Wearing the Right Clothes
Thursday of the
Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time
Father José LaBoy, LC
Matthew 22: 1-14
Once more Jesus spoke
to them in parables, saying: "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a
king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his slaves to call those
who had been invited to the wedding banquet, but they would not come. Again he
sent other slaves, saying, ´Tell those who have been invited: Look, I have
prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and
everything is ready; come to the wedding banquet.´ But they made light of it
and went away, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized
his slaves, mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his
troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his
slaves, ´The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore
into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.´
Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both
good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests. But when the king
came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding
robe, and he said to him, ´Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding
robe?´ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ´Bind him hand
and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping
and gnashing of teeth.´ For many are called, but few are chosen."
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in you because You have
created me to be with you. I hope in You because You always give me what I need
to be with You. I love You because You continue to invite me, in spite of my
reticence and sinfulness.
Petition: Lord, grant me the grace to value heaven and
to live in such a way that I can get there.
1. How Dare You Not Accept!
God invites us to
accept freely the gift of union with him to which he calls us. But, lo and
behold, we can use our freedom badly and not accept the only thing that can
truly make us happy. This occurs when we forget about God, no longer giving him
the adoration and love he deserves as our Creator and Father, putting ourselves
in first place, and becoming the sole criteria for our decisions and actions.
This passage helps us to remember what type of freedom we have. We do not have
absolute freedom. We can’t choose what our end should be. Only God is our end.
Our freedom is limited and consists in being free to choose the means that most
efficaciously help us to reach that end.
2. An Undeserved
Invitation: Our possibility of
getting to heaven is truly a gift from God. He invites us even though we are
sinners, even though we don’t take his Son’s death and resurrection seriously,
even though we continue to fall in spite of having all the grace and strength
we need to overcome temptation. St. Paul, in his letter to the Romans, states
how hard it is for a man to give his life for another person (see Romans 4:7).
Maybe he would do it for a very good person. Christ didn’t give his life for
good persons; he gave it for sinners. We should be moved to respond to this
amazing manifestation of love for us: Total adherence to God is the only worthy
response.
3. Dressing for the
Occasion: God is good, but he is
not naïve. He won’t let us in to full communion with him if we do not value it
properly. The robe mentioned in the Gospel passage is an image of the soul. The
soul that has been purified and is prepared to enter into heaven wears a
wedding robe. The soul that is full of selfishness and sin is improperly
dressed. It is not a matter of God not having mercy on us. It’s a matter of the
use of our freedom. When we encounter something that has value and know that it
will make us better, we have to appropriate that value through conscious
effort. We have to live up to it. We can’t be indifferent or superficial
regarding heaven. We shouldn’t regard it as just something possible; it should
be an existential need.
Conversation with
Christ: Dear Lord, so many
times I give more importance to my own satisfaction than to centering my
attention and efforts on achieving true communion with You. Help me to value Your
invitation to reach heaven through a truly Christian life that prefers virtue
to sin, disinterested love to selfishness, humility to pride.
Resolution: Today I will try to work on a virtue that I need so as to
respond to God’s love for me.
Excerpts from the DIARY of
Saint Faustina Kowalska
55 1933. Spiritual Counsel Given Me by Father
Andrasz, S.J.
First: You must not turn away from these interior inspirations,
but always tell everything to your confessor. If you recognize that these
interior inspirations refer to your own self; that is to say, they are for the
good of your soul or for the good of other souls, l urge you to follow them;
and you must not neglect them, but always do so in consultation with your
confessor.
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
Second: If these inspirations are not in accord with the faith or the spirit of the Church, they must be rejected immediately as coming from the evil spirit.
Third: If these inspirations do not refer to souls, in general, nor specifically to their good, you should not take them too seriously, and it would be better to even ignore them.
But you should not make this decision by yourself, either one way or the other, as you can easily be led astray despite these great favors from God. Humility, humility, and ever humility, as we can do nothing of ourselves; all is purely and simply God's grace.
You say to me that God demands great trust from souls; well then, you be the first to show this trust. And one more word-accept all this with serenity.
