thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the will of God was not in it.
Still, the thought, or rather the temptation, was growing stronger and
stronger to the point where I decided one day to announce my departure to
Mother Superior and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God arranged the
circumstances in such a way that I could not get to the Mother Superior
[Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for
light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a strange
unrest which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my
mind to approach Mother Superior the next morning right after Mass and tell
her of my decision.
18 However, after three weeks I became aware that there is so very
little time here for prayer, and of many other things which spoke to my soul
in favor of entering a religious community of a stricter observance. This
thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the will of God was not in it. Still,
the thought, or rather the temptation, was growing stronger and stronger to
the point where I decided one day to announce my departure to Mother Superior
and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God arranged the circumstances in
such a way that I could not get to the Mother Superior [Michael]. I stepped
into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for
light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a strange
unrest which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my
mind to approach Mother Superior the next morning right after Mass and tell
her of my decision.
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]
39 + One day Jesus told me that He would cause
a chastisement to fall upon the most beautiful city in our country [probably
Warsaw]. This chastisement would be that with which God had punished Sodom
and Gomorrah.[27] I saw the great wrath of God and a shudder
pierced my heart. I prayed in silence. After a moment, Jesus said to me, My
child, unite yourself closely to Me during the Sacrifice and offer My
Blood and My Wounds to My Father in expiation for the sins of that
city. Repeat this without interruption throughout the entire Holy
Mass. Do this for seven days. On the seventh day I saw Jesus in a bright
cloud and began to beg Him to look upon the city and upon our whole country.
Jesus looked [down] graciously. When I saw the kindness of' Jesus, I began to
beg His blessing. Immediately Jesus said, For your sake I bless the entire
country. And He made a big sign of the cross over our country. Seeing the
goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul.
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read. The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all. One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who
most faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of
Your inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my
own, though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the
will of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You
will permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be
helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with
which You speak to me.
552 In addition to the vows, I see one rule as most
important. Although all the rules are
important, I put this one in first place, and it is
silence. Truly, if this rule were to be observed strictly, I would not worry
about the others. Women are very fond of talking, but the Holy Spirit does
not speak to a soul that is distracted and garrulous. He speaks by His quiet
inspirations to a soul that is recollected, to a soul that knows how to keep
silence. If silence were strictly observed, there would not be any grumbling,
bitterness, slandering, or gossip, and charity would not be tarnished. In a
word, many wrongs would not be done. Silent lips are pure gold and bear
witness to holiness within.
608 February 2, [1936]. In the morning, when the bell
awoke me, I was so overcome by
drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped into
cold water, and after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to
meditation a host of absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I
had to struggle throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during
prayer time, but when Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart.
Just then, I saw Our Lady with the Infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St.
Joseph] standing behind them. The most holy Mother said to me, Take My
Dearest Treasure, and She handed me the Infant Jesus. When I took the
Infant Jesus in my arms, the Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I
was left alone with the Infant Jesus.
678 The essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the
will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and
circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy
will of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I
live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize
inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings,
persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than popularity,
praise and esteem by my own will.
724 On the eve of the retreat, I started to
pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could
take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps
it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a
strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began
to thank the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to
His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to
the will of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of
life, gives great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries
more weight with Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe
penances. Oh, how great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the
will of God! As I write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God
loves it and of the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth.
742 My daughter, if I demand through you
that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself
by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are
to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always
and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve
yourself from it.
I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.
846 December 25, [1936]. Midnight Mass. During Mass, God's
presence pierced me through and through. A moment before the Elevation I saw
the Mother of God and the Infant Jesus and the good Old Man [St. Joseph]. The
Most Holy Mother spoke these words to me: My daughter, Faustina,
take this most precious Treasure, and she gave me the Infant Jesus. When
I took Jesus in my arms, my soul felt such unspeakable joy that I am unable
to describe it. But, strange thing, after a short while Jesus became awful,
horrible-looking, grown up and suffering; and then the vision vanished, and
soon it was time to go to Holy Communion. When I received the Lord Jesus in
Holy Communion, my soul trembled under the influence of God's presence. The
next day, I saw the Divine Infant for a brief moment during the Elevation.
954 Today after Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My
delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you submit yourself to My
will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw down upon yourself a sea of
blessings. I would not take such special delight in you if you were not
living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am prepared for all sacrifices for
Your sake, but You know that I am weakness itself. Nevertheless, with You I
can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You, be with me at each instant.
1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I learned that I was to be
transferred to another house. My knowledge of this was purely interior. At
the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not be afraid, My daughter;
it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans will be thwarted,
since they must conform to My will.
1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said
to me, Why are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to
carry out? I answered, "Why do You leave me on my own at such times,
Jesus, and why do I not feel Your presence?" My daughter, even though
you do not perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still
cannot say that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My
presence, and that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will.
I do this to achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on.
My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else. 1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your misery does not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls-no one have I excluded! 1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without the will of God.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka
today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey.
But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and
had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray
of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace,
the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said, "Your will
be done, for everything is possible to You." When I was on the train and
gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the
torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began
to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled.
1200 I would have like to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God-and that has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels [cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].
