Called to Be Servants
Feast of Saint James,
Apostle
Father Alex Yeung, LC
Matthew 20: 20-28
Then the mother of the
sons of Zebedee came to him with her sons, and kneeling before him, she asked a
favor of him. And he said to her, "What do you want?" She said to
him, "Declare that these two sons of mine will sit, one at your right hand
and one at your left, in your kingdom." But Jesus answered, "You do
not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to
drink?´´ They said to him, "We are able." He said to them, "You
will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left, this is
not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my
Father." When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers. But
Jesus called them to him and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles
lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be
so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant,
and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of
Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for
many."
Introductory Prayer: Lord Jesus, in spite of my many failures, I know You continue to
call me. Your Spirit continues to guide me. I trust in You, love You and praise
You for all Your gifts to me. Amen.
Petition: Lord Jesus, grant me a renewed sensitivity to
the deepest needs of others.
1. Called to Serve: In an era of Catholicism in which
catch-phrases such as “called to serve” have been overused to the point of
becoming clichés, we risk forgetting how central service is to the Christian
life. The minutes of our lives are consumed in an incessant cascade of
apparently important and urgent things to do. Doesn’t it happen, however, that
in the midst of all this we actually miss any number of opportunities to serve?
Called to serve, yes, but we miss the call! And our service gets sidelined. If
service to my brothers and sisters is not an ordinary element of my daily life
as a Christian, I can be sure that I have succumbed to self-deception or taken
a critically wrong turn somewhere.
2. A Continuation of
Christ: We are called to give
ourselves unreservedly to others as a continuation of Christ. “A continuation
of Christ”: now, wouldn’t that make a wonderful epitaph?! For truly, if our
Christian service is not a prolongation, an extension of Jesus’ love, if we are
not giving him to others, if those whom we serve are not discovering him in us,
then our service is simply not service. It might be philanthropy, it might be
empathy, but it falls short of genuine Christian service if those whom we serve
do not discover Christ in us. Like John the Baptist, we must become less so
that Jesus can become more in us, so that our brothers and sisters are not
cheated out of encountering that Christ whom they secretly long to discover in
each of us.
3. What Service Means:
Here it will be
helpful simply to examine ourselves on some of the essentials of Christian
service. Is my daily life characterized by a concern for the genuine good of
others and by a readiness to do all the good I can for my brothers and sisters?
Do I actually engage in daily acts of service, whether big or small? Do I
examine myself frequently on the sin of omission? Do I strive, in carrying on
the ordinary service required by my state in life, to do so with extraordinary
deliberateness and full, conscious self-giving?
Conversation with
Christ: Father, You call me to
serve, and I know that service also means suffering at times. If suffering is
to be a part of Your plan for me, give me the grace to collaborate with Christ Your
son in the salvation of souls by offering that suffering generously to You. I
ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Resolution: Out of love for Christ, present in the least
of my brothers and sisters, I will examine myself on what genuine Christian
service means to me in practice, and what place it usually has in my daily
life.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
2 When I look into the future, I am
frightened, But why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory.
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory.
4 O my Jesus, because of my trust in
You, I weave thousands of garlands, and I know That they will all blossom.
And I know that they will all blossom
When God's sun will shine on them.
+ O great and Divine Sacrament
That veils my God!
Jesus, be with me each moment,
And no fear will enter my heart.
And I know that they will all blossom
When God's sun will shine on them.
+ O great and Divine Sacrament
That veils my God!
Jesus, be with me each moment,
And no fear will enter my heart.
36 Once I was summoned to the
judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as
we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except
for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the
complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will
have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before
the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me, Who are you? I answered, "I am
Your servant, Lord." You are guilty of one day of fire in purgatory. I
wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus
stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory
or for a short while on earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory,
and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until
the end of the world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough;
you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long;
you will accomplish My will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will
help you to do this. Now, rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw
from it strength and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither
relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much
to suffer, but don't let this frighten you; I am with you.
41 On one occasion I saw a servant
of God in the immediate danger of committing a mortal sin. I started to beg God
to deign to send down upon me all the torments of hell and all the sufferings
He wished if only this priest would be set free and snatched from the occasion
of committing a sin. Jesus heard my prayer and, that very instant, I felt a
crown of thorns on my head. The thorns penetrated my head with great force right
into my brain. This lasted for three hours; the servant of God was set free
from this sin, and his soul was strengthened by a special grace of God.
47 In the evening, when I was in my
cell, I saw the Lord Jesus clothed in a white garment. One hand [was] raised in
the gesture of blessing, the other was touching the garment at the breast. From
beneath the garment, slightly drawn aside at the breast, there were emanating
two large rays, one red, the other pale. In silence I kept my gaze fixed on the
Lord; my soul was struck with awe, but also with great joy. After a while,
Jesus said to me, Paint an image according to the pattern you see, with the
signature: Jesus, I trust in You. I desire that this image be venerated, first
in your chapel, and [then] throughout the world.
48 I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish. I also promise victory over [its] enemies already here on earth, especially at the hour of death. I Myself will defend it as My own glory.
49 When I told this to my confessor,[29] I received this for a reply: "That refers to your soul." He told me, "Certainly, paint God's image in your soul." When I came out of the confessional, I again heard words such as these: My image already is in your soul. I desire that there be a Feast of Mercy. I want this image, which you will paint with a brush, to be solemnly blessed on the first Sunday after Easter; that Sunday is to be the Feast of Mercy.
50 + I desire that priests proclaim this great mercy of Mine towards souls of sinners. Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me. The flames of mercy are burning Me - clamoring to be spent; I want to pour them out upon these souls.
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].
48 I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish. I also promise victory over [its] enemies already here on earth, especially at the hour of death. I Myself will defend it as My own glory.
49 When I told this to my confessor,[29] I received this for a reply: "That refers to your soul." He told me, "Certainly, paint God's image in your soul." When I came out of the confessional, I again heard words such as these: My image already is in your soul. I desire that there be a Feast of Mercy. I want this image, which you will paint with a brush, to be solemnly blessed on the first Sunday after Easter; that Sunday is to be the Feast of Mercy.
50 + I desire that priests proclaim this great mercy of Mine towards souls of sinners. Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me. The flames of mercy are burning Me - clamoring to be spent; I want to pour them out upon these souls.
Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts].
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel
Given Me by Father Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not
turn away from these interior inspirations, but always tell everything to your
confessor. If you recognize that these interior inspirations refer to your own
self; that is to say, they are for the good of your soul or for the good of
other souls, l urge you to follow them; and you must not neglect them, but
always do so in consultation with your confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
69 +O Jesus, eternal Truth, strengthen my feeble forces; You
can do all things, Lord. I know that without You all my efforts are in vain. O
Jesus, do not hide from me, for I cannot live without You. Listen to the cry of
my soul. Your mercy has not been exhausted, Lord, so have pity on my misery.
Your mercy surpasses the understanding of all Angels and people put together;
and so, although it seems to me that You do not hear me, I put my trust in the
ocean of Your mercy, and I know that my hope will not be deceived.
O Divine Sun, in Your rays the soul
sees the tiniest specks of dust which displease You.
72 O Jesus, eternal Truth, our Life, I call upon You and I beg Your mercy for poor sinners. O sweetest Heart of my Lord, full of pity and unfathomable mercy, I plead with You for poor sinners. O Most Sacred Heart, Fount of Mercy from which gush forth rays of inconceivable graces upon the entire human race, I beg of You light for poor sinners. O Jesus, be mindful of Your own bitter Passion and do not permit the loss of souls redeemed at so dear a price of Your most precious Blood. O Jesus, when I consider the great price of Your Blood, I rejoice at its immensity, for one drop alone would have been enough for the salvation of all sinners. Although sin is an abyss of wickedness and ingratitude, the price paid for us can never be equalled. Therefore, let every soul trust in the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone. Heaven and earth may change, but God's mercy will never be exhausted. Oh, what immense joy burns in my heart when I contemplate Your incomprehensible goodness, O Jesus! I desire to bring all sinners to Your feet that they may glorify Your mercy throughout endless ages.
