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Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
36 Once I was summoned to the
judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such
as we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared
except for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw
the complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all
that is displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest
transgressions will have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can
describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me, Who
are you? I answered, "I am Your servant, Lord." You are
guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself
immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said,
Which do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory or for a short
while on earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory,
and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were
until the end of the world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is
enough; you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not
for long; you will accomplish My will and My desires, and a faithful
servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head on My bosom,
on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these sufferings,
because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else.
Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but don't let this frighten
you; I am with you.
64 When I came to Vilnius for two months to replace a sister
who had gone for her third
probation [Sister Peter, who worked in the kitchen], I stayed
a little longer than two months. One day, the Mother Superior [Irene[34]], wanting to give me a bit of pleasure,
gave me permission to go, together with another sister,[35] to Calvary to "walk the
paths," as they say. I was delighted. Although it was not very far, it
was Mother Superior's wish that we should go by boat. That evening Jesus
said to me, I want you to stay home. I answered, "Jesus,
everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow morning; what am I to do
now?" The Lord answered, This trip will be harmful to your soul. I
replied to Jesus, "You can find a way out. Arrange things in such a
way that Your will may be done." At that moment the bell announced the
time for sleep. I gave Jesus a parting glance and went to my cell.
Next morning the weather was beautiful, and my companion was
filled with joy at the
prospect of the great pleasure we would have in getting to see
everything. But as for me, I was sure we would not go, even though there
were no obstacles so far.
We were to receive Holy Communion earlier and leave right
after the thanksgiving. But
during the time of Communion, all of a sudden, the weather
changed. Clouds covered the sky, and the rain came down in torrents.
Everyone was astounded at such a sudden change in the weather.
Mother Superior said to me, "I am so sorry you cannot go,
Sisters!" I answered, "Dear Mother, it doesn't really matter that
we cannot go; it was God's will that we stay home." However, no one
knew that it was Jesus' express desire that I stay home. I spent the whole
day in recollection and meditation, thanking the Lord for
having kept me home. That day, God granted me many heavenly consolations.
75 But these doubts always come from
without, a fact which inclined me to close myself up more and more within
myself. When, during confession, I sense uncertainty on the part of the
priest, I do not open my soul to its depths, but only accuse myself of my
sins. A priest who is not at peace with himself will not be able to inspire
peace in another soul.
O priests, you bright candles enlightening human souls, let your brightness
never be dimmed. I understood that at that time it was not God's will that
I uncover my soul completely. Later on, God did give me this grace.
170
The first day of the retreat. I tried to be the first in the chapel in the
morning; before the meditation I had a bit of time for prayer to the Holy
Spirit and to Our Lady. I earnestly begged the Mother of God to obtain for
me the grace of fidelity to these inner inspirations and of faithfully
carrying out God's will, whatever it might be. I began this retreat with a
very special kind of courage.
279 God made
known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in
practice, to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying
out God's will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even
the least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My
child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your
mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want
the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to
detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My
daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love,
virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love
suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
God and Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven
and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin
Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that
today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary
offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those
souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my
accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears
and terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the
consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word,
I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances,
mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice,
because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends
to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all
hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion
forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the
strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat
this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You
yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a
Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
354
As I was talking to a certain person[84] who was to paint the image but, for certain
reasons, was not painting it, I heard this voice in my soul: I want her
to be more obedient. I understood that our efforts, no matter how
great, are not pleasing to God if they do not bear the seal of obedience; I
am speaking about a religious soul. O God, how easy it is to know Your will
in the convent! We religious have God's will set clearly before our eyes
from morning till night, and in moments of uncertainty we have our
superiors through whom God speaks.
395 [February] 15, 1935. A few days' visit at my parents' home
[92] to see my dying mother. When
I learned that my mother was seriously ill and near death, and that she had
asked that I come home, as she wanted to see me once more before dying, a
host of emotions were awakened in my heart. As a child who sincerely loves
its mother, I wanted very much to fulfill her wish. But I left this to God
and resigned myself completely to His will. Paying no heed to the ache in
my heart, I followed God's will. On the morning of my name day, February
fifteen, Mother Superior gave me a second letter from my family and granted
me permission to go to my parents' home to fulfill the wish and request of
my dying mother. I began at once to make the necessary preparations for the
journey and left Vilnius in the evening. I offered the whole night for my
seriously ill mother, that God might grant her the grace of losing none of
the merits of her suffering.
