Glimpsing the Depths of Jesus-Divine Mercy Miracles Meditations

Glimpsing the Depths of Jesus

Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Father James Swanson, LC

John 6: 24-35

When the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they themselves got into boats and came to Capernaum looking for Jesus. And when they found him across the sea they said to him, "Rabbi, when did you get here?" Jesus answered them and said, "Amen, amen, I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and were filled. Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him the Father, God, has set his seal." So they said to him, "What can we do to accomplish the works of God?" Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in the one he sent.” The crowd said to Jesus, "What sign can you do, that we may see and believe in you? What can you do? Our ancestors ate manna in the desert, as it is written: He gave them bread from heaven to eat.´" So Jesus said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave the bread from heaven; my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world." So they said to him, "Sir, give us this bread always." Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst."

Introductory Prayer: Jesus, I believe that You are present in my life. You know all of my thoughts, desires, intentions and deeds. Yet You love me anyway. Thank You for the supreme gift of Yourself to us in the Eucharist, where we can truly encounter You: body, blood, soul and divinity. I trust in Your love and abandon myself to You.

Petition: Lord, help me not to look for signs, but to rest in Your love.

1. What Have You Done for Me Lately? The crowd asks Jesus for a sign, and this is strange. Isn’t this the same crowd that he fed the day before with five loaves and two fish (cf. John 6:1-14)? Didn’t they say at the time, “This is truly the Prophet, the one who is to come into the world.”(John 6:14)? Didn’t Jesus have to escape from them since they wanted to make him king (cf. John 6:15)? Sometimes, I’m the same way. There is an abundance of things that Jesus has done for me. At the moment they happen, I receive them with joy. Perhaps I am grateful, but more often than not, I don’t give Jesus enough credit. And even if I do thank him, on the following day (sometimes even sooner), I seem to have forgotten. And I go on asking more favors. Maybe I have the attitude that he never does anything for me. How can I be so dense to not grasp all the signs of love that he shows me every day?

2. The Crowd Is Condemned by the Very Psalm They Quote to Jesus: The crowd quotes Scripture to Jesus, trying to get him to multiply more loaves: “He gave them bread from heaven to eat.” (Psalm 78:24) They are looking for their own material benefit and want him to do a miracle that will feed them every day, like the manna in the desert that fed their forefathers for forty years. Yet their own words condemn them. Psalm 78 is about the hard-heartedness of their forefathers in the desert in spite of the manna and other signs the Lord worked for them: “And they ate and were well filled, for he gave them what they craved…. In spite of all this they still sinned; they did not believe in his wonders” (Psalm 78:29, 32). Doesn’t Jesus deal with me at least as well as he did with the Israelites in the wilderness? Hasn’t he always been on hand to help me?

3. Jesus Always Gives Us Better Than What We Ask For: They are asking for more ordinary bread. Jesus promises them something better – bread to feed the spirit. He starts by talking about ordinary things and then elevates the conversation to more spiritual things. We are well aware how much we need certain everyday things, like bread. Jesus is trying to help us see we need something to feed us spiritually just as much – if not more. The crowd ate yesterday and was satisfied yesterday. Today, they are hungry again, and come again to Jesus hoping to be given something like manna that will feed them every day so they won’t have to worry about ordinary hunger again. Jesus goes beyond that and speaks to them of a bread that is coming, a bread that will feed them spiritually so that they will never have to hunger spiritually again. He gives them something far better than what they ask for: the bread of his own body.

Conversation with Christ: Dear Jesus, so often I see things only from my own selfish perspective. I think very materialistically, not glimpsing all that is happening on the supernatural level, especially the supernatural gifts You give me every day. Help me to be more spiritual and less selfish. Help me to trust in Your goodness and loving guidance.

Resolution: I will find a way to visit Jesus in the Eucharist today. If it is really impossible, I will make a spiritual communion, asking Jesus to come into my heart even though I cannot receive him in this moment and asking him to increase my faith, hope and love in him.

Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina Kowalska

6 I am to write [3] down the encounters of my soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I am to write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor soul. Your holy will is the life of my soul. I have received this order through him who is for me Your representative here on earth, who interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for me to write, how unable I am to put down clearly what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen write down that for which many a time there are no words? But You give the order to write, O God; that is enough for me.

18 However, after three weeks I became aware that there is so very little time here for prayer, and of many other things which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a religious community of a stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather the temptation, was growing stronger and stronger to the point where I decided one day to announce my departure to Mother Superior and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God arranged the circumstances in such a way that I could not get to the Mother Superior [Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a strange unrest which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my mind to approach Mother Superior the next morning right afte rMass and tell her of my decision.

19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]

497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most faithfully fulfilled Your Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your inspirations, since I cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own, though interiorly I see Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will of my superiors and my confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will permit me to do so through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be helped, but I give priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with which You speak to me.

678 The essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my own will.

724 On the eve of the retreat, I started to pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began to thank the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth.

954 Today after Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you submit yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw down upon yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special delight in you if you were not living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You know that I am weakness itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You, be with me at each instant.

1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I learned that I was to be transferred to another house. My knowledge of this was purely interior. At the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not be afraid, My daughter; it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans will be thwarted, since they must conform to My will.