1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or
receive Holy Communion today but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I
kept on repeating, "May the Lord's will be done. I know that Your bounty
is without limit." Then 1 heard an angel who sang out my whole life
history and everything it comprised. I was surprised, but also strengthened.
1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in
these days of suffering, I am not capable of any kind of prayer. The
oppression of my body and soul has increased. O my Jesus, You do see that
Your child is on the decline. I am not forcing myself further, but simply
submitting my will to the will of Jesus. O Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.
1205 When I went to confession, I did not
even know how to confess. However, the priest [probably Father Casimir
Ratkiewicz [205]] recognized the condition of my soul at
once and said to me, "Despite everything, you are on the way to
salvation; you are on the right path, but God may leave your soul in this
darkness and obscurity until death, and the former light may never return.
But in all things abandon yourself to the will of God."
1207 August 10. Today I am returning to
Cracow, in the company of one of the sisters. My soul is shrouded in
suffering. I am continually uniting myself to Him by an act of the will. He
is my power and strength.
1208 May You be blessed, O God, for
everything You send me. Nothing under the sun happens without Your will. I
cannot penetrate Your secrets with regard to myself, but I press my lips to
the chalice You offer me.
1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me
and what nothingness is penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone;
grant me the grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery
of God's visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.
1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see
the condition of my soul. Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I
cannot bring forth from my heart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet,
I cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As
for You, You are ever the same, while within my soul a change takes place. I
trust that the time will come when You will unveil Your countenance, and Your
child will again see Your sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can
hide yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the enormous love
You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am listening and waiting for
Your coming, O only Treasure of my heart!
1241 + O my Jesus, when someone is unkind
and unpleasant toward us, it is difficult enough to bear this kind of
suffering. But this is very little in comparison to a suffering which I
cannot bear; namely, that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness
towards me and then lays snares at my feet at every step I take. What great
will power is necessary to love such a soul for God's sake. Many a time one
has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If contact with that
person were infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but when one lives in
close contact with the person and experiences this at each step, this demands
a very great effort.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark
awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to
know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should
appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties,
faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the
matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy
at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out
in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh,
how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She
covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right
hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand
She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her
mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously
till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I
desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility
and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all
God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire
that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's
will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God
was entering my soul.
1255 "As concerns yourself, Sister, it
is good that you are remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything
that pertains to the will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state
of equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards
all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in
complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all
matters take counsel from your spiritual director. I beg you to keep your
levelheadedness and as great a calm as possible.One more thing-I am having
printed the chaplet which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the
invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on the back.
Another large image has also been printed, and with it a few pages which
contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy. [208] Pray, Sister, that this be
approved."
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko
left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the
great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I
became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a
priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My
daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I
shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls.
Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through
this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would
have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his
life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he
lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the
end of the world.
1262 September 3. First Friday of the month.
During Holy Mass, I became united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even
the smallest thing does not happen on earth without His will. After having
seen this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself completely
at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can deal with me as He
pleases, and I will bless Him for everything.
1264 Act of total abandonment to the will of
God, which is for me, love and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself. Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed. From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere.
1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the
cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy
will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will
of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg
You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my
lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the
world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget
Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus,
grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls,
helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your
Father....
1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The Lord let me know how much our dear
Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against... not only by prayer but
also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go unrequited in
my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.
1267 September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new
assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went in to talk to the Lord for a
while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully carry out the
duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I am always with
you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy which you
will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much pleasure if, each
evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task. I felt that
Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but, despite
this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
1268 Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has
given me many more opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so
happened that I was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the
kitchen made it clear to me how irritated she was that I had come late for
dinner, although it was quite impossible for me to have come sooner. At any
rate, I felt so unwell that I had to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie
down. I went to ask Sister N. to take my place, and again I got a scolding:
"What is this, Sister, you're so exhausted that you're going back to bed
again! Confound you with all this lying in bed!" I put up with all that,
but that wasn't the end. I still had to ask the sister who was in charge of
the sick to bring me my meal. When I told her this, she burst out of the chapel
into the corridor after me to give me a piece of her mind: "Why on earth
are you going to bed, Sister, etc...... I asked her not to bother bringing me
anything. I am writing all this very briefly because it is not my intention
to write about such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade souls from
treating others in this way, for this is displeasing to the Lord. In a
suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified, and not a loafer or burden on
the community. A soul who suffers with submission to the will of God draws
down more blessings on the whole convent than all the working sisters. Poor
indeed is a convent where there are no sick sisters. God often grants many
and great graces out of regard for the souls who are suffering, and He
withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering souls.
Conference on Sacrifice and Prayer.
1813 5. + Today, I am not forcing myself to make any
special preparation. I cannot think of anything, though I feel many things. I
long for the time when God will come to my heart. I throw myself in His arms
and tell Him about my inability and my misery. I pour out all the pain of my
heart, for not being able to love Him as much as I want. I arouse within
myself acts of faith, hope and charity and live on that throughout the day.
|
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-6, 19, 39, 77, 497)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-II-552, 608, 678, 724, 742, 846, 954)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1180-1184, 1199-1200, 1202, 1204)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1207-1208, 1237, 1239, 1241, 1244 )
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1255-1256, 1262, 1264-1268)
(Preparation
for Holy Communion-1813)
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