The Force of Love
Feast of Saint
Lawrence, deacon and martyr
John 12:24-26
Jesus said to his
disciples: “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the
ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces
much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this
world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and
where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves
me.”
Introductory
Prayer: Lord, today You give
me the example of St Lawrence. He gave his life so that Your name would be
honored and loved by all people. I would like to have the courage to follow his
example of courageous love and die to myself so that I will merit graces for
the many souls in need.
Petition:
Lord, help me to
forget myself and put your interests before mine.
1.
Christ’s Love: Christ
would never demand something of us that he has not already lived himself. There
is no deity worshiped by men, other than Jesus Christ, who has sacrificed his
life out of love for his believers. It is Christ’s sacrificial love which has
the power to multiply love in our lives. Christ’s act of selfless love gives
birth to other acts of the same kind.
2.
St Lawrence: St
Lawrence was a deacon of the early Church in the middle of the third century.
He died a martyr by being roasted slowly on a grill. When he had been grilled
for some time he asked his murderers to turn him over so as to “grill the other
side”! Lawrence’s faith and courageous love are fruits of Christ’s sacrifice.
Although we may not be called to such heroism, Christ won the same grace for us
to bear our crosses and live a life of selfless love and generosity.
3.
Fruit of Fidelity: When we reflect on the lives of the saints we are inspired by
their faithful service to Christ and his Church. Their fidelity is a fruit of
Christ’s fidelity. Our own acts of fidelity will give life and courage to
others to do the same. Constant fidelity is above all the fruit of the grace of
God, and our cooperation with it. Constant fidelity until death is the fruit of
the fruits of this grace combined with our response. God is the one who creates
in a soul the indispensable greatness needed for fidelity. Above all, he grants
us the daily gift of his fortitude to persevere in it.
Dialogue
with Christ: Lord,
help me to be more generous in my daily commitments to You. Although You may
not be calling me to be a martyr like St Lawrence, please allow me to offer
small sacrifices each day for the Church and the salvation of souls.
Resolution:
I will offer a
sacrifice of fidelity to my prayer or apostolic commitments today for the souls
in purgatory.
Excerpts
from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I
stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His
Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five, those in His
hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete condition of my soul
as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to God. I did not
know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for. What
a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked
me, Who are you? I answered, "I am Your servant, Lord." You
are guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself
immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which
do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory or for a short while on earth?
I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want to suffer
also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end of the
world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back
to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish
My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do
this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength
and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help
nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but
don't let this frighten you; I am with you.
64 When I came to Vilnius
for two months to replace a sister who had gone for her third
probation [Sister Peter,
who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a little longer than two months. One day,
the Mother Superior [Irene[34]], wanting to give me a bit of
pleasure, gave me permission to go, together with another sister,[35] to
Calvary to "walk the paths," as they say. I was delighted. Although
it was not very far, it was Mother Superior's wish that we should go by boat.
That evening Jesus said to me, I want you to stay home. I answered,
"Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow morning; what am I to
do now?" The Lord answered, This trip will be harmful to your soul. I
replied to Jesus, "You can find a way out. Arrange things in such a way
that Your will may be done." At that moment the bell announced the time
for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and went to my cell.
Next morning the weather
was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at the
prospect of the great
pleasure we would have in getting to see everything. But as for me, I was sure
we would not go, even though there were no obstacles so far.
We were to receive Holy
Communion earlier and leave right after the thanksgiving. But
during the time of
Communion, all of a sudden, the weather changed. Clouds covered the sky, and
the rain came down in torrents. Everyone was astounded at such a sudden change
in the weather.
Mother Superior said to
me, "I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!" I answered, "Dear
Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it was God's will that we
stay home." However, no one knew that it was Jesus' express desire that I
stay home. I spent the whole day in recollection and meditation, thanking the
Lord for
having kept me home. That day, God granted me many heavenly consolations.
75
But these doubts always come from without, a fact which inclined me to close
myself up more and more within myself. When, during confession, I sense
uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not open my soul to its depths, but
only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself will
not be able to inspire peace in another soul.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170 The first day of the retreat. I
tried to be the first in the chapel in the morning; before the meditation I had
a bit of time for prayer to the Holy Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged
the Mother of God to obtain for me the grace of fidelity to these inner
inspirations and of faithfully carrying out God's will, whatever it might be. I
began this retreat with a very special kind of courage.
