Master, Teach Us to
Pray
March 12, 2019. Tuesday of the First Week of Lent
Father José LaBoy, LC
Matthew
6:7-15
Jesus said to his
disciples: "In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they
will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father
knows what you need before you ask him. This is how you are to pray: Our Father
who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on
earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our
trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into
temptation, but deliver us from evil. If you forgive men their transgressions,
your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, neither
will your Father forgive your transgressions."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I am aware that You know what is best for me,
and that is why I believe in You. You are more interested in my spiritual
well-being than I am, and that is why I trust in You. You always give me Your
loving forgiveness in spite of my sins, and that is why I love You.
Petition: Lord, teach me how to pray.
1. Prayer is the Fruit of Silence: Some people like to talk. They
demand to be listened to, but they don’t have the same interest in listening.
However, you usually can’t listen if you aren’t used to silence. St. Theresa of
Calcutta once wrote that prayer is the fruit of silence. Jesus wants us to
understand that prayer is more about listening than about talking. When you are
with someone who knows much about a topic that interests you, you limit
yourself to asking questions and dedicate yourself to listening. Jesus is the
revealer of God the Father. That means our main interest in prayer should be
asking Jesus, our Lord, about his Father and then dedicating ourselves to
listening.
2. God is Our Loving Father: Jesus tells us that God the Father
knows what we need before we ask him. Still, we should ask, because in asking
we become aware that we have needs that only God our Father can grant us. We
learn to ask God what we most need for our salvation. That is why Jesus taught
us the “Our Father.” Praying the “Our Father” reminds us that he is the father
of all, and therefore every human person is truly our brother. In praying the
“Our Father,” we essentially ask for three things: that God have the first
place in our lives, that he give us our material and spiritual sustenance, and
that he grant us his forgiveness.
3. Forgive in Order to Be Forgiven: Jesus emphasizes the importance of
forgiveness. As the First Letter of John reminds us, we are all sinners (cf.
1:8). One of the essential characteristics of Christian life is seeking to
encounter Christ’s loving mercy. We can really experience it only when we put
it into practice ourselves. We can admire a person who parachutes off a plane,
but we won’t understand the experience until we skydive ourselves. We grasp the
true meaning of mercy when we forgive others. Our mercy will not be the same as
Christ’s: He never sinned, and therefore he forgives us even though we don’t
deserve it. If Christ has forgiven us, how can we dare not to forgive others?
Conversation with Christ: Lord, I thank You for teaching me to
pray to the Father. I don’t always pray as much as I should. Please help me to
pray more and better. Please help me to want with all my heart to give God the
first place in my life, preferring his will to mine. Help me to treat others as
I would like them to treat me, forgiving them when they offend me.
Resolution: I will dedicate a specific time to prayer each day.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
17 At last the time came when the
door of the convent was opened for me - it was the first of August [1925], in
the evening, the vigil [of a feast] of Our Lady of the Angels. I felt immensely
happy; it seemed to em that I had stepped into the life of Paradise. A single
prayer was bursting forth from my heart, one of thanksgiving.
18 However, after three weeks I
became aware that there is so very little time here for prayer, and of many
other things which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a religious community
of a stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the
will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather the temptation, was
growing stronger and stronger to the point where I decided one day to announce
my departure to Mother Superior and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God
arranged the circumstances in such a way that I could not get to the Mother
Superior [Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I
asked Jesus for light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except
a strange unrest which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I
made up my mind to approach Mother Superior the next morning right afte rMass
and tell her of my decision.
32 Another time I heard these
words, Go to the Superior and ask her to allow you to make a daily hour of
adoration for nine days. During this adoration try to unite yourself in prayer
with My Mother. Pray with all your heart in union with Mary, and try also
during this time to make the Way of the Cross. I received the permission,
though not for a full hour, but only for whatever time was left me after I had
carried out my duties.
41 On one occasion I saw a
servant of God in the immediate danger of committing a mortal sin. I started to
beg God to deign to send down upon me all the torments of hell and all the
sufferings He wished if only this priest would be set free and snatched from
the occasion of committing a sin. Jesus heard my prayer and, that very instant,
I felt a crown of thorns on my head. The thorns penetrated my head with great
force right into my brain. This lasted for three hours; the servant of God was
set free from this sin, and his soul was strengthened by a special grace of
God.
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father
Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from
these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to your confessor. If
you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is
to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l
urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect them, but always do so in
consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
62 O life so dull and
monotonous, how many treasures you contain! When I look at everything with the
eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear.
The grace which is given me in this hour will not be repeated in the next. It
may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. Time goes on, never
to return again. Whatever is enclosed in it will never change; it seals with a
seal for eternity.
91 O my Jesus, You alone know
what persecutions I suffer, and this only because I am being faithful to You
and following Your orders. You are my strength; sustain me that I may always
carry out what You ask of me. Of myself I can do nothing, but when You sustain
me, all difficulties are nothing for me. O my Lord, I can see very well that
from the time when my soul first received the capacity to know You, my life has
been a continual struggle which has become increasingly intense.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist.
O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way You have marked out for me.
Every morning during meditation, I prepare myself for the whole day's struggle. Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory; and so it is. I fear the day when I do not receive Holy Communion. This Bread of t lie Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me - it is the Eucharist.