73 O my Jesus, despite the deep night that is all around me and the dark clouds which hide the horizon, I know that the sun never goes out. O Lord, though I cannot comprehend You and do not understand Your ways, I nonetheless trust in Your mercy. If it is Your will, Lord, that I live always in such darkness, may You be blessed. I ask You only one thing, Jesus: do not allow me to offend You in any way. O my Jesus, You alone know the longings and the sufferings of my heart. I am glad I can suffer for You, however little. When I feel that the suffering is more than I can bear, I take refuge in the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, and I speak to Him with profound silence.
72 O Jesus, eternal Truth, our Life, I call upon You and I beg Your mercy for poor sinners. O sweetest Heart of my Lord, full of pity and unfathomable mercy, I plead with You for poor sinners. O Most Sacred Heart, Fount of Mercy from which gush forth rays of inconceivable graces upon the entire human race, I beg of You light for poor sinners. O Jesus, be mindful of Your own bitter Passion and do not permit the loss of souls redeemed at so dear a price of Your most precious Blood. O Jesus, when I consider the great price of Your Blood, I rejoice at its immensity, for one drop alone would have been enough for the salvation of all sinners. Although sin is an abyss of wickedness and ingratitude, the price paid for us can never be equalled. Therefore, let every soul trust in the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone. Heaven and earth may change, but God's mercy will never be exhausted. Oh, what immense joy burns in my heart when I contemplate Your incomprehensible goodness, O Jesus! I desire to bring all sinners to Your feet that they may glorify Your mercy throughout endless ages.
73 O my Jesus, despite the deep night that is all around me and the dark clouds which hide the horizon, I know that the sun never goes out. O Lord, though I cannot comprehend You and do not understand Your ways, I nonetheless trust in Your mercy. If it is Your will, Lord, that I live always in such darkness, may You be blessed. I ask You only one thing, Jesus: do not allow me to offend You in any way. O my Jesus, You alone know the longings and the sufferings of my heart. I am glad I can suffer for You, however little. When I feel that the suffering is more than I can bear, I take refuge in the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, and I speak to Him with profound silence.
Darkness and Temptations
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read.
The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all.
One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
77 My mind became dimmed in a strange way; no truth seemed clear to me. When people spoke to me about God, my heart was like a rock. I could not draw from it a single sentiment of love for Him. When I tried, by an act of the will, to remain close to Him, I experienced great torments, and it seemed to me that I was only provoking God to an even greater anger. It was absolutely impossible for me to meditate as I had been accustomed to do in the past. I felt in my soul a great void, and there was nothing with which I could fill it. I began to suffer from a great hunger and yearning for God, but I saw my utter powerlessness. I tried to read slowly, sentence by sentence, and to meditate in this way, but this also was of no avail. I understood nothing of what I had read.
The abyss of my misery was constantly before my eyes. Every time I entered the chapel for some spiritual exercise, I experienced even worse torments and temptations. More than once, all through Holy Mass, I had to struggle against blasphemous thoughts which were forcing themselves to my lips. I felt an aversion for the Holy Sacraments, and it seemed to me that I was not profiting from them in any way. It was only out of obedience to my confessor that I frequented them, and this blind obedience was for me the only path I could follow and my very last hope of survival. The priest explained to me that these were trials sent by God and that, in the situation I was in, not only was I not offending God, but I was most pleasing to Him. "This is a sign," he told me, "that God loves you very much and that He has great confidence in you, since He is sending you such trials." But these words brought me no comfort; it seemed to me that they did not apply to me at all.
One thing did surprise me: it often happened that, at the time when I was suffering greatly, these terrible torments would disappear suddenly just as I was approaching the confessional; but as soon as I had left the confessional, all these torments would again seize me with even greater ferocity. I would then fall on my face before the Blessed Sacrament repeating these words: "Even if You kill me, still will I trust in You!" [cf. Job 13:15] It seemed to me that I would die in these agonies. But the most terrible thought for me was the conviction that I had been rejected by God. Then other thoughts came to me: why strive to acquire virtues and do good works? why mortify and annihilate yourself? what good is it to take vows? to pray? to sacrifice and immolate yourself? why sacrifice myself all the time? what good is it - if I am already rejected by God? why all these efforts? And here, God alone knew what was going on in my heart.