Words of one of the confessors: "Sister, God is preparing many special graces for you, but try to make your life as clear as crystal before the Lord, paying no attention to what anyone else thinks about you. Let God suffice you; He alone."
Toward the end of my novitiate, a confessor [perhaps Father Theodore] told me: "Go through life doing good, so that I could write on its pages: `She spent her life doing good.' May God bring this about in you."
Another time the confessor said to me, "Comport yourself before God like the widow in the Gospel; although the coin she dropped into the box was of little value, it counted far more before God than all the big offerings of others."
On another occasion the instruction I received was this: " Act in such a way that all those who come in contact with you will go away joyful. Sow happiness about you because you have received much from God; give, then, generously to others. They should take leave of you with their hearts filled with joy, even if they have no more than touched the hem of your garment. Keep well in mind the words I am telling you right now."
Still another time he gave me the following recommendation: "Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life."
Here are a few words from a conversation I had with the Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] toward the end of my novitiate: "Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance. There, where others fear, you will pass calmly along, thanks to this simplicity and humility. Remember this, Sister, for your whole life: as waters flow from the mountains down into the valleys, so, too, do God's graces flow only into humble souls."
67
When I fell sick [probably the beginning of consumption] after my first vows
and when, despite the kind and solicitous care of my Superiors and the efforts
of the doctor, I felt neither better nor worse, remarks began to reach my ears
which inferred that I was making believe. With that, my suffering was doubled,
and this lasted for quite a long time. One day I complained to Jesus that I was
being a burden to the sisters. Jesus answered me, You are not living for
yourself but for souls, and other souls will profit from your sufferings. Your
prolonged suffering will give them the light and strength to accept My will.
93
The Degrees of Obedience
Prompt and complete fulfillment - the obedience of the will, when the will persuades the intellect to submit to the advice of the superior. To facilitate obedience, Saint Ignatius suggests, moreover, three means: always to see God in our superior, whoever he might be; to justify in itself the order or advice of the superior; to accept each order as an order from God, without examining it or reflecting on it. General means: humility. Nothing is difficult for the humble.
Prompt and complete fulfillment - the obedience of the will, when the will persuades the intellect to submit to the advice of the superior. To facilitate obedience, Saint Ignatius suggests, moreover, three means: always to see God in our superior, whoever he might be; to justify in itself the order or advice of the superior; to accept each order as an order from God, without examining it or reflecting on it. General means: humility. Nothing is difficult for the humble.
+
The Trial of Trials, Complete Abandonment - Despair
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
98 When the soul comes out victorious from the preceding trials, even though it may stumble here and there, it fights on valiantly, humbly calling upon God, "Save me, I am perishing!" And it is still able to fight on.
At this point, however, the soul is engulfed in a horrible night. It sees within itself only sin. It feels terrible. It sees itself completely abandoned by God. It feels itself to be the object of His hatred. It is but one step away from despair. The soul does its best to defend itself; it tries to stir up its confidence; but prayer is an even greater torment for it, as this prayer seems to arouse God to an even greater anger. The soul finds itself poised on the summit of a lofty mountain on the very brink of a precipice.
The soul is drawn to God, but feels repulsed. All other sufferings and tortures in the world are as nothing compared with this sensation into which it has been plunged; namely, that of being rejected by God. No one can bring it any relief; it finds itself completely alone; there is no one to defend it. It raises its eyes to heaven, but is convinced that this is not for her-for her all is lost. It falls deeper and deeper from darkness to darkness, and it seems to it that it has lost forever the God it used to love so dearly. This thought is torture beyond all description. But the soul does not agree to it and tries to lift its gaze toward heaven, but in vain! And this makes the torture even more intense.
If God wishes to keep the soul in such darkness, no one will be able to give it light. It experiences rejection by God in a vivid and terrifying manner. From its heart burst forth painful moans, so painful that no priest will comprehend it, unless he himself has been through these trials. In the midst of this, the evil spirit adds to the soul's suffering, mocking it: "Will you persist in your faithfulness? This is your reward; you are in our power!" But Satan has only as much influence over the soul as God allows him, and God knows how much we can bear. "What have you gotten out of your mortifications," says Satan, "and out of your fidelity to the rule? What use are all these efforts? You have been rejected by God!" This word, rejected, becomes a fire which penetrates every nerve to the marrow of the bone. It pierces right through her entire being. The ordeal reaches its climax. The soul no longer looks for help anywhere. It shrinks into itself and loses sight of everything; it is as though it has accepted the torture of being abandoned. This is a moment for which I have no words. This is the agony of the soul.
102
After some time, one of the sisters came into the cell and found me almost
dead. She was frightened and went to find the Directress of Novices who, in the
name of holy obedience ordered me to get up from the ground. My strength
returned immediately, and I got up, trembling. The Directress recognized
immediately the state of my soul and spoke to me about the inscrutable mercy of
God, saying, "Do not be distressed about anything, Sister. I command this
of you in virtue of obedience." Then she said to me, "I see now,
Sister, that God is calling you to a high degree of holiness; the Lord wants to
draw you very close to Himself since He has allowed these things to happen to
you so soon. Be faithful to God, Sister, because this is a sign that He wants
you to have a high place in heaven." However, I did not understand
anything of these words. When I went into the chapel, I felt as though my soul
had been set free from everything, as though I had just come forth from the
hand of God. I perceived the inviolability of my soul; I felt that I was a tiny
child.
105
However, in all these sufferings and struggles, I was not omitting Holy
Communion. When it seemed to me that I should not communicate, I went, before
Holy Communion, to the Directress and told her that I could not approach the
Sacrament, because it seemed to me that I should not do so. But she would not
permit me to omit Holy Communion, so I went, and I understand now that it was
only obedience that saved me.
The Directress herself told me later that my trials had passed quickly, "and this solely because you were obedient, Sister; and it was through the power of obedience that you struggled through this so bravely." It is true that it was the Lord himself who brought me out of this torment, but my fidelity to obedience did please Him.
The Directress herself told me later that my trials had passed quickly, "and this solely because you were obedient, Sister; and it was through the power of obedience that you struggled through this so bravely." It is true that it was the Lord himself who brought me out of this torment, but my fidelity to obedience did please Him.
106
Though these are frightening things, the soul should not be too fearful,
because God will never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On the other
hand, He may never send us such sufferings, but I write this because, if it
pleases the Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings, it should not be
afraid but, insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it should remain
faithful to God. God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love itself, and in
this unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when I was so
tormented, I myself did not understand this.
113
And again, I would like to say three words to the soul that is determined to
strive for sanctity and to derive fruit; that is to say, benefit from
confession.
First word-complete sincerity and openness. Even the holiest and wisest confessor cannot forcibly pour into the soul what he desires if it is not sincere and open. An insincere, secretive soul risks great dangers in the spiritual life, and even the Lord Jesus Himself does not give Himself to such a soul on a higher level, because He knows it would derive no benefit from these special graces.
Second word-humility. A soul does not benefit as it should from the sacrament of confession if it is not humble. Pride keeps it in darkness. The soul neither knows how, nor is it willing, to probe with precision the depths of its own misery. It puts on a mask and avoids everything that might bring it recovery.
Third word-obedience. A disobedient soul will win no victory, even if the Lord Jesus himself, in person, were to hear its confession. The most experienced confessor will be of no help whatsoever to such a soul. The disobedient soul exposes itself to great misfortunes; it will make no progress toward perfection, nor will it succeed in the spiritual life. God lavishes His graces most generously upon the soul, but it must be an obedient soul.
First word-complete sincerity and openness. Even the holiest and wisest confessor cannot forcibly pour into the soul what he desires if it is not sincere and open. An insincere, secretive soul risks great dangers in the spiritual life, and even the Lord Jesus Himself does not give Himself to such a soul on a higher level, because He knows it would derive no benefit from these special graces.
Second word-humility. A soul does not benefit as it should from the sacrament of confession if it is not humble. Pride keeps it in darkness. The soul neither knows how, nor is it willing, to probe with precision the depths of its own misery. It puts on a mask and avoids everything that might bring it recovery.