279 God made known to me what true love
consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give proof of it to
Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's will. To show God our love
in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from our love of
God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me most by suffering. In
your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek
sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and
unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also
from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure
love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love
suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God
and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth, before all the
choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of
heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ,
Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of
sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This
offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the
sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give
them all the consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In
a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances,
mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice,
because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends to
You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope
in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever,
I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that
flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of
self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself have
taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
354 As I was talking to a certain
person[84] who was to paint the image but, for certain reasons,
was not painting it, I heard this voice in my soul: I want her to be more
obedient. I understood that our efforts, no matter how great, are not
pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am speaking about
a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know Your will in the convent! We
religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes from morning till night,
and in moments of uncertainty we have our superiors through whom God speaks.
395 [February] 15, 1935. A
few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my
dying mother. When I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near death,
and that she had asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once more
before dying, a host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child who
sincerely loves its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left
this to God and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the
ache in my heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name day,
February fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family and
granted me permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and request
of my dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary preparations for the
journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for my
seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of the
merits of her suffering.
435 As I was walking in
the garden in the evening, I heard these words: By your entreaties, you and
your companions shall obtain mercy for yourselves and for the world. I understood
that I would not remain in the Congregation in which I am at the present time.[95] I saw
clearly that God's will regarding me was otherwise. But I kept making excuses
before God, telling Him that I was unable to carry out this task.
"Jesus, You know very well what I am" [I said], and I started
enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord, hiding behind them so that He
would agree that I was unable to carry out His plans. Then I heard these words:
Do not fear; I myself will make up for everything that is lacking in you. But
these words penetrated me to my depths and made me even more aware of my
misery, and I understood that the word of the Lord is living and that it
penetrates to the very depths. I understood that God demands a more
perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my incompetence as an
excuse.
439 Then came the moment to receive Holy
Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great brightness. Then I heard
these words: We give Our
blessing, and at that moment a bright ray issued from that
light and pierced my heart; an extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I
thought I would die of joy and happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit
from my body. I felt totally immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the
Almighty, like a particle of dust, into unknown expanses.
444 The priest spoke these profound
words to me, "There are three degrees in the
accomplishment of God's will: in the
first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes
pertaining to external observance; in
the second degree, the soul accepts interior inspirations and carries them out
faithfully; in the third degree, the soul, abandoned to the will of God, allows
Him to dispose of it freely, and God does with it as He pleases, and it is a
docile tool in His hands." And the priest said that I was at the second
degree in the accomplishment of God's will and that I had not yet reached the
third degree, but that I should strive to attain it. These words pierced my
soul. I see clearly that God often gives the priest knowledge of what is going
on in the depths of my soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank
God that He has such chosen persons.
477 Silence is a sword in the
spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never attain sanctity. The sword of
silence will cut off everything that would like to cling to the soul. We are
sensitive to words and quickly want to answer back, without taking any regard
as to whether it is God's will that we should speak. A silent soul 14 strong;
no adversities will harm it if it perseveres in silence. The silent soul is
capable of attaining the closest union with God. It lives almost always under the
inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God works in a silent soul without hindrance.
478 O my Jesus, You know, You alone know well
that m heart knows no other love but You! All my virginal love is drowned
eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your divine Blood is circulating
in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your most pure love has entered m
heart with Your most sacred Blood. I am aware did You are dwelling in me,
together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, or ratherIam aware that it is I
who it living in You, O incomprehensible God! I am aware that I am dissolving
in You like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that You are within me and all about
me, that You are in all things that surround me, in all that happens to me. O
my God, I have come to know You within my heart, and I have loved You above all
things that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts have a mutual
understanding, and no one of humankind will comprehend this.
506
"Do nothing without the consent of the superiors. One must think this
matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must be very careful about these
things because, in your present situation, Sister, the will of God is certain
and clear, for you are in fact bound to this Congregation by vows, and
perpetual vows at that; so there should be no doubt. What you are experiencing
interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings of a project. God can make some
alterations, but such things are very rare. Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until
you have received more precise knowledge. The works of God proceed slowly, but
if they are of Him, you will surely recognize them clearly. If they are not,
they will disappear; and you, by being obedient, will not go astray. Speak
frankly about everything to your confessor and obey him blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
518 +
Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was locked,
I managed to open the gate a bit and said, "If you need something, my dear
little souls, I will be glad to help you to the extent that the rule permits
me." I then heard these words, "Do the will of God; we are happy in
the measure that we have fulfilled God's will."