O my Jesus, the misunderstandings are so great; sometimes, were it not for the Eucharist, I would not have the courage to go any further along the way You have marked out for me.
92 Humiliation is my daily food.
I understand that the bride must herself share in everything that is the
groom's; and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those times when I
suffer much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at such
moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to help me praise
God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I receive Jesus
in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue so that I
would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to praise God
without cease. Great are the faults committed by the tongue. The soul will not
attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its tongue.
94 O my Lord, inflame my heart
with love for You, that my spirit may not grow weary amidst the storms, the
sufferings and the trials. You see how weak I am. Love can do all.
95 +A Deeper Knowledge of God
and the Terror of the Soul.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him.
But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
In the beginning, God lets himself be known as Holiness, Justice, Goodness - that is to say, Mercy. The soul does not come to know this all at once, but piecemeal, in flashes; that is to say, when God draws near. And this does not last for long, because the soul could not bear such light. During prayer the soul experiences flashes of this light which make it impossible to pray as before. Try as it may to force itself to pray as it did before, all is in vain; it becomes completely impossible for it to continue to pray as it did before it received this light. This light which has touched the soul is alive within it, and nothing can either quench or diminish it. This flash of the knowledge of God draws the soul and enkindles its love for Him.
But this same flash, at the same time, allows the soul to know itself as it is; the soul sees its whole interior in a superior light, and it rises up alarmed and terrified. Still, it does not remain under the effects of terror, but it begins to purify itself, to humble and abase itself before the Lord. These lights become stronger and more frequent; the more the soul is crystallized, the more these lights penetrate it. However, if the soul has responded faithfully and courageously to these first graces, God fills it with His consolations and gives himself to it in a perceptible manner. At certain moments, the soul, as it were, enters into intimacy with God and greatly rejoices in this; it believes that it has already reached the degree of perfection destined for it, because its defects and faults are asleep within it, and this makes it think that they no longer exist. Nothing seems difficult for it; it is ready for everything. It begins to plunge itself into God and taste the divine delights. It is carried along by grace and does not take account of the fact that the time of trial and testing may come. And, in fact, this state does not last long. Other moments will soon come. I should add here, however, that the soul will respond more faithfully to divine grace if it has a well - informed confessor to whom it can confide everything.
97 Faith staggers under the
impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to cling to God by an act
of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further: hope and love are put
to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports the soul in secret,
so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise it would be
impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can allow to
befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed truths
and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look, no one
understands you; why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it sound in
its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against God. It
sees what it does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to hear. And,
oh, it is a terrible thing at times like these not to have an experienced
confessor! The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one should make
every effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed confessor, for
the soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge of the
precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send them to
a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with Him and
which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has His own
plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this way for
His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is tried.
But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of trials,
the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+ The Trial of Trials, Complete
Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
102 After some time, one of the
sisters came into the cell and found me almost dead. She was frightened and
went to find the Directress of Novices who, in the name of holy obedience
ordered me to get up from the ground. My strength returned immediately, and I
got up, trembling. The Directress recognized immediately the state of my soul
and spoke to me about the inscrutable mercy of God, saying, "Do not be
distressed about anything, Sister. I command this of you in virtue of
obedience." Then she said to me, "I see now, Sister, that God is
calling you to a high degree of holiness; the Lord wants to draw you very close
to Himself since He has allowed these things to happen to you so soon. Be
faithful to God, Sister, because this is a sign that He wants you to have a
high place in heaven." However, I did not understand anything of these
words. When I went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul had been set free
from everything, as though I had just come forth from the hand of God. I
perceived the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny child.
106 Though these are frightening
things, the soul should not be too fearful, because God will never test us
beyond what we are able to bear. On the other hand, He may never send us such
sufferings, but I write this because, if it pleases the Lord to let a soul pass
through such sufferings, it should not be afraid but, insofar as this depends
on the soul itself, it should remain faithful to God. God will do a soul no
harm, because He is Love itself, and in this unfathomable love has called it
into being. However, when I was so tormented, I myself did not understand this.
107 O my God, I have come to
know that I am not of this earth; You, O Lord, have poured this profound
awareness into my soul. My communion is more with heaven than with earth,
though I in no way neglect my duties.
111 When, in the midst of these
interior torments, I tried to accuse myself in confession of the smallest
trifles, the priest was surprised that I had not committed graver faults, and
he said to me, "If you are as faithful as this to God during these
sufferings, this in itself is evidence to me that God is sustaining you,
Sister, with a special grace, and it is a good thing that you do not understand
this." It is a strange thing, nevertheless, that confessors could neither
understand me nor set my mind at peace concerning these matters, until I met
Father Andrasz and, later on, Father Sopocko.
114 +Oh, how pleasing are the
hymns flowing from a suffering soul! All heaven delights in such a soul,
especially when it is tested by God. It mournfully sings out its longing for
Him. Great is its beauty, because it comes from God. The soul walks through the
jungle of life, wounded by God's love. With one foot only it touches the
ground.