Third word-obedience. A disobedient soul will win no victory, even if the Lord Jesus himself, in person, were to hear its confession. The most experienced confessor will be of no help whatsoever to such a soul. The disobedient soul exposes itself to great misfortunes; it will make no progress toward perfection, nor will it succeed in the spiritual life. God lavishes His graces most generously upon the soul, but it must be an obedient soul.
131
But I will simply mention here that these various sufferings had come to a
peak, and I resolved to put an end to these doubts of mine before my perpetual
vows. Throughout my probation, I prayed for light for the priest to whom I was
to open up my soul to its depths. I asked God that He himself would help me and
grant me the grace to be able to express even the most secret things that exist
between me and Him and to be so disposed that, whatever the priest would
decide, I would accept as coming from Jesus himself. No matter what judgment he
would pass on me, all I wanted was the truth and a decisive answer to certain
questions. I put myself completely in God's hands, and [all] my soul desired
was the truth. I could not go on living in doubt any longer although, in the
depths of my soul, I was so very sure that these things came from God, that I
would lay down my life for this. However, I placed the confessor's opinion
above all, and I made up my mind to do as he thought best and to act according
to the advice that he would give me. I looked forward to that moment which
would decide the course of my actions for the rest of my life. I knew that
everything would depend on this. It mattered little whether what he would say
to me would be in accord with my inspirations or quite the contrary; this no
longer mattered to me. I wanted to know the truth and follow it.
Jesus, You can help me! From this moment, I have begun anew. I conceal all the graces within my soul and await whomsoever the Lord will send me. With no doubt in my heart, I asked the Lord himself to deign to help me during these moments, and a courage of sorts entered my soul.
Jesus, You can help me! From this moment, I have begun anew. I conceal all the graces within my soul and await whomsoever the Lord will send me. With no doubt in my heart, I asked the Lord himself to deign to help me during these moments, and a courage of sorts entered my soul.
139
Still, a soul which is faithful to God cannot confirm its own inspirations; it
must submit them to the control of a very wise and learned priest; and until it
is quite certain, it should remain distrustful. It should not, on its own
initiative alone, put its trust in these inspirations and all other higher
graces, because it can thus expose itself to great losses.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
Even though a soul may immediately distinguish between false inspirations and those of God, it should nevertheless be careful, because many things are uncertain. God is pleased and rejoices when a soul distrusts Him for His own sake; because it loves Him, it is prudent and itself asks and searches for help to make certain that it is really God who is acting within it. And once a well-instructed confessor has confirmed this, the soul should be at peace and give itself up to God, according to His directions; that is, according to the directions of the confessor.
140
Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or
adversity. As it remains strong in the midst of great difficulties, so too it
perseveres in the toilsome and drab life of each day. It knows that only one
thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of great
love-love, and always love.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
Pure love never errs. Its light is strangely plentiful. It will not do anything that might displease God. It is ingenious at doing what is more pleasing to God, and no one will equal it. It is happy when it can empty itself and burn like a pure offering. The more it gives of itself, the happier it is. But also, no one can sense dangers from afar as can love; it knows how to unmask and also knows with whom it has to deal.
148
+A noble and delicate soul, even the most simple, but one of delicate
sensibilities, sees God in everything, finds Him everywhere, and knows how to
find Him in even the most hidden things. It finds all things important, it
highly appreciates all things, it thanks God for all things, it draws profit
for the soul from all things, and it gives all glory to God. It places its
trust in God and is not confused when the time of ordeals comes. It knows that
God is always the best of Fathers and makes little of human opinion. It follows
faithfully the faintest breath of the Holy Spirit; it rejoices in this
Spiritual Guest and holds onto Him like a child to its mother. Where other
souls come to a standstill and fear, this soul passes on without fear or difficulty.
149
When the Lord himself wants to be close to a soul and to lead it, He will
remove everything that is external. When I fell ill and was taken to the
infirmary, I suffered much unpleasantness because of this. There were two of us
sick in the infirmary. Sisters would come to see Sister N., but no one came to
visit me. It is true that there was only one infirmary, but each one had her
own cell. The winter nights were long, and Sister N. had the light and the
radio headphones, while I could not even prepare my meditation for lack of a
light.