435 As I was walking in the garden in the evening, I heard
these words: By your entreaties, you and your companions shall obtain
mercy for yourselves and for the world. I understood that I
would not remain in the Congregation in which I am at the present time.[95] I saw clearly that God's will
regarding me was otherwise. But I kept making excuses before God,
telling Him that I was unable to carry out this task. "Jesus, You know
very well what I am" [I said], and I started enumerating my
weaknesses to the Lord, hiding behind them so that He would agree
that I was unable to carry out His plans. Then I heard these words: Do
not fear; I myself will make up for everything that is lacking in you. But
these words penetrated me to my depths and made me even more aware of
my misery, and I understood that the word of the Lord is living and
that it penetrates to the very depths. I understood that God demands
a more perfect way of life of me. However, I kept using my incompetence
as an excuse.
439 Then came the
moment to receive Holy Communion, and Jesus disappeared, and I saw a great
brightness. Then I heard these words: We give Our blessing, and at that
moment a bright ray issued from that light and pierced my heart; an
extraordinary fire was enkindled in my soul-I thought I would die of joy
and happiness. I felt the separation of my spirit from my body. I felt
totally immersed in God, I felt I was snatched up by the Almighty, like a
particle of dust, into unknown expanses.
444
The priest spoke these profound words to me, "There are three degrees
in the
accomplishment
of God's will: in the first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes
pertaining
to external observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior
inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the
soul, abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and
God does with it as He pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands."
And the priest said that I was at the second degree in the accomplishment
of God's will and that I had not yet reached the third degree, but that I
should strive to attain it. These words pierced my soul. I see clearly that
God often gives the priest knowledge of what is going on in the depths of
my soul. This does not surprise me at all; indeed, I thank God that He has
such chosen persons.
477
Silence is a sword in the spiritual struggle. A talkative soul will never
attain sanctity. The sword of silence will cut off everything that would
like to cling to the soul. We are sensitive to words and quickly want to
answer back, without taking any regard as to whether it is God's will that
we should speak. A silent soul 14 strong; no adversities will harm it if it
perseveres in silence. The silent soul is capable of attaining the closest
union with God. It lives almost always under the inspiration of the Holy
Spirit. God works in a silent soul without hindrance.
478 O my Jesus,
You know, You alone know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All
my virginal love is drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho
Your divine Blood is circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt
that Your most pure love has entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I
am aware did You are dwelling in me, together with the Father and the Holy
Spirit, or ratherIam aware that it is I who it living in You, O
incomprehensible God! I am aware that I am dissolving in You like a drop in
an ocean. I am aware that You are within me and all about me, that You are
in all things that surround me, in all that happens to me. O my God, I have
come to know You within my heart, and I have loved You above all things
that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts have a mutual understanding,
and no one of humankind will comprehend this.
506 "Do nothing without the
consent of the superiors. One must think this matter over thoroughly and
pray much. One must be very careful about these things because, in your
present situation, Sister, the will of God is certain and clear, for you
are in fact bound to this Congregation by vows, and perpetual vows at that;
so there should be no doubt. What you are experiencing interiorly, Sister,
are only the glimmerings of a project. God can make some alterations, but
such things are very rare. Don't be in a hurry, Sister, until you have
received more precise knowledge. The works of God proceed slowly, but if
they are of Him, you will surely recognize them clearly. If they are not,
they will disappear; and you, by being obedient, will not go astray. Speak
frankly about everything to your confessor and obey him blindly.
"For the present, Sister, there is nothing more for you to do than
accept the suffering until the time when everything will become clear; that
is, all things will be resolved. You are well disposed as regards these
matters, and so continue in this simplicity and spirit of obedience; this
is a good sign. If you continue in this attitude, God will not allow you to
fall into error. Still, as much as is possible, keep far away from these
things, but if despite that they still come your way, receive them calmly
and do not fear anything. You are in the good hands of a very good God. In
all that you have told me, I do not see any illusion or anything contrary
to faith. These are things which are good in themselves, and it would
indeed be good if there were a group of souls pleading with God for the
world, as we all are in need of prayer. You have a good director; stay with
him and be at peace. Be faithful to God's will and carry it out. As to your
duties, always do what you are told to do and as you are told to do it, no
matter how humiliating or toilsome it might be. Always choose the last place,
and then they themselves will say to you, `Go up higher.' In spirit and in
your demeanor, consider yourself the least in the whole house and in the
entire Congregation. In everything and at all times, be most faithful to
God."
518 + Before All Souls' Day, I went to the cemetery
at dusk. Although it was locked, I managed to open the gate a bit and said,
"If you need something, my dear little souls, I will be glad to help
you to the extent that the rule permits me." I then heard these words,
"Do the will of God; we are happy in the measure that we have
fulfilled God's will."
527 On
one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is
demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my
soul saying, Why are
you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough omnipotence to support
you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength,
and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's will
seemed as nothing to me.
585 January 8, 1936. When I went to see the
Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told him that Jesus was asking that I pray
for God's mercy upon the world and that there be a religious congregation
which would entreat the mercy of God for the world. I asked his permission
for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me. The Arch bishop answered me in
these words: "As for prayer, I give my permission and even encourage
you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for the world and to beg God's
mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume that your confessor
certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention. But as regards
this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things may arrange
themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but there is no
need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it be a little
sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many different
kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so wills. Be
completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a close
union with God and do not lose heart." These words filled me with
great joy.
615 March 1, 1936. Today during
Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge to start realizing God's
wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the things the Lord was asking
of me that truly if I were to say that I do not understand what God is
demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord is making His will
known to me so clearly and distinctly that I do not have the least shadow
of a doubt about them. I realized that it would be the greatest ingratitude
to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord wishes to bring to
fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great number of souls. And
He is using me as a miserable tool through which to realize His eternal
plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to resist God's will
any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it persecution, sufferings,
sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery, friendships,
adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing now or
things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hell-nothing will
deter me from doing the will of God.
I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he
gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace
of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature
resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within
my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And
so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take
this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O
Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no
secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O
Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to
manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth,
help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your
will be accomplished in me.
My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not
matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force
driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience.
O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on
the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.
I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical
strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it,
nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I
had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed
earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in
the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me.
But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence,
and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew
my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before
I could begin to act.
665 Father
Andrasz told me to make a novena for the intention of knowing better the
will of God. I prayed ardently, adding a certain bodily mortification.
Towards the end of the novena, I received an inner light and the assurance
that the Congregation will come into being and that it is pleasing to God.
Despite the difficulties and adversities, complete peace and strength
entered my soul from on high. I understood that nothing could resist or nullify
the will of God. I understood that I must carry out this will of God
despite obstacles, persecution and sufferings of all kinds, and despite
natural repugnance and fear.
666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist
in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in
sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and
recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against
the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God.
It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An
extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that,
despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as
I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I
have come to know it, O God.
667 July
14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]]. O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I
will keep silent and will not say anything about it to any creature,
because I know that no one will comfort me. You are everything to me, O
God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I am living now on what I will
live on in eternity.
I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example
to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will
faithfully.
713 October
11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and its
great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and
fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little
frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my
little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I
did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is
terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on
writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without
God's willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly
and with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a
moment, and this composure of mine makes him furious.
830 O
Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my
will that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light
dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I
trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in
accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do
Your will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all
things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!
894 Today the doctor decided that I am
not to go to Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist
at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey.
"It is God's will, Sister, that you should get well, and you must not
undertake mortifications of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will
reward you for it." I felt that the confessor's words were Jesus'
words, and although it made me sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had
been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I
placed obedience above everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the
Lord, who said to me, My
daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience
than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is
to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do
is pleasing to God!
924
Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the
bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place
of self, and it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will,
and that is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn
later.
937 + I will say
a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few priests who
know how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can
make constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul,
even of lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I
discovered a secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director,
does not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when
the soul notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert
itself and does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and
also avoids the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little
stones, there rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the
contrary, if the soul notices that the confessor neglects these little
things, it likewise neglects them and ceases to give an account of them to
the confessor and, worse still, will begin to grow negligent in little
things. Thus, instead of going forward, it gradually retreats backward and
becomes aware of the situation only when it has already fallen into some
serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses itself: who is at fault,
the soul in question or the confessor; that is to say, the director? It
seems to me that all the blame should be put on the imprudent director; the
soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice of a director. !
The director could well have led the soul along the road of God's will to
sanctity.
938 The soul
should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and should
have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it. What begins
in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner will remain
human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He himself chooses
the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning the one before
whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just as it sees
itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers and
recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently
for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And
let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it
had prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will
before choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great
length to discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this
director and choose another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he
should not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and
Satan wants just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct
himself because then, without doubt, he will never attain it.
956 + After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me;
that is to say, I now see everything from a higher point of view and accept
all events and things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the
heavenly Father's special affection.
972
Today, the doctor decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God's
will, even though I did want to be back in the company of my sisters.
981 I
understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have
undergone in submission to God's will in order to know it better have
advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two
years now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is to
say, I am bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God
himself. And on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly,
and so my inner torture is so great that no one will either understand or
imagine these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier
to give up my life than to go again and again through one hour of such
pain. I am not even going to write much about this matter, because one
cannot describe what it is like to know God's will directly and at the same
time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly
through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has given me a director;
otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.
1004 O
will of the Omnipotent God,
You are my delight,
You are my joy.
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God's will is the greatest glory.
The will of God-those are His various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
1088
Sudden return of health. After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on
Sunday, April 11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that
letter, but waited for a clear sign of God's will. However, my health got
so bad that I had to go to bed. The coughing racked me so much that it
seemed to me that, if this repeats a few more times, it will surely be the
end of me.
1091
Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good
health. I neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health.
I only know that I am
enjoying
good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I asked for this
health as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek relief from my
suffering.
1101 In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My
daughter, know that I shall speak to you in a special way through this
priest [Father Plaza [191]] so
that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the
first meditation my soul was struck by the following words of the
priest: I must not oppose God's will and God's designs, whatever
they might be; and as soon as 1 am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity
of the will of God, I have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release
me from this. Whatever the will of God may be, once I have come to
know it, I ought to carry it out. This is just a very short summary,
but the whole meditation imprinted itself on my soul, and I have no
doubts about anything. I know what God wants of me, and what I ought to
do.
1243 "These times of dryness and
stark awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the
soul to know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much
you should appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises
and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly,
as regards the matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop
[Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to
his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is
necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune
with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders
to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow
the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for
the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this
and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any
sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an
account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of
the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation,
God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy
at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried
out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to
me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that
moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle.
With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and
with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her
feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who
perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire
of purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by the
following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and
neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole
Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most
Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to
my life, submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible
for one to please God without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I
strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that
is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish
yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of
God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was
talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God was entering my
soul.
1276 September 16, 1937. I
wanted very much to make a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today,
but God's will was otherwise. At eight o'clock I was seized with such
violent pains that I had to go to bed at once. I was convulsed with pain
for three hours; that is, until eleven o'clock at night. No medicine had
any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains
caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I
took part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He himself allowed these
sufferings in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in
the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three
times now. They always start at eight o'clock in the evening and last until
eleven. No medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o'clock comes,
they cease by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following
day, I feel very weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The
doctors couldn't get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine
helped me at all nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were
about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced
such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they
are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord
himself has made this known to me.... Yet when I think that I may perhaps
suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don't know whether I'll ever
again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send,
I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul
from murder by means of these sufferings!
1301
It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning
this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord's
wishes, although it was not until two years after the revelation that she
became my superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me
when the painting of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when
some things concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy
cards are being printed, again it is she who is going with me [to take care
of] this matter. God has ordained all this in a mysterious way, because
this was begun in Vilnius, and now God's will has so directed the
circumstances that this matter is being continued in Cracow. I know how
pleasing this superior is to God; I see how God is directing everything and
wants me to be under her protection during these important times.... Thank
You, Lord, for such superiors, who live in the love and fear of God. That
is why I pray for her most of all, because she has put herself out the most
for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy....
1389 O
my Jesus, although I have such very strong impulsions, I am to act on them
slowly, and this only in order not to spoil Your work with my haste. O my
Jesus, You give me to know Your mysteries, and You want me to transmit them
to other souls. Soon now it will be possible for me to act. At the moment
of apparent absolute destruction, my mission, now no longer hindered by
anything, will begin. Such is the will of God in this, and it will not
change; although many persons will oppose it, nothing will change God's
will.
1431
Nevertheless, when in the refectory I still had to bear being the object of
the frequent suspicion that I was being fussy [about my food]. At such
times, as always, I hasten to the Tabernacle and bow before the ciborium
and there draw strength to accept God's will. That which I have written is
not yet everything.
1521
The Lord said to me,
My daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My mercy. In this way you will
refresh this Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners.
Tell My priests that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words
when they speak about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have
for them in My Heart. To priests who proclaim and extol My mercy, I will
give wondrous power; I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of
those to whom they will speak.
1525
One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me
that she could no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please
pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The
Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the grace, but that she
would once again be dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on
praying as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking
for me, and when we again began to talk about the same thing, I told her,
"You know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord God to
give us what we want, but we should rather submit to His holy will."
But she thought that what she was asking for was indispensable. Towards the
end of the novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister, the Lord
Jesus has given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please pray
so that things will somehow be different again." I answered, "Yes,
I will pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not what you
want."
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-36, 64, 75, 170, 279,
309, 354, 395, 435)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-439, 444, 477-478,
506, 515, 518)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-527, 585, 615,
665-667, 713, 830)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-894, 924, 937-938,
956, 972, 981)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1004, 1088, 1091, 1101)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1243-1244, 1276,
1301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1389, 1431, 1521,
1525)
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