115 + When a soul has come out
of these tribulations, it is deeply humble. Its purity of soul is great. It
knows better without need of reflecting, as it were, what it ought to do at a
given moment and what to forbear. It feels the lightest touch of grace and is
very faithful to God. It recognizes God from afar and continuously rejoices in
Him. It discovers God very quickly in other souls and in its environment in
general. The soul has been purified by God himself. God, as Pure Spirit,
introduces the soul to a life which is purely spiritual. God himself has first
prepared and purified the soul; that is, He has made it capable of close
communion with himself. The soul, in a state of loving repose, communes
spiritually with the Lord. It speaks to God without the need of expressing
itself through the senses. God fills it with His light.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
The enlightened mind sees clearly and distinguishes the various degrees of the spiritual life. It recognizes [that state] when its union with God was imperfect: where the senses were involved, and the spirit was linked with the senses in a manner-exalted and special, to be sure but not yet perfect. There is a higher and more perfect union with God; namely, intellectual union. Here, the soul is safer from illusions; its spirituality is purer and more profound. In a life where the senses are involved, there is more danger of illusion. Both for the soul and for its confessor, prudence must play a greater part. There are moments when God introduces the soul to a purely spiritual state. The senses dim and are seemingly dead. The soul is most closely united to God; it is immersed in the Deity; its knowledge is complete and perfect, not sporadic as before, but total and absolute. It rejoices in this. But I want to say more about those moments of trial; at those times the confessor must have patience with such a soul. But the soul must have even greater patience with itself.
129 Satan always takes advantage
of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to the surface-for
your faithfulness and sincerity-this is your reward. How can one be sincere
when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer. Again I
fell to the ground under this weight, and I broke out in a sweat, and fear began
to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a voice
within my soul, Do not fear; I am with you. And an unusual light
illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such sorrows.
I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new courage to
suffer.
132 I must again mention that
there are some confessors who seem to be true spiritual fathers, but only as
long as things go well. When the soul finds itself in greater need, they become
perplexed, and either cannot or will not understand the soul. They try to get
rid of the person as soon as possible. But if the soul is humble, it will
always profit in some little way or other. God himself will sometimes cast a
shaft of light into the depths of the soul, because of its humility and faith.
The confessor will sometimes say something he had never intended to say,
without even realizing it himself. Oh, let the soul believe that such words are
the words of the Lord himself! Though indeed we ought to believe that every
word spoken in the confessional is God's, what I have referred to above is
something that comes directly from God. And the soul perceives that the priest
is not master of himself, that he is saying things that he would rather not
say. This is how God rewards faith.
I have experienced this many times myself. A certain very learned and respected priest [probably Father Wilkowski, the sisters' confessor at Plock], to whom I sometimes happened to go to confession, was always severe and opposed to these matters [which I brought up to him]. But on one occasion he replied to me, "Bear in mind, Sister, that if God is asking this of you, you should not oppose Him. God sometimes wants to be praised in just this way. Be at peace; what God has started, He will finish. But I say this to you: faithfulness to God and humility. And once again: humility. Bear well in mind what I have told you today." I was delighted, and I thought that perhaps this priest had understood me. But it so turned out that I never went to confession to him again.
I have experienced this many times myself. A certain very learned and respected priest [probably Father Wilkowski, the sisters' confessor at Plock], to whom I sometimes happened to go to confession, was always severe and opposed to these matters [which I brought up to him]. But on one occasion he replied to me, "Bear in mind, Sister, that if God is asking this of you, you should not oppose Him. God sometimes wants to be praised in just this way. Be at peace; what God has started, He will finish. But I say this to you: faithfulness to God and humility. And once again: humility. Bear well in mind what I have told you today." I was delighted, and I thought that perhaps this priest had understood me. But it so turned out that I never went to confession to him again.
136 And the Lord gave me to know
that the whole mystery depended on me, on my free consent to the sacrifice
given with full use of my faculties. In this free and conscious act lies the
whole power and value before His Majesty. Even if none of these things for
which I offered myself would ever happen to me, before the Lord everything was
as though it had already been consummated.
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with me at every moment of my life."
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with me at every moment of my life."
138 A great mystery has been
accomplished between God and me. Courage and strength have remained in my soul.
When the time of adoration came to an end, I came out and calmly faced
everything I had feared so much before. When I came out into the corridor, a
great suffering and humiliation, at the hands of a certain person, was awaiting
me. I accepted it with submission to a higher will and snuggled closely to the
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting Him know that I was ready for that for
which I had offered myself.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed; each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage, she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who follow those inspirations faithfully.
Suffering seemed to spring out of the ground. Even Mother Margaret herself was surprised. For others, many things passed unnoticed, for indeed it wasn't worth paying any attention to them; but in my case, nothing passed unnoticed; each word was analyzed, each step watched. One sister said to me, "Get ready, Sister, to receive a small cross at the hands of Mother Superior. I feel sorry for you." But as for me, I rejoiced at this in the depths of my soul and had been ready for it for a long time. When she saw my courage, she was surprised. I see now that a soul cannot do much of itself, but with God it can do all things. Behold what God's grace can do. Few are the souls that are always watchful for divine graces, and even fewer of such souls who follow those inspirations faithfully.