78 Once when I was being crushed by
these dreadful sufferings, I went into the chapel and said from the bottom of
my soul, "Do what You will with me, O Jesus; I will adore You in
everything. May Your will be done in me, O my Lord and my God, and I will
praise Your infinite mercy." Through this act of submission, these
terrible torments left me. Suddenly I saw Jesus, who said to me, I am always
in your heart. An inconceivable joy entered my soul, and a great love of
God set my heart aflame. I see that God never tries us beyond what we are able
to suffer. Oh, I fear nothing; if God sends such great suffering to a soul, He
upholds it with an even greater grace, although we are not aware of it. One act
of trust at such moments gives greater glory to God than whole hours passed in
prayer filled with consolations. Now I see that if God wants to keep a soul in
darkness, no book, no confessor can bring it light.
83 Write this: before I come as
the just Judge, I am coming first as the King of Mercy. Before the day of
justice arrives, there will be given to people a sign in the heavens of this
sort: All light in the heavens will be extinguished, and there will be great
darkness over the whole earth. Then the sign of the cross will be seen in the
sky, and from the openings where the hands and the feet of the Savior were
nailed will come forth great lights which will light up the earth for a period
of time. This will take place shortly before the last day.
84 O Blood and Water, which gushed
forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us, I trust in You!
92 Humiliation is my daily food. I
understand that the bride must herself share in everything that is the groom's;
and so His cloak of mockery must cover me, too. At those times when I suffer
much, I try to remain silent, as I do not trust my tongue which, at such
moments, is inclined to talk for itself, while its duty is to help me praise
God for all the blessings and gifts which He has given me. When I receive Jesus
in Holy Communion, I ask Him fervently to deign to heal my tongue so that I
would offend neither God nor neighbor by it. I want my tongue to praise God
without cease. Great are the faults committed by the tongue. The soul will not
attain sanctity if it does not keep watch over its tongue.
134 + O my Jesus, You have tested me
so many times in this short life of mine! I have come to understand so many
things, and even such that now amaze me. Oh, how good it is to abandon oneself
totally to God and to give Him full freedom to act in one's soul!
139 Still, a soul which is faithful
to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it must submit them to the control
of a very wise and learned priest; and until it is quite certain, it should remain
distrustful. It should not, on its own initiative alone, put its trust in these
inspirations and all other higher graces, because it can thus expose itself to
great losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
148 +A noble and delicate soul, even
the most simple, but one of delicate sensibilities, sees God in everything,
finds Him everywhere, and knows how to find Him in even the most hidden things.
It finds all things important, it highly appreciates all things, it thanks God
for all things, it draws profit for the soul from all things, and it gives all
glory to God. It places its trust in God and is not confused when the time of
ordeals comes. It knows that God is always the best of Fathers and makes little
of human opinion. It follows faithfully the faintest breath of the Holy Spirit;
it rejoices in this Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a child to its
mother. Where other souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul passes on
without fear or difficulty.
+O Jesus, hidden in the Blessed
Sacrament,
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
228 You see that in pronouncing my perpetual vows I am leaving the novitiate[68] today. Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day. Daily I will attend lectures at Your feet. I will not do the least thing by myself, without consulting You first as my Master. Jesus, how happy I am that You yourself have drawn me and taken me into Your novitiate; that is to say, into the tabernacle. In making my perpetual vows, I have by no means become a perfect nun. No, no! I am still a weak little novice of Jesus, and I must strive to acquire perfection as I did in the first days of the novitiate, and I will make every effort to keep the same disposition of soul which I had on that first day the convent gate opened to admit me.
With the trust and simplicity of a small child, I give myself to You today, O Lord Jesus, my Master. I leave You complete freedom in directing my soul. Guide me along the paths You wish. I won't question them. I will follow You trustingly. Your merciful Heart can do all things!
