Stronger Than Blood
|
Memorial of Saint Thomas Aquinas, priest and doctor of the Church |
Mark 3:31-35
His
mother and his brothers arrived. Standing outside they sent word to him and
called him. A crowd seated around him told him, "Your mother and your
brothers and your sisters are outside asking for you." But he said to
them in reply, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" And looking
around at those seated in the circle he said, "Here are my mother and my
brothers. For whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother."
Introductory
Prayer:
Today I want to
encounter You as a friend and brother, Lord. I believe that You want to
encounter me and transform me. Thank You for working in my heart, calling me
to a deeper identification with You. I trust that You will lead me along
paths of growth and fruitfulness.
Petition:
Lord, help me to put
my will in conformity with Yours.
1. Maybe He Needs a
Break: Jesus was very busy. Perhaps he was tired.
Perhaps his mother arrived to give him a bit of food or a word of encouragement.
But we find in today’s Gospel a Christ who is strong. He has strengthened
himself through intimate contact with the Father. He has filled his heart
with a love for souls. He finds nourishment in doing the Father’s will.
Surely his mother was encouraged by what she found. Do I let the will of God
be my strength? Does prayer transform me to the point where charity and
evangelization become my natural way of being?
2. Closeness for the
Right Reason: As Jesus taught and healed, people were naturally attracted
to him. Yet simply being physically close to him did not count. One had to
open one’s heart to receive his message of conversion. He was looking to
transform people, to make them capable of living as sons and daughters of
God. If I am willing to learn Jesus’ standards and act as he does, then I can
be close to him. He will allow me into his intimacy if I make God’s will
mine.
3. Accompanying
Christ:
There is a mysterious reality here. I can actually bring consolation to
Christ’s heart. I can accompany him on his divine mission. I must be willing
to renounce my will and do only the will of the Father. Can Christ point to
me and say, “He is my brother; she is my sister; she is my mother”? I must
look at my life and see what is not in conformity to his will. I must make a
firm resolution to show my faith and love in the very thing that is most
difficult for me.
Conversation
with Christ: Lord,
You give me this short life in order to become part of Your family. I want to
make the Father’s will my own as You did. Help me to put God’s will above
everything else, so that it becomes what I most deeply desire. Then I will
truly be Yours.
Resolution:
Today I will make an
act of charity towards someone with whom I find it difficult to get along.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
6 I am to write [3]
down the encounters of my soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your
special visitations. I am to write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy
towards my poor soul. Your holy will is the life of my soul. I have received
this order through him who is for me Your representative here on earth, who
interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for me to
write, how unable I am to put down clearly what I experience in my soul. O
God, can a pen write down that for which many a time there are no words? But
You give the order to write, O God; that is enough for me.
36 Once I was summoned to the
judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as
we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except
for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the
complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will
have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before
the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me, Who are you? I answered, "I
am Your servant, Lord." You are guilty of one day of fire in
purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of purgatory,
but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for one day in
purgatory or for a short while on earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want
to suffer in purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on
earth, even if it were until the end of the world." Jesus said, One [of
the two] is enough; you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer
much, but not for long; you will accomplish My will and My desires, and a
faithful servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head on My
bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these sufferings,
because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else. Know
that you will have much, much to suffer, but don't let this frighten you; I
am with you.
64 When
I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister who had gone for her
third
probation
[Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed a little longer than two
months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene[34]], wanting to give me a bit of pleasure, gave me permission to
go, together with another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk the paths," as they say. I was
delighted. Although it was not very far, it was Mother Superior's wish that
we should go by boat. That evening Jesus said to me, I want you to stay
home. I answered, "Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave
tomorrow morning; what am I to do now?" The Lord answered, This trip
will be harmful to your soul. I replied to Jesus, "You can find a
way out. Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be done." At
that moment the bell announced the time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting
glance and went to my cell.
Next
morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was filled with joy at
the
prospect
of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see everything. But as for
me, I was sure we would not go, even though there were no obstacles so far.
We were
to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right after the thanksgiving. But
during
the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather changed. Clouds covered
the sky, and the rain came down in torrents. Everyone was astounded at such a
sudden change in the weather.
Mother
Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you cannot go, Sisters!" I
answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that we cannot go; it
was God's will that we stay home." However, no one knew that it was
Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the whole day in recollection
and meditation, thanking the Lord for having kept me home. That day,
God granted me many heavenly consolations.