139 Still, a soul which is
faithful to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it must submit them to the
control of a very wise and learned priest; and until it is quite certain, it
should remain distrustful. It should not, on its own initiative alone, put its
trust in these inspirations and all other higher graces, because it can thus
expose itself to great losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
145 Oh, how wretched my soul is
for having wasted so many graces! I was running away from God, and He pursued
me with his graces. I most often experienced God's graces when I least expected
them. From the moment He gave me a spiritual director, I have been more
faithful to grace. Thanks to the director and his watchfulness over my soul, I
have learned what guidance means and how Jesus looks at it. Jesus warned me of
the least fault and stressed that He himself judges the matter that I present
to my confessor; and [He told me] that ... any transgressions against the
confessor touch Me myself.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
When under his direction my soul began to experience deep recollection and peace, I often heard these words in my soul: Strengthen yourself for combat - repeated over and over at various times.
+Jesus often makes known to me what He does not like in my soul, and He has more than once rebuked me for what seemed to be trifles, but which were, in fact, things of great importance. He has warned me and tried me like a Master. For many years He himself educated me, until the moment when He gave me a spiritual director. Previously, He himself had made clear to me what I did not understand; but now, He tells me to ask my confessor about everything and often says, I will answer you through his mouth. Be at peace. It has never happened to me that I have received an answer which was contrary to what the Lord wanted of me, when I presented it to the spiritual director [Father Sopocko]. It sometimes happens that Jesus first asks certain things of me, about which no one knows anything, and then, when I kneel at the confessional, my confessor gives me the same order-however, this is infrequent.
+When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins.
There are attacks when a soul has no time to think or seek advice; then it must enter into a life-or-death struggle. Sometimes it is good to flee for cover in the wound of the Heart of Jesus, without answering a single word. By this very act the enemy is already defeated.
In time of peace, as well, the soul continues making efforts, just as in time of battle. It must exercise itself, and do so with energy; otherwise it has no chance of attaining victory. I regard the time of peace as a time of preparation for victory. The soul must be ever watchful; watchfulness and again, watchfulness. The soul that reflects receives much light. A distracted soul runs the risk of a fall, and let it not be surprised when it does fall. O Spirit of God, Director of the soul, wise is he whom You have trained! But for the Spirit of God to act in the soul, peace and recollection are needed.
146 Prayer.-A soul arms itself
by prayer for all kinds of combat. In whatever state the soul may be, it ought
to pray. A soul which is pure and beautiful must pray, or else it will lose its
beauty; a soul which is striving after this purity must pray, or else it will
never attain it; a soul which is newly converted must pray, or else it will
fall again; a sinful soul, plunged in sins, must pray so that it might rise
again. There is no soul which is not bound to pray, for every single grace
comes to the soul through prayer.
147 I recall that I have
received most light during adoration which I made lying prostrate before the
Blessed Sacrament for half an hour every day throughout Lent. During that time
I came to know myself and God more profoundly. And yet, even though I had the
superiors' permission to do so, I encountered many obstacles to praying in such
a way. Let the soul be aware that, in order to pray and persevere in prayer,
one must arm oneself with patience and cope bravely with exterior and interior
difficulties. The interior difficulties are discouragement, dryness, heaviness
of spirit and temptations. The exterior difficulties are human respect and
time; one must observe the time set apart for prayer. This has been my personal
experience because, when I did not pray at the time assigned for prayer, later
on I could not do it because of my duties; or if I did manage to do so, this
was only with great difficulty, because my thoughts kept wandering off to my
duties. I also experienced this difficulty: when a soul has prayed well and
left prayer in a state of profound interior recollection, others resist its
recollection; and so, the soul must be patient to persevere in prayer. It often
happened to me that when my soul was more deeply immersed in God, and I had
derived greater fruit from prayer, and God's presence accompanied me during the
day, and at work there was more recollection and greater precision and effort
at my duty, this was precisely when I received the most rebukes for being
negligent in my duty and indifferent to everything; because less recollected
souls want others to be like them, for they are a constant [source of] remorse
to them.
148 +A noble and delicate soul,
even the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in
everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most
hidden things. It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all things,
it thanks God for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all things, and
it gives all glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not confused when
the time of ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and
makes little of human opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the
Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a
child to its mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul
passes on without fear or difficulty.
149 When the Lord himself wants
to be close to a soul and to lead it, He will remove everything that is
external. When I fell ill and was taken to the infirmary, I suffered much
unpleasantness because of this. There were two of us sick in the infirmary.
Sisters would come to see Sister N., but no one came to visit me. It is true
that there was only one infirmary, but each one had her own cell. The winter
nights were long, and Sister N. had the light and the radio headphones, while I
could not even prepare my meditation for lack of a light.
When nearly two weeks had passed in this way, I complained to the Lord one evening that I was suffering so much and that I could not even prepare my meditation because there was no light. And the Lord said that He would come every evening and give me the points for the next day's meditation. These points always concerned His sorrowful Passion. He would say, Consider My sufferings before Pilate. And thus, point by point, I meditated upon His sorrowful Passion for one week. From that moment, a great joy entered my soul, and I no longer wanted either the visitors or the light; Jesus sufficed me for everything. The superiors were indeed very solicitous for the sick, but the Lord ordained that I should feel forsaken. This best of masters withdraws every created thing in order that He himself might act. Many a time, I have experienced such sufferings and persecutions that Mother M. [probably Mother Margaret] herself said to me, "Sister, along your path, sufferings just spring up out of the ground. I look upon you, Sister, as one crucified. But I can see that Jesus has a hand in this. Be faithful to the Lord."
When nearly two weeks had passed in this way, I complained to the Lord one evening that I was suffering so much and that I could not even prepare my meditation because there was no light. And the Lord said that He would come every evening and give me the points for the next day's meditation. These points always concerned His sorrowful Passion. He would say, Consider My sufferings before Pilate. And thus, point by point, I meditated upon His sorrowful Passion for one week. From that moment, a great joy entered my soul, and I no longer wanted either the visitors or the light; Jesus sufficed me for everything. The superiors were indeed very solicitous for the sick, but the Lord ordained that I should feel forsaken. This best of masters withdraws every created thing in order that He himself might act. Many a time, I have experienced such sufferings and persecutions that Mother M. [probably Mother Margaret] herself said to me, "Sister, along your path, sufferings just spring up out of the ground. I look upon you, Sister, as one crucified. But I can see that Jesus has a hand in this. Be faithful to the Lord."
150 + I want to write down a
dream that I had about Saint Therese of the Child Jesus. I was still a novice
at the time and was going through some difficulties which I did not know how to
overcome. They were interior difficulties connected with exterior ones. I made
novenas to various saints, but the situation grew more and more difficult. The
sufferings it caused me were so great that I did not know how to go on living,
but suddenly the thought occurred to me that I should pray to Saint Therese of
the Child Jesus. I started a novena to this Saint, because before entering the
convent I had had a great devotion to her. Lately I had somewhat neglected this
devotion, but in my need I began again to pray with great fervor.
On the fifth day of the novena, I dreamed of Saint Therese, but it was as if she were still living on earth. She hid from me the fact that she was a saint and began to comfort me, saying that I should not be worried about this matter, but should trust more in God. She said, "I suffered greatly, too," but I did not quite believe her and said, "It seems to me that you have not suffered at all." But Saint Therese answered me in a convincing manner that she had suffered very much indeed and said to me, "Sister, know that in three days the difficulty will come to a happy conclusion." When I was not very willing to believe her, she revealed to me that she was a saint. At that moment, a great joy filled my soul, and I said to her, "You are a saint?" "Yes," she answered, "I am a saint. Trust that this matter will be resolved in three days:" And I said, "Dear sweet Therese, tell me, shall I go to heaven?" And she answered, "Yes, you will go to heaven, Sister." "And will I be a saint?" To which she replied, "Yes, you will be a saint." "But, little Therese, shall I be a saint as you are, raised to the altar?" And she answered, "Yes, you will be a saint just as I am, but you must trust in the Lord Jesus." I then asked her if my mother and father would go to heaven, will [unfinished sentence] And she replied that they would. I further asked, "And will my brothers and sisters go to heaven?" She told me to pray hard for them, but gave me no definite answer. I understood that they were in need of much prayer.
This was a dream. And as the proverb goes, dreams are phantoms; God is faith. Nevertheless, three days later the difficulty was solved very easily, just as she had said. And everything in this affair turned out exactly as she said it would. It was a dream, but it had its significance.
On the fifth day of the novena, I dreamed of Saint Therese, but it was as if she were still living on earth. She hid from me the fact that she was a saint and began to comfort me, saying that I should not be worried about this matter, but should trust more in God. She said, "I suffered greatly, too," but I did not quite believe her and said, "It seems to me that you have not suffered at all." But Saint Therese answered me in a convincing manner that she had suffered very much indeed and said to me, "Sister, know that in three days the difficulty will come to a happy conclusion." When I was not very willing to believe her, she revealed to me that she was a saint. At that moment, a great joy filled my soul, and I said to her, "You are a saint?" "Yes," she answered, "I am a saint. Trust that this matter will be resolved in three days:" And I said, "Dear sweet Therese, tell me, shall I go to heaven?" And she answered, "Yes, you will go to heaven, Sister." "And will I be a saint?" To which she replied, "Yes, you will be a saint." "But, little Therese, shall I be a saint as you are, raised to the altar?" And she answered, "Yes, you will be a saint just as I am, but you must trust in the Lord Jesus." I then asked her if my mother and father would go to heaven, will [unfinished sentence] And she replied that they would. I further asked, "And will my brothers and sisters go to heaven?" She told me to pray hard for them, but gave me no definite answer. I understood that they were in need of much prayer.
This was a dream. And as the proverb goes, dreams are phantoms; God is faith. Nevertheless, three days later the difficulty was solved very easily, just as she had said. And everything in this affair turned out exactly as she said it would. It was a dream, but it had its significance.
268 October 11,
1933.-Thursday.-I tried to make a Holy Hour, but began it with great
difficulty. A certain yearning started to tear at my heart. My mind was dimmed
so that I could not understand the simplest forms of prayer. And so passed by
an hour of prayer, or rather of struggle. I resolved to pray for a second hour,
but my inner sufferings increased-great dryness and discouragement. I resolved
to pray for a third hour. In the third hour, which I resolved to spend kneeling
without any support, my body started to clamor for rest. But I in no way
relented. I stretched out my arms and, though I spoke no words, I persisted by
sheer will. After a while, I took the ring off my finger and asked Jesus to
look at the ring, that sign of our eternal union, and I offered Jesus the
feelings I had had on the day of perpetual vows. After a while, I feel my heart
inundated with a wave of love. A sudden recollection of spirit, the senses
quiet down, and God's presence pervades my soul. I know only this: that it is
Jesus and I. I saw Him just as He had appeared to me in that instant after my
perpetual vows, when I was likewise making a Holy Hour. Jesus was suddenly
standing before me, stripped of His clothes, His body completely covered with
wounds, His eyes flooded with tears and blood, His face disfigured and covered
with spittle. The Lord then said to me, The bride must resemble her
Betrothed. I understood these words to their very depth. There is no room
for doubt here. My likeness to Jesus must be through suffering and humility.
See what love of human souls has done to Me. My daughter, in your heart I find
everything that so great a number of souls refuses Me. Your heart is My repose.
I often wait with great graces until towards the end of prayer.
274 Jesus gave me the grace of knowing myself. In this
divine light I see my principal fault; it is pride which takes the form of my
closing up within myself and of a lack of simplicity in my relations with
Mother Superior [Irene].
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
The second light concerns speaking. I sometimes talk too much. A thing could be settled in one or two words, and as for me, I take too much time about it. But Jesus wants me to use that time to say some short indulgenced prayers for the souls in purgatory. And the Lord says that every word will be weighed on the day of judgment.
The third light concerns our rules. I have not sufficiently avoided the occasions that lead to breaking the rules, especially that of silence. I will act as if the rule were written just for me; it should not affect me at all how anyone else might act, as long as I myself act as God wishes.
Resolution. Whatever Jesus demands of me regarding external things, I will immediately go and tell my superiors. I shall strive for childlike openness and frankness in my relations with the superior.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A hidden flower is the most
fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my soul a resting place for the
Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful moments, O my Creator, I sing You a
hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss of my trust in You and in Your
mercy!
299 When, on one occasion, my
confessor told me to ask the Lord Jesus the meaning of the two rays in the
image,[77] I answered,
"Very well, I will ask the Lord."
During prayer I heard these words within me: The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls...
These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross.
These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. I desire that the first Sunday after Easter be the Feast of Mercy.
During prayer I heard these words within me: The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls...
These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross.
These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who will dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. I desire that the first Sunday after Easter be the Feast of Mercy.
300 +Ask of my faithful servant
[Father Sopocko] that, on this day, he tell the whole world of My great mercy;
that whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted complete
remission of sins and punishment.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
301 Proclaim that mercy is the
greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy.
God and
Souls. An Act of Oblation.
309 Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S. M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament
Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March 29, 1934.
309 Before heaven and earth, before all the choirs of Angels, before the Most Holy Virgin Mary, before all the Powers of heaven, I declare to the One Triune God that today, in union with Jesus Christ, Redeemer of souls, I make a voluntary offering of myself for the conversion of sinners, especially for those souls who have lost hope in God's mercy. This offering consists in my accepting, with total subjection to God's will, all the sufferings, fears and terrors with which sinners are filled. In return, I give them all the consolations which my soul receives from my communion with God. In a word, I offer everything for them: Holy Masses, Holy Communions, penances, mortifications, prayers. I do not fear the blows, blows of divine justice, because I am united with Jesus. O my God, in this way I want to make amends to You for the souls that do not trust in Your goodness. I hope against all hope in the ocean of Your mercy. My Lord and my God, my portion-my portion forever, I do not base this act of oblation on my own strength, but on the strength that flows from the merits of Jesus Christ. I will daily repeat this act of self-oblation by pronouncing the following prayer which You yourself have taught me, Jesus:
"O Blood and Water which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You!"
S. M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament
Holy Thursday, during Holy Mass, March 29, 1934.
314 +When I went to the garden one
afternoon, my Guardian Angel said to me, "Pray for the dying." And so
I began at once to pray the rosary with the gardeners for the dying. After the
rosary, we said various prayers for the dying. After the prayers, the wards
began to chat gaily among themselves. In spite of the noise they were making, I
heard these words in my soul: "Pray for me!" But as I could not
understand these words very well, I moved a few steps away from the wards,
trying to think who it could be who was asking me to pray. Then I heard the
words: "I am Sister ...."[78] This sister was in Warsaw while I was,
at the time, in Vilnius. "Pray for me until I tell you to stop. I am
dying." Immediately, I began to pray fervently for her, [addressing
myself] to the expiring Heart of Jesus. She gave me no respite, and I kept
praying from three [o'clock] until five. At five, I heard the words:
"Thank you!" and I understood that she had died. But during Holy Mass
on the following day, I continued to pray fervently for her soul. In the
afternoon, a postcard came saying that Sister ... had died at such and such a
time. I understood that it was at the same hour when she had said to me,
"Pray for me."
320 Jesus made known to me how very
pleasing to Him were prayers of atonement. He said to me, The prayer of a
humble and loving soul disarms the anger of My Father and draws down an ocean
of blessings. After the adoration, half way to my cell, I was surrounded by
a , pack of huge black dogs who were jumping and howling and trying to tear me
to pieces. I realized that they were not dogs, but demons. One of them spoke up
in a rage, "Because you have snatched so many souls away from us this
night, we will tear you to pieces." I answered, "If that is the will
of the most merciful God, tear me to pieces, for I have justly deserved it,
because I am the most miserable of all sinners, and God is ever holy, just, and
infinitely merciful." To these words all the demons answered as one,
"Let us flee, for she is not alone; the Almighty is with her!" And
they vanished like dust, like the noise of the road, while I continued on my
way to my cell undisturbed, finishing my Te Deum and pondering the infinite and
unfathomable mercy of God.
325 1934. On the day of the
Assumption of the Mother of God, I did not assist at Holy Mass. The woman
doctor[80] did not allow
me; but I prayed fervently in my cell. After a short time, I saw the Mother of
God, unspeakably beautiful. She said to me, My daughter, what I demand from
you is prayer, prayer, and once again prayer, for the world and especially for
your country. For nine days receive Holy Communion in atonement and unite
yourself closely to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. During these nine days you
will stand before God as an offering; always and everywhere, at all times and
places, day or night, whenever you wake up, pray in the spirit. In spirit, one
can always remain in prayer.
330 +Once, the confessor told me to
pray for his intention, and I began a novena to the Mother of God. This novena
consisted in the prayer, "Hail, Holy Queen," recited nine times.
Toward the end of the novena I saw the Mother of God with the Infant Jesus in
Her arms, and I also saw my confessor kneeling at Her feet and talking with Her.
I did not understand what he was saying to Her, because I was busy talking with
the Infant Jesus, who came down from His Mother's arms and approached me. I
could not stop wondering at His beauty. I heard a few of the words that the
Mother of God spoke to him [i.e., my confessor] but not everything. The words
were: I am not only the Queen of Heaven, but also the Mother of Mercy and
your Mother. And at that moment She stretched out her right hand, in which
She was clasping her mantle, and She covered the priest with it. At that
moment, the vision vanished.
341 November 5, 1934. One morning,
when it was my duty to open the gate to let out our people who deliver baked
goods, I entered the little chapel to visit Jesus for a minute and to renew the
intentions of the day. Today, Jesus, I offer You all my sufferings,
mortifications and prayers for the intentions of the Holy Father, so that he
may approve the Feast of Mercy. But, Jesus, I have one more word to say to You:
I am very surprised that You bid me to talk about this Feast of Mercy, for they
tell me that there is already such a feast[81] and so why should I talk about it? And
Jesus said to me, And who knows anything about this feast? No one! Even
those who should be proclaiming My mercy and teaching people about it often do
not know about it themselves. That is why I want the image to be solemnly
blessed on the first Sunday after Easter, and I want it to be venerated publicly
so that every soul may know about it. Make a novena for the Holy Father's
intention. It should consist of thirty-three acts; that is, repetition that
many times of the short prayer-which I have taught you-to The Divine Mercy.
392 The Lord God grants His graces
in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He
will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept
it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in
deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The
reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during
prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If I
do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will be revealed in me.
Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without
ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the
Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loves with
all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in this
way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
396 My traveling companions were very kind; several women of
the Sodality of Mary were in the same compartment with me. I sensed that one of
them was suffering greatly and fighting a difficult battle in her soul. l began
to pray in spirit for this soul. At eleven o'clock these women went to another
compartment for a chat, leaving only the two of us behind in the carriage. I
could feel that my prayer was causing this soul's struggle to become even
fiercer. I did not console her, but prayed all the more fervently. Finally, the
lady turned to me and asked if she was obliged to fulfill a certain promise
which she had made to God. At that moment, I received inner knowledge of the
promise and replied, "You are absolutely obliged to keep it, or else you
will be miserable for the rest of your life. This thought will pursue you
everywhere and give you no peace." Surprised at my answer, she opened her
soul to me.
She was a schoolteacher. When she was about to take her examinations, she had promised God that if she did well in her examinations she would devote herself to His service; that is, enter a religious congregation. She passed the examinations very well. "But," she said, "when I entered into the hustle and bustle of the world, I no longer wanted to enter a convent. However, my conscience has given me no peace, and despite amusements I am always unhappy."
After a lengthy conversation, she was completely changed and told me that she would immediately take steps to enter a convent. She asked me to pray for her, and I felt that God would be generous with His grace.
She was a schoolteacher. When she was about to take her examinations, she had promised God that if she did well in her examinations she would devote herself to His service; that is, enter a religious congregation. She passed the examinations very well. "But," she said, "when I entered into the hustle and bustle of the world, I no longer wanted to enter a convent. However, my conscience has given me no peace, and despite amusements I am always unhappy."
After a lengthy conversation, she was completely changed and told me that she would immediately take steps to enter a convent. She asked me to pray for her, and I felt that God would be generous with His grace.
429 When I became aware
of God's great plans for me, I was frightened at their greatness and felt
myself quite incapable of fulfilling them, and I began to avoid interior
conversations with Him, filling up the time with vocal prayer. I did this out
of humility, but I soon recognized it was not true humility, but rather a great
temptation from the devil. When, on one occasion, instead of interior prayer, I
took up a book of spiritual reading, I heard these words spoken distinctly and
forcefully within my soul, You will prepare the world for My final coming.
These words moved me deeply, and although I pretended not to hear them, 1
understood them very well and had no doubt about them. Once, being tired out
from this battle of love with God, and making constant excuses on the grounds
that I was unable to carry out this task, I wanted to leave the chapel, but
some force held me back and I found myself powerless. Then I heard these words,
You intend to leave the chapel, but you shall not get away from Me, for I am
everywhere. You cannot do anything of yourself, but with me you can do all
things.
432 At that very moment, I felt some kind of fire in my
heart. I feel my senses deadening and have no idea of what is going on around
me. I feel the Lord's gaze piercing me through and through. I am very much
aware of His greatness and my misery. An extraordinary suffering pervades my
soul, together with a joy I cannot compare to anything. I feel powerless in the
embrace of God. I feel that I am in Him and that I am dissolved in Him like a
drop of water in the ocean. I cannot express what takes place within me; after
such interior prayer, I feel strength and power to practice the most difficult
virtues. I feel dislike for all things that the world holds in esteem. With all
my soul I desire silence and solitude.
438
June 30, 1935. At the very beginning of Holy Mass on the following day, I saw
Jesus in all His unspeakable beauty. He said to me that He desired that such
a Congregation be founded as soon as possible, and you shall live in it
together with your companions. My Spirit shall be the rule of your life.
Your life is to be modeled on Mine, from the crib to My death on the
Cross. Penetrate My mysteries, and you will know the abyss of My mercy
towards creatures and My unfathomable goodness-and this you shall make
known to the world. Through your prayers, you shall mediate between heaven
and earth.
476 The next morning, when I entered
chapel, I heard these words interiorly: Every time you enter the chapel,
immediately recite the prayer which I taught you yesterday. When I had said
the prayer, in my soul I heard these words: This prayer will serve to
appease My wrath. You will recite it for nine days, on the beads of the rosary,
in the following manner: First of all, you will say one OUR FATHER and HAIL
MARY and the I BELIEVE IN GOD. Then on the OUR FATHER beads you will say the
following words: "Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and
Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for
our sins and those of the whole world." On the HAIL MARY beads you will
say the following words: "For the sake of His sorrowful Passion have mercy
on us and on the whole world." In conclusion, three times you will recite
these words: "Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on
us and on the whole world." [100]
478 O my Jesus, You know, You alone
know well that m heart knows no other love but You! All my virginal love is
drowned eternally in You, O Jesus! I sense keenly ho Your divine Blood is
circulating in my heart; I have no the least doubt that Your most pure love has
entered m heart with Your most sacred Blood. I am aware did You are dwelling in
me, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, or ratherIam aware that it is
I who it living in You, O incomprehensible God! I am aware that I am dissolving
in You like a drop in an ocean. I am aware that You are within me and all about
me, that You are in all things that surround me, in all that happens to me. O
my God, I have come to know You within my heart, and I have loved You above all
things that exist on earth or in heaven. Our hearts have a mutual
understanding, and no one of humankind will comprehend this.
486 Jesus, when You come to me in
Holy Communion, You who together with the Father and the Holy Spirit have
deigned to dwell in the little heaven of my heart, I try to keep You company
throughout the day, I do not leave You alone for even a moment. Although I am
in the company of other people or with our wards, my heart is always united to
Him. When I am asleep I offer Him every beat of my heart; when I awaken I
immerse myself in Him without saying a word. When I awaken I adore the Holy
Trinity for a short while and thank God for having deigned to give me yet
another day, that the mystery of the incarnation of His Son may once more be
repeated in me, and that once again His sorrowful Passion may unfold before my
eyes. I then try to make it easier for Jesus to pass through me to other souls.
I go everywhere with Jesus; His presence accompanies me everywhere.
526 +
The 14th. This Thursday, when we were having nocturnal adoration, at first I
could not pray; a sort of dryness engulfed me. I could not meditate on Jesus'
sorrowful Passion. So I lay prostrate and offered the most sorrowful Passion of
the Lord Jesus to the heavenly Father in reparation for the sins of all the
world. When I got to my feet after this prayer and walked to my kneeler, I
suddenly saw Jesus next to it. The Lord Jesus appeared as He was during the
scourging. In His hands He was holding a white garment with which He clothed me
and a cord with which He girded me, and He covered me with a red cloak like the
one He was clothed with during His Passion and a veil of the same color, and He
said to me, This is how you and your companions are going to be clothed. My
life from birth to death on the Cross will be the rule for you. Fix your eyes
upon Me and live according to what you see. I desire that you penetrate into My
spirit more deeply and understand that I am meek and humble of heart.
531 November 24, 1935. Sunday, first day. I went at once
before the Blessed Sacrament and offered myself with Jesus, present in the Most
Holy Sacrament, to the Everlasting Father. Then I heard these words in my soul:
Your purpose and that of your companions is to unite yourselves with Me as
closely as possible; through love You will reconcile earth with heaven, you
will soften the just anger of God, and you will plead for mercy for the world.
I place in your care two pearls very precious to My Heart: these are the souls
of priests and religious. You will pray particularly for them; their power will
come from your diminishment. You will join prayers, fasts, mortifications,
labors and all sufferings to My prayer, fasting, mortification, labors and
sufferings and then they will have power before My Father.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-17-18, 32, 41, 55, 62, 91-92, 94-95)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-97-98, 102, 106-107, 111, 114-115)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-129, 132, 136, 139, 145-150, 268)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-274-275, 299-301, 309, 314, 320, 325)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-330, 341, 392, 429, 432, 438, 476, 478)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-486)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-526, 531)
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