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76 O my Jesus, direct my mind,
take possession of my whole being, enclose me in the depths of Your heart,
and protect me against the assaults of the enemy. My only hope is in You.
Speak through my mouth when I, wretchedness itself, find myself with the
mighty and wise, so that they will know that this undertaking is Yours and
comes from You.
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a
strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about
God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment
of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to
Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only
provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me
to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a
great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to
suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter
powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to
meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing
of what I had read.
The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered
the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments
and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle
against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I
felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was
not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my
confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the
only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest
explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the
situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing
to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you
very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you
such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me
that they did not apply to me at all.
One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was
suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as
I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the
confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater
ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament
repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in
You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these
agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had
been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire
virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good
is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why
sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected
by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on
in my heart.
97 Faith staggers under the
impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an
act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love
are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the soul
in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it
would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can
allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to
revealed truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it,
"Look, no one understands you; why speak about all this?" Words
that terrify it sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is
uttering these against God. It sees what it does not want to see. It hears
what it does not want to hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times
like these not to have an experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole
burden alone. However, one should make every effort to find, if it is at
all possible, a well-informed confessor, for the soul can collapse under
the burden and come to the very edge of the precipice. All these trials are
heavy and difficult. God does not send them to a soul which has not already
been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and which has not yet tasted
the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own plans, which for us
are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for His future
designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried. But this
is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials, the
complete abandonment of the soul by God.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no
human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable
and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into
the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery
I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever. Let no soul,
even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive,
each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It
remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope,
thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That
book is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is from this
book that I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book there are
found for us inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You
in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which
burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to understand
the love of the Heart of Jesus!
308 1934, Holy Thursday. Jesus
said to me, I desire that you make an offering of yourself for sinners
and especially far those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy.
God and Souls. An Act of
Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth,
before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before
all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in
union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of
myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have
lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with
total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with
which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which
my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything
for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers.
I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with
Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls
that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of
Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not
base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that
flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of
self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself have
taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a
Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S. M. Faustina of the Blessed
Sacrament
Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March 29, 1934.
310
I am giving you a share in the redemption of mankind. You are solace in My
dying hour.
317 O my God, my only hope, I
have placed all my trust in You, and I know I shall not be disappointed.
319 August 9, 1934. Night
adoration on Thursdays.[79] I made my hour of
adoration from eleven o'clock till midnight. I offered it for the
conversion of hardened sinners, especially for those who have lost hope in
God's mercy. I was reflecting on how much God had suffered and on how great
was the love He had shown for us, and on the fact that we still do not
believe that God loves us so much. O Jesus, who can understand this? What
suffering it is for our Savior! How can He convince us of His love if even
His death cannot convince us? I called upon the whole of heaven to join me
in making amends to the Lord for the ingratitude of certain souls.
343 True love is measured by the thermometer
of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for
opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the
misinterpretation of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of
others, for the harsh way in which we are treated, for false suspicions,
for poor health and loss of strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself,
for lack of recognition in everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for
terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior
night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to
describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour
of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You
gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy
will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your
wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to
its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my
joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a
gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness
or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It
is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit
abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know
very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single
drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything
else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it
but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of
sand in a bottomless ocean.
356 O Blessed Host, in whom is
contained the testament of God's mercy for us, and especially for poor
sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus
as proof of infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained life eternal and of infinite mercy,
dispensed in abundance to us and especially to poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the mercy of the Father, the Son and
the Holy Spirit toward us, and especially toward poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the infinite price of mercy which will
compensate for all our debts, and especially those of poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the fountain of living water which
springs from infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the fire of purest love which blazes
forth from the bosom of the Eternal Father, as from an abyss of infinite
mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the medicine for all our infirmities,
flowing from infinite mercy, as from a fount, for us and especially for
poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the union between God and us through
His infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, in whom are contained all the sentiments of the most sweet
Heart of Jesus toward us, and especially poor sinners.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in all the sufferings and adversities of
life.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of darkness and of storms within
and without.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in life and at the hour of our death.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of adversities and floods of
despair.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of falsehood and treason.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness
which inundate the earth. O Blessed Host, our only hope in the longing and
pain in which no one will understand us.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in the toil and monotony of everyday life.
O Blessed Host, our only hope amid the ruin of our hopes and endeavors.
O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the ravages of the enemy and
the efforts of hell.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when the burdens are beyond my strength and
I find my efforts are fruitless.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when storms toss my heart about and my
fearful spirit tends to despair.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my heart is about to tremble and mortal
sweat moistens my brow.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when everything conspires against me and
black despair creeps into my soul.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my eyes will begin to grow dim to all
temporal things and, for the first time, my spirit will behold the unknown
worlds.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my tasks will be beyond my strength and
adversity will become my daily lot.
O Blessed Host I trust in You when the practice of virtue will appear
difficult for me and my nature will grow rebellious.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when hostile blows will be aimed against me.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my toils and efforts will be misjudged
by others.