75 But these doubts always come from without, a fact
which inclined me to close myself up more and more within myself. When,
during confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of the priest, I do not
open my soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my sins. A priest who
is not at peace with himself will not be able to inspire peace in another
soul.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170 The first
day of the retreat. I tried to be the first in the chapel in the morning;
before the meditation I had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy Spirit and
to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of God to obtain for me the grace
of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of faithfully carrying out God's
will, whatever it might be. I began this retreat with a very special kind of
courage.
279 God made known
to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice,
to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's
will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least,
must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you
please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental
sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the
fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My
daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal,
unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My
daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven
and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary,
before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today,
in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of
myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have
lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total
subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which
sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which my soul
receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them:
Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not
fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my
God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust
in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord
and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation
on my own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus
Christ. I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the
following prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
354 As
I was talking to a certain person[84]
who was to paint the image but, for certain reasons, was not painting it, I
heard this voice in my soul: I want her to be more obedient. I
understood that our efforts, no matter how great, are not pleasing to God if
they do not bear the seal of obedience; I am speaking about a religious soul.
O God, how easy it is to know Your will in the convent! We religious have
God's will set clearly before our eyes from morning till night, and in
moments of uncertainty we have our superiors through whom God speaks.
395
[February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents' home [92] to see my dying mother. When I learned that
my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she had asked that I
come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a host of emotions
were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves its mother, I
wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God and resigned
myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in my heart, I
followed God's will. On the morning of my name day, February fifteen, Mother
Superior gave me a second letter from my family and granted me permission to
go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of my dying mother. I
began at once to make the necessary preparations for the journey and left
Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for my seriously ill
mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of the merits of
her suffering.
435 As
I was walking in the garden in the evening, I heard these words: By your
entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain mercy for yourselves and for
the world. I understood that I would not remain in the Congregation
in which I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will regarding me was otherwise. But I
kept making excuses before God, telling Him that I was unable to carry
out this task. "Jesus, You know very well what I am" [I
said], and I started enumerating my weaknesses to the Lord, hiding behind them
so that He would agree that I was unable to carry out His plans. Then I heard
these words: Do not fear; I myself will make up for everything that
is lacking in you. But these words penetrated me to my depths and
made me even more aware of my misery, and I understood that the word
of the Lord is living and that it penetrates to the very depths. I understood
that God demands a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my
incompetence as an excuse.
439 Then came the
moment to receive Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great
brightness. Then I heard these words: We
give Our blessing, and at that moment a bright ray issued
from that light and pierced my heart; an extraordinary fire was enkindled in
my soul-I thought I would die of joy and happiness. I felt the separation of
my spirit from my body. I felt totally immersed in God, I felt I was snatched
up by the Almighty, like a particle of dust, into unknown expanses.
444 The priest
spoke these profound words to me, "There are three degrees in the
accomplishment of
God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes
pertaining to
external observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior
inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul,
abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God
does with it as He pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands." And
the priest said that I was at the second degree in the accomplishment of
God's will and that I had not yet reached the third degree, but that I should
strive to attain it. These words pierced my soul. I see clearly that God
often gives the priest knowledge of what is going on in the depths of my
soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that He has such
chosen persons.
477 Silence is a
sword in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never attain sanctity.
The sword of silence will cut off everything that would like to cling to the
soul. We are sensitive to words and quickly want to answer back, without
taking any regard as to whether it is God's will that we should speak. A silent
soul 14 strong; no adversities will harm it if it perseveres in silence. The
silent soul is capable of attaining the closest union with God. It lives
almost always under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. God works in a silent
soul without hindrance.
478 O my Jesus, You
know, You alone know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my
virginal love is drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your
divine Blood is circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your
most pure love has entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I am aware
did You are dwelling in me, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, or
ratherIam aware that it is I who it living in You, O incomprehensible God! I
am aware that I am dissolving in You like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that
You are within me and all about me, that You are in all things that surround
me, in all that happens to me. O my God, I have come to know You within my
heart, and I have loved You above all things that exist on earth or in
heaven. Our hearts have a mutual understanding, and no one of humankind will
comprehend this.
497 O Eternal Truth,
Word Incarnate, who most faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am
becoming a martyr of Your inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because
I have no will of my own, though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit
in everything to the will of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow
Your will insofar as You will permit me to do so through Your representative.
O my Jesus, it cannot be helped, but I give priority to the voice of the
Church over the voice with which You speak to me.
506 "Do nothing without the consent of the superiors.
One must think this matter over thoroughly and pray much. One must be very
careful about these things because, in your present situation, Sister, the
will of God is certain and clear, for you are in fact bound to this
Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that; so there should be no
doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister, are only the glimmerings
of a project. God can make some alterations, but such things are very rare.
Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have received more precise knowledge.
The works of God proceed slowly, but if they are of Him, you will surely
recognize them clearly. If they are not, they will disappear; and you, by
being obedient, will not go astray. Speak frankly about everything to your
confessor and obey him blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place, and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to God."
518
+ Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery at dusk. Although it was
locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said, "If you need
something, my dear little souls, I will be glad to help you to the extent
that the rule permits me." I then heard these words, "Do the will
of God; we are happy in the measure that we have fulfilled God's will."
527 On one
occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is demanding
of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my soul saying,
Why are you afraid? Do
you think that I will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At
that moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength, and all the adversities
that could befall me in carrying out God's will seemed as nothing to me.
585
January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told
him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that
there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for
the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me.
The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my
permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for
the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume
that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention.
But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things
may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but
there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it
be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many
different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so
wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a
close union with God and do not lose heart." These words filled me with
great joy.
615 March 1, 1936. Today during
Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge to start realizing God's
wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the things the Lord was asking of
me that truly if I were to say that I do not understand what God is demanding
from me, I would be lying, because the Lord is making His will known to me so
clearly and distinctly that I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about
them. I realized that it would be the greatest ingratitude to delay any
longer this undertaking which the Lord wishes to bring to fulfillment for His
glory and the benefit of a great number of souls. And He is using me as a
miserable tool through which to realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly,
how ungrateful my soul would be to resist God's will any longer. Nothing will
stop me any longer, be it persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats,
entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery, friendships, adversities, friends or enemies;
be it things I am experiencing now or things that will come in the future or
even the hatred of hell-nothing will deter me from doing the will of God.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me. My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done. I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.
665 Father Andrasz told me to make
a novena for the intention of knowing better the will of God. I prayed
ardently, adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the end of the
novena, I received an inner light and the assurance that the Congregation
will come into being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the difficulties
and adversities, complete peace and strength entered my soul from on high. I
understood that nothing could resist or nullify the will of God. I understood
that I must carry out this will of God despite obstacles, persecution and
sufferings of all kinds, and despite natural repugnance and fear.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.
667 July 14. I received a letter
at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]].
O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not
say anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will
comfort me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my
nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in eternity.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.
678 The essence of
the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God faithfully,
practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of my life, I
adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the object of
my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to His will.
I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will of God.
Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all manner of
adversities by divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my own will.
713 October 11. This evening, as I
was writing about this great mercy of God and its great advantage to souls,
Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury. He seized the screen and
began to break and crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but I
immediately made the sign of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast
fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure
but only his anger. Satan's anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not
shattered or broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the
wretch will not touch me without God's willing it, but what is he up to? He
is beginning to attack me openly and with such great fury and hate, but he
does not disturb my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him
furious.
830 O Light
Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my will
that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light dissipate
all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I trust in
You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in
accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do
Your will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all
things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894 Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to
Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but
my confessor, [162]
in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will,
Sister, that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications
of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I
felt that the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me
sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of
seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything
else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
924 Today, I
received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the bedside of
the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of self, and
it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and that is
enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
937 + I will say a
word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]].
It is strange that there are so few priests who know how to pour power,
strength and courage into a soul so that it can make constant progress
without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of lesser strength,
can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a secret; namely,
that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does not make light of
the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul notices that it is
being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and does not omit the
slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids the smallest faults.
And from these efforts, as with little stones, there rises within the soul a
most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul notices that the
confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects them and ceases
to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse still, will begin to
grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going forward, it gradually
retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation only when it has already
fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses itself: who
is at fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is to say, the
director? It seems to me that all the blame should be put on the imprudent
director; the soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice of a
director. ! The director could well have led the soul along the road of God's
will to sanctity.
938 The soul should
have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and should have
asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it. What begins in
God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner will remain
human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He himself chooses
the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning the one before
whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just as it sees
itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers and
recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently for
the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And let it
not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had prayed
fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before choosing a
director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to discern
whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose
another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this
change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this:
to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then,
without doubt, he will never attain it.
956 +
After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say, I
now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and
things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly
Father's special affection.
972 Today, the
doctor decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God's will, even
though I did want to be back in the company of my sisters.