When
nearly two weeks had passed in this way, I complained to the Lord one evening
that I was suffering so much and that I could not even prepare my meditation
because there was no light. And the Lord said that He would come every evening
and give me the points for the next day's meditation. These points always
concerned His sorrowful Passion. He would say, Consider My sufferings before
Pilate. And thus, point by point, I meditated upon His sorrowful Passion
for one week. From that moment, a great joy entered my soul, and I no longer
wanted either the visitors or the light; Jesus sufficed me for everything. The
superiors were indeed very solicitous for the sick, but the Lord ordained that
I should feel forsaken. This best of masters withdraws every created thing in
order that He himself might act. Many a time, I have experienced such
sufferings and persecutions that Mother M. [probably Mother Margaret] herself
said to me, "Sister, along your path, sufferings just spring up out of the
ground. I look upon you, Sister, as one crucified. But I can see that Jesus has
a hand in this. Be faithful to the Lord."
190
Once during an adoration, the Lord demanded that I give myself up to Him as an
offering, by bearing a certain suffering in atonement, not only for the sins of
the world in general, but specifically for transgressions committed in this
house. Immediately I said, "Very good; I am ready." But Jesus gave me
to see what I was going to suffer, and in one moment the whole passion unfolded
itself before my eyes. Firstly, my intentions will not be recognized; there
will be all kinds of suspicion and distrust as well as various kinds of
humiliations and adversities. I will not mention everything here. All these
things stood before my soul's eye like a dark storm from which lightning was
ready to strike at any moment, waiting only for my consent. For a moment, my
nature was frightened. Then suddenly the dinner bell rang. I left the chapel,
trembling and undecided. But the sacrifice was ever present before me, for I
had neither decided to accept it, nor had I refused the Lord. I wanted to place
myself completely in His will. If the Lord Jesus himself were to impose it on
me, I was ready. But Jesus gave me to know that I myself was to give my free
consent and accept it with full consciousness, or else it would be meaningless.
Its whole power was contained in my free act before God. But at the same time,
Jesus gave me to understand that the decision was completely within my power. I
could do it or not do it. And so I then answered immediately, "Jesus, I
accept everything that You wish to send me; I trust in Your goodness." At
that moment, I felt that by this act I glorified God greatly. But I armed
myself with patience. As soon as I left the chapel, I had an encounter with
reality. I do not want to describe the details, but there was as much of it as
I was able to bear. I would not have been able to bear even one drop more.
257 Tomorrow I am to leave for Vilnius. Today, I went to
confession to Father Andrasz, this priest who is so filled with the spirit of
God, who untied my wings so that I could soar to the highest summits. He
reassured me in everything and told me to believe in Divine Providence.
"Have confidence and walk ahead with courage." An extraordinary,
divine power came over me after that confession. Father stressed that I must be
faithful to God's grace and said, "No harm will come to you if, in the
future, you continue to keep this same simplicity and obedience. Have
confidence in God; you are on the right path and in good hands, in God's
hands."
362 +One day, during the morning meditation, I heard this
voice: I myself am your
director; I was, I am, and I will be. And since you asked for visible help, I
chose and gave you a director even before you had asked, for My work required
this. Know that the faults you commit against him wound My Heart. Be especially
on your guard against self-willfulness; even the smallest thing should bear the
seal of obedience.
With a crushed and humbled heart I begged forgiveness of Jesus for these faults. I also begged pardon of my spiritual director and resolved to do nothing rather than to do many things wrongly.
With a crushed and humbled heart I begged forgiveness of Jesus for these faults. I also begged pardon of my spiritual director and resolved to do nothing rather than to do many things wrongly.
365 My spiritual director replaced it with an interior
mortification; namely, throughout Holy Mass I was to meditate on why the Lord
Jesus had submitted to being baptized. The meditation was no mortification for
me, for thinking about God is a delight and not a mortification; but there was
a mortification of the will in that I was not doing [simply] what I like, but
what I was told to do, and it is in this that interior mortification consists.
When I left the confessional and started to recite my penance, I heard these
words: I have granted
the grace you asked for on behalf of that soul, but not because of the
mortification you chose for yourself. Rather, it was because of your act of
complete obedience to My representative that I granted this grace to that soul
for whom you interceded and begged mercy. Know that when you mortify your own
self-will, then Mine reigns within you.