1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said to me, Why are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to carry out? I answered, "Why do You leave me on my own at such times, Jesus, and why do I not feel Your presence?" My daughter, even though you do not perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still cannot say that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My presence, and that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will. I do this to achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on.

My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else.

1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your misery does not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls-no one have I excluded!

1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without the will of God.

1184 On an earlier occasion.

In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.

1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey. But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace, the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said, "Your will be done, for everything is possible to You." When I was on the train and gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled.

1200 I would have like to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God-and that has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels [cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].

1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or receive Holy Communion today but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I kept on repeating, "May the Lord's will be done. I know that Your bounty is without limit." Then 1 heard an angel who sang out my whole life history and everything it comprised. I was surprised, but also strengthened.

1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in these days of suffering, I am not capable of any kind of prayer. The oppression of my body and soul has increased. O my Jesus, You do see that Your child is on the decline. I am not forcing myself further, but simply submitting my will to the will of Jesus. O Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.

1205 When I went to confession, I did not even know how to confess. However, the priest [probably Father Casimir Ratkiewicz [205]] recognized the condition of my soul at once and said to me, "Despite everything, you are on the way to salvation; you are on the right path, but God may leave your soul in this darkness and obscurity until death, and the former light may never return. But in all things abandon yourself to the will of God."

1207 August 10. Today I am returning to Cracow, in the company of one of the sisters. My soul is shrouded in suffering. I am continually uniting myself to Him by an act of the will. He is my power and strength.

1208 May You be blessed, O God, for everything You send me. Nothing under the sun happens without Your will. I cannot penetrate Your secrets with regard to myself, but I press my lips to the chalice You offer me.

1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me and what nothingness is penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone; grant me the grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery of God's visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.

1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see the condition of my soul. Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I cannot bring forth from my heart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet, I cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As for You, You are ever the same, while within my soul a change takes place. I trust that the time will come when You will unveil Your countenance, and Your child will again see Your sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can hide yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the enormous love You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am listening and waiting for Your coming, O only Treasure of my heart!

1241 + 0 my Jesus, when someone is unkind and unpleasant toward us, it is difficult enough to bear this kind of suffering. But this is very little in comparison to a suffering which I cannot bear; namely, that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness towards me and then lays snares at my feet at every step I take. What great will power is necessary to love such a soul for God's sake. Many a time one has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If contact with that person were infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but when one lives in close contact with the person and experiences this at each step, this demands a very great effort.

1243 "These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary."

At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."

1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.

1255 "As concerns yourself, Sister, it is good that you are remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything that pertains to the will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state of equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all matters take counsel from your spiritual director. I beg you to keep your levelheadedness and as great a calm as possible.One more thing-I am having printed the chaplet which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on the back. Another large image has also been printed, and with it a few pages which contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy. [208] Pray, Sister, that this be approved."

1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the end of the world.

1262 September 3. First Friday of the month. During Holy Mass, I became united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even the smallest thing does not happen on earth without His will. After having seen this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself completely at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can deal with me as He pleases, and I will bless Him for everything.

1264 Act of total abandonment to the will of God, which is for me, love and mercy itself.

Act of Oblation

Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself.

Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed.

From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere.

1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father....

1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The Lord let me know how much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against... not only by prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.

1267September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went in to talk to the Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I am always with you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task. I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but, despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.

1268 Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has given me many more opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so happened that I was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the kitchen made it clear to me how irritated she was that I had come late for dinner, although it was quite impossible for me to have come sooner. At any rate, I felt so unwell that I had to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie down. I went to ask Sister N. to take my place, and again I got a scolding: "What is this, Sister, you're so exhausted that you're going back to bed again! Confound you with all this lying in bed!" I put up with all that, but that wasn't the end. I still had to ask the sister who was in charge of the sick to bring me my meal. When I told her this, she burst out of the chapel into the corridor after me to give me a piece of her mind: "Why on earth are you going to bed, Sister, etc...... I asked her not to bother bringing me anything. I am writing all this very briefly because it is not my intention to write about such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade souls from treating others in this way, for this is displeasing to the Lord. In a suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified, and not a loafer or burden on the community. A soul who suffers with submission to the will of God draws down more blessings on the whole convent than all the working sisters. Poor indeed is a convent where there are no sick sisters. God often grants many and great graces out of regard for the souls who are suffering, and He withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering souls.

1339 O merciful God, You do not despise us, but lavish Your graces on us continuously. You make us fit to enter ` Your kingdom, and in Your goodness You grant that human beings may fill the places vacated by the ungrateful angels. O God of great mercy, who turned Your sacred gaze away from the rebellious angels and turned it upon contrite man, praise and glory be to Your unfathomable mercy, O God who do not despise the lowly heart.

1548 January 30, 1938. One-day retreat.

The Lord gave me to know, during meditation, that as long as my heart beats in my breast, I must always strive to spread the Kingdom of God on earth. I am to fight for the glory of my Creator.

I know that I will give God the glory He expects of me if I try faithfully to cooperate with God's grace.

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 18-19)

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-497, 678, 954)

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1180,-1184, 1199-1200, 1202)

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1204-1205, 1207-1208)

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1237, 1239, 1241, 1243-1244)

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1255-1256, 1262, 1264-1268)

(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1339, 1548)

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http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml