Mission Impossible?
Tuesday of the
Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time
Matthew 14: 22-36
Jesus made the
disciples get into the boat and precede him to the other side, while he
dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to
pray. When it was evening he was there alone. Meanwhile the boat, already a few
miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against
it. During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them, walking on the
sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified.
"It is a ghost," they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus
spoke to them, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said
to him in reply, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the
water." He said, "Come." Peter got out of the boat and began to
walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he
became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save
me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to
him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" After they got into
the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did him homage,
saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God." After making the crossing,
they came to land at Gennesaret. When the men of that place recognized him,
they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought to him all those
who were sick and begged him that they might touch only the tassel on his
cloak, and as many as touched it were healed.
Introductory
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I believe You
want me to have faith in You, faith that hearkens to Your words without any
second guessing. I hope in Your words, not relying solely on my own strength or
reasoning. I love You. You continue to astonish me by showing me that Your ways
are not my ways.
Petition: Lord, may my prayer lead me to step out from
my comfort zone today.
1. Loneliness
and Prayer: Jesus dismissed the
crowds and went up on the mountain by himself to pray. He was willing to leave
the comfort of others’ company to be alone with God. Being in silence without
others may lead briefly to a certain loneliness and interior emptiness. We may
feel the impulse to seek out others – anything – to anesthetize us from the
pain of being alone. If this is the case, we need to persevere in prayer. This
suffering from silence can turn into joy and peace. But we must remain with God
and learn to enjoy his presence in quiet prayer.
2. Fear of
Prayer: "Take courage, it
is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to him in reply, "Lord, if it is
you, command me to come to you on the water." At times our fear of silent
prayer can be stronger than Peter’s fear of Jesus on the water. We are so used
to the company of others, of keeping busy, of being needed, of “zoning out”,
that we fear relinquishing these comforts even for a short time of prayer. We
must be willing to give up these common comforts, at least temporarily, if we
will learn to pray. We must empty ourselves to be filled by Christ, to trust
and rely on his strength.
3. A Firm Resolve: “After they got into the boat, the wind died
down.” Once we “get into the boat,” that is, once we resolve to embrace silent,
focused prayer, our fears die down like the wind. We have to make a firm
decision to dive full force into our prayer, overcoming inertia of every
stripe, if we wish to experience the freedom, peace and joy of true prayer. Ask
the Lord for that grace and be generous as you begin.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, You know the sluggishness I experience as I set out to pray. You know how I am tempted to put it off and just do something else. Give me the faith and courage to launch into the deep – to begin to pray with all my heart.
Conversation with Christ: Lord, You know the sluggishness I experience as I set out to pray. You know how I am tempted to put it off and just do something else. Give me the faith and courage to launch into the deep – to begin to pray with all my heart.
Resolution: I will make a firm resolve to pray intensely
today.
Excerpts from the DIARY of Saint Faustina
Kowalska
6 I am to write [3] down the encounters of my soul with You, O
God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I am to write about You, O
Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor soul. Your holy will is the life of
my soul. I have received this order through him who is for me Your
representative here on earth, who interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You
see how difficult it is for me to write, how unable I am to put down clearly
what I experience in my soul. O God, can a pen write down that for which many a
time there are no words? But You give the order to write, O God; that is enough
for me.
18 However, after three weeks I
became aware that there is so very little time here for prayer, and of many
other things which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a religious community
of a stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the
will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather the temptation, was
growing stronger and stronger to the point where I decided one day to announce
my departure to Mother Superior and definitely to leave [the convent]. But God
arranged the circumstances in such a way that I could not get to the Mother
Superior [Michael]. I stepped into the little chapel [7] before going to bed, and I asked Jesus for
light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a strange unrest
which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything, I made up my mind to
approach Mother Superior the next morning right afte rMass and tell her of my
decision.
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]
19 I came to my cell. The sisters were already in bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle. All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’ chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after nine without permission. [8]
97
Faith staggers under the impact; the struggle is fierce. The soul tries hard to
cling to God by an act of will. With God's permission, Satan goes even further:
hope and love are put to the test. These temptations are terrible. God supports
the soul in secret, so to speak. The soul is not aware of this, but otherwise
it would be impossible to stand firm; and God knows very well how much He can
allow to befall a soul. The soul is tempted to unbelief in respect to revealed
truths and to insincerity toward the confessor. Satan says to it, "Look,
no one understands you; why speak about all this?" Words that terrify it
sound in its ears, and it seems to the soul that it is uttering these against
God. It sees what it does not want to see. It hears what it does not want to
hear. And, oh, it is a terrible thing at times like these not to have an
experienced confessor! The soul carries the whole burden alone. However, one
should make every effort to find, if it is at all possible, a well-informed
confessor, for the soul can collapse under the burden and come to the very edge
of the precipice. All these trials are heavy and difficult. God does not send
them to a soul which has not already been admitted to a deeper intimacy with
Him and which has not yet tasted the divine delights. Besides, in this God has
His own plans, which for us are impenetrable. God often prepares a soul in this
way for His future designs and great works. He wants to try it as pure gold is
tried. But this is not yet the end of the testing; there is still the trial of
trials, the complete abandonment of the soul by God.
+
The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
136 And the Lord gave me to know that the whole mystery
depended on me, on my free consent to the sacrifice given with full use of my
faculties. In this free and conscious act lies the whole power and value before
His Majesty. Even if none of these things for which I offered myself would ever
happen to me, before the Lord everything was as though it had already been
consummated.
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with me at every moment of my life."
At that moment, I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, "Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace. Do with me as You please. I beg You, O Lord, be with me at every moment of my life."
138
A great mystery has been accomplished between God and me. Courage and strength
have remained in my soul. When the time of adoration came to an end, I came out
and calmly faced everything I had feared so much before. When I came out into
the corridor, a great suffering and humiliation, at the hands of a certain
person, was awaiting me. I accepted it with submission to a higher will and
snuggled closely to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, letting Him know that I was
ready for that for which I had offered myself.
497 O Eternal Truth, Word Incarnate, who most faithfully fulfilled Your
Father's will, today I am becoming a martyr of Your inspirations, since I
cannot carry them out because I have no will of my own, though interiorly I see
Your will clearly. I submit in everything to the will of my superiors and my
confessor. I will follow Your will insofar as You will permit me to do so
through Your representative. O my Jesus, it cannot be helped, but I give
priority to the voice of the Church over the voice with which You speak to me.
678 The
essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God
faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of
my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the
object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to
His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will
of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all manner
of adversities by divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my own
will.
724 On the eve of the retreat, I started to pray that the Lord Jesus
might give me just a little health so that I could take part in the retreat,
because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it might be my last.
However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I
interrupted the prayer of supplication and began to thank the Lord for
everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I
felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always
and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to
God. Such submission to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long
fasts, mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward
for one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is
enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my
soul already enjoys, here on earth.
954 Today after Holy Communion, the
Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It is
when you submit yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory and
draw down upon yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special
delight in you if you were not living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am
prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You know that I am weakness
itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You,
be with me at each instant.
1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I
learned that I was to be transferred to another house. My knowledge of this was
purely interior. At the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not be
afraid, My daughter; it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans
will be thwarted, since they must conform to My will.
1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said to me, Why are you afraid
to begin the work which I have commanded you to carry out? I answered,
"Why do You leave me on my own at such times, Jesus, and why do I not feel
Your presence?" My daughter, even though you do not perceive Me in the
most secret depths of your heart, you still cannot say that I am not there. I
only remove from you the awareness of My presence, and that should not be an
obstacle to the carrying out of My will. I do this to achieve My unfathomable
ends, which you will know of later on.
My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else.
My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else.
1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and
delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your misery does not
hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the
greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable
abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain
of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls-no one have I excluded!
1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this
were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the
greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I
want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without
the will of God.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet and side, the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, "Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls." And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My Passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka today. I went into the chapel and
asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey. But within my soul there was silence
and darkness. I felt I was all alone and had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus
to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus
was with me but, after this grace, the darkness and shadows in my soul increased.
Then I said, "Your will be done, for everything is possible to You."
When I was on the train and gazed through the window at the beautiful
countryside and the mountains, the torments of my soul grew even greater. As
the sisters welcomed me and began to surround me with their warmth, my
sufferings redoubled.
1200 I would have like to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a
word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me
comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about myself, I would have
experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and
submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God-and that has given me relief.
I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is
necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the
greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels [cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex.
23:20].
1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or receive Holy Communion today
but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I kept on repeating, "May the
Lord's will be done. I know that Your bounty is without limit." Then 1
heard an angel who sang out my whole life history and everything it comprised.
I was surprised, but also strengthened.
1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in these days of suffering, I am
not capable of any kind of prayer. The oppression of my body and soul has
increased. O my Jesus, You do see that Your child is on the decline. I am not
forcing myself further, but simply submitting my will to the will of Jesus. O
Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.
1205 When I went to confession, I did not even know how to confess.
However, the priest [probably Father Casimir Ratkiewicz [205]] recognized the condition of my soul at
once and said to me, "Despite everything, you are on the way to salvation;
you are on the right path, but God may leave your soul in this darkness and
obscurity until death, and the former light may never return. But in all things
abandon yourself to the will of God."
1207 August 10. Today I am returning to Cracow, in the company of one of
the sisters. My soul is shrouded in suffering. I am continually uniting myself
to Him by an act of the will. He is my power and strength.
1208 May You be blessed, O God, for everything You send me. Nothing under
the sun happens without Your will. I cannot penetrate Your secrets with regard
to myself, but I press my lips to the chalice You offer me.
1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me and what nothingness is
penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone; grant me the grace of
faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery of God's visitation, it
is in my power to say: Your will be done.
1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see the condition of my soul. Of
myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I cannot bring forth from my heart
the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet, I cast upon the Tabernacle the
gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As for You, You are ever the same,
while within my soul a change takes place. I trust that the time will come when
You will unveil Your countenance, and Your child will again see Your sweet
face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can hide yourself from me for so long
and that You can restrain the enormous love You have for me. In the dwelling of
my heart, I am listening and waiting for Your coming, O only Treasure of my
heart!
1241 + 0 my Jesus, when someone is unkind and unpleasant toward us, it is
difficult enough to bear this kind of suffering. But this is very little in
comparison to a suffering which I cannot bear; namely, that which I experience
when someone exhibits kindness towards me and then lays snares at my feet at every
step I take. What great will power is necessary to love such a soul for God's
sake. Many a time one has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If
contact with that person were infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but
when one lives in close contact with the person and experiences this at each
step, this demands a very great effort.
1243 "These times of dryness and stark awareness of one's
wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can
do by itself. They will teach you how much you should appreciate God's graces.
Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything,
just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be
absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to
time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. Sometimes, a
little bitter truth is necessary."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, "I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He himself draws you to himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God's will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother."
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God's presence pervaded me
keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary's joy at the moment of Her
Assumption. Towards the end of the ceremony carried out in honor of the Mother
of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am
with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of
our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother
General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all
the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God
said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will
be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself
by the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and
neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole Congregation
disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who
instructed me about the will of God and how to apply it to my life, submitting
completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to please God
without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you
faithfully fulfill all God's wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy
eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in
accomplishing God's will. Put the will of God before all sacrifices and
holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep
understanding of this will of God was entering my soul.
1255 "As concerns yourself, Sister, it is good that you are
remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything that pertains to the
will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state of equilibrium. Please
do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards all these matters, you
are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in complete agreement with
him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all matters take counsel from your
spiritual director. I beg you to keep your levelheadedness and as great a calm
as possible.One more thing-I am having printed the chaplet which is to be on
the back of the image, as well as the invocations that resemble a litany; these
too will be placed on the back. Another large image has also been printed, and
with it a few pages which contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy. [208] Pray, Sister, that this be
approved."
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the end of the world.
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. And through this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the end of the world.
1262 September 3. First Friday of the month. During Holy Mass, I became
united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even the smallest thing does not
happen on earth without His will. After having seen this, my soul entered into
an unusual repose; I found myself completely at peace as to the work in its
full extent. God can deal with me as He pleases, and I will bless Him for
everything.
1264 Act of total abandonment to the will of God, which is for me, love
and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation
Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself.
Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed.
From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere.
1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father....
1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The Lord let me know how much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against... not only by prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.
1267September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went in to talk to the Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I am always with you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task. I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but, despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
Act of Oblation
Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself.
Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed.
From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere.
1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, "Your will be done, O Lord." O Savior of the world, Lover of man's salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father....
1266 August 5, [1937]. [209] The Lord let me know how much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against... not only by prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.
1267September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went in to talk to the Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I am always with you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task. I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but, despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
1268 Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has given me many more
opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so happened that I was busier
than usual, and the sister in charge of the kitchen made it clear to me how
irritated she was that I had come late for dinner, although it was quite
impossible for me to have come sooner. At any rate, I felt so unwell that I had
to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie down. I went to ask Sister N. to take
my place, and again I got a scolding: "What is this, Sister, you're so
exhausted that you're going back to bed again! Confound you with all this lying
in bed!" I put up with all that, but that wasn't the end. I still had to
ask the sister who was in charge of the sick to bring me my meal. When I told
her this, she burst out of the chapel into the corridor after me to give me a
piece of her mind: "Why on earth are you going to bed, Sister, etc...... I
asked her not to bother bringing me anything. I am writing all this very
briefly because it is not my intention to write about such things, and I am
doing so merely to dissuade souls from treating others in this way, for this is
displeasing to the Lord. In a suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified, and
not a loafer or burden on the community. A soul who suffers with submission to
the will of God draws down more blessings on the whole convent than all the
working sisters. Poor indeed is a convent where there are no sick sisters. God
often grants many and great graces out of regard for the souls who are
suffering, and He withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering
souls.
1339 O merciful God, You do not despise us, but lavish Your
graces on us continuously. You make us fit to enter ` Your kingdom, and in Your
goodness You grant that human beings may fill the places vacated by the
ungrateful angels. O God of great mercy, who turned Your sacred gaze away from
the rebellious angels and turned it upon contrite man, praise and glory be to
Your unfathomable mercy, O God who do not despise the lowly heart.
1548 January 30, 1938. One-day retreat.
The Lord gave me to know, during meditation, that as long as my heart beats in my breast, I must always strive to spread the Kingdom of God on earth. I am to fight for the glory of my Creator.
I know that I will give God the glory He expects of me if I try faithfully to cooperate with God's grace.
The Lord gave me to know, during meditation, that as long as my heart beats in my breast, I must always strive to spread the Kingdom of God on earth. I am to fight for the glory of my Creator.
I know that I will give God the glory He expects of me if I try faithfully to cooperate with God's grace.
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-6, 18-19, 97-98, 136, 138)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-II-497, 678, 954)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1180,-1184, 1199-1200, 1202)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1204-1205, 1207-1208)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1237, 1239, 1241, 1243-1244)
(Diary
of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1255-1256, 1262, 1264-1268)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1339, 1548)
http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml
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