376 My Jesus, I trust that Your grace will help me to
carry out these resolutions. Although the above points are contained in the vow
of obedience, I want to practice these things in a special way, because this is
the essence of the religious life. Merciful Jesus, I beg You fervently to
enlighten my mind so that I may come to know You better, You who are the
Infinite Being, and that I may get to know myself better, who am nothingness
itself.
381 When meditating once on obedience, I heard these
words: In this
meditation, the priest [90]
is speaking particularly for you. Know that I am borrowing his lips.
I tried to listen most attentively to everything and to apply everything to my
own heart, as in every meditation. When the priest said that an obedient soul
was filled with the power of God... Yes,
when you are obedient I take away your weakness and replace it with My
strength. I am very surprised that souls do not want to make that exchange with
Me. I said to the Lord, "Jesus, enlighten my heart, or
else I, too, will not understand much from these words."
1006 + O my Lord and God, You command me to write about
the graces You grant me. O my Jesus, were it not for a clear command from my
confessors,[178]
that I am to write down what goes on in my soul, I would not, of my own choice,
write a single word. And so, if I do write about myself, it is at the formal
command of holy obedience.
1023 + Today, I received some oranges. When the sister had
left, I thought to myself, "Should I eat the oranges instead of doing
penance and mortifying myself during Holy Lent? After all, I am feeling a bit
better." Then I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, you please Me more by eating the oranges
out of obedience and love of Me than by fasting and mortifying yourself of your
own will. A soul that loves Me very much must, ought to live by My will. I know
your heart, and I know that it will not be satisfied by anything but My love
alone.
1267 September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new assignment.
I go from the garden to the desert of the gate. [210] I went
in to talk to the Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces
to faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I am always with you. I
have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy which you will
perform according to obedience. You will give Me much pleasure if, each evening,
you will speak to Me especially about this task. I felt that
Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but, despite this,
I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
1312 + Jesus came to the main entrance today, under the
guise of a poor young man. This young man, emaciated, barefoot and bareheaded,
and with his clothes in tatters, was frozen because the day was cold and rainy.
He asked for something hot to eat. So I went to the kitchen, but found nothing
there for the poor. But, after searching around for some time, I succeeded in
finding some soup, which I reheated and into which I crumbled some bread, and I
gave it to the poor young man, who ate it. As I was taking the bowl from him,
he gave me to know that He was the Lord of heaven and earth. When I saw Him as
He was, He vanished from my sight. When I went back in and reflected on what
had happened at the gate, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, the blessings of the
poor who bless Me as they leave this gate have reached My ears. And your
compassion, within the bounds of obedience, has pleased Me, and this is why I
came down from My throne-to taste the fruits of your mercy.
1374 October 30, 1937. Today, during the religious
ceremonies [217]
taking place during Mass, and the second day of thanksgiving, I saw the Lord
Jesus in great beauty, and He said to me,
My daughter, I have not released you from taking action. I
answered, "Lord, my hand is too feeble for such work." Yes, I know; but joined with My right
hand you will accomplish everything. Nevertheless, be obedient, be obedient to
the confessors. I will give them light on how to direct you.
"Lord, I already wanted to begin the work in Your Name, but Father S.
keeps putting it off." Jesus answered me, I know this; so do just what is within your power, but
you must never withdraw your efforts.
1378 I felt worse today, and I went to Mother Superior,
intending to ask her for permission to go to bed. However, before I could ask
for permission, Mother Superior said to me, "Sister, you must somehow
manage by yourself at the gate, because I am taking the girl to work at the
cabbage, since there is no one else for the cabbage." I said-good, and
left the room. When I got to the gate, I felt unusually strong, and I was at my
post all day and felt well. I experienced the power of holy obedience.
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-55, 67, 93, 102, 105-106, 113, 131)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-139-140, 148-149, 190, 257, 362)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-I-365, 376, 381)
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-III-1006, 1023 )
(Diary of
Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-IV-1267, 1312)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1378)
(Diary of Sister Faustina Kowalska Notebook-V-1378)
http://www.saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS10.shtml
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