Intimate Friendship with the Lord
May 13, 2012 Sixth
Sunday of Easter
Father John Doyle, LC
John 15:9-17
Jesus said to his
disciples: "As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my
Father´s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my
joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is my commandment: love
one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one´s
life for one´s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no
longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing.
I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from
my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you
to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in
my name he may give you. This I command you: love one another."
Introductory
Prayer: Lord, as I begin
this prayer I offer You my whole self: my thoughts, desires, decisions,
actions, hopes, fears, weaknesses, failures and petty successes. I open my
entire being to You, aware that You know everything already. I’m certain of Your
mercy and of the purifying power of Your penetrating, loving gaze.
Petition: Jesus, let me fulfill your command
of charity.
1. The Depths of Jesus’
Love: Jesus makes a
startling comparison: He likens his love for his disciples with the immense
love his Father has for him. Before even the world came to be, the Father and
the Son were immersed in boundless, mutual love. The Holy Spirit is this bond
of love. The intimacy of the union and self-giving of the Blessed Trinity
surpasses any human comparison, and yet Our Lord tells his disciples he loves
them in a like manner. Do I realize how deeply my Savior loves me? Does the
truth of Christ’s personal love for me, proven from the height of the cross,
fill me with awe and find an ever more generous response in my spiritual
life?
2. Demands of
Friendship: The
circumstances and timing surrounding Jesus’ designation of his disciples as
friends reiterates the authenticity of the title. Jesus is just a few hours
away from being abandoned and betrayed by those he now calls friends. Still,
Our Lord is so moved by love that he looks beyond his followers’ betrayal, to
the victory he is about to win for them. Jesus also offers me his friendship.
He invites me to “remain in his love.” I am not called to be a spectator, but
to discover the joy found in accompanying him. To follow the “Crucified One”
will always be demanding, but his friendship is a treasure which far surpasses
the weight of the cross.
3. Badge of Love: The mutual love of the Father and
the Son, which Jesus gratuitously extends to us as his friends, should bear
fruit in charity. The first Christians took very seriously Christ’s command of
charity. It was their distinctive mark. It set them apart from the peoples
among whom they lived. It was the magnetic force that attracted so many to join
their ranks. The command to love each other is the logical result of our
personal worth as people loved by the Lord. If Jesus loves my brother or sister
so much that he gave his life for him or her, can there be any excuse for me
not to show respect and deference on their behalf? Charity is the badge of
every true Christian. How can I better live Christ’s commandment of love,
starting within my own family?
Conversation with
Christ: Jesus, I pray
that I will never cease to be astonished by the depths of Your personal love
for me. You call me Your friend even though I have not always lived up to the
demands of this calling. I want to be a better and truer friend of Yours.
Resolution: I will show a simple act of
kindness to a member of my family today.
Excerpts from the DIARY of
Saint Faustina Kowalska
57 O my Jesus, You are
the life of my life. You know only too well that I long for nothing but the
glory of Your Name and that souls come to know Your goodness. Why do souls
avoid You, Jesus?-I don't understand that. Oh, if I could only cut my heart
into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You, O Jesus, each piece as a heart
whole and entire, to make up in part for the hearts that do not love You! I
love You, Jesus, with every drop of my blood, and I would gladly shed my blood
for You to give You a proof of the sincerity of my love. O God, the more I know
You the less I can comprehend You, but this "non-comprehension" lets
me realize how great You are! And it is this impossibility of comprehending You
which enflames my heart anew for You, O Lord. From the moment when You let me
fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus, I have been at peace and desired
nothing else. I found my destiny at the moment when my soul lost itself in You,
the only object of my love. In comparison with you, everything is nothing.
Sufferings, adversities, humiliations, failures and suspicions that have come
my way are splinters that keep alive the fire of my love for You, O Jesus.
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
58 +One night, a sister who had died two months previously came to me. She was a sister of the first choir. I saw her in a terrible condition, all in flames with her face painfully distorted. This lasted only a short time, and then she disappeared. A shudder went through my soul because I did not know whether she was suffering in purgatory or in hell. Nevertheless I redoubled my prayers for her. The next night she came again, but I saw her in an even more horrible state, in the midst of flames which were even more intense, and despair was written all over her face. I was astonished to see her in a worse condition after the prayers I had offered for her, and I asked, "Haven't my prayers helped you?" She answered that my prayers had not helped her and that nothing would help her. I said to her, "And the prayers which been any help to you?" She said no, that these prayers had helped some other souls. I replied, "If my prayers are not helping you, Sister, please stop coming to me." She disappeared at once. Despite this, I kept on praying.
After some time she came back again to me during the night, but already her appearance had changed. There were no longer any flames, as there had been before, and her face was radiant, her eyes beaming with joy. She told me that I had a true love for my neighbor and that many other souls had profited from my prayers. She urged me not to cease praying for the souls in purgatory, and she added that she herself would not remain there much longer. How astounding are the decrees of God!
My desires are mad and unattainable. I wish to conceal from You that I suffer. I want never to be rewarded for my efforts and my good actions. You yourself, Jesus, are my only reward; You are enough, O Treasure of my heart! I want to share compassionately in the sufferings of my neighbors and to conceal my own sufferings, not only from them, but also from You, Jesus.
Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Savior; in suffering love becomes crystallized; the greater the suffering, the purer the love.
58 +One night, a sister who had died two months previously came to me. She was a sister of the first choir. I saw her in a terrible condition, all in flames with her face painfully distorted. This lasted only a short time, and then she disappeared. A shudder went through my soul because I did not know whether she was suffering in purgatory or in hell. Nevertheless I redoubled my prayers for her. The next night she came again, but I saw her in an even more horrible state, in the midst of flames which were even more intense, and despair was written all over her face. I was astonished to see her in a worse condition after the prayers I had offered for her, and I asked, "Haven't my prayers helped you?" She answered that my prayers had not helped her and that nothing would help her. I said to her, "And the prayers which been any help to you?" She said no, that these prayers had helped some other souls. I replied, "If my prayers are not helping you, Sister, please stop coming to me." She disappeared at once. Despite this, I kept on praying.
After some time she came back again to me during the night, but already her appearance had changed. There were no longer any flames, as there had been before, and her face was radiant, her eyes beaming with joy. She told me that I had a true love for my neighbor and that many other souls had profited from my prayers. She urged me not to cease praying for the souls in purgatory, and she added that she herself would not remain there much longer. How astounding are the decrees of God!
Special Resolutions of the
Retreat, May 1, 1933
241 Love of neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice in the success of others.
241 Love of neighbor. First: Helpfulness towards the sisters. Second: Do not speak about those who are absent, and defend the good name of my neighbor. Third: Rejoice in the success of others.
245 My Jesus, I will now strive
to give honor and glory to Your Name, doing battle till the day on which You
yourself will say, enough! Every soul You have entrusted to me, Jesus, I will
try to aid with prayer and sacrifice, so that Your grace can work in them. O
great lover of souls, my Jesus, I thank You for this immense confidence with
which You have deigned to place souls in our care. O you days of work and of
monotony, you are not monotonous to me at all, for each moment brings me new
graces and opportunity to do good.
253 +I must never judge anyone, but look at
others with leniency and at myself with severity. I must refer everything to
God and, in my own eyes, recognize myself for what I am: utter misery and nothingness.
In suffering, I must be patient and quiet, knowing that everything passes in
time.
254 +The moments I lived through
when I was taking my perpetual vows are better left unsaid.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger, God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
I am in Him, and He in me. As the Bishop [Rospond] was putting the ring on my finger, God pervaded my whole being, and since I cannot express that moment, I will be silent about it. My relationship with God, since perpetual vows, has been more intimate than it had ever been before. I sense that I love God and that He loves me. Having once tasted God, my soul could not live without Him. One hour spent at the foot of the altar in the greatest dryness of spirit is dearer to me than a hundred years of worldly pleasures. I prefer to be a lowly drudge in the convent than a queen in the world.
267 Jesus told me that I please
Him best by meditating on His sorrowful Passion, and by such meditation much
light falls upon my soul. He who wants to learn true humility should reflect
upon the Passion of Jesus. When I meditate upon the Passion of Jesus, I get a
clear understanding of many things I could not comprehend before. I want to
resemble You, O Jesus,-You crucified, tortured and humiliated. Jesus, imprint
upon my heart and soul Your own humility. I love You, Jesus, to the point of
madness, You who were crushed with suffering as described by the prophet [cf.
Isaiah 53:2-9], as if he could not see the human form in You because of Your
great suffering. It is in this condition, Jesus, that I love You to the point
of madness. O eternal and infinite God, what has love done to You?...
268 October 11,
1933.-Thursday.-I tried to make a Holy Hour, but began it with great
difficulty. A certain yearning started to tear at my heart. My mind was dimmed
so that I could not understand the simplest forms of prayer. And so passed by
an hour of prayer, or rather of struggle. I resolved to pray for a second hour,
but my inner sufferings increased-great dryness and discouragement. I resolved
to pray for a third hour. In the third hour, which I resolved to spend kneeling
without any support, my body started to clamor for rest. But I in no way
relented. I stretched out my arms and, though I spoke no words, I persisted by
sheer will. After a while, I took the ring off my finger and asked Jesus to look
at the ring, that sign of our eternal union, and I offered Jesus the feelings I
had had on the day of perpetual vows. After a while, I feel my heart inundated
with a wave of love. A sudden recollection of spirit, the senses quiet down,
and God's presence pervades my soul. I know only this: that it is Jesus and I.
I saw Him just as He had appeared to me in that instant after my perpetual
vows, when I was likewise making a Holy Hour. Jesus was suddenly standing
before me, stripped of His clothes, His body completely covered with wounds,
His eyes flooded with tears and blood, His face disfigured and covered with
spittle. The Lord then said to me, The bride must resemble her Betrothed. I
understood these words to their very depth. There is no room for doubt here. My
likeness to Jesus must be through suffering and humility. See what love of
human souls has done to Me. My daughter, in your heart I find everything that
so great a number of souls refuses Me. Your heart is My repose. I often wait
with great graces until towards the end of prayer.
276 From the moment I came to
love suffering, it ceased to be a suffering for me. Suffering is the daily food
of my soul.
277 I will not speak with a
certain person, because I know that Jesus does not like it and that she does
not profit by it.
278 At the feet of the Lord.
Hidden Jesus, Eternal Love, our Source of Life, Divine Madman, in that You
forget yourself and see only us. Before creating heaven and earth, You carried
us in the depths of Your Heart. O Love, O depth of Your abasement, O mystery of
happiness, why do so few people know You? Why is Your love not returned? O
Divine Love, why do You hide Your beauty? O Infinite One beyond all
understanding, the more I know You the less I comprehend You; but because I cannot
comprehend You, I better comprehend Your greatness. I do not envy the Seraphim
their fire, for I have a greater gift deposited in my heart. They admire You in
rapture, but Your Blood mingles with mine. Love is heaven given us already here
on earth. Oh, why do You hide in faith? Love tears away the veil. There is no
veil before the eye of my soul, for You yourself have drawn me into the bosom
of secret love forever. Praise and glory be to You, O Indivisible Trinity, One
God, unto ages of ages!
279 God made known to me what
true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give
proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God's will. To
show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from
our love of God. And the Lord said to me, My child, you please Me most by
suffering. In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do
not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your suffering to be
pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures,
but also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your
heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come
to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
281 I feel certain that my
mission will not come to an end upon my death, but will begin. O doubting
souls, I will draw aside for you the veils of heaven to convince you of God's
goodness, so that you will no longer continue to wound with your distrust the
sweetest Heart of Jesus. God is Love and Mercy.
282 Once the Lord said to me, My
Heart was moved by great mercy towards you, My dearest child, when I saw you
torn to shreds because of the great pain you suffered in repenting for your
sins. I see your love, so pure and true that I give you first place among the
virgins. You are the honor and glory of My Passion. I see every abasement of
your soul, and nothing escapes my attention. I lift up the humble even to my
very throne, because I want it so.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
God, One in the Holy Trinity.
283 I want to love You as no human soul has ever loved You before; and although I am utterly miserable and small, I have nevertheless cast the anchor of my trust deep down into the abyss of Your mercy, O my God and Creator! In spite of my great misery I fear nothing, but hope to sing You a hymn of glory for ever. Let no soul, even the most miserable, fall prey to doubt; for, as long as one is alive, each one can become a great saint, so great is the power of God's grace. It remains only for us not to oppose God's action.
285 1934. Once, when I returned
to my cell, I was so tired that I had to rest a moment before I started to
undress, and when I was already undressed, one of the sisters asked me to fetch
her some hot water. Although I was tired, I dressed quickly and brought her the
water she wanted, even though it was quite a long walk from the cell to the
kitchen, and the mud was ankle-deep. When I re-entered my cell, I saw the
ciborium with the Blessed Sacrament, and I heard this voice, Take this
ciborium and bring it to the tabernacle. I hesitated at first, but when I
approached and touched it, I heard these words, Approach each of the sisters
with the same love with which you approach Me; and whatever you do for them,
you do it for Me. A moment later, I saw that I was alone.
288 +Once when I was having a
long talk with Jesus about our students, encouraged by His kindness, I asked
Him, "Do You have among our students any who are a comfort to Your Heart?"
The Lord answered [that] He has, but their love is weak, and so I put them
in your special care-pray for them.
O great God, I admire Your goodness! You are the Lord of heavenly hosts, and yet You stoop so low to Your miserable creatures. Oh, how ardently I desire to love You with every beat of my heart! The whole extent of the earth is not enough for me, heaven is too small, and boundless space is nothing; You alone are enough for me, Eternal God! You alone can fill the depths of my soul.
O great God, I admire Your goodness! You are the Lord of heavenly hosts, and yet You stoop so low to Your miserable creatures. Oh, how ardently I desire to love You with every beat of my heart! The whole extent of the earth is not enough for me, heaven is too small, and boundless space is nothing; You alone are enough for me, Eternal God! You alone can fill the depths of my soul.
289 My happiest moments are when
I am alone with my Lord. During these moments I experience the greatness of God
and my own misery.
Once, Jesus said to me, Do not be surprised that you are sometimes unjustly accused. I myself first drank this cup of undeserved suffering for love of you.
Once, Jesus said to me, Do not be surprised that you are sometimes unjustly accused. I myself first drank this cup of undeserved suffering for love of you.
293 +When Jesus ravished me by
His beauty and drew me to Himself, I then saw what in my soul was displeasing
to Him and made up my mind to remove it, cost what it may; and aided by the
grace of God I did remove it at once. This magnanimity pleased the Lord, and
from that moment God started granting me higher graces. In my interior life I
never reason; I do not analyze the ways in which God's Spirit leads me. It is
enough for me to know that I am loved and that I love. Pure love enables me to
know God and understand many mysteries. My confessor is an oracle for me. His
word is sacred to me-I am speaking about the spiritual director [Father
Sopocko].
294 +Once the Lord said to me,
Act like a beggar who does not back away when he gets more alms [than he asked
for], but offers thanks the more fervently. You too should not back away and
say that you are not worthy of receiving greater graces when I give them to
you. I know you are unworthy, but rejoice all the more and take as many
treasures from My Heart as you can carry, for then you will please Me more. And
I will tell you one more thing: Take these graces not only for yourself, but
also for others; that is, encourage the souls with whom you come in contact to
trust in My infinite mercy. Oh, how I love those souls who have complete
confidence in Me. I will do everything for them.
296 +O Supreme Good, I want to
love You as no one on earth has ever loved You before! I want to adore You with
every moment of my life and unite my will closely to Your holy will. My life is
not drab or monotonous, but it is varied like a garden of fragrant flowers, so
that I don't know which flower to pick first, the lily of suffering or the rose
of love of neighbor or the violet of humility. I will not enumerate these
treasures in which my every day abounds. It is a great thing to know how to
make use of the present moment.
302 +O Eternal Love, I want all
the souls You have created to come to know You. I would like to be a priest,
for then I would speak without cease about Your mercy to sinful souls drowned
in despair. I would like to be a missionary and carry the light of faith to
savage nations in order to make You known to souls, and to be completely
consumed for them and to die a martyr's death, just as You died for them and
for me. O Jesus, I know only too well that I can be a priest, a missionary, a
preacher, and that I can die a martyr's death by completely emptying myself and
denying myself for love of You, O Jesus, and of immortal souls.
303 Great love can change small
things into great ones, and it is only love which lends value to our actions.
And the purer our love becomes, the less there will be within us for the flames
of suffering to feed upon, and the suffering will cease to be a suffering for
us; it will become a delight! By the grace of God, I have received such a
disposition of heart that I am never so happy as when I suffer for Jesus, whom
I love with every beat of my heart.
Once when I was suffering greatly, I left my work and escaped to Jesus and asked Him to give me His strength. After a very short prayer I returned to my work filled with enthusiasm and joy. Then, one of the sisters [probably Sister Justine] said to me, "You must have many consolations today, Sister; you look so radiant. Surely, God is giving you no suffering, but only consolations." "You are greatly mistaken, Sister," I answered, "for it is precisely when I suffer much that my joy is greater; and when I suffer less, my joy also is less." However, that soul was letting me recognize that she does not understand what I was saying. I tried to explain to her that when we suffer much we have a great chance to show God that we love Him; but when we suffer little we have less occasion to show God our love; and when we do not suffer at all, our love is then neither great nor pure. By the grace of God, we can attain a point where suffering will become a delight to us, for love can work such things in pure souls.
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus!
305 It is my greatest desire that souls should recognize You as their eternal happiness, that they should come to believe in Your goodness and glorify Your infinite mercy.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
Once when I was suffering greatly, I left my work and escaped to Jesus and asked Him to give me His strength. After a very short prayer I returned to my work filled with enthusiasm and joy. Then, one of the sisters [probably Sister Justine] said to me, "You must have many consolations today, Sister; you look so radiant. Surely, God is giving you no suffering, but only consolations." "You are greatly mistaken, Sister," I answered, "for it is precisely when I suffer much that my joy is greater; and when I suffer less, my joy also is less." However, that soul was letting me recognize that she does not understand what I was saying. I tried to explain to her that when we suffer much we have a great chance to show God that we love Him; but when we suffer little we have less occasion to show God our love; and when we do not suffer at all, our love is then neither great nor pure. By the grace of God, we can attain a point where suffering will become a delight to us, for love can work such things in pure souls.
304 +O my Jesus, my only hope, thank You for the book which You have opened before my soul's eyes. That book is Your Passion which You underwent for love of me. It is from this book that I have learned how to love God and souls. In this book there are found for us inexhaustible treasures. O Jesus, how few souls understand You in Your martyrdom of love! Oh, how great is the fire of purest love which burns in Your Most Sacred Heart! Happy the soul that has come to understand the love of the Heart of Jesus!
305 It is my greatest desire that souls should recognize You as their eternal happiness, that they should come to believe in Your goodness and glorify Your infinite mercy.
306 I asked the Lord to grant me the grace that my nature be immune and resist the influences that sometimes try to draw me away from the spirit of our rule and from the minor regulations. These minor transgressions are like little moths that try to destroy the spiritual life within us, and they surely will destroy it if the soul is aware of these minor transgressions and yet disregards them as small things. I can see nothing that is small in the religious life. Little matter if I am sometimes the object of vexation and jeers, as long as my spirit remains in harmony with the spirit of the rules, the vows and the religious statutes.
O my Jesus, delight of my heart, You know my desires. I should like to hide from people's sight so as to be like one alive and yet not living. I want to live pure as a wild flower; I want my love always to be turned to You, just as a flower that is always turning to the sun. I want the fragrance and the freshness of the flower of my heart to be always preserved for You alone. I want to live beneath Your divine gaze, for You alone are enough for me. When I am with You, Jesus, I fear nothing, for nothing can do me harm.
343 True love is measured by the
thermometer of suffering. Jesus, I thank You for the little daily crosses, for
opposition to my endeavors, for the hardships of communal life, for the misinterpretation
of my intentions, for humiliations at the hands of others, for the harsh way in
which we are treated, for false suspicions, for poor health and loss of
strength, for self-denial, for dying to myself, for lack of recognition in
everything, for the upsetting of all my plans.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
Thank You, Jesus, for interior sufferings, for dryness of spirit, for terrors, fears and incertitudes, for the darkness and the deep interior night, for temptations and various ordeals, for torments too difficult to describe, especially for those which no one will understand, for the hour of death with its fierce struggle and all its bitterness.
I thank You, Jesus, You who first drank the cup of bitterness before You gave it to me, in a much milder form. I put my lips to this cup of Your holy will. Let all be done according to Your good pleasure; let that which Your wisdom ordained before the ages be done to me. I want to drink the cup to its last drop, and not seek to know the reason why. In bitterness is my joy, in hopelessness is my trust. In You, O Lord, all is good, all is a gift of Your paternal Heart. I do not prefer consolations over bitterness or bitterness over consolations, but thank You, O Jesus, for everything! It is my delight to fix my gaze upon You, O incomprehensible God! My spirit abides in these mysterious dwelling places, and there I am at home. I know very well the dwelling place of my Spouse. I feel there is not a single drop of blood in me that does not burn with love for You.
O Uncreated Beauty, whoever comes to know You once cannot love anything else. I can feel the bottomless abyss of my soul, and nothing will fill it but God himself. I feel that I am drowned in Him like a single grain of sand in a bottomless ocean.
367 +On one occasion, Jesus gave
me to know that when I pray for intentions which people are wont to entrust to
me, He is always ready to grant His graces, but souls do not always want to
accept them: My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially
for poor sinners. If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers
to them and that it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart
as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as
King of Mercy. I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to
accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these
graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh,
how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My
Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the
world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for
graces.
So I turn to you, you-chosen souls, will you also fail to understand the love of My Heart? Here, too, My Heart finds disappointment; I do not find complete surrender to My love. So many reservations, so much distrust, so much caution. To comfort you, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell In their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to Angels and men. Their number is very small. They are a defense for the world before the justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence. The infidelity of a soul specially chosen by Me wounds My Heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.
So I turn to you, you-chosen souls, will you also fail to understand the love of My Heart? Here, too, My Heart finds disappointment; I do not find complete surrender to My love. So many reservations, so much distrust, so much caution. To comfort you, let Me tell you that there are souls living in the world who love Me dearly. I dwell In their hearts with delight. But they are few. In convents too, there are souls that fill My Heart with joy. They bear My features; therefore the Heavenly Father looks upon them with special pleasure. They will be a marvel to Angels and men. Their number is very small. They are a defense for the world before the justice of the Heavenly Father and a means of obtaining mercy for the world. The love and sacrifice of these souls sustain the world in existence. The infidelity of a soul specially chosen by Me wounds My Heart most painfully. Such infidelities are swords which pierce My Heart.
371 Jesus, King of Mercy, again
the time has come when I am alone with You. Therefore I beg You, by all the
love with which Your Heart burns, to destroy completely within me my self-love
and, on the other hand, to enkindle in my heart the fire of Your purest love.
372 In the evening, after the
conference, I heard these words: I am with you. During this retreat, I will
strengthen you in peace and in courage so that your strength will not fail in
carrying out My designs. Therefore you will cancel out your will absolutely in
this retreat and, instead, My complete will shall be accomplished in you. Know
that it will cost you much, so write these words on a clean sheet of paper: "From
today on, my own will does not exist," and then cross out the page. And on
the other side write these words: "From today on, I do the will of God
everywhere, always, and in everything." Be afraid of nothing; love will
give you strength and make the realization of this easy.
373 In the fundamental
meditation about the goal; that is, of choosing love: the soul must love; it
has need of loving. The soul must divert the stream of its love, but not into
the mud or into a vacuum, but into God. How I rejoice when I reflect on this,
for I feel clearly that He himself is in my heart. Just Jesus alone! I love
creatures insofar as they help me to become united with God. I love all people
because I see the image of God in them.
383 At the beginning of the
retreat, I saw, on the ceiling of the chapel, Jesus nailed to the Cross. He was
looking at the sisters with great love, but not at all of them. There were
three sisters at whom Jesus looked severely, for what reasons I do not know. I
only know what a terrible thing it is to meet with such a look, which is the
look of a severe Judge. That look was not directed at me, and yet I was
paralyzed with terror. I still tremble as I write these words. I did not dare
to say so much as a single word to Jesus. My physical strength failed me, and I
thought I would not live to the end of the conference. The next day, I saw the
same thing again, just as I had seen it the first time, and this time I dared
to speak these words: "Jesus, how great is Your mercy!"
On the third day, that gaze of great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again repeated. I gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of neighbor, and I said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You yourself told me, I beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with kindness at these three sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with Your wisdom, I ask You for an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for my soul, and let Your severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus then said to me these words: My daughter, for the sake of your sincere and generous love, I grant them many graces although they are not asking Me for them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made to you. And at that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three sisters as well. My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
On the third day, that gaze of great kindness upon all the sisters, except the three, was again repeated. I gathered up my courage, which drew its force from love of neighbor, and I said to the Lord, "You, who are Mercy Itself, as You yourself told me, I beg You by the power of Your mercy, to look then with kindness at these three sisters as well. And if this is not in accord with Your wisdom, I ask You for an exchange: turn to them the kind look meant for my soul, and let Your severe gaze at their souls be turned on me." Jesus then said to me these words: My daughter, for the sake of your sincere and generous love, I grant them many graces although they are not asking Me for them. But I am doing so because of the promise I have made to you. And at that moment, He turned a merciful look towards those three sisters as well. My heart leapt with joy to see the goodness of God.
389 Love must be reciprocal. If
Jesus tasted the fullness of bitterness for me, then I, His bride, will accept
all bitterness as proof of my love for Him.
390 He who knows how to forgive prepares for himself many graces from God. As often as I look upon the cross, so often will I forgive with all my heart.
391 Through Holy Baptism, we entered into union with other souls. Death tightens the bonds of love. I ought always to be of help to others. If I am a good religious, I will be useful, not only to the Order, but to the whole Country as well.
392 The Lord God grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
390 He who knows how to forgive prepares for himself many graces from God. As often as I look upon the cross, so often will I forgive with all my heart.
391 Through Holy Baptism, we entered into union with other souls. Death tightens the bonds of love. I ought always to be of help to others. If I am a good religious, I will be useful, not only to the Order, but to the whole Country as well.
392 The Lord God grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loves with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond I, His spouse?
481 Almost every feast of the
Church gives me a deeper knowledge of God and a special grace. That is why I
prepare myself for each feast and unite myself closely with the spirit of the
Church. What a joy it is to be a faithful child of the Church! Oh, how much I
love Holy Church and all those who live in it! I look upon them as living
members of Christ, who is their Head. I burn with love with those who love; I
suffer with those who suffer, I am consumed with sorrow at the sight of those
whoa are cold and ungrateful; and I then try to have such a love for God that
it will make amends for those who do not love Him, those who feed their Savior
with ingratitude at its worst.
890 Love is a mystery that transforms
everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God. The love of
God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she knows no slavish compulsion;
she sets about everything with great freedom of soul, because the love which
dwells in her incites her to action. Everything that surrounds her makes her
know that only God himself is worthy of her love. A soul in love with God and
immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same dispositions as she does
Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with great care, under the
loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if, after some time, something turns
out to be less successful. She remains calm, because at the time of the action
she had done what was in her power. When it happens that the living presence of
God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her, she then tries to continue
living in lively faith. Her soul understands that there are periods of rest and
periods of battle. Through her will, she is always with God. Her soul, like a
knight, is well trained in battle; from afar it sees where the foe is hiding
and is ready for battle. She knows she is not alone-God is her strength.
1244 August
15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware
of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of
the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary,
and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And
at that moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle.
With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with
Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered
with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My
Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one
distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity
and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these
words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone
with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of God and how to
apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is
impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that
you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy
eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in
accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and
holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep
understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-57-58, 241, 245, 253-254,
267-268)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-276-279, 281-283, 285,
288-289,)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-293-294, 296,302-306,
343, 367)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-371-373, 383, 389-392)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-890)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-VI-1244)
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