The little novice of Jesus-Sister
Faustina.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
229 +At the beginning of the retreat, Jesus told me, During this retreat, I myself will direct your soul. I want to confirm you in peace and love. And so the first few days passed by. On the fourth day, doubts began to trouble me: Is not this tranquillity of mine false? Then I heard these words, My daughter, imagine that you are the sovereign of all the world and have the power to dispose of all things according to your good pleasure. You have the power to do all the good you want, and suddenly a little child knocks on your door, all trembling and in tears and, trusting in your kindness, asks for a piece of bread lest he die of starvation. What would you do for this child? Answer Me, my daughter. And I said, "Jesus, I would give the child all it asked and a thousand times more. "And the Lord said to me, That is how I am treating your soul. In this retreat I am giving you, not only peace, but also such a disposition of soul that even if you wanted to experience uneasiness you could not do so. My love has taken possession of your soul, and I want you to be confirmed in it. Bring your ear close to My Heart, forget everything else, and meditate upon My wondrous mercy. My love will give you the strength and courage you need in these matters.
230 Jesus, living Host, You are my
Mother, You are my all! It is with simplicity and love, with faith and trust
that I will always come to You, O Jesus! I will share everything with You, as a
child with its loving mother, my joys and sorrows-in a word, everything.
244 Now a gray, ordinary day has
begun. The solemn hours of the perpetual vows have passed, but God's great
grace has remained in my soul. I feel I am all God's; I feel I am His child, I
feel I am wholly God's property. I experience this in a way that can be
physically sensed. I am completely at peace about everything, because I know it
is the Spouse's business to look after me. I have forgotten about myself
completely. My trust placed in His Most Merciful Heart has no limit. I am
continuously united with Him. It seems to me as though Jesus could not be happy
without me, nor could I without Him. Although I understand that, being God, He
is happy in himself and has absolutely no need of any creature, still, His
goodness compels Him to give himself to the creature, and with a generosity
which is beyond understanding.
275 Jesus loves hidden souls. A
hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my
soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus. In difficult and painful moments,
O my Creator, I sing You a hymn of trust, for bottomless is the abyss of my
trust in You and in Your mercy!
300 +Ask of my faithful servant
[Father Sopocko] that, on this day, he tell the whole world of My great mercy;
that whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted complete
remission of sins and punishment.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
+Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.
+Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul's distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness.
My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy.
301 Proclaim that mercy is the
greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy.
1154 [June] 27. Today, I saw the convent of the new
Congregation. It was a large and spacious building. I went from room to room,
observing everything. I saw that God's Providence had provided for all that was
necessary. The persons living in this convent were still wearing lay clothes,
but a thoroughly religious spirit reigned there, and I was organizing
everything just as the Lord wanted. All of a sudden, I heard a rebuke from one
of our sisters, "Sister, how can you carry out such works?" I answered
that it was not I, but the Lord working through me, and that I had the
authorization for everything. During Mass, I received light and profound
understanding concerning this whole work, and not a shadow of a doubt remained
in my soul.
1182+ Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure
and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your misery does
not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul,
the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the
unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all. On the cross,
the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls-no one have
I excluded!
1195 O my Jesus, nothing can lower my ideals; that is, the
love which I have for You. Although the path is very thorny, I do not fear to
go ahead. Even if a hailstorm of persecutions covers me; even if my friends
forsake me, even if all things conspire against me, and the horizon grows dark;
even if a raging storm breaks out, and I feel I am quite alone and must brave
it all; still, fully at peace, I will trust in Your mercy, O my God, and my
hope will not be disappointed.
1234 All for You, Jesus. I desire to adore Your mercy with
every beat of my heart and, to the extent that I am able, to encourage souls to
trust in that mercy, as You yourself have commanded me, O Lord.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-2, 4, 36, 41, 47-50,55, 69, 72-73, 77-78)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-83-84,92,134, 139, 148, 228-230)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-I-244, 275, 300, 301)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-III-1154, 1182, 1195)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska
Notebook-V-1234)
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