O Blessed Host, I trust in You when Your judgments will resound over me; it
is then that I will trust in the sea of Your mercy.
386 I
feel that God will let me draw aside the veils [of heaven] so that the
earth will not doubt His goodness. God is not subject to eclipse or change.
He is forever one and the same; nothing can contradict His will. I feel
within myself a power greater than human. I feel courage and strength
thanks to the grace that dwells in me. 1 understand souls who are suffering
against hope, for 1 have gone through that fire myself. But God will not
give [us anything] beyond our strength. Often have I lived hoping against
hope, and have advanced my hope to complete trust in God. Let that which He
has ordained from all ages happen to me.
650 O my Jesus, my Master and
Director, strengthen and enlighten me in these difficult moments of my
life. I expect no help from people; all my hope is in You. I feel alone in
the face of Your demands, O Lord. Despite the fears and qualms of my
nature, I am fulfilling Your holy will and desire to fulfill it as
faithfully as possible throughout my life and in my death. Jesus, with You I
can do all things. Do with me as You please; only give me Your merciful
Heart and that is enough for me.
O Jesus my Lord, help me. Let what You have planned before all ages happen
to me. I am ready at each beckoning of Your holy will. Enlighten my mind that
I may know Your will. O God, You who pervade my soul, You know that I
desire nothing but Your glory.
O Divine Will, You are the delight of my heart, the food of my soul, the
light of my intellect, the omnipotent strength of my will; for when I unite
myself with Your will, O Lord, Your power works through me and takes the
place of my feeble will. Each day, I seek to carry out God's wishes
681 + Amid the greatest torments, I fix the gaze of my
soul upon Jesus Crucified; I do not expect help from people, but place my
trust in God. In His unfathomable mercy lies all my hope.
687 Once, as I was going down the hall to the kitchen, I
heard these words in my soul: Say unceasingly the chaplet that I have
taught you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of
death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of
salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite
this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I
desire that the whole world know My infinite mercy. I desire to grant
unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy.
746 I have understood that at certain and most difficult
moments I shall be alone, deserted by everyone, and that I must face all
the storms and fight with all the strength of my soul, even with those from
whom I expected to get help.
But I am not alone, because Jesus is with me, and with Him I fear nothing.
I am well aware of everything, and I know what God is demanding of me.
Suffering, contempt, ridicule, persecution and humiliation will be my
constant lot. I know no other way. For sincere love-ingratitude; this is my
path, marked out by the footprints of Jesus.
My Jesus, my strength and my only hope, in You alone is all my hope. My
trust will not be frustrated.
949 Let the doubting soul read these considerations on
Divine Mercy and become trusting. [171]
Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, fount gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed
Trinity, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in
You.
Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in
You.
Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I
trust in You.
Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I
trust in You.
Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for
sinners, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in
You.
Divine Mercy, in the founding of Holy Church, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust
in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in
You.
Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, crown of all of God's handiwork, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You.
950 + Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the
treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your
mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become
despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will,
which is Love and Mercy itself.
951 + O incomprehensible and limitless Mercy Divine, To
extol and adore You worthily, who can? Supreme attribute of Almighty God,
You are the sweet hope for sinful man.
Into one hymn yourselves unite, stars, earth and sea, and in one accord,
thankfully and fervently sing of the incomprehensible Divine Mercy.
965 Jesus looked at me and said,
Souls perish in spite of My bitter Passion. I am giving them the last
hope of salvation; that is, the Feast of My Mercy. If they will not adore
My mercy, they will perish for all eternity. Secretary of My mercy, write,
tell souls about this great mercy of Mine, because the awful day, the day
of My justice, is near.
995 + Although it is not easy to
live in constant agony,
To be nailed to the cross of various pains,
Still, I am inflamed with love by loving,
And like a Seraph I love God, though I am but weakness.
Oh, great is the soul that, midst suffering,
Stands faithfully by God and does His will
And remains uncomforted midst great rainbows and storms,
For God's pure love sweetens her fate.
It is no great thing to love God in prosperity
And thank Him when all goes well,
But rather to adore Him midst great adversities
And love Him for His own sake and place one's hope in Him.
When the soul is in the shadows of Gethsemane,
All alone in the bitterness of pain,
It ascends toward the heights of Jesus,
And though ever drinking bitterness-it is not sad.
When the soul does the will of the Most High God,
Even amidst constant pain and torments,
Having pressed its lips to the chalice proferred,
It becomes mighty, and nothing will daunt it.
Though tortured, it repeats: Your will be done,
Patiently awaiting the moment of its transfiguration,
For, though in deepest darkness, it hears the voice of Jesus: You are Mine,
And this it will know fully when the veil falls.
998 Today, I took part in a one-day retreat. When I was
at the last conference, [177] the priest was
speaking of how much the world needs God's mercy, and that this seems to be
a special time when people have great need of prayer and God's mercy. Then
I heard a voice in my soul: These words are for you. Do all you possibly
can for this work of My mercy. I desire that My mercy be worshiped, and I
am giving mankind the last hope of salvation; that is, recourse to My
mercy. My Heart rejoices in this feast. After these words, I understood
that nothing can dispense me from the obligation which the Lord demands
from me.
