The Power of Witness
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December 26, 2018. Feast
of Saint Stephen, first martyr
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Matthew 10:17-22
Jesus said to his disciples: “Beware of men,
for they will hand you over to courts and scourge you in their synagogues,
and you will be led before governors and kings for my sake as a witness
before them and the pagans. When they hand you over, do not worry about how
you are to speak or what you are to say. You will be given at that moment
what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your
Father speaking through you. Brother will hand over brother to death, and the
father his child; children will rise up against parents and have them put to
death. You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to
the end will be saved.”
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I open my heart to You on this new day. Because of Your
unfailing love for me, You deserve my deep gratitude and complete confidence
in You, so I set my entire being at Your disposal. Do with me what You wish.
I know that You love me and that nothing that can truly harm me will happen
as long as I keep striving to live in Your love.
Petition: Lord, help me to experience Your forgiveness and learn to
forgive in return.
1. “Do Not Hold This Sin Against Them!” These words of St. Stephen (Acts 7:60)
repeat Christ’s last words on earth. He has entered into Christ’s heart. He
is on fire for his Lord. This fire is making him pass through the same
crucible of rejection and death that Christ passed through. And he is walking
in the fire without being scorched. His heart burns so much for Christ that
it cannot fester with hatred and despair. Like his Lord, he wants only the
salvation of his persecutors. Am I letting my heart to be ignited with the
flame of love that burns in that Child in the manger? Am I showing the zeal
of love that is selfless service?
2. The Case of Saul: The Acts of the Apostles records the
approval of Stephen’s martyrdom by Saul. Saul was a man who thought he
understood everything. He thought he knew how evil Stephen was and what a
threat his teaching brought. His intentions seemed correct, but he was dead
wrong. Saul will later speak of himself as someone born dead. He was dead ––
dead in his soul – because he had missed the point. Yet God is merciful. Saul
soon becomes St. Paul. Jesus accepts the prayer of Stephen just as the Father
accepts the prayer of Jesus. We do not need to be afraid. God accepts our
prayers, too. He will do marvels if we persevere in prayer and service.
3. Hard of Heart: We’re often pushed out of our comfort zone
by Christ’s message. We are ready to be forgiven by Christ and by others, but
it is not so easy to take the logical next step of quickly and easily
forgiving others. To become a forgiving St. Stephen we need to keep in mind
that we, too, are Sauls. The Christmas Season is a perfect time for a change
of heart. By contemplating today the loving face of God in that child in the
manger we can experience his tender, infinite love for us. Anchored in his
friendship we can gain the magnanimity of heart to set aside any ill will
from past injuries and desire for everyone to find the peace and joy that
only comes from knowing the Word Incarnate.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, thank You for the example of St.
Stephen, the first martyr of Your young Church. On this day after Your birth,
You also show me the birth of total courage in love. I believe that I am safe
in Your arms no matter how hard the difficulties. I believe that You entrust
me with your mission. Today I renew the commitment to be faithful to my
mission as a Christian and an apostle “till death on the battlefield.” Jesus,
You are my Lord. I will follow You.
Resolution: Today I will look for the positive side in
everyone I meet. I will look beyond their limitations. I will forgive anyone
who might offend me.
Excerpts from the
DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska
25 During the night, the Mother of
God visited me, holding the Infant Jesus in Her arms. My soul was filled with
joy, and I said, "Mary, my Mother, do You know how terribly I
suffer?" And the Mother of God answered me, I know how much you
suffer, but do not be afraid. I share with you your suffering, and I shall
always do so. She smiled warmly and disappeared. At once, strength and a
great courage sprang up anew in my soul; but that lasted only one day. It
seemed as though hell had conspired against me. A terrible hatred began to
break out in my soul, a hatred for all that is holy and divine. It seemed to
me that these spiritual torments would be my lot for the rest of my life. I
turned to the Blessed Sacrament and said to Jesus, "Jesus, my Spouse, do
You not see that my soul is dying because of its longing for You? How can You
hide Yourself from a heart that loves You so sincerely? Forgive me, Jesus;
may Your holy will be done in me. I will suffer silently like a dove, without
complaining. I will not allow my heart even one single cry of sorrowful
complaint."
38 In order to purify a soul,
Jesus uses whatever instruments He likes. My soul underwent a complete
abandonment on the part of creatures; often my best intentions were
misinterpreted by the sisters,[26] a type of suffering which is most painful;
but God allows it, and we must accept it because in this way we become more
like Jesus. There was one thing which I could not understand for a long time:
Jesus ordered me to tell everything to my Superiors, but my Superiors did not
believe what I said and treated me with pity as though I were being deluded
or were imagining things.
Because of this, believing myself to be deluded, I resolved to avoid God interiorly for fear of these illusions. But the grace of God pursued me at every step, and God spoke to me when I least expected it.
57 O my Jesus, You are the life of
my life. You know only too well that I long for nothing but the glory of Your
Name and that souls come to know Your goodness. Why do souls avoid You,
Jesus?-I don't understand that. Oh, if I could only cut my heart into tiny pieces
and in this way offer to You, O Jesus, each piece as a heart whole and
entire, to make up in part for the hearts that do not love You! I love You,
Jesus, with every drop of my blood, and I would gladly shed my blood for You
to give You a proof of the sincerity of my love. O God, the more I know You
the less I can comprehend You, but this "non-comprehension" lets me
realize how great You are! And it is this impossibility of comprehending You
which enflames my heart anew for You, O Lord. From the moment when You let me
fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus, I have been at peace and desired
nothing else. I found my destiny at the moment when my soul lost itself in
You, the only object of my love. In comparison with you, everything is
nothing. Sufferings, adversities, humiliations, failures and suspicions that
have come my way are splinters that keep alive the fire of my love for You, O
Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus. Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
67 When I fell sick [probably the
beginning of consumption] after my first vows and when, despite the kind and
solicitous care of my Superiors and the efforts of the doctor, I felt neither
better nor worse, remarks began to reach my ears which inferred that I was
making believe. With that, my suffering was doubled, and this lasted for
quite a long time. One day I complained to Jesus that I was being a burden to
the sisters. Jesus answered me, You are not living for yourself but for
souls, and other souls will profit from your sufferings. Your prolonged
suffering will give them the light and strength to accept My will.
68 The heaviest suffering for me
was that it seemed to me that neither my prayers nor my good works were
pleasing to God. I did not dare lift up my eyes to heaven. This caused me
such great suffering during the community exercises in the chapel that one
day Mother Superior [Raphael] called me aside after the exercises and said to
me, "Sister, ask God for grace and consolation, because I can see for
myself and the sisters keep telling me that the very sight of you evokes pity.
I really do not know what to do with you, Sister. I command you to stop
tormenting yourself for no reason."
But all these conferences with Mother Superior brought me no relief, nor did they clarify anything for me. Rather, even greater darkness hid God from me. I looked for help in the confessional, but not even there did I find it. A saintly priest wanted to help me, but I was so miserable that I couldn't even define my trouble, and that vexed me even more. A deathly sadness penetrated my soul to such an extent that I was unable to hide it, and it was apparent to those around me. I lost hope. The night was growing darker and darker. The priest to whom I went to confession said to me, "I see very special graces in you, Sister, and I am not worried about you at all; why are you torturing yourself in this way?" But at that time I did not understand at all what he was saying and was extremely surprised when, by way of penance, I was ordered to say the Te Deum or the Magnificat, or to run fast around the garden in the evening, or else to laugh out loud ten times a day. These penances were very surprising to me; but even with that the priest was not able to give me much help. Evidently, God wanted me to give Him glory through suffering. That priest consoled me, saying that in my present situation I was more pleasing to God than if I were filled with the greatest consolations. "It is a very great grace, Sister, "he told me, "that in your present condition, with all the torments of soul you are experiencing, you not only do not offend God, but you even try to practice virtues. I am looking into your soul, and I see God's great plans and special graces there; and seeing this, I give thanks to the Lord." But despite all that, my soul was in a state of torture; and in the midst of unspeakable torments, I imitated the blind man who entrusts himself to his guide, holding his hand firmly, not giving up obedience for a single moment, and this was my only safety in this fiery trial. 69 +O Jesus, eternal Truth, strengthen my feeble forces; You can do all things, Lord. I know that without You all my efforts are in vain. O Jesus, do not hide from me, for I cannot live without You. Listen to the cry of my soul. Your mercy has not been exhausted, Lord, so have pity on my misery. Your mercy surpasses the understanding of all Angels and people put together; and so, although it seems to me that You do not hear me, I put my trust in the ocean of Your mercy, and I know that my hope will not be deceived.
73 O my Jesus, despite the deep
night that is all around me and the dark clouds which hide the horizon, I
know that the sun never goes out. O Lord, though I cannot comprehend You and
do not understand Your ways, I nonetheless trust in Your mercy. If it is Your
will, Lord, that I live always in such darkness, may You be blessed. I ask
You only one thing, Jesus: do not allow me to offend You in any way. O my
Jesus, You alone know the longings and the sufferings of my heart. I am glad
I can suffer for You, however little. When I feel that the suffering is more
than I can bear, I take refuge in the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, and I
speak to Him with profound silence.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete
Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on. At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice. The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense. If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
99 When for the first time this
moment was drawing near, I was snatched from it by virtue of holy obedience.
The Directress of Novices, alarmed by my appearance, sent me off to
confession, but the confessor did not understand me, and I experienced no
relief whatsoever. O Jesus, give us experienced priests!
When I told this priest I was undergoing infernal tortures, he answered that he was not worried about my soul, because he saw in it a great grace of God. But I understood nothing of this, and not even the least glimmer of light broke through to my soul.
100 Then my physical strength
began to fail me, and I could no longer carry out my duties. Nor could I any
longer hide my sufferings. Although I did not say a word about them, the look
of pain on my face betrayed me. The Superior told me that the sisters had
come to her saying that, when they look at me in the chapel, they are moved
to pity because I look so terrible. Yet, despite all efforts, the soul is
unable to conceal such suffering.
101 Jesus, You alone know how the
soul, engulfed in darkness, moans in the midst of these torments and, despite
all this, thirsts for God as burning lips thirst for water. It dies and
withers; it dies a death without death; that is to say, it cannot die. All
its efforts come to nothing; it is under a powerful hand. Now the soul comes
under the power of the Just One. All exterior temptations cease; all that
surrounds it becomes silent, like a dying person who loses contact with
everything around it: the person's entire soul is in the hand of the Just
God, the Thrice-Holy God,-rejected for all eternity! This is the culminating
moment, and God alone can test a soul in this way, because He alone knows
what the soul can endure.
When the soul has been saturated through and through by this infernal fire, it is, as it were, cast headlong into great despair. My soul experienced this moment when I was all alone in my cell. When my soul began to sink into this despair, I felt that the end was near. But I seized my little crucifix and clutched it tightly in my hand. And now I felt my body separate itself from my soul; and though I wanted to go to my Superiors, I no longer had the physical strength. I uttered my last words: "I trust in Your Mercy!"-and it seemed to me that I provoked God to an even greater anger. And now I was drowned in despair, and all that was left me was a moan of unadulterated pain which, from time to time, tore itself from my soul. The soul is in agony-and it seemed to me that I would remain in this state, because by my own strength I could not emerge from it. Every recollection of God opened up an unspeakable ocean of suffering, and yet despite this there is something within the soul which is drawn to Him, though it seems to her for this only-that she suffer more. The memory of the love with which God formerly surrounded it is still another kind of suffering. His gaze pierces it, and everything within the soul is burned by this gaze. 102 After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell and found me almost dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the ground. My strength returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be distressed about anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of obedience." Then she said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is calling you to a high degree of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close to Himself since He has allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister, because this is a sign that He wants you to have a high place in heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these words. When I went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free from everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I perceived the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
103 Suddenly I saw the Lord
interiorly, and He said to me, Fear not, My daughter; I am with you. In
that single moment, all the darkness and torments vanished, my senses were
inundated with unspeakable joy, [and] the faculties of my soul filled with
light.
104 I want to add that, although
my soul was already in the rays of His love, traces of my past tortures
remained on my body for two days: a deathly pale face and bloodshot eyes.
Jesus alone knows what I suffered. What I have written is very poor compared
to the reality. I cannot put it in words; it seemed to me that I had come
back from the other world. I feel an aversion for everything that is created;
I snuggle to the heart of God like a baby to its mother's breast. I see
everything differently now. I am conscious of what the Lord, by one single
word, has done in my soul, and I live by it. I shudder at the recollection of
this past torture. I would not have believed that one could suffer so, if I
had not gone through it myself. This is a completely spiritual suffering.
699 On one occasion, I heard these words: My
daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy. I desire that
the Feast of Mercy [139]
be a refuge and
shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very
depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon
those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to
Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of
sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which
grace flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its
sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of
angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that
exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every
soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout
eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is
My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter.
Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy.
1163 When I went to talk with the
Lord for a while, I heard a voice in my soul: My- I will not give you the
grace to reveal yourself to someone else, and even if you did bare yourself,
I will not give that priest the grace needed to understand you. At this time,
it is My desire that you put up with yourself patiently. My daughter, it is
not My will that you should tell everybody about the gifts I have granted
you. I have entrusted you to the care of the friend of My Heart, and under
his direction your soul will bloom. I have given him light to recognize My
life in your soul.
1164 My daughter, when I was
before Herod, I obtained a grace for you; namely, that you would be able to
rise above human scorn and follow faithfully in My footsteps. Be silent when
they do not want to acknowledge your truth, because it is then that you speak
more eloquently.
1165 Know this, My daughter: if
you strive for perfection you will sanctify many souls; and if you do not strive
for sanctity, by the same token, many souls will remain imperfect. Know that
their perfection will depend on your perfection, and the greater part of the
responsibility for these souls will fall on you.
1166 Then He said to me, Do not
fear, My child; but remain faithful only to My grace...
1167 Satan has admitted to me that
I am the object of his hatred. He said that "a thousand souls do me less
harm than you do when you speak of the great mercy of the Almighty One. The
greatest sinners regain confidence and return to God, and I lose everything.
But what is more, you persecute me personally with that unfathomable mercy of
the Almighty One." I took note of the great hatred Satan has for the
Mercy of God. He does not want to acknowledge that God is good.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-25, 38, 57, 67-69, 73, 98-104)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-699, 742)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1163-1167, 1184)
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Disyembre 26, 2018
The Power of Witness-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations
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