981 I understood
that these two years of interior suffering which I have undergone in
submission to God's will in order to know it better have advanced me further
in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years now, I have been on
the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am bound by the vow of
obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And on the other hand,
God makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner torture is so great
that no one will either understand or imagine these spiritual sufferings. It
seems to me that it would be easier to give up my life than to go again and
again through one hour of such pain. I am not even going to write much about
this matter, because one cannot describe what it is like to know God's will
directly and at the same time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as
expressed indirectly through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has
given me a director; otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.
1004 O will of the
Omnipotent God,
You are my delight, You are my joy. Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me I will accept with gladness, submission and love. Your holy will is my repose; In it is contained all my sanctity, And all my eternal salvation, For doing God's will is the greatest glory. The will of God-those are His various wishes Which my soul carries out without reserve, Because such are His divine desires, In those moments when God shares His confidences with me. Do with me as You will, Lord. I place no obstacles, I make no reservations. For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul, And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
1088 Sudden return
of health. After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April
11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited
for a clear sign of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to
go to bed. The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this
repeats a few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1091 Then I heard
these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health. I
neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that
I am
enjoying good
health at present. The future does not belong to me. I asked for this health
as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek relief from my suffering.
1101 In
the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I
shall speak to you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza [191]] so that you may not yield to doubt
concerning My wishes. Already in the first meditation my soul was struck
by the following words of the priest: I must not oppose God's will and
God's designs, whatever they might be; and as soon as 1 am convinced
of the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I have the
duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever the
will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out.
This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself
on my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants
of me, and what I ought to do.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark
awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to
know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should
appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties,
faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the
matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski]
although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but
peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy
at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out
in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh,
how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She
covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right
hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand
She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her
mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously
till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I
desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility
and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy.
After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I
remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of
God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy
decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy
will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all
God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire
that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's
will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the
heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God
was entering my soul.
1276 September 16, 1937. I wanted
very much to make a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today, but God's
will was otherwise. At eight o'clock I was seized with such violent pains
that I had to go to bed at once. I was convulsed with pain for three hours;
that is, until eleven o'clock at night. No medicine had any effect on me, and
whatever I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains caused me to lose
consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I took part in His Agony
in the Garden, and that He himself allowed these sufferings in order to offer
reparation to God for the souls murdered in the wombs of wicked mothers. I
have gone through these sufferings three times now. They always start at
eight o'clock in the evening and last until eleven. No medicine can lessen
these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes, they cease by themselves, and I
fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel very weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
1301 It is
extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning this
whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's wishes,
although it was not until two years after the revelation that she became my
superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me when the painting
of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when some things concerning
the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy cards are being printed,
again it is she who is going with me [to take care of] this matter. God has
ordained all this in a mysterious way, because this was begun in Vilnius, and
now God's will has so directed the circumstances that this matter is being
continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior is to God; I see how
God is directing everything and wants me to be under her protection during
these important times.... Thank You, Lord, for such superiors, who live in
the love and fear of God. That is why I pray for her most of all, because she
has put herself out the most for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy....
1389 O my Jesus,
although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them slowly, and
this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my Jesus, You give
me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them to other souls.
Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment of apparent
absolute destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by anything, will
begin. Such is the will of God in this, and it will not change; although many
persons will oppose it, nothing will change God's will.
1431 Nevertheless,
when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of the frequent
suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such times, as always, I
hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium and there draw strength
to accept God's will. That which I have written is not yet everything.
1521 The Lord said
to me, My daughter, do
not tire of proclaiming My mercy. In this way you will refresh this Heart of
Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners. Tell My priests that
hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words when they speak about My
unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have for them in My Heart. To
priests who proclaim and extol My mercy, I will give wondrous power; I will
anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom they will speak.
1525 One day, a
certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me that she could
no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please pray, Sister."
I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The Divine Mercy. I learned
that God would give her the grace, but that she would once again be
dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on praying as she had
asked me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking for me, and when
we again began to talk about the same thing, I told her, "You know,
Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord God to give us what we
want, but we should rather submit to His holy will." But she thought
that what she was asking for was indispensable. Towards the end of the
novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister, the Lord Jesus has
given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please pray so that
things will somehow be different again." I answered, "Yes, I will
pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not what you
want."
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 36, 64, 75, 170, 279, 309, 354,
395,
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-435, 439, 444, 477-478, 497)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-506, 515, 518)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-527, 585, 615, 665-667, 678, 713, 830)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-894, 924, 937-938, 956, 972, 981)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276, 1301)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1521, 1525)
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Enero 28, 2014
Stronger Than Blood-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
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