1065 + My Jesus, support me when difficult and stormy days come,
days of testing, days of ordeal, when suffering and fatigue begin to
oppress my body and my soul. Sustain me, Jesus, and give me strength to
bear suffering. Set a guard upon my lips that they may address no word of
complaint to creatures. Your most merciful Heart is all my hope. I have
nothing for my defense but only Your mercy; in it lies all my trust.
1151 + When pain
overwhelms my soul,
And the horizon
darkens like night,
And the heart is
torn with the torment of suffering,
Jesus Crucified,
You are my strength.
When the soul,
dimmed with pain,
Exerts itself in
battle without respite,
And the heart is
in agony and torment,
Jesus Crucified,
You are the hope of my salvation.
And so the days
pass,
As the soul
bathes in a sea of bitterness,
And the heart
dissolves in tears,
Jesus Crucified,
You shine for me like the dawn.
And when the cup
of bitterness brims over,
And all things
conspire against her,
And the soul goes
down to the Garden of Olives,
Jesus Crucified,
in You is my defense.
When the soul,
conscious of its innocence,
Accepts these
dispensations from God,
The heart can
then repay hurts with love.
Jesus
Crucified, transform my weakness into omnipotence.
1195 O my Jesus, nothing can
lower my ideals; that is, the love which I have for You. Although the path
is very thorny, I do not fear to go ahead. Even if a hailstorm of
persecutions covers me; even if my friends forsake me, even if all things
conspire against me, and the horizon grows dark; even if a raging storm
breaks out, and I feel I am quite alone and must brave it all; still, fully
at peace, I will trust in Your mercy, O my God, and my hope will not be
disappointed.
1321 Hail, most
merciful Heart of Jesus,
Living Fountain
of all graces,
Our sole shelter,
our only refuge;
In You I have the
light of hope.
Hail, most
compassionate Heart of my God,
Unfathomable
living Fount of Love
From which gushes
life for sinful man
And the Spring of
all sweetness.
Hail, open Wound
of the Most Sacred Heart,
From which the
rays of mercy issued forth
And from which it
was given us to draw life
With the vessel
of trust alone.
Hail, God's
goodness, incomprehensible,
Never to be
measured or fathomed,
Full of love and
mercy, though always holy,
Yet, like a good
mother, ever bent o'er us.
Hail, Throne of
Mercy, Lamb of God,
Who gave Your
life in sacrifice for me,
Before whom my
soul humbles itself daily,
Living in faith
profound.
[End of Notebook
Four]
1324 + I bow down
before You, O Bread of Angels,
With deep faith,
hope and love
And from the
depths of my soul I worship You,
Though I am but
nothingness.
I bow down before
You, O hidden God
And love You with
all my heart.
The veils of
mystery hinder me not at all;
I love You as do
Your chosen ones in heaven.
I bow down before
You, O Lamb of God
Who take away the
sins of my soul,
Whom I receive
into my heart each morn,
You who are my
saving help.
+ J. M. J.
Cracow, October
20, 1937.
1570 O Greatly Merciful God,
Infinite Goodness, today all mankind calls out from the abyss of its misery
to Your mercy-to Your compassion, O God; and it is with its mighty voice of
misery that it cries out. Gracious God, do not reject the prayer of this
earth's exiles! O Lord, Goodness beyond our understanding, Who are
acquainted with our misery through and through, and know that by our own
power we cannot ascend to You, we implore You: anticipate us with Your
grace and keep on increasing Your mercy in us, that we may faithfully do
Your holy will all through our life and at death's hour. Let the
omnipotence of Your mercy shield us from the darts of our salvation's
enemies, that we may with confidence, as Your children, await Your final
coming-that day known to You alone. And we expect to obtain everything
promised us by Jesus in spite of all our wretchedness. For Jesus is our
Hope: Through His merciful Heart, as through an open gate, we pass through
to heaven.
1733 + Welcome,
hidden Love, life of my soul! I welcome You, Jesus, under these
insignificant forms of bread. Welcome, sweetest Mercy, who pour Yourself
out for souls. Welcome, Infinite Goodness, who pour out everywhere torrents
of Your graces. Welcome, O veiled Brightness, the Light of souls. Welcome,
O Fount of inexhaustible mercy, O purest Spring from which life and
holiness gush forth for us. Welcome, Delight of pure souls. Welcome, only
Hope of sinful souls.
1751
+ O Jesus, concealed in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, my only love
and mercy, I commend to You all the needs of my body and soul. You can help
me, because You are Mercy itself. In You lies all my hope.
[In the original there follows a completely blank page.]
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-1-2, 24, 68-69, 72, 76-77, 97, 283,
304)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-308-310, 317, 319, 343, 356, 386)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-650, 681, 687, 746, 950-951)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-965, 995, 998 )
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1065, 1151, 1195)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1321, 1324)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1570)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1733)
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