527 On one occasion, I felt an urge to
set to work and fulfill whatever God is demanding of me. I entered the chapel
for a moment and heard a voice in my soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that
I will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At that
moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength, and all the adversities that could
befall me in carrying out God's will seemed as nothing to me.
585
January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told him
that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that there
be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for the world.
I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me. The Arch
bishop answered me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my permission
and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for the world and
to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume that your
confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention. But as
regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things may arrange
themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but there is no need
to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it be a little sooner
or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many different kinds of
congregations; this one too will come to be if God so wills. Be completely at
peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a close union with God and
do not lose heart." These words filled me with great joy.
615 March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a
strange force and urge to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear
understanding of the things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to
say that I do not understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying,
because the Lord is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that
I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would
be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord
wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great number
of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to realize His
eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to resist God's
will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it persecution,
sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery, friendships,
adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing now or things
that will come in the future or even the hatred of hell-nothing will deter me
from doing the will of God.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
665 Father Andrasz told me to make a
novena for the intention of knowing better the will of God. I prayed ardently,
adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the end of the novena, I
received an inner light and the assurance that the Congregation will come into
being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the difficulties and adversities,
complete peace and strength entered my soul from on high. I understood that
nothing could resist or nullify the will of God. I understood that I must carry
out this will of God despite obstacles, persecution and sufferings of all
kinds, and despite natural repugnance and fear.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
667 July 14. I received a letter at
three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]].
O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say
anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort me.
You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I am
living now on what I will live on in eternity.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
713 October 11. This evening, as I
was writing about this great mercy of God and its great advantage to souls,
Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury. He seized the screen and
began to break and crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but I
immediately made the sign of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast
fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure
but only his anger. Satan's anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not
shattered or broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the wretch
will not touch me without God's willing it, but what is he up to? He is
beginning to attack me openly and with such great fury and hate, but he does
not disturb my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him
furious.
830 O Light Eternal, who come to this
earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my will that I may not give up in times
of great affliction. May Your light dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May
Your omnipotence act through me. I trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O
Infant Jesus, are a model for me in accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who
said, "Behold, I come to do Your will." Grant that I also may do
God's will faithfully in all things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894
Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy
Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162]
in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister,
that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any
kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that
the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss
Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant
Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
924 Today, I received a note from
Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the bedside of the dying. And so, I will
send to the dying obedience in place of self, and it will support the souls who
are dying. Such is God's will, and that is enough for me. That which I cannot
understand now I will learn later.
937 + I will say a word more about my
spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]].
It is strange that there are so few priests who know how to pour power,
strength and courage into a soul so that it can make constant progress without
getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of lesser strength, can do
much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a secret; namely, that the
confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does not make light of the trifles
that the soul brings to him. And when the soul notices that it is being
controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and does not omit the slightest
opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids the smallest faults. And from
these efforts, as with little stones, there rises within the soul a most
beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul notices that the confessor
neglects these little things, it likewise neglects them and ceases to give an
account of them to the confessor and, worse still, will begin to grow negligent
in little things. Thus, instead of going forward, it gradually retreats
backward and becomes aware of the situation only when it has already fallen
into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses itself: who is at
fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is to say, the director? It
seems to me that all the blame should be put on the imprudent director; the
soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The
director could well have led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity.
938 The soul should have prayed ardently and
at greater length for a director and should have asked the Lord himself to
choose a spiritual director for it. What begins in God will be godly, and what
begins in a purely human manner will remain human. God is so merciful that, in
order to help a soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten
the soul concerning the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden
depths of its soul just as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And
when the soul considers and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it
should pray fervently for the confessor that he might have the divine light to
know it well. And let it not change such a director except for a serious
reason. Just as it had prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn
God's will before choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at
great length to discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this
director and choose another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should
not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants
just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself
because then, without doubt, he will never attain it.
956 +
After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say, I
now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly Father's
special affection.
972 Today, the doctor decided that I
am to stay here until April. It is God's will, even though I did want to be back
in the company of my sisters.
981 I understood that these two years
of interior suffering which I have undergone in submission to God's will in
order to know it better have advanced me further in perfection than the
previous ten years. For two years now, I have been on the cross between heaven
and earth. That is to say, I am bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the
superior as God himself. And on the other hand, God makes His will known to me
directly, and so my inner torture is so great that no one will either
understand or imagine these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would
be easier to give up my life than to go again and again through one hour of
such pain. I am not even going to write much about this matter, because one
cannot describe what it is like to know God's will directly and at the same
time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly
through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has given me a director;
otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.
1004 O will of the Omnipotent God,
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
1088 Sudden return of health. After I
had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly became
so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear sign of
God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed. The coughing
racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a few more times,
it will surely be the end of me.
1091 Then I heard these words: Go
tell the superior that you are in good health. I neither know, nor ask how
long I will remain in good health. I only know that I am
enjoying good health at present. The
future does not belong to me. I asked for this health as evidence of God's will
and not in order to seek relief from my suffering.
1101 In the evening, I
heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I shall speak to you in
a special way through this priest [Father Plaza [191]] so
that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the first
meditation my soul was struck by the following words of the priest: I
must not oppose God's will and God's designs, whatever they might be;
and as soon as 1 am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity of
the will of God, I have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from
this. Whatever the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to
carry it out. This is just a very short summary, but the whole
meditation imprinted itself on my soul, and I have no doubts about
anything. I know what God wants of me, and what I ought to do.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark
awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to
know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should
appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties,
faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the
matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at
the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in
honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how
very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered
all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She
clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to
me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the
Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My
Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one
distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity
and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the
whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the
Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to
my life, submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for
one to please God without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I strongly recommend
that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His
holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this
faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all
sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a
deep understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1276 September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a Holy
Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today, but God's will was otherwise. At eight
o'clock I was seized with such violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I
was convulsed with pain for three hours; that is, until eleven o'clock at
night. No medicine had any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up.
At times, the pains caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that
in this way I took part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He himself allowed
these sufferings in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in
the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three times
now. They always start at eight o'clock in the evening and last until eleven.
No medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes, they cease
by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel very
weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
1301 It is extraordinary how Mother
Irene has so much light from God concerning this whole matter. She was the
first to allow me to carry out the Lord's wishes, although it was not until two
years after the revelation that she became my superior. And despite this fact,
she was the first to go with me when the painting of the image was first
undertaken. And now again, when some things concerning the Divine Mercy are
being published, and small holy cards are being printed, again it is she who is
going with me [to take care of] this matter. God has ordained all this in a
mysterious way, because this was begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has so
directed the circumstances that this matter is being continued in Cracow. I
know how pleasing this superior is to God; I see how God is directing
everything and wants me to be under her protection during these important
times.... Thank You, Lord, for such superiors, who live in the love and fear of
God. That is why I pray for her most of all, because she has put herself out
the most for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy....
1389 O my Jesus, although I have such
very strong impulsions, I am to act on them slowly, and this only in order not
to spoil Your work with my haste. O my Jesus, You give me to know Your
mysteries, and You want me to transmit them to other souls. Soon now it will be
possible for me to act. At the moment of apparent absolute destruction, my
mission, now no longer hindered by anything, will begin. Such is the will of
God in this, and it will not change; although many persons will oppose it,
nothing will change God's will.
1431 Nevertheless, when in the
refectory I still had to bear being the object of the frequent suspicion that I
was being fussy [about my food]. At such times, as always, I hasten to the
Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there draw strength to accept God's
will. That which I have written is not yet everything.
1521 The Lord said to me, My daughter, do not tire of
proclaiming My mercy. In this way you will refresh this Heart of Mine, which
burns with a flame of pity for sinners. Tell My priests that hardened sinners
will repent on hearing their words when they speak about My unfathomable mercy,
about the compassion I have for them in My Heart. To priests who proclaim and
extol My mercy, I will give wondrous power; I will anoint their words and touch
the hearts of those to whom they will speak.
1525 One day, a certain sister came to
me and asked me for prayers, telling me that she could no longer stand things
as they were. "And so, please pray, Sister." I answered that I would,
and I began a novena to The Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the
grace, but that she would once again be dissatisfied when she received it.
However, I kept on praying as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same
sister came looking for me, and when we again began to talk about the same
thing, I told her, "You know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the
Lord God to give us what we want, but we should rather submit to His holy
will." But she thought that what she was asking for was indispensable.
Towards the end of the novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister,
the Lord Jesus has given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please
pray so that things will somehow be different again." I answered,
"Yes, I will pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not
what you want."
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-36, 64, 75, 170, 279,
309, 354, 395, 435)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-439, 444, 477-478, 506,
515, 518)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 665-667,
713, 830)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-894, 924, 937-938, 956,
972, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276, 1301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1521, 1525)
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